Номортландия

00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,259

Didn't you guys

wrap all that up?

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,468

You can just say

you don't wanna hang out.

00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:11,928

I don't wanna hang out.

00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,555

What the hell,

who took my kombucha?

00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,223

I threw that out,

it smelled bad.

00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,767

Of course it smelled bad,

it's kombucha.

00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,602

You 'booch,

you lose.

00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,271

Rick, c-can you portal me

to school?

00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,689

- No.

- Gimme that.

00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,190

Hey! Summer!

Summer, give it back!

00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,235

Honey, did you move

the car keys?

00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:31,239

Ahp, nevermind,

they were at the bottom.

00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,575

Well, that is the last time

00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:36,245

I eat full-fat ice cream

after midnight--

00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,539

Um...

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,417

Okay?

00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:45,295

Hey!

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,338

What are you--

00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,882

Hey!

00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,683

Alright, alright,

I yield!

00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,185

Geez, you're fast.

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:02,687

Are you...

a-a clone of me?

00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,856

- Did Rick--

- Don't-- Don't tell Rick.

00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,525

You want me not talkin'?

Then you better start talkin'.

00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,653

Not here.

C'mon, you can buy me lunch.

00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,906

I'm not buying you lunch!

00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,533

What if we call it

"Breakfast 2"?

00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,618

No!

00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,320

{\an8}And you're sure Rick

won't spy on us here?

00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,531

{\an8}Yeah,

he hates the mall.

00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,282

{\an8}It's kinda why

I come here so much.

00:01:56,283 --> 00:02:00,578

{\an8}Or maybe me being here

is why he hates it.

00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,288

{\an8}I've actually been

thinking about getting a job

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,957

{\an8}at American Eagle.

00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,834

{\an8}Oooh, the Eagle Man.

00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:07,168

{\an8}You gonna eat that?

00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,753

{\an8}- Not really.

- Thanks.

00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:12,674

{\an8}Mm.

The road provides.

00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:15,885

{\an8}O-Okay, "the road"?

Who are you?!

00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,637

{\an8}Are-- Are you here

from the future?

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,305

{\an8}A-Are you here to kill me?

00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,099

{\an8}You think I came from the future

to replace a guy

00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,600

{\an8}who loves the mall?

00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,311

{\an8}I'm a... traveler.

From another dimension.

00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,896

{\an8}Oho,

you stole a portal gun?

00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,815

{\an8}What? No, man,

that brings the heat.

00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,151

{\an8}I more... slip through cracks

in the multiverse.

00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,070

{\an8}Your family's cool,

by the way.

00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,282

{\an8}My Morty and Summer

fight way more than yours.

00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,784

{\an8}Well, you don't seem

like a serial killer.

00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,703

{\an8}And I bet I'd know.

00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,913

{\an8}- But you can't stay here.

- No sweat, Eagle Man.

00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,999

{\an8}Just get me back

to your upstairs closet.

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,460

{\an8}'Kay, well,

that is a weird location.

00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,046

{\an8}If you do try to kill me

and take over my life,

00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,923

{\an8}I can scream very loud.

00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,093

{\an8}And you never

get caught doing this?

00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,179

{\an8}Jerrys are basically invisible.

It's our superpower.

00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,723

{\an8}- Nobody sees us--

- Jerry! Get in here!

00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:03,099

{\an8}- Shit! He saw you!

- Oh, God!

00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,309

{\an8}What's all this shit

in the freezer?!

00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,269

{\an8}- Go!

- What?

00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,770

{\an8}Don't make him any

more suspicious, talk to him!

00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:11,858

{\an8}- Uh, uh--

- I'll meet you upstairs!

00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,485

{\an8}Hey, Rick!

00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,613

{\an8}Your frozen dumplings are

still in there, Jerry.

00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:17,989

{\an8}There's limited space

in there, Jerry.

00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,741

{\an8}W-We all live here

together.

00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,159

{\an8}Hey! Hey!

00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,036

{\an8}Look at me

when I'm talking to you.

00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,204

{\an8}You catch that episode of

"Naked And Alone" last night?

00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,206

{\an8}Hey, between you and me?

00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,875

{\an8}I think that guy likes

to drink the yak piss.

00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,419

{\an8}Are-- Are you making

conversation with me?

00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,296

{\an8}Sorry! Sorry.

00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,882

{\an8}I guess I do

watch that TV show.

00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,009

{\an8}And he does seem excited

about the piss.

00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,677

{\an8}He does!

00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,180

{\an8}Okay. Good.

00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,973

{\an8}Don't waste

my freezer space.

00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:48,353

{\an8}And don't fucking

blindside me with small talk!

00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,271

{\an8}Phew!

I think I'm in the clear.

00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,649

{\an8}As long as

I eat those dumplings.

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,692

{\an8}Are you...

smelling my shirts?

00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:55,735

{\an8}What?

No.

00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,861

{\an8}In a few dimensions,

00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,696

{\an8}Rick gives Beth

00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,281

{\an8}a spatially-dilated

walk-in closet.

00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,992

{\an8}Heh.

Beth is always asking for that.

00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,495

{\an8}Yeah, you guys are in the same

dimensional neighborhood.

00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,205

{\an8}And you can't bend reality

as often as Rick

00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,207

{\an8}without the occasional--

00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,708

{\an8}Bingo.

00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,835

{\an8}And-- And--

And what does that lead to?

00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,797

{\an8}Buddy, a guy like us

can hike the whole multiverse--

00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:17,340

{\an8}without even

leavin' the house.

00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,008

{\an8}You wanna see?

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,718

{\an8}Do I want to stick my hand

through a wall?

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,680

{\an8}- Uh, not really.

- It's just one stop over.

00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,557

{\an8}C'mon. Quit thinkin' like

a Jerry and live a little.

00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,602

{\an8}Jerry! I'm still angry

at you for talking to me!

00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,312

{\an8}Gah!

00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,815

{\an8}You... You promise

you'll get me home?

00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,608

{\an8}I promise.

00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:45,118

Holy shit,

this is insane.

00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,828

Pretty mind-blowing, huh?

00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,830

We try to mark safe trails

for each other.

00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,999

Upside-down coaster

means it's cool.

00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,085

- Bla bla bla blah!!

- Blah, blahblah!

00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,628

Blah blahblah!

00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,880

In this reality,

all words are "blah."

00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,883

I-I kinda get

what they're saying.

00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,094

- Blah bla BLAH!

- Bla blablah Bla!

00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,388

C'mon. Upstairs bathroom.

One at a time.

00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,723

Uhh...

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,228

Ohhhhh, this is insane,

this is insane.

00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,775

Blah blahblah bla

blah blahblah BLA!!

00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,569

...Blah?

00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:23,449

Blah!

Blah bla blah bla blah!

00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,076

Oh, holy shit,

she saw me!

00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,537

I know!

You did great!

00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,289

That was crazy!

00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,583

Okay, where--

where to next?

00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:36,127

Yes!

Fuck yeah, Eagle Man!

00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,420

Here, get in.

00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,796

Infinite mirror tunnel.

00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,382

Man,

so weird and specific,

00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,092

how do you

find these things?

00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,552

That's the thing

about being a Jerry.

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,680

You got all day to look.

00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,434

Get close, I almost lost

a finger doing this.

00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,395

Ah!

00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,107

It's so cold.

00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,239

Oh, Jesus.

00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,700

Here. This way.

00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,746

- Whoa.

- Mm-hmm.

00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,165

Without the trail,

this family would just be gone.

00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,167

But the road remembers.

00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,337

There's... so many of us.

00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,379

Here.

00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,888

You're one of us now,

Eagle Man.

00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,143

Well, technically it was a piece

of your shirt I stuck up there.

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,271

You still don't get it, buddy.

We're the same.

00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,733

Okay, but how much of the road

is depressing like this place?

00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,568

Not that much,

not that much.

00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:57,333

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:01,963

♪ I would like to

reach out my hand ♪

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:06,467

♪ Oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,262

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:13,683

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:18,437

♪ Well, pick me up

with golden hand ♪

00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,608

♪ And oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,695

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,407

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,075

♪ Well ♪

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,745

♪ Hii would like to hoole

my little ha ♪

00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:38,708

♪ A-wee will ruh, a-we will,

a-wee will craa, a-whe whill ♪

00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,043

Jeeeeerrrrryyyyy!

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,505

Ay, man, you see where

I put the margarita machine?

00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,591

T-The good one,

the-- the science one.

00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,760

You left it

in the shower.

00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:54,307

Boy. I-I might be livin'

a little too anchors-up, Jerry.

00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,474

You--

You want a margarita?

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,978

All good.

00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,231

He has to know

that's not you.

00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,066

Well, if he does,

he doesn't care.

00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,860

Alright,

we gotta get moving,

00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,070

there's a killer view

two stops over.

00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,115

You guys want

a ceviche to go?

00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,787

Wow.

00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,415

And Rick turned the moon

into a disco ball for...

00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,877

- Morty's Winter Formal?

- Beautiful, right?

00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,713

Honestly, Eagle Man, I didn't

think you'd come out this far.

00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,924

- Way to prove me wrong.

- I mean...

00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,009

I'm not actually from

the dimension you found me in.

00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,094

My whole family

jumped together.

00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,555

And when the space version

of my wife showed up,

00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,890

I thought she'd hate me...

00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,975

and she did.

00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,269

But then I turned into a bug

and we all had sex.

00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,773

Eagle Man! God damn.

00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:47,860

I-I-I guess it is all pretty

cool when I say it out loud.

00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,112

Thanks for opening my eyes

to that.

00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,490

I'm just you, brother.

00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,325

Welp, outta suds.

00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,535

And I did promise

to get you home.

00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,412

Thanks for ridin' with me.

00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,499

It's the most fun

I've had in a while.

00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,417

- Wait, one second-- Ooh!

- Whoa!

00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:07,463

Uhp, hold on, heh,

I'm a little drunk.

00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,799

If this dimension's Jerry

was like me,

00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,926

he'd keep a 12-pack

in the bathroom

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,387

for the occasional

shower beer.

00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,973

Eagle Man!

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,102

- These, uh--

- Yeah.

00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,604

These are warm.

00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,025

Shit, shit, shit,

we're cutting it close.

00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,988

Ugh, slow down.

So much liquid in my stomach.

00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,198

I'm not being contrarian,

00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,825

I-I just think it'd be gross

to do that to a cat.

00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,535

Squeamish Morty.

00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,870

I'm not squeamish--

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,497

No, no, no, shit!

00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,124

We missed the connection?

00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,917

What does that mean,

what does that mean?!

00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,336

It's all good, Jerry.

We're fine.

00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,922

Look. Those guys portal into

this Taco-la-Taco every week.

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,716

There's a Gene

we can stay with

00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,676

while we wait--

he's hip to the scene,

00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,678

- even has a few cots in his basement--

- A week from now?!

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,555

I can't stay with some Gene

for a week,

00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,181

Rick will just replace me.

00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,725

No, he won't.

00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:01,934

They won't even notice

you've been gone.

00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,979

That's not a good thing!

Gah.

00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,939

There is one way,

but--

00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,733

Get me home!

00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,194

Okay, but why's it out

in the woods?

00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,196

You wanna get home fast, right?

00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,034

Only way to do

that's through Grand Central.

00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,787

Couple parallel Mortys tried

to pull a keg

00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,290

outta their Bag of Holding,

turned it inside out.

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,753

Now it's kind of a...

toll road.

00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,381

Oh!

00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,924

Hey there. I'm Eagle Man.

00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,426

Got two coming out

at Burlap.

00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,887

Walkie Talkie: Copy that.

00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:42,224

So... were you camping,

or--

00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,352

Get in.

00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,149

Welcome to Grand Central.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,819

It's, uh,

not my favorite place.

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,155

Who are these

bandana guys?

00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,116

Sometimes your family goes on an

adventure and doesn't come back.

00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,202

The dude that

runs this place,

00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,371

he collects Jerrys

that get left behind.

00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,540

Come on.

Boss is ready to see you.

00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,794

- Uh...?

- Play it cool.

00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,670

- Hey, Boss!

- Mooch!

00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,005

- "Mooch"?

- It's my road name.

00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,423

Who's this?

00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,258

Meet Eagle Man.

He's cool.

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,177

I rescued him

from working at the mall.

00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,887

We're just looking

to get on the Tundra Line.

00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,181

Fares are up,

I'm afraid.

00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,599

A Rick patched

that one fridge nexus.

00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,351

We've got surge pricing.

00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,769

Right, no problem.

00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,437

Whoa.

I thought you didn't have a job.

00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,856

He doesn't.

Get this--

00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,984

We all use

the same ATM pin.

00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:38,030

3-8-5-2.

00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,949

That's my ATM pin!

00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,035

Mm-hmm.

The road provides.

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,329

Wait, you steal

from other Jerrys?

00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,914

Maybe.

00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,543

Or maybe poor, silly Jerry was

just careless with his money.

00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,961

Who would believe him

anyway?

00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,421

Hey! That hurts!

00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,131

You pick this guy up

in the sensitive dimension?

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,258

- Search them both.

- Hey, fuck you, pal.

00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:00,636

- Jerry, just relax!

- Well, this guy sucks!

00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,973

Seriously, Mooch.

Where did you pick him up?

00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,933

You mapping new routes

and keepin' 'em to yourself?

00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,935

Take it all.

We just wanna pass through.

00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,395

You don't wanna

mess with me, pal.

00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,313

My Rick

could kick your ass.

00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,941

You little suburbs pussy.

00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,361

You shouldn't need Rick--

Rick should need you.

00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,447

You just need to find

his pressure points.

00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,073

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,158

Take these two back

to this guy's station

00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,076

and blacklist them both.

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,286

Alright, alright! Geez!

00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,745

Hey! Get off of me!

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,497

Hey!

00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,465

No, no, no!

They cut us off!

00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,093

I can still get home, right?

00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,721

Fuck!

00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,601

Goddamnit!

I told you to play it cool!

00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,312

This was all I had, man!

The road was my life!

00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,689

What about my life?

00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,108

I didn't ask for any of this,

you just showed up at my house!

00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,903

Okay, okay, here's my pitch--

uh, we get jobs as dock workers,

00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,696

tell them we're twins

or something,

00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,406

uh, save up for three months

and move to Spain.

00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,867

We'll open a dance studio--

start small,

00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,452

- but eventually--

- I'm not doing any of that!

00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,371

Where even are we?!

00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,915

Morty's high school?

00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:14,376

Yeah. This used to be

my dimension.

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,379

- The shed was my way out.

- Oh, screw this.

00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,632

- Hey! Where are you going?

- To our house!

00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,884

There's gotta be an exit

somewhere!

00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,970

- Bad idea. T-T-There is no house.

- You expect me to trust you?!

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,097

What was I thinking?!

00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,641

That I'd become some sort of

hillbilly road-sage?

00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,684

A cool prospector?

00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,104

My family loves me

and I threw it away-- for this?

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,232

- Stupid, Jerry. Stupid!

- No, wait!

00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,234

I-I left my dimension

because I felt unappreciated

00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:42,196

and by the time I found my way

back, Beth had remarried!

00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,864

- Oh, my God.

- Yeah.

00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,408

This whole time you've

been preaching about freedom

00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,536

and gettin' out there.

00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,704

But you're not brave.

You have to live like this.

00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,207

You're the least cool version

of me I've ever met.

00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,459

You're right, you're right,

I'm a loser.

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,088

Let's just do anything other

than face my family, please?

00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,299

Hello?

Oh, my God, Jerry!

00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,009

And there's two of you!

00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,011

Hi, there,

Paul Fleischman, CPA.

00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,264

- Hi. I'm Jerry.

- It's a pleasure.

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,558

Beth!

Jerry's back!

00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,101

And another one!

00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,686

Come on in.

Can I get you guys some coffee?

00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,980

I'm a tea guy myself.

Earl Grey, little milk.

00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,856

- Dad?

- Oh, my God! -Beth: Jerry?

00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,985

Hi... family.

00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,238

What the fuck is going on?

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:28,033

You walked out on us to dumpster

dive across the multiverse?

00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,035

You resented me!

00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,371

T-The kids didn't respect me,

Rick hates me,

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,957

how long did it take before

you even noticed I was gone?

00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,418

Oh, we noticed, asshole!

Don't put that on us.

00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,962

Yeah, maybe do something

worthy of our respect.

00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,298

- Like not disappearing.

- Good point, Morty.

00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,842

Oh, now Rick has thoughts

on abandonment?

00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,052

I just said "good point."

I'm glad you left.

00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,179

Coming here

was a bad idea.

00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,890

Hey.

Stop disappearing for once!

00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,767

Mooch loves you guys.

00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,477

You're all he talks about

out there.

00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,272

- Morty, you love to eat bugs...

- Sure do!

00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,858

...and Summer,

you hate showering.

00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,569

Not as much anymore, I've

actually been working on it.

00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,029

Aw, honey!

00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:08,949

It's true.

I miss you guys so much.

00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,327

I mean, after wandering around

a bit, I did come back.

00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,453

But Beth had met Paul

00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,997

and you all seemed so happy.

00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,665

We are happy.

00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,375

But that doesn't mean

we hate you.

00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,377

I mean,

we hate you a little bit.

00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,129

Yeah,

P-Paul's pretty cool.

00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,423

I-I don't wanna say we

"won the breakup" but--

00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,718

Guys, don't pile on!

Jerry's trying to apologize!

00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,678

No, I deserve it.

00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,180

I thought you took me

for granted...

00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,890

but it was

the other way around.

00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,767

Rick.

00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,477

Ugh. Here we go.

00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,979

I promised Jerry

I'd get him home.

00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,982

- Is there any way--

- Address?

00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,860

Oh. Uh. Hmm.

00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:48,864

- Is it a number? Or like a lot of letters?

- Uh-oh.

00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:52,618

We say "Parmesan" weird,

like "Parmee-sian."

00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,663

D-Does your portal gun

use keywords?

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,581

We could...

go door-to-door?

00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,500

We cannot go door-to-door.

00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,585

Hey, maybe we--

we just get back on the road?

00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,796

Uh, there's a shed by the high

school, we'll-- we'll show you.

00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,924

If these guys try to kill me in

the shed, I will not hold back.

00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:07,925

- Fair's fair.

- I'll be mean about it.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,551

Mean deaths.

00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,720

- Can you blame me for leaving?

- No, I get it.

00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,264

It was really great

to see you guys.

00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,974

Thanks for taking care of them,

Paul.

00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,519

It's your family, Jerry.

I'm just living in it.

00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,814

Bye, Jer.

See you around.

00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,649

Let's go.

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,110

The only way back

to your reality

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,986

is through Grand Central.

00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,571

Those Bandana Jerrys

will be on the lookout for us.

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,283

I know.

But I've got an idea.

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,246

Leave my reality.

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,332

Oh, hey, guys.

00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,876

Oh! Uh, hi. Jerry.

00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,003

Loving the, uh,

five o'clock shadow.

00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,966

And I love your... bandana.

00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,054

They're onto us!

Run!

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,599

Stop them!

It's Mooch and that other guy!

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,017

Aah! My beans!

00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,477

Where am I going?!

00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,313

Couch! Rick's

"lost remote control" nexus!

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,525

Dive, dive, dive!

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,444

Boss!

We got a problem!

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,739

What the hell?

00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,323

You fucked up now,

Mooch.

00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,908

You should've just stayed

off the road.

00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,660

Damn it!

He knows all the exits.

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,455

This is a dream. This is some

kind of weird hallucination.

00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,039

I-I ate

too many mushrooms.

00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,833

- Excuse me?

- Back to the couch!

00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:34,803

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,015

♪ I would like to

reach out my hand ♪

00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,018

♪ Oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,228

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,190

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:50,110

♪ Well, pick me up

with golden hand ♪

00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,988

♪ And oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,157

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:58,035

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,663

♪ Well, I would like to

hold my little hand ♪

00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,541

♪ And we will run, we will,

we will crawl, we will ♪

00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,920

♪ I would like to

hold my little hand ♪

00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,881

♪ And we will run, we will,

we will crawl ♪

00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,299

Hey!

Not cool, man!

00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,510

I'll never stop chasing you,

Mooch!

00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,761

The road is mine!

00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,429

Shit!

This guy is persistent!

00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,681

He'd probably really thrive

at American Eagle.

00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,558

I-I got an idea.

00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,227

It's risky,

but do you trust me?

00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,563

Hey, I'm you, brother.

00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,732

Hyah!

00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,068

I'm so glad making the mouse big

didn't kill it!

00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,903

It eventually might.

00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,155

It's-- It's-- It's like big

dogs, or Andre The Giant--

00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,491

St-Stop,

the mouse is gonna be okay!

00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,034

Hyah!

00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,869

Those doubling-back

sons of bitches!

00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,788

Oh, oh, B-Boss,

you just missed it.

00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,040

Those guys came by

on a giant mouse.

00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,125

You're fucking useless,

you know that?

00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,504

Ow! T-That-- That cool jacket

changed you, Jerry!

00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,339

You're a mean guy now!

00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,633

A-And you pull me out

of my chairs too much!

00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,885

- Hey!

- Get the golf cart.

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,429

Hey! Aah!

00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,431

Ah! Aah!

00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,809

There they are!

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,645

Quick, come on!

00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,188

I'm gonna kill you,

Mooch!

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,898

And then I'm gonna

fuck your wife!

00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:13,068

Good luck!

She's married!

00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,529

It's Jerrys like you

that make me sick!

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,155

Why can't you

just stay home?!

00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,616

I'm trying!

00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,702

You guys suck!

You're weak!

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:25,330

Not like me, I'm cool!

I'm nothing like you!

00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,749

He's got a gun?!

00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:34,632

No! No!

00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:43,056

Happy trails, bitch.

00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,100

Think those other Jerrys

will be okay?

00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,311

Will we? I think I maybe

just killed a guy.

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,521

You can't think about it.

00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,734

It's the one thing I've learned,

you can't think about it.

00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,821

Well. This is me.

00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,615

Nice place you got here.

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:03,076

Thanks. So,

what are you gonna do now?

00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,078

You could hang out here

for a bit.

00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,289

I-I can always have

Beth buy more cereal.

00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,667

Mm. I've eaten on

someone else's tab long enough.

00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,502

Besides, maybe Boss Jerry's

gone now

00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,297

and the road can open back up.

00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,841

Hell of a trip,

Eagle Man.

00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,677

See you around,

Mooch.

00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,430

What the hell? Guys!

00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,807

I found him!

He was in the bedroom!

00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,684

I-I thought

I checked in here.

00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:28,936

You guys were

looking for me?

00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,646

Okay, good,

you found him.

00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,022

Told you I didn't

compost his ass.

00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,565

God, get blamed

for everything.

00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,108

We were so worried

about you, Jerry.

00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,693

You missed Morty mating

with an octopus.

00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,278

It'll probably

happen again.

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,238

What were you even

doing up here?

00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:44,034

Oh, you know,

just taking some "me" time.

00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,244

Gross!

00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,579

Well, I wasn't jerking off,

if that's what you're implying.

00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,122

Ew, what the fuck?!

00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,749

Who said that?

You just look grody!

00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,794

Yeah, y-you need to get out

more, Dad.

00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,719

- What the fuck was that?

- Uh, nothing.

00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,185

Eh, a guy like you,

might be good for ya.

00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,309

I-I think I saw a yak

out there.

00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,437

If I capture it

and keep it alive,

00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,605

I should be able to drink

its piss for two weeks.

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,315

Probably even three.

00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,567

Hey, Dad,

have you seen the--

00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,444

Oh, God, Jesus!

Come on, Dad!

00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,945

What?

It's the culture of the show!

00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,697

You're supposed

to watch it naked!

00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:06,533

It is the culture of the show, honey.

00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:09,786

Guys!

We all use those couches!

00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,333

Mhm.

You're so right about this guy.

00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,295

Turn it up.

00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:19,797

Did you get any of that?

00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,259

Didn't you guys

wrap all that up?

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,468

You can just say

you don't wanna hang out.

00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:11,928

I don't wanna hang out.

00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,555

What the hell,

who took my kombucha?

00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,223

I threw that out,

it smelled bad.

00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,767

Of course it smelled bad,

it's kombucha.

00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,602

You 'booch,

you lose.

00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,271

Rick, c-can you portal me

to school?

00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,689

- No.

- Gimme that.

00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,190

Hey! Summer!

Summer, give it back!

00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,235

Honey, did you move

the car keys?

00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:31,239

Ahp, nevermind,

they were at the bottom.

00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,575

Jerry:

Well, that is the last time

00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:36,245

I eat full-fat ice cream

after midnight--

00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,539

Um...

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,417

Okay?

00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:45,295

Hey!

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,338

What are you--

00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,882

Hey!

00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:56,264

{\an8}♪

00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,683

Alright, alright,

I yield!

00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,185

Geez, you're fast.

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:02,687

Are you...

a-a clone of me?

00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,856

- Did Rick--

- Don't-- Don't tell Rick.

00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,525

You want me not talkin'?

Then you better start talkin'.

00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,653

Not here.

C'mon, you can buy me lunch.

00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,906

I'm not buying you lunch!

00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,533

What if we call it

"Breakfast 2"?

00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,618

No!

00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:49,734

{\an8}♪

00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,320

{\an8}And you're sure Rick

won't spy on us here?

00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,531

{\an8}Yeah,

he hates the mall.

00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,282

{\an8}It's kinda why

I come here so much.

00:01:56,283 --> 00:02:00,578

{\an8}Or maybe me being here

is why he hates it.

00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,288

{\an8}I've actually been

thinking about getting a job

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,957

{\an8}at American Eagle.

00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,834

{\an8}Oooh, the Eagle Man.

00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:07,168

{\an8}You gonna eat that?

00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,753

{\an8}- Not really.

- Thanks.

00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:12,674

{\an8}Mm.

The road provides.

00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:15,885

{\an8}O-Okay, "the road"?

Who are you?!

00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,637

{\an8}Are-- Are you here

from the future?

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,305

{\an8}A-Are you here to kill me?

00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,099

{\an8}You think I came from the future

to replace a guy

00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,600

{\an8}who loves the mall?

00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,311

{\an8}I'm a... traveler.

From another dimension.

00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,896

{\an8}Oho,

you stole a portal gun?

00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,815

{\an8}What? No, man,

that brings the heat.

00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,151

{\an8}I more... slip through cracks

in the multiverse.

00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,070

{\an8}Your family's cool,

by the way.

00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,282

{\an8}My Morty and Summer

fight way more than yours.

00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,784

{\an8}Well, you don't seem

like a serial killer.

00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,703

{\an8}And I bet I'd know.

00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,913

{\an8}- But you can't stay here.

- No sweat, Eagle Man.

00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,999

{\an8}Just get me back

to your upstairs closet.

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,460

{\an8}'Kay, well,

that is a weird location.

00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,046

{\an8}If you do try to kill me

and take over my life,

00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,923

{\an8}I can scream very loud.

00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,093

{\an8}And you never

get caught doing this?

00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,179

{\an8}Jerrys are basically invisible.

It's our superpower.

00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,723

{\an8}- Nobody sees us--

- Jerry! Get in here!

00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:03,099

{\an8}- Shit! He saw you!

- Oh, God!

00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,309

{\an8}What's all this shit

in the freezer?!

00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,269

{\an8}- Go!

- What?

00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,770

{\an8}Don't make him any

more suspicious, talk to him!

00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:11,858

{\an8}- Uh, uh--

- I'll meet you upstairs!

00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,485

{\an8}Hey, Rick!

00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,613

{\an8}Your frozen dumplings are

still in there, Jerry.

00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:17,989

{\an8}There's limited space

in there, Jerry.

00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,741

{\an8}W-We all live here

together.

00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,159

{\an8}Hey! Hey!

[ Snaps fingers ]

00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,036

{\an8}Look at me

when I'm talking to you.

00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,204

{\an8}You catch that episode of

"Naked And Alone" last night?

00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,206

{\an8}Hey, between you and me?

00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,875

{\an8}I think that guy likes

to drink the yak piss.

00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,419

{\an8}Are-- Are you making

conversation with me?

00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,296

{\an8}Sorry! Sorry.

00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,882

{\an8}I guess I do

watch that TV show.

00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,009

{\an8}And he does seem excited

about the piss.

00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,677

{\an8}He does!

00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,180

{\an8}Okay. Good.

00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,973

{\an8}Don't waste

my freezer space.

00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:48,353

{\an8}And don't fucking

blindside me with small talk!

00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,271

{\an8}Phew!

I think I'm in the clear.

00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,649

{\an8}As long as

I eat those dumplings.

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,692

{\an8}Are you...

smelling my shirts?

00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:55,735

{\an8}What?

No.

00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,861

{\an8}In a few dimensions,

00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,696

{\an8}Rick gives Beth

00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,281

{\an8}a spatially-dilated

walk-in closet.

00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,992

{\an8}Heh.

Beth is always asking for that.

00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,495

{\an8}Yeah, you guys are in the same

dimensional neighborhood.

00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,205

{\an8}And you can't bend reality

as often as Rick

00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,207

{\an8}without the occasional--

00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,708

{\an8}Bingo.

00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,835

{\an8}And-- And--

And what does that lead to?

00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,797

{\an8}Buddy, a guy like us

can hike the whole multiverse--

00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:17,340

{\an8}without even

leavin' the house.

00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,008

{\an8}You wanna see?

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,718

{\an8}Do I want to stick my hand

through a wall?

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,680

{\an8}- Uh, not really.

- It's just one stop over.

00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,557

{\an8}C'mon. Quit thinkin' like

a Jerry and live a little.

00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,602

{\an8}Rick: Jerry! I'm still angry

at you for talking to me!

00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,312

{\an8}Gah!

00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,815

{\an8}You... You promise

you'll get me home?

00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,608

{\an8}I promise.

00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:42,407

{\an8}♪

00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:45,118

Holy shit,

this is insane.

00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,828

Pretty mind-blowing, huh?

00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,830

We try to mark safe trails

for each other.

00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,999

Upside-down coaster

means it's cool.

00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,085

- Bla bla bla blah!!

- Blah, blahblah!

00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,628

Blah blahblah!

00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,880

In this reality,

all words are "blah."

00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,883

I-I kinda get

what they're saying.

00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,094

- Blah bla BLAH!

- Bla blablah Bla!

00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,388

C'mon. Upstairs bathroom.

One at a time.

00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,723

Uhh...

00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,475

[ Rick and Morty

shouting "Blah" ]

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,228

Ohhhhh, this is insane,

this is insane.

00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,439

[ Heartbeat ]

00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,775

Blah blahblah bla

blah blahblah BLA!!

00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,569

...Blah?

00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:23,449

Blah!

Blah bla blah bla blah!

00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,076

Oh, holy shit,

she saw me!

00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,537

I know!

You did great!

00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,289

That was crazy!

00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,583

Okay, where--

where to next?

00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:36,127

Yes!

Fuck yeah, Eagle Man!

00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,420

Here, get in.

00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,796

Infinite mirror tunnel.

00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,382

Man,

so weird and specific,

00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,092

how do you

find these things?

00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,552

That's the thing

about being a Jerry.

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,680

You got all day to look.

00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,434

Get close, I almost lost

a finger doing this.

00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,395

Ah!

00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,107

It's so cold.

00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,239

Oh, Jesus.

00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,700

Here. This way.

00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,746

- Whoa.

- Mm-hmm.

00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,165

Without the trail,

this family would just be gone.

00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,167

But the road remembers.

00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,337

There's... so many of us.

00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,379

Here.

00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:25,301

{\an8}♪

00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,888

You're one of us now,

Eagle Man.

00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,143

Well, technically it was a piece

of your shirt I stuck up there.

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,271

You still don't get it, buddy.

We're the same.

00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,733

Okay, but how much of the road

is depressing like this place?

00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,568

Not that much,

not that much.

00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:49,408

[ Rusted Root's

"Send Me On My Way" plays ]

00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:57,333

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:01,963

♪ I would like to

reach out my hand ♪

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:06,467

♪ Oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,262

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:13,683

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:18,437

♪ Well, pick me up

with golden hand ♪

00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,608

♪ And oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,695

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,407

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,075

♪ Well ♪

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,745

♪ Hii would like to hoole

my little ha ♪

00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:38,708

♪ A-wee will ruh, a-we will,

a-wee will craa, a-whe whill ♪

00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,043

Jeeeeerrrrryyyyy!

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,505

Ay, man, you see where

I put the margarita machine?

00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,591

T-The good one,

the-- the science one.

00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,760

You left it

in the shower.

00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:54,307

Boy. I-I might be livin'

a little too anchors-up, Jerry.

00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,474

You--

You want a margarita?

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,978

All good.

00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,231

He has to know

that's not you.

00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,066

Well, if he does,

he doesn't care.

00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,860

Alright,

we gotta get moving,

00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,070

there's a killer view

two stops over.

00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,115

You guys want

a ceviche to go?

00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,787

Wow.

00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:19,415

And Rick turned the moon

into a disco ball for...

00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,877

- Morty's Winter Formal?

- Beautiful, right?

00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,713

Honestly, Eagle Man, I didn't

think you'd come out this far.

00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,924

- Way to prove me wrong.

- I mean...

00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,009

I'm not actually from

the dimension you found me in.

00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,094

My whole family

jumped together.

00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,555

And when the space version

of my wife showed up,

00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,890

I thought she'd hate me...

00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,975

and she did.

00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,269

But then I turned into a bug

and we all had sex.

00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,773

Eagle Man! God damn.

00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:47,860

I-I-I guess it is all pretty

cool when I say it out loud.

00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,112

Thanks for opening my eyes

to that.

00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,490

I'm just you, brother.

00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,325

Welp, outta suds.

00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,535

And I did promise

to get you home.

00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,412

Thanks for ridin' with me.

00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,499

It's the most fun

I've had in a while.

00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,417

- Wait, one second-- Ooh!

- Whoa!

00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:07,463

Uhp, hold on, heh,

I'm a little drunk.

00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,799

If this dimension's Jerry

was like me,

00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,926

he'd keep a 12-pack

in the bathroom

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,387

for the occasional

shower beer.

00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,973

Eagle Man!

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,102

- These, uh--

- Yeah.

00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,604

These are warm.

00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,025

Shit, shit, shit,

we're cutting it close.

00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,988

Ugh, slow down.

So much liquid in my stomach.

00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,198

I'm not being contrarian,

00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,825

I-I just think it'd be gross

to do that to a cat.

00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,535

Squeamish Morty.

00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,870

I'm not squeamish--

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,497

No, no, no, shit!

00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,124

We missed the connection?

00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,917

What does that mean,

what does that mean?!

00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,336

It's all good, Jerry.

We're fine.

00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,922

Look. Those guys portal into

this Taco-la-Taco every week.

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,716

There's a Gene

we can stay with

00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,676

while we wait--

he's hip to the scene,

00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,678

- even has a few cots in his basement--

- A week from now?!

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,555

I can't stay with some Gene

for a week,

00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,181

Rick will just replace me.

00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,725

No, he won't.

00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:01,934

They won't even notice

you've been gone.

00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,979

That's not a good thing!

Gah.

00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,939

There is one way,

but--

00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,733

Get me home!

00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:12,194

Okay, but why's it out

in the woods?

00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,196

You wanna get home fast, right?

00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,034

Only way to do

that's through Grand Central.

00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,787

Couple parallel Mortys tried

to pull a keg

00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,290

outta their Bag of Holding,

turned it inside out.

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,753

Now it's kind of a...

toll road.

00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,381

Oh!

00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,924

Hey there. I'm Eagle Man.

00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,426

Got two coming out

at Burlap.

00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,887

Walkie Talkie: Copy that.

00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:42,224

So... were you camping,

or--

00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,352

Get in.

00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,149

Welcome to Grand Central.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,819

It's, uh,

not my favorite place.

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,155

Who are these

bandana guys?

00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,116

Sometimes your family goes on an

adventure and doesn't come back.

00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,202

The dude that

runs this place,

00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,371

he collects Jerrys

that get left behind.

00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,540

Come on.

Boss is ready to see you.

00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,794

- Uh...?

- Play it cool.

00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,670

- Hey, Boss!

- Mooch!

00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,005

- "Mooch"?

- It's my road name.

00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,423

Who's this?

00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,258

Meet Eagle Man.

He's cool.

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,177

I rescued him

from working at the mall.

00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,887

We're just looking

to get on the Tundra Line.

00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,181

Fares are up,

I'm afraid.

00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,599

A Rick patched

that one fridge nexus.

00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,351

We've got surge pricing.

00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,769

Right, no problem.

00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,437

Whoa.

I thought you didn't have a job.

00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,856

He doesn't.

Get this--

00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,984

We all use

the same ATM pin.

00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:38,030

3-8-5-2.

00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,949

That's my ATM pin!

00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,035

Mm-hmm.

The road provides.

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,329

Wait, you steal

from other Jerrys?

00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,914

Maybe.

00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,543

Or maybe poor, silly Jerry was

just careless with his money.

00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,961

Who would believe him

anyway?

00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,421

Hey! That hurts!

00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,131

You pick this guy up

in the sensitive dimension?

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,258

- Search them both.

- Hey, fuck you, pal.

00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:00,636

- Jerry, just relax!

- Well, this guy sucks!

00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,973

Seriously, Mooch.

Where did you pick him up?

00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,933

You mapping new routes

and keepin' 'em to yourself?

00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,935

Take it all.

We just wanna pass through.

00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,395

You don't wanna

mess with me, pal.

00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,313

My Rick

could kick your ass.

00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,941

You little suburbs pussy.

00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,361

You shouldn't need Rick--

Rick should need you.

00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,447

You just need to find

his pressure points.

00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,073

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,158

Take these two back

to this guy's station

00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,076

and blacklist them both.

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,286

Alright, alright! Geez!

00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,745

Hey! Get off of me!

00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,497

Hey!

00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:33,669

{\an8}♪

00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,465

No, no, no!

They cut us off!

00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,093

I can still get home, right?

00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,721

Fuck!

00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,601

Goddamnit!

I told you to play it cool!

00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,312

This was all I had, man!

The road was my life!

00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,689

What about my life?

00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,108

I didn't ask for any of this,

you just showed up at my house!

00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,903

Okay, okay, here's my pitch--

uh, we get jobs as dock workers,

00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,696

tell them we're twins

or something,

00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,406

uh, save up for three months

and move to Spain.

00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,867

We'll open a dance studio--

start small,

00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,452

- but eventually--

- I'm not doing any of that!

00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,371

Where even are we?!

00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,915

Morty's high school?

00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:14,376

Yeah. This used to be

my dimension.

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,379

- The shed was my way out.

- Oh, screw this.

00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,632

- Hey! Where are you going?

- To our house!

00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,884

There's gotta be an exit

somewhere!

00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,970

- Bad idea. T-T-There is no house.

- You expect me to trust you?!

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,097

What was I thinking?!

00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,641

That I'd become some sort of

hillbilly road-sage?

00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,684

A cool prospector?

00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,104

My family loves me

and I threw it away-- for this?

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,232

- Stupid, Jerry. Stupid!

- No, wait!

00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,234

I-I left my dimension

because I felt unappreciated

00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:42,196

and by the time I found my way

back, Beth had remarried!

00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,864

- Oh, my God.

- Yeah.

00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,408

This whole time you've

been preaching about freedom

00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,536

and gettin' out there.

00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,704

But you're not brave.

You have to live like this.

00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,207

You're the least cool version

of me I've ever met.

00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,459

You're right, you're right,

I'm a loser.

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,088

Let's just do anything other

than face my family, please?

00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,299

Hello?

Oh, my God, Jerry!

00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,009

And there's two of you!

00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,011

Hi, there,

Paul Fleischman, CPA.

00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,264

- Hi. I'm Jerry.

- It's a pleasure.

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,558

Beth!

Jerry's back!

00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,101

And another one!

00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,686

Come on in.

Can I get you guys some coffee?

00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,980

I'm a tea guy myself.

Earl Grey, little milk.

00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,856

- Morty: Dad?

- Summer: Oh, my God! -Beth: Jerry?

00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,985

Hi... family.

00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,238

Rick:

What the fuck is going on?

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:28,033

You walked out on us to dumpster

dive across the multiverse?

00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,035

You resented me!

00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,371

T-The kids didn't respect me,

Rick hates me,

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,957

how long did it take before

you even noticed I was gone?

00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,418

Oh, we noticed, asshole!

Don't put that on us.

00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,962

Yeah, maybe do something

worthy of our respect.

00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,298

- Like not disappearing.

- Good point, Morty.

00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,842

Oh, now Rick has thoughts

on abandonment?

00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,052

I just said "good point."

I'm glad you left.

00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,179

Coming here

was a bad idea.

00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,890

Hey.

Stop disappearing for once!

00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,767

Mooch loves you guys.

00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,477

You're all he talks about

out there.

00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,272

- Morty, you love to eat bugs...

- Sure do!

00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,858

...and Summer,

you hate showering.

00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,569

Not as much anymore, I've

actually been working on it.

00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,029

Aw, honey!

00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:08,949

It's true.

I miss you guys so much.

00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,327

I mean, after wandering around

a bit, I did come back.

00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,453

But Beth had met Paul

00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,997

and you all seemed so happy.

00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,665

We are happy.

00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,375

But that doesn't mean

we hate you.

00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,377

I mean,

we hate you a little bit.

00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,129

Yeah,

P-Paul's pretty cool.

00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,423

I-I don't wanna say we

"won the breakup" but--

00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,718

Guys, don't pile on!

Jerry's trying to apologize!

00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,678

No, I deserve it.

00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,180

I thought you took me

for granted...

00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,890

but it was

the other way around.

00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,767

[ Sighs ] Rick.

00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,477

Ugh. Here we go.

00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,979

I promised Jerry

I'd get him home.

00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,982

- Is there any way--

- Address?

00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,860

Oh. Uh. Hmm.

00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:48,864

- Is it a number? Or like a lot of letters?

- Uh-oh.

00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:52,618

We say "Parmesan" weird,

like "Parmee-sian."

00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,663

D-Does your portal gun

use keywords?

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,581

We could...

go door-to-door?

00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,500

We cannot go door-to-door.

00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:01,585

Hey, maybe we--

we just get back on the road?

00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,796

Uh, there's a shed by the high

school, we'll-- we'll show you.

00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,924

If these guys try to kill me in

the shed, I will not hold back.

00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:07,925

- Fair's fair.

- I'll be mean about it.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,551

Mean deaths.

00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,720

- Can you blame me for leaving?

- No, I get it.

00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,264

It was really great

to see you guys.

00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,974

Thanks for taking care of them,

Paul.

00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,519

It's your family, Jerry.

I'm just living in it.

00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,814

Bye, Jer.

See you around.

00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,649

Let's go.

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,110

The only way back

to your reality

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,986

is through Grand Central.

00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,571

Those Bandana Jerrys

will be on the lookout for us.

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,283

I know.

But I've got an idea.

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,246

Leave my reality.

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,332

Oh, hey, guys.

00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,876

Oh! Uh, hi. Jerry.

00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,003

Loving the, uh,

five o'clock shadow.

00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,966

And I love your... bandana.

00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:52,261

{\an8}♪

00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,054

They're onto us!

Run!

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,599

Stop them!

It's Mooch and that other guy!

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,017

Aah! My beans!

00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,477

Where am I going?!

00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,313

Couch! Rick's

"lost remote control" nexus!

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,525

Dive, dive, dive!

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,444

Boss!

We got a problem!

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,739

What the hell?

00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,323

You fucked up now,

Mooch.

00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,908

You should've just stayed

off the road.

00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,660

Damn it!

He knows all the exits.

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,455

This is a dream. This is some

kind of weird hallucination.

00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,039

I-I ate

too many mushrooms.

00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,833

- Excuse me?

- Back to the couch!

00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:28,547

[ Rusted Root's

"Send Me On My Way" plays ]

00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:34,803

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,015

♪ I would like to

reach out my hand ♪

00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,018

♪ Oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,228

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,190

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:50,110

♪ Well, pick me up

with golden hand ♪

00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,988

♪ And oombayseeyou,

oombaytellyou to run ♪

00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,157

♪ On my way, on my way ♪

00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:58,035

♪ Omabadee, seemoobadeeyah ♪

00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,663

♪ Well, I would like to

hold my little hand ♪

00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,541

♪ And we will run, we will,

we will crawl, we will ♪

00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,920

♪ I would like to

hold my little hand ♪

00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,881

♪ And we will run, we will,

we will crawl ♪

00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,299

Hey!

Not cool, man!

00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,510

I'll never stop chasing you,

Mooch!

00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,761

The road is mine!

00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,429

Shit!

This guy is persistent!

00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,681

He'd probably really thrive

at American Eagle.

00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,558

I-I got an idea.

00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,227

It's risky,

but do you trust me?

00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,563

Hey, I'm you, brother.

00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,732

- Hyah!

- [ Mouse roars ]

00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,068

I'm so glad making the mouse big

didn't kill it!

00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,903

It eventually might.

00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,155

It's-- It's-- It's like big

dogs, or Andre The Giant--

00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,491

St-Stop,

the mouse is gonna be okay!

00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,034

Hyah!

00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,869

Those doubling-back

sons of bitches!

00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,788

Oh, oh, B-Boss,

you just missed it.

00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,040

Those guys came by

on a giant mouse.

00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,125

You're fucking useless,

you know that?

00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,504

Ow! T-That-- That cool jacket

changed you, Jerry!

00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,339

You're a mean guy now!

00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,633

A-And you pull me out

of my chairs too much!

00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,885

- Hey!

- Get the golf cart.

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,429

Hey! Aah!

00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,431

Ah! Aah!

00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,641

[ Horn honks ]

00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,809

There they are!

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,645

Quick, come on!

00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,188

I'm gonna kill you,

Mooch!

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,898

And then I'm gonna

fuck your wife!

00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:13,068

Good luck!

She's married!

00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,529

It's Jerrys like you

that make me sick!

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,155

Why can't you

just stay home?!

00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,616

I'm trying!

00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,702

You guys suck!

You're weak!

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:25,330

Not like me, I'm cool!

I'm nothing like you!

00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,749

He's got a gun?!

00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:34,632

No! No!

00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:43,056

Happy trails, bitch.

00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,100

Think those other Jerrys

will be okay?

00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,311

Will we? I think I maybe

just killed a guy.

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,521

You can't think about it.

00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,734

It's the one thing I've learned,

you can't think about it.

00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,821

Well. This is me.

00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,615

Nice place you got here.

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:03,076

Thanks. So,

what are you gonna do now?

00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,078

You could hang out here

for a bit.

00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,289

I-I can always have

Beth buy more cereal.

00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,667

Mm. I've eaten on

someone else's tab long enough.

00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,502

Besides, maybe Boss Jerry's

gone now

00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,297

and the road can open back up.

00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,841

Hell of a trip,

Eagle Man.

00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,677

See you around,

Mooch.

00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:21,845

[ Portal warbles ]

00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,430

What the hell? Guys!

00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,807

I found him!

He was in the bedroom!

00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,684

I-I thought

I checked in here.

00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:28,936

You guys were

looking for me?

00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,646

Okay, good,

you found him.

00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,022

Told you I didn't

compost his ass.

00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,565

God, get blamed

for everything.

00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,108

We were so worried

about you, Jerry.

00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,693

You missed Morty mating

with an octopus.

00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,278

It'll probably

happen again.

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,238

What were you even

doing up here?

00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:44,034

Oh, you know,

just taking some "me" time.

00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,244

Gross!

00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,579

Well, I wasn't jerking off,

if that's what you're implying.

00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,122

Ew, what the fuck?!

00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,749

Who said that?

You just look grody!

00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,794

Yeah, y-you need to get out

more, Dad.

00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,719

- What the fuck was that?

- Uh, nothing.

00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,185

Eh, a guy like you,

might be good for ya.

00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:49,266

{\an8}♪

00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,309

I-I think I saw a yak

out there.

00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,437

If I capture it

and keep it alive,

00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,605

I should be able to drink

its piss for two weeks.

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,315

Probably even three.

00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,567

Hey, Dad,

have you seen the--

00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,444

Oh, God, Jesus!

Come on, Dad!

00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,945

What?

It's the culture of the show!

00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,697

You're supposed

to watch it naked!

00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:06,533

It is the culture of the show, honey.

00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:09,786

Guys!

We all use those couches!

00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:12,372

[ Slurping ]

00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,333

Mhm.

You're so right about this guy.

00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,295

Turn it up.

00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:19,797

Did you get any of that?

00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:10,710

Вы с этим не покончили?

Так и скажи, что не хочешь тусить.

00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,033

Я не хочу с тобой тусить.

00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:13,600

Что за фигня? Где моя комбуча?

00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,140

Я её выбросил, она воняла.

00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,770

Конечно, она воняла, это же комбуча.

00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,458

Кто воняет, тот лох.

00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:21,400

Рик, запорталишь меня в школу?

00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:22,570

- Нет.

- Дай сюда.

00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:24,250

Эй, Саммер! Саммер, отдай.

00:00:24,430 --> 00:00:26,370

Милый, ты переложил ключи?

00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,870

Забей, они на дне сумки.

00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:36,130

Что ж, я больше никогда не буду

есть не обезжиренное мороженое после полуночи...

00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:41,410

Ну ладно...

00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:43,230

Эй!

00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,090

Да что ты...

00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:47,330

ХЛОПЬЯ «ХРУСТЯЩИЙ ОРЕХ-ИЗЮМ»

00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:48,653

Эй!

00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,730

Ну ладно, хорошо, я сдаюсь.

00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:00,310

Офигеть ты быстрый.

00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:03,370

Ты что, типа мой клон? Это Рик?..

00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:04,310

Не говори Рику!

00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:07,330

Хочешь, чтобы я не говорил? Тогда лучше говори сам.

00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:10,700

Только не здесь. Пойдём, угостишь меня обедом.

00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,510

Не буду я тебя угощать.

00:01:13,070 --> 00:01:15,750

А если назвать это вторым завтраком?

00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:16,590

Нет!

00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:48,588

РИК И МОРТИ

00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,850

ТЦ «МОРСКИЕ БРАТЬЯ»

00:01:49,970 --> 00:01:52,620

Ты уверен, что Рик не станет за нами следить?

00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,780

Да, он ненавидит торговые центры.

00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,580

Поэтому я сюда и прихожу.

00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,170

А может, он как раз из-за меня их и ненавидит.

00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:03,790

Я вообще думал

устроиться работать в American Eagle.

00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:06,210

Ого, так ты Иглмен.

00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:08,520

- Ты доедать будешь?

- Да вряд ли.

00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,290

Спасибо.

00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,570

Дорога всегда накормит.

00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:14,375

Так, всё. Дорога?

00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,060

И кто ты вообще?

00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,890

Ты типа прибыл сюда из будущего?

00:02:17,910 --> 00:02:19,390

Ты хочешь меня убить?

00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:22,730

Думаешь, я прибыл,

чтобы занять место парня, обожающего ТЦ?

00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:25,310

Я путешественник. Из другого измерения.

00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:26,930

Ты украл портальную пушку?

00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:29,030

Что? Нет, от неё одни проблемы.

00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,160

Я скорее пролезаю

сквозь трещины мультивселенной.

00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,240

Кстати, у тебя крутая семья.

00:02:34,260 --> 00:02:36,910

Мои Морти и Саммер гораздо больше ругаются.

00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:42,470

Ну, на серийного убийцу ты не похож.

Уверен, я бы это понял. Но оставаться тебе нельзя.

00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:44,080

Не вопрос, Иглмен.

00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,170

Просто отведи меня к шкафу наверху.

00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,270

Так, какое-то странное место.

00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:53,890

Если захочешь убить меня и занять моё место,

имей в виду: я очень громко кричу.

00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:57,260

И тебя ни разу не спалили за этим?

00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,310

Все Джерри почти что невидимки.

Это наша суперсила.

00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,930

- Нас не видят...

- Джерри, иди сюда!

00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,740

- Чёрт!

- Боже.

00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,600

- Он увидел.

- Что за фигня в морозилке?

00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,590

- Иди.

- Что?

00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:07,980

Не вызывай подозрений, поговори с ним.

00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,390

Я жду тебя наверху.

00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:14,780

Привет, Рик!

00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,870

Твои пельмени всё ещё здесь.

00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:19,950

А места мало, Джерри. Мы все живём в одном доме.

00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,350

Эй, эй! На меня смотри, когда я говорю!

00:03:22,390 --> 00:03:25,785

Ты вчера посмотрел серию «Голых и одиноких»?

00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:29,335

И, чисто между нами, кажется,

этот парень реально любит мочу яка.

00:03:29,430 --> 00:03:31,710

Ты что, пытаешься со мной поговорить?

00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,150

Прости. Прости.

00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:36,090

Хотя я ведь и правда смотрю это шоу.

00:03:36,110 --> 00:03:38,390

И парень реально в восторге от мочи.

00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:39,530

Скажи?

00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,730

Ладно. Всё.

00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:44,140

Больше не занимай морозилку.

00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:48,050

И не пытайся, блин, отвлечь меня разговорчиками!

00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,610

Фух. Кажется, пронесло.

00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,650

Главное съесть пельмешки.

00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,950

Ты что, нюхаешь мои рубашки?

00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:56,091

Что? Нет.

00:03:56,270 --> 00:04:00,620

В паре измерений Рик сделал для Бет

расширяющийся в пространстве шкаф.

00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,223

Да, Бет реально часто об этом просит.

00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,059

Да, вы находитесь

в одном пространственном районе.

00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,310

А если меняешь реальность

так часто, как Рик, иногда...

00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:10,960

Бинго.

00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,050

Ну так и куда он ведёт?

00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:14,600

Дружище, парень вроде нас

00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,680

может обойти всю мультивселенную

даже не выходя из дома.

00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,180

Тебе показать?

00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,116

Хочу ли я засунуть руку в стену?

00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,570

- Нет, не особо.

- Тут одна остановка.

00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:26,640

Идём. Не будь таким Джерри, поживи немного.

00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,510

Джерри! Я всё ещё зол из-за нашего разговора!

00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:34,230

Но ты обещаешь, что вернёшь меня домой?

00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,860

Даю слово.

00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,500

Охренеть, просто с ума сойти.

00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,140

Голову сносит, скажи?

00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,910

Мы отмечаем безопасные пути друг для друга.

Подставка вверх ногами значит «всё хорошо».

00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:52,810

Бла, бла, бла!

00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,230

Бла! Бла, бла!

00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:55,770

Бла, бла, бла! Бла, бла, бла!

00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:58,090

В этой реальности всё слова — это «бла».

00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:01,090

Я немного понимаю, что они говорят.

00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,860

- Бла, бла, бла!

- Бла, бла, бла!

00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:03,510

Бла, бла, бла!

00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:05,720

Идём, в уборную. По одному.

00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,490

Бла! Бла, бла, бла, бла!

00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,560

- Бла, бла!

- Бла!

00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,560

Нет, это безумие. Это безумие.

00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:18,240

Бла! Бла-бла-бла-бла!..

00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:19,860

Бла?

00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,950

Бла-бла! Бла! Бла-бла...

00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,450

Охренеть, она меня видела.

00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,530

Я знаю. И ты справился.

00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:31,630

Это отрыв башки.

00:05:31,650 --> 00:05:33,670

Ну что? Куда идём дальше?

00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:36,210

Да! Офигенно, Иглмен!

00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:39,050

Вот, залезай. Бесконечно-зеркальный туннель.

00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,720

Блин. Это так странно и специфично.

00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,260

Как ты всё это находишь?

00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,670

Это особенность Джерри.

У нас куча времени, чтобы искать.

00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:50,940

Держись рядом, я так раз чуть пальца не лишился.

00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,950

Как же здесь холодно.

00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,620

Ох, господи.

00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,160

Идём. За мной.

00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:10,630

Ого.

00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:14,847

Без пути об этой семье уже бы забыли.

00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,550

Но дорога всё помнит.

00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:18,930

Как же нас всё-таки много.

00:06:19,690 --> 00:06:20,330

Возьми.

00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:28,310

Теперь ты один из нас, Иглмен.

00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:34,310

Ну, справедливости ради,

это был кусок твоей футболки.

00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:37,440

Ты до сих не понял, дружище. Мы одинаковые.

00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:40,990

Ладно. А на дороге везде так же грустно, как здесь?

00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:42,650

Да не особо, не особо.

00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:53,180

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:57,310

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:02,170

Я хотел бы протянуть руку.

00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:06,800

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал тебе бежать.

00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,430

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:11,150

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал.

00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:18,570

Что ж, забери меня золотою рукой.

00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:22,900

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал тебе бежать.

00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,990

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,910

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал.

00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:35,130

Что ж, я бы хотел за руку тебя взять!

00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:39,170

Мы будем бежать, да. Мы будем ползти, да.

00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:41,250

Джерри!

00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,550

Слушай, ты видел,

куда я сунул аппарат для «Маргариты»?

00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,890

Нормальный, научный который.

00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:48,610

Ты оставил его в душе!

00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:53,430

Блин, мне по жизни явно не хватает якоря, Джерри.

00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,730

- Ты будешь «Маргариту»?

- Не надо.

00:08:00,670 --> 00:08:02,400

Он точно понял, что это не ты.

00:08:02,420 --> 00:08:04,280

Даже если так, ему плевать.

00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:08,280

Ладно, нам уже пора.

Тут в двух остановках офигенное место.

00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,130

Сделать вам севиче с собой?

00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:16,643

Ого.

00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:20,890

Значит, Рик превратил Луну в диско-шар

чисто ради зимних танцев Морти?

00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:22,030

Красота, да?

00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:26,010

Если честно, Иглмен,

не думал, что ты зайдёшь так далеко.

00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,310

Но ты меня уделал.

00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:30,260

Ну, я не из того измерения, где ты меня нашёл.

00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,950

Мы всей семьёй в него прыгнули.

00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:36,120

А когда появилась космическая версия

моей жены, я думал, она меня ненавидит.

00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,310

И так оно и было.

00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,490

Но потом я стал жуком и мы занялись сексом.

00:08:40,590 --> 00:08:43,150

Иглмен! Охренеть.

00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,590

Когда я говорю об этом вслух,

звучит довольно круто.

00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:50,310

Спасибо, что открыл мне глаза.

00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,570

Я — это ты, брат.

00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:54,490

Ну, пиво закончилось.

00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,210

Плюс я обещал вернуть тебя домой.

00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:58,390

Спасибо, что прошёлся со мной.

00:08:58,510 --> 00:09:00,970

Я уже давно так не веселился.

00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:02,690

Стой, минутку.

00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,210

Ничего себе, я немного пьян.

00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,090

Если Джерри из этого измерения как я,

00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:14,770

он точно хранит ящичек в ванной,

чтобы иногда выпить пива в душе.

00:09:14,790 --> 00:09:16,090

Иглмен!

00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:21,520

- Оно...

- Да.

00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,610

Оно тёплое.

00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:28,280

Чёрт, чёрт, чёрт, времени почти нет!

00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:31,450

Притормози! У меня полный живот пива!

00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:36,120

Я с тобой не спорю,

просто делать это с котом было бы мерзко.

00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,350

- Опять ты ноешь.

- Да не ною.

00:09:40,590 --> 00:09:41,830

Нет, нет, нет, сука!

00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:45,050

Мы пропустили стыковку?

Что это значит? Что это значит?

00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:47,270

Всё нормально, Джерри, всё хорошо.

00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:50,490

Они приходят в этот «Тако-ла-Тако» каждую неделю.

00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:54,866

Можем зависнуть у местного Джина.

Он не против, даже раскладушки в подвале держит.

00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:55,730

Целую неделю?

00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:58,303

Я не буду неделю жить у какого-то Джина!

00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,410

Рик меня заменит.

00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:02,190

Да не заменит. Они даже не заметят, что тебя нет.

00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,470

Это тоже плохо.

00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:08,610

- Есть один выход, но...

- Верни меня домой!

00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:10,506

Ладно...

00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,410

Но почему он в лесу?

00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:14,050

Ты же хочешь скорее домой?

00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:16,830

Единственный путь — через Центральную станцию.

00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,932

Пара Морти пытались вытащить кегу

из магической сумки хранения

00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,310

и вывернули её наизнанку.

00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,470

Теперь тут платная дорога.

00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:34,220

Здорово. Я Иглмен.

00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,850

- Двое вылезли из мешка.

- Принято.

00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:41,950

Так ты тут отдыхаешь или...

00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:43,372

Садитесь.

00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:50,070

Это Центральная станция.

00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,190

Скажем так, не самое лучшее место.

00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:56,130

А кто эти парни в банданах?

00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:59,370

Иногда твоя семья

не возвращается из приключений.

00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:03,410

Тип, который тут заправляет,

собирает Джерри, которых бросили.

00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,570

Идём. Босс готов вас принять.

00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:09,410

Не пались.

00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:11,890

- Привет, босс.

- Слюнтяй!

00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:13,450

- Слюнтяй?

- Моё прозвище.

00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:14,470

А это кто?

00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:16,470

Знакомься: Иглмен, он крутой.

00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:20,180

Я спас его из торгового центра.

Мы хотим вернуться на линию тундры.

00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,990

Я боюсь, билеты подорожали.

00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:25,570

Рик пропатчил узел в морозилке.

Пришлось поднять цены.

00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:26,910

Да, без проблем.

00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:28,950

Ого, я думал, ты безработный.

00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:30,110

Так и есть.

00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:33,570

Но прикинь, у нас у всех одинаковый пин-код.

00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:38,280

Три, восемь, пять, два.

00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:40,240

Это и мой пин-код тоже!

00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,290

Дорога всегда кормит.

00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:45,750

Стой, так ты крадёшь у других Джерри?

00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:46,490

Возможно.

00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:50,610

А может, дурашка Джерри

просто не умеет обращаться с деньгами.

00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,410

- Ему всё равно не поверят.

- Эй! Больно же!

00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,850

Ты его нашёл в измерении нытиков?

00:11:55,930 --> 00:11:58,300

- Обыскать обоих.

- Эй, пошёл ты в жопу.

00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,690

- Джерри, успокойся.

- Этот тип — отстой!

00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:03,310

Серьёзно, Слюнтяй, где ты его взял?

00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,690

Ищешь новые маршруты и не сообщаешь?

00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:07,690

Забирай. Нам просто нужно пройти.

00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:11,190

Со мной лучше не связываться.

Мой Рик надерёт тебе зад.

00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,690

Мелкий пригородный ссыкун.

00:12:13,710 --> 00:12:16,830

Не ты должен нуждаться в Рике,

Рик должен нуждаться в тебе.

00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:19,320

Надо только найти его болевые точки.

00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:23,470

Вышвырни их на его станции

и обоих в чёрный список.

00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:24,930

Ладно, ладно. Блин.

00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,750

Эй! Отвали от меня!

00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:30,188

Эй!

00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,510

Нет, нет, нет! Они нас отрезали!

00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:41,010

Но я же могу вернуться домой? Да?

00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:42,720

Капец!

00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:48,530

Твою мать. Я же просил не палиться.

00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:51,380

Это всё, что у меня было. Дорога — это моя жизнь.

00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,730

А как же моя жизнь?

00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:55,850

Я об этом не просил, ты просто явился ко мне домой.

00:12:55,930 --> 00:12:56,600

Ладно, ладно.

00:12:56,620 --> 00:13:00,360

План такой: устроимся работать

на пристань, скажем, что мы близнецы.

00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,470

Покопим месяца три и рванём в Испанию.

00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,530

Откроем танцевальную студию.

Сперва небольшую, но потом...

00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,170

Я не согласен! И где мы вообще?

00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:10,510

Это школа Морти?

00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:11,669

Да.

00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:14,130

Когда-то это было моё измерение.

00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:17,110

- А кладовая была выходом.

- Ой, да пошло оно всё.

00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:19,450

- Стой, ты куда?

- К нам домой.

00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,950

Там должен быть выход.

00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,010

Плохая мысль. Дома больше нет.

00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:24,870

Думаешь, я тебе поверю?

00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:25,870

И чем я думал?

00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:28,470

Хотел стать каким-то хиппи-путешественником?

00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,170

Крутым старателем?

00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,119

Моя семья любит меня, а я их бросил.

00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,050

Ради этого?

00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:35,480

- Тупой Джерри.

- Нет, стой.

00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:35,850

Тупой.

00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:40,930

Я ушёл, потому что меня не ценили,

а когда нашёл дорогу обратно, Бет уже вышла замуж.

00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,850

- Охренеть.

- Да.

00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:47,530

Всё это время ты втирал

про свободу и что надо выходить в мир.

00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:50,510

Но ты не смельчак. Ты вынужден так жить.

00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:52,890

Ты — самая лоховская версия меня.

00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:55,170

Ты прав, ты прав. Я неудачник.

00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,630

Только давай не пойдём к моей семье?

00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,410

Кто тут? Боже мой, Джерри!

00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,950

И вас ещё и двое!

00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,950

Привет, я Пол Флейшман.

00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,370

- Привет. А я Джерри.

- Очень приятно.

00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,430

Бет, Джерри вернулся.

00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:11,690

И с ним ещё один!

00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:15,670

Проходите. Хотите кофе?

Я сам-то чай пью. Earl Grey с молоком.

00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:16,940

- Папа?

- Боже мой.

00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:17,710

Джерри?

00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:20,090

Привет, семья.

00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:23,590

Что за фигня там происходит?

00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:28,010

Ты ушёл от нас,

чтобы слоняться бомжом по мультивселенной?

00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:29,570

Вы меня ненавидели.

00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:34,940

Дети меня не уважали, Рик шпынял.

Как скоро вы вообще заметили, что меня нет?

00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,320

Мы заметили, козёл. Нас винить не надо.

00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,077

Мог бы сделать что-то, достойное уважения.

00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,200

- Типа не уходить.

- Справедливо, Морти.

00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:44,590

Рик теперь против того, чтобы уходить?

00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:46,990

Я сказал «справедливо». Я-то рад, что ты ушёл.

00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:49,120

Зря мы вообще сюда пришли.

00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,870

Эй. Хотя бы раз попробуй остаться.

00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,510

Слюнтяй всех вас любит.

00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:55,270

Только про вас и говорит.

00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,190

Морти, ты любишь есть жуков.

00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:57,950

Ещё как.

00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,390

А ты, Саммер, ненавидишь мыться.

00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:02,670

Уже не очень, я над этим работала.

00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:03,890

Ох, милая.

00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,492

Это правда.

00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,370

Я очень по вам скучаю.

00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:11,310

На самом деле, я немного побродил и вернулся.

00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:15,090

Но Бет уже встретила Пола,

и вы казались такими счастливыми.

00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:18,420

Мы и правда счастливы.

Но это не значит, что тебя ненавидят.

00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,030

Ну, разве что немного.

00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:20,929

Да, и Пол крутой.

00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:24,130

Не хочу говорить,

что мы «выиграли» в этом расставании, но...

00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,740

Ребята, не наседайте.

Джерри пытается извиниться.

00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,130

Нет, я это заслужил.

00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:32,710

Я думал, вы воспринимаете

меня как должное, а было наоборот.

00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:36,070

- Рик.

- Фу, началось.

00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,650

Я обещал Джерри, что верну его домой.

00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,090

- Ты мог бы как-нибудь...

- Адрес?

00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:48,360

Ему нужен типа номер? Или это какой-то набор букв?

00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:48,951

Ой-ёй.

00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,307

У нас пармезан странного выговаривают,

00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,210

типа «пармезиан».

00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:54,570

В пушке есть поиск по ключевым словам?

00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:57,650

Мы могли бы проверить одно за другим...

00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:59,130

Ни фига не могли бы.

00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,930

Может, мы вернёмся на дорогу?

00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:03,310

В школе есть кладовая, мы тебе покажем.

00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:06,510

Если они попробуют меня убить,

я сдерживаться не буду.

00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:07,340

Логично.

00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,570

И я серьёзно. Им придёт конец.

00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,750

- И что, зря я ушёл?

- Нет, я понимаю.

00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:15,960

Было так здорово повидаться.

Спасибо, что заботишься о них, Пол.

00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:18,590

Это твоя семья, Джерри. Я просто в ней живу.

00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,590

Пока, Джер. Ещё увидимся.

00:16:21,820 --> 00:16:22,790

Погнали.

00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:26,980

Вернуть тебя можно

только через Центральную станцию.

00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,640

И Джерри в банданах будут нас искать.

00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:32,430

Я знаю. Но у меня есть одна идея.

00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,170

Вон из моей реальности!

00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:38,650

ЧЁРНЫЙ СПИСОК

00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,350

Ух ты, привет.

00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:42,900

Привет, Джерри.

00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,990

Прикольная у тебя щетина.

00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:48,630

А у тебя прикольная бандана.

00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:53,810

Они просекли! Бежим!

00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:57,150

Остановите их! Это Слюнтяй и тот второй!

00:16:57,690 --> 00:17:00,030

- Моя фасоль!

- Куда мне нужно?

00:17:00,070 --> 00:17:02,170

В диван! В узел потерянного пульта.

00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,530

Ныряй, ныряй, ныряй.

00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:08,550

Босс, у нас проблема.

00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:10,750

Какого хрена?

00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,270

Ты облажался, Слюнтяй.

00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:14,930

Зря ты вернулся на дорогу.

00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,770

Сука. Он знает все выходы.

00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:19,560

Это всё сон. Какая-то странная галлюцинация.

00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,080

- Я просто грибов переела.

- Что, прости?

00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,010

Назад в диван!

00:17:28,950 --> 00:17:31,340

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,310

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,830

Я хотел бы протянуть руку.

00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:41,050

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал тебе бежать.

00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:43,170

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:44,610

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал.

00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:49,930

Что ж, забери меня золотою рукой.

00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,010

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал тебе бежать.

00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,140

Я в дороге, я в дороге.

00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,570

Я бы увидел, я бы сказал.

00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,910

Что ж, я бы хотел за руку тебя взять!

00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,730

Мы будем бежать, да. Мы будем ползти, да.

00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:07,950

Я бы хотел за руку тебя взять!

00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:10,750

И мы будем бежать, да. Мы будем ползти, да.

00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:12,470

Эй! Не круто, чел!

00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:14,620

Ты от меня не отделаешься, Слюнтяй!

00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,830

Дорога моя!

00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:17,370

Чёрт, какой настойчивый.

00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:19,750

Вот у него бы в American Eagle получилось.

00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:21,510

У меня есть идея.

00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,570

Это опасно. Ты мне доверяешь?

00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:25,470

Эй, я — это ты, брат.

00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:31,290

Хорошо, что увеличение не убило мышь.

00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,720

Ну, ещё не вечер.

00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:35,140

Это как с большими собаками и Андре Гигантом...

00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,600

Хватит! С мышью всё будет хорошо.

00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:38,370

Хья!

00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,900

Двуличные сукины дети!

00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,890

О, босс, ты всё пропустил.

Они ускакали на огромной мыши.

00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:47,290

Ты, сука, бесполезный. Ты в курсе?

00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:50,610

Ай! Эта клёвая куртка тебя изменила, Джерри.

00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:54,290

Ты стал неприятным. И вечно мешаешь мне сидеть.

00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:56,410

- Эй!

- Подгони гольф-кар!

00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:58,590

Эй!

00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:03,710

Вот они!

00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,030

Скорей. За мной.

00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,430

Я убью тебя, Слюнтяй.

00:19:08,510 --> 00:19:10,190

А потом трахну твою жену!

00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,650

Удачи! Она уже замужем!

00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,640

От таких Джерри, как ты, меня тошнит.

00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:17,350

Почему ты не остался дома?

00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:18,910

Да я пытаюсь!

00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,810

Вы оба отстой, вы слабаки.

00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:24,990

Не то что я, я крутой. Я не такой, как вы!

00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,670

У него пистолет?

00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:32,210

Нет! Нет!

00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:42,210

Удачной дороги, сука.

00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,130

Думаешь, остальные Джерри в порядке?

00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,460

А мы? Я сейчас человека убил.

00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,030

Нельзя об этом думать.

00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:53,010

Если я чему и научился,

так это тому, что думать нельзя.

00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,890

Но вот. Я дома.

00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,270

Хороший у тебя дом.

00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:03,150

Спасибо. А ты что будешь делать?

00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:07,510

Можешь пока остаться здесь.

Я попрошу Бет купить побольше хлопьев.

00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,570

Я слишком долго ел за чужой счёт.

00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:14,370

Тем более, раз Босса Джерри больше нет,

дорога снова откроется.

00:20:16,390 --> 00:20:17,910

Было круто, Иглмен.

00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,550

Увидимся, Слюнтяй.

00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,197

Какого хрена?

00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:26,110

Народ! Я его нашла! Он сидел в спальне!

00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:29,310

- Я же вроде тут искал.

- Вы что, меня искали?

00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:30,610

Отлично, нашёлся.

00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,710

Сказал же, что не компостировал его.

00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:35,330

- Вечно я виноват.

- Мы за тебя волновались.

00:20:35,390 --> 00:20:37,050

Морти спарился с осьминогом.

00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:38,550

Вряд ли в последний раз.

00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,220

И чем ты тут занимался?

00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,270

Да знаете, просто уделил немного времени себе.

00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:45,170

Гадость!

00:20:45,270 --> 00:20:47,690

Я не дрочил, если вы на это намекаете!

00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:50,890

Какого хрена? Кто это говорил?

Ты просто выглядишь гадко.

00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:53,070

Да, с людьми почаще общайся, пап.

00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:01,850

- И что это было?

- Да ничего.

00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:09,380

Хотя для такого, как ты, это даже на пользу.

00:21:49,370 --> 00:21:51,430

Так, кажется, я видел там яка.

00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:55,760

Если получится взять его живым,

я смогу пить его мочу недели две.

00:21:55,780 --> 00:21:57,300

Может быть, даже три.

00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,510

Эй, пап, не видел...

00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:00,430

Ой, да господи боже! Папа, нет!

00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:03,600

А что? Это прикол шоу, его надо смотреть голым.

00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:06,290

Так действительно было задумано, детка.

00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:09,370

Народ! Мы все на этом диване сидим!

00:22:12,950 --> 00:22:14,730

Ты был прав насчёт этого парня.

00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:16,970

Сделай громче.

00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:19,990

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.