Не бойся Сморти

00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586

{\an8}Wouldn't want that.

00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,089

{\an8}Morty, we'd better run before

it figures out what a husband is.

00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,842

{\an8}This carnival of nightmares

used to be scary, right?

00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,178

- We've seen too much.

- It sucks, you know?

00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,555

{\an8}Cause it's fun

to break off a scare now and then.

00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,267

{\an8}Did I hear you fellas wishing

for some good old fashioned scares?

00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,144

{\an8}I mean, I more wish

you wouldn't eavesdrop.

00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,938

{\an8}Who are you?

Does the suit mean you work here,

00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,565

{\an8}or that you super don't work here?

00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,318

{\an8}Like yourselves,

I'm a connoisseur of fear.

00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,112

{\an8}I'm also originally from Earth.

And did you know Earth

00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,990

{\an8}is the home of the single

scariest place in the galaxy?

00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,575

{\an8}I can show you if you like.

00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,410

{\an8}We were headed that way anyway.

00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,414

{\an8}- Take a left. Almost there.

- We know where Earth is.

00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,583

{\an8}For guys like you, you know,

who've seen it all

00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,795

{\an8}there's only a few real fears

left to conquer.

00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,215

{\an8}And one of them is right down here.

00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,137

{\an8}- Okay, what the hell.

- This is punching down.

00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,515

{\an8}Denny's is a nice chain

that gives people starchy food

00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,016

{\an8}- when they're up late.

- It's a hack joke, buddy.

00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,643

{\an8}No, this is the place.

00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,062

{\an8}Good luck to both of you.

I'm gonna get myself a slam.

00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,233

- He just wanted a ride, right?

- He certainly took us for one.

00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,944

{\an8}As long as we're here...

00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,738

{\an8}Ok! Lumberjack Slam,

Grand Slamwhich,

00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,032

{\an8}Pancake Puppies, Slamburger,

two milkshakes...

00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,575

{\an8}and an order of Cheddar Tots.

00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,744

{\an8}Let me know when you want your check,

and if you're here for The Hole,

00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,621

{\an8}- it's in the men's bathroom.

- The what now?

00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,998

{\an8}- Hole?

- The Fear Hole. Men's bathroom.

00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,595

{\an8}Well, it's definitely a hole,

they weren't lying about that.

00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,639

{\an8}Is that hair? Seaweed?

00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,559

{\an8}Boy, it's really circling

the whole rim.

00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,936

{\an8}Guess you gotta jump in

without touching the sides?

00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,896

{\an8}You think there's spikes on the bottom?

00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,982

{\an8}I don't think they want you

to go in there and just die.

00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,233

{\an8}What kind of business would that be?

00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,403

{\an8}Well, they're not drowning in money.

They still have a built-in TV/VCR.

00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,073

- It's that carnival guy.

- So he gets a kickback.

00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:40,410

{\an8}Hi. Welcome to The Hole.

Here's how it works: You jump in.

00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,997

{\an8}The Hole manifests your greatest fear.

You conquer that fear, and come out,

00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,041

{\an8}well, fearless.

And you get your picture on the wall!

00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,418

{\an8}What does The Hole get out of it?

00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,838

{\an8}Well, you know those fish

that nibble dead skin off your feet?

00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,758

{\an8}The Hole's kinda like that.

It eats fear. You win. It wins.

00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,385

{\an8}Have fun, and enjoy the Ho...

00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,681

{\an8}Hey Gaddafi, cool your jets

with a taste of Mountain Dew!

00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,476

{\an8}This has been here since VHS tapes

and there's only three photos?

00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,396

{\an8}- My tots are getting cold.

- So you don't want to do it?

00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,814

{\an8}- Do you?

- I mean...

00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,066

It says it takes away

your greatest fear.

00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,402

My greatest fear, Morty,

is trusting a gross hole

00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:17,655

to conquer my fear, and I

conquer that fear by walking away.

00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:18,948

Okay, fine.

00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,327

You little turd!

00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,583

- Oh God!

- Oh God!

00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,713

Hold still

while i stuff you with maggots!

00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,174

Rick!

00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,719

Okay! The Hole thinks

I'm scared of not having a gun?

00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,932

Fear conquered!

00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:49,687

Check out dem gains! Morty!

Where are you, Morty? Let's go!

00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,815

- Oh jeez! Oh god, oh jeez!

- Man! We both shit our pants!

00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,817

- Christ, Rick! My button.

- What a fucking ride!

00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:58,404

- Maggots in my button!

- Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfuckers!

00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,281

It's not worth it! Not worth it!

00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,954

Oh my god, you both reek.

What is that?

00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,205

Morty and I shit our pants.

00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,540

You're looking at the two

newest members of the Hole Club.

00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,250

Okay, sluts.

00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,503

What the hell?

00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:19,384

Bomb almost killed her.

Take care of our wife.

00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,180

Rick? No!

Oh my God! No, no!

00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,600

- Mom?

- Where am I? Who are you people?

00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,019

You're my mom, but, you're young?

00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,481

- Rick, what's happening??

- Wait. Rick?

00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,275

What the fuck, Grandpa?

Say something!

00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,237

- Okay, we're clearly still in the hole.

- That's exactly what I was thinking.

00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,321

We never left the hole and...

00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,198

And part of the hole is thinking

you left the hole and then

00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491

And then it can really dig into you.

00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,369

Because you can't really be scared

of anything if you know you're

00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,996

- Still in the hole!

- Still in the hole!

00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,455

What the fuck are you two talking about?

00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,582

Why is dead Grandma alive

in our living room?

00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,251

Rick, why are you old?

00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,293

All great questions.

00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,421

You guys get reacquainted

while we grab some equipment.

00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,882

Wait, are we sure this isn't, like,

a double mislead?

00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,135

A double mislead like

we went into a generic fear hole

00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,762

and then coincidentally

came home to that? That's...

00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,807

That's my wife.

From the day I lost her.

00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,517

Well, what's it got to do with me?

00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,061

- Rick?

- Right!

00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,272

I think I figured it out, Morty.

Your greatest fear,

00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,399

is me getting Diane back

and being happy again.

00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,483

What? Why?

00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,318

Because then I won't need you.

Look how scared you're

00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,196

- getting just talking about it.

- I'm not scared, I'm insulted.

00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,323

What kind of

backhanded-ass theory is that?

00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,200

My greatest fear is you hooking up?

00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,745

You're right, we can't know for sure

until I get more data.

00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,873

Alright family!

Who wants to catch up over ice cream?

00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,334

I knew he was working

on teleportation. But...

00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:37,170

Wouldn't this be time travel?

00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,422

Dad never touches time travel.

00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,506

He calls it the Long...

00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,592

Long Island Iced

Tea of science fiction.

00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,927

Yes, but then what is this?

00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,846

Don't worry about it,

it's not real. Okay!

00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,639

I figure it's better to do this

in front of you,

00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,934

I didn't want to walk in de-aged.

What do you think, D? 45? Younger?

00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,063

I don't care about your age, Rick.

I don't even want to call you that,

00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,107

that's my husband's name,

he just died.

00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,108

I know.

00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,568

So, 27?

00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,780

- Dad! You're traumatizing her.

- What? It's my face, too.

00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,158

And now Diane gets to understand

that I'm still sexy and a genius.

00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,326

What a kindness.

00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,079

You were right, Rick,

I'm really terrified right now.

00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,331

Terrified of what?

If you don't mind,

00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,125

I'd like to get to know

the adult version of my...

00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,585

Oh my God!

00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,504

Where's my real daughter?

00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,505

Sweetie, it's all right.

00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,883

This may as well be our real daughter,

because she's just as real as you.

00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,009

- What?

- Put it this way.

00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,677

You're all basically NPCs.

00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,138

Only Morty and I are real,

so your side quests don't matter.

00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,141

- The main quest is... us.

- You're disgusting.

00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:35,103

You're talking about our baby girl

like she's theoretical?

00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,563

- Welcome to the family.

- No, you don't get it, honey.

00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,565

Even if this was real,

she'd be only a version

00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,567

of your daughter who could also

be a clone of your daughter.

00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,862

Stop wearing my husband's face!

You're nothing like him!

00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:48,157

- Because I lost you!

- Maybe you didn't deserve me!

00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,956

You want to hear a new theory?

00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:59,919

Maybe your greatest fear is getting

a second chance with her and blowing it.

00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,046

You don't think that fear

is been pretty well faced?

00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:06,217

Then you haven't conquered it.

Or accepted it. Or something.

00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,927

"Or something?"

I'm not a fearologist!

00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,720

Morty, all rom-coms have an arc.

00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,265

Even You've Got Mail begins

with Tom Hanks killing that cop.

00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,266

- Really?

- I don't know!

00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,892

I'm not going to fucking

watch You've Got Mail.

00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,562

I'm doing this for you, Morty.

The sooner I get her back,

00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,731

the sooner you can conquer your fear

of being a useless, lonely turd.

00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,025

You don't think that's been faced?

00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,491

Hello Diane,

here's the song I rehearsed.

00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,077

You had a bad day

and Rick made it worse.

00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:38,332

He felt bad, so he created me.

I deliver you waffles and an apology.

00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,085

Why do I have memories

of being a human child?

00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,378

- Why would I need...

- Shit!

00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,588

Goddammit!

00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,424

There was a whole second verse about

inviting you to the zoo with the family.

00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,135

I've seen that robot's arms.

00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,305

I used them on a law enforcement drone

that the Feds had me build.

00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,306

It's how we...

00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,224

How I met my wife.

00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,810

The zoo sounds nice.

00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,438

And this one time,

we raised a civilization living

00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,649

on a zit on my face, and Grandpa

helped me rule over it as queen.

00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,860

It sounds like you guys

are a real family now.

00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,154

I wish you could've been

part of it, Mom.

00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,282

- Oh, honey!

- Rick!

00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,201

Is there a deadline

on this theory you're chasing?

00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,496

Yeah, sure!

That's a good idea, Morty. Do that.

00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,210

I always wished I knew

what they were saying.

00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,420

Your Master's thesis.

Nonhuman Intelligence.

00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,963

When did you read that?

00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,215

After you were gone.

00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,925

It helped me develop this.

00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,053

Fuck you! Fuck you, Greg!

00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,512

- Fuck you, Lisa! Bread.

- No!

00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,972

- Fuck you!

- Fuck you! There's bread.

00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,808

- I guess that's what I expected?

- Anticlimactic isn't it.

00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,852

They kinda suck.

00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,273

Wanna grab a drink?

00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,526

Yeah, alright!

00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,582

When did you stop being a lightweight?

00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,751

Kept looking for my wife

at the bottom of a bottle.

00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,086

You're pathetic.

00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,838

Hey! To being pathetic.

00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,136

Clear!

00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,356

My turn, my turn.

00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,115

I'll tell you what, Old Man.

Seems like losing me made you cooler.

00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,409

I should die more often.

00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,452

You did.

00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,289

You died everywhere forever.

00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,708

You're the only thing I can't replace.

00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:48,045

Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy.

I'm not even real, remember?

00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,840

Nothing's real, that's your jam, right?

00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384

My grandson... our grandson...

00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,387

thinks this is happening because

my greatest fear is letting you go.

00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,222

- Then don't.

- I don't want to.

00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,850

- Then kiss me.

- I'm old and we have puke mouth.

00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,019

Well, I'm not here

and it's not real puke.

00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,404

Okay, Rick! Dude...

00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,864

Fuck you Morty, it's a blazer.

00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,532

That's not what I meant.

You look sick.

00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,869

- The hole is feeding on you.

- I thought it's supposed to eat my fear.

00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,412

Can we get some fucking rules

up in this hole?

00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,414

I don't know the rules!

Maybe you're just dying

00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,832

because you've been in here too long!

00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,710

Interesting theory.

I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked.

00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,627

What are you saying?

00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,921

Maybe the real you

is off somewhere running from spiders.

00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,256

So now I'm not real?

00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,259

Maybe my greatest fear is having

to tell you to fuck the fuck off.

00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,053

- Go ahead and face it!

- Fuck the fuck off!

00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:41,015

- Ready to Showbiz Pizza?

- Lemme see that bear play banjo!

00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,976

Here's one for ya.

I'm afraid of watching you die.

00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,312

I like that theory, Morty.

So stop watching.

00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,486

Okay, this is it. You nailed it.

My worst nightmare.

00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,363

I'd like to leave The Hole now.

00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,742

Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you.

Are you listening?

00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,379

So, what are you, like, the Hole?

00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,547

The Hole's promoter?

The Hole's intern?

00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,673

Is there a hole here?

00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:18,552

Right! I'm supposed to go in there

and be shocked that there's no hole,

00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,138

or that there is a hole?

What difference would it make?

00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,265

You are hard to scare.

00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,642

And Rick isn't, right?

00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,936

The Hole's gonna, like,

suck on him forever

00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,688

because his big secret

is that he's got the most fear?

00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,024

Well, we can certainly say

you're not afraid to be reductive.

00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,903

I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear

than the average asshole in a Denny's.

00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,987

- Hey.

- Sorry!

00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:40,574

If anything, he seems pretty brave.

He's certainly not afraid to die.

00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,076

Maybe that makes his fear extra...

00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,744

delicious.

00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,332

So, what, he's scared of love?

00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,210

Everyone's scared of love, dipshit.

You'll learn that in your twenties.

00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,338

It takes a very rare,

very powerful being to be

00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,340

terrified of happiness.

00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,633

- Dumb.

- You're dumb.

00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,093

That's why you're

not scared to be happy.

00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,886

The smarter you are, the more you know.

00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,389

Happiness is a trap.

It can't last forever.

00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,266

Let's say you meet

the love of your life,

00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,685

well, it's still gonna end...

It's inevitable!

00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,062

Whether by the slow pull of a disease,

00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,273

or the shock of loose footing

on a hiking trail.

00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,567

whether it be the corrosion

of two personalities

00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,819

that reshape each other

until they're incompatible,

00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,280

or maybe the old stranger in a bar

who says the things

00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,199

that need to be said,

to that person, that night.

00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,162

The point is... Happiness always ends.

00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,289

Best case scenario, think about this.

Best case.

00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:31,500

Is that you die at the same time.

00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,545

- Yikes.

- Can't the Hole just let me go then?

00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,713

Sounds like I don't matter.

00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,549

You don't. But if you go,

you'll take him away. Don't worry.

00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,885

Rick will die

before accepting happiness.

00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,095

After that, we'll chase you

with some clowns

00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,555

or some dumb shit like that.

00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,309

But Grandpa... Grandpa's gonna die.

00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,728

Just like Diane.

00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,446

Sir, you've been in this booth

for a really long time,

00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,198

- one coffee isn't gonna cut it.

- That's fair.

00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,492

- Wanna split some pancake puppies?

- No!

00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,370

Beth? Summer? Anyone!

00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,414

Dad, it's not real. Neither are you.

00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,416

If that's true, then you deal with it!

00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,710

You know what, you're right.

00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:18,380

How about this?

00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,300

- Morty! What are you doing?

- Being scared!

00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,848

How is that not enough fear?

00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,600

You're the one scaring me, Morty!

00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,893

No, Dad, it's okay!

00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,270

It's not okay! That wasn't normal!

00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,526

My greatest fear is not being accepted.

00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,735

It should be!

00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,946

And you need to fear

it a hell of a lot more!

00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,281

I can do that.

00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:45,407

You like that?

00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,867

Do you want to die?

00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,995

I have enough unaddressed trauma

to flood this hallway.

00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,375

You fucking idiot,

this list says Top Five Things

00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,668

and you only wrote down four.

00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,092

Trust fall!

00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,470

None of us touch or speak

to this kid ever.

00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,224

Maybe take a picture,

send it to your friends?

00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,225

Not a bad idea.

00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,812

How can we do the school play

if Johnny has laryngitis?

00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,356

- There's no understudy!

- Put me in the play.

00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,358

- You don't know the lines.

- Yes I do.

00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,444

Three Days of Rain?

I have it memorized.

00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,405

And I refuse to prove

that until you cast me.

00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,074

Have it your way,

but The New York Times is coming,

00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,327

and they're doing a feature on the

current state of young American theater.

00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,497

Perfect.

00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,792

- It ended in a church? What?

- Yeah!

00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,420

They'd already died

it was purgatory or something.

00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,255

How did your universe's version end?

00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,758

Jack, Locke and Sawyer teamed up to kill

a fog monster and everyone got rescued.

00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,219

It was one season long

and it was perfect television.

00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,888

You can be great

or you can be around forever, right?

00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,142

True.

00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,477

- True.

- Where's this going?

00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,104

- True.

- We doing robot roleplay?

00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,397

- True.

- I've got oil at home.

00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,524

- True.

- What was that? Diane!

00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,483

Diane?

00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,236

- Diane.

- Stay with me! Diane?

00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,779

Rick? What's happening?

00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,574

Fucking Morty!

He's trying to hog the hole. C'mon!

00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,335

Alas, our father is dead.

00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,004

Walker, are you here?

00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:32,056

I'm Walker.

Sure has been raining a lot of days.

00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,683

What the fuck is he doing?

00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,644

What's wrong with him?

00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,897

He's naked.

And why does he look sick?

00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,358

Because he's dying.

00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,944

Fuck.

I gotta get him out of here.

00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,072

But if I do,

I might have to go with him.

00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,617

I don't want to.

I don't want to, Diane.

00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,577

I think my greatest fear

is letting you go.

00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,205

That's a good fear, Rick.

Keep that fear.

00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,083

If you don't, you'll kill me. Again.

00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,086

I know.

But I don't have to kill Morty too.

00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,547

How do you know he's even real?

Look at his weird little balls.

00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,092

Goodbye, Diane.

00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,263

- Rick...?

- Shut up Morty.

00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,974

DJ, drop that beat,

we gotta conquer a fear!

00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,938

This is my grandson

don't look at his pee-pee

00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,565

stead of staring at Morty

put your eyes on me

00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,235

I'm a roped-out freak

loose dog in my ass

00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,071

macaroni in my pocket

Rickity masterclass.

00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,657

I don't know how to rap

I don't know how to rhyme

00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,284

i don't know how to rap

now eat my shit!

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,745

Incredible.

00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,581

Now throw your hands up!

And put your hands down.

00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,000

Throw your hands up!

Now put them back down!

00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,254

Three days of rain!

00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,134

That was an astounding feat

of personal bravery.

00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,220

Nudity always makes theater

serious and good.

00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:54,930

How do you feel?

00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,515

Accepted. You?

00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,516

Pathetic.

00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,393

But...

Happy?

00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,160

We did it!

We conquered our fears. Right?

00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:23,292

Rick! You just looked real sad,

which I'm afraid of.

00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,504

You know, of being responsible

for your sadness.

00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,716

Which means, I think,

we might still be in The Hole.

00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,887

Well, I am definitely afraid of you

ever knowing anything before me.

00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,514

So, I'd say there's a 100% chance

that we're still...

00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,810

God damn it.

Is this going to be a whole thing?

00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,895

No wordplay, Morty.

00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,355

We have to figure out our actual fears

if we're ever going to get out of here.

00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,899

- Actual fears?

- Yeah!

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,567

Tell me your fucking fear

so we can conquer it.

00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,279

I just had to crucify myself in order

to save you from your Hole Wife,

00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,865

and you think I'm the one

with unresolved fears?

00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,658

I oughta be afraid

that we'll never get out,

00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,368

because you'll never admit

that you're afraid!

00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,957

Okay. Good job.

You conquered it, right?

00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,668

I think so?

How are we supposed to know?

00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,587

No, this is real, I can tell.

00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,839

You're not afraid that you

could be certain about something

00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,382

and still turn out to be wrong?

00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,428

- You cowardly asshole!

- How was I supposed to know?

00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,266

Eight dollars for a side of bacon?

00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,060

Are you fucking kidding me?

00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,978

It's a symptom

of a larger concern, Morty.

00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,231

- If capitalism collapses...

- Are we done here?

00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,317

I don't know. Aren't you a little

afraid at this point of The Hole itself?

00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,318

What?

00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,695

I swear to God!

If we're still climbing out

00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,531

of this fucking Hole

two seasons from now.

00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,115

- Maybe that was it.

- What?

00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:40,285

Maybe we needed to let go

of our fear of uncertainty. You know?

00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:41,954

Right.

00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,081

I'd say we're pretty native

to that at this point.

00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,041

- Okay thank you, Hole!

- Thank you, Hole!

00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,419

We no longer need to know

if we're in you! So Bye!

00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,929

Are you afraid we're still in it?

00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,473

I mean, I hope we're not,

but if we are...

00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,851

- We'll find out eventually.

- Which no longer scares me.

00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,061

Same.

Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk.

00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:13,902

Move on they say,

you'll feel better with time.

00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,824

But time alone can't heal

This heart of mine.

00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,582

You can't go back,

That's the only rule,

00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,670

But rules were meant to break

when it comes to you.

00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:39,469

I saw time and time,

Slip by when I withdrew,

00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:44,808

I wandered far and wide,

Without you.

00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,853

Without you.

00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:05,078

So I bury my dead,

And I try to start again,

00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,125

But it will never be the same

As it was back then.

00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:17,841

I've seen time and time,

Slip by, but I'll make do,

00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,678

-‘Cause I won't live my life...

- Oh my God, I've turned into my dad!

00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,808

Maybe there's no way out.

Maybe we were born here.

00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,646

- C'mon. We're gonna get through this.

- I'm staying here.

00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,190

No. We're Rick and Morty.

I'm not leaving without you.

00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,108

What did you say?

00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,945

I said I'm not leaving you in here.

Come on. You're irreplaceable.

00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,240

- What?

- Oh my god.

00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,742

I know what I'm afraid of.

00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,370

I'm afraid you'd never say

that in real life.

00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,372

I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole,

00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,457

you wouldn't even bother

jumping in after me.

00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:54,294

You'd just stand there and watch.

This entire thing has been about me.

00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,756

You're not even in the hole, are you?

00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,009

Thank you for visiting

the Fear Hole, Morty.

00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:04,471

Your fear of relying on Ric

has been delicious.

00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,974

Dear God!

00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,561

Morty! How was it?

Was it spiders?

00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,315

Oh jeez. Oh my god, no. You...

00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,777

- You didn't go in at all?

- No, it's a one-person ride.

00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,904

You can't face two fears

at the same time.

00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,948

If my fear was fire

and yours was water...

00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,366

I get it. It's fine.

00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,161

It really is fine.

00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,789

You do seem a little less burdened.

00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,625

Rick, am I irreplaceable?

00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:37,170

- I mean, define "irreplaceable".

- That's good. Good.

00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:39,840

I'm back.

00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,010

Don't!

Or I won't know if I'm out!

00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,886

- Is it that good? Should I go in?

- No.

00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,346

You holding out on me?

00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,849

You don't want to deal with it, Rick.

00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,227

There was messed-up mental shit

in there. Like, Diane was in there.

00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,520

- What?

- Not in a good way.

00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:54,896

Just trust me.

00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,691

Okay, buddy.

Let's go slam some pancakes.

00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,036

How bout that? Season 7!

00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,246

It was touch and go

there for a second.

00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:58,126

Remember when I stole my kid?

I stole one of these too!

00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:06,635

It's all about having a goal

and stopping at nothing to achieve it!

00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,554

Then you'll be fulfilled!

00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586

Ой-ёй, чё-то не хочется.

00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,089

Да уж, Морти. Бежим, пока эта штука

не прошарила, что такое муж.

00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:50,792

Раньше карнавал кошмаров был страшным, да?

00:00:50,813 --> 00:00:52,200

Мы уже всё повидали.

00:00:52,221 --> 00:00:53,150

Отстойно блин.

00:00:53,171 --> 00:00:55,527

Иногда напугаться бывает довольно прикольно.

00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,166

Я верно услышал, что вы, ребята,

желаете старых добрых страхов?

00:00:59,187 --> 00:01:01,123

Я бы пожелал, чтобы ты не подслушивал.

00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,123

Да, ты кто?

00:01:02,143 --> 00:01:05,565

Костюм говорит о том, что ты здесь работаешь

или, работаешь нифига не здесь?

00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,318

Я сам своего рода ценитель страха,

как и вы.

00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,753

А ещё я родом с Земли.

00:01:09,773 --> 00:01:13,990

Вы знали, что Земля - это дом самого

страшного места в галактике?

00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,575

Могу показать, если хотите.

00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,463

Мы всё равно туда направлялись.

00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,090

Налево. Почти на месте.

00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:21,356

Мы знаем, где Земля.

00:01:21,377 --> 00:01:23,649

Вы уже всё повидали,

и таким, как вы,

00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,735

осталось побороть всего пару

настоящих страхов.

00:01:26,756 --> 00:01:30,176

И один из них находится прямо здесь.

00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:34,594

Так, какого чёрта?

00:01:34,614 --> 00:01:36,072

Да. Чё за неуважение?

00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:38,902

Дэннис - неплохая кафешка, где подают

крахмальную еду для тех, кто не спит.

00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:40,016

Фиговая шутка, приятель.

00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,643

Нет, мы на месте.

00:01:42,243 --> 00:01:44,082

Удачи вам обоим.

А я себе Слэм закажу.

00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,786

Он хотел, чтобы его подвезли, да?

00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,233

И решил, что мы берём попутчиков.

00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,850

Ну, раз уж мы здесь...

00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:56,011

Итак, Слэм дровосека, большой Слэмвич,

оладки-малютки, Слэмбургер, два молочных коктейля

00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,494

и порция картошки-чеддар.

00:01:57,515 --> 00:02:00,758

Скажите, когда принести счёт. А если вам

нужна Дыра, то она в мужском туалете.

00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:01,557

Чего?

00:02:01,578 --> 00:02:02,115

Дыра?

00:02:02,135 --> 00:02:03,955

Дыра страха. В мужском туалете.

00:02:14,954 --> 00:02:17,574

Ну, это определённо дыра,

тут нам не соврали.

00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,639

Это волосы? Или водоросли?

00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:22,332

Да уж, расположились по всей окружности.

00:02:22,466 --> 00:02:24,843

Наверное, надо запрыгнуть туда,

не задев края.

00:02:24,864 --> 00:02:26,824

Как думаешь, там на дне шипы?

00:02:26,845 --> 00:02:28,931

Вряд ли нас бы отправили

на верную смерть.

00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:30,150

Фигово для бизнеса.

00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:33,341

В деньгах они явно не купаются.

У них даже телек с видаком.

00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:35,459

Тот чувак с карнавала.

00:02:35,479 --> 00:02:36,965

Он всё же получает откат.

00:02:36,986 --> 00:02:40,249

Привет. Добро пожаловать в Дыру.

Вот как всё устроено. Запрыгивайте внутрь.

00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,259

Дыра воплощает ваш самый главный страх.

00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:45,255

Если поборете его, то выберетесь

оттуда бесстрашным.

00:02:45,302 --> 00:02:47,041

И мы повесим вашу фотографию на стену.

00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,358

Что же с этого получит Дыра?

00:02:48,497 --> 00:02:51,584

Вы знаете, есть такие рыбки, которые

питаются омертвевшей кожи с ваших ног?

00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:55,614

Дыра такая же. Она питается страхом.

Ваша победа - её победа.

00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:57,398

Удачи. Повеселитесь в Ды...

00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:01,681

Эй, Каддафи, умерь свой пыл

глотком Маунтин Дью!

00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:05,269

Эта Дыра здесь со времён видеокассет,

а фоток всего три?

00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:06,630

Ага. Картоха остывает.

00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:08,279

То есть, ты не хочешь туда прыгать?

00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:08,849

А ты?

00:03:08,869 --> 00:03:12,066

Ну... Нам обещают, что уйдёт

самый главный страх.

00:03:12,087 --> 00:03:15,411

Мой главный страх, Морти, это поверить,

что мерзкая дыра поборет мой страх,

00:03:15,432 --> 00:03:17,492

и я поборю этот страх,

когда уйду отсюда.

00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:18,878

Хорошо, ладно.

00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,159

Мелкий говнюк!

00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,049

О боже!

00:03:26,069 --> 00:03:28,583

О боже!

00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,692

Не дёргайся. Я нашпигую тебя личинками.

00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,174

Рик!

00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,552

Ясно. Дыра считает,

что мне будет страшно без пушки.

00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,699

Я поборол страх!

00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:49,327

Гля какие банки! Морти!

Где ты, Морти? Погнали!

00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,031

Вот блин! Господи!

00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:52,815

- Блин!

- Жесть, мы оба обосрались.

00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,671

- Господи, Рик! Мой пупок!

- Охуеть аттракцион!

00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,187

В моём пупке личинки!

00:03:56,207 --> 00:03:58,279

Заебца! На стену, сученьки!

00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,177

Оно того не стоит! Не стоит!

00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,707

Боже мой, от вас воняет.

В чём дело?

00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:06,979

Мы с Морти обосрались.

00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,335

Перед вами два новых члена

клуба Дыры.

00:04:09,428 --> 00:04:11,138

Понятно, шлюшки.

00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:13,309

Какого чёрта?

00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,372

Бомба чуть не убила её.

00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:19,524

Сбереги нашу жену.

00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:24,098

Рик? Нет! Боже мой! Нет! Нет!

00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:25,020

Мама?

00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:27,394

Где я? Кто вы такие?

00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:29,731

Ты моя мама, но... молодая?

00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:31,372

Рик, что происходит?

00:04:31,392 --> 00:04:33,214

Стоп. Рик?

00:04:34,136 --> 00:04:36,275

Что за хуйня, деда? Скажи что-нибудь.

00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:37,728

Ну мы явно ещё в дыре.

00:04:37,748 --> 00:04:38,890

У меня та же мысль.

00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,111

Мы не вылезли из дыры и...

00:04:40,132 --> 00:04:41,945

Дыра заставляет думать,

что ты покинул дыру и...

00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:43,271

И по полной впивается в тебя.

00:04:43,292 --> 00:04:46,118

Потому что невозможно испытать настоящий страх,

если ты знаешь, что

00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:47,766

- Всё ещё в дыре!

- Всё ещё в дыре!

00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,170

Да чё вы, блядь, несёте?

00:04:49,191 --> 00:04:51,318

Что в нашей гостиной

делает ожившая бабушка?

00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:53,008

Рик, почему ты старый?

00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:56,421

Отличные вопросы. Вы тут познакомьтесь,

а мы за оборудованием.

00:04:57,084 --> 00:04:59,628

Погоди, а нас точно не водят за нос дважды?

00:04:59,649 --> 00:05:01,902

Хочешь сказать, что мы сиганули

в типичную дыру страха

00:05:01,923 --> 00:05:03,780

и по воле случая увидели дома вот это?

00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:07,565

Это... это моя жена.

С того дня, как я потерял её.

00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,492

Ну, а я-то здесь причём?

00:05:10,915 --> 00:05:11,216

Рик?

00:05:11,236 --> 00:05:13,272

Так! Кажется, я всё понял, Морти.

00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:16,169

Больше всего ты боишься, что я верну Дайен

и снова буду счастлив.

00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,164

Что? Почему?

00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,486

Ты мне больше не потребуешься.

00:05:18,507 --> 00:05:20,023

Тебе страшно от одного только разговора.

00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:21,943

Мне не страшно. Я оскорблён.

00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,033

Чё это за шизанутая теория?

00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:25,873

Мой главный страх - это твоя личная жизнь?

00:05:25,894 --> 00:05:28,545

Ты прав. Узнаем наверняка,

когда соберём побольше данных.

00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,644

Эй, семья. Кто хочет поболтать за мороженкой?

00:05:32,256 --> 00:05:34,967

Я знала, что он работал над телепортацией, но...

00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,877

Разве это не путешествие во времени?

00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:39,150

Ой, папа не любит путешествия во времени.

00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:39,948

Он называет их Лонг...

00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:42,328

Коктейлем Лонг-Айленд в мире научной фантастики.

00:05:42,349 --> 00:05:44,558

Да, но это тогда что?

00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:46,498

Не парься, всё ненастоящее. Так-с.

00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:48,312

Я решил сделать это у тебя на глазах.

00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:51,822

А то бы уселся молодым.

Что скажешь, Ди? Сорок пять? Или помоложе?

00:05:51,843 --> 00:05:53,566

Мне всё равно, сколько тебе лет, Рик.

00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,083

Я даже не хочу звать тебя так.

Это имя моего мужа.

00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:57,724

А он... погиб.

00:05:57,745 --> 00:05:58,387

Знаю.

00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:00,249

Тогда... двадцать семь?

00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,912

Папа! Ты ей психотравму нанесёшь!

00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:03,482

Что? Мне тоже не по себе.

00:06:03,503 --> 00:06:06,881

Зато теперь Дайен поймёт, что я до сих пор

и сексуален, и умён.

00:06:06,902 --> 00:06:08,070

Сама доброта.

00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:10,748

Ты был прав, Рик.

Я сейчас в диком ужасе.

00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,176

В ужасе от чего?

00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:15,833

Если вы не против, я хотела бы

получше узнать взрослую версию своей...

00:06:16,068 --> 00:06:16,826

О господи!

00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,297

Где... где моя настоящая дочь?

00:06:19,318 --> 00:06:20,319

Милая, всё хорошо.

00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,515

Считай, что это - настоящая дочь,

она реальна в той же степени, что и ты.

00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:23,961

Чего?

00:06:23,981 --> 00:06:26,319

Короче. Вы все, по сути, ЭнПиСи.

00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,846

Настоящие только я и Морти.

Так что ваши сайд-квесты не важны.

00:06:29,118 --> 00:06:30,746

Главный квест - это мы.

00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:31,813

Какой ты мерзкий.

00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:34,703

Говоришь про нашу малышку так,

будто она гипотетическая.

00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:35,958

Добро пожаловать в семью.

00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,184

Нет, ты не поняла, милая.

00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,774

Даже если бы всё это было реально,

то она - лишь версия дочери,

00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:41,075

которая, возможно, ещё и клон дочери.

00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,207

Перестань расхаживать с лицом моего мужа!

00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,525

Ты вообще не он!

00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:45,782

Потому что потерял тебя!

00:06:45,802 --> 00:06:47,841

Возможно, ты меня и не заслуживал.

00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,745

Рассказать мою теорию?

00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:59,545

Может, твой главный страх - это получить второй шанс

и профукать его?

00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:01,693

Не думаешь, что я уже столкнулся с этим страхом?

00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,962

Значит, ты его не поборол.

Или не принял.

00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:06,539

- Или ещё чего.

- Ещё чего?

00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,525

Я не страховед!

00:07:07,546 --> 00:07:09,339

Морти, у всех ромкомов есть сюжетная арка.

00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,905

Даже в начале фильма "Вам письмо"

Том Хэнкс убивает копа.

00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:12,323

Правда?

00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,459

Не знаю! Ебал я смотреть "Вам письмо".

00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,150

Я же для тебя стараюсь, Морти.

Чем быстрее я верну её,

00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:20,340

тем быстрее ты перестанешь бояться

быть бесполезным одиноким катяхом.

00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:22,794

А, типа с этим страхом я не столкнулся ещё?

00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,226

♪ Привет, Дайен, ♪

♪ мне песню спеть не лень. ♪

00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:32,832

♪ Рик сделал хуже ♪

♪ и без того плохой день. ♪

00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,330

♪ Ему стало стыдно, ♪

♪ и он создал меня. ♪

00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:37,986

♪ Я принёс тебе вафли ♪

♪ и извинения. ♪

00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:40,684

Почему я помню, что раньше был

человеческим ребёнком?

00:07:40,705 --> 00:07:41,998

- Зачем я должен...

- Чёрт-чёрт-чёрт!

00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:43,179

Твою налево.

00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,063

Во втором куплете было приглашение

пойти в зоопарк всей семьёй.

00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:48,756

Я уже видела руки этого робота.

00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:51,790

Да, они были на полицейском дроне,

которого я сделал по просьбе федералов.

00:07:51,884 --> 00:07:52,885

Так мы...

00:07:53,677 --> 00:07:54,742

Так я встретил жену.

00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,477

Зоопарк звучит здорово.

00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,317

А однажды у меня вскочил прыщ на лице,

и мы создали там цивилизацию.

00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:03,238

Дедушка помог мне стать их королевой.

00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:05,470

Похоже, что вы стали настоящей семьёй.

00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,654

Вот бы ты стала её частью, мама.

00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,363

Ох, милая.

00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:12,819

Рик, долго ты ещё будешь гоняться за своей теорией?

00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:17,172

Да, конечно! О-отличная идея, Морти.

Так и сделай.

00:08:19,186 --> 00:08:21,689

Всегда хотелось понять,

о чём они говорят.

00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,920

Это ж тема твоей диссертации.

Нечеловеческий интеллект.

00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,575

Когда ты её прочитал?

00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,505

Когда тебя не стало.

Она помогла создать вот это.

00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:30,873

Иди нахуй!

00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:32,233

- Иди нахуй, Грег!

- Пошла нахуй, Лиза!

00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:33,118

- Йоу! Хлеб!

- Стоять!

00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:34,533

- Иди нахуй!

- Сама иди! Ещё хлеб!

00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:35,924

А чего ещё стоило ожидать?

00:08:35,944 --> 00:08:37,308

Разочарование, не так ли?

00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:39,373

Да, полный отстой.

00:08:42,283 --> 00:08:43,759

Эй, не хочешь выпить?

00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,261

Да, ништяк!

00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,526

Три... два... Пейте!

00:08:58,475 --> 00:09:01,061

Когда это тебя перестал брать алкоголь?

00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,402

Когда искал жену на дне бутылки.

00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,586

Ничтожество.

00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,338

Эй! За ничтожеств!

00:09:12,465 --> 00:09:13,382

Разряд!

00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:18,937

Умоляю вас, поделите выигрыш.

Выберите жизнь.

00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,684

Мы так и делаем, уёбок.

00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,869

Теперь я, теперь я.

00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,615

Вот что я скажу тебе, старик.

Ты стал круче, когда потерял меня.

00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:35,822

Надо почаще умирать.

00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:37,674

Так и было.

00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:40,813

Ты умерла повсюду... навсегда.

00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,208

Только тебя я не могу заменить.

00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:47,545

Успокойся, мистер Нюня.

Я ведь ненастоящая, забыл?

00:09:47,785 --> 00:09:50,246

Всё вокруг нереально.

Твори, что хочешь, верно?

00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,811

Мой внук... наш внук...

00:09:52,832 --> 00:09:55,835

думает, что всё это происходит, потому что

мой главный страх - отпустить тебя.

00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:56,759

Так не отпускай.

00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:57,691

Я не хочу.

00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:58,364

Поцелуй меня.

00:09:58,393 --> 00:10:00,271

Я старый, и у меня рот в блевоте.

00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:02,461

Меня здесь нет,

а блевота ненастоящая.

00:10:11,082 --> 00:10:12,856

Короче, Рик! Офигеть! Чел...

00:10:12,877 --> 00:10:14,337

Нахуй иди, Морти. Это блейзер.

00:10:14,358 --> 00:10:16,026

Я не об этом. У тебя больной видок.

00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:17,564

Дыра питается тобой.

00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,278

Она вроде должна питаться страхом.

00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,786

В этой дыре есть вообще сраные правила?

00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:24,332

Правил я не знаю. Может, ты умираешь,

потому что торчишь в ней слишком долго?

00:10:24,353 --> 00:10:27,102

Интересная теория.

А ты тогда чего такой розовощёкий?

00:10:27,123 --> 00:10:27,982

Что ты имеешь в виду?

00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,297

А вдруг настоящий ты бегает

в ужасе от пауков.

00:10:30,318 --> 00:10:31,653

То есть, я теперь ненастоящий?

00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,677

Да, может, мой главный страх - это сказать,

чтобы ты от меня отъебался.

00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:35,421

Ну давай тогда.

00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:36,492

Отъебись от меня!

00:10:36,513 --> 00:10:38,325

Ну что, идём в пиццерию "Шоубиз"?

00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:40,475

Заценим, как медведь лабает на банджо!

00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,358

А как тебе такое?

Мне страшно наблюдать, как ты умираешь.

00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:45,834

Хорошая теория, Морти.

Перестань наблюдать.

00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:52,986

Ладно, вот и всё. Ты молодец.

Мой главный кошмар.

00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:54,863

Можно покинуть Дыру?

00:10:55,874 --> 00:10:59,242

Эй, Дыра, я с тобой говорю!

Ты слушаешь?

00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:10,724

Ты кто? Ты и есть Дыра?

00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:12,850

Промоутер Дыры?

Стажёр Дыры?

00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:13,997

Тут есть дыра?

00:11:14,018 --> 00:11:17,897

Ах да. Я типа должен пойти туда и офигеть

от того, что дыры нет,

00:11:17,918 --> 00:11:20,504

или что она там есть? Какая вообще разница?

00:11:20,525 --> 00:11:22,652

Хм. А тебя тяжело напугать.

00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:24,050

А Рика легко, да?

00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:26,299

Дыра будет вечно высасывать из него жизнь,

00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,072

потому что его главная тайна в том,

что у него самый большой страх?

00:11:29,093 --> 00:11:31,429

Можно точно сказать,

что ты не боишься приуменьшать.

00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:35,241

Не думаю, что у твоего дедушки страх больше,

чем у рядового мудилы из Дэннис.

00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:35,683

Эй!

00:11:35,703 --> 00:11:36,201

Извини.

00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:39,809

Скорее наоборот, он довольно храбрый.

Смерти он точно не боится.

00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:43,042

Может, это и делает его страх особенно... вкусным.

00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:47,598

Он что, боится любви?

00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,684

Любви боятся все, тупица.

Поймёшь после двадцати.

00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:53,845

Редко попадается настолько сильное создание,

которое

00:11:54,157 --> 00:11:55,685

боится счастья.

00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:56,188

Тупо.

00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,432

Это ты тупой, а потому и не боишься

быть счастливым.

00:11:58,453 --> 00:12:00,163

Чем умнее ты становишься,

ты больше познаёшь.

00:12:00,184 --> 00:12:02,687

Счастье - это ловушка.

Оно не может жить вечно.

00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:07,185

Вот встретил ты любовь всей своей жизни.

Она всё равно пройдёт. Это неизбежно.

00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:09,360

Причиной может послужить

медленная хватка болезни

00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:11,592

или внезапная потеря равновесия в походе.

00:12:11,613 --> 00:12:16,109

А может, характеры двух людей будут разъедать

друг друга так сильно, что потеряют совместимость.

00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:19,627

Либо же незнакомец в баре скажет то,

что необходимо сказать

00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:21,699

нужному человеку и в нужный вечер.

00:12:21,869 --> 00:12:25,415

Смысл в том, что счастью всегда приходит конец.

00:12:25,436 --> 00:12:27,563

В самом лучшем случае... ты подумай.

В лучшем случае...

00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:30,726

Вы умрёте в одно и то же время.

00:12:31,511 --> 00:12:32,262

Ох.

00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:34,908

Тогда может Дыра отпустит меня?

Я тут вроде и не нужен.

00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:37,874

Не нужен. Но если ты уйдёшь,

то заберёшь его с собой. Не переживай.

00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:40,231

Рик быстрее умрёт, чем примет счастье.

00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:43,815

А потом мы и до тебя доберёмся с помощью

клоунов или ещё какой тупой херни.

00:12:43,836 --> 00:12:47,590

Но дедушка. Ням-ням-ням. Дедушка умрёт.

00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:50,228

Прямо как Дайен.

00:12:57,106 --> 00:13:00,917

Сэр, вы уже давно тут сидите.

Одно только кофе не прокатит.

00:13:00,937 --> 00:13:01,600

Справедливо.

00:13:01,772 --> 00:13:03,059

Скинемся на оладок-малюток?

00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:03,691

Нет!

00:13:05,777 --> 00:13:07,745

Бэт! Саммер! Кто-нибудь!

00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:09,742

Пап, он ненастоящий. И ты тоже.

00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,765

Если это так, то разберись с ним.

00:13:12,181 --> 00:13:14,081

А знаешь, ты... ты прав.

00:13:16,819 --> 00:13:17,759

Как вам такое?

00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,316

Морти! Что ты делаешь?

00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:20,700

Пугаюсь!

00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:27,104

Неужели, этого страха мало?

00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:28,776

Это ты меня пугаешь, Морти!

00:13:28,797 --> 00:13:30,019

Нет, пап, всё хорошо.

00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,417

Ничего хорошего! Это ненормально!

00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:37,746

Суть моего главного страха в том,

что меня никто не принимает?

00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:41,208

Неудивительно! И ты должен

бояться этого куда сильнее!

00:13:42,303 --> 00:13:43,217

Это можно.

00:13:43,977 --> 00:13:46,063

Нравится?

Жить надоело?

00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:49,285

Моих непроработанных травм

хватит, чтобы затопить весь этот коридор.

00:13:50,072 --> 00:13:51,019

ТОП-5 ПРИЧИН ПОЧЕМУ МОРТИ ЛЮБИТ ДЖЕССИКУ

1. ЗАПАХ ЕЁ СМЕНКИ 2. КАК ОНА ГОВОРИТ СЛОВО "СОЧНЫЙ" 3. ЕЁ ИМЯ ОЗНАЧАЕТ "ДАЛЬНОВИДНОСТЬ" НА ИВРИТЕ

4. ЕЁ КОЖА ТАКАЯ ПРЕКРАСНАЯ, ЧТО У МЕНЯ БОЛИТ ПИСЯ

00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:55,168

Ну ты и еблан! Тут написано Топ-5,

а у тебя в списке четыре пункта.

00:14:01,287 --> 00:14:02,051

Тест на доверие.

00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,674

Чтоб никто и никогда не трогал

и не общался с этим пацаном.

00:14:06,464 --> 00:14:09,342

Может, сделаешь фотку и отправишь друзьям?

00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:10,364

Неплохая мысль.

00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,984

У Джонни ларингит, как же мы теперь поставим пьесу?

00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:15,348

Его роль больше никто не знает.

00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:16,456

Давайте я сыграю!

00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,650

Ты же реплик не знаешь.

00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:18,458

Да всё я знаю.

00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:21,523

Три дня дождя?

Знаю наизусть.

00:14:21,544 --> 00:14:23,548

Доказывать не буду,

пока не дадите роль.

00:14:23,569 --> 00:14:26,174

Будь по твоему.

Но там будет представитель из Нью-Йорк Таймс.

00:14:26,195 --> 00:14:29,448

Они пишут статью о текущем состоянии

американского молодёжного театра.

00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,353

Шикос.

00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:35,356

Всё закончилось в церкви? Что?

00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:38,611

Да. Они уже были мертвы

и попали в чистилище или типа того.

00:14:38,853 --> 00:14:40,458

А в твоей вселенной чем кончилось?

00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:43,858

Джек, Локк и Сойер вместе убивают

туманного монстра, и все остаются в живых.

00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:46,319

Всего один сезон, просто идеальный сериал.

00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,988

Либо сериал великий, либо вечно в эфире, да?

00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:52,323

Да. Да. Да. Да.

00:14:52,876 --> 00:14:53,467

Да.

00:14:53,488 --> 00:14:54,577

- Да.

- Чего это ты?

00:14:54,598 --> 00:14:56,276

- Да. Да.

- Ролевушка про роботов?

00:14:56,297 --> 00:14:57,590

- Да. Да.

- Дома есть чем смазаться.

00:14:57,745 --> 00:14:59,750

- Да. Да. Да.

- Что это было? Дайен?

00:14:59,771 --> 00:15:01,219

Дайен? Дайен.

00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,396

- Дайен. Дайен.

- Эй! Очнись! Дайен!

00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,879

Рик? Что происходит?

00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:07,792

Морти сучара!

Хочет перегрузить дыру! Идём.

00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:18,528

Увы, но наш отец умер.

00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,170

Уокер? Ты здесь?

00:15:23,565 --> 00:15:25,425

Я - Уокер.

00:15:26,412 --> 00:15:31,142

Д-д-дождь льёт уже несколько дней.

00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:33,956

Чё он, блядь, творит?

00:15:34,617 --> 00:15:35,840

Что это с ним?

00:15:36,119 --> 00:15:38,997

Он голый. И почему у него такой больной вид?

00:15:40,396 --> 00:15:41,490

Он умирает.

00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,044

Блядь. Я должен вытащить его отсюда.

00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:47,355

Но тогда придётся выбраться и мне самому.

00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:50,696

Я не хочу. Я не хочу, Дайен.

00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,677

Похоже, потерять тебя и правда

мой главный страх.

00:15:52,698 --> 00:15:55,408

Это хороший страх, Рик.

Береги его.

00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:58,234

Если не сбережёшь, то убьёшь меня.

Снова.

00:15:58,662 --> 00:16:01,165

Знаю.

Но я не хочу убивать Морти.

00:16:01,186 --> 00:16:04,647

Откуда тебе знать, что он настоящий?

Посмотри на его странные яички.

00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,192

Прощай, Дайен.

00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:11,524

Рик?

00:16:11,544 --> 00:16:12,275

Завали, Морти.

00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,074

ДиДжей, дай-ка нам бит!

Мы должны побороть страх!

00:16:17,582 --> 00:16:19,918

♪ Этой мой внучара, ♪

♪ не смотри на его мудя. ♪

00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:22,659

♪ Чем пялиться на Морти, ♪

♪ лучше глянь на меня! ♪

00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,314

♪ Я членом машу, ♪

♪ а вот жопа без прикрас, ♪

00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:28,171

♪ Поболтаю макарошкой, ♪

♪ Риканутый мастеркласс! ♪

00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:30,757

♪ Я не умею читать рэп ♪

♪ И не умею рифмовать, ♪

00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,384

♪ Я не умею читать рэп. ♪

♪ Пожрите говна. ♪

00:16:34,422 --> 00:16:35,789

Невероятно.

00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,646

♪ Поднимите вверх ♪

♪ И опустите вниз. ♪

00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:41,100

♪ Поднимите руки вверх ♪

♪ А теперь вниз. ♪

00:16:41,761 --> 00:16:44,354

- Три дня дождя.

- Три дня дождя.

00:16:46,926 --> 00:16:49,353

Невероятное мастерство

человеческого мужества.

00:16:49,528 --> 00:16:52,320

Нагота всегда делает театр

лучше и серьёзнее.

00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,789

Как себя чувствуешь?

00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:55,461

Принятым. А ты?

00:16:55,568 --> 00:16:56,270

Ничтожным.

00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,493

Но... счастливым?

00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:15,260

Получилось! Мы побороли свои страхи.

Да?

00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:23,729

Эй, Рик, у тебя такой печальный вид, и...

я боюсь...

00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,604

ну... быть причиной твоей печали.

00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:29,817

Поэтому мне кажется, что мы до сих пор в Дыре.

00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:33,800

Что ж. Я точно боюсь, когда ты знаешь

что-то, чего не знаю я.

00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,467

Так что да, я уверен на все сто, что мы до сих пор...

00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,762

Твою налево! Это место - настоящая дыра.

00:17:40,783 --> 00:17:41,868

Не каламбурь, Морти.

00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,349

Чтобы выбраться отсюда, надо понять,

какие страхи подлинные.

00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:45,705

Подлинные страхи?

00:17:45,726 --> 00:17:47,582

Да. Какие сраные страхи ты должен побороть?

00:17:47,603 --> 00:17:51,226

Да я буквально распял себя на кресте,

чтобы спасти тебя от жены из Дыры.

00:17:51,247 --> 00:17:53,833

По-твоему, это у меня остались непокорённые страхи?

00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:57,468

Я боюсь, что мы никогда не выберемся,

потому что ты никогда не признаешь, что тебе страшно!

00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:02,970

Ну всё, молодец. Ты его поборол, да?

00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,627

Наверное? А как вообще понять?

00:18:05,648 --> 00:18:07,435

Не-не-не. Мы в реальном мире, я точно знаю.

00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:11,482

А ты не боишься допустить ошибку,

даже когда в чём-то уверен?

00:18:12,962 --> 00:18:13,967

Трусливый говнюк!

00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:15,381

Откуда мне было знать?

00:18:18,311 --> 00:18:20,075

Восемь долларов за дополнительный бекон?

00:18:20,759 --> 00:18:22,139

Ты, блядь, издеваешься?

00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,991

Всегда есть чего бояться, Морти.

00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,214

Если капитализм рухнет...

00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:26,331

Может, это всё?

00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:29,197

Не знаю. А сама Дыра тебя не пугает немного?

00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:29,781

Что?

00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:34,467

Не дай бог мы будем два сезона

вылезать из этой блядской дыры.

00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,408

Может, теперь всё?

00:18:35,428 --> 00:18:36,072

Что?

00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:39,263

Может, надо было оставить наш страх

перед неуверенностью? Понимаешь?

00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,894

Да. Для нас это уже как вторая натура.

00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:44,139

Ладно, спасибо, Дыра.

00:18:44,159 --> 00:18:44,941

Спасибо, Дыра!

00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:48,340

Нам уже всё равно, внутри тебя мы или нет,

так что... пока.

00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:57,789

Боишься, что мы ещё там?

00:18:57,810 --> 00:19:00,552

Ну, надеюсь, что нет, но если мы там...

00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,415

То узнаем рано или поздно.

00:19:01,435 --> 00:19:02,691

И больше меня это не пугает.

00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:04,922

И меня.

Ладно, пойду нажрусь.

00:20:18,406 --> 00:20:20,778

О господи, я теперь вылитый батя!

00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,627

Может, выхода нет?

Может, мы здесь и родились?

00:20:26,389 --> 00:20:28,005

Да ладно, мы разберёмся.

00:20:28,025 --> 00:20:29,392

Я останусь здесь.

00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:32,036

Нет. Мы - Рик и Морти.

Без тебя я не уйду.

00:20:32,728 --> 00:20:33,854

Что ты сказал?

00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:36,857

Я сказал, что не брошу тебя здесь.

Идём. Ты незаменим.

00:20:39,475 --> 00:20:39,982

Что?

00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:42,570

О боже. Я знаю, чего боюсь.

00:20:42,788 --> 00:20:45,082

Я боюсь, что ты никогда не скажешь

эти слова в реальности.

00:20:45,268 --> 00:20:49,317

Я боюсь, что если прыгну в Дыру,

ты даже и не подумаешь прыгнуть вслед за мной.

00:20:49,338 --> 00:20:53,175

Ты просто будешь стоять и смотреть.

Всё это время страх был моим.

00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,503

Тебя вообще нет в этой Дыре, верно?

00:20:57,763 --> 00:20:59,787

Спасибо, что посетил Дыру Страха, Морти.

00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:03,270

Твой страх постоянно полагаться на Рика

был очень вкусным.

00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:06,026

Боже мой!

00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:10,456

Морти! Как оно? Чё там было, пауки?

00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:14,095

Оооо... вот блин... господи, нет. Ты...

00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:16,153

Ты даже не запрыгнул?

00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:19,853

Нет, это аттракцион на одного.

Нельзя столкнуться сразу с двумя страхами.

00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:21,800

Если бы я боялся огня,

и ты - воды...

00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:23,239

Я понял. Всё хорошо.

00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:26,968

Не, серьёзно.

00:21:27,395 --> 00:21:29,522

Ты и правда уже не так... обременён.

00:21:29,543 --> 00:21:32,379

Рик. А я... незаменим?

00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,497

Что в твоём понимании "незаменим"?

00:21:34,517 --> 00:21:36,121

Сойдёт. Сойдёт.

00:21:37,554 --> 00:21:38,236

Я вернулся.

00:21:39,609 --> 00:21:41,737

Нет! А то не пойму, что вылез.

00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:43,130

Настолько круто? Может, тоже нырнуть?

00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:43,634

Нет.

00:21:44,115 --> 00:21:45,103

Тебе жалко что ли?

00:21:45,653 --> 00:21:47,488

Не стоит с этим связываться, Рик.

00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:50,986

Там творился натуральный психологический пиздец.

Даже Дайен там была.

00:21:51,007 --> 00:21:51,372

Что?

00:21:51,392 --> 00:21:52,300

В плохом смысле.

00:21:52,523 --> 00:21:53,750

Поверь на слово.

00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,511

Ладно, дружище.

Пойдём жиранём оладьев.

00:22:45,753 --> 00:22:49,549

Ооой-ёёёй! Ну как вам? Седьмой сезон!

00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,926

Какая опасная была ситуёвина.

00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:56,827

Помните, когда я спёр своего ребёнка?

Я ещё вот эту штуку спёр.

00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:05,214

Самое главное - поставить перед собой цель

и добиться её всеми возможными способами.

00:23:05,327 --> 00:23:08,246

И тогда ты состоишься как человек.

00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,825

[ Electricity crackling ]

00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,999

{\an8}I'm gonna rip out

your spleen

00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,375

{\an8}and feed it

to your husband!

00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,960

{\an8}Uh-oh.

Wouldn't want that.

00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,504

{\an8}Yikes, Morty, we'd better run

before it figures out

00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,505

{\an8}what a husband is.

00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,965

{\an8}This carnival

of nightmares

00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,258

{\an8}used to be scary, right?

00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,718

{\an8}Eh.

We've seen too much.

00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,304

{\an8}It sucks, you know,

'cause it's fun to break off

00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,513

{\an8}a scare now and then.

00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,931

{\an8}Did I hear you fellas

wishin' for some

00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,475

{\an8}good old fashioned

scares?

00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,769

{\an8}I mean, I more wish

you wouldn't eavesdrop.

00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,936

{\an8}Yeah, who are you?

00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,313

{\an8}Does the suit mean

you work here,

00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,981

{\an8}or that you super

don't work here?

00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,817

{\an8}Like yourselves,

I'm a connoisseur of fear.

00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,194

{\an8}I'm also originally

from Earth.

00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,112

{\an8}And did you know

Earth is the home

00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,907

{\an8}of the single scariest place

in the galaxy?

00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,408

{\an8}I can show you

if you like.

00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,244

{\an8}We were headed

that way anyway.

00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,662

{\an8}Take a left.

Almost there.

00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,164

{\an8}We know

where Earth is.

00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,166

{\an8}For guys like you, you know,

who've seen it all,

00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,169

{\an8}there's only a few real fears

left to conquer.

00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:31,132

{\an8}And one of them is

right down here.

00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,219

{\an8}Okay, what the hell?

00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,845

{\an8}Yeah, this

is punching down.

00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,680

{\an8}Denny's is a nice chain

that gives people starchy food

00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,349

{\an8}when they're up late.

It's a hack joke, buddy.

00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,393

{\an8}No, this is the place.

Good luck to both of you.

00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,395

{\an8}I'm gonna get myself a slam.

00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,189

{\an8}He just wanted

a ride, right?

00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,483

{\an8}He certainly

took us for one.

00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,110

{\an8}Welp, as long

as we're here.

00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:53,196

{\an8}Okay, Lumberjack Slam,

Grand Slamwhich,

00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,740

{\an8}Pancake Puppies,

Slamburger, two milkshakes...

00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:56,991

{\an8}and an order of Cheddar Tots.

00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,660

{\an8}Let me know when you want

your check,

00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,662

{\an8}and if you're here for The Hole,

it's in the men's bathroom.

00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,830

{\an8}The what now?

Hole?

00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,541

{\an8}The Fear Hole.

Men's bathroom.

00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,885

{\an8}Well, it's definitely

a hole.

00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,470

{\an8}They weren't

lying about that.

00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,639

{\an8}Is that hair?

Seaweed?

00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,683

{\an8}Boy, it's really circling

the whole rim, huh.

00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,394

{\an8}Guess you got to jump in

without touching the sides?

00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,062

{\an8}You think there's spikes

on the bottom?

00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,730

{\an8}I don't think

they want you to go in there

00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,940

{\an8}and just die.

00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,275

{\an8}What kind of business

would that be?

00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,651

{\an8}Well, they're not

drowning in money.

00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,820

{\an8}They still have

a built-in TV/VCR.

00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,988

{\an8}Morty: Hey, it's

that carnival guy.

00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,364

{\an8}Oh, so he

gets a kickback.

00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,075

{\an8}Hi. Welcome to The Hole.

Here's how it works.

00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,744

{\an8}You jump in. The Hole manifests

your greatest fear.

00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,914

{\an8}You conquer that fear,

and come out, well, fearless.

00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,583

{\an8}And you get your picture

on the wall!

00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,376

{\an8}What does The Hole

get out of it?

00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,296

{\an8}Well, you know those fish that

nibble dead skin off your feet?

00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,047

{\an8}Yeah, the Hole's kind of

like that.

00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,340

{\an8}It eats fear.

00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,802

{\an8}You win. It wins.

Have fun, and enjoy the Ho-

00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,762

{\an8}Woman: Hey, Gaddafi,

cool your jets

00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,264

{\an8}with a taste of Mountain Dew!

00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,224

{\an8}This has been here

since VHS tapes

00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,893

{\an8}and there's only

three photos?

00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,144

{\an8}Yeah, my tots

are getting cold.

00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,896

{\an8}So you don't

want to do it?

00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,188

{\an8}Do you?

I mean...

00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,274

It says it takes away

your greatest fear.

00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,943

My greatest fear, Morty,

is trusting a gross hole

00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,112

to conquer my fear,

and I conquer that fear

00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,322

by walking away.

00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,616

Okay, fine.

00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,783

[ Yelps, panting ]

00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,328

You little turd!

00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,787

[ Screams ]

00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,498

Oh, God!

00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,375

[ Screams ]

00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,546

Hold still while I stuff

you with maggots!

00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,257

Rick!

00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,552

Okay, the Hole thinks I'm scared

of not having a gun?

00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,471

[ Grunting ]

00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,556

[ Laughs ]

Fear conquered!

00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,807

[ Grunting ]

00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,559

Check out them gains!

Morty!

00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,852

Where are you, Morty?

00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:48,937

Let's go!

00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,648

Oh, jeez!

Oh, God, oh, jeez!

00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,316

We both shit our pants!

What a fuckin' ride!

00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,193

Christ, Rick!

My button. Maggots.

00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,569

In my button!

00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,820

Fuck yeah, on the wall,

motherfucker!

00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,740

It's not worth it!

Not worth it!

00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,203

Oh, my God, you both reek.

What is that?

00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,746

Morty and I

shit our pants.

00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,290

You're looking at the two

newest members of the Hole Club.

00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,459

Uh, okay, sluts.

00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,252

[ Screams ]

What the hell?

00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:16,130

Bomb almost killed her.

00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:20,176

Take care of our wife.

00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,387

Rick?

No! Oh, my God.

00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,013

No. No!

00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,932

Mom?

Where am I?

00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,016

Who are you people?

00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,184

You're my mom, but,

00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,310

you're young?

00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,020

Rick,

what's happening?

00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,605

W-Wait.

00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,856

Rick?

00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,900

What the fuck, Grandpa?

Say something!

00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,527

Okay, we're clearly

still in the hole.

00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,070

That's exactly

what I was thinking.

00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,697

We never left

the hole and--

00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,699

And part of the hole is thinking

you left the hole and then--

00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,200

And then it can

really dig into you.

00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,743

Because you can't really be

scared of anything

00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,786

if you know you're--

00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,162

Together:

Still in the hole.

00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,580

What the fuck are you

two talking about?

00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,040

Why is dead Grandma alive

in our living room?

00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,500

Rick, why are you old?

00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,876

All great questions.

00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,295

You guys get reacquainted

while we grab some equipment.

00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,840

Wait, are we sure this isn't,

like, a double mislead?

00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,342

A double mislead like we went

into a generic fear hole

00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,511

and then coincidentally

came home to that?

00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,471

That's...

That's my wife.

00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,223

From the day I lost her.

00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:10,351

Well, what's it got

to do with me?

00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,561

Rick!

Right.

00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,895

I think I figured

it out, Morty.

00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,814

Your greatest fear is me

getting Diane back

00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,733

and being happy again.

What? Why?

00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,151

Because then

I won't need you.

00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,861

Look how scared you're getting

just talking about it.

00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,571

I'm not scared,

I'm insulted,

00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,406

what kind of backhanded-ass

theory is that?

00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,366

My greatest fear

is you hooking up?

00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,452

You're right.

We can't know for sure

00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,870

until I get more data.

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,581

Alright, family, who wants

to catch up over ice cream?

00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,208

I knew he was working

on teleportation.

00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,045

But wouldn't this be

time travel?

00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,796

Oh, Dad never

touches time travel.

00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,256

Ye calls it the Long--

00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,133

The Long Island Iced Tea of

science fiction, yes,

00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,885

but then what--

what is this?

00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,595

Don't worry about it.

It's not real.

00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,930

Okay. I figure it's better

to do this in front of you.

00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,599

I didn't want to walk

in de-aged.

00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,434

What do you think, D?

45? Younger?

00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,061

I don't care about

your age, Rick.

00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,063

I don't even want

to call you that.

00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,315

That's my husband's name.

He just died.

00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,692

I know. So, 27?

00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,569

Dad!

You're traumatizing her.

00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,779

What?

It's my face, too.

00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,280

And now Diane gets

to understand

00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,324

that I'm still sexy

and a genius.

00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,950

[ Scoffs ]

What a kindness.

00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,286

You were right, Rick.

I'm really terrified right now.

00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,621

Terrified of what?

00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,456

If you don't mind,

I'd like to get to know

00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,876

the adult version of my--

Oh, my God.

00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,503

Where's my real daughter?

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,837

Sweetie,

it's all right.

00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,339

This may as well be

our real daughter

00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,132

because she's just

as real as you.

00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,217

What?

Put it this way.

00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,927

You're all

basically NPCs.

00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,136

Only Morty

and I are real,

00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,596

so your side quests

don't matter.

00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,473

The main quest is us.

00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,682

You're disgusting.

00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:32,934

You're talking about

00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,852

our baby girl like

she's theoretical?

00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,895

Welcome to the family.

00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,355

No, you don't

get it, honey.

00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,065

Even if this was real,

she'd be only a version

00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,983

of your daughter who could also

be a clone of your daughter.

00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,027

Stop wearing

my husband's face!

00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:44,112

You're nothing like him!

00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,321

Because I lost you!

00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:48,449

Maybe you

didn't deserve me!

00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,413

You want to

hear a new theory?

00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:57,917

Maybe your greatest fear

is getting a second chance

00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,460

with her and blowing it.

00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,212

You don't think that fear's

been pretty well faced?

00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,089

Then you haven't

conquered it.

00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,299

Or accepted it.

Or something.

00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,093

"Or something?"

I'm not a fearologist!

00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,678

Morty, all rom-coms

have an arc.

00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,638

Even "You've Got Mail"

begins with Tom Hanks

00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,806

killing that cop.

Really?

00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,141

I don't know.

I'm not going to

00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,517

fucking watch

"You've Got Mail."

00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,977

I'm doing this

for you, Morty.

00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,520

The sooner I get her back,

the sooner you can conquer

00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,064

your fear of being

a useless, lonely turd.

00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,109

You don't think

that's been faced?

00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,782

♪ Hello, Diane, here's

the song I rehearsed ♪

00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,535

♪ You had a bad day

and Rick made it worse ♪

00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,871

♪ He felt bad,

so he created me ♪

00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,707

♪ I deliver you

waffles and an apology ♪

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,042

Why do I have memories

of being a human child?

00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,711

Why would I need--

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,588

Goddamnit, there was

a whole second verse

00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,506

about inviting you

to the zoo with the family.

00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,050

I've seen

that robot's arms.

00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,094

Yeah, I used them

on a law enforcement drone

00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,387

that the Feds

had me build.

00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:55,433

It's how we, uh--

How I met my wife.

00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,643

The zoo sounds nice.

00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,562

And this one time,

we raised a civilization

00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,897

living on

a zit on my face,

00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,607

and Grandpa helped me

rule over it as queen.

00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,151

It sounds like you guys

are a real family now.

00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,361

I wish you could've

been part of it, Mom.

00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,988

Oh.

00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,406

Oh, honey.

00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,575

Rick, is there a deadline

on this theory you're chasing?

00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:16,245

Uh, yeah, sure.

Uh, that's a good idea, Morty.

00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,539

Do that.

00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,292

I always wished I knew

what they were saying.

00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,501

Your Master's thesis.

00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:23,628

Non-human Intelligence.

00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,338

When did you read that?

00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,631

After you were gone.

00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,799

It helped me

develop this.

00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:31,427

Fuck you.

Fuck you, Greg!

00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,054

Fuck you, Lisa!

Yum, bread.

00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,514

- No, fuck you!

- Fuck you! There's bread.

00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,765

I guess that's

what I expected?

00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,766

Anticlimactic,

isn't it?

00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,227

Yep, they kind of suck.

00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,646

[ Both laughing ]

00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,524

Hey, want to

grab a drink?

00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,443

Whoo!

Alright, yeah!

00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,320

[ Laughing ]

00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,498

Oh, when did you stop

being a lightweight?

00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,251

Kept looking for my wife

at the bottom of a bottle.

00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,627

You're pathetic.

00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,630

Hey.

To being pathetic.

00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,010

Clear!

00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,595

[ Electricity crackling ]

00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,347

{\an8}[ Both belching ]

00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,479

[ Retches ]

00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,273

My turn, my turn.

00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,691

[ Retches ]

00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,361

[ Laughs ] I'll tell

you what, old man.

00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:34,031

Seems like losing me made you

cooler. [ Chuckles ]

00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,658

I should

die more often.

00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:36,826

[ Both chuckle ]

00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,244

You did.

00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,997

You died everywhere forever.

00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,873

You're the only thing

I can't replace.

00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,001

Okay, okay,

Mr. Weepy.

00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,086

I'm not even

real, remember?

00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,672

Nothing's real.

That's your jam, right?

00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,175

My grandson, our grandson,

thinks this is happening

00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,469

because my greatest fear

is letting you go.

00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,554

Then don't.

00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,847

I don't want to.

Then kiss me.

00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,849

I'm old,

and we have puke mouth.

00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,935

Well, I'm not here,

and it's not real puke.

00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:10,609

{\an8}♪

00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,236

Okay, Rick-- whoa!

Dude!

00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,696

Fuck you, Morty.

It's a blazer.

00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,698

That's not what I meant.

You look sick.

00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,991

The hole

is feeding on you.

00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,701

I thought it's supposed

to eat my fear.

00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,244

Can we get some fucking

rules up in this hole?

00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,121

I don't know the rules!

Maybe you're just dying

00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,789

because you've been

in here too long!

00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,041

Interesting theory.

00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,792

I wonder why you're

so rosy-cheeked.

00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,252

What are you saying?

00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,046

Maybe the real you is off

somewhere running from spiders.

00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,464

Oh, so now

I'm not real?

00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,382

Yeah, maybe my greatest fear

is having to tell you to

00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,717

fuck the fuck off.

00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,052

Go ahead and face it!

Fuck the fuck off!

00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,845

Hey.

Ready to Showbiz Pizza?

00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,889

Let me see

that bear play banjo!

00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,931

Here's one for ya.

00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,725

I'm afraid

of watching you die.

00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:46,270

I like that theory, Morty.

So stop watching.

00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,359

Okay, this is it.

You nailed it.

00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:55,196

My worst nightmare.

I'd like to leave The Hole now.

00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,907

Hey. Hey, Hole,

I'm talking to you.

00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,909

Are you listening?

00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,084

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,378

So, what are you,

like, the Hole?

00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,754

The Hole's promoter?

00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,422

The Hole's intern?

Is there a hole here?

00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,092

Right, I'm supposed to go

in there and be shocked

00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,761

that there's no hole,

or that there is a hole?

00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:19,929

What difference

would it make?

00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,139

Hm, you are

hard to scare.

00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,474

And Rick isn't, right?

00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,434

The Hole's gonna, like,

suck on him forever

00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:28,479

because his big secret

is that he's got the most fear?

00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,314

Well, we can certainly say

you're not afraid

00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,482

to be reductive.

00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,275

I doubt your grandpa

has "more" fear

00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,027

than the average asshole

in a Denny's.

00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,237

Man: Hey!

Sorry.

00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,738

If anything,

he seems pretty brave.

00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,448

He's certainly not

afraid to die.

00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,952

Maybe that makes his

fear extra delicious.

00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,289

So, what,

he's scared of love?

00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,166

Everyone's scared of

love, dipshit.

00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,376

You'll learn that

in your '20s.

00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,545

It takes a very rare,

very powerful

00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,172

being to be terrified

of happiness.

00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,882

Dumb.

You're dumb.

00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,259

That's why you're not scared

to be happy.

00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,635

The smarter you are,

the more you know.

00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,346

Happiness is a trap.

It can't last forever.

00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,973

Let's say you meet the love

of your life,

00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,516

well, it's still

gonna end.

00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,686

It's inevitable, whether

by the slow pull of a disease,

00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,896

or the shock of loose footing

on a hiking trail,

00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,149

whether it be the corrosion

of two personalities

00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,609

that reshape each other

until they're incompatible,

00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,986

or maybe the old

stranger in a bar

00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,821

who says the things

that need to be said,

00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,198

to that person,

that night.

00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,660

The point is,

happiness always ends.

00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,495

Best case scenario,

think about this.

00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:30,791

Best case is that you die

at the same time.

00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:31,959

Yikes.

00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,335

Can't the Hole just

let me go then?

00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,004

Sounds like I don't matter.

You don't.

00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,755

But if you go,

you'll take him away.

00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,965

Don't worry.

00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,425

Rick will die before

accepting happiness.

00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,802

After that, we'll chase you

with some clowns

00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,387

or some dumb shit

like that.

00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,847

But Grandpa...[ Chuckles ]

00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,600

Yummy, yummy.

Grandpa's gonna die.

00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,852

Just like Diane.

00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,187

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,230

[ Laughs ]

00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,358

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:59,028

Sir, you've been in this booth

for a really long time.

00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,529

One coffee

isn't gonna cut it.

00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,698

That's fair. Want to split

some pancake puppies?

00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:03,949

No!

00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,661

[ Screams ] Beth!

Summer? Anyone!

00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,038

Dad, it's not real.

Neither are you.

00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,707

If that's true,

then you deal with it!

00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:14,168

You know what?

You're right.

00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,463

[ Screams ]

How about this?

00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,881

Morty!

What are you doing?

00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,841

Being scared!

00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,968

[ Screaming ]

00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,595

[ Gulps ]

00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,305

How is that not enough fear?

00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,224

You're the one

scaring me, Morty!

00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,600

No, no, Dad,

it's okay.

00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,228

It's not okay!

That wasn't normal!

00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,896

[ Rumbling ]

00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,399

My greatest fear

is not being accepted.

00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,776

It should be!

00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,028

And you need to fear it

a hell of a lot more!

00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,404

[ Rumbling ]

00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,864

I can do that.

00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,866

You like that?

Do you want to die?

00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:50,246

I have enough unaddressed trauma

to flood this hallway.

00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,206

You fuckin' idiot,

this list says

00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,959

"Top Five Things", and you

only wrote down four.

00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,002

[ Laughter ]

00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,380

[ Rumbling ]

00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,258

Trust fall!

00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,843

None of us touch or speak

to this kid ever.

00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,262

[ Rumbling ]

00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,681

Morty: Maybe take a picture,

send it to your friends?

00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,432

Huh. Not a bad idea.

[ Rumbling ]

00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,310

How can we do the school play

if Johnny has laryngitis?

00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,687

There's no understudy!

00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,273

Put me in the play.

You don't know the lines.

00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,817

Yes, I do.

"Three Days of Rain."

00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,193

I have it memorized.

00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,945

And I refuse to prove that

until you cast me.

00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,447

Have it your way, but

The New York Times is coming,

00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,700

and they're doing a feature

on the current state

00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,243

of young American theater.

00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,287

[ Rumbling ]

00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,788

Perfect.

00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,623

It ended in a church?

What?

00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:38,127

Yeah, they'd already died.

It was purgatory or something.

00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,878

How did your universe's

version end?

00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:42,172

Mm, Jack, Locke, and Sawyer

teamed up to kill a fog monster

00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,799

and everyone got rescued.

00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,010

It was one season long,

and it was perfect television.

00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,637

You can be great or you can be

around forever, right?

00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:54,184

True. True.

00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,184

Where's this going?

00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,812

We doing robot role play?

I've got oil at home.

00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,147

[ Rumbling ]

00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,315

What was that?

True. True. True. True.

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,649

Diane.

Diane? Diane?

00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,318

Hey. Stay with me.

Diane. Diane.

00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,611

Diane?

Rick?

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,820

What's happening?

00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,739

Fuckin' Morty!

He's trying to hog the hole.

00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,532

Come on!

00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,709

Alas, our

father is dead.

00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,794

Walker, are you here?

00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,046

[ Crowd gasping ]

00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:26,508

Uh, hi.

I'm Walker. Uh...

00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,594

Sure has been raining

00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,721

a lot of days.

00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,222

[ Rumbling ]

00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,849

What the fuck

is he doing?

00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,517

[ Groans ]

What's wrong with him?

00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,685

He's naked.

00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,855

And why does he look sick?

00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,775

Because he's dying.

00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,817

Fuck.

00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,903

I got to get

him out of here.

00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,696

But if I do, I might

have to go with him.

00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,282

I don't want to.

I don't want to, Diane,

00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,034

I think my greatest fear

is letting you go.

00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,037

That's a good fear, Rick.

Keep that fear.

00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,997

If you don't,

you'll kill me.

00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,499

Again.

00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,709

I know. But I don't have

to kill Morty, too.

00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,544

How do you know

he's even real?

00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,798

Look at his weird

little balls.

00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,591

Goodbye, Diane.

00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,343

[ Gasping ]

00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,221

Rick!

Shut up Morty.

00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,140

DJ, drop that beat.

We got to conquer a fear!

00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,892

[ Music playing ]

00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,060

♪ This is my grandson ♪

00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,353

♪ Don't look at his pee-pee ♪

00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,729

♪ Instead of staring at Morty ♪

00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,106

♪ Put your eyes on me-me ♪

00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,399

♪ I'm a roped-out freak ♪

00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,775

♪ Loose dog in my ass ♪

00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:25,984

♪ Macaroni in my pocket ♪

00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,569

♪ Rickity masterclass ♪

00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,862

♪ I don't know how to rap ♪

00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,239

♪ I don't know how to rhyme ♪

00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,074

♪ I don't know how to rap ♪

00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,535

♪ Now eat my shit! ♪

00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,828

Incredible.

00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,079

♪ Now throw your hands up! ♪

00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,372

♪ And put your hands down ♪

00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,873

♪ Throw your hands up ♪

00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,291

♪ Now put them back down ♪

00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:44,211

♪ Three days of rain ♪

00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,255

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,924

That was an astounding feat

of personal bravery.

00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:52,302

Nudity always makes theater

serious and good.

00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,595

How do you feel?

00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,347

Accepted. You?

00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,599

Pathetic. But...

00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,851

happy?

00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,270

[ Rumbling ]

00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,780

[ Gasping ]

00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,575

We did it!

We conquered our fears.

00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,909

Right?

00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,164

Uh, hey, Rick.

00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,208

You just looked real sad,

which I'm afraid of.

00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,170

You know, of being responsible

for your sadness.

00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,465

Which means, I think

we might still be in The Hole.

00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,425

Huh. Well,

I am definitely afraid

00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,343

of you ever knowing

anything before me.

00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:37,806

So, yeah, I'd say there's a 100%

chance that we're still--

00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,434

God damn it. Is this

going to be a whole thing?

00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,227

No word play, Morty.

We have to figure out

00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,979

our actual fears if we're ever

going to get out of here.

00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,439

Actual fears?

Yeah.

00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,191

Tell me your fuckin' fear

so we can conquer it.

00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,567

I just had

to crucify myself

00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,486

in order to save you

from your Hole wife,

00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,197

and you think I'm the one

with unresolved fears?

00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,157

I ought to be afraid that

we'll never get out,

00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,701

because you'll never admit

that you're afraid!

00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,120

[ Both groan ]

00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,790

Okay. Good job.

You conquered it, right?

00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,167

I think so.

How are we supposed to know?

00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,668

No, no, this is real.

I can tell.

00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,504

You're not afraid that you

could be certain

00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:12,508

about something

and still turn out to be wrong?

00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,009

[ Groans ]

You cowardly asshole!

00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,803

How was I supposed

to know?!

00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,723

$8 for a side of bacon!

00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,809

[ Groans ] Are you fucking

kidding me?!

00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,685

It's a symptom of

a larger concern, Morty.

00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,020

If capitalism collapses--

00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,647

Are we done here?

I don't know.

00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,190

Aren't you a little

afraid at this point

00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,192

of The Hole itself?

What? [ Gasps ]

00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,194

I swear to God, if we're

still climbing out of this

00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,029

fucking Hole

two seasons from now.

00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,447

Maybe that was it.

What?

00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,325

Maybe we needed to let go of

our fear of uncertainty.

00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,952

You know?

Right.

00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,329

I'd say we're pretty native

to that at this point.

00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,248

Okay, thank you, Hole!

Thank you, Hole!

00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,583

We no longer need to know

if we're in you.

00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,378

So, bye.

00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,219

Are you afraid

we're still in it?

00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,720

I mean, I hope

we're not,

00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,931

but if we are--

We'll find out eventually.

00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,266

Which no longer

scares me.

00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,477

Same. Okay.

I'm gonna go get drunk.

00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,354

{\an8}♪

00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:13,235

♪ Move on they say, you'll

feel better with time ♪

00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:18,198

♪ But time alone can't heal

this heart of mine ♪

00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:25,873

♪ You can't go back,

that's the only rule ♪

00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:31,587

♪ But rules were meant to break

when it comes to you ♪

00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:38,176

♪ I saw time and time

slip by when I withdrew ♪

00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:44,141

♪ I wandered far and wide

without you ♪

00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,935

♪ Without you ♪

00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:57,613

{\an8}♪

00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:04,119

♪ So I bury my dead,

and I try to start again ♪

00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:10,292

♪ But it will never be the same

as it was back then ♪

00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:16,465

♪ I've seen time and time

slip by, but I'll make do ♪

00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,342

♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪

00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,303

Oh, my God!

I've turned into my dad!

00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,931

Oh, maybe there's

no way out.

00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,599

Maybe we were

born here.

00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,726

[ Groans ] Come on.

We're gonna get through this.

00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,269

I'm staying here.

00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,189

No. We're Rick and Morty.

I'm not leaving without you.

00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,357

What did you say?

00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,816

I said I'm not leaving you

in here.

00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,526

Come on.

You're irreplaceable...

00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,029

[ Echoing ] irreplaceable...

irreplaceable...

00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,781

What?

Oh, my God!

00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,324

I know what I'm afraid of.

00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,534

I'm afraid you'd never say

that in real life.

00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,495

I'm afraid that if

I jumped into a hole,

00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,664

you wouldn't even bother

jumping in after me.

00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,499

You'd just stand there

and watch.

00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,834

This entire thing

has been about me.

00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:57,172

You're not even in the Hole,

are you?

00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,216

Thank you for visiting

the Fear Hole, Morty.

00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,970

Your fear of relying on Rick

has been delicious.

00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,639

Dear God!

00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,850

Rick: Morty!

How was it?

00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,143

Was it spiders?

00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,438

Oh. Oh, jeez.

Oh, my God, no.

00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,524

You-- You didn't

go in at all?

00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,942

No, it's

a one-person ride.

00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,819

You can't face two fears

at the same time.

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,279

If my fear was fire

and yours was water--

00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,699

I get it.

It's fine.

00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,702

It really is fine. Huh.

00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,079

You do seem a little

less burdened.

00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,748

Rick, am I

irreplaceable?

00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:34,376

I mean, define irreplaceable.

00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,212

That's good. Good.

00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:38,839

I'm back.

00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,049

Don't! Or I won't know

if I'm out!

00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:42,217

Is it that good?

00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,468

Should I go in?

No!

00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,137

You holdin' out on me?

00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,847

You don't want to deal

with it, Rick.

00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,141

There was messed-up

mental shit in there.

00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,392

Like, Diane

was in there.

00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,144

What?

Not in a good way.

00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,603

Just trust me.

00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:56,857

Okay, buddy.

Let's go slam some pancakes.

00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,486

[ Panting ]

00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:45,405

{\an8}♪

00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:47,365

Ooh-whee.

How bout that?

00:22:47,365 --> 00:22:48,909

Season 7!

00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:51,536

It was touch and go there

for a second.

00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,955

Remember when I stole my kid?

00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:57,167

I stole one of these, too!

00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,838

It's all about having a goal

00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:04,633

and stopping at nothing

to achieve it!

00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,469

Then you'll be fulfilled!

00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,727

Did you get any of that?