Морт: Рагнарик

00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,094

- Hello, Jerry.

- Nana!

00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,054

Are you ready to come to the light?

00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,598

I’m not sure. Where’s Pop Pop?

00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,934

He’s not coming out to meet you anymore

00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,979

because honestly Jerry,

this is getting annoying.

00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,399

It’s not my fault! My father in law

asked me to help him gather data and...

00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,444

Not again!

00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,612

Okay, run diagnostics.

00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,701

Holy shit, this is consistent.

This is real.

00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,703

What have you done?

You’ve got my grandparents

00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,289

- pissed at me.

- They’ll forgive you because...

00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,125

they’re zero mass fields

of consciousness preserved

00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,086

by a paradimensional layer

of infinite energy.

00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,255

Morty, there’s kind of a heaven!

Kind of!

00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:50,091

I mean there definitely is for

a neurotypical like your father.

00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,677

His conscious connection

to a localized cultural model

00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,138

of infinity functions like a wick,

sucking his little mind

00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,890

straight towards a source of energy

strong enough

00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,642

- to support collective projection.

- Great, so there’s a heaven.

00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,729

Glad you could learn that

by murdering me eight times.

00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,147

He’s got kind of a point, Rick.

00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,858

If you want to get into heaven,

can’t you just stop being an asshole?

00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,652

First of all, I don’t want to

“get into” anywhere,

00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,529

I want to tap

this paradimension’s energy.

00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:14,908

Secondly, you wouldn’t catch me dead

in Jerry’s generic-ass nineteen eighties

00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,493

concrete and fog machine heaven.

00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,828

Well guess what,

you aren’t welcome there!

00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,623

You raise a good point, Jerry,

obviously by accident.

00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,500

My intact consciousness is too atheistic

00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,752

to get channeled

to any afterlife worth robbing.

00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,128

It’s a paradox.

00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,130

Unless...

00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,468

Morty, pack your parka.

We’re going to Norway.

00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,721

Or I can augment your skin

with subdermal heaters...

00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:37,847

I’ll pack a parka.

00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,882

{\an8}Infinite energy, Morty. You don’t even

know how to appreciate that

00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,676

{\an8}because you’ve never been

in energy debt.

00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,010

{\an8}Fuck you, I’ve been tired.

00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,721

{\an8}Perfect!

I’m going to Valhalla, Morty!

00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,640

{\an8}Your grandpa’s

going to be the first Valhallanaut!

00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,058

{\an8}Feel the excitement!

00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,520

{\an8}Getting back will be easy.

Once the machine turns on,

00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,230

{\an8}I’ll have set up

the other side of the relay.

00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,065

{\an8}Phoenix protocol initiated.

00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,359

{\an8}Just hit that big red button

to pull me into this body.

00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,737

{\an8}But how are you getting there?

I refuse to kill you again.

00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:38,116

{\an8}I’m desensitized, Rick.

I took some kind of test in school

00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,618

{\an8}and the counselor

had to call Homeland Security.

00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,744

{\an8}Not your problem, Morty.

00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,247

{\an8}I need to die in glorious battle

against a mighty enemy.

00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,875

{\an8}That’s why I got Bigfoot

in this Pokeball.

00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,084

{\an8}Bigfoot is your enemy?

00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,587

{\an8}Well, I doubt he’s a fan,

I stuffed him into a ball.

00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,255

{\an8}I mess with him all the time.

00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,340

{\an8}These Vikings don’t have

real tight bylaws, Morty.

00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,844

{\an8}This is basically their equivalent

of Native American burial grounds.

00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,221

{\an8}Bigfoot’s dumb enough

to attack whatever’s in front of him.

00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,848

{\an8}And all I gotta do is die.

00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,225

{\an8}What happens to Bigfoot after?

00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:08,396

{\an8}Morty, Bigfoot is a B story. The A story

is he kills me and you hit the button.

00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,689

{\an8}- Got it?

- Got it.

00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,775

{\an8}Alright, let’s do this!

00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,971

{\an8}Oh snap, I did it! Valhalla baby!

I’m Dead Rick!

00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,309

{\an8}Oh, shit, I’m dead Rick.

00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:55,485

{\an8}Welcome to Valhalla, brother.

We thought all Vikings had perished.

00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:59,489

{\an8}Nope. I was a straggler.

How’s it work here again?

00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:03,493

{\an8}We fight! We die! We feast!

And then we fight again!

00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,912

Cheers everybody, cheers!

00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,749

So, is there a time window

between battles

00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,960

where a guy could go off

and, I don’t know,

00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,503

gather resources?

00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,005

Yes, now you’ll receive your armor.

00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,008

Knock knock.

00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,720

You’re a new arrival.

What do you require?

00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,014

Honestly, I’d love to take

most of your tools.

00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,350

I’d planned on starting from scratch,

but you’re, like,

00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,061

way past the Iron Age here,

saves me a lot of time.

00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,397

I make only the finest for Valhalla.

00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,065

Beautiful hammer.

00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,026

So, in Valhalla, what happens

when we get knocked out?

00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,945

- Then we’re just knocked out.

- Cool.

00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,864

Is that a thing Vikings love?

00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:51,749

Oh God, brutal.

00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:02,510

Wait, what?

Bigfoot, do you have religion?

00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:08,057

You understand me, don’t you?

Does Rick do this to you all the time?

00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,602

He messes with me too.

00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,356

Easy there, big guy. Easy.

00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,087

Oh, shit!

00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,218

Look at this little one!

00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:48,097

You must be made of piss and dragon

balls to reach Valhalla at your age!

00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,476

Yeah, man! Dragon Balls all day.

00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,771

Have you seen

an old skinny guy around here?

00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,938

Of course!

00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,067

But wait, where did that guy go?

He should have his armor by now.

00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,613

What in the mighty

whale’s wooden cock?

00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,949

The old man!

He’s some kind of witch!

00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,160

A friend of yours?

00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,245

What? Why would I be friends

with a witch?

00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,622

- I was just asking!

- Well...

00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,625

that’s really offensive, man!

What is this, Judgmenthalla?

00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,585

I don’t know until I ask, alright?

00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,128

Somebody around here

gonna make me some pants

00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,214

or do I have to call the feds

on this place?

00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,593

Surrender, witch!

00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,305

Easy, guys.

This was all a test and you passed.

00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,306

I’m actually Odin.

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,557

- Odin?

- Yep!

00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,643

Thor’s father, Spiderman’s uncle,

et cetera.

00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,645

I came here to do like

an undercover boss thing,

00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,107

making sure Valhalla's running smooth,

which it is, and as your reward,

00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,151

I’m assembling this

majestic transdimensional energy relay

00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,487

which none of you should ever touch

or it’ll make your...

00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,448

goats have hemorrhoids, understood?

00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,742

And you need nothing from us?

00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,661

I’m only here a few hours,

but since you’re asking

00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,872

I’d kill for a beer and a sandwich.

Beef, cheese, no onions.

00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,165

- is someone writing this down?

- Ow my balls!

00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,460

- Ow my balls, ow my balls!

- Morty? Why are you here?

00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,629

You are friends with the witch!

00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,508

What the fuck, Morty!

You’re my ride home!

00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,844

Bigfoot killed me!

He killed you, he killed me,

00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,470

and he was going to kill your clone.

00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,514

No, Morty no!

00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,225

I opened the cage.

Bigfoot was burying your body.

00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,477

- He was mourning you!

- He does that.

00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,855

Morty, any big idiot can

pretend to believe in the afterlife,

00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,857

that’s why we’re dealing

with these fucking guys.

00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,317

They’re just Norwegian Bigfoots.

Jesus Christ!

00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,319

Run this cable over there.

We don’t have much time.

00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,834

Hull breach imminent.

Initiating survival protocol.

00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,370

We’ll take it from here.

00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,790

{\an8}And who are you? CIA? Interpol?

00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,084

We work for the man upstairs.

00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,757

Hello, Bigfoot. I’m The Pope.

00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,176

I’m sure you don’t know

what that means.

00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,471

Which is why I’ve been so eager

to acquire you.

00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:38,267

The Church, you see, has many enemies,

but also many rules.

00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,354

We can’t kill.

We can’t command a man to kill.

00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,147

But you are not a man.

00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,651

You are a thinking beast

from outside God’s domain,

00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,696

which will make you

the Vatican’s greatest weapon.

00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,157

Your holiness, he is wild.

He can’t be controlled.

00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,993

But we know what he wants.

00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,876

Yes, my child. Yes.

You will have your naked imbecile.

00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,463

But first you will work for me.

00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,969

Morty! Heads up! Incoming wave.

00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:20,935

Clear!

00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,771

- They’re sending more every time.

- It’s fine!

00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,691

I’ll upgrade the turret’s rate of fire,

but I need to finish this relay.

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,526

You need to figure out

how to get us back to life!

00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,152

Without my infinite energy?

00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,946

I don’t think you’re thinking

this through, Morty.

00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,490

If we manage to get home,

we don’t get another shot at this.

00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,118

You think the next time these idiots

see a naked man on the battlefield

00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,160

they’re gonna give him a beer?

00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,914

So you’d rather stay dead until

you win than live as a loser?

00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,000

Maybe you belong here

with these idiots.

00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,210

Yeah! I could probably teach hem

how to hit a red button!

00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,628

I said I was sorry.

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,549

And I said keep killing them

while I finish the relay.

00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,884

And I will get us back home. Okay?

00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,428

Okay!

00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,543

Okay, I’m done here.

Ready to get back to living?

00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,544

Yeah, but how?

00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,921

Morty, infinite energy

means infinite energy.

00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,883

All I have to do is pull a lever

to send us back home into new bodies.

00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,885

Then voila! No more need for crystals.

00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,221

But the second we turn our back those

guys are just going to trash this place.

00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,182

Morty. Ye of little faith.

00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,602

Do we even need to attack him?

00:10:57,656 --> 00:11:00,368

I told you I was Odin,

you faithless heretics!

00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,411

And I’ll keep blowing you

up in this pit forever

00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,997

unless you follow these commandments.

Spiderman?

00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,750

There’s ten of them,

but they basically

00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,628

revolve around not going

near the energy relay.

00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:14,006

Is anybody going to go near

the energy relay?

00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,010

Okay. You have pleased me.

I’ll get you guys...

00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:19,762

some kind of a ladder.

00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,431

Target is in sight.

00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,184

Excellent. Release the bait.

00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,731

I just love worshipping the devil

with you guys.

00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,127

Who are you? Only The Pope

wants to kill us but he can't kill...

00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,382

Yes. Very good.

00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,510

But we can do even better.

00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:08,060

You work for the Vatican!

Our enemies are your enemies!

00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,736

Yes! Yes!

00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:26,203

Here, my sweet.

This will help you communicate.

00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,540

I traded a Predator

three muskets for it.

00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,375

So it is their currency?

00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,044

Give me what you promised.

00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,797

Yes, child, you’ve earned it.

00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,800

Alright, Morty!

Wanna grab a mead for the road?

00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,052

- I’m good.

- Then, here we go!

00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,021

Man, I take back everything bad I said

about clone vats.

00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,689

There’s a method to the madness, Morty.

00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,360

And now... infinite energy, baby!

00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:01,697

What the...

00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,575

Someone’s hacking into the Earth

bound side of my relay, Morty.

00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,369

Pretty crazy! Whoever’s doing this

would have to be a spiritual leader

00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,871

with limitless resources.

00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,789

In fact,

I guess there’s only really one.

00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,795

You’re fucked.

00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,927

It is over. My torment ends now.

00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,308

What the hell? Are you seriously

working for the Pope?

00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:33,395

The pope saw my potential.

Prepare to be crushed by bigfoot.

00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,402

Don’t worry, Morty.

I’ve got this under control.

00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,823

Jesus Christ, Rick, just apologize.

00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:47,451

You assumed Bigfoot was dumb.

Which was dumb of you.

00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:50,579

You’re right, Morty. Underestimating

people only gives them the high ground.

00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,040

Admit why you bullied me.

00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,376

Because I thought it was funny

that you were stupid.

00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,712

People are intelligent

in different ways.

00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:02,508

I know, I know! I’m clearly stupid at

knowing when other people are smart.

00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,929

Listen! I know you

can’t tap your gauntlet,

00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,931

but I’ll take a guess

at what you’re saying.

00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,433

You hate me because I tortured you

to get what I want.

00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,353

- Rick!

- But I only used you to kill myself!

00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,647

How many people

have you killed for the Pope?

00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,942

Help me stop him

and I’ll make it right.

00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,319

For starters, here.

00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,739

That hurt. Wait a second...

00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,576

Yeah, hands-free.

Also upgraded that voice.

00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:33,122

Thank you. In a world,

where time actually is money.

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,623

I think I know this movie.

00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,625

You guys can do this

bit at the Vatican. Let’s go.

00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,130

Hey, Bigfoot.

Whatcha got back there?

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,506

Rick and Morty.

00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,801

Dead. For pope.

00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,303

Aye, that’s them.

00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:52,308

Alright, last thing!

I just gotta take a sharp stick

00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,227

and stab them both.

That’s just the rules.

00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,859

Sorry, Morty!

So much for the quiet way.

00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,320

- I appreciate that we tried.

- It’s a fucked-up rule.

00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,246

Pope!

00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,460

It’s over, the Pope! We got you.

00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,924

See, this is why religion sucks.

00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:28,886

Infinite energy and the Pope uses it

to levitate like Criss Angel.

00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,725

Alright, wow!

Not how I saw that going.

00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,687

I guess getting killed by the energy

sent us up the conduit to its source.

00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,023

Hey guys.

00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,691

- Oh fuck!

- No, no!

00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,153

Just need some clothes and horses.

Maybe not for Bigfoot.

00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,030

Unless he wants clothes?

00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,702

Excuse me, Lord Odin...

00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,830

- Is this a test?

- Yup yup! You passed!

00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,757

Feet so small.

00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,258

Why is he in a clone of Summer?

00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,011

Statistically speaking,

she’s the third most likely to die.

00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,013

Alright, let’s kill that sonofabitch.

00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,807

Hold on,

I can see where this is going.

00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,151

Pope!

00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,095

I gotta admit, Morty.

I didn’t really fight that time,

00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,430

I wanted to make sure this worked.

00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,474

- Hand-some.

- You like that? Bigger feet!

00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,268

Even gave your brain

a little more lobe.

00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,187

- Thank you! Me love it. Me...

- Dial it back!

00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,897

You don’t wanna come across

like a Muppet.

00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,237

Pope!

00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,542

Maybe we just portal

right up close to the guy

00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,043

instead of doing the guards

every time.

00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,503

Yeah.

00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,390

Maybe bigger chin?

00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,975

Look at this.

He’s fucking giving notes.

00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,811

Bigfoot, come on, we need you

to put a little more fight in.

00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,522

If need help,

Bigfoot do know some guys.

00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,484

Pope has... other monsters captive.

00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,696

Man, you guys really don’t quit.

I can do this all day.

00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,364

Yeah, but these guys can do it.

00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,409

All night!

00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,629

Big anti-climax!

00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,756

Mummy, you look good!

00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,217

This afterlife smells like beer.

00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,886

I guess this is what

infinite energy looks like. Fuck.

00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,306

Really wish we had time to unpack all

of Frankenstein’s parts making it here.

00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,434

Bigfoot, take these guys up to

the relay and prepare for a siege.

00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,602

What are you gonna do, Rick?

00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,105

Listen, I’m not really your god.

00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,357

Just an old man

who wanted to cheat your system.

00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,983

Guys like me think

we can run the joint

00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:32,820

because everyone is so dumb.

But it’s a dumb universe.

00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,947

I work for you.

The customer is always right.

00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,157

Gimme ten Viking minutes

after we leave,

00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,451

and then pull the plug on

that windmill we made over there.

00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,454

And this isn’t a trick?

00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,872

Is your mother’s pussy a trick?

00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,083

- Kick his ass!

- Go Morty, go!

00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,335

Why the hell did you do that?

00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,921

The only way to end this

is by turning off the power, Morty!

00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,757

- But we have to get home!

- That’s what these guys are for!

00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:57,135

Monsters, hold the line!

Everyone but Bigfoot!

00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,517

That wasn’t them leaving, right?

00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,769

No way. That vould be cold-blooded.

00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,273

Pope!

00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,610

Who do you-a bring this time?

The Harlem Globetrotters?

00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,945

That’s actually a good pitch.

00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,196

It’s over for you, Pope!

00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,448

Time to atone for your sins.

00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,326

Bigfoot,

you were God’s greatest assassin.

00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,288

Now look at you.

Hairless. With normal feet.

00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,581

Yes!

00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,834

Rick, the energy relay’s still up!

00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,253

Shit, was really counting on

those monsters to lose faster.

00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,632

That’s more like it.

Pour one out for the Wolfman.

00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,302

- I don’t-a understand.

- Ya know what they say...

00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,637

When God closes an infinite energy relay

00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,599

No! Goddamnit!

00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,568

Alright, I’m just gonna say it

so nobody else has to say it.

00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,779

- Popey ball. There.

- Okay.

00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,823

If I didn’t say anything,

someone was gonna be like

00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,658

“You missed Popey ball,

it was right there”.

00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,703

I thought about not using a Pokeball

because of that,

00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,788

but it’s the right tool

for the right job.

00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,958

What, am I supposed to not use it

and shoot the Pope in the head?

00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,294

I was gonna say it.

00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,590

Wait, why are we at the woods?

00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,009

Time to go on home, big fella.

00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,846

- Okay.

- You’re free. Just go!

00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:25,557

- You guys are being weird.

- Stop making this so hard for us!

00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,976

Go on! Why can’t you go back

where you came from?

00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,271

You don’t have to throw things at me

to say goodbye.

00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,439

Just go!

00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:36,109

I’m not an animal anymore,

I was hoping I could...

00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,819

I could get a job and...

00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,613

- Go on git!

- Get out of here!

00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:43,992

I’m going, okay?

Stop throwing things!

00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,203

- Go!

- Okay, I’m leaving.

00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,829

- Get out of here!

- Go on, get!

00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:43,093

- What kind of sick sons of bitches...

- These things are trained to fight.

00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,636

I don’t want to hear it, Henderson.

00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:47,764

What year is it? Who’s the Pope?

00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:50,058

Shit if I know. Lemme check.

00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,227

This guy, apparently.

00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:57,065

No!

00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,540

Ау!

00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:10,290

Здравствуй, Джерри.

00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,100

Бабуля!

00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,080

Ты готов пойти на свет?

00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,800

Ну, даже не знаю. А где дедушка?

00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:18,000

Он больше не будет выходить к тебе.

00:00:18,020 --> 00:00:21,050

Если честно, Джерри, это уже начинает раздражать.

00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:24,580

Я не виноват. Мой тесть попросил

помочь ему собрать данные и...

00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,950

Ну вот опять...

00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,720

Так, запускай диагностику.

00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:34,750

Охренеть! Чёткие показания. Оно существует!

00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:37,380

Чё ты наделал? Бабушка с дедушкой злятся на меня!

00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,260

Они тебя простят, потому что...

00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,740

Они, по сути, безмассовые поля сознания

00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,050

которые удерживаются посредством пара-мерного

слоя бесконечной энергии?

00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,360

Морти, подобие рая существует. Подобие.

00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:50,100

Он точно существует у таких нейротипичных

людей, как твой отец.

00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,170

Связь его сознания с локальной

культурной моделью вечности служит этаким фитилём,

00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:58,520

затягивая его крошечный разум к источнику

энергии, достаточного, чтобы подпитывать коллективный образ.

00:00:58,650 --> 00:00:59,760

Класс, рай существует.

00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:02,780

Здорово, что ради этих знаний

ты убил меня всего восемь раз.

00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,220

В чём-то он прав, Рик.

00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,820

Если хочешь проникнуть в рай,

просто не будь мудаком.

00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,630

Во-первых, не хочу я никуда проникать.

00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:11,580

Я хочу стырить эту пара-мерную энергию.

00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,250

Во-вторых, я не собираюсь торчать

00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:16,510

в унылой шаблонной версии рая из 80-х

с небом цвета бетона и дым-машиной.

00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:18,860

А знаешь что? Тебе там не рады!

00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,590

Дело говоришь, Джерри.

Конечно же, непредумышленно.

00:01:21,653 --> 00:01:25,883

Мои атеистические убеждения не дадут

подрубиться к загробной жизни, которую можно грабануть.

00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,260

Это парадокс.

00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:29,050

Хотя...

00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:31,920

Морти, хватай парку.

00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:33,470

Мы летим в Норвегию.

00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,690

А хочешь, прокачаю тебя подкожными нагревателями?

00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,076

Я возьму парку.

00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:11,424

Бесконечная энергия, Морти.

00:02:11,445 --> 00:02:14,670

Ты не представляешь, насколько это здорово,

ведь тебе её всегда хватает.

00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:16,213

Иди нахуй. Я тоже устаю.

00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:18,720

Ништяк! Я попаду в Вальгаллу, Морти!

00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,832

Твой дед станет первым вальгалланавтом.

00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:22,262

Ощути подъём эмоций!

00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,194

Вернуться назад вообще легко.

00:02:24,215 --> 00:02:27,284

Аппарат заработает, когда я доделаю

ретранслятор на той стороне.

00:02:27,305 --> 00:02:29,060

Запущен процесс протокола Феникс.

00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:31,350

Нажмёшь на большую красную кнопку,

и я окажусь в этом теле.

00:02:31,371 --> 00:02:34,730

Но как ты туда попадёшь?

Я не буду убивать тебя снова.

00:02:34,751 --> 00:02:38,110

Я хладнокровен, Рик. Я прошёл в школе

какой-то тест,

00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,610

и психолог вызвал нацбезопасность.

00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:41,638

Не парься, Морти.

00:02:41,665 --> 00:02:44,325

Я должен погибнуть в великой битве

против могучего врага.

00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:46,849

Поэтому я поймал Бигфута в покебол.

00:02:46,870 --> 00:02:48,080

Бигфут - твой враг?

00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,580

Вряд ли он меня любит.

Я запихал его в шар.

00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:52,282

Я постоянно над ним издеваюсь.

00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:54,393

У викингов нет чётких правил, Морти.

00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:57,819

Перед тобой, по сути, аналог

захоронения коренных американцев.

00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,220

Бигфут - тупой и нападёт на то,

что увидит перед собой.

00:03:00,241 --> 00:03:01,863

А мне надо только сдохнуть.

00:03:01,884 --> 00:03:04,167

А что будет с Бигфутом потом?

00:03:04,188 --> 00:03:08,936

Морти, Бигфут - это второстепенный сюжет.

Основной сюжет - он меня убивает, а ты жмёшь на кнопку. Понял?

00:03:08,957 --> 00:03:09,680

Понял.

00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:12,770

Ну что ж, за дело!

00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,970

Офигеть, получилось! Вальгалла, детка!

Рик-трупак!

00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,300

Бля, Рик-трупак.

00:03:51,409 --> 00:03:55,459

Приветствую в Вальгалле, брат.

Мы думали, что погибли все викинги.

00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,480

Ды не. Я отбился от остальных.

Как тут всё устроено?

00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:03,490

Мы бьёмся, умираем, пируем!

А затем снова бьёмся!

00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,910

До дна, народ! До дна!

00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:09,785

Ну, а между битвами есть интервал,

00:04:09,813 --> 00:04:13,500

когда можно свалить и... ну, не знаю...

пособирать ресурсы?

00:04:13,573 --> 00:04:16,223

Да, а сейчас ты получишь броню.

00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:20,035

Тук-тук. Ух ты.

00:04:20,304 --> 00:04:22,774

Новоприбывший. Что тебе нужно?

00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:25,010

Если честно, я бы забрал

почти все инструменты.

00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,157

Я думал, что придётся начинать с нуля,

но здесь

00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,060

уже давно миновал железный век,

так что я сэкономлю кучу времени.

00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:32,411

Для Вальгаллы я изготавливаю

только самое лучшее.

00:04:32,909 --> 00:04:34,039

Прекрасный молот.

00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:37,020

Что будет, если вырубить кого-нибудь

в Вальгалле?

00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:38,625

Человек потеряет сознание.

00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,188

Класс.

00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,034

Ух ты! Та самая штука, которую любят викинги?

00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:51,813

Боже, какая жесть.

00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,510

Стоп, чего? Бигфут, у тебя есть религия?

00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:08,162

Ты ведь меня понимаешь, да?

Рик постоянно издевается над тобой?

00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,600

И надо мной тоже.

00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,518

Спокойно, здоровяк. Спокойно.

00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,330

Твою мать!

00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:44,189

Глянь на этого мальца!

00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:48,090

Да ты видать из драконьих яиц сделан,

раз попал в Вальгаллу в таком возрасте.

00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:51,628

О да. Д-д-да, ребят.

Драконий жемчуг у меня в крови.

00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,862

Эй, а в-в-вы не видели здесь

тощего старика?

00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,043

Видали!

00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:59,060

А куда он делся? Он уже должен был

получить броню.

00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:04,117

Во имя деревянного члена могучего кита,

это ещё что?

00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,196

Старик! Он какой-то колдун.

00:06:07,456 --> 00:06:09,216

Он твой друг?

00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:11,240

Что? Нафига дружить с колдунами?

00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,319

Я просто спросил.

00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:15,768

Очень оскорбительно, знаешь ли.

Мы что, в Осуждалле?

00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:17,650

А как узнать, пока не спросишь?

00:06:17,671 --> 00:06:21,210

Кто-нибудь даст мне штаны

или надо федералов вызывать?

00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,590

Сдавайся, колдун!

00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:30,445

Спокойно, ребят. Это было испытание,

и вы его прошли. На самом деле, я - Один.

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,206

Один?

00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:33,692

Да. Отец Тора, дядя Человека-Паука и так далее.

00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:38,179

Я был боссом под прикрытием, наблюдал,

всё ли в порядке в Вальгалле, и так оно и есть.

00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:42,220

В качестве награды я мастерю величественный

межпространственный ретранслятор энергии,

00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,643

но его никому нельзя трогать,

иначе у ваших

00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:47,519

коз появится геморрой. Поняли?

00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:49,719

И тебе от нас ничего не надобно?

00:06:49,855 --> 00:06:53,448

Я здесь всего на пару часов, но раз ты спросила,

то я бы убил за пиво и сэндвич.

00:06:53,469 --> 00:06:55,009

Говядина, сыр, без лука.

00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,215

- Кто-нибудь записывает?

- Мои шары!

00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:57,867

Мои шары! Мои шары!

00:06:57,887 --> 00:06:59,539

Морти? Что ты здесь забыл?

00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,720

Так ты якшаешься с колдуном!

00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,471

Какого хера, Морти?

Кто отправит меня домой?

00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:09,470

Меня убил Бигфут! Он убил тебя,

убил меня и собирался убить твоего клона.

00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,580

Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет, Морти, нет!

00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:15,664

Я открыл клетку. Бигфут хоронил твоё тело,

он скорбил по тебе.

00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,850

Ещё бы. Морти, любой дебил может

сделать вид, что верит в загробную жизнь,

00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:20,850

потому-то мы имеем дело

с этими ебланами.

00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:22,578

Они, считай, норвежские бигфуты.

00:07:22,599 --> 00:07:25,422

Господи боже. Тащи этот кабель туда,

у нас мало времени.

00:07:35,878 --> 00:07:39,917

Пробоина в корпусе.

Запускаю протокол выживания.

00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:16,349

Дальше мы сами.

00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,790

Кто вы такие? ЦРУ? Интерпол?

00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:22,101

Мы работаем на человека сверху.

00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,008

Здравствуй, Бигфут. Я - папа римский.

00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,609

Вряд ли ты в курсе, что это значит.

00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,470

Потому-то я и хотел заполучить тебя.

00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:38,239

Понимаешь ли, у Церкви много врагов,

но к тому же много правил.

00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:41,350

Убивать нельзя. Приказать человеку убивать

тоже нельзя.

00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:43,161

Но ты - не человек.

00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:46,716

Ты - разумный зверь, живущий

за пределами царствия божьего.

00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:50,669

А значит, ты станешь величайшим

оружием Ватикана.

00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:53,202

Ваше Святейшество, но он же дикий,

его невозможно обуздать.

00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:56,063

О, но мы знаем, чего он хочет.

00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:03,930

Да, дитя моё. Да.

Ты получишь своего голого болвана.

00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,460

Но сначала ты поработаешь на меня.

00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:13,100

Морти! Внимание! Новая волна!

00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:20,930

Чисто!

00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,328

С каждым разом их всё больше.

00:09:23,348 --> 00:09:26,690

Не беда. Я увеличу скорострельность турели,

но ретранслятор надо доделать.

00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:28,643

Лучше придумай, как нас оживить.

00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:32,063

И профукать бесконечную энергию?

Ты очень плохо взвесил ситуацию, Морти.

00:09:32,084 --> 00:09:34,587

Если мы сможем вернуться домой,

то другого шанса у нас не будет.

00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:38,375

Думаешь, в следующий раз эти дебилы

предложат пива голому человеку на поле боя?

00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,999

То есть, лучше погибнуть и победить,

чем выжить, но проиграть?

00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:44,000

Тебе самое место среди этих дебилов.

00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,343

Да! Их хотя бы можно научить

жать на красную кнопку!

00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:47,664

Я же извинился.

00:09:47,685 --> 00:09:51,540

А я тебе повторяю: "Продолжай убивать их,

пока я не доделаю ретранслятор".

00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:54,022

Я найду путь домой. Хорошо?

00:09:54,423 --> 00:09:55,333

Хорошо.

00:10:25,269 --> 00:10:27,519

Так, я закончил.

Готов вернуться в мир живых?

00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,540

Да, но как?

00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,920

Морти, бесконечная энергия - это

бесконечная энергия.

00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,880

Надо лишь дёрнуть за рычаг, и мы попадём

в новые тела.

00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:36,005

И вуаля! Никаких больше кристаллов.

00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,220

Но как только мы уйдём,

викинги всё тут расфигачат.

00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:41,412

О, Морти. Уверуй же.

00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,866

Может, необязательно на него нападать?

00:10:57,629 --> 00:11:00,339

Говорил же, что я - Один,

еретики неверующие.

00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,215

Я буду и дальше бомбить вас в этой яме,

пока вы не начнёте следовать заповедям.

00:11:04,368 --> 00:11:05,146

Человек-Паук?

00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:10,739

Всего их десять штук, но по сути,

все они про то, что нельзя подходить к ретранслятору энергии.

00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,140

Кто-то собирается подходить к ретранслятору энергии?

00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,125

Хорошо. Вы меня умилостивили.

Дарую вам...

00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:19,985

какую-нибудь лестницу.

00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,724

Цель в зоне видимости.

00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,278

Превосходно. Отправляйте наживку.

00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,810

Мне так нравится поклоняться дьяволу

вместе с вами.

00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,420

Кто ты? Нас хочет убить только папа римский,

но убивать ему нельзя...

00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,380

Да. Очень хорошо.

00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,510

Но можно ещё лучше.

00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:08,060

Ты работаешь на Ватикан!

Наши враги - это твои враги!

00:12:10,621 --> 00:12:13,794

СИСЯНДРЫ.

НЕЦЕРКОВНЫЙ ЭРОТИЧЕСКИЙ ЖУРНАЛ

00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,730

Да! Да!

00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,814

НАДКОНФЕССИОНАЛЬНАЯ ФАБРИКА СВЕЧЕЙ

00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:26,740

Держи, мой дорогой.

Так мы сможем общаться.

00:12:27,009 --> 00:12:29,519

Выменял у Хищника на три мушкета.

00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,505

Так это и правда их валюта?

00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,213

Дай мне то, что обещал.

00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:36,790

Да, дитя моё, ты заслужил.

00:12:37,609 --> 00:12:39,779

Что ж, Морти! Возьмём медовуху на дорожку?

00:12:39,806 --> 00:12:40,856

Не, я пас.

00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,413

Тогда погнали!

00:12:48,989 --> 00:12:51,999

Блин, беру назад все свои слова

насчёт чанов с клонами.

00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,868

В безумии тоже есть зерно разума, Морти.

00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:58,533

А теперь... бесконечная энергия, детка.

00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,366

Что за...

00:13:02,101 --> 00:13:04,549

Кто-то решил взломать ретранслятор на Земле, Морти.

00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:08,870

С ума сойти! На такое способен только духовный лидер

с безграничными ресурсами.

00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:10,832

Хотя такой есть только один.

00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,790

Тебе пизда.

00:13:19,857 --> 00:13:20,302

Бля.

00:13:20,323 --> 00:13:22,993

Вот и всё.

Больше ты не будешь истязать меня.

00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,300

Какого хрена? Ты серьёзно работаешь

на папу римского?

00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:33,411

Он увидел во мне потенциал.

А сейчас тебя раздавит Бигфут.

00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,162

Ха! Ха!

00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:40,433

Не волнуйся, Морти.

У меня всё под контролем.

00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:44,799

Господи, Рик. Извинись - и дело с концом.

00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:47,450

Ты решил, что Бигфут - глупый.

Глупо с твоей стороны.

00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,793

Ты прав, Морти. Недооценённый человек

сразу получает преимущество.

00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,040

Зачем ты издевался надо мной?

00:13:53,061 --> 00:13:55,645

Меня веселила твоя тупизна.

00:13:55,809 --> 00:13:58,784

Каждый человек умён по-своему.

00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:02,720

Знаю, знаю! Мне явно не хватает ума,

чтобы понять, когда у человека есть мозги.

00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,930

Слушай, я понимаю, что ты не можешь нажать

на перчатку, но попробую угадать, что ты говоришь.

00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:11,476

Я издевался над тобой в угоду себе.

За это ты и злишься на меня.

00:14:11,997 --> 00:14:12,556

Рик!

00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:14,423

Но я использовал тебя, чтобы умереть!

00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:16,793

А сколько людей убил ты ради папы римского?

00:14:18,217 --> 00:14:20,066

Помоги остановить его,

и я всё исправлю.

00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:22,397

Для начала, вот.

00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:25,709

Больно. Секундочку...

00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:28,570

Ага, руки свободны.

Я ещё голос подправил.

00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:33,120

Спасибо. В мире, где время стало средством платежа.

00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,631

Кажись, я знаю, что это за фильм.

00:14:34,652 --> 00:14:36,566

В Ватикане разыграете сценку. Погнали.

00:14:38,603 --> 00:14:41,169

Эй, Бигфут. Что это у тебя там?

00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,560

Рик и Морти.

00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,800

Убиты. По приказу папы.

00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,400

Да, это они.

00:14:48,816 --> 00:14:53,707

Ну и напоследок. Я должен взять острую палку

и потыкать в них.

00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,379

Таковы правила.

00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:56,421

Но!

00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,829

Прости, Морти.

По-тихому не вышло.

00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,318

Ну, хоть попытались.

00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:04,467

Пизданутое правило.

00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:14,240

Папа!

00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:19,593

Всё кончено, понтифик. Тебе кранты.

00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,920

Вот почему религия это отстой.

00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:28,901

С помощью бесконечной энергии

он парит, как Крисс Энджел.

00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:34,913

Ничего себе.

Не думал, что так выйдет.

00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:38,870

Нас убило энергией, и, видимо,

мы отправились по каналам к её источнику.

00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:40,999

Привет, народ.

00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,690

- Ой, бля!

- Нет. Нет.

00:15:42,935 --> 00:15:46,250

Нам нужна одежда и лошади.

Бигфуту можно не давать.

00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,183

Или он хочет одежду?

00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,924

Прости, о великий Один...

Это испытание?

00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,830

Да, ага. И вы его прошли.

00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:06,729

Ступни такие маленькие.

00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,250

А почему он в клоне Саммер?

00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:11,010

По статистике её смерть третья по вероятности.

00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,010

Что ж, прикончим этого ублюдка.

00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:14,946

Погоди, я уже понял, к чему всё идёт.

00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,150

Папа!

00:16:50,411 --> 00:16:50,979

Да уж.

00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,430

Скажу честно, Морти. Я особо и не сопротивлялся.

Хотел убедиться, что сработает.

00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:55,883

Красивый.

00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:57,470

Нравится? Ступни побольше.

00:16:57,491 --> 00:16:59,260

И лобная доля покрупнее.

00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,608

Спасибо. Моя нравится. Моя...

00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,890

Осади. А то тебя ещё за маппета примут.

00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:10,230

Папа!

00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:25,077

Может, лучше портануться к нему поближе,

чтобы с охраной не разбираться?

00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:26,500

Да-да-да.

00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:38,369

Может, подбородок побольше?

00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,970

Ты глянь, сука, замечания пошли.

00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:42,810

Ну же, Бигфут, надо постараться получше.

00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:45,520

Если нужна помощь, то

Бигфут знает пару ребят.

00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,501

У папы... в плену и другие монстры есть.

00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:52,669

А вы не теряете надежду.

Я так хоть весь день могу.

00:17:52,690 --> 00:17:54,638

Да, но эти ребята могут хоть...

00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:57,400

...всю ночь!

00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,830

Ух ты. Анти-кульминация.

00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,729

Мумия, отлично выглядишь.

00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:13,210

В этой загробной жизни пахнет пивом.

00:18:13,231 --> 00:18:15,966

Так вот она какая, бесконечная энергия. Бля.

00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:19,523

Жаль нет времени разбираться, как здесь

оказались все части Франкенштейна.

00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:22,482

Бигфут, отведи ребят к ретранслятору

и приготовься к осаде.

00:18:22,503 --> 00:18:23,673

Что ты задумал, Рик?

00:18:23,949 --> 00:18:26,079

Слушайте, на самом деле, я не ваш бог,

00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,350

а просто старик, который хотел

поживиться на вашей системе.

00:18:28,371 --> 00:18:31,404

Такие, как я, считают, что могут

всем заправлять, потому что вокруг тупицы.

00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:34,961

Но мы живём в тупой вселенной.

Я работаю на вас. Клиент всегда прав.

00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:39,471

Мы исчезнем, подождите десять викингских минут

и сотрите ту мельницу с лица земли.

00:18:40,139 --> 00:18:42,429

А... это не уловка?

00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,027

А писька твоей матери - уловка?

00:18:44,048 --> 00:18:44,501

Эй!

00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:45,168

Надрать ему жопу!

00:18:45,473 --> 00:18:46,505

Бежим, Морти! Бежим!

00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,449

Нахрена ты это сделал?

00:18:48,729 --> 00:18:50,899

Всё будет кончено, только если

обрубим энергию, Морти!

00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,039

А как вернуться домой?

00:18:52,059 --> 00:18:53,750

Для этого и нужны эти ребята.

00:18:53,771 --> 00:18:57,232

Монстры! Держать оборону!

Все, кроме Бигфута!

00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,470

Они ведь не ушли, нет?

00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,760

Да ну. Это слишком хладнокровно.

00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,270

Папа!

00:19:09,999 --> 00:19:13,589

Кого ты притащил на этот раз?

Гарлемских Глобтроттерсов?

00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,940

Неплохая идея.

00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:16,190

Тебе крышка, святоша.

00:19:16,211 --> 00:19:18,461

Пора тебе ответить за свои грехи.

00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,299

Бигфут, ты был лучшим божьим убийцей.

00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,280

А теперь посмотри на себя.

Волос нет, ступни обычные.

00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,580

Да!

00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,830

Рик, ретранслятор ещё работает.

00:19:28,851 --> 00:19:31,431

Бля, я думал, что монстры продуют быстрее.

00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,609

Другое дело. Помянем Волчонка.

00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:37,085

Я не понимаю.

00:19:37,105 --> 00:19:40,630

Знаешь, как говорят?

Когда бог закрывает ретранслятор с бесконечной энергией...

00:19:40,651 --> 00:19:43,611

Нет! Будь ты проклят!

00:19:52,512 --> 00:19:54,653

Так, я это скажу, чтобы вам не пришлось.

00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,773

Папебол. Всё.

00:19:56,991 --> 00:19:57,770

Ладно.

00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:01,671

Если бы я ничего не сказал, кто-нибудь

упрекнул бы "Папебол так и напрашивался".

00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:04,792

Именно поэтому я не хотел

пользоваться покеболом,

00:20:04,813 --> 00:20:06,893

но это подходящий инструмент

под такое дело.

00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,173

А что, надо было забить на покебол

и шмальнуть святоше в голову?

00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:12,290

Я хотел упрекнуть.

00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:16,687

Погоди, а почему мы в лесу?

00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,104

Тебе пора домой, здоровяк.

00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:21,122

Ладно.

00:20:21,142 --> 00:20:22,840

Ты свободен. Иди.

00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,044

Вы странно себя ведёте.

00:20:24,064 --> 00:20:25,550

Зачем ты всё усложняешь?

00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:28,177

Иди! Возвращайся туда, откуда пришёл!

00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:31,249

Необязательно кидаться предметами,

чтобы попрощаться.

00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,148

Иди!

00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:36,139

Я ведь больше не зверь...

Я думал, что...

00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:37,869

Я мог бы найти работу и...

00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,690

- Уходи! Давай!

- Уходи!

00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:43,990

Да ухожу я, ухожу.

Хватит кидаться предметами.

00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,303

Иди!

00:20:45,323 --> 00:20:46,200

Ладно, я ухожу.

00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:46,896

Давай, уходи.

00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:47,841

- Ладно.

- Иди уже!

00:21:40,290 --> 00:21:42,002

Ну, что за больные ублюдки...

00:21:42,022 --> 00:21:43,121

Их тренируют для боёв.

00:21:43,142 --> 00:21:44,630

И слушать не желаю, Хендерсон.

00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:47,760

Какой сейчас год?

Кто папа римский?

00:21:47,781 --> 00:21:48,895

Да хер его знает.

00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,198

Сейчас гляну.

00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:52,286

Видимо, этот мужик.

00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:57,060

Нет!

00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,843

Hello, Jerry.

00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,927

Nana!

00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,679

Are you ready

to come to the light?

00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,432

Uh, I'm not sure.

Where's Pop Pop?

00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,434

He's not coming out

to meet you anymore

00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,437

because honestly, Jerry,

this is getting annoying.

00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,855

It's not my fault!

00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,190

My father-in-law asked me

to help him gather data and--

00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,526

Agh!

Not agaaaaaain!

00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,777

[ Gasping ]

00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,404

Okay,

run diagnostics.

00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,364

[ Machine whirring ]

00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,950

Holy shit, this is consistent.

This is real.

00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,201

What have you done?

00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,953

You've got my grandparents

pissed at me.

00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,830

They'll forgive you because...

00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,833

they're zero-mass fields

of consciousness preserved by

00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,836

a-a paradimensional layer

of infinite energy?

00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,796

Morty, there's kind of a heaven!

Kind of!

00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,591

I-I mean there definitely is for

a neurotypical like your father.

00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,884

His conscious connection

00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,635

to a localized cultural model

of infinity

00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,679

functions like a wick,

sucking his little mind

00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,556

straight towards a source

of energy strong enough

00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,141

to support

collective projection.

00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,642

Great,

so there's a heaven.

00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,228

Glad you could learn that

by murdering me eight times.

00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,813

He's got kind of

a point, Rick.

00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,190

If you want

to get into heaven,

00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,608

can't you just stop

being an asshole?

00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,319

First of all, I don't want

to "get into" anywhere.

00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,196

I want to tap

this paradimension's energy.

00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,739

Secondly, you wouldn't

catch me dead

00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,032

in Jerry's generic-ass

00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,075

1980s concrete

and fog machine heaven.

00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,369

Well, guess what.

You aren't welcome there!

00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,080

You raise a good point, Jerry,

obviously by accident.

00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,208

My intact consciousness

is too atheistic

00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,794

to get channeled

to any afterlife worth robbing.

00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,587

It's a paradox.

00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,838

Unless...

00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,549

Morty, pack your parka.

00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:34,052

We're going

to Norway.

[ Groans ]

00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,596

Or I can augment your skin

with subdermal heaters--

00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,847

I'll pack a parka.

00:01:37,847 --> 00:02:05,208

{\an8}♪

00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,460

[ Electricity zapping ]

00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,922

{\an8}Infinite energy, Morty.

00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,382

{\an8}You don't even know

how to appreciate that

00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,259

{\an8}because you've never been

in energy debt.

00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,885

{\an8}Fuck you.

I've been tired.

00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,179

{\an8}Perfect!

I'm going to Valhalla, Morty!

00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,598

{\an8}Your grandpa's going to be

the first Valhallanaut!

00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,850

{\an8}Feel the excitement!

00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,726

{\an8}Getting back

will be easy.

00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,061

{\an8}Once the machine

turns on,

00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,729

{\an8}I'll have set up the other side

of the relay.

00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,565

{\an8}Female voice:

Phoenix Protocol initiated.

00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,900

{\an8}Just hit that big red button

to pull me into this body.

00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,402

{\an8}But how are you

getting there?

00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,237

{\an8}I-I refuse

to kill you again.

00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,989

{\an8}I-I'm desensitized, Rick.

00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,699

{\an8}I took some kind of test

in school,

00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,285

{\an8}a-and the counselor had to

call Homeland Security.

00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,744

{\an8}Not your problem, Morty.

00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,122

{\an8}I need to die in glorious battle

against a mighty enemy.

00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,332

{\an8}That's why I got Bigfoot

in this Poké Ball.

00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,709

{\an8}Bigfoot is your enemy?

00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,211

{\an8}Well, I doubt he's a fan.

I stuffed him into a ball.

00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,754

{\an8}I mess with him

all the time.

00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,090

{\an8}These Vikings don't have

real tight bylaws, Morty.

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,592

{\an8}This is basically

their equivalent

00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,343

{\an8}of Native American

burial grounds.

00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,762

{\an8}Bigfoot's dumb enough to attack

whatever's in front of him.

00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,431

{\an8}And all I gotta do

is die.

00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,766

{\an8}What happens

to Bigfoot... after?

00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,560

{\an8}Morty,

Bigfoot is a "B" story.

00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,937

{\an8}The "A" story is he kills me

and you hit the button.

00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,397

{\an8}Got it?

Got it.

00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,857

{\an8}[ Gulping ]

00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,817

{\an8}Alright, let's do this!

00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,406

{\an8}[ Grunting ]

00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:21,576

{\an8}[ Roaring ]

00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,995

{\an8}[ Grunting ]

00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,833

{\an8}Oh!

[ Groaning ]

00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,376

{\an8}[ Grunting ]

00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,135

{\an8}Oh, snap, I-I did it!

00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,679

{\an8}Valhalla, baby!

I'm Dead Rick!

00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:44,474

{\an8}[ Horn blowing, all shouting ]

00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,225

{\an8}Oh, shit,

I'm dead Rick.

00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:47,435

{\an8}[ Weapons clang ]

[ Grunts ]

00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,811

{\an8}[ Groans ]

00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,980

{\an8}[ Gasps ]

[ All cheering ]

00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,149

{\an8}Welcome to Valhalla, brother.

00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,151

{\an8}We thought all Vikings

had perished.

00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,904

{\an8}Ah. Nope.

I was-- I was a straggler.

00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,113

{\an8}How's it work here again?

00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,032

{\an8}We fight! We die!

We feast!

00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,159

{\an8}And then we fight again!

00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,537

Ha-ha!

Cheers, everybody, cheers!

00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,207

So, is there a time window

between battles

00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:13,086

where a guy could go off and,

I don't know, gather resources?

00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,673

Yes, now you'll

receive your armor.

00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,633

Knock, knock.

00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,759

Oh wow.

00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,262

You're a new arrival.

What do you require?

00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,430

Honestly, I-I'd love

to take most of your tools.

00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,890

I'd planned on starting

from scratch,

00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,267

but you're, like, way past

the Iron Age here,

00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,644

saves me a lot of time.

00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,355

I make only the finest

for Valhalla.

00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,856

Beautiful hammer.

00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,567

So, in Valhalla, what happens

when we get knocked out?

00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,861

Then we're just

knocked out. Cool.

00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:42,365

Oh, wow, is that a thing

Vikings love?

00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,909

[ Grunting ]

00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,998

[ Crying ]

00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,749

Oh, God, brutal.

00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,876

[ Grunting ]

00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,008

Wait, what?

00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,885

Bigfoot...

do you have religion?

00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,596

Y-Y-You understand me,

don't you?

00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,890

D-Does Rick do this

to you all the time?

00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,851

[ Grunts, crying ]

00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,645

He messes with me, too.

00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,480

Easy, there, big guy.

00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,065

Easy.

00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,191

[ Screams ]

00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,609

[ Crunching ]

00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,864

[ Grunting ]

00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,743

[ Glass shatters,

alarm blaring ]

00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,453

[ Electricity crackles ]

00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,706

[ Banging ]

00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,251

[ Horn blows ]

00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,419

[ All shouting ]

00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,087

Oh, shit!

00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,840

[ Weapons clanging,

all shouting ]

00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,924

[ Laughing ]

00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,718

Look at

this little one!

00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,054

You must be made of piss

and dragon balls

00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,597

to reach Valhalla

at your age!

00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,599

Oh, yeah!

Y-Yeah, man!

00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,225

Dr-Dragon Balls

all day.

00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:54,479

H-Hey, h-have you guys seen

an old skinny guy around here?

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,772

Of course!

00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,273

But wait,

where did that guy go?

00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,983

He should have

his armor by now.

00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,401

[ Bird screeches ]

00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,613

What in the mighty

whale's wooden cock?

00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,158

The old man!

He's some kind of witch!

00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,785

A friend of yours?

00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,787

What? Why would I be friends

with a witch?

00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,996

I was just asking.

00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,623

Well, that's really

offensive, man!

00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,416

What is this,

Judgmenthalla?

00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,126

I don't know until I ask, alright?

00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,795

Somebody around here

gonna make me some pants,

00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,255

or do I have to call the feds

on this place?

00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,968

Surrender, witch!

00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,178

Easy, guys.

00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,846

Th-This was all a test,

and you passed.

00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,640

I'm actually Odin.

Odin?

00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,142

Yep, Thor's father,

Spider-Man's uncle, et cetera.

00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,228

I came here to do like

an "Undercover Boss" thing,

00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,813

making sure

Valhalla's running smooth,

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,564

which it is,

and as your reward,

00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,776

I'm assembling this majestic

transdimensional energy relay,

00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,319

which none of you

should ever touch,

00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,238

or it'll make your... goats...

00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,365

have hemorrhoids, understood?

00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,450

And you need nothing

from us?

00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,993

I'm only here

for a few hours,

00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,995

but since you're asking, I'd

kill for a beer and a sandwich.

00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,414

Beef, cheese, no onions--

Is someone writing this down?

00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,375

Ow, my balls, ow, my balls,

ow, my balls!

00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,127

Morty?

Why are you here?

00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,212

You are friends

with the witch!

00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,047

[ Sighs ]

00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,216

What the fuck, Morty!

You're my ride home!

00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,300

Bigfoot killed me!

00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,593

He killed you,

he killed me,

00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,970

and he was going to

kill your clone.

00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,222

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Morty, no!

00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,473

I-I opened the cage.

00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,850

Bigfoot was burying

your body.

00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,852

He-- He was mourning you!

He does that.

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,437

Morty, any big idiot can pretend

to believe in the afterlife.

00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,481

That's why we're dealing

with these fucking guys.

00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,941

They're just

Norwegian Bigfoots.

00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,193

Jesus Christ,

run this cable over there.

00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,278

We don't have much time.

00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,114

[ Grunting ]

00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:35,538

{\an8}♪

00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,540

Hull breach imminent.

00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,792

Initiating survival protocol.

00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:40,835

[ Grunts ]

00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,879

Aah!

[ Chattering ]

00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:53,389

{\an8}♪

00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,183

[ Tires screech ]

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,684

[ Roars ]

00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,979

[ People screaming ]

00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,355

[ All gasp ]

00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:02,899

[ Grunting ]

00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,025

[ Roars ]

00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,651

[ Darts fire ]

00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,820

[ Grunts, chattering ]

00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,364

[ Grunting ]

00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,866

[ Darts firing ]

00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,535

[ Tires screech ]

00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,120

We'll take it

from here.

00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,580

And who are you?

00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,332

CIA? Interpol?

00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,084

We work for

the man upstairs.

00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,712

[ Bells ringing ]

00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,464

Hello, Bigfoot.

00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,840

I'm-a the Pope.

00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,967

I'm sure you don't know

what that means.

00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,221

Which is why I've been so eager

to acquire you.

00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:37,767

The Church, you see, has many

enemies, but also many rules.

00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,937

We can't kill.

We can't command a man to kill.

00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,688

But you are not a man.

00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,484

You are a thinking beast

from outside God's domain,

00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:50,071

which will make you

the Vatican's greatest weapon.

00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,907

Your holiness, he is wild.

He can't be controlled.

00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,285

Ah, but we know

what he wants.

00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,454

[ Muffled grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,873

Yes, my child. Yes.

00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,085

You will have

your naked imbecile.

00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,380

But first,

you will work for me.

00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,881

[ Cranking ]

00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,758

[ Horn blowing, all shouting ]

00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,802

Morty! Heads up!

Incoming wave.

00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,055

[ All shouting ]

00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,433

[ All screaming ]

00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,435

Clear!

00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,812

They're sending more

every time.

00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,647

It's fine. I'll upgrade

the turret's rate of fire,

00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,190

but I need to finish

this relay.

00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,317

You need to figure out

how to get us back to life!

00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,694

Without my infinite energy?

00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,487

I-I don't think you're

thinking this through, Morty.

00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,948

I-If we manage to get home, we

don't get another shot at this.

00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,866

Y-You think the next time

these idiots see a naked man

00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:37,952

on the battlefield,

they're gonna give him a beer?

00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,246

So you'd rather stay dead

until you win

00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,747

than live as a loser?

00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,332

Maybe you belong here

with these idiots.

00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:46,127

Yeah, I could probably teach

them how to hit a red button!

00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,336

I said I was sorry.

00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,505

And I said

keep killing them

00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,007

while I finish

the relay.

00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,967

And I will

get us back home.

00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,010

Okay?

00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,553

Okay.

00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,681

[ All shouting ]

00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,350

[ Explosion, all scream ]

00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,853

[ All grunting, shouting ]

00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,605

[ All shouting ]

00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:11,319

{\an8}♪

00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,821

[ All scream ]

00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,240

[ All grunting, shouting ]

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,784

[ Shushing ]

00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,078

[ Drones buzzing ]

00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,872

Oh. Oh, no.

00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,665

[ All shouting ]

00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,125

Okay, I'm done here.

00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,127

You ready to get back

to living?

Yeah, but how?

00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,504

Morty, infinite energy

means infinite energy.

00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,714

All I have to do

is pull a lever

00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,507

to send us back home

into new bodies.

00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,426

Then voilà,

no more need for crystals.

00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,927

But the second

we turn our back,

00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,846

those guys are just

going to trash this place.

00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,307

Oh, Morty.

Ye of little faith.

00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,393

Do we even need

to attack him?

00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,228

[ Explosion, all scream ]

00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,522

[ Groaning ]

[ Shouts ]

00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,191

[ Explosion ]

00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,859

[ Groaning ]

00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,652

[ Explosion ]

00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,947

[ Groaning ]

00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,867

I told you I was Odin,

you faithless heretics!

00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,952

And I'll keep blowing you up

in this pit forever

00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,954

unless you follow

these commandments.

00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,623

Spider-Man?

00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,791

There's 10 of them,

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,167

but they basically

revolve around

00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,294

not going near

the energy relay.

00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,548

Is anybody going to go

near the energy relay?

00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,634

Okay.

You have pleased me.

00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,302

I'll get you guys...

00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,137

some kind of a ladder.

00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,681

Target is in sight.

00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:25,351

Excellent.

Release the bait.

00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,315

I just love worshiping

the devil with you guys.

00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,901

[ All gasp ]

00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,403

[ Grunts, chattering ]

00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,446

[ All screaming ]

00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,198

[ Roars ]

00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,866

[ All shouting ]

00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,952

[ Grunting ]

00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,705

{\an8}♪

00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,124

Who are you?

00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,502

Only the Pope wants to kill us,

but he can't kill--

00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,130

[ Roars ]

00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,632

Yes.

Very good.

00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,385

But we can do

even better.

00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,095

[ Roaring ]

00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,471

[ Grunting ]

00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,807

Pope: You work-a

for the Vatican!

00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:08,060

Our enemies are your enemies!

00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,229

[ Roaring ]

00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,691

[ Bigfoot grunting ]

00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,570

Yes! Yes!

00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,071

[ Bigfoot grunting ]

00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,531

[ People screaming ]

00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,366

[ Bells ringing ]

00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:26,328

Here, my sweet.

This will help you communicate.

00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,331

I traded a Predator

three muskets for it.

00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,834

So it is

their currency?

00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,919

Give me

what you promised.

00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,881

Yes, child,

you've earned it.

00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,341

Alright, Morty, wanna grab

a mead for the road?

00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,384

Nah, I'm good.

00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,303

Then here we go!

00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,353

Man, I take back everything bad

I said about clone vats.

00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,439

There's a method

to the madness, Morty.

00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,566

[ Cork pops ]

[ Slurps ]

00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,194

And now...

infinite energy, baby!

00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,154

[ Buzzing ]

00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,448

What the...

Someone's hacking into

00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,116

the Earth-bound side

of my relay, Morty.

00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,910

Pretty crazy,

whoever's doing this

00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,954

would have to be a spiritual

leader with limitless resources.

00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,414

In fact, I guess there's

only really one--

00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,291

[ Bigfoot roars ]

00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:16,795

You're fucked.

00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,965

[ Grunts ]

Fuck.

00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,843

It is over.

My torment ends now.

00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,220

[ Grunts ]

00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,596

[ Screams ]

00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,805

What the hell?

00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,891

Are you seriously working

for the Pope?

00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,851

The Pope

saw my potential.

00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,395

Prepare to be crushed

by Bigfoot.

00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,607

[ Grunts ]

00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,567

Ha ha.

Don't worry, Morty.

00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,071

I've got this

under control.

00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,281

Jesus Christ, Rick,

just apologize.

00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,492

You assumed Bigfoot was dumb,

which was dumb of you.

00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,077

You're right, Morty.

00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,663

Underestimating people only

gives them the high ground.

00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,623

Admit why

you bullied me.

00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,334

Because I thought it was funny

that you were stupid.

00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,586

People are intelligent

in different ways.

00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,255

I know, I know.

00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,174

I-I'm clearly stupid at knowing

when other people are smart.

00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,175

[ Grunts ]

00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,426

[ Grunting ]

00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,554

Listen, I know you can't tap

your gauntlet,

00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,430

but I'll take a guess

at what you're saying.

00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,475

You hate me because I tortured

you to get what I want.

00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,978

Rick!

But I only used you

to kill myself!

00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,647

How many people have you killed

for the Pope?

00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:17,898

[ Grunts ]

00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,484

Help me stop him,

and I'll make it right.

00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,444

For starters, here.

00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,406

Ow, that hurt.

Wait a second.

00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,574

Yeah, hands-free.

00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,993

Also upgraded that voice.

Thank you.

00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:32,746

In a world

where time actually is money...

00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,164

Ooh, I-I think

I know this movie.

00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,333

You guys can do this bit

at the Vatican. Let's go.

00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,545

Oh, hey, Bigfoot.

00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,963

What you got

back there, eh?

00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,132

Rick and Morty.

00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,384

Uh, dead.

For Pope.

00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,137

Aye, that's them.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,807

Alright, last thing,

I just got to take a sharp stick

00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,559

and stab them both.

00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,977

That's just the rules.

00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,813

Hyah!

[ Horse neighs ]

00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,315

[ All scream ]

00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,525

Sorry, Morty,

so much for the quiet way.

00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,818

I appreciate

that we tried.

00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,820

It's a

fucked-up rule.

00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,072

[ Guards scream ]

00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,163

Poooooooooooooooope!

00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,832

[ Screams ]

00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,335

It's over, the Pope.

We got you.

00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,211

[ Laughing ]

00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,424

See, this is why

religion sucks.

00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,009

Infinite energy,

and the Pope uses it

00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,594

to levitate

like Criss Angel.

00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,928

[ Screams ]

00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,683

Alright, wow,

not how I saw that going.

00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,393

I guess getting killed

by the energy

00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,854

sent us up the conduit

to its source.

00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,231

Hey, guys.

Oh, fuck.

00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:44,693

No, no, just need

some clothes and horses.

00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,153

Maybe not for Bigfoot.

00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,488

Unless he wants clothes?

00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,740

[ Roars ]

00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:53,369

Ah, excuse me,

Lord Odin.

00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,453

Is this a test?

00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,830

Yup, yup.

Uh, you passed!

00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,921

[ Groans ]

00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,256

Ewww, feet... so small.

00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,800

Why is he in a clone

of Summer?

00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,636

Statistically speaking, she's

the third most likely to die.

00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,513

Alright, let's kill

that son of a bitch.

00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,682

Hold on, I can see

where this is going.

00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,143

[ Whirring ]

00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:22,398

{\an8}♪

00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,482

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,318

Poooooooooooope!

00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:28,821

Aah!

00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,407

[ Grunting ]

[ Screams ]

00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:37,705

{\an8}♪

00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,415

[ Screams ]

00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,046

[ Whirring ]

00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,758

[ Bell dings ]

00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,468

Wow.

I gotta admit, Morty.

00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,678

I didn't really fight

that time.

00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,221

I wanted to make sure

this worked.

00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,514

Handsome.

00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,932

Yeah, you like that?

Bigger feet!

00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,726

Even gave your brain

a little more lobe.

00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,936

Thank you!

Me love it. Me--

00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,647

Dial it back. You don't wanna

come across like a Muppet.

00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,023

Ooh-hoo-hoo.

00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,235

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,446

Poooooooooope!

00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,199

[ Screams ]

00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:19,705

[ Screaming ]

00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,833

Maybe we just portal

right up close to the guy

00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,668

instead of doing

the guards every time.

00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,170

[ Grunts ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,257

[ Bell dings ]

00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,550

[ All shout ]

00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,968

[ Grunts ]

00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,220

[ All grunt ]

00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,555

[ Bell dings ]

00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,931

Maybe bigger chin?

00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,683

Look at this.

He's fucking giving notes.

00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:42,227

Bigfoot, come on, w-we need you

to put a little more fight in.

00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,147

If need help,

Bigfoot do know some guys.

00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:48,609

Pope has...

other monsters captive.

00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,778

Man, you guys

really don't quit.

00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,154

I can do this all day.

00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,114

Yeah, but these guys

can do it...

00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,616

[ Roars ]

00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,742

All night!

00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,744

[ Howls ]

00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,796

Wow, big anticlimax!

00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,339

Mummy, you look good!

00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,716

This afterlife

smells like beer.

00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,802

I guess this is what

infinite energy looks like.

00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,553

Fuck.

Really wish we had time

00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:19,056

to unpack all of Frankenstein's

parts making it here.

00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,766

Bigfoot, take these guys

up to the relay

00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,017

and prepare for a siege.

00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,477

What are you

gonna do, Rick?

00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,395

Listen, I'm not

really your god,

00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,815

just an old man who wanted

to cheat your system.

00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,566

Guys like me think

we can run the joint

00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:30,943

because everyone

is so dumb.

00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,361

But it's a dumb universe.

00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,905

I work for you.

The customer is always right.

00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,657

Give me 10 Viking minutes

after we leave

00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,535

and then pull the plug on that

windmill we made over there.

00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,954

And this isn't

a trick?

00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,622

Is your mother's pussy

a trick?

00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:44,873

- Hey!

- Kick his ass!

00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,041

Go, Morty, go!

00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,960

Why the hell

did you do that?!

00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,546

The only way to end this is by

turning off the power, Morty!

00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,713

But we have to

get home!

00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,465

That's what these guys

are for!

00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,634

Monsters, hold the line!

00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,760

Everyone but Bigfoot!

00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,470

Together: Hoo-rah!

00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,056

[ All shouting ]

00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,891

That wasn't them

leaving, right?

00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,477

No vay.

That vould be cold-blooded.

00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,395

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,565

Pooooooooope!

00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,149

Who do you-a

bring this time?

00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:13,235

The Harlem Globetrotters?

00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,736

That's actually a good pitch.

00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:15,863

It's over for you, Pope!

00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,031

Time to atone

for your sins.

00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,784

Bigfoot, you were

God's greatest assassin.

00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,996

Now look at you--

hairless with normal feet.

00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,081

Yes!

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,292

Rick, the energy

relay's still up!

00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,086

Shit, was really counting on

those monsters to lose faster.

00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,921

[ Laughing ] Huh?

00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:33,964

That's more like it.

00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,299

Pour one out

for the Wolfman.

00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,758

I don't understand.

00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,135

You know what they say,

00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,262

when God closes

an infinite energy relay...

00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,805

Nooooo!

00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,974

God damn--

00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,810

[ Warbling ]

00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,690

[ Video game tune plays ]

00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,651

Alright, I'm just gonna say it

so nobody else has to say it.

00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:57,237

Popey Ball. There. Okay.

00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,281

If I didn't say anything,

someone was gonna be like,

00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,450

"You missed Popey Ball.

It was right there."

00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,161

I thought about not using

a Poké Ball because of that,

00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,455

and it's just the right tool

for the right job.

00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,248

W-What, am I supposed

to not use it

00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,918

and shoot the Pope

in the head?

00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,377

I was gonna say it.

00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,548

Wait, w-why are we

at the woods?

00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,759

Time to go on home,

big fella.

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,594

Oh. Uh, okay.

00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,471

You're free.

Just go!

00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,597

You guys

are being weird.

00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,140

Stop making this

so hard for us!

00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,309

Go on. Why can't you go back

where you came from?

00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:30,979

Ow! You don't have to throw

things at me to say goodbye.

00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:31,980

Just go!

00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,815

I'm not an animal anymore.

00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:37,903

I-I was hoping I could--

I could get a job and-- Ow!

00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,613

Go on! Get!

Get out of here!

00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,531

I'm going.

I'm going, okay?

00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,825

Ow!

Stop throwing things!

00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,868

Ow!

Go!

00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,495

Okay, I'm leaving.

Get out of here!

00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,913

Okay.

Go on, get!

00:20:47,913 --> 00:21:17,818

{\an8}♪

00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,738

[ Crowd cheering ]

00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,617

[ Video game music plays ]

00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,369

[ Roars ]

00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:31,331

Wha-- Wha?

00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:32,499

Oh!

00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:35,544

[ Roars ]

00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,629

[ Siren wailing ]

00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,383

What kind of sick

sons of bitches...

00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,551

These things are trained

to fight.

00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,177

I don't want to hear it, Henderson.

00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,388

Wh-What year is it?

00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,514

Who's the Pope?

00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:48,849

Shit if I know.

00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:49,808

Let me check.

00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:50,809

[ Buttons clicking ]

00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,102

This guy, apparently.

00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,437

[ Chattering]

00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:56,982

Nooooo!

00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,318

Did you get any of that?