Арикадный автоморт „Рой”

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КАМПАНИЯ «ТЫ ПРАВДА МОЙ ВНУК»

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СЕГОДНЯ!

РОЙ ПИРСОН

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НОРМАЛЬНЫЕ НОВОСТИ!

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ДЕВОЧКИ! ЖИВОЕ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЕ ХХХ

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НОРМАЛЬНЫЕ НОВОСТИ!

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Я ВСЕХ НЕНАВИЖУ

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Give it up, old man! We’re just

cool bad kids doing young stuff!

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You guys wanna do some more

skateboard moves?

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Which ones?

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- The rad ones, that’s which.

- How are you kids?

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Did you know your Grandpa’s

tryin’ a get your attention?

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Yeah yeah, screw off, weirdo.

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- Grandson, what’s that mean?

- He’s one of those cult people.

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They worship some psycho named Roy

that says he’s everybody’s grandpa.

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So what do you want to do today,

eat some snacks,

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and maybe

let me kiss you finally?

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Y’know, with my mouth and stuff?

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This is going on right now.

Let’s go check it out.

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- Awe geez.

- Come on, just for fun, you know?

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No, that’s not what I’m -You guys

keep thinking I’m a religious leader,

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this isn’t a religion,

this is actual truth.

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I’m a scientist in real life,

but this isn’t real life,

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this is a video game.

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You at least understand that much right?

This is a video game?

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But you said I’m your grandson?

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I’m saying everyone is. Everyone here,

everyone in this world but me.

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You’re all my grandson,

your name is Morty,

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you’re stuck in a video game

and I’m here to get you out.

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What about me? Am I your grandson?

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I just said everyone is!

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Incredible!

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Okay, okay but don’t react like that,

it’s not a religion,

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this is what is happening.

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You and me and your sister are

at an arcade called Blips and Chitz.

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It’s been taken over by terrorists.

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The power went out, the game restarted,

and your identity has been splintered into

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all the non-player characters.

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So I jacked in as Roy,

that’s the player character,

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to get you, my grandson, Morty, out of

the game before it’s over and you die.

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OK, question over here.

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- Am I your grandson?

- Jesus! Yes!

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Every single one of you is

one five billionth of Morty.

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All of you, collectively, are Morty.

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Look I don’t wanna seem impatient

but there’s actually a lot more that

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we have to get done so if this is how hard

it’s gonna be we are in a lot of trouble.

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Summer, what?!

I can't do this if you keep bugging me!

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Do you understand time dilation?

I’m losing a month a second out here.

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There’s an alien army shooting people,

what am I doing?!

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It’s a small group of alien terrorists,

just do a Die Hard.

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What does that mean?

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Sneak around, use air vents.

You’ve never seen Die Hard?

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I’m seventeen,

no I’ve never seen fucking Die Hard!

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Well neither did the guy in Die Hard

so you’re nailing it! Good luck!

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Larry...

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No, I’m at the end of my rope with

this kid, I swear to God.

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{\an8}You gotta be kidding me.

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{\an8}- Your beautiful hair.

- This is not a daughter’s haircut.

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I’m not a daughter, I’m a grandson.

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{\an8}Your family had a perfectly fine religion.

You were raised Jewish.

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{\an8}Dad, tell me anything specific

about being Jewish.

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{\an8}There’s a million things! You go to the

temple with the special hat,

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{\an8}the falafafluten.

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{\an8}The falafafluten, our Jewish

words are gibberish because we're

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{\an8}a fourteen year old boy who was raised

nondenominational Christian

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and we’re in a video game.

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{\an8}I don’t need to hear this schmoitenheiven.

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{\an8}Let me ask you this, little miss grandson,

little miss video game character.

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{\an8}If you’re not my daughter, why stand in

my house spouting this chatschkopfka?

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{\an8}- Why even live here?

- Good question.

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{\an8}There she goes! My daughter.

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One five billionth of a kid trapped

in a video game.

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Yeah, that and a college degree’ll

pay the rent.

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What do you people want?

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{\an8}We have many interests but right now

my primary one is the location.

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Of... your... safe.

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{\an8}We exchange tokens for digital

currency, we don’t have a safe.

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{\an8}Correction, what you don’t have is a head.

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{\an8}Is this a weapon or a medical tool?

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{\an8}Why would you give me a gun

with a laser that thin?

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{\an8}Did you hear me tell him

he wouldn’t have a head?

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{\an8}- He’s dead isn’t he?

- People die in surgery.

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Hey, who don’t touched me!

I don’t like being touched!

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Check the hostages.

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Make sure nobody else here

is doing a Die Hard.

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{\an8}Hello, hello, my name is Morty, I’m

a fourteen year old boy in a video game!

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- Yeah!

- Geez!

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{\an8}Yeah. Look. I feel like every time

I explain this, I lose followers, but:

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{\an8}this isn’t a religion.

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And while I do have a message

from a world beyond this one,

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{\an8}and I do need the entire world

to hear my message,

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{\an8}what I do not need is any

more songs about it.

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Not in this genre.

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I’m an old school hip hop man

and no that's not an invitation

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for you to try it because

I’m just gonna say it,

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we’re missing the mark on diversity.

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Get down! You’re all under arrest

for being religious the wrong way!

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It’s not a religion.

You know what, just shoot me.

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You think your god makes you bullet proof?

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There isn’t even a god in the

real world, you fragmented putz,

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there’s extra no god in here.

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You know what, hippy? Talking like

that is why you’re getting shot.

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If you kill him,

the game ends and we all die.

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- Get down, lady!

- I’m not a lady.

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And you’re not a soldier.

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We’re one person, split into a lot of

little pieces. You feel me? Dawg?

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You’re not gonna hurt me. You’re me.

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My name is Kevin! I’m a Marine.

I’m thirty.

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I’m a little racist but my best friend

is an immigrant that translated for me

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in a generic overseas war.

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That’s not true. We’re fourteen,

we like pizza and masturbation,

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we wear a yellow shirt and we have

hair that looks like a brown helmet.

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And we miss our family.

And we’re in way over our heads again.

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Why’s this always happen, man?

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I know, right? Aw geez.

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Aw geez.

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Come here. Aw geez. Come here.

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- Aw geez.

- Aw geez.

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Who is that?

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Her video game name is Marta.

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OK. See, this I can work with.

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“Sneak around. Crawl in some vents.

Do a Die Hard.”

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Oh my god, it’s disgusting.

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Actually... it tastes really good.

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Oh my god, it’s disgusting

that it tastes good!

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Frank, have you found him? Report.

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Walkie talkie. That’s Die Hard.

Don’t have to see it to know that.

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This is Jons.

I repeat, have you found him?

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Breaker breaker. Walkie talkie.

I got your walkie talkie. Bitch.

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Are you doing a Die Hard?

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Maybe.

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Are you? Also?

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More or less.

And my associate, Frank?

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Your associate Frank is definitely

not doing a Die Hard.

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You might even say he’s doing a Die Easy.

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Because I killed him and

it wasn’t difficult.

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Calm yourself, Winslow.

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Winslow!

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It’s not every day one meets

a fellow Die Hard enthusiast, Ms...

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Call me Die Hard.

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Okay. “Die Hard.” Tell me.

What do you know about Die Hard?

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What do you care?

You writing a book about Die Hard?

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As a matter of fact I’ve written several.

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Every sentient civilization across the

galaxy eventually develops the same myth.

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In Centauri it’s known as Tower Man.

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The Orionese have their Thornberg Cycle

and in Andromeda it’s called

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Foolish to Have Imagined

You’d Be Able to Kill...

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all of them what you’d call Die Hard.

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The difference being that cultures

like mine are aware of its importance

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whereas I’m starting to doubt

you could even recall a single line.

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Walkie talkie Die Hard, motherfucker.

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{\an8}Not so long ago, Grandsonism was

being dismissed as a doomsday cult.

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{\an8}But since a majority of the world decided,

hey you know what, we like jerking off

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{\an8}and playing videogames and our sister

is out there fighting terrorists,

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{\an8}major strides have been made.

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{\an8}The world is united, because the world

is one fourteen year old boy, Morty.

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{\an8}But where’s it all coming from?

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Some say Grandsonism’s leader, Roy, has a

secret base somewhere in these mountains.

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I couldn’t find it so I’m standing in,

in the general area with a microphone.

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For Good Enough News, I’m Tony!

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There she is, my right-hand Morty.

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Got enough spaceships?

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Not yet. I figure five more years

of game time before I can take the

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whole fake population

into fake outer space.

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What do we do in outer space?

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Nothing. It’s fake. We keep going.

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The game’s map has edges, but the

game’s engine will let us go past them.

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That will force the game to reset,

but first it will kick us out,

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which Morty should survive, i mean,

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Whatever amount of Morty we have on board.

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So if you don’t have five billion

handkerchiefs soaked in chloroform

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I hope you can keep flipping

idiots to our cause.

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They’re not idiots. Grandpa.

They’re me.

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You’ll know how funny

that is when we get back.

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By the way, I had your genius of a

father picked up, he’s over there.

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What? Why?

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I thought you’d be grateful.

And less distracted than if I let him die.

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He’s been in real bad shape

since he lost his wife.

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My mom?

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Your not at all real mom,

a mom in a video game.

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Occupied by a tiny fraction of yourself.

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A fraction of yourself which is now

dead forever and fractions add up,

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so I had your Dad brought here,

you’re welcome, you heartless monster.

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Marta. It’s me, Dad.

I converted for you.

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My name is Morty. So is yours.

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And there’s no conversion,

we’re both Morty, it’s a fact.

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Sure, honey, anything you say.

I don’t want to fight.

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I’m proud of you.

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Are you mad at me because before you

became the world’s most powerful woman,

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I shamed you for your haircut

and called you a slutty jobless hobo?

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If I were you I’d be

a little mad about that.

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You are me.

And why would I be mad at myself?

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Good point! Is there anything

to eat around here?

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There’s a kitchenette

in the break room.

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A kitchenette you say,

such red carpet treatment.

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Excuse me?

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I said thank you, I love it,

we’re all part of Morty

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Some of us more important

parts than others...

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Man, the part of me that’s

my father is a twat.

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That’s also gonna be funny

when we get back.

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Next time you try to do a Die Hard...

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Don’t hide under a long table like

the guy from Die Hard.

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Okay I won’t.

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I thought you said she doesn’t

know how to do a Die Hard!

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- She doesn’t.

- She’s killing us off one by one.

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What do you expect her to do,

buy us each an ice cream? Two by two?

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She’s improvising. Which is how she’s

going to fall right into our trap.

00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,479

I’m going to wander the arcade

unarmed and when she comes across me.

00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,189

I’ll pretend to be a hostage.

00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,816

And because she hasn’t seen Die Hard

00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:12,445

instead of handing me an

unloaded gun, she’ll hand me a...

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Die Hard! Die Hard!

00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:16,866

What the hell was that?

00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,284

Die Hard! Die Hard!

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You can’t just keep yelling

"Die Hard" into a walkie talkie and...

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She threw her walkie talkie away.

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She hates Die Hard.

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Which makes her the ultimate McClane.

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Forget everything you know about

Die Hard and just go shoot that bitch!

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Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Roy.

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Half the country hangs on your every word.

Heck, most of the world.

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You’re, like, kind of a pope I reckon.

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I’m not a pope because it’s not a religion

we’re literally in a video game

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I’ve heard the message, Roy,

you’re not on the clock here.

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So you want every single person on a space

ship. But you got a bunch of holdouts.

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Maybe people that prefer their leaders

a little more elected.

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Right. Your voters.

00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,406

People that like being told what

to do but don’t like admitting it.

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Yeah not sure I’d put it that way.

00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,786

I’m sure you’d put it a stupid way.

I told you this was a waste of time.

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I’ve got ninety-two percent

of you ready to vamoose,

00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,957

we’re not gonna get the rest

by making deals with parasites.

00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,502

Mr. President. Roy is Rick.

He’s not us.

00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,588

You and I, we’re Morty.

Is that really so hard to believe?

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Kid, I’ve known it and I’ve

believed it longer than you have.

00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,135

We both became video game characters

at the same moment, but I knew the truth

00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,971

before you dropped your skateboard

and went to your first cult meeting.

00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,557

How do you think a guy becomes

a President in this game, honey?

00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,725

By not paying attention?

00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,978

Sorry to call you honey, I know we’re

both parts of a fourteen year old boy but

00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,147

my part’s old fashioned

and vaguely southern.

00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,983

I’m confused. If you

know Rick is real, why?

00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,694

Why hold out? Because he’s a rude,

entitled cock.

00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,739

He’s here to save us. He could’ve

left the game and let us die,

00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,075

- ...he’s spent fifty years.

- Fifty years, it’s what?

00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,243

a couple hours to him?

00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,788

He refuses to leave without his grandson

but what’s grandson mean to him?

00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,081

Sounds like it means butler.

00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,042

Someone to Help Summer with

her "Die Hard” whatever that means.

00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,129

I’ll tell you what it doesn’t mean.

Fly fishing. A hug.

00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,006

A little appreciation for what

is clearly a pretty decent kid.

00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,176

At least the eight percent of him that

makes up the decent half of the greatest

00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,845

god damn nation on the planet.

00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:04,056

We’re not a person to him yet.

We’re not Morty yet, we’re divided

00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,392

We’re divided because some of us

doesn’t trust the guy.

00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,978

What happens to that part of

us when we’re all back together?

00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,189

One Morty? Indivisible?

Under a cranky old bag of dicks?

00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,693

A man you can lock in a box with five

billion pieces of his own god damn flesh

00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:19,405

and blood for fifty god damn simulated

years and never hear him say I love you?

00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,741

Sorry pumpkin tits, that dog don’t hunt.

00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,704

Want some heroin?

It’s a video game, might as well.

00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,711

Just about ready for launch, kiddo.

I can finally get outta these clothes,

00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,171

I don’t have nearly enough pockets.

00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,047

And it’ll be nice to have

my own dick back.

00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,175

You’re fine leaving eight

percent of me to die?

00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,051

It’s not your finest eight percent, Morty.

00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,012

And eight percent

of anything is expendable.

00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,638

Eight percent of pizza is crust.

00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,057

Eight percent of the Snyder

Cut was Batman dreaming.

00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,602

I don’t know what that reference is.

We’re in a video game.

00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,354

- Not for long, baby.

- I’m not leaving without all of me.

00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,398

What? Oh no, let me crunch these numbers,

00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,568

eight percent of five

billion plus one person, my god,

00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,820

if you stay, it changes nothing! Bye.

00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,031

If she’s not going I don’t think

my country wants to go.

00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,325

Who invited you to chime in,

monitor face?

00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,660

Why give me a monitor

if my opinion doesn’t matter?

00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,914

Your opinion isn’t allowed to matter

for the rest of us. We’re all Morty.

00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,874

How many chunks of us are

we supposed to give up?

00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:15,085

Look, I don’t know about you but I was

already taking a big leap of faith, here,

00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,255

we’re basically giving up our lives

to become a tiny part of a stranger.

00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,341

- These lives aren’t real.

- Yeah but they’re longer.

00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,761

What is this, suicide by summit meeting?

00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:24,887

Everyone stop.

00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,014

Rick.

00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,975

I’ll get every single part of me to

get on every ship and go with you.

00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,228

- Good.

- But you have to tell us you love us.

00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,816

I mean. At this point even if he said it,

what’s with the pause.

00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,944

- Screw you, wait for it!

- Holy war!

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,987

- Holier war!

- Holiest war ever!

00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:52,373

Loyalist Evacucratic Grandsonistas

claimed the seven new cities today.

00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,751

While the Stayputlican Contrasurgent

Confederation of Dedication

00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,837

to Video Game Reality invaded

the territories of Mortopia,

00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,048

New South Saint Morty and Wemortyall.

00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,050

In the end, what does it matter,

everyone’s Morty,

00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,761

nobody wants to die and that’s

a hell of a reason to kill yourself

00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,638

but what can we do. Aw geez.

00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,194

You know you’re my grandson

and none of this is real.

00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,947

What are you trying to achieve?

You’re only hurting yourself.

00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,742

The only reason any of us matter is we’re

pieces of Morty! You taught us that, Rick.

00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,161

But you also taught us you

don’t care about Morty.

00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:33,706

Here’s how much I care.

00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,083

If you don’t stop blowing up

my flying saucers,

00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,253

I will exterminate every last one of you!

Anything it takes!

00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,965

What do I have to say?

I love and respect you, OK?

00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,341

Too late for talk, Rick.

00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,345

A robot. Of course.

00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,806

I’m not gonna risk dying

because if I die in the game,

00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,683

you go brain dead, you’re welcome!

00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,893

Better to die in Roy

than to serve in hell!

00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,104

And what about Summer?

Do you not care about her?

00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,189

We gotta get back, Morty,

we gotta help her.

00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:02,359

You know what, wherever she is, I’m

sure she’s doing fine without your help.

00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,777

Woof, jinx, anyon...

00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,531

Should we finish the job, blow the place?

00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,366

No, this can’t end, not like this.

00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,119

Do you think I jinxed her?

00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:16,123

Why aren’t you shooting higher?

00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,167

I don’t wannna shoot the glass. Because...

00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:22,338

You don’t have to not do things that were

done in Die Hard, you can shoot the glass.

00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:26,800

Shoot the glass! Throw grenades!

Do everything! Just kill her!

00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:38,062

Why are you here, Miss Die Hard?

I want to know why you don’t just leave?

00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,356

- Die Hard!

- Wait.

00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,316

...person on a spaceship, and then what?

00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,401

And then we help your sister

do her Die Hard.

00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,034

Too much. It’s too much.

00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,452

Sorry.

00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,121

I’ve got a special guest with me,

Miss Die Hard!

00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,708

Or should I call you this guy’s sister?

00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,384

- Mom.

- Hello, dear.

00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,928

- I’m joining the other side.

- What. Why?

00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,682

I wanna live in the real world with Roy.

I wanna help Summer with her Die Hard.

00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,933

His name is Rick.

00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,603

And we have no way of knowing if your

generation is actually part of Morty.

00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,146

Do you know how offensive that is?

00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,066

It’s parenting like this that pushed

me into religious radicalism.

00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,192

- Bye.

- It’s not...

00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,362

Not a religion. But. Okay.

00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:33,409

Ma’am. It’s really not safe out here.

Also, it’s... time.

00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,164

Are we going on the spaceship now?

00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,291

Pretty soon, Dad. Yeah.

00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,835

Are you lying?

00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,004

You kind of said it with that tone in

your voice that we use for dying people.

00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,339

I won’t lie to you.

00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,300

you’re dying Dad, and we’re...

00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,804

not leaving the video game.

We’re-we’re gonna live our lives out here.

00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,639

What? Why the fuck? Why?

00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,808

- It’s more real here.

- The hell it is!

00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,810

My liver hurts! I’m old here!

00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,687

I want to be a teenage boy.

00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,982

I want to jump around and do homework

and jerk off all over the place.

00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,024

But Dad. That’s...

00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:10,237

we would’ve been one tiny part of that.

In here, we get to be who we really are.

00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,949

Great. Dead. I get to be

a dead father. Who do I make the...

00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,201

Who do I...

00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,495

- Who...

- Don’t talk, Dad.

00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,039

- Gotta finish my zinger

- You don’t.

00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,750

Who do, who do...

00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,169

Who, do I...

00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:28,505

make the check out to.

“Best Daughter Ever...

00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,091

Incorporated”?

00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:43,771

Thought you woulda left by now.

00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,898

I was hoping to get at least half

of you home.

00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,357

I can’t hold out much longer.

00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,194

I’m pretty much beating my heart

voluntarily at this point.

00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:54,448

Ok, this is a little awkward, but the time

dilation has given me a chance to reflect.

00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,575

And I gotta say.

00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:00,245

There’s no need for that. I’ve come

to tell you, I’m giving the go-ahead.

00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,998

All of Morty will leave

with you. To the real world.

00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,710

To be your grandson,

may we help Summer do her Die Hard.

00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:11,173

I gotta say. I was not expecting

that. Why the change of heart?

00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,759

My people are staying

only out of loyalty to me.

00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,678

I’m a relic.

I don’t represent them anymore.

00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,640

You really are a good grandson,

you know that?

00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:22,893

- I’m proud of you, Morty.

- Please, call me Marta.

00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,728

That’s my video game name.

00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,940

Speaking of which,

I do have one condition.

00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,653

I must say I admire you, Ms. Die Hard.

You were a genuine McClane.

00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:37,282

A most worthy yankee doodle ruffian.

But now it’s all come to an end.

00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,621

And the quarterback,

as they say, is toast.

00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,457

I don’t suppose you have

a gun taped to your back.

00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,708

What the hell does that mean?

00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,044

It’s how Die Hard ends.

Doesn’t matter now.

00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:52,548

Die Hard tapes a gun to his back?

That’s the end of your perfect movie

00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,883

that you’ve patterned your

whole criminal life after?

00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,969

Well it seems to have worked

out pretty well for me

00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,221

since you’re the one about to die.

00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:03,892

What was it you said? Ah yes.

“Walkie talkie Die Hard”Mother fucker.

00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,145

Why are you laughing?

00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,357

Well it’s funny. The way you said

mother fucker.

00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,150

- Just laughing.

- Okay. It’s just that...

00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:15,028

Oh does that happen in Die Hard,

does John McClane laugh,

00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,532

and then Hans Gruber is confused but then

they start laughing together for a second.

00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:22,077

That actually does happen, yes! Wait.

You knew their names this whole time?

00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,830

Not this whole time, no.

You left your book in the bathroom.

00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,541

I read it while I took a shit.

I mean mostly the ending.

00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,553

Yi...

00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,892

pe...

00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,688

dippee doo, baby!

00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,775

Nice timing, Grandpa Rick!

00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:56,987

Tochter aus Elysium.

00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,449

Hi, remember me?

00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,620

You shot me on that table, and the

near death experience got me reflecting.

00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:08,415

I didn’t used to be like this.

I ate a kid.

00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:10,542

It was dark, and I

thought he was a grown-up.

00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,003

Ever since then I haven’t

eaten anybody at all.

00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:16,757

I think I was channeling all that pent

up eating energy into this job. But now

00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,887

Thank you for freeing me.

00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,393

Classic Tower Man.

Almost too on the nose. Right, Morty?

00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:33,482

Sure. I mean, whatever you say, Rick,

you know best! I trust you implicitly.

00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,651

- Is he all right?

- He’s fine.

00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,779

Got him all out, every last piece.

00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:44,201

What’s with the jacked-up Roy Machine,

shouldn’t you be taking that to repairs?

00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:48,288

Nah, special order. Some rich douche

wants his last game to keep running,

00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,083

hooked it up to an external battery,

we’re just supposed to store it.

00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,459

- Weird.

- Yeah and get this.

00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,586

The game’s still going but Roy’s dead.

00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,380

- Wha?

- He’s just a corpse floating

00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,341

at the edge of outer space

but for some reason the game won’t restart

00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,927

cause it’s centered on some old lady

living a full life.

00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,972

Sounds bad.

Well. Put it in there.

00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,689

Hey is anybody that wants this

later gonna be able to...

00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,316

Oh, yeah, everything’s cataloged

and tracked.

00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,485

People got the wrong idea

from the size of the space

00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:19,945

but it’s all supported digitally.

00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,655

So I can put it anywhere. Here’s fine?

00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,281

That’s as fine as anywhere else!

00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:05,365

- Why isn’t anyone attacking him?

- It’s fucking freezing out.

00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:06,825

No, I think it’s the sign.

00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,369

Well the sign from Die Hard 3

was clearly racist.

00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:13,415

Obviously. But I think we went too broad.

“Everybody” I mean who is that offending?

00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:14,833

Everybody?

00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,294

At this point, why even do it?

00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,423

I wish my brother was still alive.

00:00:08,066 --> 00:00:10,944

Эй, дети,

не хулиганьте возле моего магазина!

00:00:11,027 --> 00:00:12,487

У меня хороший магазин!

00:00:12,571 --> 00:00:13,822

Да ладно тебе, старикан!

00:00:13,905 --> 00:00:16,866

Мы просто крутые дети,

занимаемся своими обычными делами.

00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:20,662

Хотите другие движения на скейтах?

00:00:20,745 --> 00:00:23,290

- Какие?

- Клевые. Вот какие.

00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:24,416

Как дела, народ?

00:00:24,499 --> 00:00:26,585

Знаете, что ваш дед

хочет привлечь ваше внимание?

00:00:26,668 --> 00:00:27,836

Да. Отвали, урод.

00:00:27,919 --> 00:00:29,170

МИТИНГ «ТЫ МОЙ ВНУК» СЕГОДНЯ!

00:00:29,254 --> 00:00:30,255

«Внук»? В смысле?

00:00:30,338 --> 00:00:31,798

Он из тех, верующих.

00:00:31,881 --> 00:00:35,176

Боготворят психа по имени Рой.

Он говорит, что он всем дедушка.

00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,928

Ну что, чем сегодня займемся?

00:00:37,012 --> 00:00:40,557

Перекусим, а потом, может,

разрешишь наконец-то тебя поцеловать?

00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,100

В губы и всё такое…

00:00:42,183 --> 00:00:44,561

Митинг идет прямо сейчас!

Давайте посмотрим?

00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:47,480

- Боже.

- Да ладно, ради интереса.

00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:48,773

Нет, не то чтобы я…

00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:50,859

Вы всё еще думаете,

что я религиозный лидер.

00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:53,111

Это не религия. Это правда.

00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:54,613

В реальной жизни я ученый.

00:00:54,696 --> 00:00:56,907

Но это не реальность, а видеоигра.

00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,368

Вы хоть это понимаете?

Это же видеоигра!

00:01:00,452 --> 00:01:02,412

Но ты сказал, что я твой внук!

00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:05,832

Я сказал, что вы все - мои внуки.

Все в этом мире, кроме меня.

00:01:05,916 --> 00:01:08,168

Все вы - мой внук. Вас зовут Морти.

00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:10,253

Ты застрял в видеоигре,

я пришел за тобой.

00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,255

А я? Я твой внук?

00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,923

Я же сказал: все вы!

00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:17,969

Не реагируйте так. Это не религия.

00:01:18,053 --> 00:01:19,387

Вот что происходит.

00:01:19,471 --> 00:01:22,307

Ты, я и твоя сестра - в галерее

игровых автоматов «Блипс и Читц».

00:01:22,390 --> 00:01:24,851

Ее захватили террористы.

Отключилось электричество.

00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:27,354

Игра перезапустилась,

и твоя личность распалась

00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,230

на всех этих неигровых персонажей.

00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:32,025

Поэтому я подключился как Рой,

персонаж игрока,

00:01:32,108 --> 00:01:33,652

чтоб вытащить тебя, внук Морти,

00:01:33,735 --> 00:01:35,654

из игры:

а то она кончится, и ты умрешь.

00:01:35,737 --> 00:01:37,322

Так, здесь вопрос.

00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:39,824

- Я твой внук?

- Господи. Да!

00:01:39,908 --> 00:01:42,202

Каждый из вас -

пятимиллиардная часть Морти.

00:01:42,285 --> 00:01:44,454

А все вместе вы - Морти.

00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,039

Не хочу показаться нетерпеливым,

00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:47,958

но нам еще многое предстоит сделать.

00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,919

Так что если всё будет так сложно,

мы в большой…

00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:52,003

Саммер, что?

00:01:52,087 --> 00:01:54,673

Я не смогу,

если ты продолжишь доставать меня.

00:01:54,756 --> 00:01:56,675

Ты понимаешь замедление времени?

00:01:56,758 --> 00:01:58,259

Здесь я теряю месяц в секунду.

00:01:58,343 --> 00:02:00,261

Инопланетная армия стреляет в людей.

00:02:00,345 --> 00:02:02,889

- Что делать?

- Инопланетян-террористов немного.

00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:05,058

- Сделай как в «Крепком орешке».

- Что?

00:02:05,141 --> 00:02:07,894

Подкрадись через вентиляцию.

Не смотрела «Крепкий орешек»?

00:02:07,977 --> 00:02:11,064

Мне 17 лет. Я не смотрела

гребаный «Крепкий орешек».

00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:12,524

Мужик из «Крепкого орешка» - тоже.

00:02:12,607 --> 00:02:14,442

В общем, ты врубилась. Удачи!

00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:48,351

- Ларри.

- Нет,

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этот ребенок

меня до ручки довел, клянусь!

00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:53,898

Издеваешься?

00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:55,024

Твои красивые волосы!

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Дочери так не стригутся!

00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,820

Я не дочь. Я внук.

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В твоей семье была чудесная религия!

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Тебя воспитали как еврейку.

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Пап, скажи что-нибудь конкретное

о евреях.

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Да куча всякого разного!

Походы в храм в…

00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,873

В особой шляпе, фалафель…

00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,459

Фалафель?

Еврейские слова - тарабарщина,

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потому что мы - 14-летний мальчик,

00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,920

воспитанный внецерковным христианином,

00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:17,422

и мы в видеоигре!

00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:19,966

Не хочу слушать эту белиберду!

00:03:20,049 --> 00:03:22,010

Позволь спросить, мисс Внучка,

00:03:22,093 --> 00:03:23,803

мисс персонаж видеоигры:

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если ты не моя дочь, почему стоишь

у меня дома и несешь этот бред?

00:03:27,515 --> 00:03:30,059

- Зачем вообще здесь жить?

- Хороший вопрос.

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Вот она, моя дочь!

00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:34,522

Пятимиллиардная часть ребенка,

пойманного в ловушку в видеоигре.

00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:37,233

Это и диплом колледжа

отобьют арендную плату!

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Что вам надо?

00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,576

Много чего,

но сейчас мой основной интерес -

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местонахождение твоего сейфа.

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Мы обмениваем жетоны

на цифровую валюту. У нас нет сейфа.

00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,127

Поправлю: чего у тебя нет,

так это головы.

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Это оружие или медицинский инструмент?

00:03:59,297 --> 00:04:01,716

Зачем ты дал мне пистолет

с таким тонким лазером?

00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,093

Слышали, как я сказал ему,

что у него нет головы?

00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,304

- Он умер, да?

- Люди умирают от скальпеля.

00:04:06,387 --> 00:04:09,265

Кто меня трогал?

Не люблю, когда меня трогают.

00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,142

Проверьте заложников.

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Убедитесь, что никто больше

не делает как в «Крепком орешке».

00:04:16,064 --> 00:04:19,275

Привет, меня зовут Морти

00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,654

Я 14-летний мальчик в видеоигре

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По-моему, каждый раз объясняя это,

я теряю последователей,

00:04:27,575 --> 00:04:28,993

но это не религия.

00:04:29,077 --> 00:04:31,871

И хотя у меня есть сообщение

из мира за пределами этого

00:04:31,955 --> 00:04:35,124

и мне нужно,

чтобы весь мир услышал мое сообщение,

00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,585

мне совершенно не нужны песни об этом.

00:04:37,669 --> 00:04:40,505

Не в этом жанре.

Я заядлый любитель хип-хопа,

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и нет, это не приглашение попробовать

00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:44,509

только потому, что я это сказал.

00:04:44,592 --> 00:04:46,469

Нам не хватает разнообразия.

00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:52,517

На пол! Вы все арестованы

за неверную религиозность!

00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,561

Это не религия.

Знаешь что? Стреляй в меня.

00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:56,229

Думаешь, твой бог спасет тебя от пули?

00:04:56,312 --> 00:04:59,232

В реальном мире даже бога нет,

ты, фрагментированный придурок.

00:04:59,315 --> 00:05:00,984

Здесь есть лишний не-бог.

00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:01,901

Знаешь что, хиппи?

00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:03,528

За такие разговоры убивают.

00:05:03,611 --> 00:05:05,613

Если вы убьете его,

игра закончится, и мы умрем.

00:05:05,697 --> 00:05:08,700

- На колени, дамочка!

- Я вам не дамочка! А вы не солдат!

00:05:08,783 --> 00:05:11,703

Все мы - один человек,

разбитый на множество фрагментов.

00:05:11,786 --> 00:05:12,996

Понял, пес паршивый?

00:05:13,496 --> 00:05:15,832

Ты не причинишь мне вреда. Ты - это я.

00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,376

Меня зовут Кевин.

Я морской пехотинец. Мне 30 лет.

00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:20,628

Я немного расист,

но мой лучший друг - иммигрант.

00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:22,839

Из-за него я ввязался

в заморскую войну.

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Это неправда. Нам по 14 лет.

Мы любим пиццу и мастурбацию.

00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,804

Мы носим желтые футболки, а наши волосы

похожи на коричневый шлем.

00:05:29,888 --> 00:05:33,516

А еще мы скучаем по нашей семье,

и мы снова в тупике.

00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,019

- Почему это всегда повторяется?

- А я знаю?

00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,937

- Боже.

- Боже.

00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:40,690

- Иди сюда. Блин, иди сюда.

- Блин.

00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,817

- Боже.

- Боже.

00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:43,985

Кто это?

00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:45,778

В видеоигре ее зовут Марта.

00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:48,406

Хорошо. С этим можно поработать.

00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,784

«Подкрасться через вентиляцию…

00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:53,369

Как в "Крепком орешке"».

00:06:05,548 --> 00:06:07,634

Боже, какая гадость!

00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:09,218

Вообще-то очень вкусно.

00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,304

Боже, какая гадость, но вкусно!

00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:13,473

Фрэнк, ты нашел его? Прием.

00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:15,558

Рация, это «Крепкий орешек».

00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,352

И смотреть не надо, и так понятно.

00:06:17,435 --> 00:06:19,979

Это Джонз. Повторяю, ты его нашел?

00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:22,065

Прием-прием, рация.

00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,816

У меня ваша рация, суки.

00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,277

Ты что, делаешь как в «Крепком орешке»?

00:06:26,611 --> 00:06:27,737

Возможно.

00:06:28,363 --> 00:06:30,281

Ты тоже?

00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:33,284

В какой-то мере. А мой коллега Фрэнк?

00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:37,246

Твой коллега Фрэнк точно не делает

как в «Крепком орешке».

00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,041

Он, скорее, делает

как в «Мягком орешке»,

00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:42,585

потому что я его прикончила,

что было нетрудно.

00:06:43,294 --> 00:06:45,213

Успокойся, Уинслоу.

00:06:45,296 --> 00:06:46,631

Уинслоу!

00:06:48,132 --> 00:06:52,345

Не каждый день можно встретить

поклонников «Крепкого орешка», мисс…

00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,515

- Зовите меня Крепким Орешком.

- Хорошо, Крепкий Орешек.

00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:58,184

Скажите, что вам известно

о «Крепком орешке»?

00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:01,062

Тебе-то что?

Пишешь книгу о «Крепком орешке»?

00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:02,939

Вообще-то, уже написал, и не одну.

00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,274

Каждая разумная цивилизация

по всей галактике

00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,360

в конечном итоге

создает одинаковые мифы.

00:07:07,443 --> 00:07:09,487

На Центавре это «Человек-башня».

00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:12,115

У жителей Ориона - «Цикл Торнбурга».

00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:13,491

А в Андромеде -

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«Глупо было воображать,

что сможешь убивать».

00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:18,162

И все они - то, что у вас зовется

«Крепким орешком».

00:07:18,246 --> 00:07:21,916

Разница в том, что культуры,

подобные моей, осознают его важность.

00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,543

Кстати, я начинаю сомневаться,

00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,795

что вы можете процитировать

хотя бы строчку.

00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:28,047

Рация, «Крепкий орешек», ублюдок.

00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:31,509

НЕПЛОХИЕ НОВОСТИ!

00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:34,512

Не так давно внучатизм отвергали

как культ конца света.

00:07:34,595 --> 00:07:36,222

Но когда большая часть мира решила:

00:07:36,306 --> 00:07:38,558

«А нам нравится дрочить

и играть в видеоигры,

00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:40,435

пока наша сестра

сражается с террористами», -

00:07:40,518 --> 00:07:41,769

мы достигли больших успехов.

00:07:41,853 --> 00:07:45,440

Мир един, потому что он -

это один 14-летний мальчик Морти.

00:07:45,523 --> 00:07:46,858

Но откуда всё это?

00:07:46,941 --> 00:07:48,860

Говорят, что у лидера внучатизма, Роя,

00:07:48,943 --> 00:07:50,903

где-то в этих горах

есть секретная база.

00:07:50,987 --> 00:07:55,199

Я не смог ее найти, поэтому стою

с микрофоном в обычном месте.

00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:57,201

Тони, «Неплохие новости».

00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,212

А вот и она, моя правая рука, Морти.

00:08:08,296 --> 00:08:09,505

Космических кораблей хватит?

00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,549

Еще нет. Думаю, надо

лет пять игрового времени,

00:08:11,632 --> 00:08:13,551

прежде чем я смогу

вывезти всё население

00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:14,844

в фальшивый космос.

00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,471

Что будем делать в открытом космосе?

00:08:16,554 --> 00:08:18,222

Ничего. Он же фальшивый. Полетим.

00:08:18,306 --> 00:08:19,557

Карта игры имеет края,

00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,434

но движок позволит

вылететь за их пределы.

00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:22,977

Тогда игра перезагрузится.

00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:25,855

Но сначала нас выбросит из игры,

так что Морти должен выжить.

00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,024

Я про тех Морти,

которые будут на борту.

00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:30,735

Так что если у тебя нет

пяти миллиардов платков с хлороформом,

00:08:30,818 --> 00:08:32,904

продолжай переманивать идиотов

на нашу сторону.

00:08:32,987 --> 00:08:35,073

Они не идиоты, дедушка. Они - это я.

00:08:35,573 --> 00:08:37,533

Ты поймешь, как это смешно,

когда мы вернемся.

00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,994

Кстати, я подобрал

твоего гениального отца.

00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:41,788

- Он там.

- Что? Почему?

00:08:41,871 --> 00:08:44,957

Я думал, ты поблагодаришь и не будешь

отвлекаться, если он не умрет.

00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:47,251

Он очень плох с тех пор,

как потерял жену.

00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,420

- Мою маму?

- Твою совсем не настоящую маму.

00:08:49,504 --> 00:08:53,091

Маму в видеоигре,

занятую крошечной частицей тебя.

00:08:53,174 --> 00:08:56,427

Частицей тебя, которая умерла навсегда.

И таких становится всё больше.

00:08:56,511 --> 00:08:59,931

В общем, я сказал привезти сюда твоего

отца. Не за что, бессердечный монстр.

00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,393

Марта, это я, папа.

Я обратился ради тебя.

00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,603

Меня зовут Морти. Как и тебя.

00:09:05,686 --> 00:09:07,814

И нет никакого обращения. Мы оба Морти.

00:09:07,897 --> 00:09:09,148

- Это факт.

- Конечно, дорогая.

00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:12,235

Как скажешь.

Не хочу ссориться. Я тобой горжусь.

00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,070

Ты злишься на меня,

ведь прежде чем ты стала

00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:16,406

влиятельнейшей в мире,

я отругал тебя за прическу

00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,324

и обозвал

распутной и безработной бродягой?

00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,660

На твоем месте я бы немного разозлился.

00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,538

Ты - это я.

С чего бы мне злиться на себя?

00:09:23,621 --> 00:09:26,290

Логично. Тут есть где поесть?

00:09:26,374 --> 00:09:27,917

В комнате отдыха есть мини-кухня.

00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,336

Мини-кухня?

Прям как на красной ковровой дорожке.

00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,171

- Что, прости?

- Я сказал: «Спасибо, супер.

00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:34,132

Мы все - часть Морти».

00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:36,509

Некоторые из нас -

более важные части, другие - менее.

00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:39,053

Блин, та часть меня,

которая мой отец, - придурочная.

00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:41,305

Это также будет смешным,

когда мы вернемся.

00:09:41,389 --> 00:09:43,516

Когда опять будешь делать

как в «Крепком орешке»,

00:09:43,808 --> 00:09:47,061

не прячься под длинным столом,

как мужик из «Крепкого орешка».

00:09:48,312 --> 00:09:49,439

Ладно, не буду.

00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,773

«ПАРАДИГМА НАКАТОМИ»

00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,817

Ты ж сказал,

она не в курсе «Крепкого орешка».

00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:55,486

- Не в курсе.

- Она убивает нас одного за другим.

00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:58,656

Что, по-твоему, она должна делать?

Купить нам по мороженому?

00:09:58,739 --> 00:10:02,451

Она импровизирует, и именно поэтому

попадет прямиком в нашу ловушку.

00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,245

Я буду бродить по галерее без оружия,

00:10:04,328 --> 00:10:07,039

а когда она встретится со мной,

притворюсь заложником.

00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:08,833

А раз она не смотрела «Крепкий орешек»,

00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:11,961

то вместо того, чтобы вручить мне

незаряженное ружье, она даст мне…

00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,547

«Крепкий орешек!»

00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:16,632

Что это было?

00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,176

«Крепкий орешек!»

00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:21,637

Нельзя просто орать в рацию:

«Крепкий орешек!»

00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:25,558

Она выбросила свою рацию.

Она ненавидит «Крепкий орешек»,

00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:29,937

что делает ее идеальным Макклейном.

00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:33,816

Забудь всё, что знаешь о «Крепком

орешке», и просто пристрели эту суку!

00:10:34,525 --> 00:10:36,694

Спасибо, что согласились встретиться,

м-р Рой.

00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:38,488

Полстраны ловит каждое ваше слово.

00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:42,116

Чёрт возьми, большая часть мира!

Думаю, вы что-то вроде Папы.

00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,951

Я не Папа, так как это не религия.

00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:45,244

Мы реально в видеоигре.

00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:47,663

Я слышал послание, Рой.

Вы здесь не на работе.

00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,582

Вы хотите собрать всех

на космические корабли,

00:10:49,665 --> 00:10:51,000

но у вас ведь есть противники.

00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,586

Может, это те, кто предпочитает

законно избранных лидеров?

00:10:53,669 --> 00:10:55,171

Точно. Ваши избиратели. Те, кто любит

00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,465

действовать по указке,

но не любит признавать это.

00:10:57,548 --> 00:11:00,009

- Я бы не стал так заявлять.

- Вы сказали бы глупее.

00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:01,677

Я же говорил: пустая трата времени.

00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,971

Смыться готовы 92% из вас.

00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:07,058

Мы не доберемся до остальных,

заключая сделки с паразитами.

00:11:07,141 --> 00:11:08,518

М-р президент, Рой - это Рик.

00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:12,271

Он - не мы. Вы и я, мы - Морти.

Неужели в это так трудно поверить?

00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:14,857

Малыш, я знаю это

и верю в это дольше, чем ты.

00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:17,193

Мы оба стали

персонажами видеоигры одновременно.

00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,487

Но я знал правду до того,

как ты забросила свой скейт

00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:20,821

и пошла на первое собрание.

00:11:20,905 --> 00:11:23,407

Как мужику стать президентом

в этой игре, а, дорогая?

00:11:23,491 --> 00:11:24,909

Не обращать ни на что внимания?

00:11:24,992 --> 00:11:27,411

Извини, что зову тебя «дорогая».

Знаю, мы оба - мальчик,

00:11:27,495 --> 00:11:29,997

но моя часть мальчика

старомодная и слегка южная.

00:11:30,081 --> 00:11:32,750

Я в замешательстве. Вы знаете,

что Рик настоящий, но почему…

00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,419

Зачем утаивать? Затем,

что он грубый, заносчивый петух.

00:11:35,503 --> 00:11:36,629

Он здесь, чтоб спасти нас.

00:11:36,712 --> 00:11:38,547

Он мог выйти из игры

и бросить нас умирать.

00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,134

- Он провел 50 лет…

- Для него 50 лет - это пара часов, да?

00:11:42,218 --> 00:11:45,638

Он отказывается уезжать без внука.

Но что для него значит понятие «внук»?

00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:46,931

Звучит как «дворецкий»,

00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:50,142

тот, кто поможет Саммер с «Крепким

орешком», что бы это ни значило.

00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:51,602

Скажу тебе, что это не значит.

00:11:51,686 --> 00:11:56,023

Ловля рыбы, объятия, признательность

за весьма приличного ребенка…

00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:57,233

Минимум 8% его

00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,569

составляют половину

величайшей гребаной нации на планете.

00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,029

Мы для него еще не человек.

00:12:02,113 --> 00:12:03,906

Мы еще не Морти. Мы разделены.

00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,284

Разделены, так как некоторые

не доверяют этому мужику.

00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,828

Что будет с этой частью,

когда мы станем единым целым?

00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:12,081

Один Морти, неделимый,

под капризным старым мешком членов,

00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,500

которого запирают

в коробке с пятью миллиардами штук

00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:17,628

его собственной плоти и крови

на 50 гребаных сымитированных лет

00:12:17,712 --> 00:12:19,380

и который сроду не сказал

«я люблю тебя»!

00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:23,134

Извини, глупые сиськи. Дохлый номер.

00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,177

Хочешь героина?

00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,762

Это видеоигра. Почему бы и нет?

00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,892

Почти готов к запуску, детка.

00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:33,561

Наконец-то я избавлюсь от этой одежды.

00:12:33,644 --> 00:12:36,939

Тут почти нет карманов, и было бы

неплохо вновь обрести собственный член.

00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,025

Тебе нормально, если 8% меня умрут?

00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:42,862

Это не самые лучшие 8%, Морти,

ими можно пожертвовать.

00:12:42,945 --> 00:12:44,488

Восемь процентов пиццы - корочка.

00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:46,907

Восемь процентов «Версии Снайдера» -

спящий Бэтмен.

00:12:46,991 --> 00:12:49,410

Я не знаю, что это за отсылка.

Мы в видеоигре.

00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:52,246

- Ненадолго, детка.

- Я не уеду без всего себя.

00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,290

Что? О нет. Давай объясню эти цифры.

00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:56,959

Восемь процентов от пяти миллиардов

плюс один человек…

00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,628

Боже, если ты останешься,

это ничего не изменит. Пока.

00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,881

Если она не полетит,

моя страна тоже не захочет.

00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,216

Кто просил вас влезать,

лицо на мониторе?

00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,677

Зачем давать монитор,

если мое мнение ничего не значит?

00:13:06,761 --> 00:13:08,929

Ваше мнение ничего не значит

для остальных из нас.

00:13:09,013 --> 00:13:11,724

Мы все Морти. От скольких частей нас

мы должны отказаться?

00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:15,061

Не знаю, как вы,

а я уже совершил большой прыжок веры.

00:13:15,144 --> 00:13:18,105

По сути, мы жертвуем своей жизнью,

чтоб стать частичкой незнакомца.

00:13:18,189 --> 00:13:20,691

- Эти жизни ненастоящие.

- Да, но они длиннее.

00:13:20,775 --> 00:13:23,611

Что это, самоубийство на саммите?

00:13:23,694 --> 00:13:24,904

Всё, хватит!

00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:29,450

Рик, я соберу все части себя

на все корабли и отправлюсь с тобой.

00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:32,078

- Хорошо.

- Но ты должен сказать, что любишь нас.

00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,040

Даже если он сейчас это скажет…

00:13:36,123 --> 00:13:37,541

К чему такая пауза?

00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:38,834

Да пошел ты! Ждать его еще!

00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,711

- Священная война!

- Священная война!

00:13:40,795 --> 00:13:42,254

Самая священная война!

00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,930

Лоялисты, сторонники

эвакуакратического внучатизма,

00:13:51,013 --> 00:13:52,515

контролируют сегодня семь городов,

00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,267

а государственно-общественная

Контрконфедерация

00:13:55,351 --> 00:13:58,270

Преданности Реальности Видеоигры

вторглась на территории

00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:00,940

Мортопии, в Новый Южный Сент-Морти

и в Мывсемортию.

00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,400

В конце концов, какая разница?

00:14:02,483 --> 00:14:04,110

Все Морти. Никто не хочет умирать.

00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:05,861

Это адский повод убить себя.

00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,738

Но что мы можем сделать? Боже.

00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:22,294

Ты же знаешь, что ты мой внук

и что всё это ненастоящее.

00:14:22,378 --> 00:14:25,047

Чего ты хочешь добиться?

Ты ведь себе только хуже делаешь.

00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,842

Мы ценны только потому,

что мы - фрагменты Морти.

00:14:27,925 --> 00:14:29,135

Ты учил нас этому, Рик.

00:14:29,218 --> 00:14:31,804

Но ты также дал нам понять,

что тебе плевать на Морти.

00:14:32,763 --> 00:14:34,014

Вот насколько мне не плевать!

00:14:34,098 --> 00:14:36,267

Если не перестанешь взрывать

мои летающие тарелки,

00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:38,352

я уничтожу каждого из вас,

до последнего.

00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:39,603

Я на всё пойду.

00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:43,065

Что я должен сказать?

Я люблю и уважаю тебя, хорошо?

00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,483

Слишком поздно для разговоров.

00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,530

- Робот. Конечно.

- Я не рискну умереть,

00:14:49,613 --> 00:14:52,658

потому что если я умру в игре,

у тебя умрет мозг. Не благодари.

00:14:52,742 --> 00:14:54,952

Лучше умереть в игре «Рой»,

чем прислуживать в аду.

00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:57,329

А Саммер? О ней ты подумал?

00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,331

Мы должны вернуться, помочь ей.

00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:02,585

Где бы она ни была, уверена, она

прекрасно справляется без твоей помощи.

00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:03,919

Не сглазь! Кто-нибудь!

00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:07,673

Закончить работу и подорвать это место?

00:15:07,757 --> 00:15:09,758

Нет, это не может закончиться. Не так.

00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,636

Думаешь, я ее сглазила?

00:15:14,972 --> 00:15:16,474

Почему ты не стреляешь выше?

00:15:16,557 --> 00:15:18,392

Не хочу попасть в стекло, потому что…

00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,187

Не нужно избегать делать то,

что было в «Крепком орешке».

00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:24,064

В стекло стрелять можно.

Стреляй в стекло.

00:15:24,148 --> 00:15:26,984

Бросай гранаты.

Делай всё, только убей ее!

00:15:32,323 --> 00:15:35,493

Зачем вы здесь, мисс Крепкий Орешек?

00:15:35,576 --> 00:15:38,245

Хочу понять, почему вы не уходите.

00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:39,872

«Крепкий орешек…»

00:15:39,955 --> 00:15:42,333

- Подождите.

- …на космическом корабле. И что потом?

00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,793

Потом мы поможем твоей сестре

с ее «Крепким орешком».

00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,301

Это уже чересчур.

00:15:52,801 --> 00:15:53,719

Извини.

00:15:53,802 --> 00:15:56,263

Мисс Крепкий Орешек,

у меня тут особый гость.

00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:00,059

Или мне лучше называть вас

сестрой этого парня?

00:16:06,649 --> 00:16:08,526

- Мама!

- Здравствуй, дорогая.

00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:11,195

- Я перехожу на другую сторону.

- Что? Почему?

00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:12,988

Хочу жить в реальном мире с Роем.

00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,907

Хочу помочь Саммер с «Крепким орешком».

00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,284

Его зовут Рик, и мы не можем знать,

00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:19,787

является ли ваше поколение

частью Морти.

00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:21,539

Знаешь, как это обидно?

00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:24,291

Такое воспитание и подтолкнуло меня

к религиозному радикализму.

00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:25,543

- Пока!

- Это не…

00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:28,671

Не религия, ну да ладно.

00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:31,840

Мэм, здесь действительно небезопасно.

00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,509

К тому же уже пора.

00:16:35,678 --> 00:16:37,012

ЛАРРИ

00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,723

Мы сейчас полетим

на космическом корабле?

00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:42,685

- Уже скоро, пап. Да.

- Ты лжешь?

00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:46,564

Ты сказала это тоном,

которым говорят с умирающими.

00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:49,149

Не буду тебе лгать. Ты умираешь, пап.

00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:52,236

И мы не уйдем из видеоигры.

00:16:52,319 --> 00:16:53,946

Будем жить здесь.

00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:55,864

Что? Какого хрена? Почему?

00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,950

- Здесь более реально.

- Да уж, блин!

00:16:58,033 --> 00:17:00,244

У меня болит печень. Я здесь стар.

00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:01,829

Я хочу быть подростком.

00:17:01,912 --> 00:17:05,124

Хочу прыгать, делать домашнюю работу

и постоянно дрочить.

00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:08,127

Но, папа, это…

Мы были бы крошечной частью этого.

00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,379

Здесь мы те,

кем являемся на самом деле.

00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:13,340

Да, отлично. Мертвые.

Я стану мертвым отцом.

00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:14,383

Кого я делаю…

00:17:15,092 --> 00:17:18,596

- Кого я… Кого…

- Не разговаривай, пап.

00:17:18,679 --> 00:17:20,139

Хочу закончить свою остроту.

00:17:20,222 --> 00:17:23,183

- Не надо…

- Кого я…

00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:27,229

Кого я выставил из дома?

00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,772

Самую лучшую дочь на свете…

00:17:29,523 --> 00:17:31,400

Зафиксировано?

00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:43,996

Думала, ты уже улетел.

00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:46,165

Я надеялся вернуть

хотя бы половину вас домой.

00:17:46,248 --> 00:17:47,458

Я больше не могу ждать.

00:17:47,541 --> 00:17:50,294

В этот момент мое сердце бьется

почти добровольно.

00:17:50,377 --> 00:17:53,464

В общем, это немного странно,

но замедление времени дало мне

00:17:53,547 --> 00:17:55,215

возможность как следует подумать,

00:17:55,299 --> 00:17:58,093

- и я должен сказать…

- В этом нет необходимости.

00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,387

Я пришла сказать, что даю добро.

00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:04,642

Все Морти улетят с тобой в реальный

мир, чтобы стать твоим внуком.

00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:06,894

Может, мы поможем Саммер

с ее «Крепким орешком».

00:18:06,977 --> 00:18:09,730

Хочу сказать, что такого я не ожидал.

00:18:09,813 --> 00:18:11,273

С чего такие перемены?

00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,109

Мои люди остаются со мной

только из преданности мне.

00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,862

Я реликт. Я их больше не представляю.

00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,990

Ты действительно хороший внук, знаешь?

00:18:20,074 --> 00:18:21,158

Я горжусь тобой, Морти.

00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:23,285

Пожалуйста, зови меня Мартой.

00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,828

Это мое имя в видеоигре.

00:18:25,579 --> 00:18:28,165

Кстати, об игре.

У меня есть одно условие.

00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:30,918

Признаю: я восхищаюсь вами,

мисс Крепкий Орешек.

00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:35,214

Вы настоящий Макклейн,

достойнейший головорез-янки.

00:18:35,297 --> 00:18:37,508

Но теперь всему пришел конец.

00:18:39,677 --> 00:18:43,013

А квотербек, как говорится,

произнесет тост.

00:18:43,097 --> 00:18:45,557

У вас же нет пистолета,

приклеенного скотчем к спине?

00:18:45,641 --> 00:18:48,185

- Что это значит?

- Так заканчивается «Крепкий орешек».

00:18:48,268 --> 00:18:49,186

Хотя сейчас неважно.

00:18:49,269 --> 00:18:50,980

В «Крепком орешке»

у него сзади пистолет?

00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,648

Таков конец идеального фильма,

00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,109

по которому вы строили

всю свою криминальную жизнь?

00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:57,152

Похоже, это сыграло мне на руку,

00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,238

потому что умрете именно вы.

00:18:59,363 --> 00:19:00,614

Как вы там говорили?

00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:04,326

Ах да. «Рация,

"Крепкий орешек", ублюдок…»

00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,706

- Почему вы смеетесь?

- Смешно.

00:19:08,789 --> 00:19:11,041

То, как ты сказал «ублюдок». Ржака.

00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:12,334

Ладно, просто…

00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,086

Это из «Крепкого орешка»?

00:19:14,169 --> 00:19:16,672

Смеется Джон Макклейн,

чем сбивает с толку Ганса Грубера,

00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,799

и они какое-то время смеются вместе?

00:19:18,882 --> 00:19:20,592

Да, там всё именно так и происходит.

00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:22,177

Стоп. Ты знала, как их зовут?

00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:25,097

Не с самого начала. Нет.

Ты оставил свою книгу в туалете.

00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:28,016

Я читала ее, пока какала.

В основном концовку.

00:19:48,203 --> 00:19:50,247

Оп-па, малыш!

00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,126

Как вовремя, дедушка Рик!

00:19:55,335 --> 00:19:57,421

Доктор Осолизиум.

00:19:59,339 --> 00:20:00,549

Привет. Помнишь меня?

00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:02,051

Ты подстрелил меня на столе.

00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:05,053

Предсмертный опыт

заставил меня задуматься.

00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,555

Раньше я не был таким.

00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:10,726

Я съел ребенка. Было темно,

и я подумал, что он взрослый.

00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,145

С тех пор я вообще никого не ем.

00:20:13,228 --> 00:20:16,356

Думаю, я направил

всю сдерживаемую энергию на эту работу.

00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,357

Но теперь…

00:20:20,444 --> 00:20:22,029

Спасибо, что освободила меня.

00:20:25,115 --> 00:20:26,658

Классический «Человек-башня».

00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:29,119

- Даже чересчур. Верно, Морти?

- Конечно.

00:20:29,203 --> 00:20:31,914

В том смысле, что как скажешь, Рик.

Тебе лучше знать.

00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,749

Я доверяю тебе безоговорочно.

00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:36,043

- С ним всё в порядке?

- Да.

00:20:36,126 --> 00:20:38,879

Я достал его полностью, всего.

До последнего фрагмента.

00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,758

Что по поводу

брошенного аппарата «Рой»?

00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,384

Не отвезешь его в ремонт?

00:20:44,468 --> 00:20:45,511

Нет. Особый приказ.

00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:48,430

Какой-то богатый придурок

хочет продолжать последнюю игру.

00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,015

Подключился к внешнему аккумулятору.

00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:51,725

- Его надо просто хранить.

- Странно.

00:20:51,809 --> 00:20:54,561

Ага, а как тебе это?

Игра продолжается, а Рой мертв.

00:20:54,645 --> 00:20:56,105

- Что?

- Да, он просто труп,

00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,523

дрейфующий по краю космоса.

00:20:57,606 --> 00:20:59,441

Но почему-то игра не перезагружается,

00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:02,277

поскольку она замкнута

на какую-то старуху, живущую там.

00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,737

Звучит не очень…

00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:05,447

Ладно, поставь его туда.

00:21:05,781 --> 00:21:09,118

«РОЙ»

ОТЛИЧНО ПРОЖИТАЯ ЖИЗНЬ

00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:13,831

А если кто-то захочет, он сможет…

00:21:13,914 --> 00:21:16,458

Да, всё каталогизировано и отслежено.

00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,752

Люди неправильно

представляли размер пространства,

00:21:18,836 --> 00:21:21,255

- оно в цифровом виде.

- Так можно поставить куда угодно?

00:21:21,338 --> 00:21:23,715

- Здесь нормально?

- Везде нормально.

00:21:56,957 --> 00:22:00,085

Я ВСЕХ НЕНАВИЖУ

00:22:02,296 --> 00:22:04,089

Почему на него никто не нападает?

00:22:04,173 --> 00:22:05,507

Из-за мороза?

00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,217

Нет, думаю, из-за надписи.

00:22:07,301 --> 00:22:09,469

Надпись из «Крепкого орешка - 3»

явно расистская.

00:22:09,553 --> 00:22:11,889

Точно. Но, думаю,

мы зашли слишком далеко.

00:22:11,972 --> 00:22:15,392

- «Всех?» Обидно же!

- Всех?

00:22:15,475 --> 00:22:17,644

В данный момент

зачем вообще это делать?

00:22:19,229 --> 00:22:21,857

Вот бы мой брат был жив.

00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,570

СВЕТЛОЙ ПАМЯТИ МАЙКА МЕНДЕЛА

00:00:27,552 --> 00:00:29,082

СЬОГОДНІ МІТИНГ: «ТИ МІЙ ОНУК»

00:03:46,782 --> 00:03:48,782

НЕ ТОРКАЙСЯ МЕНЕ!

00:04:15,862 --> 00:04:18,742

Привіт, привіт

Мене Морті звати

00:04:18,832 --> 00:04:22,332

Мені чотирнадцять

Я мушу у грі стирчати

00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,482

ТАКІ СОБІ НОВИНИ!

00:07:39,282 --> 00:07:41,322

«ДІВУЛІ ДІВУЛІ ДІВУЛІ» 21+

00:09:49,992 --> 00:09:51,772

ПАРАДИГМА НАКАТОМІ

00:16:35,782 --> 00:16:37,442

ЛАРРІ

00:19:54,722 --> 00:19:57,812

Ода до радості...

00:21:06,782 --> 00:21:08,782

«РОЙ»: ЧУДОВО ПРОЖИТЕ ЖИТТЯ

00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:58,782

Я УСІХ НЕНАВИДЖУ

00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,137

I keep a nice store!

00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,555

Give it up, old man!

00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:17,350

We're just cool bad kids

doing young stuff! Chh!

00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,601

[ Laughter ]

00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,478

You guys wanna do

more skateboard moves?

00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,981

Which ones?

The rad ones,

that's which!

00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,607

How are you kids?

00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,276

Did you know your grandpa's

tryin' to get your attention?

00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,902

Yeah, yeah,

screw off, weirdo.

00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,904

Grandson,

w-w-what's that mean?

00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,614

He's one of

those cult people.

00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,116

They worship some psycho

named Roy

00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,743

that says

he's everybody's grandpa.

00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,954

So what do you want to do today,

e-eat some snacks

00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,290

and maybe let me

kiss you finally?

00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,833

Y'know,

with my mouth and stuff?

00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,209

This is going on

right now.

00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,919

L-Let's go check it out.

Aw, geez.

00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,422

C-Come on, just for fun,

you know?

00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,840

No, that's not what I'm--

00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,633

You guys keep thinking

I'm a religious leader.

00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,969

This isn't a religion.

This is actual truth.

00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,387

I'm a scientist in real life,

00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,473

but this isn't real life,

this is a video game.

00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,933

Y-Y-You at least understand

that much, right?

00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,185

This is a video game?

00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,103

But you said

I'm your grandson?

00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,480

I'm saying everyone is.

00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,565

Everyone here,

everyone in this world but me.

00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,901

You're all my grandson,

your name is Morty,

00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,153

you're stuck in a video game,

and I'm here to get you out.

00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,155

What about me?

Am I your grandson?

00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,865

I just said everyone is!

00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,158

- Wow!

- Incredible!

00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,659

Okay, okay,

but don't react like that.

00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,120

It's not a religion.

This is what is happening.

00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,955

You and me and your sister

are at an arcade

00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,207

called Blips and Chitz.

00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,666

It's been taken over

by terrorists.

00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,668

The power went out,

the game restarted,

00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,128

and your identity

has been splintered

00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,963

into all the non-player

characters.

00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,800

So I jacked in as Roy,

that's the player character,

00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,343

to get you, my grandson, Morty,

00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,637

out of the game

before it's over and you die.

00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,138

Okay, question over here.

00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,516

Am I your grandson?

Jesus! Yes!

00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,101

Every single one of you

is one five-billionth of Morty.

00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,187

All of you,

collectively, are Morty.

00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,772

Look, I-I don't wanna

seem impatient

00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,857

but there's actually a lot more

that we have to get done

00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,484

so if this is

how hard it's gonna be,

00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,819

we are in a lot of trou--

00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,153

Summer, what?!

00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,531

I can't do this

if you keep bugging me!

00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,407

Do you understand

time dilation?

00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,117

I'm losing a month

a second out here.

00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,119

There's an alien army

shooting people.

00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,496

What am I doing?!

00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,872

It's a small group of

alien terrorists.

00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,291

Just do a "Die Hard."

What does that mean?

00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,794

Sneak around, use air vents.

You've never seen "Die Hard"?

00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,880

I'm 17. No, I've never

seen fucking "Die Hard"!

00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,340

Well, neither did

the guy in "Die Hard,"

00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,926

so you're nailing it!

Good luck!

00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:22,892

{\an8}♪

00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:38,741

{\an8}♪

00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:46,708

{\an8}♪

00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,042

{\an8}Joanna: Larry...

00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,502

{\an8}Larry: No, I'm at the end

of my rope with this kid,

00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,380

{\an8}I swear to God...

00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,716

{\an8}Oh, you gotta be kidding me!

00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,716

{\an8}Your beautiful hair!

00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,676

{\an8}This is not

a daughter's haircut!

00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,428

{\an8}I'm not a daughter,

I'm a grandson.

00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,388

{\an8}Your family had

a perfectly fine religion!

00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,890

{\an8}You were raised Jewish!

00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,142

{\an8}Dad, tell me anything specific

about being Jewish.

00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,602

{\an8}There's a million

things!

00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,021

{\an8}You go to the temple with the--

the-- the special hat,

00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,606

{\an8}t-the falafafluten--

00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,024

{\an8}Oh,

the falafafluten?

00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,442

{\an8}Our Jewish words

are gibberish

00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,902

{\an8}because we're

a 14-year-old boy

00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,820

{\an8}who was raised

nondenominational Christian

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,196

{\an8}and we're in

a video game!

00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,782

{\an8}I don't need to hear this

schmoitenheiven!

00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,784

{\an8}Let me ask you this,

little miss grandson,

00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,620

{\an8}little miss

video game character.

00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,788

{\an8}If you're not my daughter,

why stand in my house

00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,373

{\an8}spouting this

chatschkopfka?

00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,625

{\an8}Why even live here?

00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:29,959

{\an8}Good question.

00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,377

{\an8}There she goes!

My daughter!

00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,547

{\an8}One five-billionth of a kid

trapped in a video game!

00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,216

{\an8}Yeah, that and a college

degree'll pay the rent!

00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,594

{\an8}[ Static ]

00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,264

{\an8}What do you people want?

00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,599

{\an8}We have many interests,

00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,644

{\an8}but right now my primary one

is the location.

00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,520

{\an8}Of. Your. Safe.

00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,856

{\an8}We exchange tokens

for digital currency.

00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,149

{\an8}We don't have a safe.

00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,818

{\an8}Correction,

what you don't have is a head.

00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,236

{\an8}Ohh!

00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,280

{\an8}Is this a weapon

or a medical tool?

00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,658

{\an8}Why would you give me a gun

with a laser that thin?

00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,077

{\an8}Did you hear me tell him

he wouldn't have a head?

00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,079

{\an8}- He's dead, isn't he?

- People die in surgery.

00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,497

{\an8}Hey!

Who don't touched me?!

00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,415

{\an8}I don't like being touched!

00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,959

{\an8}Check the hostages.

00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:16,005

{\an8}Make sure nobody else here

is doing a "Die Hard."

00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,967

{\an8}♪ Hello, hello, hello,

my name is Morty ♪

00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,553

{\an8}♪ I'm a 14-year-old boy

in a video game ♪

00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,472

{\an8}- Alright! Yeah!

- Aw, geez!

00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,849

{\an8}Yeah. Look. I feel like

every time I explain this,

00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,768

{\an8}I lose followers,

but this isn't a religion.

00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,604

{\an8}And while I do have a message

from a world beyond this one,

00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,899

{\an8}and I do need the entire world

to hear my message,

00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,443

{\an8}what I do not need

is any more songs about it.

00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,695

Not in this genre.

00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,238

I'm an old-school hip-hop man,

00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,782

and no, that's not an invitation

for you to try it

00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,200

because I'm just gonna say it,

00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,327

we're missing the mark

on diversity.

00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,080

[ Crashing ]

00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,665

Get down!

00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,458

You're all under arrest for

being religious the wrong way!

00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,293

It's not a religion!

You know what, just shoot me.

00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,087

You think your god

makes you bulletproof?

00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,755

There isn't even a God

in the real world,

00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,173

you fragmented putz.

00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,591

There's extra no God

in here.

00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:01,843

You know what, hippie?

00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,261

Talking like that is why

you're getting shot!

00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,596

If you kill him, the game ends

and we all die.

00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,390

Get down, lady!

I'm not a lady.

00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,808

And you're not a soldier.

00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,310

We're one person, split into

a lot of little pieces.

00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,562

Y-You feel me?

Dawg?

00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,732

Y-Y-You're not gonna hurt me.

You're me.

00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,192

My name is Kevin!

I'm a Marine! I'm 30!

00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,819

I'm a little racist

but my best friend

00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,404

is an immigrant

that translated for me

00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,031

in a generic overseas war!

00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,240

That's not true.

00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,492

We're 14, we like pizza

and masturbation,

00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,869

we wear a yellow shirt,

00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,662

and we have hair

that looks like a brown helmet.

00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,997

A-And we miss our family.

00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,458

And we're in way

over our heads again.

00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,084

Why's this always happen, man?

00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,003

I know, right?

00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,089

Aw, geez.

Come here.

00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,842

- Aw, geez.

- Aw, geez.

00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,926

Who is that?

00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,595

Her video game name

is Marta.

00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:49,348

Okay.

See, this I can work with.

00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,768

"Sneak around.

Crawl in some vents.

00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,728

Do a 'Die Hard.'"

00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,855

[ Screams ]

00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,857

{\an8}♪

00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,525

[ Chiming ]

00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,902

[ Gasps ]

00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:05,281

[ Both scream ]

00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,492

Oh, my God, it's disgusting!

00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,993

Actually,

it tastes really good.

00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,496

Oh, my God, it's disgusting

that it tastes good!

00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,039

Frank, have you found him?

Report.

00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,625

Oh. Oh. Walkie talkie.

That's "Die Hard."

00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,085

Don't have to see it

to know that.

00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,129

This is Jons.

I repeat, have you found him?

00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,881

Breaker, breaker.

Walkie talkie.

00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,674

I got your walkie talkie. Bitch.

00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,511

Are you doing a "Die Hard"?

00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,137

Maybe.

00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,598

Are... you?

Also?

00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,599

More or less.

00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,267

And my associate, Frank?

00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,603

Uh, your associate Frank

is definitely not

00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,063

doing a "Die Hard."

00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,191

You might even say

he's doing a Die Easy.

00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,236

Because I killed him

and it wasn't difficult.

00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,321

Calm yourself, Winslow.

00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,531

Winslow!

00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,199

Ugh.

00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,034

It's not every day

one meets a fellow

00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,620

"Die Hard" enthusiast,

Ms...

00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,830

Call me "Die Hard."

00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,331

Okay, Die Hard.

00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,084

Tell me. What do you know

about "Die Hard"?

00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,878

What do you care? You writing

a book about "Die Hard"?

00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,755

As a matter of fact,

I've written several.

00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,007

Every sentient civilization

across the galaxy

00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,218

eventually develops

the same myth.

00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,303

In Centauri, it's known

as "Tower Man."

00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,014

The Orionese have

their "Thornberg Cycle."

00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,349

And in Andromeda it's called

00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,852

"Foolish to Have Imagined

You'd Be Able to Kill."

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,020

All of them

what you'd call "Die Hard."

00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,231

The difference being that

cultures like mine

00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,526

are aware of its importance

whereas I'm starting to doubt

00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,486

you could even recall

a single line.

00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,156

Walkie talkie "Die Hard,"

motherfucker.

00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,366

Aaah!

00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:32,827

{\an8}News Anchor: Not so long ago,

Grandsonism was being dismissed

00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,328

{\an8}as a doomsday cult.

00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,872

{\an8}But since a majority

of the world decided,

00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,623

{\an8}hey you know what,

we like jerking off

00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,417

{\an8}and playing video games

and our sister is out there

00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,544

{\an8}fighting terrorists,

major strides have been made.

00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,171

{\an8}The world is united,

because the world

00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,047

{\an8}is one 14-year-old boy, Morty.

00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,299

{\an8}But where's it all coming from?

00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,509

{\an8}Some say Grandsonism's leader, Roy,

00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,720

{\an8}has a secret base

somewhere in these mountains.

00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,055

{\an8}I-I-I couldn't find it

so I'm standing in--

00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,099

{\an8}in the general area

with a microphone.

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,226

{\an8}For Good Enough News, I'm Tony!

00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:06,068

{\an8}♪

00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,070

There she is,

my right-hand Morty!

00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,739

Got enough spaceships?

Not yet.

00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,407

I figure five more years

of game time

00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,534

before I can take

the whole fake population

00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,660

into fake outer space.

00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,245

What do we do in outer space?

00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,914

Nothing. It's fake.

W-We keep going.

00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:19,373

The game's map has edges,

00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,250

but the game's engine

will let us go past them.

00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,960

That will force the game

to reset,

00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,463

but first it will kick us out,

which Morty should survive.

00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,924

I mean, whatever amount of Morty

we have on board.

00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,467

So if you don't have

five billion handkerchiefs

00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,927

soaked in chloroform,

00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,720

I hope you can keep

flipping idiots to our cause.

00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,180

They're not idiots, Grandpa.

00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,640

They're me. Ha.

00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,266

You'll know how funny that is

when we get back.

00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,852

By the way, I had your genius

of a father picked up.

00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,479

He's over there.

What? Why?

00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,522

I thought you'd be grateful

and less distracted

00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,107

than if I let him die.

00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,901

He's been in real bad shape

since he lost his wife--

00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,277

My mom?

00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,571

Your not-at-all-real mom,

a mom in a video game.

00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,865

Occupied by a tiny fraction

of yourself.

00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,034

A fraction of yourself which is

now dead forever,

00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,662

and fractions add up,

so I had your dad brought here.

00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,122

You're welcome,

you heartless monster.

00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,958

Marta.

It's me, Dad.

00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,292

I converted for you.

00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,419

My name is Morty.

So is yours.

00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,754

And there's no conversion.

00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,339

We're both Morty.

It's a fact.

00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,715

Sure, honey,

anything you say.

00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:12,134

I don't want to fight.

I'm proud of you.

00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,761

Are you mad at me

because before you became

00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,180

the world's most powerful woman,

I shamed you for your haircut

00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,140

and called you

a slutty jobless hobo?

00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,685

If I were you, I'd be

a little mad about that.

00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,354

You are me. A-and why would I

be mad at myself?

00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,107

Good point! Is there anything

to-- to eat around here?

00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,650

There's a kitchenette

in the break room.

00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,152

Oh, a kitchenette you say.

Such red carpet treatment.

00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,988

Excuse me?

I said thank you, I love it,

00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,864

we-- we--

we're all part of Morty!

00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,325

Some of us more important parts

than others...

00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,786

Man, the part of me

that's my father is a twat.

00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,163

That's also gonna be funny

when we get back.

00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,457

Next time you try to do

a "Die Hard,"

00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,086

don't hide under a long table

like the guy from "Die Hard."

00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,129

[ Screams ]

00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,423

Okay, I won't.

00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,550

I thought you said she doesn't

know how to do a "Die Hard"!

00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:55,177

She doesn't.

00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,177

She's killing us off

one by one!

00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,513

What do you expect her to do,

buy us each an ice cream?

00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,765

Two by two?

She's improvising.

00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,268

Which is how she's going to

fall right into our trap.

00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,936

I'm going to wander

the arcade unarmed,

00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,814

and when she comes across me,

I'll pretend to be a hostage.

00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,649

And because she hasn't seen

"Die Hard,"

00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,568

instead of handing me

an unloaded gun,

00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,111

she'll hand me a--

ugh!

00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,114

"Die Hard"! "Die Hard"!

"Die Hard"!

00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,615

What the hell was that?!

00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,034

Summer: "Die Hard"!

"Die Hard"!

00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,036

You can't just keep yelling

"Die Hard"

00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,871

into a walkie talkie and--

ugh!

00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,040

She threw her

walkie talkie away!

00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,916

She hates "Die Hard"!

00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,837

Which makes her

the ultimate McClane.

00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,881

Forget everything you know

about "Die Hard"

00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,924

and just go

shoot that bitch!

00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,552

President Leland: Thank you for

meeting with me, Mr. Roy.

00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,387

Half the country hangs

on your every word.

00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,889

Heck, most of the world.

00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,724

You're, like, uh,

kind of a pope, I reckon.

00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,642

L-- I'm not a pope because

it's not a religion.

00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,311

We're literally

in a video game.

00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,396

I've heard the message, Roy.

You're not on the clock here.

00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,023

So you want every single person

on a spaceship.

00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,733

But you got

a bunch of holdouts.

00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,319

Maybe people that prefer their

leaders a little more elected.

00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,612

Right. Your voters.

00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:55,946

People that like

being told what to do

00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,239

but don't like

admitting it.

00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,449

Yeah, not sure

I'd put it that way.

00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,117

I'm sure you'd put it

a stupid way.

00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,494

I told you this was

a waste of time.

00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,662

I've got 92% of you

ready to vamoose.

00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,624

We're not gonna get the rest

by making deals with parasites.

00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,334

Mr. President,

Roy is Rick.

00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,878

He's not us.

You and I, w-we're Morty.

00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,254

Is that really so hard

to believe?

00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,506

Kid, I've known it

and I've believed it

00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,091

longer than you have.

00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,884

We both became video game

characters at the same moment,

00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,261

but I knew the truth before you

dropped your skateboard

00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,930

and went to your first

cult meeting.

00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,265

How do you think a guy becomes

a President in this game, honey?

00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,558

By not paying attention?

00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,976

Sorry to call you honey,

00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,603

I know we're both parts

of a 14-year-old boy,

00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,814

but my part's old-fashioned

and vaguely Southern.

00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,608

I'm confused. If-- If you know

Rick is real, why--

00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,111

Why hold out? Because he's

a rude, entitled cock.

00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,445

He's here to save us.

00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,364

He-- He could've left the game

and let us die.

00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,615

He's spent 50 years--

00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,909

50 years, it's what,

a couple hours to him?

00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,869

He refuses to leave

without his grandson,

00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,413

but what's grandson

mean to him?

00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,872

Sounds like

it means butler.

00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,958

Someone to "Help Summer

with her 'Die Hard,'"

00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,167

whatever that means.

00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,419

I'll tell you what

it doesn't mean.

00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,129

Fly fishing.

A hug.

00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,756

A little appreciation for what

is clearly a pretty decent kid.

00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,217

At least the 8% of him

that makes up the decent half

00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,469

of the greatest God damn nation

on the planet.

00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,762

We're not a person

to him yet.

00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,764

We're not Morty yet.

We-We're divided.

00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,016

We're divided because some of us

doesn't trust the guy.

00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,727

What happens to that part of us

when we're all back together?

00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,146

One Morty?

Indivisible?

00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,856

Under a cranky old

bag of dicks?

00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,275

A man you can lock in a box

with five billion pieces

00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,818

of his own God damn

flesh and blood

00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,653

for 50 God damn

simulated years

00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,156

and never hear him say

"I love you"?

00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,784

Sorry, pumpkin tits,

that dog don't hunt.

00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,869

Wa-Want some heroin?

00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,079

I-It's a video game,

might as well.

00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,667

Roy: Just about ready

for launch, kiddo.

00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,335

I can finally get outta

these clothes.

00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,837

I don't have nearly

enough pockets.

00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,589

And it'll be nice to have

my own dick back.

00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,883

Y-you're fine leaving

8% of me to die?

00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,676

It's not your finest

8%, Morty.

00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,761

And 8% of anything

is expendable.

00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,305

8% of pizza is crust.

00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,682

8% of the Snyder Cut

was Batman dreaming.

00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,017

I don't know what

that reference is!

00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,436

We're in a video game!

00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,436

Not for long, baby!

00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,021

I'm not leaving

without all of me.

00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,273

What? Oh, no, let me crunch

these numbers.

00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,692

8% of five billion

plus one person--

00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,403

my God, if you stay,

it changes nothing! Bye.

00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,697

If she's not going, I don't

think my country wants to go.

00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,949

Who invited you to chime in,

monitor face?

00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,202

Why give me a monitor

if my opinion doesn't matter?

00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,621

Your opinion isn't allowed

to matter for the rest of us.

00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,039

We're all a-Morty.

00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,540

How many chunks of us are we

a-supposed to give up?

00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,209

Look, I don't know about you,

but I was already

00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,793

taking a big leap of faith, here.

00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,378

We-We're basically

giving up our lives

00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,922

to become a tiny part

of a stranger--

00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,048

These lives

aren't a-real!

00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,841

Yeah, but they're longer!

00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,511

What-- What is this,

suicide by summit meeting?

00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,888

Everyone stop.

00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,890

Rick,

I'll get every single part of me

00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,892

to get on every ship

and go with you. Good.

00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:34,146

But you have to tell us

you love us.

00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,856

I mean, at this point

even if he said it,

00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,316

what-- what--

what's with the pause?

00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,901

Screw you, wait for it!

00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,569

- Holy war!

- Holier war!

00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,238

Holiest war ever!

00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,246

News Anchor: Loyalist

Evacucratic Grandsonistas

00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,039

claimed seven new cities today

00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,583

while the Stayputlican

Contrasurgent Confederation

00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,460

of Dedication to

Video Game Reality

00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,546

invaded the territories

of Mortopia,

00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,714

New South Saint Morty,

and Wemortyall.

00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,716

In the end, what does it matter,

everyone's Morty,

00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,718

nobody wants to die,

and that's a hell of a reason

00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,804

to kill yourself,

but what can we do?

00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,597

Aw, geez.

00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:19,066

{\an8}♪

00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,819

You know you're my grandson

and none of this is real!

00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,530

What are you trying to achieve?

You're only hurting yourself!

00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,449

The only reason any of us matter

is we're pieces of Morty!

00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,951

You taught us that, Rick.

00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,246

But you also taught us

you don't care about Morty.

00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,622

Here's how much I care.

00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,749

If you don't stop blowing up

my flying saucers,

00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,960

I will exterminate

every last one of you!

00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,628

Anything it takes!

00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,715

What do I have to say?

I love and respect you, okay?

00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,633

Too late for talk, Rick.

00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,095

A robot.

Of course.

00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,472

I'm not gonna risk dying

because if I die in the game,

00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,308

you go brain dead,

you're welcome!

00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,268

Better to die in Roy

than to serve in hell!

00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,979

And what about Summer?

Do-- Do you not care about her?

00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,814

We gotta get back, Morty.

We gotta help her.

00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,149

You know what,

wherever she is,

00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,192

I'm sure she's doing fine

without your help.

00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,903

Woof, jinx, anyone?

00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,156

Should we finish the job,

b-blow the place?

00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,534

No, this can't end,

not like this.

00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,369

Do you think

I jinxed her?

00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,040

Why aren't you

shooting higher?

00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,958

I don't wanna shoot the glass. Because...

00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,628

You don't have to not do things

that were done in "Die Hard."

00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,672

You can shoot the glass.

Shoot the glass!

00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,633

Throw grenades!

Do everything!

00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,427

Just kill her!

00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,184

Why are you here,

Miss Die Hard?

00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,020

I want to know why

you don't just leave.

00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,855

Summer: "Die Hard"!

00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,855

Wait. Shh. Shh.

00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,024

Daughter: Aw, geez, we get every

single person on a spaceship,

00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,276

and then what?

00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,276

And then we help your sister

do her "Die Hard."

00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:50,032

{\an8}♪

00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,825

Too much.

It's too much.

00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,202

Ooh, sorry.

00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:56,246

I've got a special guest

with me, Ms. Die Hard!

00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,873

Or should I call you...

00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,917

this guy's sister?

00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:06,256

{\an8}♪

00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,341

Mom.

00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,385

Hello, dear.

00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,385

I'm joining the other side.

00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,594

What? Why?

00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,513

I wanna live in the real world

with Roy.

00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,223

I wanna help Summer

with her Die Hard."

00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,767

His name is Rick.

And we have no way of knowing

00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,228

if your generation

is actually part of Morty.

00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,813

Do you know

how offensive that is?

00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,398

It's parenting like this

that pushed me

00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,899

into religious radicalism.

00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,734

Bye.

It's not--

00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,444

Not a religion.

00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,071

But okay.

00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,407

Ma'am,

it's really not safe out here.

00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,284

Also, it's...

time.

00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,331

Are we going on

the spaceship now?

00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,916

Pretty soon, Dad. Yeah.

00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,334

Are you... lying?

00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,169

You kind of said it with

that tone in your voice

00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,921

that we use for dying people.

00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,841

I won't lie to you.

You're dying, Dad.

00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,509

And we're...

00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,760

not leaving the video game.

00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,554

We're-- We're gonna

live our lives out here.

00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,888

What?

Why the fuck?!

00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,765

Why?

It's more real here.

00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,726

The hell it is!

My liver hurts!

00:16:58,726 --> 00:16:59,768

I'm old here!

00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,353

I wanna be a teenage boy!

00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,063

I want to jump around

and do homework

00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,773

and jerk off

all over the place.

00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,983

But, Dad, that's--

00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,609

We would've been one

tiny part of that.

00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,070

In here, we get to be

who we really are.

00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,447

Yeah. Great. Dead.

00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,990

I get to be

a dead father.

00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,366

Who do I make the--

00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,119

[ Grunts ]

Who do I-- Who--

00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,203

Don't talk, Dad.

00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,830

Gotta finish my zinger

00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,039

You don't.

00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,083

Who do-- Who do--

00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,879

Who do I

make the check out to?

00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,381

"Best Daughter Ever...

00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,341

Incorporated"?

00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,302

[ Flatline ]

00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:41,852

{\an8}♪

00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,228

Thought you woulda

left by now.

00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,355

I was hoping to get at least

half of you home.

00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:46,899

I can't hold out

much longer.

00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,651

I-I'm pretty much beating my

heart voluntarily at this point.

00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,320

Okay,

this is a little awkward,

00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,031

but the time dilation has

given me a chance to reflect.

00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,534

And I-I-I gotta say--

00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:57,534

There's no need for that.

00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,912

I've come to tell you,

I'm giving the go-ahead.

00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,705

All of Morty

will leave with you.

00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:02,831

To the real world.

00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,333

To be your grandson,

00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,335

may we help Summer

do her "Die Hard."

00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,213

I-I gotta say,

I-I was not expecting that.

00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,839

W-Why the change of heart?

00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,759

My people are staying

only out of loyalty to me.

00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:14,885

I'm a relic.

00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,762

I don't represent them anymore.

00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,640

You really are a good grandson,

you know that?

00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,766

I'm proud of you, Morty.

00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,935

Please, call me Marta.

00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,020

That's my video game name.

00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:28,232

Speaking of which,

I do have one condition.

00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,442

I must say I admire you,

Ms. Die Hard.

00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,319

You were

a genuine McClane--

00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,822

a most worthy

Yankee doodle ruffian.

00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:39,117

But now

it's all come to an end.

00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:42,621

And the quarterback,

as they say, is toast.

00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,165

I don't suppose you have a gun

taped to your back.

00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,625

What the hell

does that mean?

00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,794

It's how "Die Hard" ends.

Doesn't matter now.

00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,546

"Die Hard" tapes a gun

to his back?

00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,130

That's the end of your

perfect movie

00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,550

that you've patterned your

whole criminal life after?

00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,677

Well, it seems to have worked

out pretty well for me

00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,887

since you're the one

about to die.

00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,223

What was it you said?

Ah, yes.

00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,892

"Walkie talkie 'Die Hard,'

motherfucker."

00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,394

[ Laughs ]

00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,895

Why are you laughing?

00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,272

Well, it's funny.

00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,023

The way you said motherfucker.

00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,234

Just laughing. Okay.

It's just that--

00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,527

Oh, does that happen

in "Die Hard"?

00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,736

Does John McClane laugh,

00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,238

and then Hans Gruber

is confused

00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,115

but then they start

laughing together for a second?

00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,950

That actually does happen,

yes!

00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,785

Wait. You knew their names

this whole time?

00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,245

Not this whole time, no.

00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,538

You left your book

in the bathroom.

00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,789

I read it

while I took a shit.

00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,749

I mean,

mostly the ending.

00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:36,925

{\an8}♪

00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,344

[ Slow-motion ]

Yiiiiiiiiiii...

00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,139

{\an8}♪

00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,808

...ippppppeeeeeeeee...

00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,603

{\an8}♪

00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:52,232

Oh.

00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:52,232

...dippee doo, baby!

00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,860

Nice timing,

Grandpa Rick!

00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:58,030

Tochter aus Elysium...

00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,115

Uh...

00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,115

Hi, remember me?

00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:01,533

You shot me

on that table,

00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,661

and the near-death experience

got me reflecting.

00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,121

I didn't used to be like this.

00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,081

I-I...uh, ate a kid.

00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,208

It was dark, and I thought

he was a grown-up.

00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,669

Ever since then, I haven't

eaten anybody at all.

00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,338

I think I was channeling

all that pent-up

00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,006

eating energy into this job.

00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,382

But now...

00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,968

[ Snarls ]

00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,387

Thank you for freeing me.

00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,556

[ Roars ]

00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,141

Classic "Tower Man."

00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,893

Almost too on the nose.

Right, Morty?

00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,228

Sure. I mean, whatever you say, Rick.

00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,148

Y-You know best!

I trust you implicitly.

00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,274

Is he alright?

00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,567

Oh, yeah, he's fine.

00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,612

Got him all out,

every last piece.

00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,199

What's with the jacked-up

"Roy" machine?

00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,784

Shouldn't you be

taking that to repairs?

00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,327

Nah, special order.

00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,996

Some rich douche wants

his last game to keep running.

00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,498

Hooked it up

to an external battery.

00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,832

We're just

supposed to store it.

00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,167

Weird.

Yeah, and get this.

00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,252

The game's still going,

but Roy's dead.

00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,504

What?

Yeah, he's just a corpse

00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,005

floating at the edge

of outer space,

00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,966

but for some reason

the game won't restart

00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,927

'cause it's centered on some

old lady living a full life.

00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,512

Hmm.

Sounds bad.

00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,222

Well,

put it in there.

00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:10,978

{\an8}♪

00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,271

Hey is anybody that wants

this later gonna be able to--

00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,857

Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's

cataloged and tracked.

00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,193

People got the wrong idea

from the size of the space,

00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,569

but it's all supported digitally.

00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,321

So I can put it anywhere.

Here's fine?

00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,532

That's as fine

as anywhere else!

00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:33,041

{\an8}♪

00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:42,634

{\an8}♪

00:21:42,718 --> 00:22:01,695

{\an8}♪

00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,780

Why isn't anyone

attacking him?

00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:05,073

It's fucking

freezing out.

00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,700

No,

I think it's the sign.

00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,036

Well, the sign from "Die Hard 3"

was clearly racist.

00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,413

Obviously.

But I think we went too broad.

00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,665

"Everybody"?

I mean, who is that offending?

00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,250

Everybody?

00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:18,837

At this point,

why even do it?

00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:21,715

I wish my brother

was still alive.

00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,216

{\an8}[ Shouting indistinctly ]

00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,760

Did you get any of that?

00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,261

{\an8}[ Guitar strums ]