Рикмурай Джек

00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,017

It's the crow man!

00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,501

Give it a second.

00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,503

Maybe he's taking it out

to surrender.

00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,861

He's anti-heroic.

Run!

00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,950

I don't understand.

00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300

He's only one man!

00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,258

With the power

of a thousand crows.

00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,913

Oh, oh! Ooh!

00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,177

Good luck.

00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,702

Crows and owls

have always been at war,

00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,921

but why do you care?

00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:52,922

What's the point?

00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,316

Here's two.

00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104

Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool.

Morty?

00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975

Uh, h-hey, man!

00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,020

Good to see you!

00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,197

Y-You're, like,

looking, like,

00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,764

into crows...still.

00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,766

Oh, uh, two crows,

you remember Morty.

00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,376

Morty, two crows.

00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,812

It's good to see you,

00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,205

but if you'd given me

more of a heads up --

00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946

Well, I-I was just

in the neighborhood.

00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,382

I-It wasn't like --It's just that

the battle for crows

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is kind of never-ending.

00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,298

Huh. Right.

00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,126

A little pointless,

then, right?

00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,128

That came out wrong,

s-sounded judgy.

00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,261

-Crowhorse. Crowhorse.

-Okay.

00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,393

-Crowhorse. Crowhorse.

-Looks like...

00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,048

looks like they're

leading you to a thing.

00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,267

Take care, Morty.

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You -- You too!

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I-I'm doing good,

by the way.

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Oh, my dad was gonna eat that

yogurt you left in the fridge

00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,142

but I-I told him --

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I'm looking for...

00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320

Crow Scare.

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The scarecrow?

The evil scarecrow?

00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,195

Come on. Whoever gives him up

first lives.

00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,284

Fine, I can kill

an extra asshole.

00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,416

Helps me get my steps in.

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Ah!

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Ahhh!

00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,434

Rick!

Morty?

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Wood?!

00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,306

Aghhhh!

00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,135

Uh, Morty, why are you

now like 40?

00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571

Th-That's how long

it's been, Rick.

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Oh, uh, I guess we can have

a drink together, then.

00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,489

Do you have

a rum and Coke?

00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,577

What are you, 20?

00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,449

Oh, bless your heart.

00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,277

Time be goin' by,

don't she?

00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,017

That's your reaction

to finding out

00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,497

you wasted

your entire life?

00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,455

I feel okay.

00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,891

Well --

well, what about me?!

00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,936

Whoa.

Excuse us, boys.

00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,938

You don't wanna

be here for this.

00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,244

I thought if I gave you

enough space,

00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,290

you'd outgrow this...

phase.

00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,640

Here's your drink, poser.

00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,120

Dad got sick, you know.

Stage 4.

00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,513

You would've loved it.

00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,428

Summer's a nurse --

well, pretty much a nurse.

00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,517

She -- She married

a junkie.

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Rick, come home,

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while we still got

a little time.

00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,261

Morty, what we had

wasn't healthy.

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And this is?

00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482

Y-You've had a thousand

adventures with these crows.

00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,092

When are you gonna

kill their big bad?

00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,702

First off,

the "will they/kill they"

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is everything to my guys.

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And second, fuck you for trying

to undermine my happiness.

00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,360

This may be the last time

you ever lay eyes on me!

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I hope that's not true,

Morty,

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because you look like

s[burps]shit,

00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061

and this is not

how I wanna remember you.

00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,381

Now that I have

his two crows,

00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,297

nothing will stop me

from eliminating Crow Rick.

00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,994

Don't defend him to me.

00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779

I don't even get

what you see in him.

00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,302

You're right.

00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,436

We should be enjoying

the time we have together.

00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,785

Crow Rick!

00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308

Oh, I-I know what this

must look like, but --

00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,528

It looks like

my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,

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and my sidekicks

planning adventures together.

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You are hardly

the victim here.

00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,534

I was adventuring

with these two crows

00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,579

before you ever

came along.

00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,890

What do you mean,

"using me as a rebound?"

00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,676

You feel like I was using you

as a rebound, too?

00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,896

Well, shit,

this lost all meaning.

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I guess it could have

been worse.

00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,899

At least adventuring

was just a metaphor

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for romantic partnership,

so it's not a real break-up.

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Speak for yourself.

00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,992

We immensely enjoy

each other's bodies.

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What?!

Ugh! No!

00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,995

Sounds like the man's

asking for proof.

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Let's show him, fellas!

00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,390

-I-I asked for zero proof!

-Ahh!

00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,565

Zero proof!

00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225

I'm giving you free will.

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Yah!

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Submit to Crow Horse!

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Whoops.

00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,586

-Rick?

-Wubba lubba dub dub!

I'm back, pal!

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Morty, who's at the door?

00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,980

Wait a minute.

I thought you died gruesomely?

00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,417

W-what the hell's

going on here?

00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,809

See, uh, the --

the thing is, uh...

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Can you please

make Morty 14 again, Dad?

00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,596

This is ridiculous.

00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,554

Okay, look, I-I may have used

an aging serum

00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,730

to kind of emotionally

blackmail you a little.

00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,384

I kind of figured,

and I totally get it, Morty,

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I-I'm done

with the two crows.

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Like, they were super clingy

and I'm ready to make this work.

00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,563

Let's just hit

the reset button.

00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,565

Well, no, honey,

not a reset, okay?

00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,307

Tell your grandpa that

you're worthy of his respect

00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,222

and you want to be treated

differently from now on.

00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,397

I refuse to do that.

00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,790

I-I'm desperate

to get back together.

00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,400

-Just like his old man.

-Don't worry, honey.

00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,619

That's just Morty's

middle age talking.

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He'll be less codependent

once we get

00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665

more of his life

in front of him again.

00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,840

Uh, I'd like him

to stay 40

00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,539

so he can keep buying

my friends molly.

00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,627

I'd rather

throw my vote away

00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,542

than use it to support

a flawed system.

00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,500

Can we make our first

adventure fixing this?

00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,284

I keep thinking about

-lawn care.

-Okay, buddy.

00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677

Who sold you

this shitty aging serum?

00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331

-What did he look like?

-Just like you.

00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,202

I-I got it

-from the Citadel.

-Hot damn.

00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,291

Hittin' the ground running

with a Citadel episode.

00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,902

See ya later,

masturbators.

00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,692

Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot,

Andy,

00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:29,998

because this place

wouldn't be home

00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,261

without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.

00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523

Dumb.

00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,655

Ooh, what happened to

this place?

00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,526

There's

a Morty president now.

00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,572

Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt.

They made it nicer.

00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,790

They made it Glendale.

00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,139

God damn,

you are cantankerous.

00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,445

Even pooping hurts now.

00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,665

Yeah, well, this place

is gonna fix you right up.

00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,580

Okay, so, we've got

a standard Morty

00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,538

that's been aged to...40?

00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,713

Can you reverse it?

00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323

Well, if you look at it

like a bone,

00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,934

what we can do is

break his age in two places,

00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,153

remove the middle, and graft

its ends back together.

00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,851

Th-that sounds

really violent.

00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,592

It's not a literal bone,

Morty.

00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,897

Oh, okay.

00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,072

Ah, brace yourself,

the process does also

00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,509

break every bone

in your body.

00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,033

Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!

00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,991

-I like crayons.

-Girls are gross.

00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:12,519

I-I think I feel

like myself again.

00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,607

Uh, you look

a little weird.

00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,347

Your skin's all pink

like a baby mouse.

00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,827

-I-Is that normal?

-Probably.

00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568

Uh, sign here

for storage or disposal

00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,656

of the 26 years

we removed.

00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,049

Wait, what?

00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485

I ain't payin'

to store 26 years.

00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,486

Well, then you're taking it

with you.

00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,272

I'm almost ready

to sell out.

00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,491

Alright,

what's disposal cost?

00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,103

-Oh!

-S-something unfair's

happening.

00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,714

There's no escape.

No escape!

00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,716

Let me help you!

This is not a good look.

00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,891

Oh!

00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,719

Oh, boy.

Hey!

They -- they shot me!

00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,503

You are seriously hurting

the Citadel experience.

00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,852

-Listen to me!

-Drop the gun!

00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,288

Death is coming

for us all,

00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,681

and the Citadel is

a weapon of mass des--

00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337

Woof. You're about to get

suspended with pay.

00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,600

Come on, Morty, let's get outta

here before this gets political.

00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,298

Oh! Was I...

influential?

00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,996

Yeah, y-you were

influential.

00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,520

Y-You had like seven --

seven blogs.

00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,566

Tight. Oh.

00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,393

Ugh. Too late.

00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,699

Rick C-137,

00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,745

President Morty requests

you join him for dinner.

00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,355

Whoa! S-Seriously?

00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,530

You know I destroyed

this place.

00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,314

You've been pardoned

for that, sir.

00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,968

Rick! Let's have dinner

with the Morty President.

00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796

Morty, the idea was to get back

to simple adventures.

00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,406

The Citadel runs

on canon.

00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,670

Okay. I guess things really are

just going right back

00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,714

to how they were.

00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,455

Fine. I could eat.

00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,544

But the second he reveals

he's evil, we're gone.

00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,202

I dunno. It tastes...

pretty good.

00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,030

Okay, let me know

if you start feeling poisony.

00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,597

Good to have you back,

buddy.

00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555

Mmm!

00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,731

Sorry I'm late.

Never really ends around here.

00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,167

Look at this, Morty.

00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,647

They really did make a you

the president.

00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779

And I hate 'em

every day for it.

00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,042

But wow!

Rick C-137.

00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,435

Now, that's a guy to move

your schedule around for.

00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,437

Not -- Not here to blow

the place up again, I hope.

00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483

Ha! Not unless you try

to keep me here.

00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,832

Ha-ha, geez.

Wouldn't dream of it.

00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399

But it's amazing

you dropped by

00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,357

because I was eventually

gonna hunt you down.

00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142

There's the reveal.

Let's dance.

00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,796

-Ha! Geez.

-Rick, come on, man.

00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,928

The guy got elected president

by Ricks and Mortys.

00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,017

-He's being really nice.

-All politicians are nice.

00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,628

He's a hot bag of peanuts,

isn't he?

00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,281

We've been through

a lot.

00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,240

A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.

00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,372

Right, no drama.

Keep it episodic.

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,678

Ricks never look back.

00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,462

Waste of a legend

in his case.

00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,421

You know he practically

-built this place?

-Wait, what?

00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,641

And now you're running

it squeaky clean, right?

00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:15,598

That's why you got

deformed Mortys

00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,817

coming up

through the sewer lines

00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,688

talking about

hope and change?

00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,647

-Fair enough.

-Good clapback, Rick.

00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,778

What's the deal with that,

Mister P?

00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432

I got a little project

going on.

00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,738

Required some

hands-on labor.

00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,609

It would require less

if you were willing

00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,784

to tell me how one might

00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,656

bring down

the Central Finite Curve.

00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,048

Alright,

time to go, Morty.

00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,267

I want to know

what he's talking about.

00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,529

Yeah, you've come

all this way.

00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,835

Can you give me

10 more seconds?

00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,706

Literally 10?

Because now it would be 6.

00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:37,838

Oh, I'm fine with that.

00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491

Make it 2.

00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,232

One.

00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,843

Like I said, would have been

a big help for you to tell me,

00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,975

but I should have everything

I need from you now.

00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,629

Let me just make sure.

00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762

You can't scan an entire brain

over appetizers.

00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,330

Oh, most of yours got scanned

a long time ago.

00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,636

You probably

don't remember.

00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899

Check out season 1,

episode 9, Rick Heads.

00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,901

Excel[burps]sior!

00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,686

-Evil Rick.

-We kicked his ass!

00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,209

"Evil Rick."

I love it.

00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,689

Smartest man

in the universe,

00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,343

with an ego so big you can

just grab it like a joystick.

00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,997

Looks complete.

00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,433

I was afraid I'd have to

kill every Rick

00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,739

on the Citadel

to get what I needed.

00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,785

You asshole!

I vouched for you!

00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787

He only came here

because I asked him to.

00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,918

I'm sorry, Rick.

00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,441

That apology and a screwdriver

in my hand

00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,660

would be worth

a screwdriver.

00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,314

You sellout Mortys kill me.

00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881

I'd hate you more than

the Ricks you worship

00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,099

if there was any point.

00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,492

But you can't help it.

00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,667

You were bred for it.

00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,147

Wanna see?

00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,847

You already know Rogue Ricks

used Mortys

00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,241

to hide themselves

from the Citadel.

00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,721

But you might not know

it worked so well

00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,331

that the Citadel

became its own

00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,811

Morty Market.

00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,682

And I'm sure you don't know

how far they've gone

00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,684

to help supply meet demand.

00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,338

Sure, Ricks could

scour infinity

00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,861

for naturally occurring

grandsons.

00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,254

But why bother?

00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,777

So much work.

00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,910

Such an admission of need.

00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,521

There aren't infinite versions

of our grandfather, Morty.

00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,132

He's an infinite smear

of one shitty old man.

00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,960

And he's attached to us

infinitely

00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,746

through his weakness

and our forgiveness.

00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,964

Oh! Oh!

00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,574

This is why

we're with him.

00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,185

This is why we're alive.

00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,799

What the fuck?

00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:10,931

Rick,

say this isn't true.

00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,715

-It isn't the whole truth.

Liar!

00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,891

-It's complicated!

-I'm not busy.

00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,719

Okay, Morty, remember when

I said all I need

00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,765

was your apology

and a screwdriver in my hand?

00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,376

Well, I forgot I literally

have a screwdriver in my hand.

00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,813

I mean, duh-doy.

I'm basically Inspector Gadget.

00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:24,814

Uh-oh.

00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,600

It's okay.

He's free to go.

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,908

He's the Rickest Rick.

We'll never see him again.

00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,433

Morty, when you came here

for that serum,

00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913

did you refill this gun?

00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,219

Yeah.

00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:41,004

Oh. Ooh!

Holy shit!

00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,441

I only know one man that ever

hacked my portal gun,

00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,313

and it turned out

it was evil you.

00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,445

Yay!

He's all caught up.

00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,405

Wait. Hold it.

Hold it.

00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,018

-Who -- Who's that?

-Time for Big Boy. Duck!

00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,673

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892

Does he like it?

00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,154

It's a metaphor

for capitalism, Morty.

00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,982

What do you think?

00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,114

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhhh!

00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,333

Ohh! Ohhhhhh!

00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,817

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,039

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,911

Ohhhhhh!

00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,478

Yoink!

00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,177

You can't outrun your past,

Rick.

00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,832

Did you think my force field

would be down the second time?

00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,269

I was expressing disapproval

of your dialogue.

00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,184

Disapprove all you want.

00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230

Tonight, the quality of dialogue

stops mattering.

00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,016

Tonight, I do that thing

I want to do

00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,669

with the curve thing.

00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:45,155

Nobody leave.

Everybody stay.

00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,944

Aaaaaaah!

00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,817

Nobody leave.

Everybody stay.

00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,514

In uncertain times like these,

00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,603

I think it's important for me

to say, eat shit, fuck you.

00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,257

The drug companies paid for me

to say every word.

00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,693

I have millions of dollars,

00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,260

and I don't care if you live --

oh, God!

00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,436

Oh, fuck! No! Aah!

00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,395

And I'd just like to say that

prescription drugs are great,

00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,614

and you should buy them now.

00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,094

What's happening, Rick?

00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,443

He hacked the entire city's

portal supply.

00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,402

Come on, there still might be

one way out of here --

00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,533

out the bottom.

00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,411

What do you think he needed

from your brain?

00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,109

I assume schematics for the

Citadel's dimensional drive.

00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,502

If he's gonna use it

to blow the curve,

00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,938

we do not want to be here.

00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:29,852

What is

the Central Finite Curve?

00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,680

Q&A after our survival.

00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,987

Hopefully we can snag some

untainted fluid at the source

00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,467

and get the fuck

out of here.

00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,034

Or not.

00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,909

Wow. I thought my capitalism

metaphor was on the nose.

00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,954

Ow! Oh!

00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,521

So did you help build

the Citadel?

00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,870

Do you just lie to me

about everything?

00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,741

Can't we just sneak

through the cave base?

00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,918

We turned a new leaf, Morty.

We're back to simple adventures.

00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,963

It's not a new leaf

until you tell me everything.

00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573

Morty, we really don't

have time for this.

00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,445

The whole place

-is gonna blow.

-No, I-I don't trust you.

00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,142

I-I don't want to

do this anymore

00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,578

if I'm not gonna get

straight answers from you.

00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,102

God damn it!

00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,016

Here's my fucking

downloaded brain, Morty.

00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,669

You want to

jump the shark?

00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,106

You want to know my stupid

crybaby backstory?

00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,586

Knock yourself out.

Not -- not now!

00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,076

-Boo ya, Rick.

-Nice one, Morty!

00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,601

Whoa. Dead wife?

00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,472

Yes, now everyone

can shut up about it.

00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,910

Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better

having seen all that.

00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,173

Of course that's the case.

00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,263

In their minds,

they're the underdogs.

00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,482

And that's how

they justify this.

00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,051

Morty,

I'm not responsible

00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,226

for every fucked-up Rick

out there.

00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,488

They literally all

say that.

00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,750

They all have that excuse.

00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,143

It's part of their system.

00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,275

None of them have to be

responsible.

00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,103

They're all victims

of themselves.

00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,844

Oh, it's so hard to be a genius.

Couldn't you just die?

00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:00,932

Well, what are you

doing about it?

00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499

Jack shit.

I'm leaving.

00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,501

Do you know what

the Central Finite Curve is?

00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,199

They built a wall

around infinity.

00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,201

They separated all

the infinite universes

00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,637

from all

the infinite universes

00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,639

where he's the smartest man

in the universe.

00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,119

Every version of us

has spent every version

00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,295

of all of our lives

in one infinite crib

00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,080

built around

an infinite fucking baby.

00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,125

And I'm leaving it.

00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,561

That's what makes me evil --

00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,128

being sick of him.

00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,782

If you've ever been sick of him,

you've been evil, too.

00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,438

Rick, did you really leave

the crows for me?

00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,007

Or did you come back

because they dumped you?

00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,228

There you go, kid.

Now you're Evil Morty, too.

00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,925

Sooner or later

we all are,

00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,796

on this side

of the curve.

00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,807

-Ah!

-Ah!

00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,595

Don't worry, Morty.

We still got a way out

00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,510

they never thought of --

Operation Phoenix.

00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,120

Doesn't that still mean,

like, death?

00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730

Sure, but the joke's

on them,

00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,384

'cause we just found a backdoor

to getting off this rock.

00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,475

REROUTED.

REROUTED.

00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,217

Rerouted.

Rerouted. Rerouted.

00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,743

Rerouted. Rerouted.

Rerouted.

00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,704

Oh, my fucking God!

00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,401

Come on, Morty.

We gotta go.

00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,275

You can come if you want.

00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,972

Don't blame me

if you don't.

00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,974

Ugh! From where I sit,

Morty,

00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,193

that's the best deal

on the table.

00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:31,022

I-I don't have

a real plan.

00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,984

Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad

you ignored my advice.

00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,855

It's just as well.

I lied.

00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,379

That second seat's

a toilet.

00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163

Oh.

Super dick move.

00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,817

But weirdly kind of cool

to admit it.

00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,601

Geez, you guys really are

bred for forgiveness.

00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,429

Let's go.

00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,968

Say goodbye to the Citadel,

fellas.

00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,737

Ooowee! Evil Morty.

00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,522

That was quite a scheme.

00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:05,002

Makes me wonder if there's

an evil me out there.

00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:07,353

But I guess sometimes

I look at my life,

00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,225

and I may not even need him,

'cause, well,

00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,706

guess I've made a pretty big

mess of things myself.

00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,185

Ooowee.

00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,318

Never got my job

at the university back.

00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,755

Remember that?

Rick made me do karate.

00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,409

It -- It was kinda funny.

00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,368

But I guess things

went downhill from there.

00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,761

Started isolating myself

from Amy.

00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:27,155

Used to tell her

everything I was feeling,

00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,722

but then I guess I stopped,

00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,202

'cause I wanted her to love

who she thought I was,

00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,553

not who I felt myself becoming.

00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:35,946

Ever think about how horrified

the people we love would be

00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,992

if they found out

who we truly are?

00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:41,996

So we just dig ourselves deeper

into our lies every day,

00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,478

ultimately hurting the only

people brave enough to love us.

00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,175

Wish I didn't do that.

00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:49,438

Wish I was brave enough

to love them back.

00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,006

I don't know.

Maybe you should try it.

00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,182

We don't have as much time

as we think.

00:21:54,225 --> 00:21:55,531

Ooowee.

00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,404

Did you get any of that?

00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:12,969

Oh! Oh! Ah!

00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,318

[ Crow cawing ]

00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,017

It's the crow man!

00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,020

[ Belches ]

00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,501

Give it a second.

00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,503

Maybe he's taking it out

to surrender.

00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,636

[ Whooshing ]

00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,420

[ Sword clangs ]

00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:34,164

♪

00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,861

He's anti-heroic.

Run!

00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,950

[ Feet pattering ]

I don't understand.

00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300

He's only one man!

00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,258

With the power

of a thousand crows.

00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:42,433

[ Crows cawing ]

00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,913

Oh, oh! Ooh!

00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,177

[ Strained ]

Good luck.

00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,702

Crows and owls

have always been at war,

00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,921

but why do you care?

00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:52,922

What's the point?

00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,316

Here's two.

00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,273

[ Grunts ]

00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,580

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104

Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool.

Morty?

00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975

Uh, h-hey, man!

00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,020

Good to see you!

00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,282

[ Crows cawing ]

00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,197

Y-You're, like,

looking, like,

00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,764

into crows...still.

00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,766

Oh, uh, two crows,

you remember Morty.

00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,376

Morty, two crows.[ Crows caw ]

00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,812

It's good to see you,

00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,205

but if you'd given me

more of a heads up --

00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946

Well, I-I was just

in the neighborhood.

00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,382

I-It wasn't like --It's just that

the battle for crows

00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,341

is kind of never-ending.

00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,298

Huh. Right.

00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,126

A little pointless,

then, right?

00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,128

That came out wrong,

s-sounded judgy.

00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,261

-Crowhorse. Crowhorse.

-Okay.

00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,393

-Crowhorse. Crowhorse.

-Looks like...

00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,048

looks like they're

leading you to a thing.

00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,267

Take care, Morty.

00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,398

You -- You too!

00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,183

I-I'm doing good,

by the way.

00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,402

Oh, my dad was gonna eat that

yogurt you left in the fridge

00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,142

but I-I told him --

00:01:39,186 --> 00:02:06,300

♪

00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,433

[ Insects chirping ]

00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:13,307

♪

00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,265

[ Rick belches ]

00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:18,225

♪

00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,965

[ Indistinct talking ]

00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,054

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,187

[ Clears throat ]

I'm looking for...

00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320

Crow Scare.

00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,974

The scarecrow?

The evil scarecrow?

00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,195

Come on. Whoever gives him up

first lives.

00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,284

Fine, I can kill

an extra asshole.

00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,416

Helps me get my steps in.

00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,853

[ Whooshing ]

00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,425

♪

00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,470

Ah!

00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,124

[ Clanging ]

00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,430

Ahhh!

00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,434

Rick!

Morty?

00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,652

Wood?!

00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,306

Aghhhh!

00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,135

Uh, Morty, why are you

now like 40?

00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571

Th-That's how long

it's been, Rick.

00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,226

Oh, uh, I guess we can have

a drink together, then.

00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,489

Do you have

a rum and Coke?

00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,577

What are you, 20?

00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,449

[ Chuckling ]

Oh, bless your heart.

00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,277

Time be goin' by,

don't she?

00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,017

That's your reaction

to finding out

00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,497

you wasted

your entire life?

00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,455

I feel okay.

00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,891

Well --

well, what about me?!

00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,936

Whoa.

Excuse us, boys.

00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,938

You don't wanna

be here for this.[ Crows cawing ]

00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,244

I thought if I gave you

enough space,

00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,290

you'd outgrow this...

phase.

00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,640

Here's your drink, poser.

00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,120

Dad got sick, you know.

Stage 4.

00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,513

You would've loved it.

00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,428

Summer's a nurse --

well, pretty much a nurse.

00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,517

She -- She married

a junkie.

00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,476

Rick, come home,

00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,694

while we still got

a little time.

00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,261

Morty, what we had

wasn't healthy.

00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,089

And this is?

00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482

Y-You've had a thousand

adventures with these crows.

00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,092

When are you gonna

kill their big bad?

00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,702

First off,

the "will they/kill they"

00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,530

is everything to my guys.

00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,358

And second, fuck you for trying

to undermine my happiness.

00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,360

This may be the last time

you ever lay eyes on me!

00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,970

I hope that's not true,

Morty,

00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,711

because you look like

s[burps]shit,

00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061

and this is not

how I wanna remember you.

00:03:56,105 --> 00:04:09,379

♪

00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,381

Crow Scare: Now that I have

his two crows,

00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,297

nothing will stop me

from eliminating Crow Rick.

00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,994

[ Crows cawing ]

Don't defend him to me.

00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779

I don't even get

what you see in him.

00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,302

[ Crows cawing ]

You're right.

00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,436

We should be enjoying

the time we have together.

00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,785

Crow Rick!

00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308

Oh, I-I know what this

must look like, but --

00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,528

It looks like

my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,

00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,791

and my sidekicks

planning adventures together.

00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,445

You are hardly

the victim here.

00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,534

I was adventuring

with these two crows

00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,579

before you ever

came along.

00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,018

[ Crows cawing ]

00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,890

What do you mean,

"using me as a rebound?"

00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,544

[ Cawing ]

00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,676

You feel like I was using you

as a rebound, too?

00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,896

Well, shit,

this lost all meaning.

00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,332

I guess it could have

been worse.

00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,899

At least adventuring

was just a metaphor

00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,118

for romantic partnership,

so it's not a real break-up.

00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,598

Speak for yourself.

00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,992

We immensely enjoy

each other's bodies.

00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,602

What?!

Ugh! No!

00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,995

Sounds like the man's

asking for proof.

00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,692

Let's show him, fellas!

00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,390

-I-I asked for zero proof!

-Ahh!

00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,565

Zero proof!

00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,349

[ Whoosh! ]

00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,613

[ Metal clanging ]

00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225

I'm giving you free will.

00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,619

Yah!

00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447

Crow Horse:

Submit to Crow Horse!

00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,406

[ People screaming ]

00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,408

Whoops.

00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,931

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,586

-Rick?

-Wubba lubba dub dub!

I'm back, pal!

00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,283

Jerry:

Morty, who's at the door?

00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,980

Wait a minute.

I thought you died gruesomely?

00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,417

W-what the hell's

going on here?

00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,809

See, uh, the --

the thing is, uh...

00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,942

Can you please

make Morty 14 again, Dad?

00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,596

This is ridiculous.

00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,554

Okay, look, I-I may have used

an aging serum

00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,730

to kind of emotionally

blackmail you a little.

00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,384

I kind of figured,

and I totally get it, Morty,

00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,255

I-I'm done

with the two crows.

00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,432

Like, they were super clingy

and I'm ready to make this work.

00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,563

Let's just hit

the reset button.

00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,565

Well, no, honey,

not a reset, okay?

00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,307

Tell your grandpa that

you're worthy of his respect

00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,222

and you want to be treated

differently from now on.

00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,397

I refuse to do that.

00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,790

I-I'm desperate

to get back together.

00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,400

-Just like his old man.

-Don't worry, honey.

00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,619

That's just Morty's

middle age talking.

00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,098

He'll be less codependent

once we get

00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665

more of his life

in front of him again.

00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,840

Uh, I'd like him

to stay 40

00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,539

so he can keep buying

my friends molly.

00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,627

I'd rather

throw my vote away

00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,542

than use it to support

a flawed system.

00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,500

Can we make our first

adventure fixing this?

00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,284

I keep thinking about

-lawn care.

-Okay, buddy.

00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677

Who sold you

this shitty aging serum?

00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331

-What did he look like?

-Just like you.

00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,202

I-I got it

-from the Citadel.

-Hot damn.

00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,291

Hittin' the ground running

with a Citadel episode.

00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,902

See ya later,

masturbators.

00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:26,429

[ Muzak playing ]

00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,692

Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot,

Andy,

00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:29,998

because this place

wouldn't be home

00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,261

without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.

00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523

Dumb.

00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,655

Ooh, what happened to

this place?

00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,526

There's

a Morty president now.

00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,572

Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt.

They made it nicer.

00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,790

They made it Glendale.

00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,139

God damn,

you are cantankerous.

00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,445

Even pooping hurts now.

00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,665

Yeah, well, this place

is gonna fix you right up.

00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,580

Okay, so, we've got

a standard Morty

00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,538

that's been aged to...40?

00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,713

Can you reverse it?

00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323

Well, if you look at it

like a bone,

00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,934

what we can do is

break his age in two places,

00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,153

remove the middle, and graft

its ends back together.

00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,851

Th-that sounds

really violent.

00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,592

It's not a literal bone,

Morty.

00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,897

Oh, okay.

00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,072

Ah, brace yourself,

the process does also

00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,509

break every bone

in your body.

00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,033

Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!

00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,991

-I like crayons.

-Girls are gross.

00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:12,519

I-I think I feel

like myself again.

00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,607

Uh, you look

a little weird.

00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,347

Your skin's all pink

like a baby mouse.

00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,827

-I-Is that normal?

-Probably.

00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568

Uh, sign here

for storage or disposal

00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,656

of the 26 years

we removed.

00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,049

Wait, what?

00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485

I ain't payin'

to store 26 years.

00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,486

Well, then you're taking it

with you.

00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,270

[ Rumbling ]

00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,272

I'm almost ready

to sell out.

00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,491

Alright,

what's disposal cost?

00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,275

[ Rumbling and punching ]

00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,103

-Oh!

-S-something unfair's

happening.

00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,714

There's no escape.

No escape!

00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,716

Let me help you!

This is not a good look.

00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,891

Oh!

[ Gunshot ]

00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,719

Oh, boy.

Hey!

They -- they shot me!

00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,503

You are seriously hurting

the Citadel experience.

00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,852

-Listen to me!

-Drop the gun!

00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,288

Death is coming

for us all,

00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,681

and the Citadel is

a weapon of mass des--

00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,378

[ Gunshot ]

00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337

Woof. You're about to get

suspended with pay.

00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,600

Come on, Morty, let's get outta

here before this gets political.

00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,298

Oh! Was I...

influential?

00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,996

Yeah, y-you were

influential.

00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,520

Y-You had like seven --

seven blogs.

00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,566

Tight. Oh.

00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,393

Ugh. Too late.

00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,699

Rick C-137,

00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,745

President Morty requests

you join him for dinner.

00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,355

Whoa! S-Seriously?

00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,530

You know I destroyed

this place.

00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,314

You've been pardoned

for that, sir.

00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,968

Rick! Let's have dinner

with the Morty President.

00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796

Morty, the idea was to get back

to simple adventures.

00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,406

The Citadel runs

on canon.

00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,670

Okay. I guess things really are

just going right back

00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,714

to how they were.

00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,455

Fine. I could eat.

00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,544

But the second he reveals

he's evil, we're gone.

00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:25,113

[ Ominous music playing ]

00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,202

I dunno. It tastes...

pretty good.

00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,030

Okay, let me know

if you start feeling poisony.

00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,597

Good to have you back,

buddy.

00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555

Mmm!

00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,731

Sorry I'm late.

Never really ends around here.

00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,167

Look at this, Morty.

00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,647

They really did make a you

the president.

00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779

And I hate 'em

every day for it.

00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,042

But wow!

Rick C-137.

00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,435

Now, that's a guy to move

your schedule around for.

00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,437

Not -- Not here to blow

the place up again, I hope.

00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483

[ Chuckles ]

Ha! Not unless you try

to keep me here.

00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,832

Ha-ha, geez.

Wouldn't dream of it.

00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399

But it's amazing

you dropped by

00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,357

because I was eventually

gonna hunt you down.

00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142

There's the reveal.

Let's dance.

00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,796

-Ha! Geez.

-Rick, come on, man.

00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,928

The guy got elected president

by Ricks and Mortys.

00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,017

-He's being really nice.

-All politicians are nice.

00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,628

He's a hot bag of peanuts,

isn't he?

00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,281

We've been through

a lot.

00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,240

A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.

00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,372

Right, no drama.

Keep it episodic.

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,678

Ricks never look back.

00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,462

Waste of a legend

in his case.

00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,421

You know he practically

-built this place?

-Wait, what?

00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,641

And now you're running

it squeaky clean, right?

00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:15,598

That's why you got

deformed Mortys

00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,817

coming up

through the sewer lines

00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,688

talking about

hope and change?

00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,647

-Fair enough.

-Good clapback, Rick.

00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,778

What's the deal with that,

Mister P?

00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432

I got a little project

going on.

00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,738

Required some

hands-on labor.

00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,609

It would require less

if you were willing

00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,784

to tell me how one might

00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,656

bring down

the Central Finite Curve.

00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,048

Alright,

time to go, Morty.

00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,267

I want to know

what he's talking about.

00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,529

Yeah, you've come

all this way.

00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,835

Can you give me

10 more seconds?

00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,706

Literally 10?

Because now it would be 6.

00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:37,838

Oh, I'm fine with that.

00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491

Make it 2.

00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,232

One.[ Ding! ]

00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,843

Like I said, would have been

a big help for you to tell me,

00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,975

but I should have everything

I need from you now.

00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,629

Let me just make sure.

00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762

You can't scan an entire brain

over appetizers.

00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,330

Oh, most of yours got scanned

a long time ago.

00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,636

You probably

don't remember.

00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899

Check out season 1,

episode 9, Rick Heads.

00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,901

Excel[burps]sior!

00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,686

-Evil Rick.

-We kicked his ass!

00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,209

"Evil Rick."

I love it.

00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,689

Smartest man

in the universe,

00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,343

with an ego so big you can

just grab it like a joystick.

00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,997

[ Whirring ]

Looks complete.

00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,433

I was afraid I'd have to

kill every Rick

00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,739

on the Citadel

to get what I needed.

00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,785

You asshole!

I vouched for you!

00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787

He only came here

because I asked him to.

00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,918

I'm sorry, Rick.

00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,441

That apology and a screwdriver

in my hand

00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,660

would be worth

a screwdriver.

00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,314

You sellout Mortys kill me.

00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881

I'd hate you more than

the Ricks you worship

00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,099

if there was any point.

00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,492

But you can't help it.

00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,667

You were bred for it.

00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,147

Wanna see?

00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:29,106

[ Whirring ]

00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,847

You already know Rogue Ricks

used Mortys

00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,241

to hide themselves

from the Citadel.

00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,721

But you might not know

it worked so well

00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,331

that the Citadel

became its own

00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,811

Morty Market.

00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,682

And I'm sure you don't know

how far they've gone

00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,684

to help supply meet demand.

00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,338

Sure, Ricks could

scour infinity

00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,861

for naturally occurring

grandsons.

00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,254

But why bother?

00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,777

So much work.

00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,910

Such an admission of need.

00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,521

There aren't infinite versions

of our grandfather, Morty.

00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,132

He's an infinite smear

of one shitty old man.

00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,960

And he's attached to us

infinitely

00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,746

through his weakness

and our forgiveness.

00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,964

Oh! Oh!

00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,574

This is why

we're with him.

00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,185

This is why we're alive.

00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,799

What the fuck?

00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:10,931

Rick,

say this isn't true.

00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,715

-It isn't the whole truth.

-Both: Liar!

00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,891

-It's complicated!

-I'm not busy.

00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,719

Okay, Morty, remember when

I said all I need

00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,765

was your apology

and a screwdriver in my hand?

00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,376

Well, I forgot I literally

have a screwdriver in my hand.

00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,813

I mean, duh-doy.

I'm basically Inspector Gadget.

00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:24,814

Uh-oh.

00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,600

It's okay.

He's free to go.

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,908

He's the Rickest Rick.

We'll never see him again.

00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,433

Morty, when you came here

for that serum,

00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913

did you refill this gun?

00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,219

Yeah.

00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:41,004

Oh. Ooh!

Holy shit!

00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,441

I only know one man that ever

hacked my portal gun,

00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,313

and it turned out

it was evil you.

00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,445

Yay!

He's all caught up.

00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,405

Wait. Hold it.

Hold it.

00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,018

-Who -- Who's that?

-Time for Big Boy. Duck!

00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,673

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892

Does he like it?

00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,154

It's a metaphor

for capitalism, Morty.

00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,982

What do you think?

00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,114

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhhh!

00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,333

Ohh! Ohhhhhh!

00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,814

[ Grunting ]

00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,817

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,079

[ Grunts ]

00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,039

Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!

Ohhhhh!

00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,911

Ohhhhhh!

00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,478

Rick: Yoink!

00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,177

You can't outrun your past,

Rick.

00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,832

Did you think my force field

would be down the second time?

00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,269

I was expressing disapproval

of your dialogue.

00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,184

[ Chuckles ]

Disapprove all you want.

00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230

Tonight, the quality of dialogue

stops mattering.

00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,016

Tonight, I do that thing

I want to do

00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,669

with the curve thing.

00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,893

Loudspeaker: Nobody leave.

Everybody stay.

00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,155

Nobody leave.

Everybody stay.

00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,942

[ Mortys screaming ]

00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,944

Aaaaaaah!

00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,597

[ Gunfire ]

00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,817

Nobody leave.

Everybody stay.

00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,514

In uncertain times like these,

00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,603

I think it's important for me

to say, eat shit, fuck you.

00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,257

The drug companies paid for me

to say every word.

00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,693

I have millions of dollars,

00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,260

and I don't care if you live --

oh, God!

00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,436

Oh, fuck! No! Aah!

00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,395

And I'd just like to say that

prescription drugs are great,

00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,614

and you should buy them now.

00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,094

Morty:

What's happening, Rick?

00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,443

He hacked the entire city's

portal supply.

00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,402

Come on, there still might be

one way out of here --

00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,533

out the bottom.

00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:21,713

♪

00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,411

What do you think he needed

from your brain?

00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,109

I assume schematics for the

Citadel's dimensional drive.

00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,502

If he's gonna use it

to blow the curve,

00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,938

we do not want to be here.

00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:29,852

What is

the Central Finite Curve?

00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,680

Q&A after our survival.

00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,987

Hopefully we can snag some

untainted fluid at the source

00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,467

and get the fuck

out of here.

00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,034

Or not.

00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,909

Wow. I thought my capitalism

metaphor was on the nose.

00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,954

Ow! Oh!

00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,521

So did you help build

the Citadel?

00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,870

Do you just lie to me

about everything?

00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,741

Can't we just sneak

through the cave base?

00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,918

We turned a new leaf, Morty.

We're back to simple adventures.

00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,963

It's not a new leaf

until you tell me everything.

00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573

Morty, we really don't

have time for this.

00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,445

The whole place

-is gonna blow.

-No, I-I don't trust you.

00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,142

I-I don't want to

do this anymore

00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,578

if I'm not gonna get

straight answers from you.

00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,102

God damn it!

00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,016

Here's my fucking

downloaded brain, Morty.

00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,669

You want to

jump the shark?

00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,106

You want to know my stupid

crybaby backstory?

00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,586

Knock yourself out.

Not -- not now!

00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:15,550

♪

00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,552

[ Explosion ]

00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:41,184

♪

00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,751

[ Explosion ]

00:14:42,794 --> 00:15:58,174

♪

00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,394

[ Whirring ]

00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:20,066

♪

00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,198

[ Laughing ]

00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,419

♪

00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:28,291

[ Laughter ]

00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,076

-Boo ya, Rick.

-Nice one, Morty!

00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,601

Whoa. Dead wife?

00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,472

Yes, now everyone

can shut up about it.

00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,910

Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better

having seen all that.

00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,173

[ Chuckles ]

Of course that's the case.

00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,263

In their minds,

they're the underdogs.

00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,482

And that's how

they justify this.

00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,745

[ Whirring ]

00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,051

Rick: Morty,

I'm not responsible

00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,226

for every fucked-up Rick

out there.

00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,488

They literally all

say that.

00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,750

They all have that excuse.

00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,143

It's part of their system.

00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,275

None of them have to be

responsible.

00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,103

They're all victims

of themselves.

00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,844

Oh, it's so hard to be a genius.

Couldn't you just die?

00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:00,932

Well, what are you

doing about it?

00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499

Jack shit.

I'm leaving.

00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,501

Do you know what

the Central Finite Curve is?

00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,199

They built a wall

around infinity.

00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,201

They separated all

the infinite universes

00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,637

from all

the infinite universes

00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,639

where he's the smartest man

in the universe.

00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,119

Every version of us

has spent every version

00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,295

of all of our lives

in one infinite crib

00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,080

built around

an infinite fucking baby.

00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,125

And I'm leaving it.

00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,561

That's what makes me evil --

00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,128

being sick of him.

00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,782

If you've ever been sick of him,

you've been evil, too.

00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,438

Rick, did you really leave

the crows for me?

00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,007

Or did you come back

because they dumped you?

00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,228

There you go, kid.

Now you're Evil Morty, too.

00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,925

Sooner or later

we all are,

00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,796

on this side

of the curve.

00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,364

[ Whirring ]

00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:47,936

♪

00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,807

-Ah!

-Ah!

00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:53,115

♪

00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,595

Don't worry, Morty.

We still got a way out

00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,510

they never thought of --

Operation Phoenix.

00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,120

Doesn't that still mean,

like, death?

00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730

Sure, but the joke's

on them,

00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,384

'cause we just found a backdoor

to getting off this rock.

00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,734

[ Gunshot ]

00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,475

REROUTED.

REROUTED.

00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,217

A.I.: Rerouted.

Rerouted. Rerouted.

00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,697

[ All screaming ]

00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,743

Rerouted. Rerouted.

Rerouted.

00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:15,398

[ Explosion ]

00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,704

Oh, my fucking God!

00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,401

Come on, Morty.

We gotta go.

00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,275

Evil Morty:

You can come if you want.

00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,972

Don't blame me

if you don't.

00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,974

Ugh! From where I sit,

Morty,

00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,193

that's the best deal

on the table.

00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:31,022

I-I don't have

a real plan.

00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,634

[ Grunts ]

00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,984

Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad

you ignored my advice.

00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,855

It's just as well.

I lied.

00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,379

That second seat's

a toilet.

00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163

Oh.

Super dick move.

00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,817

But weirdly kind of cool

to admit it.

00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,601

Geez, you guys really are

bred for forgiveness.

00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,429

Let's go.

00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,431

♪

00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,520

[ All exclaiming ]

00:18:50,564 --> 00:19:01,227

♪

00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,968

Say goodbye to the Citadel,

fellas.

00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,188

[ Rumbling ]

00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:25,338

♪

00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,209

[ Rocket fires ]

00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:42,616

♪

00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,880

[ Both screaming ]

00:19:45,923 --> 00:20:14,125

♪

00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,650

[ Sighs ]

00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:22,090

♪

00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,486

[ Slurping and zapping ]

00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:58,431

♪

00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,737

Ooowee! Evil Morty.

00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,522

That was quite a scheme.

00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:05,002

Makes me wonder if there's

an evil me out there.

00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:07,353

But I guess sometimes

I look at my life,

00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,225

and I may not even need him,

'cause, well,

00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,706

guess I've made a pretty big

mess of things myself.

00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,185

Ooowee.

00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,318

Never got my job

at the university back.

00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,755

Remember that?

Rick made me do karate.

00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,409

It -- It was kinda funny.

00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,368

But I guess things

went downhill from there.

00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,761

Started isolating myself

from Amy.

00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:27,155

Used to tell her

everything I was feeling,

00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,722

but then I guess I stopped,

00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,202

'cause I wanted her to love

who she thought I was,

00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,553

not who I felt myself becoming.

00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:35,946

Ever think about how horrified

the people we love would be

00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,992

if they found out

who we truly are?

00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:41,996

So we just dig ourselves deeper

into our lies every day,

00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,478

ultimately hurting the only

people brave enough to love us.

00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,175

Wish I didn't do that.

00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:49,438

Wish I was brave enough

to love them back.

00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,006

I don't know.

Maybe you should try it.

00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,182

We don't have as much time

as we think.

00:21:54,225 --> 00:21:55,531

Ooowee.

00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,404

Man:

Did you get any of that?

00:00:14,045 --> 00:00:15,680

Это человек-ворон!

00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:24,948

Подождите. Вдруг он достал его,

чтобы сдаться.

00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,183

Это анти-герой! Бежим!

00:00:36,285 --> 00:00:37,943

Я не понимаю.

00:00:38,034 --> 00:00:39,349

Он же всего один человек.

00:00:39,429 --> 00:00:41,280

С силой тысячи воронов.

00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:46,960

Удачи.

00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,790

Вороны и совы воевали постоянно,

но тебе какое дело?

00:00:51,977 --> 00:00:52,883

Зачем это тебе?

00:00:52,963 --> 00:00:54,011

Их две.

00:00:59,188 --> 00:01:01,028

- Да, круто.

- Морти?

00:01:01,874 --> 00:01:02,773

П-привет.

00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:04,114

Рад тебя видеть.

00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:08,765

Ты... ты до сих пор тащишься по воронам.

00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,753

Два ворона, вы помните Морти.

00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:12,091

Морти, это два ворона.

00:01:12,513 --> 00:01:14,663

Я рад тебя видеть,

но надо было предупредить.

00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,028

Да я был тут неподалёку. Не то чтобы я...

00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:19,691

Битве за воронов нет конца.

00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:22,514

Что ж. Тогда в ней нет смысла, да?

00:01:23,073 --> 00:01:25,120

Грубовато я сказал... осуждающе.

00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:26,651

Вороконь. Вороконь.

00:01:26,763 --> 00:01:28,000

- Ладно.

- Вороконь.

00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,203

- Похоже...

- Вороконь.

00:01:29,283 --> 00:01:31,417

Похоже, они ведут тебя куда-то.

00:01:32,023 --> 00:01:32,973

Береги себя, Морти.

00:01:33,234 --> 00:01:34,583

И ты себя.

00:01:34,697 --> 00:01:36,000

Кстати, у меня всё хорошо.

00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,673

Папа собирался съесть йогурт,

00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:39,840

который ты оставил в холодильнике,

н-но я сказал ему…

00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,365

Ветер несёт меня.

00:01:45,394 --> 00:01:50,297

Мы возносимся на чёрных крыльях,

00:01:51,343 --> 00:01:56,674

Мы будем биться вместе целую вечность,

00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:01,885

Там, где кончается небо,

00:02:03,393 --> 00:02:05,120

С тобой.

00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,234

РИК И ДВА ВОРОНА

00:02:22,853 --> 00:02:25,623

Я ищу вороного пугателя.

00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,903

Воронье пугало? Злое воронье пугало.

00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,383

Ну же. Кто сдаст его первым – будет жить.

00:02:32,468 --> 00:02:34,081

Ладно, прихлопну очередного мудака,

00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:35,783

хоть шаги поднаберу.

00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:43,577

Кошанчик.

00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:52,217

Рик!

00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,337

Морти?

00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:54,503

Бревно?

00:02:57,383 --> 00:02:59,033

Морти, шкет, тебе что, сорокет?

00:02:59,154 --> 00:03:00,481

Прошло много времени, Рик.

00:03:00,561 --> 00:03:03,303

Тогда можем пропустить по стаканчику.

00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,303

У вас есть ром с колой?

00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:07,737

- Тебе что, 20?

- Ой, ну перестань.

00:03:08,293 --> 00:03:10,217

Как быстро летит время, да?

00:03:10,468 --> 00:03:13,314

Это твоя реакция

на потраченную впустую жизнь?

00:03:13,451 --> 00:03:14,252

Мне нормально.

00:03:14,332 --> 00:03:15,953

Но как же я?

00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:19,623

Так... Извините, парни,

вам лучше отлучиться.

00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:23,303

Я думал, что если оставлю тебя в покое,

ты вырастешь из этой... фазы.

00:03:23,623 --> 00:03:24,948

Вот твоё пойло, позер.

00:03:25,783 --> 00:03:27,843

Отец заболел. Четвёртая стадия.

00:03:27,923 --> 00:03:30,172

Тебе бы понравилось.

Саммер стала медсестрой.

00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,845

Ну, типа того. Вышла за нарика.

00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:35,085

Рик, вернись домой,

00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:36,719

пока у нас ещё осталось время.

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,332

Морти, у нас были нездоровые отношения.

00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:41,634

А эти здоровые? Ты пережил

тысячи приключений с этими воронами.

00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,085

Когда ты убьёшь их главгада?

00:03:43,165 --> 00:03:45,805

Во-первых, убить его –

это главная цель моих парней,

00:03:45,885 --> 00:03:48,274

а во-вторых, иди на хуй

за обесценивание моего счастья.

00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,203

Возможно, ты меня больше не увидишь.

00:03:50,283 --> 00:03:51,714

Надеюсь, это не так, Морти,

00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,523

потому что ты выглядишь как кусок говна,

а я не хочу запомнить тебя таким.

00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,360

Теперь, когда два ворона у меня,

00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,628

ничто не помешает мне

уничтожить Рика-ворона!

00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:18,023

Не надо его оправдывать.

Вообще не понимаю, что вы в нём нашли.

00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,463

Вы правы.

Надо наслаждаться этим моментом.

00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,176

Рик-Ворон!

00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,474

Понимаю, как это выглядит, но...

00:04:25,573 --> 00:04:28,365

Выглядит так, будто мой заклятый

враг Вороной Пугатель и мои напарники

00:04:28,445 --> 00:04:29,863

намылились в приключение.

00:04:29,943 --> 00:04:31,532

Не выставляй себя жертвой.

00:04:31,612 --> 00:04:35,531

У нас были приключения

ещё задолго до твоего появления.

00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:38,183

Три зубных щётки!

00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,011

В смысле, я был для вас интрижкой?

00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,473

Вы думаете, что тоже

были для меня интрижкой?

00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,840

Вот срань, теперь в этом нет смысла.

00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:49,154

Могло быть и хуже.

00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:51,863

Ладно, наши приключения были

метафорой романтических отношений,

00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,257

это не настоящее расставание.

00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:56,903

Говори за себя.

А мы просто обожаем тела друг друга.

00:04:56,983 --> 00:04:58,285

Что? Фу! Нет!

00:04:58,388 --> 00:05:01,565

Кажется, он ждёт доказательств.

Покажем ему, ребята.

00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:03,257

Я ни о чём не просил. Ни о чём.

00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,285

Грязные пташки.

00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:12,937

Дарую свободу воли.

00:05:15,257 --> 00:05:17,097

Подчинись Вороконю!

00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,788

Ой.

00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:23,897

Рик?

00:05:24,011 --> 00:05:25,813

Вабба лабба даб даб! Я вернулся, приятель.

00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:26,983

Морти, кто там пришёл?

00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,903

Стоп, я думал, что ты подох в мучениях.

00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:30,285

Что за дела вообще?

00:05:30,365 --> 00:05:31,863

Понимаешь, дело в том, что я...

00:05:31,943 --> 00:05:35,097

Пап, это просто смешно, будь

добр, верни Морти его возраст.

00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:37,760

Возможно, я воспользовался

сывороткой старения,

00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:39,794

чтобы слегка эмоционально

тебя шантажировать.

00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:41,523

Сообразил, и я всё понимаю, Морти.

00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:42,891

С воронами у меня всё.

00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,394

Они были дико назойливыми,

и я готов вернуться к тебе.

00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:46,479

Нажмём на перезапуск.

00:05:46,559 --> 00:05:48,286

Погоди, милый. Давай без перезапуска.

00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:51,253

Скажи дедушке, что заслуживаешь уважения,

00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,154

и теперь ты требуешь

иного отношения к себе.

00:05:53,234 --> 00:05:55,663

Не буду.

Я хочу, чтобы мы снова были вместе.

00:05:55,743 --> 00:05:56,537

Весь в батю.

00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,743

Не переживай, милая,

это кризис среднего возраста.

00:05:58,823 --> 00:06:01,418

Когда увидит, что вся жизнь впереди,

он станет менее созависимым.

00:06:01,498 --> 00:06:04,811

Пусть ему будет сорок, чтобы он

покупал «ешки» мне и друзьям.

00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,674

Я лучше выкину свой голос, чем буду

поддерживать сломанную систему.

00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:10,444

Давай исправим это на первом приключении.

00:06:10,524 --> 00:06:11,873

А то я захотел подстричь газон.

00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:14,378

Кто продал тебе эту хреновую сыворотку?

Как выглядел?

00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,373

Как ты. Я взял её в Цитадели.

00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:19,314

Заебумба!

С бухты-барахты эпизод про Цитадель!

00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,417

Досвидосы, членососы.

00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,513

Привет, я – новый талисман Цитадели, Энди.

00:06:28,593 --> 00:06:32,251

Ведь это место не было бы

домом без Риков, Энди, Морти.

00:06:32,354 --> 00:06:33,028

Тупо.

00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:34,663

Что стало с этим местом?

00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:36,138

Теперь тут Морти – президент.

00:06:36,218 --> 00:06:38,412

Чудно. Восстановились и сделали всё милее.

00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:39,714

Как в Глендейле.

00:06:39,828 --> 00:06:41,291

Чёрт, какой же ты сварливый.

00:06:41,394 --> 00:06:42,343

Даже какать больно.

00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:44,240

Вот здесь тебя поправят.

00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,029

ПЕРЕДЕЛАЕМ МОРТИ

00:06:45,109 --> 00:06:48,503

Так, у нас тут стандартный Морти,

который повзрослел до сорока?

00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:49,313

Исправить можно?

00:06:49,393 --> 00:06:50,811

Представь, что он – кость.

00:06:50,948 --> 00:06:55,203

Можно сломать его возраст в двух местах,

убрать середину и срастить две части.

00:06:55,303 --> 00:06:56,913

З-звучит жестоко.

00:06:56,993 --> 00:06:59,303

- Это же не буквально кость, Морти.

- Ну ладно.

00:06:59,383 --> 00:07:02,240

Крепись, во время процедуры

поломаются все кости в теле.

00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,313

Погоди!

00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:06,948

Люблю карандаши. Девчонки – бяки.

00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:12,263

К-кажется, я снова стал собой.

00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:15,337

Выглядишь странно. Кожа розовая,

как у новорожденного мышонка.

00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:16,137

Это нормально?

00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:16,858

Возможно.

00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,554

Распишись за хранение или

утилизацию 26 лет, что мы убрали.

00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:20,321

Что?

00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:22,058

Я не буду платить за хранение 26 лет.

00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:23,703

Тогда бери с собой.

00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:27,074

Я почти готов продаться.

00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:28,857

Сколько стоит утилизация?

00:07:30,643 --> 00:07:32,137

Какая-то несправедливость.

00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,813

Выхода нет! Выхода нет!

00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:36,148

Я помогу, а то выглядит не очень.

00:07:36,651 --> 00:07:37,144

Блин.

00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,560

Меня пристрелили! Ты мешаешь людям

наслаждаться Цитаделью.

00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:41,256

Выслушайте!

00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:41,978

Бросай ствол!

00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:45,280

Нас всех ждёт смерть,

а Цитадель — это оружие массового...

00:07:46,194 --> 00:07:48,218

Да уж. Тебя отстранят

с сохранением зарплаты.

00:07:48,298 --> 00:07:50,388

Валим, Морти, а то утонем в политоте.

00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,234

Я был влиятельным?

00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:56,383

Да, ты был влиятельным.

У тебя было семь...

00:07:56,463 --> 00:07:57,657

семь блогов.

00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:58,627

Ништяк.

00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,051

Поздно.

00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:04,843

Рик С-137, президент Морти

приглашает вас отужинать с ним.

00:08:04,925 --> 00:08:07,663

- Ух ты! Серьёзно?

- А ничего, что я уничтожил это место?

00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:08,937

Вас помиловали, сэр.

00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,663

Рик, давай поужинаем с президентом Морти.

00:08:10,743 --> 00:08:12,834

Морти, мы хотели вернуться

к простым приключениям,

00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:14,354

а в Цитадели всё завязано на каноне.

00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,703

Ладно, похоже, что всё

и правда вернётся на круги своя.

00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:19,288

Ладно, можно и поесть.

00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,783

Но как только он выдаст

злую натуру, мы валим.

00:08:25,173 --> 00:08:27,177

Ну не знаю. Довольно вкусно.

00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:30,228

Скажи, если почувствуешь отравление.

Рад, что ты со мной.

00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:33,521

Простите за опоздание.

00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:34,755

Дел непочатый край.

00:08:34,835 --> 00:08:37,473

Глянь-ка, Морти. Из тебя

и правда сделали президента.

00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:39,691

И я ненавижу их за это каждый день.

Надо же!

00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:43,343

Рик С-137. Ради такого человека

и дела можно сдвинуть.

00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,760

Надеюсь, ты не будешь тут всё взрывать.

00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,503

Если не собираешься заточить меня.

00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:48,857

Блин, об этом можно лишь мечтать.

00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,674

Но здорово, что ты заскочил, хотя…

00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:52,343

я бы всё равно тебя поймал.

00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:53,897

Показал натуру. Потанцуем.

00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:54,914

Блин.

00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:57,793

Рик, перестань.

Рики и Морти избрали его президентом.

00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:58,685

Он же хороший.

00:08:58,765 --> 00:09:00,213

Все политики ведут себя хорошо.

00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:01,668

А ему палец в рот не клади…

00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:02,732

Да, мы многое пережили.

00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:03,913

И он не любит...

00:09:03,993 --> 00:09:05,235

...растянутые мылодрамы.

00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:07,269

Да, никакой драмы, лучше эпизодично.

00:09:07,349 --> 00:09:10,103

В его случае — пустая трата легенды.

00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:12,491

- Ты знал, что он построил это место?

- Чего?

00:09:12,571 --> 00:09:14,514

А ты в этом месте, смотрю,

навел марафет, да?

00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:15,783

Поэтому изуродованные Морти

00:09:15,863 --> 00:09:18,693

вылезают из канализации с мыслями

о надежде и переменах?

00:09:18,773 --> 00:09:19,304

Ты прав.

00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,829

Хорошо подловил, Рик.

Что за дела такие, мистер П?

00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,803

Есть у меня проект,

требующий рабочую силу.

00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:29,783

Можно и без неё обойтись, если расскажешь,

как разрушить центральную конечную кривую.

00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:30,743

Пора уходить, Морти.

00:09:30,823 --> 00:09:32,090

Хочу знать, о чём это он.

00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:33,416

Ты проделал такой путь.

00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:34,719

Может, дашь 10 секунд?

00:09:34,799 --> 00:09:36,446

Буквально десять? Тогда осталось шесть.

00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:37,863

Сойдёт.

00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,685

Пусть даже две, одна...

00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:45,063

В общем, ты бы помог, если бы рассказал,

но я и так получил всё, что нужно.

00:09:45,154 --> 00:09:46,363

Только проверю.

00:09:46,443 --> 00:09:48,843

Под закуски невозможно

просканировать целый мозг.

00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,851

Твой почти полностью

отсканировали ещё очень давно.

00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:53,394

А ты и забыл.

00:09:53,588 --> 00:09:55,873

Это было в десятой серии

первого сезона, Риканутые.

00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,714

Эксельсиор.

00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:58,753

Злой Рик.

00:09:58,833 --> 00:09:59,817

Мы же уделали его.

00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:01,223

Злой Рик. Мне нравится.

00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:02,696

Самый умный человек во вселенной

00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,776

с таким большим эго, что им

можно играться, как джойстиком.

00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:06,926

Вроде всё есть.

00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,715

А я думал, что придётся убить

всех Риков в Цитадели.

00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:11,588

Козлина! Я же ручался за тебя!

00:10:11,668 --> 00:10:13,583

Он пришёл к тебе,

только потому что я попросил.

00:10:13,663 --> 00:10:14,703

Прости, Рик.

00:10:14,783 --> 00:10:17,703

Твоё извинение и отвёртка

в моей руке стоили бы отвёртки.

00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,273

Поражаюсь продажным Морти.

00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,194

Я бы ненавидел вас сильнее, чем Риков,

которых вы боготворите, да смысла нет.

00:10:22,274 --> 00:10:23,336

Вы не можете по-другому.

00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:24,743

Вас штампуют ради этого.

00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:25,794

Хочешь посмотреть?

00:10:29,343 --> 00:10:31,051

Ты знаешь, что Рики-ренегаты

используют Морти,

00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,123

чтобы прятаться от Цитадели.

00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,063

Но вряд ли тебе известно:

00:10:35,143 --> 00:10:37,532

благодаря этому Цитадель

стала рынком Морти.

00:10:37,612 --> 00:10:41,451

И ты явно не знаешь, как далеко

они зашли в удовлетворении спроса.

00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:44,948

Рики могут прочесать бесконечность

в поисках внуков,

00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:49,443

рожденных естественным путём, но зачем?

Столько усилий! Спрос рождает предложение.

00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:52,445

Нет бесконечных версий

нашего дедушки, Морти.

00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:55,188

Он – бесконечный чиркаш

одного дерьмового старика.

00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:59,794

И он бесконечно привязывается к нам

через свою слабость и наше прощение.

00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,133

Поэтому мы с ним.

00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:04,133

Поэтому мы живы.

00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:11,033

Что за херня? Скажи, что это неправда.

00:11:11,113 --> 00:11:12,183

Это не вся правда.

00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:12,812

- Врёшь.

- Врёшь.

00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:14,803

- Всё сложно.

- Я ничем не занят.

00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,834

Морти, помнишь я сказал, что мне нужно

лишь твоё извинение и отвёртка в руке?

00:11:19,028 --> 00:11:21,269

Но я забыл, что отвёртка

у меня буквально в руке.

00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:23,897

Прикиньте, я же по сути Инспектор Гаджет.

00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:27,771

Ой-ёй. Пускай уходит.

00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,783

Он – самый Рикнутый Рик.

00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:31,763

Мы его больше не увидим.

00:11:33,908 --> 00:11:36,858

Морти, ты заправлял здесь пушку,

когда пришел за сывороткой?

00:11:37,223 --> 00:11:38,068

Да.

00:11:39,863 --> 00:11:40,914

Твою мать!

00:11:41,143 --> 00:11:43,428

Только один человек смог взломать

мою портальную пушку,

00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:45,246

и оказывается, это был злой ты.

00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:47,303

Ура. Наконец-то догнал.

00:11:48,903 --> 00:11:50,171

Так, погодите, погодите.

00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:52,984

Кто это?

00:11:53,064 --> 00:11:55,063

Большая шишка. В укрытие!

00:11:57,543 --> 00:11:58,285

Ему это нравится?

00:11:58,445 --> 00:12:00,945

Это – метафора капитализма, Морти.

Сам как думаешь?

00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:03,520

Хвать!

00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:21,885

От прошлого не убежать, Рик.

00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:25,635

Ты думал, что разобьёшь силовое поле

со второго выстрела?

00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:28,263

Я выразил несогласие с твоими репликами.

00:12:28,891 --> 00:12:30,183

Не соглашайся сколько влезет.

00:12:30,263 --> 00:12:33,093

Сегодня качество реплик

потеряет значение.

00:12:33,173 --> 00:12:35,977

Сегодня я проверну ту штуку,

которую хотел...

00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:37,973

с кривой.

00:12:41,239 --> 00:12:43,021

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:43,216 --> 00:12:44,793

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:46,599

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:46,827 --> 00:12:50,519

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:50,599 --> 00:12:52,519

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,599

Не уходите. Оставайтесь.

00:12:54,879 --> 00:12:58,549

В такие неспокойные времена очень важно

сказать... говна наверните и в жопу идите.

00:12:58,629 --> 00:13:01,616

Фармацевты платят за всё, что я говорю.

У меня миллионы долларов,

00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:05,330

и мне пофиг, если вы... Блядь! О нет!

00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:09,266

А я скажу, что рецептурные препараты —

это хорошо, так что сходите и купите.

00:13:09,696 --> 00:13:12,370

- Что происходит, Рик?

- Он взломал порталы во всём городе.

00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,421

Давай, возможно, есть один выход... снизу.

00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,283

Что он хотел найти в твоём мозге?

00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:26,039

Наверное, чертежи

пространственного двигателя Цитадели.

00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:27,512

Если он хочет взорвать кривую,

00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:28,700

то лучше бы нам свалить.

00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:30,129

Что это вообще за кривая?

00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,775

Вопросы после того, как выживем.

00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:33,513

Надеюсь, мы сможем

достать нетронутую жидкость

00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,539

из источника и съебаться отсюда.

00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:37,639

Или нет.

00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,873

Н-да, а я думал,

что моя метафора капитализма была в лоб.

00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:46,579

Ты помогал строить Цитадель?

00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,153

Ты что, врал мне обо всём?

00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:50,679

Может, прошмыгнём через пещеру?

У нас чистый лист, Морти.

00:13:50,759 --> 00:13:51,902

Теперь только простые приключения.

00:13:51,982 --> 00:13:53,982

Никакого листа,

пока ты не расскажешь всё.

00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:56,519

Морти, времени нет. Скоро всё взорвётся.

00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:59,099

Я тебе не верю.

И больше ничего не буду делать,

00:13:59,179 --> 00:14:00,667

пока не получу прямые ответы.

00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:03,227

Твою мать.

Вот мой сраный скачанный мозг, Морти.

00:14:03,307 --> 00:14:04,379

Хочешь рейтинги скатить?

00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:07,068

Хочешь узнать мою дурацкую

сопливую предысторию? Валяй.

00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:08,576

Но не сейчас!

00:16:28,079 --> 00:16:30,427

- Круто, Рик!

- Да, неплохо, Морти!

00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,679

Ого. Мёртвая жена?

00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,650

Да, теперь все наконец могут заткнуться.

00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:36,564

Ух ты, Рик.

00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:40,291

- Мне стало лучше, когда я это увидел.

- Да, в этом всё и дело.

00:16:40,371 --> 00:16:43,010

Они считают себя

жертвами несправедливости.

00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:45,513

Чем и оправдывают вот это.

00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:50,450

Морти, я не могу отвечать

за каждого шизанутого Рика.

00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:52,953

Каждый из них так говорит.

Это их оправдание.

00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:53,992

Это часть их естества.

00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:55,439

У них нет чувства ответственности.

00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:56,987

Все они – жертвы самих себя.

00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:58,959

«Как же трудно быть гением».

00:16:59,039 --> 00:16:59,891

Может, просто умрёшь?

00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:02,496

- И чего ты с этим сделаешь?

- Ни хрена. Я ухожу.

00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:04,644

Знаешь, что такое

центральная конечная кривая?

00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,439

Они построили стену вокруг бесконечности.

00:17:06,519 --> 00:17:09,776

Отделили все бесконечные вселенные

от бесконечных вселенных,

00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,679

в которых он –

самый умный человек во вселенной.

00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:15,449

Каждая версия нас прожила каждую версию

наших жизней в бесконечной колыбели,

00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:17,981

построенной вокруг

бесконечного сраного дитя.

00:17:18,199 --> 00:17:20,553

И я покину её. Поэтому я считаюсь злым?

00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,039

Потому что он меня бесит?

00:17:22,496 --> 00:17:24,746

Если он тоже тебя бесил,

значит, ты тоже злой.

00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:28,279

Рик, ты правда бросил воронов ради меня?

00:17:28,587 --> 00:17:30,861

Или ты вернулся, потому

что они тебя бросили?

00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,289

Во-во, парень.

00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,136

Теперь ты тоже Злой Морти.

00:17:35,216 --> 00:17:36,861

Все мы станем злыми

00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:38,667

по эту сторону кривой.

00:17:53,369 --> 00:17:56,553

Не парься, Морти. Есть выход, до которого

не додумался никто. Операция «Феникс».

00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,005

Но это же вроде как смерть.

00:17:58,085 --> 00:18:01,673

Да, но им же хуже, ведь мы

нашли чёрный ход с этого булыжника.

00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:04,907

Перенаправлено.

00:18:05,593 --> 00:18:08,770

Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено.

Перенаправлено.

00:18:09,101 --> 00:18:12,009

Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено.

Перенаправлено.

00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,221

- Боже, что за пиздец?

- Давай, Морти. Пора валить.

00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,901

Идём, если хочешь.

00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,936

Если нет, то меня не вини.

00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,581

Я думаю, что это

лучшее предложение на рынке.

00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:29,189

У-у меня нет плана.

00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:36,039

Спасибо, приятель.

Рад, что ты не послушал мой совет.

00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:37,859

Оно и к лучшему. Я соглал.

00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:39,399

Второе сиденье – это туалет.

00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:41,159

Вот конченая мразота.

00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,044

Но признание сделало его отчасти крутым.

00:18:43,124 --> 00:18:45,501

Блин, вы и правда созданы

ради прощения. Валим.

00:18:56,039 --> 00:18:57,776

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В МОРТИБУРГ

00:19:01,079 --> 00:19:03,581

Прощайтесь с Цитаделью, ребята.

00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,141

Ой-ёй!

00:19:36,381 --> 00:19:38,131

ВКЛЮЧИТЬ МОЖНО ТОЛЬКО С НАПАРНИКОМ.

00:20:59,616 --> 00:21:00,919

Злой Морти.

00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,379

Вот это он придумал!

00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:05,119

Интересно, может, есть и мой злой двойник?

00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:08,739

Хотя, судя по моей жизни,

такой двойник мне и не нужен.

00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:12,779

Потому что я сам испоганил свою жизнь.

00:21:12,859 --> 00:21:17,039

Ой-ёй. Я не смог вернуться

на работу в университете. Помните?

00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:18,657

Рик научил меня карате.

00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,239

А ведь было забавно.

00:21:20,319 --> 00:21:22,499

Но потом всё пошло по наклонной.

00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:24,929

Я начал отдаляться от Эми.

00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:27,171

Раньше я рассказывал ей

обо всём, что чувствую,

00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:28,827

но потом перестал.

00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:31,319

Ведь я хотел, чтобы она любила меня таким,

каким видела в своих глазах,

00:21:31,399 --> 00:21:33,273

а не таким, каким я становился.

00:21:33,456 --> 00:21:36,119

Не задумывались,

в каком ужасе были бы наши близкие,

00:21:36,199 --> 00:21:37,994

если бы узнали, какие мы на самом деле?

00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:41,939

И вот каждый день мы закапываемся

в свои жизни всё глубже и глубже.

00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:45,193

И делаем больно людям,

которым хватило смелости полюбить нас.

00:21:45,593 --> 00:21:47,109

Лучше бы я этого не делал.

00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:49,433

Лучше бы мне хватило смелости

дарить любовь в ответ.

00:21:49,513 --> 00:21:51,844

Даже не знаю. Попробуйте так сделать.

00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:55,570

У нас не так много времени,

как кажется. Ой-ёй.

00:21:56,899 --> 00:22:01,899

Перевод: Женя Спицын

Синхронизация под рип: Георгий Владимиров