Неумортная приквда

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Chicks are gonna be up

all up in our biz

00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,044

when they see us wearing these

Rick and Morty custom tees.

00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,540

I bet we could

sell these.

00:00:13,575 --> 00:00:14,838

Hells yeah.

I fuckin' love merch!

00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:16,004

Aah!

00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,346

The rain! It -- It burns!

Oh, shit.

00:00:17,381 --> 00:00:18,380

Quick, Morty,

protect the shirts!

00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,008

The door!

Open the door!

00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,350

Rick!

Is it --

00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:22,648

Morty,

will ya stop tryna--

00:00:22,683 --> 00:00:24,089

Okay, there, it's open.

00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,014

Jesus.

My skin is on fire.

00:00:26,049 --> 00:00:27,389

W-Why is the rain

doing that?

00:00:27,424 --> 00:00:30,425

My acid rain will destroy

00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:34,693

all things green and natural

or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.

00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,237

Huh. Well, that guy's

easy to please.

00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,998

Your acid rain is

an acid pain...

00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,868

in the butt, Diesel Weasel!

00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:46,276

Yikes.

Wow.

00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:47,871

Who's the chick in need

of a dialogue pass?

00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,676

First order of business

is to clean up this acid rain

00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,546

with a little wind!

00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:53,580

Yoww!

00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,351

Ow! Ow, my leg!

00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:56,583

Wow.

00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:59,091

And now an elemental punch

that's too hot to handle!

00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,587

Wa-kah!

00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:01,852

Oh, wow.

00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,051

Curse you, Planetina!

00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,130

I'll get you next slime!

00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,728

There's only one solution

for Earth's pollution -- you!

00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,401

Wow.

Morty, if you say "wow"

00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:13,732

one more time,

I swear to fucking God...

00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,470

Are you crazy, Rick?

She's right there!

00:01:15,505 --> 00:01:17,142

Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty.

It's 8% of the Earth.

00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,638

We'll need every atom.

00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:21,740

Thanks!

Every litter-bit helps!

00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:23,247

Your problem!

00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:24,611

Excuse me?

S-Sorry.

00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,119

I-I-I wanted to say,

"N-No problem, you're welcome,"

00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,154

a-a-and it came out

"your problem."

00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,419

I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.

00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:33,048

You're not an idiot.

You recycled.

00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:35,127

I-I'm Morty.

Nice to meet you, Morty.

00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,294

I'm Planetina, and I hope you

have a wonderful day.

00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,394

Rick: Hey!

00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:39,560

The fuck we doin' here?

00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,628

Uhh, y-y-you

like soft serve?

00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:42,959

There's a shop

around the bend.

00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:44,730

Oh, I don't eat

ice cream.

00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:47,095

Veal is a product of

the dairy industry.

00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,305

Oh, that's not good.

00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,504

No, it is not.

00:01:49,539 --> 00:01:52,067

Oh, my God!

Come on! Let's go!

00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,102

I know a place that serves

cruelty-free doughnuts.

00:01:54,137 --> 00:01:56,280

If you'd like, I could

fly you and your friend there

00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,479

easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,613

Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.

00:01:59,648 --> 00:02:02,484

He -- He said he can't come.

Let's go!

00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:06,620

What the fuck

was that shit?

00:02:37,884 --> 00:02:39,653

Planetina:

The Earth is in danger!

00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,051

Pollution and waste

are ruining our planet.

00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,625

Mother Nature has enlisted

the help of four young adults

00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,858

from each major ethnicity --

and when things look bad,

00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:49,663

and I mean really bad --

they combine the powers

00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:52,303

of their elemental rings

to create me!

00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,372

Planetina,

conservationist super person!

00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,066

There's only one solution...

00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,870

for Earth's pollution -- you!

00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:00,069

P-Pretty cool, huh?

00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,346

I-I can't believe I actually

hung out with Planetina.

00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,810

How old is this woman?

She looks very mature.

00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,713

She's a sentient amalgam

of natural elements,

00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,649

so I don't believe age

applies to her.

00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:10,321

Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me

the day before his

00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,686

hella-big pool party

and my little brother's

00:03:12,721 --> 00:03:14,391

dating a phase four

super hero.

00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:16,228

Just shoot me in the fucking

head until I die.

00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,856

Hey, hey, none of that,

Summerfest.

00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:19,594

Look what you're doing to your

sister, you piece of shit.

00:03:19,629 --> 00:03:20,991

Is it weird that she hasn't

texted me yet?

00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,366

Yes.

No.

00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,895

What if I told you that

your Grandpa Rick's

00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:25,534

got something up his sleeve

that's so Rick-diculous

00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:26,766

that it's gonna make you

forget all about

00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,438

that stupid asshole

that dumped you?

00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:30,242

Hey, my egg plate!

00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,574

Morglutz, Slartivart,

and Ferkus 9 --

00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,071

three planets are all ending

in a delayed succession

00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:36,545

of cataclysmic events.

00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,206

A jam like this comes around

only once in a lifetime.

00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,746

Morglutz's sun is

going supernova,

00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:41,583

Slartivart is falling

into a black hole,

00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,519

and Ferkus 9 is getting

"Deep Impact"-ed

00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:44,883

by an asteroid.

00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,555

They're all having a major,

final blow out --

00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:48,458

and I'm gonna drug it up

and suck it up before each one

00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,592

goes ka-blamo,

and I'm taking

00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:51,890

my favorite grandkid

along with me!

00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:53,958

Hells yeah.

10 seconds on Morglutz,

00:03:53,993 --> 00:03:55,564

and you'll be up to your

neck in I-could-give-two-

00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:57,126

shits-about-

what's-his-ass.

00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:58,226

And also herpes.

00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,271

Um...

Oh, my God,

00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,404

thank you,

Grandpa Rick!

00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:01,801

I'm gonna

go pack my rollie.

00:04:01,836 --> 00:04:03,902

Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given

you my approval yet.

00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:05,233

Summer, approval

00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,575

is yet to be given here!

00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:08,137

There's a huge forest fire

00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:09,578

like 200 miles from here!

00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,547

This is amazing!

Planetina's bound to be there.

00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:13,384

Mom, I-I need the credit card

to buy a train ticket.

00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,649

Absolutely not.

00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:16,486

Mom, this is the biggest

wildfire of the year!

00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,817

You're not going!

You're not going!

00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:18,917

Da fuck I'm not.

00:04:18,952 --> 00:04:20,424

Last time I checked,

this wasn't Russia.

00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,151

It's not Russia, Jerry.

My heart is broken,

00:04:22,186 --> 00:04:23,790

and I deserve to let loose,

00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,221

and if you don't like it,

you can suck my bigger tit.

00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:27,629

Adios, C-words.

00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:28,993

Morty, I don't want you

getting hurt.

00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,830

Please, think this over.

I don't want to think!

00:04:30,865 --> 00:04:32,601

I want to see

a girl I like.

00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,932

If you don't want to

help me,

00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,934

I'll find my own goddamn way

to the wildfire.

00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,809

I'll get the wine.

Thank you.

00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:45,581

The Governor has implemented

a mandatory evacuation.

00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,144

Abandon all hope, people!

Nothing will stop this fire.

00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:49,684

Nothing!

00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:52,588

Scratch that! Here's Planetina,

Savioress of Earth!

00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,623

Yeeouch!

Talk about a hot foot.

00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:58,154

Better put this wildfire on ice!

00:04:58,662 --> 00:04:59,859

Morty: Come here, little buddy.

00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,993

Come on, come on, come on,

I gotcha.

00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,765

Morty?! What are you

doing here?

00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,470

Oh, hey!

Y-You're here, too?

00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:08,340

Yeah, I heard about

the wildfire back home,

00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,803

and, you know, I stopped

by to lend a hand.

00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:12,036

H-Here you go, fella.

All safe now.

00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,478

Ahh, rabbits --

al-always hopping --

00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,644

Never stoppin'.

00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:17,481

Y-Yeah.

00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,944

S-So it was, uh,

great hanging --

00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,550

hanging out

the other day.

00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,486

I-I was getting kind of a --

I mean I-I got kind of

00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:23,652

a p-positive vibe.

00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,390

Oh, good.

I was putting one out.

00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,523

I-I really like you.

00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,821

Holy shit.

00:05:27,856 --> 00:05:29,988

I-I-I mean, uh, well,

oh, all right.

00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:31,858

Next step, you w-want to

go out again?

00:05:31,893 --> 00:05:35,697

I do! But, uh, Morty,

I have kids.

00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,996

Oh, I-I-I'll get along

with them. I'm-I'm a kid.

00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:40,163

No, I mean the four kids

that bring me into existence

00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:42,066

by combining the power

of their elemental rings

00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:44,002

so I can save Earth

from ecological disasters.

00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:46,202

Oh, them!

No, I-I know about them.

00:05:46,237 --> 00:05:47,412

I-I like them.

00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,513

Oh, good.

Well, here they are now.

00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:51,174

Hey, buddy, you

want an autograph?

00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,516

That's 20 bucks a pop.

00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,177

No, Eddie,

he's my friend.

00:05:54,212 --> 00:05:56,817

Morty, these are my kids,

The Tina-Teers.

00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:57,851

Oh, hey.

00:05:57,886 --> 00:05:59,314

Tina, girl,

have you gained weight?

00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,151

Uh, well, I had a plant-based

doughnut yesterday.

00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,350

Just a half.

00:06:02,385 --> 00:06:04,528

Sugar is worst thing

for figure, darling.

00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,024

You want to be ugly?

00:06:06,059 --> 00:06:07,861

Heh, I-I thought

they'd be younger.

00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,830

They've been manifesting me

since the mid-'90s.

00:06:09,865 --> 00:06:12,195

A lot has changed

since then.

00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,603

This is freaking

you out, huh?

00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:15,572

It is a lot

to take in.

00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:16,903

I understand.

00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:19,235

Well, I guess

I'd better go.

00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:20,676

See you around.

00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:22,337

Hi-de-ho, TV 58!

00:06:22,372 --> 00:06:23,679

Planetina,

you single-handily saved

00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,911

a National Forest

with ease.

00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,715

I do what I can,

but I can't do it alone!

00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,453

And who's your friend

over there?

00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,949

Oh!

This is Morty Smith.

00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:32,754

He traveled 200 miles just

to save a rabbit from the fire.

00:06:32,789 --> 00:06:34,217

He's a very special guy.

00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,350

So, are you two dating?

00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,462

Oh, um, w-- I-I-I --

00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,058

Yes, we are.

00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,028

Fuck love.

Fuck love.

00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:44,392

All right, time

to set the rules.

00:06:44,427 --> 00:06:45,393

Lay it on me.

No whining.

00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:46,394

Done.

No crying.

00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:47,769

As if.

00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,397

And absolutely, positively

no getting attached.

00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:52,103

We're here to smash max ass --

quantity over quality.

00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:53,544

Deal?

Deal!

00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,579

I'm gonna eat so much ass,

you're gonna shit.

00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,240

Check this out. This is gonna

be me at the party --

00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:58,450

b-b-laaaah!

00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,946

B-b-blaaaah!

Oh, is that another ass?

00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,915

Don't mind if

I-- b-b-blaaaah!

00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,753

Ho-ho! This'll be me across

the room -- "Excuse me, miss.

00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,458

It appears that you have

an uneaten ass.

00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,416

Allow me --

lalalalalaaah!

00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:09,494

Lalalalalaaah!

B-b-blaaaah!

00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,529

B-b-blaaaah!

00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:15,929

Whoo!

Fucking super nova party!

00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:17,766

Love is a lie!

Hack the planet!

00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:19,097

The world's ending,

and for some reason,

00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:21,231

I want to die with you

more than anyone else.

00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,298

Wow!

00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,508

Yo, Rick, don't look now,

00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,939

but someone's giving you

the big eye.

00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,942

'Scuse me.

I got to see a man about

00:07:28,977 --> 00:07:31,516

a horse I'd rather

have sex with.

00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,649

Aah!

00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:33,980

Hello.

I'm Rick.

00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:36,488

Hey. So, the world's ending,

and for some reason,

00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,446

I want to die with you

more than anyone else.

00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:39,590

Hello.

00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,624

Summer:

Have fun, Grandpa Rick!

00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,956

No commitments!

00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:56,134

you gave me strength

00:07:56,169 --> 00:08:02,514

soul twin loves

00:08:08,082 --> 00:08:09,147

Surprise!

00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:10,181

What are you doing here?

00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,479

Mmm!

00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,723

I told my kids I went out

to recycle batteries.

00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,121

All kidding aside,

everyone should discard

00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:19,795

used batteries at

proper disposal centers

00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,127

instead of tossing them into

a regular waste bin.

00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,029

Thanks for the tip.

00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,200

past forever

00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:41,245

Solus is collapsing

in five zip-zops.

00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,587

If we time it right,

00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,347

we can skeet together

as the sun explodes.

00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,722

Sounds ah-mazing.

00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:47,823

Say, I think I left

my purse back at the bar.

00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,594

Can both of you go

get it for me?

00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,728

Anything for you,

Mrs. Obama.

00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,191

Time to ghost,

Grandpa Rick.

00:08:53,226 --> 00:08:55,358

Rick: Righty-right.

Meet me at the car.

00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,932

One of these has to be hers.

Where'd she go?

00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,527

I guess we'll have to

start without her.

00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:00,671

Oh, her loss.

00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,871

B-b-blaaaaaaaaah!

00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:06,072

Whoo! Planet number two,

let's do it!

00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,206

Sorry, I took so long.

I had to ditch some clingers.

00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,538

Let's do it.

Up the butt, y'all.

00:09:10,573 --> 00:09:11,913

Geez, you okay to drive?

00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:12,749

Shiii!

00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,883

'Course, I-I-I'm mable.

00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:17,149

ckle up.

00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,253

Yeah!

00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,520

Whoo!

The best week of my life!

00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:26,554

Daphne: Hello.

00:09:26,589 --> 00:09:27,863

What was that?

Nothin'.

00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,129

Who wants to see

the most radadelic

00:09:30,164 --> 00:09:31,735

lady-version

of a super hero?

00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,463

Fire!

Water!

00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,070

Air!

And Dirt!

00:09:40,273 --> 00:09:42,471

Oh, no, the convention.

Morty, wake up!

00:09:42,506 --> 00:09:43,747

We overslept.

What's happening?

00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:44,979

Hey, there's a little

boy on her!

00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:46,783

Oh, d-d-drop

the curtain!

00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:47,784

There is no curtain!

00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,917

Idiots, zap her away!

00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:50,281

No, no, no.

Wait, I-I --

00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:51,579

Whoa!

Security!

00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:52,987

What did you do?

B-Bring her back!

00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,758

No! Let me go!

Sorry, folks.

00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,419

Planetina will be back

in a moment.

00:09:56,454 --> 00:10:00,588

Until then, who wants a limited

edition Funko for only $50?

00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,492

This is very bad.

00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,669

We are about

to close deal.

00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,396

We cannot

afford controversy.

00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,639

Don't you worry.

00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,872

I know how ta deal with

this Morty kid.

00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,242

Hey, a bunch of us

are going over to Hibler's place

00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:18,606

to shoot ourselves.

00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,245

Y-You want to come with?

00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,445

Sorry, but no man's tying down

Sum-Sum tonight.

00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,446

Hit the dicks.

00:10:23,481 --> 00:10:24,656

Your loss, honey.

00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,351

You could have

had allllllll this.

00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,960

Hey, check it out!

There's old people dancing!

00:10:40,663 --> 00:10:42,465

Damn, girl.

Your moves is tight.

00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,708

Hello.

Summer: Rick!

00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,304

What the WTF is that

Morglutzian doing here?

00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:48,141

Morglutzian? She's --

She's not Morglutzian.

00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:50,506

She's the only blue person

here without three eyes!

00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,377

Okay, fine. B-Busted.

Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.

00:10:53,412 --> 00:10:55,115

Daphne, this is Summer,

my granddaughter.

00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,051

Granddaughter?

Hello.

00:10:57,086 --> 00:10:58,646

Daphne heard about

our little party crawl,

00:10:58,681 --> 00:10:59,823

and I told her

she could come with.

00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,989

I-I-In the trunk.

00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,518

What in the actual

fuck, Rick?

00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,893

We said no commitments!

00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:06,797

This was to be our

Apocalypse Party-crawl!

00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,326

You broke the rules!

00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:10,229

Squares follow rules, Summer.

Daphne's down to freak.

00:11:10,264 --> 00:11:12,704

sick,

nasty thing I want to do.

00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,497

Hello.

Oh, yeah, baby.

00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,843

All right, fellas,

take five.

00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,845

He ain't gonna give me

any trouble.

00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,176

Morty: Where's Planetina?

00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:25,013

Don't you worry about her.

I want to see her!

00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:27,510

Planetina's got a lot of

responsibilities.

00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,017

People depend on her.

00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,480

And you, my friend,

00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,416

are a distraction

we can't afford right now.

00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,088

She's just a product

to you, isn't she?

00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,925

Something to make

money off of.

00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,355

W-Well, Planetina's

more than that.

00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:39,258

She's a brilliant,

living thing, and I love her.

00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:42,360

Oh, you love her?

Well, guess what.

00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:43,768

We own her.

00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,165

But not for long,

of course.

00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,695

We're gonna sell her

to some Arab overseas.

00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,103

Fire.

00:11:49,138 --> 00:11:50,907

As for you,

maybe she won't

00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:53,503

love you so much if you

ain't so pretty no more.

00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,537

Stop! Yah!

00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:55,747

Ow!

00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,243

Y-You want to fuck with me?

Do you?

00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,278

Stupid fuckin'

shit hole!

00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,279

Aaaaaah!

00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:03,711

Guard: Boss, what's happening?

Let us in!

00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:04,756

Aah!

00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,417

Fire!

00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,157

Fire!

00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,721

Can we conclude our business?

00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,261

I'm eager to celebrate

my purchase of

00:12:15,296 --> 00:12:17,769

Planetina over dinner,

and these infant seals

00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,067

aren't getting any younger.

00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,695

Momentarily, comrade.

00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,906

Soon, our partner

will return.

00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:25,139

Ugh! What is taking

Eddie so long?

00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,635

His phone keep going

to voicemail.

00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,637

Eddie:

00:12:28,672 --> 00:12:30,738

to the phone

00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,740

Just kidding. It's Eddie.

Go fuck yourself.

00:12:33,985 --> 00:12:35,281

Which one of you

ordered a pizza?

00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:37,283

No one order pizza.

What is this?

00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:41,452

Well, I got a cheesy Italian,

extra crispy just for you.

00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,323

I know those cheek bones

like they're me own!

00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,258

It's Eddie!

00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:46,754

Fucking Mother!

Kill him!

00:12:46,789 --> 00:12:48,965

Stone! Stone!

Fire!

00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,595

Aah!

00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:55,631

Airs!

00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:58,843

Cold Water!

Cold Water!

00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,504

Dirt!

00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,143

Fire!

00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:04,607

Wa--

00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:06,950

Airs.

00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,150

Now we can be together,

Planetina.

00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:10,987

I am an individual

character.

00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,516

I represent no group.

00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,616

Fire!

Aaah!

00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:15,453

Water! Dirt! Airs!

00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:18,654

Aah!

00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:21,261

Not good!

00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:24,968

Blib...

00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,299

Naga...

00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,465

Threve...

00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,467

Verillex...Gam!

00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,436

Happy Apocalypse!

00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:33,009

-Oh, my gaaah!

-This is awful!

00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,637

Why were we cheering?!

00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,611

Hello.

Got any agua around here?

00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,953

Mama's got to hydrate.

00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,383

Glove box.

00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:46,517

Oh, yeah.

00:13:47,355 --> 00:13:49,685

Rick is the coolest

guy ever.

00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,159

We're total soul mates.

00:13:51,194 --> 00:13:53,557

He's gonna show me the wonders

of the universe.

00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,328

Ha! Once we get to

the next planet,

00:13:55,363 --> 00:13:57,869

Grandpa Rick is gonna

ditch you, like, so fast.

00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,563

Oh, is that so?

00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:01,829

Uh-huh, nobody is tying

that guy down -- ever.

00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:04,799

The only chick seeing

the universe with Rick is me.

00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:07,769

Not if I keep Rick's

mouth full of these.

00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,310

Oh, my --

Oh, my God.

00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:12,708

Oh, yeah.

That's right, girlfriend.

00:14:12,743 --> 00:14:14,314

This is what

you're up against.

00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,316

Wars were fought

over these.

00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:19,924

They've ruined kings,

inspired presidents.

00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,927

A hundred songs

and nine national anthems

00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,522

have been written

about them.

00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:27,657

Best set of elbow-titties

on Morglutz.

00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:32,200

And now, thanks to Rick,

the best in the galaxy.

00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,696

You want me

to put them away?

00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,038

Please.

Sure.

00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:37,436

But only because

you're Rick's granddaughter.

00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:39,438

Daph? Daphne?

Where are ya, baby?

00:14:39,473 --> 00:14:41,209

Papa needs some more

elbow grease.

00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,871

Comin'! Ya might want to keep

your eyes on the road.

00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,511

It's about to get sloppy.

00:14:46,546 --> 00:14:48,183

Hello!

Hello.

00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:50,383

Ugh!

00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:52,616

Then I put my sunglasses on

and walked out

00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,749

like nothing happened.

00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,289

I'm finally free.

00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,719

All because of Morty.

00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:59,062

What a romantic story

about our son killing

00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:00,558

a room full of people.

00:15:00,593 --> 00:15:02,065

Your turn.

00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,396

Uh, seven.

00:15:03,431 --> 00:15:05,761

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven!

00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,038

Oyyy, don't

punch my lunch!

00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,237

A-ha! Eat it!

00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,568

I'm out of food cards.

00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:12,636

How 'bout I loan you

two quiche at 10%?

00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,638

That's so generous.

00:15:14,673 --> 00:15:16,244

My turn!

00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,707

Double sixes, baby!

00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,907

One, two, three...

So, what's next for Planetina?

00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:22,382

Well, now that I'm not

distracted by book signings

00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,088

and publicity stunts,

Morty and I can concentrate on

00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,320

more important things.

00:15:26,355 --> 00:15:27,123

Like school.

00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:28,487

Like moving in.

00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,291

Planetina doesn't have

a place to stay now,

00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:31,556

so I said she could

live with us.

00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:33,591

Holy shit. Morty, no.

I'm so full!

00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:34,999

What do you mean, no?

Whoo!

00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,264

Don't punch my lunch.

00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:37,430

I wouldn't be a burden,

Mrs. Smith.

00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,168

I only want to spend

as much time

00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,598

as possible

with your son.

00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,501

My son is 14, miss.

00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:44,503

I'm sorry, Morty.

You're way too young.

00:15:44,538 --> 00:15:46,769

But y-y-y-you were a teenager

when Dad got you pregnant.

00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:48,144

I was 17!

00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,937

That's at least

26 in boy years.

00:15:49,972 --> 00:15:52,984

I'm sure Planetina is very nice,

but when you're a teenager,

00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,480

love is fleeting, at best.

00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,780

You underestimate Morty.

He is a very mature young man.

00:15:57,815 --> 00:15:59,122

See, Mom? I told you!

00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,487

This is not happening.

End of discussion.

00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:03,786

Planetina, I think you

should leave, please.

00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,194

Okay, Mrs. Smith.

00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:07,999

Mom, I hate you!

00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,264

You suck!

Hey, now, it's only a game.

00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:10,298

Shut up!

Shut up!

00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,431

Okay.

My whole life,

00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,762

I've never fit in

anywhere.

00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,302

Everything I have to say

is always met with

00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:15,666

an eye roll as if

the act of hearing

00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,635

what I have to say is some

exhausting chore.

00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,802

Nobody in this family thinks

I can say or do anything right!

00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,112

I've been all over the universe,

met hundreds of people,

00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,939

and Planetina's the only one

I've ever met that makes me feel

00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:27,612

like I belong, and you just

kicked her out of our house!

00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,646

Morty, please --

00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:30,648

I will never

forgive you for this!

00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:35,389

and throw it far

00:16:35,424 --> 00:16:37,556

the morning star

00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:40,328

Morty! Morty, come back!

00:16:55,576 --> 00:17:01,085

with grace

00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,761

Get out!

All of you, get out of there!

00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,433

You're killing the planet!

00:17:19,468 --> 00:17:21,105

Your people didn't

get the votes.

00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,667

Leave, or I'll have

you arrested.

00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,537

It's you people who

should be arrested.

00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,573

Gutting the land, poisoning

the air your children breathe?!

00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,212

Can't you see what

you're doing?!

00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:31,412

Easy for you to say!

You can live how you want!

00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,711

We need the jobs.

Let's go, boys.

00:17:33,746 --> 00:17:35,119

She can't stop us.

00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,780

W-We'll get

them next time.

00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,122

There's no time left!

00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,190

Can't you hear

the Earth screaming?

00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,686

You filthy murderers!

00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,786

Planetina, stop it!

00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:46,889

There's only one solution

for Earth's pollution!

00:17:48,431 --> 00:17:50,233

Oh, my God, no.

00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,802

No!

00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,115

I can't believe I'm banging

my co-workers.

00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,413

And I'm the boss!

00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,910

This gay sex with

my Dad is terrific!

00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,417

What was I thinking?

00:18:09,452 --> 00:18:11,155

It'll all be over soon!

00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,256

Last chance to pee on me!

Anyone?!

00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,126

Okay, Grandpa,

the meteor's almost here.

00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,425

We can go now.

Ah, nah, we still got time.

00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,790

Well, then stop being in love

and start having fun.

00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:22,430

Ah, love's pretty fun, Summer.

Just give it a chance.

00:18:22,465 --> 00:18:23,926

It's not even

real love!

00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:26,434

Daphne's just with you

so she can keep surviving!

00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:28,832

Ah, the young --

so naive.

00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,675

Eww, gross.

00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,624

Congratulations, Ferkisians!

00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,428

Your apocalypse is aborted.

00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:55,089

And, Grandpa,

you and I can go home.

00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:56,299

Daphne,

you may come with.

00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,367

If you want to

and don't have to.

00:18:58,402 --> 00:18:59,665

I don't know what

you're getting at, Summer.

00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,305

Obviously,

Daphne wants to --

00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,638

Aw, you cold bitch.

Hello?

00:19:05,673 --> 00:19:07,343

Goodbye.

00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,137

Hey, she's the one

that saved the world!

00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:11,974

Now we got to go

to work tomorrow!

00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,219

You fucker!

00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,618

Sorry I messed

things up with Daphne.

00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,488

Just shut up.

I get it.

00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:23,051

Really? You're not mad?

I'm furious.

00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,659

But I have to admit,

it was pretty Rick of you

00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,859

to avert an apocalypse

in a tantrum of cynicism

00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,367

just to destroy

one dumb relationship.

00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:33,633

Still, sorry.

00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:36,031

Eh, I would've done

the same for you.

00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,132

Promise?

00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,133

Love you, Grandpa Rick.

00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:40,871

Don't make it weird.

00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:57,360

Please go.

I-I-I can't see you anymore.

00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:59,494

Don't you even want to try

to make it work?

00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:00,495

We were so close.

00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,563

You murdered 300 people.

00:20:02,598 --> 00:20:03,828

And you murdered

my kids.

00:20:03,863 --> 00:20:06,193

They were gonna

sell you away forever.

00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:07,568

Eddie was

trying to kill me!

00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:09,570

Th-Those miners

were innocent.

00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,837

Those innocent miners voted men

into power to protect

00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:14,542

their precious jobs

so they can buy more

00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:16,742

plastic garbage and eat

the corpses of tortured animals.

00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,612

The system

is broken, Morty.

00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:22,209

This is the only way

I can save Earth,

00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:23,782

the only way

I can save you.

00:20:23,817 --> 00:20:26,851

If that's the only way,

I-I don't want to be saved.

00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,215

Please, go.

00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,526

But...I love you.

00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,957

I-I-I can't --

I-I can't love you.

00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,464

I-I just can't.

00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,531

Please understand.

00:20:36,566 --> 00:20:38,027

No.

00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:42,273

I'll go, but don't you dare

ask me to understand.

00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:46,068

Planetina,

I-I'm so sorry.

00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:48,070

Fuck you.

00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,489

Morty?

Are you all right?

00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,821

She's gone, Mom!

She's gone!

00:21:02,856 --> 00:21:04,922

I loved her so much!

00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:06,495

I know you did, honey.

00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:08,992

Shh, Mommy's here.

00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:16,934

the morning star

00:21:29,487 --> 00:21:34,523

with grace

00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,446

Good morning.

00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,141

'Morning.

00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:00,307

Slow day, huh?

00:22:00,342 --> 00:22:01,649

Yep.

00:22:01,684 --> 00:22:03,948

Probably because

everybody thought

00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:08,821

the world wouldn't be,

you know, like, here today.

00:22:08,856 --> 00:22:10,658

Mm-hmm.

Mom in back?

00:22:10,693 --> 00:22:12,187

Mom's not talking to us.

00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,496

Because we had sex?

00:22:13,531 --> 00:22:15,190

Yes.

Uh, yeah.

00:22:15,225 --> 00:22:17,500

That makes sense.

00:22:17,535 --> 00:22:20,965

Happy birthday,

by the way.

00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,339

Chicks are gonna be up

all up in our biz

00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,044

when they see us wearing these

Rick and Morty custom tees.

00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,540

I bet we could

sell these.

00:00:13,575 --> 00:00:14,838

Hells yeah.

I fuckin' love merch!

00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:16,004

[ Thunder crashes ]

Aah!

00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,346

The rain! It -- It burns!

Oh, shit.

00:00:17,381 --> 00:00:18,380

Quick, Morty,

protect the shirts!

00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,008

The door!

Open the door!

00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,350

Rick!

Is it --

00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:22,648

Morty,

will ya stop tryna--

00:00:22,683 --> 00:00:24,089

[ Lock clicks ]

Okay, there, it's open.

00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,014

Jesus.

My skin is on fire.

00:00:26,049 --> 00:00:27,389

W-Why is the rain

doing that?

00:00:27,424 --> 00:00:30,425

[ Laughing evilly ]

My acid rain will destroy

00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:34,693

all things green and natural

or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.

00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:35,826

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,102

[ People screaming ]

00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,237

Huh. Well, that guy's

easy to please.

00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,998

Your acid rain is

an acid pain...

00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,868

in the butt, Diesel Weasel!

00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:46,276

Yikes.

Wow.

00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:47,871

Who's the chick in need

of a dialogue pass?

00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,676

First order of business

is to clean up this acid rain

00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,546

with a little wind!

00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:53,580

Yoww!

00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,351

Ow! Ow, my leg!

00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:56,583

Wow.

00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:59,091

And now an elemental punch

that's too hot to handle!

00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,587

Wa-kah!

00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:01,852

Oh, wow.

00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,051

Curse you, Planetina!

00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,130

I'll get you next slime!

00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,725

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,728

There's only one solution

for Earth's pollution -- you!

00:01:09,763 --> 00:01:10,696

[ Ting! ]

00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,401

Wow.

Morty, if you say "wow"

00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:13,732

one more time,

I swear to fucking God...

00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,470

Are you crazy, Rick?

She's right there!

00:01:15,505 --> 00:01:17,142

Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty.

It's 8% of the Earth.

00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,638

We'll need every atom.

00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:21,740

Thanks!

Every litter-bit helps!

00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:23,247

[ Gasps ] Your problem!

00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:24,611

Excuse me?

S-Sorry.

00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,119

I-I-I wanted to say,

"N-No problem, you're welcome,"

00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,154

a-a-and it came out

"your problem."

00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,419

[ Chuckles ]

I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.

00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:33,048

You're not an idiot.

You recycled.

00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:35,127

I-I'm Morty.

Nice to meet you, Morty.

00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,294

I'm Planetina, and I hope you

have a wonderful day.

00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,394

[ Horn honks ]

Rick: Hey!

00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:39,560

The fuck we doin' here?

00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,628

Uhh, y-y-you

like soft serve?

00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:42,959

There's a shop

around the bend.

00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:44,730

Oh, I don't eat

ice cream.

00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:47,095

Veal is a product of

the dairy industry.

00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,305

Oh, that's not good.

00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,504

No, it is not.

[ Horn honks ]

00:01:49,539 --> 00:01:52,067

Oh, my God!

Come on! Let's go!

00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,102

I know a place that serves

cruelty-free doughnuts.

00:01:54,137 --> 00:01:56,280

If you'd like, I could

fly you and your friend there

00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,479

easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,613

Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.

00:01:59,648 --> 00:02:02,484

He -- He said he can't come.

Let's go!

00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:06,620

What the fuck

was that shit?

00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:15,761

♪♪

00:02:15,796 --> 00:02:24,869

♪♪

00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:34,010

♪♪

00:02:34,045 --> 00:02:35,913

[ Electricity crackling ]

00:02:37,884 --> 00:02:39,653

Planetina:

The Earth is in danger!

00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,051

Pollution and waste

are ruining our planet.

00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,625

Mother Nature has enlisted

the help of four young adults

00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,858

from each major ethnicity --

and when things look bad,

00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:49,663

and I mean really bad --

they combine the powers

00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:52,303

of their elemental rings

to create me!

00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,372

Planetina,

conservationist super person!

00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,066

There's only one solution...

00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,870

for Earth's pollution -- you!

00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:00,069

P-Pretty cool, huh?

00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,346

I-I can't believe I actually

hung out with Planetina.

00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,810

How old is this woman?

She looks very mature.

00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,713

She's a sentient amalgam

of natural elements,

00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,649

so I don't believe age

applies to her.

00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:10,321

Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me

the day before his

00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,686

hella-big pool party

and my little brother's

00:03:12,721 --> 00:03:14,391

dating a phase four

super hero.

00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:16,228

Just shoot me in the fucking

head until I die.

00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,856

Hey, hey, none of that,

Summerfest.

00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:19,594

Look what you're doing to your

sister, you piece of shit.

00:03:19,629 --> 00:03:20,991

Is it weird that she hasn't

texted me yet?

00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,366

Yes.

No.

00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,895

What if I told you that

your Grandpa Rick's

00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:25,534

got something up his sleeve

that's so Rick-diculous

00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:26,766

that it's gonna make you

forget all about

00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,438

that stupid asshole

that dumped you?

00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:30,242

[ Plates clatter ]

Hey, my egg plate!

00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,574

Morglutz, Slartivart,

and Ferkus 9 --

00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,071

three planets are all ending

in a delayed succession

00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:36,545

of cataclysmic events.

00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,206

A jam like this comes around

only once in a lifetime.

00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,746

Morglutz's sun is

going supernova,

00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:41,583

Slartivart is falling

into a black hole,

00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,519

and Ferkus 9 is getting

"Deep Impact"-ed

00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:44,883

by an asteroid.

00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,555

They're all having a major,

final blow out --

00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:48,458

and I'm gonna drug it up

and suck it up before each one

00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,592

goes ka-blamo,

and I'm taking

00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:51,890

my favorite grandkid

along with me!

00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:53,958

Hells yeah.

10 seconds on Morglutz,

00:03:53,993 --> 00:03:55,564

and you'll be up to your

neck in I-could-give-two-

00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:57,126

shits-about-

what's-his-ass.

00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:58,226

And also herpes.

00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,271

Um...

Oh, my God,

00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,404

thank you,

Grandpa Rick!

00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:01,801

I'm gonna

go pack my rollie.

00:04:01,836 --> 00:04:03,902

Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given

you my approval yet.

00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:05,233

[ Door closes ]

Summer, approval

00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,575

is yet to be given here!

00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:08,137

[ Phone chimes ]

There's a huge forest fire

00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:09,578

like 200 miles from here!

00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,547

This is amazing!

Planetina's bound to be there.

00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:13,384

Mom, I-I need the credit card

to buy a train ticket.

00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,649

Absolutely not.

00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:16,486

Mom, this is the biggest

wildfire of the year!

00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,817

You're not going!

You're not going!

00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:18,917

Da fuck I'm not.

00:04:18,952 --> 00:04:20,424

Last time I checked,

this wasn't Russia.

00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,151

It's not Russia, Jerry.

My heart is broken,

00:04:22,186 --> 00:04:23,790

and I deserve to let loose,

00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,221

and if you don't like it,

you can suck my bigger tit.

00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:27,629

Adios, C-words.

00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:28,993

Morty, I don't want you

getting hurt.

00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,830

Please, think this over.

I don't want to think!

00:04:30,865 --> 00:04:32,601

I want to see

a girl I like.

00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,932

If you don't want to

help me,

00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,934

I'll find my own goddamn way

to the wildfire.

00:04:35,969 --> 00:04:37,573

[ Door slams ]

00:04:37,608 --> 00:04:40,004

[ Door slamming ]

00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,809

I'll get the wine.

Thank you.

00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:45,581

The Governor has implemented

a mandatory evacuation.

00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,144

Abandon all hope, people!

Nothing will stop this fire.

00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:49,684

Nothing!

[ Air whooshing ]

00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:52,588

Scratch that! Here's Planetina,

Savioress of Earth!

00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,623

Yeeouch!

Talk about a hot foot.

00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:58,154

Better put this wildfire on ice!

00:04:58,662 --> 00:04:59,859

Morty: Come here, little buddy.

00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,993

Come on, come on, come on,

I gotcha.

00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,765

Morty?! What are you

doing here?

00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,470

Oh, hey!

Y-You're here, too?

00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:08,340

Yeah, I heard about

the wildfire back home,

00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,803

and, you know, I stopped

by to lend a hand.

00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:12,036

H-Here you go, fella.

All safe now.

00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,478

[ Chuckles ] Ahh, rabbits --

al-always hopping --

00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,644

Never stoppin'.

00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:17,481

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Y-Yeah.

00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,944

S-So it was, uh,

great hanging --

00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,550

hanging out

the other day.

00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,486

I-I was getting kind of a --

I mean I-I got kind of

00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:23,652

a p-positive vibe.

00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,390

Oh, good.

I was putting one out.

00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,523

I-I really like you.

00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,821

Holy shit.

00:05:27,856 --> 00:05:29,988

I-I-I mean, uh, well,

oh, all right.

00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:31,858

Next step, you w-want to

go out again?

00:05:31,893 --> 00:05:35,697

I do! But, uh, Morty,

I have kids.

00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,996

Oh, I-I-I'll get along

with them. I'm-I'm a kid.

00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:40,163

No, I mean the four kids

that bring me into existence

00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:42,066

by combining the power

of their elemental rings

00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:44,002

so I can save Earth

from ecological disasters.

00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:46,202

Oh, them!

No, I-I know about them.

00:05:46,237 --> 00:05:47,412

I-I like them.

00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,513

Oh, good.

Well, here they are now.

00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:51,174

Hey, buddy, you

want an autograph?

00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,516

That's 20 bucks a pop.

00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,177

No, Eddie,

he's my friend.

00:05:54,212 --> 00:05:56,817

Morty, these are my kids,

The Tina-Teers.

00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:57,851

Oh, hey.

00:05:57,886 --> 00:05:59,314

Tina, girl,

have you gained weight?

00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,151

Uh, well, I had a plant-based

doughnut yesterday.

00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,350

Just a half.

00:06:02,385 --> 00:06:04,528

Sugar is worst thing

for figure, darling.

00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,024

You want to be ugly?

00:06:06,059 --> 00:06:07,861

Heh, I-I thought

they'd be younger.

00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,830

They've been manifesting me

since the mid-'90s.

00:06:09,865 --> 00:06:12,195

A lot has changed

since then.

00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,603

This is freaking

you out, huh?

00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:15,572

It is a lot

to take in.

00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:16,903

I understand.

00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:19,235

Well, I guess

I'd better go.

00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:20,676

See you around.

00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:22,337

Hi-de-ho, TV 58!

00:06:22,372 --> 00:06:23,679

Planetina,

you single-handily saved

00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,911

a National Forest

with ease.

00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,715

I do what I can,

but I can't do it alone!

00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,453

And who's your friend

over there?

00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,949

Oh!

This is Morty Smith.

00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:32,754

He traveled 200 miles just

to save a rabbit from the fire.

00:06:32,789 --> 00:06:34,217

He's a very special guy.

00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,350

So, are you two dating?

00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,462

Oh, um, w-- I-I-I --

00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,058

Yes, we are.

00:06:40,093 --> 00:06:41,565

[ '80s pop music plays ]

00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,028

Fuck love.

Fuck love.

00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:44,392

All right, time

to set the rules.

00:06:44,427 --> 00:06:45,393

Lay it on me.

No whining.

00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:46,394

Done.

No crying.

00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:47,769

As if.

00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,397

And absolutely, positively

no getting attached.

00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:52,103

We're here to smash max ass --

quantity over quality.

00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:53,544

Deal?

Deal!

00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,579

I'm gonna eat so much ass,

you're gonna shit.

00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,240

Check this out. This is gonna

be me at the party --

00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:58,450

b-b-laaaah!

00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,946

B-b-blaaaah!

Oh, is that another ass?

00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,915

Don't mind if

I-- b-b-blaaaah!

00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,753

Ho-ho! This'll be me across

the room -- "Excuse me, miss.

00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,458

It appears that you have

an uneaten ass.

00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,416

Allow me --

lalalalalaaah!

00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:09,494

Lalalalalaaah!

B-b-blaaaah!

00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,529

B-b-blaaaah!

00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:15,929

Whoo!

Fucking super nova party!

00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:17,766

Love is a lie!

Hack the planet!

00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:19,097

The world's ending,

and for some reason,

00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:21,231

I want to die with you

more than anyone else.

00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,298

[ Giggles ] Wow!

00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,508

Yo, Rick, don't look now,

00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,939

but someone's giving you

the big eye.

00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:27,578

[ Vomiting ]

00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,942

'Scuse me.

I got to see a man about

00:07:28,977 --> 00:07:31,516

a horse I'd rather

have sex with.

00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,649

Aah!

00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:33,980

Hello.

I'm Rick.

00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:36,488

Hey. So, the world's ending,

and for some reason,

00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,446

I want to die with you

more than anyone else.

00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:39,590

Hello.

00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,624

Summer:

Have fun, Grandpa Rick!

00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,956

No commitments!

00:07:42,991 --> 00:07:47,631

♪ I flew to you on an airplane ♪

00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,963

[ Keys tapping ]

00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:56,134

♪ I was afraid that

you gave me strength ♪

00:07:56,169 --> 00:08:02,514

♪ Forever, birds were

soul twin loves ♪

00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,472

♪ Baby, come back to me ♪

00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:07,684

♪ Baby, come back like it was ♪

00:08:08,082 --> 00:08:09,147

Surprise!

00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:10,181

What are you doing here?

00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,479

Mmm!

00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,723

I told my kids I went out

to recycle batteries.

00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,121

All kidding aside,

everyone should discard

00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:19,795

used batteries at

proper disposal centers

00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,127

instead of tossing them into

a regular waste bin.

00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,029

Thanks for the tip.

00:08:23,064 --> 00:08:26,703

♪ Flowers never last forever ♪

00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,200

♪ But we can make it

past forever ♪

00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,234

[ Dolphins squeaks ]

00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:31,675

♪ Baby, come home to me ♪

00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:34,942

♪ Baby, you're home with me ♪

00:08:36,044 --> 00:08:38,044

[ Cheering ]

00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:41,245

Solus is collapsing

in five zip-zops.

00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,587

If we time it right,

00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,347

we can skeet together

as the sun explodes.

00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,722

Sounds ah-mazing.

00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:47,823

Say, I think I left

my purse back at the bar.

00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,594

Can both of you go

get it for me?

00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,728

Anything for you,

Mrs. Obama.

00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,191

Time to ghost,

Grandpa Rick.

00:08:53,226 --> 00:08:55,358

Rick: Righty-right.

Meet me at the car.

00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,932

One of these has to be hers.

Where'd she go?

00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,527

I guess we'll have to

start without her.

00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:00,671

Oh, her loss.

00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,871

B-b-blaaaaaaaaah!

00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:06,072

Whoo! Planet number two,

let's do it!

00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,206

Sorry, I took so long.

I had to ditch some clingers.

00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,538

[ Slurring ] Let's do it.

Up the butt, y'all.

00:09:10,573 --> 00:09:11,913

Geez, you okay to drive?

00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:12,749

Shiii!

00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,883

'Course, I-I-I'm mable.

00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:17,149

Bu[burps]ckle up.

00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:20,889

[ Crashing ]

00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,253

Yeah!

00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,520

Whoo!

The best week of my life!

00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:26,554

Daphne: Hello.

00:09:26,589 --> 00:09:27,863

What was that?

Nothin'.

00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,129

Who wants to see

the most radadelic

00:09:30,164 --> 00:09:31,735

lady-version

of a super hero?

00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:32,736

[ Cheering ]

00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,463

Fire!

Water!

00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,070

Air!

And Dirt!

00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:40,238

[ Crowd gasps ]

00:09:40,273 --> 00:09:42,471

Oh, no, the convention.

Morty, wake up!

00:09:42,506 --> 00:09:43,747

We overslept.

What's happening?

00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:44,979

Hey, there's a little

boy on her!

00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:46,783

Oh, d-d-drop

the curtain!

00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:47,784

There is no curtain!

00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,917

Idiots, zap her away!

00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:50,281

No, no, no.

Wait, I-I --

00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:51,579

Whoa!

Security!

00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:52,987

What did you do?

B-Bring her back!

00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,758

No! Let me go!

Sorry, folks.

00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,419

Planetina will be back

in a moment.

00:09:56,454 --> 00:10:00,588

Until then, who wants a limited

edition Funko for only $50?

00:10:00,623 --> 00:10:01,732

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,492

This is very bad.

00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,669

We are about

to close deal.

00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,396

We cannot

afford controversy.

00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,639

Don't you worry.

00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,872

I know how ta deal with

this Morty kid.

00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,173

[ Cheering ]

00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,242

Hey, a bunch of us

are going over to Hibler's place

00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:18,606

to shoot ourselves.

00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,245

Y-You want to come with?

00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,445

Sorry, but no man's tying down

Sum-Sum tonight.

00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,446

Hit the dicks.

00:10:23,481 --> 00:10:24,656

Your loss, honey.

00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,351

You could have

had allllllll this.

00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:28,792

[ Sobs ]

00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,960

Hey, check it out!

There's old people dancing!

00:10:31,995 --> 00:10:34,094

[ Dance music plays ]

00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:40,628

♪♪

00:10:40,663 --> 00:10:42,465

Damn, girl.

Your moves is tight.

00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,708

Hello.

Summer: Rick!

00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,304

What the WTF is that

Morglutzian doing here?

00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:48,141

Morglutzian? She's --

She's not Morglutzian.

00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:50,506

She's the only blue person

here without three eyes!

00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,377

Okay, fine. B-Busted.

Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.

00:10:53,412 --> 00:10:55,115

Daphne, this is Summer,

my granddaughter.

00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,051

Granddaughter?

Hello.

00:10:57,086 --> 00:10:58,646

Daphne heard about

our little party crawl,

00:10:58,681 --> 00:10:59,823

and I told her

she could come with.

00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,989

I-I-In the trunk.

00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,518

What in the actual

fuck, Rick?

00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,893

We said no commitments!

00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:06,797

This was to be our

Apocalypse Party-crawl!

00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,326

You broke the rules!

00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:10,229

Squares follow rules, Summer.

Daphne's down to freak.

00:11:10,264 --> 00:11:12,704

She's up for any [burps] sick,

nasty thing I want to do.

00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,497

Hello.

Oh, yeah, baby.

00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:16,708

[ Both moaning ]

00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,843

All right, fellas,

take five.

00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,845

He ain't gonna give me

any trouble.

00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,176

[ Lock clicks ]

Morty: Where's Planetina?

00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:25,013

Don't you worry about her.

I want to see her!

00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:27,510

Planetina's got a lot of

responsibilities.

00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,017

People depend on her.

00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,480

And you, my friend,

00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,416

are a distraction

we can't afford right now.

00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,088

She's just a product

to you, isn't she?

00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,925

Something to make

money off of.

00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,355

W-Well, Planetina's

more than that.

00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:39,258

She's a brilliant,

living thing, and I love her.

00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:42,360

Oh, you love her?

Well, guess what.

00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:43,768

We own her.

00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,165

But not for long,

of course.

00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,695

We're gonna sell her

to some Arab overseas.

00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,103

Fire.

00:11:49,138 --> 00:11:50,907

As for you,

maybe she won't

00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:53,503

love you so much if you

ain't so pretty no more.

00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,537

Stop! Yah!

00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:55,747

Ow!

00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,243

Y-You want to fuck with me?

Do you?

00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,278

Stupid fuckin'

shit hole!

00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,279

Aaaaaah!

00:12:00,314 --> 00:12:01,412

[ Grunts ]

00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:03,711

Guard: Boss, what's happening?

Let us in!

00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:04,756

Aah!

00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,417

[ Spits ] Fire!

00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:07,792

[ Screaming ]

00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,157

Fire!

00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,721

Can we conclude our business?

00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,261

I'm eager to celebrate

my purchase of

00:12:15,296 --> 00:12:17,769

Planetina over dinner,

and these infant seals

00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,067

aren't getting any younger.

00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,695

Momentarily, comrade.

00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,906

Soon, our partner

will return.

00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:25,139

Ugh! What is taking

Eddie so long?

00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,635

His phone keep going

to voicemail.

00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,637

Eddie:

♪ Start leaving a message ♪

00:12:28,672 --> 00:12:30,738

♪ I can't make it

to the phone ♪

00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,740

Just kidding. It's Eddie.

Go fuck yourself.

00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:33,950

[ Voicemail beeps ]

00:12:33,985 --> 00:12:35,281

Which one of you

ordered a pizza?

00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:37,283

No one order pizza.

What is this?

00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:41,452

Well, I got a cheesy Italian,

extra crispy just for you.

00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,323

I know those cheek bones

like they're me own!

00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,258

It's Eddie!

00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:46,754

Fucking Mother!

Kill him!

00:12:46,789 --> 00:12:48,965

Stone! Stone!

Fire!

00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,595

Aah!

00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:55,631

Airs!

00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:56,764

[ Air whooshing ]

00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:58,843

Cold Water!

Cold Water!

00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,504

Dirt!

00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,143

Fire!

00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:04,607

Wa--

00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:05,740

[ Screaming ]

00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:06,950

Airs.

00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,150

Now we can be together,

Planetina.

00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:10,987

I am an individual

character.

00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,516

I represent no group.

00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,616

Fire!

Aaah!

00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:15,453

Water! Dirt! Airs!

00:13:15,488 --> 00:13:17,620

[ Screaming ]

00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:18,654

Aah!

00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:21,261

Not good!

00:13:21,296 --> 00:13:23,494

[ Baby seals growling, barking ]

00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:24,968

Blib...

00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,299

Naga...

00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,465

Threve...

00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,467

Verillex...Gam!

00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,436

Happy Apocalypse!

00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:33,009

-Oh, my gaaah!

-This is awful!

00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,637

Why were we cheering?!

00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:36,507

[ Rumbling ]

00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,611

Hello.

Got any agua around here?

00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,953

Mama's got to hydrate.

00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,383

Glove box.

00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:46,517

Oh, yeah.

00:13:47,355 --> 00:13:49,685

Rick is the coolest

guy ever.

00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,159

We're total soul mates.

00:13:51,194 --> 00:13:53,557

He's gonna show me the wonders

of the universe.

00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,328

Ha! Once we get to

the next planet,

00:13:55,363 --> 00:13:57,869

Grandpa Rick is gonna

ditch you, like, so fast.

00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,563

Oh, is that so?

00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:01,829

Uh-huh, nobody is tying

that guy down -- ever.

00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:04,799

The only chick seeing

the universe with Rick is me.

00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:07,769

Not if I keep Rick's

mouth full of these.

00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,310

Oh, my --

Oh, my God.

00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:12,708

Oh, yeah.

That's right, girlfriend.

00:14:12,743 --> 00:14:14,314

This is what

you're up against.

00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,316

Wars were fought

over these.

00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:19,924

They've ruined kings,

inspired presidents.

00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,927

A hundred songs

and nine national anthems

00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,522

have been written

about them.

00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:27,657

Best set of elbow-titties

on Morglutz.

00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:32,200

And now, thanks to Rick,

the best in the galaxy.

00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,696

You want me

to put them away?

00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,038

Please.

Sure.

00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:37,436

But only because

you're Rick's granddaughter.

00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:39,438

Daph? Daphne?

Where are ya, baby?

00:14:39,473 --> 00:14:41,209

Papa needs some more

elbow grease.

00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,871

Comin'! Ya might want to keep

your eyes on the road.

00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,511

It's about to get sloppy.

00:14:46,546 --> 00:14:48,183

Hello!

Hello.

00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:50,383

Ugh!

[ Loud moaning, bed creaking ]

00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:52,616

Then I put my sunglasses on

and walked out

00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,749

like nothing happened.

00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,289

I'm finally free.

00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,719

All because of Morty.

00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:59,062

What a romantic story

about our son killing

00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:00,558

a room full of people.

00:15:00,593 --> 00:15:02,065

Your turn.

00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,396

Uh, seven.

00:15:03,431 --> 00:15:05,761

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven!

00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,038

Oyyy, don't

punch my lunch!

00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,237

A-ha! Eat it!

00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,568

I'm out of food cards.

00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:12,636

How 'bout I loan you

two quiche at 10%?

00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,638

That's so generous.

00:15:14,673 --> 00:15:16,244

My turn!

00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,707

Double sixes, baby!

00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,907

One, two, three...

So, what's next for Planetina?

00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:22,382

Well, now that I'm not

distracted by book signings

00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,088

and publicity stunts,

Morty and I can concentrate on

00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,320

more important things.

00:15:26,355 --> 00:15:27,123

Like school.

00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:28,487

Like moving in.

00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,291

Planetina doesn't have

a place to stay now,

00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:31,556

so I said she could

live with us.

00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:33,591

Holy shit. Morty, no.

I'm so full!

00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:34,999

What do you mean, no?

Whoo!

00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,264

Don't punch my lunch.

[ Laughs ]

00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:37,430

I wouldn't be a burden,

Mrs. Smith.

00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,168

I only want to spend

as much time

00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,598

as possible

with your son.

00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,501

My son is 14, miss.

00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:44,503

I'm sorry, Morty.

You're way too young.

00:15:44,538 --> 00:15:46,769

But y-y-y-you were a teenager

when Dad got you pregnant.

00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:48,144

I was 17!

00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,937

That's at least

26 in boy years.

00:15:49,972 --> 00:15:52,984

I'm sure Planetina is very nice,

but when you're a teenager,

00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,480

love is fleeting, at best.

00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,780

You underestimate Morty.

He is a very mature young man.

00:15:57,815 --> 00:15:59,122

See, Mom? I told you!

00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,487

This is not happening.

End of discussion.

00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:03,786

Planetina, I think you

should leave, please.

00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,194

Okay, Mrs. Smith.

00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:06,690

Oh, no! [ Belches ]

00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:07,999

Mom, I hate you!

00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,264

You suck!

Hey, now, it's only a game.

00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:10,298

Shut up!

Shut up!

00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,431

Okay.

My whole life,

00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,762

I've never fit in

anywhere.

00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,302

Everything I have to say

is always met with

00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:15,666

an eye roll as if

the act of hearing

00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,635

what I have to say is some

exhausting chore.

00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,802

Nobody in this family thinks

I can say or do anything right!

00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,112

I've been all over the universe,

met hundreds of people,

00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,939

and Planetina's the only one

I've ever met that makes me feel

00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:27,612

like I belong, and you just

kicked her out of our house!

00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,646

Morty, please --

00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:30,648

I will never

forgive you for this!

00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:35,389

♪ Get the sword

and throw it far ♪

00:16:35,424 --> 00:16:37,556

♪ Let it shine under

the morning star ♪

00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:40,328

Morty! Morty, come back!

[ Air whooshing ]

00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:44,860

♪ Who are you? ♪

00:16:44,895 --> 00:16:48,864

♪ Who am I to you? ♪

00:16:48,899 --> 00:16:51,075

♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪

00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,638

[ Lightning crackling ]

00:16:53,673 --> 00:16:55,541

♪♪

00:16:55,576 --> 00:17:01,085

♪ Fallen from the sky

with grace ♪

00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:06,717

♪ Into your arms race ♪

00:17:06,752 --> 00:17:15,495

♪♪

00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,761

Get out!

All of you, get out of there!

00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,433

You're killing the planet!

00:17:19,468 --> 00:17:21,105

Your people didn't

get the votes.

00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,667

Leave, or I'll have

you arrested.

00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,537

It's you people who

should be arrested.

00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,573

Gutting the land, poisoning

the air your children breathe?!

00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,212

Can't you see what

you're doing?!

00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:31,412

Easy for you to say!

You can live how you want!

00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,711

We need the jobs.

Let's go, boys.

00:17:33,746 --> 00:17:35,119

She can't stop us.

00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,780

W-We'll get

them next time.

00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,122

There's no time left!

00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,190

Can't you hear

the Earth screaming?

00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,686

You filthy murderers!

00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,786

Planetina, stop it!

00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:46,889

There's only one solution

for Earth's pollution!

00:17:46,924 --> 00:17:48,396

[ Screaming ]

00:17:48,431 --> 00:17:50,233

Oh, my God, no.

00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:53,929

♪ Who am I to you? ♪

00:17:53,964 --> 00:17:56,899

♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪

00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,802

No!

00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,115

I can't believe I'm banging

my co-workers.

00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,413

And I'm the boss!

00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,910

This gay sex with

my Dad is terrific!

00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,417

What was I thinking?

00:18:09,452 --> 00:18:11,155

It'll all be over soon!

00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,256

Last chance to pee on me!

Anyone?!

00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,126

Okay, Grandpa,

the meteor's almost here.

00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,425

We can go now.

Ah, nah, we still got time.

00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,790

Well, then stop being in love

and start having fun.

00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:22,430

Ah, love's pretty fun, Summer.

Just give it a chance.

00:18:22,465 --> 00:18:23,926

It's not even

real love!

00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:26,434

Daphne's just with you

so she can keep surviving!

00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:28,832

Ah, the young --

so naive.

00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:31,098

[ Footsteps squishing ]

00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,770

[ Squishing ]

00:18:32,805 --> 00:18:34,937

[ Groans ]

00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,675

Eww, gross.

00:18:37,711 --> 00:18:39,183

[ Engine starts ]

00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,218

[ Windshield squeaking ]

00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,718

[ Explosion ]

00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,624

Congratulations, Ferkisians!

00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,428

Your apocalypse is aborted.

00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:55,089

And, Grandpa,

you and I can go home.

00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:56,299

Daphne,

you may come with.

00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,367

If you want to

and don't have to.

00:18:58,402 --> 00:18:59,665

I don't know what

you're getting at, Summer.

00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,305

Obviously,

Daphne wants to --

00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,638

Aw, you cold bitch.

Hello?

00:19:05,673 --> 00:19:07,343

Goodbye.

00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,137

Hey, she's the one

that saved the world!

00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:11,974

Now we got to go

to work tomorrow!

00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,844

[ All booing ]

00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,219

You fucker!

00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,618

Sorry I messed

things up with Daphne.

00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,488

Just shut up.

I get it.

00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:23,051

Really? You're not mad?

I'm furious.

00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,659

But I have to admit,

it was pretty Rick of you

00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,859

to avert an apocalypse

in a tantrum of cynicism

00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,367

just to destroy

one dumb relationship.

00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:33,633

Still, sorry.

00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:36,031

Eh, I would've done

the same for you.

00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,132

Promise?

00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,133

Love you, Grandpa Rick.

00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:40,871

Don't make it weird.

00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:45,447

[ Phone chimes ]

00:19:47,946 --> 00:19:49,583

[ Keys tapping ]

00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,851

[ Phone chimes ]

00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:57,360

Please go.

I-I-I can't see you anymore.

00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:59,494

Don't you even want to try

to make it work?

00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:00,495

We were so close.

00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,563

You murdered 300 people.

00:20:02,598 --> 00:20:03,828

And you murdered

my kids.

00:20:03,863 --> 00:20:06,193

They were gonna

sell you away forever.

00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:07,568

Eddie was

trying to kill me!

00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:09,570

Th-Those miners

were innocent.

00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,837

Those innocent miners voted men

into power to protect

00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:14,542

their precious jobs

so they can buy more

00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:16,742

plastic garbage and eat

the corpses of tortured animals.

00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,612

The system

is broken, Morty.

00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:22,209

This is the only way

I can save Earth,

00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:23,782

the only way

I can save you.

00:20:23,817 --> 00:20:26,851

If that's the only way,

I-I don't want to be saved.

00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,215

Please, go.

00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,526

But...I love you.

00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,957

I-I-I can't --

I-I can't love you.

00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,464

I-I just can't.

00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,531

Please understand.

00:20:36,566 --> 00:20:38,027

No.

[ Sniffles ]

00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:42,273

I'll go, but don't you dare

ask me to understand.

00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:46,068

Planetina,

I-I'm so sorry.

00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:48,070

Fuck you.

00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,489

Morty?

Are you all right?

00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,821

She's gone, Mom!

She's gone!

00:21:02,856 --> 00:21:04,922

[ Sobs ]

I loved her so much!

00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:06,495

I know you did, honey.

00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:08,992

[ Crying ]

Shh, Mommy's here.

00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:16,934

♪ Let it shine under

the morning star ♪

00:21:16,969 --> 00:21:18,265

♪ Who are you? ♪

00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,543

♪ Who am I to you? ♪

00:21:22,711 --> 00:21:26,977

♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪

00:21:29,487 --> 00:21:34,523

♪ Fallen from the sky

with grace ♪

00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,694

♪ Into your arms ♪

00:21:49,672 --> 00:21:51,837

[ Door bells jingle ]

00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:55,005

[ Clears throat ]

00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,446

Good morning.

00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,141

'Morning.

00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:00,307

Slow day, huh?

00:22:00,342 --> 00:22:01,649

Yep.

00:22:01,684 --> 00:22:03,948

Probably because

everybody thought

00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:08,821

the world wouldn't be,

you know, like, here today.

00:22:08,856 --> 00:22:10,658

Mm-hmm.

Mom in back?

00:22:10,693 --> 00:22:12,187

Mom's not talking to us.

00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,496

Because we had sex?

00:22:13,531 --> 00:22:15,190

Yes.

Uh, yeah.

00:22:15,225 --> 00:22:17,500

That makes sense.

00:22:17,535 --> 00:22:20,965

Happy birthday,

by the way.

00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,736

[ Sighs ]

00:00:08,462 --> 00:00:09,839

Все телки будут наши

00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,924

благодаря футболкам «Рик и Морти».

00:00:12,007 --> 00:00:13,175

Можно ими банчить!

00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:14,927

О да! Обожаю фирменный шмот!

00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:16,887

- Дождь! Жжет!

- Чёрт.

00:00:16,971 --> 00:00:18,347

Морти, укрой футболки!

00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,641

Дверь! Открой дверь! Рик!

00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:23,561

Морти, да хватит уже… Всё, открыто.

00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,855

- Боже.

- Моя кожа вся горит.

00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,356

Что это за дождь такой?

00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:32,319

Мой кислотный дождь

уничтожит всё натуральное,

00:00:32,403 --> 00:00:34,738

не будь я Дизельный Хорек.

00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:39,243

Нормалёк он себя нарёк.

00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:44,915

Кислотный дождик твой —

один геморрой, Дизельный Хорек!

00:00:44,999 --> 00:00:47,418

Ой. Что за тёлка с театральными речами?

00:00:47,543 --> 00:00:50,754

Первым делом

надо бы убрать всю эту кислоту

00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:52,256

небольшим ветерком!

00:00:53,507 --> 00:00:55,968

- Ой! Моя нога!

- Ого.

00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:58,971

А теперь — неудержимый удар стихии!

00:01:00,556 --> 00:01:01,599

Ого.

00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:05,102

Чтоб тебя, Планетина!

Ты еще узнаешь мою слизь!

00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:10,024

Против загрязнения

есть лишь одно решение — ты!

00:01:10,608 --> 00:01:13,360

- Ого.

- Хватит огокать. Иначе, клянусь богом…

00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:16,197

- Она же перед нами!

- Да, собирай алюминий.

00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,865

Земле нужен каждый атом.

00:01:19,783 --> 00:01:22,244

Спасибо! Каждый может помочь!

00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:23,162

Твои проблемы.

00:01:23,245 --> 00:01:24,663

- Не поняла.

- Прости.

00:01:24,747 --> 00:01:27,208

То есть: «Без проблем.

Рад тебе помочь».

00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,126

Это я так оговорился.

00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,628

Я идиот. Извини.

00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:33,130

Ты не идиот. Ты убрал мусор.

00:01:33,214 --> 00:01:35,382

- Я Морти.

- Очень приятно, Морти.

00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:37,885

Планетина. Чудного дня тебе.

00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,136

Эй! Чего застрял?

00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,890

Любишь мороженое?

За углом есть кафешка.

00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:47,061

Я не ем мороженое.

Телятина — продукт молочной индустрии.

00:01:47,144 --> 00:01:49,605

- О, это плохо.

- Очень.

00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:52,191

Господи! Да скорее ты! Идем!

00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:54,318

Можно поесть этичных пончиков.

00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:57,696

Я могу доставить

вас с другом туда на раз-два, не беда.

00:01:57,780 --> 00:01:59,281

Ага, я спрошу у него.

00:01:59,865 --> 00:02:01,825

Он сказал, что не может. Поехали!

00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:06,163

Это что еще за херня?

00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,613

Земля в опасности!

00:02:39,697 --> 00:02:42,283

Загрязнение и мусор

убивают нашу планету!

00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:46,620

Мать-Природа призвала четверых ребят

разных этносов, и когда дела плохи,

00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,622

по-настоящему плохи,

00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:52,459

они объединяют силы

своих колец стихии и создают меня!

00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:55,546

Планетину, суперборца за природу!

00:02:55,629 --> 00:02:56,964

Против загрязнения

00:02:57,047 --> 00:02:58,841

есть одно решение — ты!

00:02:58,924 --> 00:02:59,758

Клево, да?

00:02:59,842 --> 00:03:02,344

Не верится, что я тусил с Планетиной.

00:03:02,428 --> 00:03:05,014

Сколько лет этой даме?

Она кажется зрелой.

00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:08,767

Она разумная смесь разных стихий,

у нее не может быть возраста.

00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:11,395

Супер. Тейлор бросает меня

перед вечеринкой,

00:03:11,478 --> 00:03:14,690

а мелкий братец гуляет

с супергероем из Четвертой фазы.

00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:16,483

Да пристрелите вы меня уже.

00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,152

Давай без этого, Саммер.

00:03:18,235 --> 00:03:21,280

- Глянь, каково сестре!

- Она не пишет. Это странно?

00:03:21,363 --> 00:03:22,573

- Да.

- Нет.

00:03:22,656 --> 00:03:24,616

А если у дедули Рика есть козырь,

00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,869

такой крутой, что ты тут же забудешь

00:03:26,952 --> 00:03:28,537

о бросившем тебя мудаке?

00:03:29,246 --> 00:03:30,539

Мое блюдечко!

00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:33,042

Морглац, Слартиварт и Феркус-9.

00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:36,211

Три планеты гибнут

в медленной цепи катаклизмов.

00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,213

Такой замес бывает раз в жизни.

00:03:38,297 --> 00:03:42,217

Солнце Морглаца станет сверхновой,

Слартиварт летит в черную дыру,

00:03:42,301 --> 00:03:44,386

а Феркус-9 будет разбит астероидом.

00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:46,472

Там устроят прощальные мегатусы,

00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:49,600

и я хочу сполна на них кайфануть,

00:03:49,683 --> 00:03:52,061

взяв с собой любимую внучку!

00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:52,978

О да.

00:03:53,062 --> 00:03:57,358

Пара секунд на Морглаце —

и пофигизм насчет мудака гарантирован.

00:03:57,441 --> 00:03:58,275

Ну и герпес.

00:03:58,359 --> 00:03:59,902

О, спасибо, дедуля Рик!

00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:01,153

Бегу собирать вещи.

00:04:01,236 --> 00:04:04,073

Саммер, но я еще не дал разрешения.

00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,950

Саммер, разрешение еще не дано!

00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,411

Ой, сильный лесной пожар

в 300 км от нас!

00:04:09,495 --> 00:04:11,497

Класс! Планетина должна быть там.

00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:14,416

- Мам, дай кредитку, я куплю билет.

- Ни за что.

00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,627

Это же крупнейший пожар в этом году!

00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,545

- Ты не едешь!

- Хрена с два!

00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:21,048

- Мы не в России.

- Это не Россия, Джерри.

00:04:21,131 --> 00:04:23,467

Мое сердце разбито, мне надо отвлечься.

00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:26,136

Не нравится —

можете пососать мои титьки.

00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,721

Адьос, жопошники.

00:04:27,805 --> 00:04:30,349

Морти, ты можешь пострадать.

Подумай хорошо.

00:04:30,432 --> 00:04:32,976

Не хочу думать! Я хочу увидеть любимую!

00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,979

Не хочешь помочь —

я сам доберусь до этого пожара.

00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:42,945

- Принесу вина.

- Спасибо.

00:04:43,028 --> 00:04:45,906

Губернатор объявил

обязательную эвакуацию.

00:04:45,989 --> 00:04:48,992

Надежды нет.

Этот пожар не остановить. Никак!

00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:52,621

Ух ты! Это же Планетина,

спасительница Земли!

00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:54,748

Ай! Мчу так, что аж пятки горят.

00:04:54,832 --> 00:04:57,418

Охладим-ка этот пожар льдом!

00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:01,463

Сюда, дружок. Давай, я тебе помогу.

00:05:03,132 --> 00:05:05,092

Морти? Что ты тут делаешь?

00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:06,677

Привет! Ты тоже тут?

00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,679

Я услышал про пожар в лесу

00:05:08,762 --> 00:05:10,222

и вот заскочил помочь.

00:05:10,305 --> 00:05:12,015

Беги, дружок. Всё спокойно.

00:05:12,766 --> 00:05:14,726

Ох уж эти кролики. Вечно скачут…

00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:17,354

- И не плачут.

- Ага.

00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:20,065

Классно мы… Классно потусили в тот раз.

00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:23,694

Мне было…

В общем, мне типа понравилось.

00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:26,572

Хорошо. Я переживала.

Ты мне очень нравишься.

00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:30,075

Охренеть. То есть, да, клёво.

00:05:30,159 --> 00:05:35,914

- Тогда, может, еще погуляем?

- Я бы рада! Но, Морти, у меня ребята.

00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:38,250

Я хорошо с ними лажу. Я и сам ребенок.

00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,461

Нет, я про ребят, создающих меня,

00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:42,171

соединяя силы своих колец,

00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:44,047

чтобы я могла спасти Землю.

00:05:44,131 --> 00:05:47,217

А, ты о них! Я про них знаю.

Они мне нравятся.

00:05:47,301 --> 00:05:48,594

Хорошо. А вот и они.

00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:52,431

Дружище, хочешь автограф?

Они по 20 баксов.

00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:54,475

Нет, Эдди, это мой друг.

00:05:54,558 --> 00:05:56,977

Морти, это ребята. Друзья Тины.

00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:59,188

- Привет.

- Детка, ты поправилась?

00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:01,899

Я вчера ела растительный пончик.

Половинку.

00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:05,944

Сахар — кошмар для фигуры, детка.

Хочешь стать уродиной?

00:06:06,028 --> 00:06:07,821

Я думал, они моложе.

00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:11,742

Они со мной с середины 90-х.

С тех пор много воды утекло.

00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,702

Тебя это напрягает, да?

00:06:13,785 --> 00:06:15,537

Это непросто переварить.

00:06:15,621 --> 00:06:16,622

Я понимаю.

00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:19,500

Что ж, мне пора идти.

00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:20,459

Увидимся.

00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:22,461

Привет, 58-й канал!

00:06:22,544 --> 00:06:25,172

Планетина,

ты в одиночку спасла целый лес.

00:06:25,255 --> 00:06:27,299

Стараюсь, но я была не одна!

00:06:27,382 --> 00:06:30,135

- А что за друг с тобой?

- О, это Морти Смит.

00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:33,138

Он проехал 300 км,

чтобы спасти кролика от пожара.

00:06:33,222 --> 00:06:34,348

Он особенный.

00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:37,601

- Так вы встречаетесь?

- Ой, ну…

00:06:37,684 --> 00:06:39,811

Да. Встречаемся.

00:06:41,355 --> 00:06:43,106

- В жопу любовь.

- В жопу.

00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,775

- Слушай правила.

- Валяй.

00:06:44,858 --> 00:06:45,817

- Не ныть.

- Ага.

00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:46,944

- Не реветь.

- Так.

00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:49,488

И ни за что ни к кому не привязываться.

00:06:49,571 --> 00:06:52,324

Летим отрываться,

количество важнее качества.

00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:53,408

- Уговор?

- Да!

00:06:53,492 --> 00:06:55,410

Я буду лизать жопы вовсю.

00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:57,120

Зацени. Это я на вечеринке…

00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,416

«Ой, еще одна жопа?

Вы не против, если я…»

00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,586

А рядом я: «Простите, мисс,

00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,005

кажется, у вас жопа не лизана.

А ну-ка…»

00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:12,219

ПЛАНЕТА МОРГЛАЦ

00:07:14,012 --> 00:07:16,139

Ура! Туса в честь сверхновой!

00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,891

Любовь — ложь! Хана планете!

00:07:17,975 --> 00:07:21,228

Миру хана, но почему-то я хочу

погибнуть именно с вами.

00:07:21,311 --> 00:07:23,063

- Ого!

- Рик, не оборачивайся.

00:07:23,146 --> 00:07:25,107

Там на тебя кое-кто глазеет.

00:07:27,526 --> 00:07:31,071

Простите. Мне срочно надо

встретиться с одной кобылкой.

00:07:32,698 --> 00:07:34,533

- Привет.

- Я Рик. Привет.

00:07:34,616 --> 00:07:38,662

Миру хана, но почему-то я хочу

погибнуть именно с вами.

00:07:38,745 --> 00:07:40,664

- Привет.

- Жги, дедуля Рик!

00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:42,457

Никаких обязательств!

00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:47,504

Я летел к тебе на самолете

00:07:49,881 --> 00:07:55,512

Я боялся, что не смогу без тебя

00:07:56,597 --> 00:08:00,642

Эти птички навек стали любящими душами

00:08:00,726 --> 00:08:02,603

ОТКРОЙ ОКНО, ОШАЛЕЕШЬ ОТ БРИЗА

00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:04,104

ХИТРЫЙ ХОД

00:08:04,229 --> 00:08:07,649

Детка, вернись ко мне

Детка, прошу, вернись

00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:09,985

- Сюрприз!

- Откуда ты тут?

00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:13,739

Сказала ребятам,

что перерабатываю батарейки.

00:08:13,822 --> 00:08:19,745

Ведь старые батарейки нужно сдавать

лишь в специальные центры переработки,

00:08:19,828 --> 00:08:22,164

а не выбрасывать их в мусорку.

00:08:22,247 --> 00:08:23,457

Спасибо за совет.

00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:26,793

Цветы не живут вечно

00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:30,213

Но мы запомним их навек

00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:35,093

Детка, вернись ко мне

Детка, ты снова дома со мной

00:08:39,056 --> 00:08:41,350

Солус взорвется через пять зип-зопов.

00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:44,519

Если всё рассчитать,

можно в этот миг кончить вместе.

00:08:44,603 --> 00:08:45,646

Классная идея.

00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:47,773

Кажется, я оставила сумку в баре.

00:08:47,856 --> 00:08:51,568

- Можете вместе ее принести?

- Только попросите, миссис Обама!

00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,363

- Валим, дедуля.

- Ага. Жди у тачки.

00:08:55,906 --> 00:08:58,075

Какая-то явно ее. Но где она?

00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,452

- Ну начнем без нее.

- Ей же хуже.

00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:08,502

Эй, планета номер два! Вперед!

Прости, что долго. Отшивала прилипал.

00:09:08,585 --> 00:09:10,545

Поехали. Всех в жопу.

00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,923

- Ты вести-то можешь?

- Слышь…

00:09:13,006 --> 00:09:14,925

Доедем в лучшем виде.

00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,760

При… стегнись.

00:09:20,722 --> 00:09:21,556

Да!

00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:25,435

Ю-ху! Лучшая неделя в моей жизни!

00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:26,520

Привет.

00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:27,854

- Что это?

- Ничего.

00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:32,442

Кто хочет увидеть

крутейшую женщину-супергероя?

00:09:32,526 --> 00:09:34,111

- Огонь!

- Вода!

00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:36,488

- Воздух!

- И земля!

00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:42,160

О нет. Слёт! Морти, проснись!

00:09:42,244 --> 00:09:43,578

- Мы проспали.

- Что?

00:09:43,662 --> 00:09:45,038

Эй, на ней же мальчик!

00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:46,623

Да опустите занавес!

00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:49,000

- Нет занавеса!

- Уберите ее, идиоты!

00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:50,252

Нет, стойте, я…

00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:51,503

- Ой!

- Охрана!

00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:53,004

Вы чего? Верните ее!

00:09:53,088 --> 00:09:54,423

- Пустите!

- Извините.

00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,174

Планетина скоро вернется.

00:09:56,258 --> 00:10:01,346

Есть желающие купить эксклюзивные

Фанко всего за 50 долларов?

00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,014

Это всё очень плохо.

00:10:03,098 --> 00:10:06,184

Надо сворачивать лавочку.

Нам не нужны скандалы.

00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:09,271

Не парься. Я знаю,

как разобраться с этим Морти.

00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:11,648

ПЛАНЕТА СЛАРТИВАРТ

00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:18,739

Мы тут толпой идем к Гиблеру,

чтобы застрелиться.

00:10:18,822 --> 00:10:19,990

Хочешь с нами?

00:10:20,073 --> 00:10:23,285

Сорян, сегодня Сам-Сам не до мужиков.

Валите на хер.

00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:27,539

Тебе же хуже. Это всё могло быть твоим.

00:10:28,874 --> 00:10:31,418

Эй, зацените! Тут старичье пляшет!

00:10:40,886 --> 00:10:42,471

Детка, ну ты даешь!

00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,764

- Привет.

- Рик!

00:10:43,847 --> 00:10:46,349

Откуда, блин, тут эта морглацианка?

00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,226

Что? Она не морглацианка!

00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,812

Она тут одна голубая

и не с тремя глазами!

00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:53,482

Ладно. Спалила. Это… Дафна.

00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,192

А это Саммер, моя внучка.

00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,985

Внучка? Привет.

00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,905

Дафна узнала про наш план,

и я взял ее с собой.

00:10:59,988 --> 00:11:00,989

В багажнике.

00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:03,909

Какого хера, Рик?

Был уговор — без обязательств!

00:11:03,992 --> 00:11:08,079

Это наш загул в честь конца света!

Ты нарушил правила!

00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:10,415

Правила для зануд. Дафна любит крутых.

00:11:10,499 --> 00:11:12,918

Она готова на любой мой гнусный кипиш.

00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,419

- Привет.

- Да, детка.

00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:20,926

Парни, прогуляйтесь.

Я тут с ним справлюсь.

00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:23,303

Где Планетина?

00:11:23,386 --> 00:11:24,805

- Тише.

- Хочу ее видеть!

00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:27,516

На Планетине огромная ответственность.

00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,100

Люди на нее рассчитывают.

00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:32,771

А ты, друг мой,

непозволительная помеха для нас.

00:11:32,854 --> 00:11:34,272

Она для вас товар, да?

00:11:34,356 --> 00:11:35,774

Способ заработать.

00:11:35,857 --> 00:11:39,444

Но ведь это не так.

Она умное, живое существо, я ее люблю.

00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:41,530

Любишь, да? А знаешь что?

00:11:42,489 --> 00:11:43,824

Мы ей владеем.

00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,492

Но это ненадолго.

00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:47,619

Мы продаем ее какому-то арабу.

00:11:47,702 --> 00:11:48,702

Огонь.

00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,414

А тебя она может и разлюбить.

00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:54,167

- Если тебя чуток подпалить.

- Стойте!

00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,546

Шутить со мной вздумал? Да?

00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,922

Тупой ты мудак!

00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:02,968

Босс, что у вас там? Впустите нас!

00:12:05,178 --> 00:12:06,012

Огонь!

00:12:08,306 --> 00:12:09,599

Огонь!

00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:12,936

Можем завершить сделку?

00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:16,398

Я хочу отпраздновать покупку

сегодня за ужином,

00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:19,025

а эти детеныши тюленей

моложе не становятся.

00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:22,988

Один момент, товарищ.

Сейчас придет наш партнер.

00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:25,156

Где там этот Эдди?

00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,867

Опять автоответчик.

00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,869

Запишите сообщение

00:12:28,952 --> 00:12:30,954

Я не могу ответить на звонок

00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:32,956

Шучу. Это Эдди. Идите в жопу.

00:12:33,999 --> 00:12:35,458

Кто заказывал пиццу?

00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,460

Никто не заказывал. Что это?

00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:41,298

Итальянская, с двойным сыром

и хрустящей корочкой.

00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:45,218

Я знаю эти скулы как свои! Это Эдди!

00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:46,511

Сука! Убить его!

00:12:46,595 --> 00:12:48,305

- Камень!

- Огонь!

00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:55,645

Воздух!

00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:58,815

Холодная вода!

00:12:58,899 --> 00:12:59,733

Земля!

00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:01,943

Fire!

00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:03,862

Что?

00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:05,655

Воздух.

00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:09,159

Теперь мы будем вместе, Планетина.

00:13:09,242 --> 00:13:12,579

Я отдельный персонаж,

не представитель группы.

00:13:12,662 --> 00:13:15,248

Огонь! Вода! Земля! Воздух!

00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,420

Ай! Как нехорошо!

00:13:23,757 --> 00:13:27,135

Блиб, нага, трив,

00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:29,346

верилекс, гам!

00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,598

Веселого апокалипсиса!

00:13:31,681 --> 00:13:33,350

- Боже!

- Это ужасно!

00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:34,351

К чему веселье?

00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:41,775

Привет. Есть тут водичка?

00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:43,068

У мамули сушняк.

00:13:43,151 --> 00:13:44,235

В бардачке.

00:13:44,319 --> 00:13:46,029

О да.

00:13:47,697 --> 00:13:49,658

Рик — крутейший чувак.

00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,076

Мы так сдружились.

00:13:51,159 --> 00:13:53,870

Он покажет мне чудеса вселенной.

00:13:53,954 --> 00:13:55,538

Ха! На следующей планете

00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:58,041

дед тебя бросит в два счета.

00:13:58,124 --> 00:13:59,376

Да ладно?

00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:02,170

Ага, его еще никто не смог охомутать.

00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:04,506

Вселенную с Риком изучаю только я.

00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:07,592

Но я даю ему полакомиться этим.

00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,178

Ого… Господи.

00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:12,514

О да, деточка.

00:14:12,597 --> 00:14:14,516

Против них ты слаба.

00:14:14,599 --> 00:14:16,518

За них многие даже воевали.

00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:19,896

Они губили королей,

вдохновляли президентов.

00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:24,609

О них сложены сотни песен

и девять национальных гимнов.

00:14:24,693 --> 00:14:27,904

Лучшие локтевые сиськи на Морглаце.

00:14:27,988 --> 00:14:32,409

А теперь, благодаря Рику,

лучшие во всей галактике.

00:14:32,492 --> 00:14:33,743

Мне их спрятать?

00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:34,869

- Прошу.

- Лады.

00:14:34,953 --> 00:14:37,622

Но лишь потому, что ты внучка Рика.

00:14:37,706 --> 00:14:41,292

Дафна! Ты где, детка?

Папочке нужно присосаться к локтям.

00:14:41,376 --> 00:14:44,045

Иду! А ты тут следи за дорогой.

00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:46,339

Сейчас станет скользко.

00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:47,924

- Привет!

- Привет!

00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:53,763

Я надел солнечные очки

и ушел как ни в чём не бывало.

00:14:53,847 --> 00:14:56,433

Я наконец свободна. Благодаря Морти.

00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,059

Какая романтичная история.

00:14:58,143 --> 00:15:00,562

Наш сын убил полную комнату людей.

00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:01,479

Твой ход.

00:15:02,147 --> 00:15:05,608

Семь. Раз, два, три,

четыре, пять, шесть, семь!

00:15:05,692 --> 00:15:08,111

Ой, разогрет мой обед!

00:15:08,194 --> 00:15:10,572

- Ага! Ешь!

- У меня нет карт с едой.

00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:12,824

Я могу одолжить пару кишей под 10%.

00:15:12,907 --> 00:15:14,409

Ты такой щедрый.

00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:15,535

Мой ход!

00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:19,914

- Две шестерки! Раз, два, три…

- Что дальше, Планетина?

00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:23,543

Меня теперь не отвлекает

подписание книг и реклама,

00:15:23,626 --> 00:15:26,129

мы с Морти займемся

более важными делами.

00:15:26,212 --> 00:15:27,380

Вроде школы?

00:15:27,464 --> 00:15:29,966

Мы съедемся. Планетине негде жить,

00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,384

я позвал ее к нам.

00:15:31,468 --> 00:15:33,303

- Блин. Морти, нет.

- Я наелся!

00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,555

- В смысле «нет»?

- Ха-ха!

00:15:35,638 --> 00:15:37,223

Я не буду вам в тягость.

00:15:37,307 --> 00:15:40,435

Я лишь хочу как можно больше

быть с вашим сыном.

00:15:40,518 --> 00:15:42,562

Ему 14 лет, мисс.

00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:44,439

Прости. Морти. Ты слишком юн.

00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:46,775

Но ты была подростком, когда залетела!

00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:50,153

Мне было 17!

У мальчиков это почти как 26.

00:15:50,236 --> 00:15:54,365

Планетина очень хорошая,

но у подростков любовь быстро проходит.

00:15:54,449 --> 00:15:57,744

Вы недооцениваете Морти.

Он очень зрелый юноша.

00:15:57,827 --> 00:15:59,412

Видишь, мам! Я же говорил!

00:15:59,496 --> 00:16:01,539

Этому не бывать. И точка.

00:16:01,623 --> 00:16:03,875

Планетина, думаю, вам пора.

00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:05,335

Ладно, миссис Смит.

00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,837

- О нет!

- Ненавижу тебя, мама!

00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:09,464

- Ты отстой!

- Это же игра.

00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:10,423

- Тихо!

- Ага.

00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:12,092

Вечно я везде лишний!

00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:14,385

Что я ни скажу, вы закатываете глаза,

00:16:14,469 --> 00:16:17,388

словно слушать меня —

тяжкая обязанность.

00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:20,058

Все думают,

что я ни на что не способен.

00:16:20,141 --> 00:16:22,477

Я облетел вселенную, видел сотни людей,

00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,106

и лишь с Планетиной

я наконец обрел свое место,

00:16:26,189 --> 00:16:27,690

а ты выгнала ее из дома!

00:16:27,774 --> 00:16:30,443

- Морти, прошу…

- Никогда тебе этого не прощу!

00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:34,948

Меч возьми и вдаль пусти

00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:37,784

Пусть под звездами блестит

00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:39,869

Морти! Вернись!

00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:47,627

Кто ты? Кто я для тебя?

00:16:49,212 --> 00:16:52,090

Я для тебя падший ангел

00:16:56,219 --> 00:17:00,682

Милосердно низвергнутый с небес

00:17:01,975 --> 00:17:04,727

Прямо в твои объятия

00:17:04,811 --> 00:17:06,604

ИДИТЕ ПЕШКОМ

00:17:09,732 --> 00:17:11,067

ГОРИТ ДОМ КОНГРЕССМЕНА

00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:19,242

Убирайтесь! Все вон отсюда!

Вы убиваете планету!

00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:22,829

Ваши не набрали голосов.

Вон, или вас арестуют.

00:17:22,912 --> 00:17:24,581

Это вас надо арестовать.

00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:27,667

Разрыли землю,

загрязнили воздух для своих детей!

00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,669

Вы не видите, что творите?

00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:31,462

Вам легко! Живете как хотите.

00:17:31,546 --> 00:17:35,383

А нам работать надо. Идем, парни.

Ей нас не остановить.

00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,927

- Ну, в следующий раз.

- Ждать некогда!

00:17:38,011 --> 00:17:40,221

Ты не слышишь, как стонет планета?

00:17:40,305 --> 00:17:42,932

- Грязные убийцы!

- Планетина, стой!

00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:46,644

Есть лишь одно решение

против загрязнения!

00:17:48,062 --> 00:17:49,564

О боже, нет.

00:17:49,647 --> 00:17:51,941

Кто я для тебя?

00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:57,030

Я для тебя падший ангел

00:17:57,113 --> 00:17:57,947

Нет!

00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,743

ПЛАНЕТА ФЕРКУС-9

00:18:02,327 --> 00:18:05,288

Офигеть, я трахаю коллег.

А ведь я босс!

00:18:05,371 --> 00:18:09,459

Гей-секс с отцом — это бомба!

И чего я тянул?

00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:11,085

Скоро всему конец!

00:18:11,169 --> 00:18:13,463

Последний шанс меня обоссать! Эй!

00:18:13,546 --> 00:18:15,715

Дед, метеор совсем рядом. Нам пора.

00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:17,425

Да ну, время еще есть.

00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:19,886

Завязывай с любовью

и начинай отрываться.

00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:22,388

Любовь — тоже весело, Саммер. Попробуй.

00:18:22,472 --> 00:18:23,765

Но это же не любовь!

00:18:23,848 --> 00:18:26,226

Дафна с тобой просто чтобы выжить!

00:18:26,309 --> 00:18:28,186

Ах, молодежь. Какая наивность.

00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,277

Фу, гадость.

00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:53,294

Поздравляю, феркисианцы!

Конец света отменяется.

00:18:53,419 --> 00:18:55,046

Дед, мы можем лететь домой.

00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:58,383

Дафна, ты тоже можешь.

если правда этого хочешь.

00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:00,134

К чему это ты, Саммер?

00:19:00,218 --> 00:19:01,552

Конечно, Дафна хочет…

00:19:02,679 --> 00:19:05,265

Ах ты, гадкая стерва. Привет!

00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:06,933

Пока.

00:19:07,892 --> 00:19:11,854

Эй, это она спасла мир!

Значит, завтра надо на работу!

00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:14,399

Сволочь!

00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:18,945

Мне жаль насчет Дафны.

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Молчи. Я всё понял.

00:19:20,488 --> 00:19:22,407

- Да? И не злишься?

- Я в ярости.

00:19:24,492 --> 00:19:29,038

Но это очень в духе Рика: отменить

конец света в припадке цинизма,

00:19:29,122 --> 00:19:31,582

лишь бы расстроить глупые отношения.

00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,543

Всё равно, извини.

00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:35,753

Да я бы сделал для тебя то же самое.

00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:37,171

Честно?

00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:40,091

- Люблю тебя, дед.

- Не смущай.

00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:47,098

ОТВЕТЬ МНЕ.

00:19:48,349 --> 00:19:51,144

Я НЕ ЗНАЮ, ЧТО ТЕБЕ СКАЗАТЬ.

00:19:51,227 --> 00:19:53,229

ОТПРАВЛЕНО — ПРОЧИТАНО.

00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:57,650

Уходи. Я не хочу больше видеться.

00:19:57,734 --> 00:19:59,652

Даже не попробуешь всё наладить?

00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:02,613

- Мы были так близки.

- Ты убила 300 человек.

00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:03,948

А ты — моих ребят.

00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:06,284

Но они хотели тебя продать.

00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,952

А Эдди пытался меня убить!

00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:09,954

А шахтеры ничего не сделали!

00:20:10,038 --> 00:20:14,000

Невинные шахтеры голосовали так,

чтобы сохранить работу,

00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:17,045

чтобы покупать больше фигни

и есть трупы животных.

00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,629

Система сломана, Морти.

00:20:18,713 --> 00:20:21,507

Лишь так я могу спасти Землю.

00:20:22,216 --> 00:20:24,052

Лишь так я могу спасти тебя.

00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,013

Если так, то я не хочу,

чтобы меня спасали.

00:20:27,096 --> 00:20:30,183

- Уходи.

- Но… я люблю тебя.

00:20:31,476 --> 00:20:35,396

Я… Я не могу тебя любить.

Просто не могу.

00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,481

Прошу, пойми.

00:20:36,564 --> 00:20:37,398

Нет.

00:20:38,066 --> 00:20:38,900

Я уйду.

00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:42,278

Но не смей просить меня о понимании.

00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:44,655

Планетина. Мне очень жаль.

00:20:46,407 --> 00:20:47,283

Пошел ты.

00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:00,338

Морти, всё в порядке?

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Она ушла, мама! Ее нет!

00:21:02,799 --> 00:21:05,051

А я так ее любил!

00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:06,844

Я знаю, дорогой.

00:21:08,513 --> 00:21:09,764

Мама рядом.

00:21:09,847 --> 00:21:16,229

Пусть под звездами блестит

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Кто ты?

00:21:18,523 --> 00:21:21,275

Кто я для тебя?

00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:27,115

Я для тебя падший ангел

00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:34,747

Милосердно низвергнутый с небес

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Прямо в твои объятия

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ПЛАНЕТА ФЕРКУС-9

УТРО ПОНЕДЕЛЬНИКА

00:21:55,059 --> 00:21:56,310

Доброе утро.

00:21:56,394 --> 00:21:57,228

Доброе.

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- Не идет торговля?

- Ага.

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Видимо, все думали,

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что сегодня нас всех тут уже не будет.

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- Мама там?

- Она с нами не разговаривает.

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Из-за нашего секса?

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- Да.

- Ну да. Можно понять.

00:22:17,874 --> 00:22:19,542

С днем рождения, кстати.

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Перевод субтитров: Александр Ивашкевич