Звёздные Морти: Возврикщение Джерри

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Меня зовут Бет Смит.

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Передай своим боссам,

что Ополчение ещё на плаву.

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Хорошо-хорошо.

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Ты станешь легендой, Блейд Смит.

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- Бет Смит.

- Бет. Бет. Бет Смит.

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Боже, это же так просто...

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Я всё пытаюсь запомнить путём ассоциаций.

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Приплети его к желанию жить.

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Я знаю, знаю! Можно подумать,

что сразу врежется в память,

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но всё дело в абсолютной забывчивости.

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О боже. М-м-мне очень жаль.

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Господи. Начинается на "Б"...

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Поздравляем ваш государственный бизнес

или террористическую ячейку

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с покупкой Планетарного Уничтожителя NX-5

от компании Замазакс

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в сотрудничестве с джинсами Рэнглер.

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Ведущие в отрасли

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тахионовые лучи NX-5 уничтожают

планеты в два раза быстрее NX-4S

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за половину заряда,

а в конструкции нет роковых изъянов.

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Всё верно.

Больше никаких секретных отверстий,

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которые взрывают всю станцию

при попадании выстрела.

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Враги скажут, что так нечестно.

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- А мы скажем, что давно пора.

- Чёрт.

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Мы рисковали жизнями ради этого?

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Ты сделала всё возможное.

Может, пора тебе отдохнуть?

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- Не скучаешь по Земле?

- Мне и не нужно скучать,

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технически я всё ещё там.

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Мой отец создал идеального клона,

который занял моё место.

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Ох уж этот Рик.

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А что будет с клоном, если ты вернёшься?

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У него нет на шее устройства,

которое реагирует

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- на твоё приближение?

- Какая разница? Мы закончили?

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Да. Если не хочешь, чтобы я удалил

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из тебя устройство,

которое реагирует на приближение.

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Может это бомба?

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Блин, а вдруг ты узнаешь,

что он не ждёт твоего возвращения

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и любит клона больше, чем тебя?

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Просто безумие, да?

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Безумие, и конечно же дикая обида.

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Для тебя. У меня есть средство от этого.

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Хочешь? Не вызывает привыкание.

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Я соврал. Определённо вызывает.

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Я ужасный врач.

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Но и от этого у меня есть средство.

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Хочешь? Не вызывает привыкание. Ммм.

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Я отличный врач.

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У доктора Вонг появилось окно.

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Кто хочет на семейный сеанс?

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- Я бы сходила.

- Я-я с радостью.

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Не уверен, что успею закончить

куклу для игровой терапии.

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Отлично. Она отдельно попросила,

чтобы ты больше не приносил кукол. Пап?

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Обожаю психотерапию,

особенной всей семьёй,

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но я распадаюсь на атомы.

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- Боже!

- Папа!

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- Это правда? У нас получилось?

- Пояс невидимости.

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Эй-эй-эй. Он их задел.

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Заболит секунд через 10.

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- Спасибо, Морти.

- Тебе значит можно его юзать?

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- А мне нельзя!

- А мне можно?

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- Я бы побесила Морти.

- Шикарная мысль.

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Какого чёрта? Козлина! Дай сюда!

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Эй!

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Поделись невидимостью. Джерри?

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Похоже, это работёнка для мистера Кусаки.

Дай только приклею второй глаз.

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Я тебя убью!

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Ух. Похоже, что вы сейчас поругаетесь

из-за неуправляемых детей.

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Как здорово,

что у доктора Вонг окно. Пока.

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- Ты плохой отец.

- Не позволяй ему ссорить нас.

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Гараж, режим семейной психотерапии.

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Фух.

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Милая, ты вернулась.

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- Кажется, ты удивлён.

- Ты не писала.

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И не взорвалась?

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Кажется, ты решила, что это бомба.

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Как и любой инженер,

который это осмотрел.

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Инженер? Принцесса, пещерные люди

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при виде микроволновки назовут её

шкафом для камней.

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Суть изобретений в том,

чтобы создавать то, чего нет.

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Тогда состряпай причину не убивать тебя.

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- Пап? Мы поехали к доктору Вонг.

- Просканируй её.

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Пап?

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Не скучай там, тыковка.

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Прости, что я говно, а не отец.

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Ха-ха! Ненависть к себе многое прощает.

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Джерри, оставь куклу.

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Но это гарантированный

прогресс в отношениях.

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Устройство на шее должно было перенести

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базу её воспоминаний на твоё устройство,

а затем испарило бы её.

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Но план профукан.

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Почему она... оно...

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Почему я снова с Джерри?

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- Она же вроде моя копия.

- Она твоя копия.

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Раз она вернулась к этому баребуху,

это твой косяк.

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- Хочешь выпить?

- Всегда хочу.

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Хорошая девочка.

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- Поймать хищника...

- Какого хрена?

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Тепловизор, сучка.

Мама сказала делиться.

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Невидимостью не поделишься. Снимай.

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Нет.

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Тогда увидимся на тренировке чирлидерш?

Мне принести пончо?

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Ладно! Твои условия?

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Верни пояс. Забирай тепловизор.

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Уходи. Через час обменяемся.

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Идёт.

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Как тебе такое, сучара?

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Уж получше старого пояса.

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- "Малыш крепыш младший"?

- Надо было делиться.

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Что ты делаешь в моём доме?

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Я отошла от приставки настолько далеко?

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Тут не хватает предупреждения.

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Мы перехватили управление воротами,

и рабы-повстанцы захватили столицу.

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- Было круто.

- Очень круто.

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У моей дочери космические приключения.

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Но они становятся похожи

на "Звёздные Войны".

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Не забывай веселиться.

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Я прилетела, чтобы убить тебя,

а не слушать замечания,

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но постараюсь почаще пердеть,

пока спасаю галактику.

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Вообще-то это стало возможно

благодаря мне.

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- Мы не соревнуемся.

- Конечно нет.

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Но если бы соревновались, то звание самого

разыскиваемого считалось бы первым местом?

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Ты борешься с громфломитами?

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Пап, они пытаются захватить галактику.

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Каждый в галактике

пытается захватить галактику.

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Главное, чтобы тебя оставили в покое те,

кому это удастся.

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Эх, у тебя фаза героя.

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У меня она тож была. Ты вырастешь из неё.

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Это ты вырос из неё.

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Я не дорасту до такого,

чтобы положить на всё хрен.

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Наши источники сообщают,

что пришельцы, называющие себя

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но-о-о-овой галактической федерацией,

взорвут планету,

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если какая-то женщина с очень

скучными именем не сдаст себя.

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- Да блин.

- Вот и положила хрен.

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В следующий раз не клади его

на родную планету.

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Вот срань! Они же выследят Бет.

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То есть... клона Бет.

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Да. Клона Бет.

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А... а я что сказал?

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Был очень рад повидаться.

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- Ву-у-у! Да!

- Вперёд, Пчёлки!

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Девочки, тренировка отпад.

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Не забывайте, воду надо экономить,

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так что мойтесь большой группой

в одно время.

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Пожар! В душе пожар!

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Отойдите, девочки! Я справлюсь!

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- Ну ты и мразота!

- Не хочешь поделиться?

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Морти Смит, руки вверх!

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Ты арестован за преступления против

Новой Улучшенной Галактической Федерации.

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Стоп. Что? Как ты это делаешь?

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Ты ведь не телепат?

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У тебя суперспособности?

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- Ну да.

- Это мощные суперсилы?

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Мы просто ищем твою мать.

Ты ведь не можешь остановить наши сердца?

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- Могу.

- Ладно, мы сдаёмся.

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Джерри, ты согласен, что куклы

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выставляют тебя дурачком и безумцем?

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Не думаю, что "безумец" -

уместное слово во время...

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Теперь уместное. Это безумие.

Ты ведёшь себя безумно.

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А по телику так делают.

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А ещё по телику британцам

дают призы за выпечку.

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- Тэмми?

- Тоня? Тэммья? Тэммья.

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Здравствуйте, миссис Смит.

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Такая причёска мне нравится больше.

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- Как ваш живот?

- Что?

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Эй! Я всего лишь сказал "эй"!

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А что мне ещё остаётся?

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Я бы очень хотела убить тебя,

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но у моего начальства есть несколько

вопросов касательно Ополчения.

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Но у меня нет... У меня есть Ополчение?

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О боже, я - клон.

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И это твоё оправдание?

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Нет, моё оправдание - выкуси.

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Эй! Мы уже проходили через это.

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Я всего лишь сказал "Эй".

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Умные пушки, не стрелять по людям.

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И по терапевту.

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Тэмми, в этом кабинете

моя семья работает над тем,

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- чтобы стать лучше.

- И что, это типа святое место?

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Нет, это место, которое я напичкал

средствами для побега

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на голосовом управлении.

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Какие хорошие замечания, мне надо

как следует поработать над собой.

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Обсудим это?

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Я не обсуждаю проблемы, я их испепеляю.

00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:28,921

Все в корабль!

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Все из моей семьи, а не вообще все.

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Боже, Вонг. Краёв не видишь?

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Я выше этой профессии.

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А ты не можешь открыть портал?

00:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,219

Джерри, у тебя там дети невидимые.

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"Открыть портал"?

Посмотрите на отца года.

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Кто бы говорил.

Ты же сказал, что клон не я.

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Т-ты не клон.

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- А это кто?

- Э-э-эм... Это... Клон?

00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:02,284

Зачем создавать мой клон

и отправлять его в космос?

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Ну, ты не захотела, и я подумал

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"Ладно, ничего".

00:09:05,082 --> 00:09:06,851

Но потом подумал "Было бы круче,

00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:09,540

если бы у меня была космо-дочь",

и-и я её сделал.

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И я встроил бомбу ей в шею,

на случай если она вернётся.

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- Отец года.

- Она не должна была вернуться.

00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:14,667

Зачем она вернулась?

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Она нашла бомбу в шее. Ты бы не вернулась?

00:09:18,668 --> 00:09:20,355

- Отец года.

- Заткнись!

00:09:20,564 --> 00:09:21,925

Я устала верить тебе на слово.

00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,507

- Я хочу поговорить с ней.

- Не надо!

00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:25,740

- Джерри, сделай что-нибудь.

- Эй.

00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:32,272

Он сказал мне, что ты клон.

00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:33,879

Как думаешь, что он сказал мне?

00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,603

- Что ты клон?

- Ух ты, наивная и красивая.

00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,598

Ух ты, потрёпанная и сексуальная.

00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:41,382

Знаю, так поступают плохие родители,

00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:43,495

но если вы прекратите ссориться,

мы сходим в МакДоналдс.

00:09:43,522 --> 00:09:46,187

А может я просто вышибу себе мозги,

начиная с неё?

00:09:46,188 --> 00:09:47,699

Тогда в Вэндис. Мы же любим Вэндис.

00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:48,960

О-они нам вроде даже заплатили.

00:09:48,961 --> 00:09:50,290

- Брось оружие!

- Ни с места! Лежать!

00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,994

На землю! На землю! Не двигаться!

00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,275

Закрыли рты! Орёте говно невпопад.

00:09:54,746 --> 00:09:56,809

Так значит, их правда две?

00:09:56,837 --> 00:10:00,504

- Самое главное, кто из них моя?

- Никто, шовинист.

00:10:00,531 --> 00:10:02,117

Пофигу. Забирайте обеих.

00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,359

Клёвый луч, но давай поторгуемся.

00:10:08,386 --> 00:10:10,517

- На самом деле вам нужен я.

- Чего?

00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:11,989

Алё, умнейший человек во вселенной?

00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:13,775

Секрет межпространственных путешествий?

00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:16,055

- Спроси у боссов.

- Мои боссы - жуки, Рик.

00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,431

Старых ты убил.

А новые в два раза моложе меня.

00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:22,270

Они знают, что ты не представляешь

угрозы, если тебя не трогать.

00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:24,163

- У-у-уф!

- Цель у нас.

00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,524

Запускайте NX-5.

00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:26,957

Земле пора бум-бум.

00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:29,564

А ты попробуй снова поискать себе

новую вселенную,

00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:32,267

- где можешь отсосать у себя.

- Не указывай мне, что делать.

00:10:32,268 --> 00:10:34,104

Круто. Он сопротивляется. Можно стрелять.

00:10:34,852 --> 00:10:36,446

- Что?

- Действуй, Джерри!

00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:39,137

Всем бросить оружие!... кроме Джерри!

00:10:39,164 --> 00:10:40,622

Блять, ну классика.

00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:46,784

- Охренеть, Морти!

- И Саммер.

00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,829

М-мы работали вместе.

Это... наша сюжетная арка.

00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,187

Сначала брат и сестра, потом невидимки,

а потом работа вместе.

00:10:51,188 --> 00:10:52,991

Это не "Гражданин Кейн", но зачем

00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:54,830

соревноваться между собой?

00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:02,647

Ты заставила меня пойти на свадьбу.

00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:06,685

И убила моего лучшего друга.

Надо было с этого начать.

00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:14,098

Земля, поздравляем с уничтожением

от луча NX-5 при поддержке джинс Рэнглер.

00:11:18,603 --> 00:11:20,427

Похоже, самое разыскиваемое

млекопитающее в галактике

00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:22,515

не может поменять подгузник

без папиной помощи.

00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:26,929

Давайте, дети, придётся поучаствовать

в злоебучих "Звёздных Войнах".

00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:31,772

Внимание, Зета 99-2.

00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,136

Мы знаем, что вы угнали корабль.

Сдавайтесь.

00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:36,506

Ой, я вдруг начал представлять угрозу?

00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:46,407

Эй, посадка запрещена.

00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:49,594

- Мы откроем огонь.

- Удерживать позиции! Вы станете героями.

00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,452

Саммер, попробуй открыть дверь,

просканировав дохлую рожу школьной подруги.

00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:59,449

- Мне... мне надо пописать.

- Ссы на пол. Это Звезда Смерти.

00:11:59,476 --> 00:12:01,797

Да, но тут повстанцы, и ещё...

00:12:01,824 --> 00:12:03,361

- Держи, пап.

- Отлично.

00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,008

Что я делаю не так?

00:12:06,036 --> 00:12:09,814

У неё глаза закрыты.

Морти, открой левый, а я правый.

00:12:11,387 --> 00:12:13,401

Она умерла так же, как и жила -

излишне драматично.

00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:15,854

Я спасу вашу маму и её клона,

не раскрывая, кто есть кто.

00:12:15,881 --> 00:12:17,961

А вы найдите и вырубите NX-5.

00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,684

Только не усирайтесь.

Планет Земля бесконечно много.

00:12:19,711 --> 00:12:21,283

Спасёте эту - ништяк.

00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,749

Команда мечты снова в деле!

00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,429

Да, мы как Люк и Лея.

00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:25,798

Только без поцелуев.

00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,293

Какие ещё есть знаменитые братья и сёстры?

00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,859

- Гензель и Гретель?

- Ну не, эти двое трахались.

00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:31,073

Пап, нам нужен пояс.

00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,455

Я не могу пописать, пока вы смотрите.

00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,821

- Ты невидимый.

- А если видно мочу?

00:12:34,848 --> 00:12:36,892

А знаешь что? Не нужна нам невидимость.

00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:40,058

- Работа вместе и есть наш пояс.

- Это наша арка. За дело.

00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:42,347

Я даже свистеть начну.

Вот как мне здорово.

00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:49,653

О боже, я так и знал.

00:12:51,828 --> 00:12:54,044

Тут пол неровный.

00:12:56,281 --> 00:12:57,411

Нас будут пытать?

00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,439

Если ты не планируешь рассказать

им то, что мне известно.

00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:01,411

Последний шанс угадать, кто был клоном.

00:13:01,557 --> 00:13:02,649

Ты его дочь.

00:13:02,787 --> 00:13:04,063

Я поняла по глазам

00:13:04,091 --> 00:13:06,873

и бессовестному отказу от семьи.

00:13:06,901 --> 00:13:08,859

Как мне теперь мириться с собой?

00:13:08,886 --> 00:13:11,661

Хотя есть теория... Твой отец создал меня,

чтобы я смирилась с собой,

00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,176

а значит, ты сознательно

00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:15,748

проглотила свои мечты вместе с вином

и макаронами в виде динозавров.

00:13:15,775 --> 00:13:17,359

Ты знаешь, что это Джерри их любит,

00:13:17,386 --> 00:13:19,688

а я знаю, что твоя главная мечта –

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,106

это одобрение дерьмового отца.

00:13:21,108 --> 00:13:23,090

Ты дерьмовому отцу лимонад носишь

00:13:23,117 --> 00:13:25,121

Ты косплеишь дерьмого отца,

когда ему было 30.

00:13:25,148 --> 00:13:26,601

Красная тревога. Красная тревога.

00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:28,037

Рик Санчез...

00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:30,577

Скорее напрасная тревога. Как вам?

00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:33,127

Есть ещё пара вариантов в заметках.

Сейчас найду.

00:13:34,561 --> 00:13:37,862

Похрен. Бет, если... если одна из вас жива,

ты и есть моя дочь.

00:13:37,889 --> 00:13:39,692

Если живы обе, то не калечь другую.

00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,633

Она просто клон, она того не стоит.

00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,561

Я иду, малышка.

00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,443

- Вот же говна кусок.

- Вот же говна кусок.

00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:46,928

Я вернулась, чтобы убить его, кстати.

00:13:47,205 --> 00:13:48,232

Могу помочь.

00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,340

- Вмажь мне ногой промеж глаз.

- Отсюда?

00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:53,472

А, ты бросила йогу, чтобы купить Джерри

побольше витаминок с Флинстоунами...

00:13:57,723 --> 00:14:00,543

Не нравится мне эта огромная боевая арена.

00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:10,068

- Птичья Личность?

- Теперь я Феникс Личность.

00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:12,836

Ты работаешь на них?

Что они с тобой сделали, Птич?

00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:15,209

Я теперь Фен, а не Птич. Где Тэмми?

00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:16,903

А, не парься. Я её грохнул

00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:20,132

- Я любил её.

- Правда?

00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,984

Тогда могу предложить тебе новое имя -

00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:23,629

Пизданутая Подкаблучная Личность.

00:14:38,605 --> 00:14:41,417

Забавно. Мне всегда было интересно,

кто победит, если мы будем драться

00:14:41,418 --> 00:14:43,403

Значит, ты всегда был плохим другом.

00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,309

Морти, у нас была всего одна граната.

00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,218

- У него была пушка.

- Пофиг. Пойдём.

00:14:56,823 --> 00:14:58,197

- Ты ничего не слышал?

- Не важно.

00:14:58,224 --> 00:15:00,003

Если кто-то решит выключить лазер,

00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,814

то ничего не выйдет, ведь мы его заметим.

00:15:01,977 --> 00:15:03,368

Работа вместе и есть наш пояс?

00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:05,513

- Ты сама его отдала!

- Ты сказал, что он нам не нужен.

00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,696

- Зачем ты вообще родился?

- Родители тебя не планировали.

00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,097

- А почему некоторые штаны...

- NX-5 не уничтожает джинсы Рэнглер.

00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:16,586

Типа реально не может уничтожить

или просто так запрограммировали?

00:15:16,613 --> 00:15:18,092

Ё-маё, а ты как думаешь?

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,808

Неплохо мочишь жуков

для лошадиного хирурга.

00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:54,135

Спасибо, я.

00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,613

Может, когда-нибудь сделаем,

как в "Ловушке для родителей"?

00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,445

Если только в версии с Линдси Лохан.

00:15:58,472 --> 00:15:59,537

Естественно.

00:16:01,848 --> 00:16:03,817

Как думаешь, зачем им столько джинс?

00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:06,199

- Может, из них куртки сошьют?

- Тут дело не в экономии ткани,

00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:09,505

а в рекламе.

Типа "NX-5 уничтожает целые планеты,

00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:11,003

кроме джинс Рэнглер."

00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,409

Потому что они такие прочные,

что лазер не берёт?

00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:15,063

- Бред.

- Ты сам поднял тему.

00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:17,197

Ты прав. Попался на удочку.

00:16:17,224 --> 00:16:18,356

Эй, я здесь. Смотрите!

00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:20,252

Ты видел пробегающего мимо

пацана без штанов?

00:16:20,287 --> 00:16:21,485

Я не куплюсь во второй раз.

00:16:21,486 --> 00:16:23,519

Раньше я был невидимым,

но теперь всё наоборот.

00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,837

- Взять его. Только без пошлостей.

- Ты сам всё опошлил.

00:16:32,037 --> 00:16:34,415

Обнаружен корпоративный спонсор NX-5.

00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:36,191

Невозможно порвать джинсы Рэнглер.

00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:37,435

Сшиты на века.

00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,839

Сшиты... на... века.

00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:43,676

Я их убил! Я-я сделал это за кадром.

00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,217

Чёрт возьми. Морти, сделай что-нибудь

с трусами. Я твои яйки увидела.

00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:47,480

Сама виновата.

00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,078

Почему ты не знакомишь меня с родителями?

00:16:49,105 --> 00:16:51,495

- Стыдишься меня?

- Нет, стыжусь их.

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,883

Не думал, что погибну вот так.

00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:14,035

Венеция вообще не рядом, да и ты

далеко не карлик в дождевике.

00:17:18,115 --> 00:17:21,859

Отойди. Ты его не убьёшь, пока мы

не надерём ему зад, Птичья Личность.

00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:23,881

Меня зовут Феникс Личность.

00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,258

Никто тебя так не называет. Бред.

00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:27,220

Поразительно, как вся семья может

00:17:27,221 --> 00:17:29,991

и иметь такую важную роль,

и быть такой отстойной?

00:17:44,851 --> 00:17:46,412

Птичья Личность, остановись.

00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,660

Это я, та самая Тэмми.

00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:50,933

Тэмми, как неожиданно.

00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,571

Мне сказали, что ты погибла.

00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:55,519

Это аб-со-лютная неправда.

00:17:55,547 --> 00:17:58,327

Я живее всех живых, ха-ха!

00:17:58,543 --> 00:18:00,779

Ты очень странно себя ведёшь.

00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:03,239

Я? Странно? Боже.

00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,923

А кто сейчас ведёт себя нормально?

00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,558

Иди ко мне, долбоклюй пернатый.

00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:10,060

Возьми мою сладкую попку.

00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,866

Кукла всё же пригодилась.

00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,381

Хоть у кого-то достойная арка.

00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:23,799

У него бывают минуты славы.

00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:24,760

Мама, папа!

00:18:24,932 --> 00:18:26,878

Мама. Эм... У нас получилось!

00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:30,208

- Морти стал супер видимым.

- Саммер запихнула мои джинсы в лазер.

00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,421

Морти, какие малюсенькие яички.

00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:34,539

- А то!

- Обнимемся, ребята.

00:18:35,686 --> 00:18:37,493

Блин, у этой штуки сдвоенные турбины?

00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,094

Если дашь порулить, то я закрою глаза

на то, что ты нас бросила.

00:18:40,121 --> 00:18:41,650

Идёт. Хотя... я хотела дать тебе

00:18:41,677 --> 00:18:43,537

- космо-сигареты.

- Классно иметь две мамы.

00:18:43,564 --> 00:18:46,295

- Классно иметь две жены.

- Не видать тебе этого, Джерри.

00:18:46,385 --> 00:18:49,451

Ну что, бестолочи, готовы получить

ответы на свои наболевшие вопросы?

00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,866

- Что это, пап?

- Воспоминание о том, какая Бет настоящая,

00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,934

а какая клон, очевидно.

00:18:53,935 --> 00:18:55,639

Ты сделал себе мозговыносяшку? Ты...

00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,774

ты правда не знаешь,

какая дочь настоящая.

00:18:58,775 --> 00:19:00,479

Ну, естественно, кто бы сомневался?

00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,139

Ты явно хочешь, чтобы мы

изнемогали от желания узнать,

00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:04,996

но мне плевать, что в этой стекляшке.

00:19:05,023 --> 00:19:06,056

Да, мне тоже.

00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:07,310

В любом случае ты кусок говна.

00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:09,379

Значит, после всего этого

вы не хотите узнать правду?

00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:11,511

Правда в том, что у нас

есть дела поважнее,

00:19:11,538 --> 00:19:14,003

например, воспитывать детей

или уничтожать Федерацию,

00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:17,101

причём ни то, ни другое

никак не связано с тобой.

00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,284

Морти? Сам-сам? Вы-то хоть желаете

узнать, кто ваша настоящая мама?

00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:24,212

Не очень, Рик.

00:19:24,239 --> 00:19:25,602

У нас теперь две крутые мамы.

00:19:25,629 --> 00:19:26,803

Все в выигрыше.

00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:28,748

Да, деда Рик, не втягивай нас

в своё дерьмо,

00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:30,343

только потому что ты потерял контроль.

00:19:34,747 --> 00:19:36,274

Я знаю, что надо делать.

00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,699

- Сам решай.

- Что?

00:19:38,726 --> 00:19:41,514

Папа, хотя бы раз за свою жизнь,

я хочу, чтобы ты сам решил.

00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,838

Хочешь, чтобы я осталась

частью твоей жизни,

00:19:43,865 --> 00:19:45,597

или хочешь, чтобы я покинула её?

00:19:56,602 --> 00:20:02,151

Я знаю, ты сделал всё, что смог

00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:10,242

Теперь пора нам подвести итог.

00:20:10,269 --> 00:20:12,815

Хап хоу! Деньги на бочку,

00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:15,086

а глазки на дочку. Подменочка.

00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,364

Где какая?

00:20:19,493 --> 00:20:21,424

Твою мать, я ужасный отец.

00:20:26,301 --> 00:20:27,725

Но хороший друг.

00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,972

Похоже, что остались

только мы с тобой, приятель.

00:20:35,594 --> 00:20:37,666

Хорошо, подожду ещё немного.

00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:41,018

...ты тянешь вниз за собой.

00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:44,568

За собой.

00:20:44,595 --> 00:20:51,212

Если уйдёшь, то я уйду с тобой.

00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:58,696

Не смотри назад, там лишь пустота.

00:21:29,878 --> 00:21:32,355

Ах. Прощай, старый друг.

00:21:32,519 --> 00:21:35,639

Было весело, но я готов

снова стать видимым.

00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,461

- Какого хуя?!

- О господи! Куда я пропал?

00:21:41,488 --> 00:21:42,992

Кабздец.

00:21:45,143 --> 00:21:47,204

Тормози! На дороге

00:21:47,231 --> 00:21:48,792

- невидимый мусоровоз!

- Ну конечно.

00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:54,215

Я жив. Я выж...

00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,154

Ну... в чужой монастырь...

00:22:00,991 --> 00:22:04,022

Невидимый мусоровоз Джерри.

00:22:04,049 --> 00:22:06,368

Новая франшиза.

00:22:09,154 --> 00:22:12,195

Твоя работа - сношаться с незнакомцами

00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,507

и отдавать деньги мне, сучка.

00:22:13,534 --> 00:22:15,434

Прости за сучку.

Это профессиональный термин,

00:22:15,461 --> 00:22:16,969

а не личное отношение к тебе.

00:22:17,347 --> 00:22:19,074

Какого... что... что...

00:22:20,693 --> 00:22:22,317

Кого-то тут надо зацепить?

00:22:22,345 --> 00:22:24,313

А теперь выкинем мусор.

00:22:24,651 --> 00:22:27,698

Невидимый мусоровоз Джерри.

00:22:27,725 --> 00:22:30,165

Новая франшиза.

00:22:30,386 --> 00:22:32,780

Пока у него есть бензин.

00:22:39,981 --> 00:22:41,171

Что ж, хорошие были времена.

00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,984

Переведено Сыендуком специально для "2х2".

00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,756

Get us out of here.

I'll hold them off.

00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,050

[ Screaming ]

00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,385

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,762

My name is Beth Smith.

00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,972

Tell your top bugs

the Defiance lives on.

00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,265

I will.

I will.

00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,059

I'll make you a legend.

Blade Smith.

00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,018

Beth Smith.

00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,269

Beth. Beth.

Beth Smith.

00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,313

Okay. God.

It's just such a plain --

00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,232

I'm trying to come up

with a mnemonic device.

00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,983

You could connect it

to not dying.

00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:26,817

I know, I know!

00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,236

You'd think that would sear it

right in,

00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,321

but it just speaks

to the sheer forgettability.

00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,241

Oh, God.

I-I am so sorry, um --

00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,952

Uh -- Oh, God.

Starts with a --

00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,495

Congratulations

to your government, business,

00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,288

or terror cell

on its acquisition

00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,290

of the NX-5 Planet Remover

by Xamazax

00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,125

in partnership

with Wrangler jeans.

00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,337

The NX-5's industry-leading

tachyon beams eliminate planets

00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,797

twice as fast as the NX-4S

00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,508

with half the battery and zero

built-in fatal design flaws.

00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,134

That's right.

No more secret hole

00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,719

that blows the whole thing up

when you shoot it.

00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:54,845

Your enemies will say

it's unfair.

00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,514

We say it's about time.

00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,349

Damn it.

We risked our lives for that?

00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,351

You did your best.

Maybe you need a break.

00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,186

-Don't you ever miss Earth?

-I don't have to miss it.

00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,729

I'm technically still there.

00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,691

My dad made a perfect clone

of me to take my place.

00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:07,817

Boy, that Rick.

00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,736

So, if you do go back,

what happens to the clone?

00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:11,737

Does it have, like,

00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,906

a proximity-triggered device

in its neck?

00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,616

-Who cares? Are we done?

-Sure.

00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,993

Unless you want me to remove

00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:20,204

the proximity-triggered device

from your neck.

00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,664

Think it's a bomb?

00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,374

Man, what if this is

how you found out

00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,001

he never wanted you back,

00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,420

that he loved the clone

more than you?

00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,879

How crazy would that be?

00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,465

Crazy and of -- of course

soul-crushing. For you.

00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,800

I actually have something

for that.

00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,427

Y-You want some?

They're nonaddictive.

00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,429

That's not true.

They're totally addictive.

00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,680

I'm a terrible doctor.

00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,140

I actually have something

for that, too.

00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,100

You want some?

Nonaddictive.

00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,394

Mmm!

I'm a great doctor.

00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,855

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,927

Dr. Wong had a cancellation

today.

00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,346

Anybody up for

a family session?

00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,680

-I could do that.

-I'm -- I'm down to clown.

00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,515

Not sure my therapy puppet

will be done in time.

00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,100

Great, because she specifically

asked you

00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,977

to stop bringing puppets.

Dad?

00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,229

I love therapy --

family therapy most of all --

00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,900

but I am actually

disintegrating.

00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,026

-Oh, my God!

-Whoa! Dad!

00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,861

Is that really it?

We did it?

00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,321

It's the invisibility belt.

00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,698

[ Chair scraping ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,699

He grazed them.

00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,034

That's gonna hurt

in like 10 seconds.

00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,036

-Thanks, Morty.

-Why should I let you use it?

00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,746

-You never let me use it.

-Can I have the belt?

00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,790

-It would really piss off Morty.

-Fantastic idea.

00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,875

What the hell?!

You jerk! Give it!

00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,377

[ Dishes clattering ]

00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,420

-Hey! Ow!

-Share the invisibility.

00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,129

-Jerry?

-JERRY: Ooh.

00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,297

This looks like a job

for Mr. Nibbles.

00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,757

Let me just glue

one more eye on.

00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,884

I'm gonna kill you!

00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,302

Oof.

Looks like you two have to fight

00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,845

about why you can't control

your kids.

00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,389

Good thing Dr. Wong's

got an opening.

00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,224

Bye.

00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,851

-You're a bad father.

-Don't let him divide us!

00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,230

Garage, family therapy mode.

00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,065

Ah.

00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,068

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,403

Honey!

You're back.

00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,654

You seem surprised.

00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,365

-You never wrote.

-And never exploded?

00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,035

What I'm hearing is

that you think that's a bomb.

00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,745

[ Grunts ]

00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,539

So does every engineer

that's seen it.

00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,666

Engineer?

Princess, I'm sure every caveman

00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,751

that sees a microwave calls

it a rock cabinet.

00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,255

The point of inventing is

to make things that don't exist.

00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,798

[ Growling ]

00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,842

[ Beeping ]

00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,302

Then whip me up a reason

not to kill you.

00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,388

BETH:

Dad, we're off to Dr. Wong's.

00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,557

Scan her.

00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,392

[ Robotic voice ]

Dad?

00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,769

RICK'S VOICE:

Okay. Have fun, pumpkin.

00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,479

Sorry I'm a piece-of-shit

father.

00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,441

BETH: Oh! [ Laughs ] Well, the

self-loathing buys a lot back.

00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,608

Jerry, leave the puppet.

00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,986

JERRY: It's a one-way ticket

to a breakthrough, Beth.

00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,280

The device in her neck

would have transferred

00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,990

a database of her memories

to your device

00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,158

before vaporizing her.

00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,617

So much for that plan.

00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,412

Why is she -- it --

why am I back with Jerry?

00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,164

I thought she was a copy of me.

00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,248

She is a copy of you.

00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,418

If she ran back to that

dingleberry, that's on you.

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,878

-Want to grab a drink?

-All the time.

00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,962

Good girl.

00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,131

[ Birds chirping ]

00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,258

Ooh.

00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,640

[ Sniffs ]

00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,938

[ Whirring ]

00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,899

-MORTY: To catch a predator.

-What the hell?!

00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,485

Thermal goggles, bitch.

Mom said share!

00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,737

You can't share invisibility.

Take those off.

00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,989

[ Both grunting ]

00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,824

No!

00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,995

So I'll just see you

at cheerleader practice?

00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,164

Should I bring a poncho?

00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,957

MORTY: All right!

State your terms.

00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,168

Give back the belt.

You take the goggles.

00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,420

Go away.

We trade in an hour.

00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,214

Deal.

00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,466

-[ Glass shatters ]

-How do you like that, bitch?

00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,676

I liked it more

than my old belt.

00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,261

"Tiny Big Man Junior"?

00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,722

You should've shared.

00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,891

What are you doing

in my house?

00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,268

Did I wander that far

from my console?

00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:14,230

They should put a warning

on these things.

00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,773

SPACE BETH:

So, we overrode the gates,

00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,025

and the slave rebellion

took the capital.

00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,652

-Pretty cool.

-Very cool.

00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,530

My daughter,

having space adventures.

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,658

They are skewing

a tad Star Wars-y, though.

00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,867

Don't forget to have fun.

00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,869

Well, I came back to murder you,

not get your notes,

00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,288

but I'll remember to fart more

while I'm saving the galaxy.

00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,207

Okay. I'm the one

that made this possible.

00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,959

-It's not a competition.

-Of course not.

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,043

Just curious, though --

00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,462

If it were, would "most wanted"

be first place?

00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,631

[ Whirring ]

00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,258

You're fighting

the Gromflomites?

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,009

Dad, they're trying to take over

the galaxy!

00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,303

Everybody in the galaxy

tries to take over the galaxy.

00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,931

The trick is to be left alone

by whoever succeeds.

00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,641

Ah, it's your hero phase.

00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,518

I had one, too.

You'll outgrow it.

00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,561

No, you did.

00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,062

I'm not gonna outgrow

giving a shit.

00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,231

Sources tell us these aliens,

who call themselves

00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,442

the New Galactic Federation,

will blow up the planet

00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,820

unless some woman with a very

boring name gives herself up.

00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,113

-Oh, come on.

-Way to give a shit.

00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,948

Next time, don't wipe it

on your home planet.

00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,825

Oh, shit.

They're gonna track down Beth.

00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,702

You mean Beth's clone.

00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,288

Right.

Beth's clone.

00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,164

What -- What did I say?

00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,166

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,835

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,045

It really was nice

seeing you again.

00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,589

Whoo!

00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,757

-[ All cheering ]

-Yeah! Go, Honey Bees!

00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,467

Good practice, girls!

00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,136

And remember,

we are in a drought,

00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,389

so be sure to shower as one big

group at the exact same time.

00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,558

[ Indistinct conversations,

alarm ringing ]

00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,101

Shower fire!

The shower's on fire!

00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,603

Step aside, girls!

I got this!

00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,980

[ Whimpering ]

00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,108

[ Whimpering,

breathing heavily ]

00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,109

[ Grunts ]

00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,527

You're a monster!

00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,613

Still want to share?

00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,656

[ Whirring ]

00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,618

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,494

Morty Smith, hands up.

00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,039

You are under arrest

for crimes against

00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,291

the New Improved

Galactic Federation.

00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,001

Wait. What?

How are you doing that?

00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,378

You're not psychic, are you?

Do you have psychic powers?

00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,880

Uh, yes.

00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:03,964

Are they strong powers?

00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,507

We're just looking

for your mother.

00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,551

You can't, like,

stop our hearts, can you?

00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,719

Uh, I can.

00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,970

Okay.

We surrender.

00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,139

Jerry, do you agree

that the use of puppets

00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,058

makes you seem dumb and crazy?

00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,476

[ High-pitched ]

I don't think "crazy"

00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,561

is a responsible word to use

in --

00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,064

It is now. This is crazy.

You're being crazy.

00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,649

They do it in therapy on TV.

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,318

Well, TV gives British people

prizes for baking, Jerry.

00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,236

[ Explosion ]

00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,530

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,492

-Tammy?

-Tonya? Tammya. Tammya.

00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,701

Hi, Mrs. Smith.

00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,203

I like your hair better

this way.

00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,621

-How's the stomach?

-What?

00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,997

-[ Grunts ]

-Hey!

00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,666

[ Grunts ]

I only said "hey"!

00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,834

It's not like I can do more

than that.

00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,336

As much as I'd like to kill you,

00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,838

my superiors have some questions

about the Defiance.

00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,425

I don't have a --

I have a Defiance?

00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,177

Oh, God.

I'm a clone.

00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,595

That's your defense?

00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,347

No.

My defense is eat me.

00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,473

-Ow!

-Hey! Aah!

00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:59,561

We've been over this!

All I do is say "hey"!

00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,522

Smart guns,

wait-list human life.

00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,982

And the therapist.

00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,150

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,614

Tammy, this is the office

00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,366

where my family works

to better itself.

00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,534

What, and that makes it sacred?

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,202

No, it makes it a place

I've rigged with a lot

00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,204

of voice-activated

escape contingencies.

00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,872

[ Clears throat ]

These are all good points.

00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,582

I need to take a long look

at myself.

00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,292

[ Whirring ]

00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,211

[ Screams ]

00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,714

-I'd like to discuss that.

-I don't discuss problems.

00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,757

I incinerate 'em.

Everybody in the car.

00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:29,925

[ Fire crackling ]

00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,011

Everybody in my family,

not the world.

00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,929

Jesus, Wong.

Boundaries.

00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,806

[ Whirring ]

00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,267

I'm better than this job.

00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,854

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,313

Can't you just make a portal?

00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,065

Your children are down

there invisible, Jerry.

00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,067

"Make a portal"?

Father of the year back here.

00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,695

You're one to talk.

You told me I wasn't a clone.

00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,447

RICK:

Y-You're not a clone.

00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,698

And who is that?

00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,450

Uh -- Uh, a clone.

00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,909

[ Music continues ]

00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,037

[ Woman screams ]

00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,414

Why would you make a clone of me

00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,957

just to send the clone

into space?

00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,709

Well, you didn't want to go,

and I thought,

00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:04,918

"Okay, that's cool."

00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,129

But then I thought, "Well, you

know what would be even cooler,

00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,214

is a space daughter,"

s-so I made one.

00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,258

And I put a bomb in her neck

in case she ever came back.

00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,259

Father of the year!

00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,635

She wasn't supposed

to come back!

00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,386

Why did she?

00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,721

Well, she found a bomb

in her neck.

00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,389

Wouldn't you?

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,017

-Father of the year.

-Shut up!

00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,436

I'm tired of believing you.

I want to talk to her.

00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,396

-No, you don't. [ Grunts ]

-Jerry, do something!

00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,272

Hey.

00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,071

He told me you're the clone.

00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,573

-What do you think he told me?

-You're the clone?

00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,325

Wow.

Naive and attractive.

00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,077

Wow.

Jaded and hot.

00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,244

RICK:

[ Grunting ]

00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,246

I know this is bad parenting,

00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,915

but if you stop fighting,

you both get McDonald's.

00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,959

How about I just blow my brains

out, starting with hers?

00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,336

Okay, Wendy's.

We love Wendy's.

00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,921

I-I think they even gave us

some money.

00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,881

-Drop it. Don't move!

-Freeze! Get down!

00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,591

-[ Indistinct shouting ]

-Everybody, shut up!

00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,468

You're all saying

different shit!

00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,136

Wait.

So there are two of them?

00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,806

More importantly,

which one is mine?

00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,432

Uh, neither, chauvinist.

00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,476

Whatever.

Take them both.

00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,896

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,273

Cool beam.

But let's bargain.

00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,234

-I'm the one you really want.

-Excuse me?

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,860

Uh, smartest man

in the universe?

00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,654

Secret to interdimensional

travel?

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,823

-Ask your bosses.

-My bosses are bugs, Rick.

00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,325

You killed the old ones.

The new ones are half my age.

00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,037

They know if you're left alone,

you're a non-threat.

00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,831

-Oof-a!

-We got the payload.

00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,707

Fire up the NX-5.

00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,750

Earth's going ta-ta.

00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,211

You might want to do that thing

where you find a new universe

00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,879

where you can suck yourself off.

00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,589

-You can't tell me what to do.

-Awesome.

00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,383

He resisted.

We can shoot him.

00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,343

-Wha--

-Just go with it, Jerry.

00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,804

Everybody, drop your guns --

except for Jerry!

00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,390

Fucking classic.

00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,517

[ Whirring, gunfire ]

00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,395

-Holy shit! Morty!

-And Summer!

00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,480

W-We worked together!

That's -- That's our arc!

00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,066

SUMMER: We went from siblings to

invisible to working together.

00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,860

It's not "Citizen Kane,"

but why compete

00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,154

with whatever's going on here,

you know?

00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,614

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,575

-[ Bone cracks ]

-Aah!

00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,619

You made me go to a wedding.

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,373

And you killed my best friend.

I should've said that one first.

00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:11,378

Congratulations, Earth,

on being destroyed by the NX-5,

00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,631

brought to you by Wrangler.

00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,133

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,218

[ Groans ]

00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,179

Guess the galaxy's

most-wanted mammal

00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,181

needs her daddy

to come change her diapie.

00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,182

Come on, kids.

00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,852

We have to go do a fucking

piece-of-shit "Star Wars."

00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,688

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,607

Attention, Zeta 99-2.

00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,859

We know you have a stolen ship.

Stand down.

00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,737

Oh, am I not a non-threat now?

00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,115

[ Grunting ]

00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,368

[ Explosions ]

00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,079

Hey, you are not cleared

to land!

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,415

-We will open fire!

-Hold your ground, men!

00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,541

You'll be heroes!

00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,129

Summer, try unlocking that door

00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,006

by scanning your high-school

friend's dead face.

00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,591

Uh, I have -- I have to pee.

00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,134

Pee on the floor.

It's a Death Star.

00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,470

Okay. But there's rebellion

and then there's --

00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,263

-Here, Dad.

-Perfect.

00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,099

-[ Buzzing ]

-What am I doing wrong?

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,392

Ugh. Her eyes are closed.

00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,270

Morty, open the left one.

I've got the right.

00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,773

She died the way she lived --

overserialized.

00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,566

I'm gonna rescue your mom

and her clone

00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,817

without revealing

which is which.

00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,653

You two find the NX-5

and shut it down.

00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,321

I mean, don't die trying.

There's infinite Earths.

00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,114

If you can save this one,

it's gravy.

00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,532

Dream team rides again!

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,076

Oh, yeah.

We're like Luke and Leia.

00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,577

Uh, except no kissing part.

00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:26,995

What's another famous

brother-sister team?

00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:27,996

Uh, Hansel and Gretel?

00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,623

Yeah, right.

Those two were fucking.

00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,791

Dad, we need the belt.

00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,125

JERRY: I can't go

with you guys watching.

00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,336

-You're invisible!

-What if the pee isn't?

00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,630

You know what?

We don't need invisibility.

00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,382

Working together is our belt.

00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,633

That's our arc.

Let's do it.

00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,052

I'm gonna go ahead and whistle.

That's how good I feel.

00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,595

[ Whistling ]

00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,768

JERRY:

Oh, God. I knew it.

00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,147

Ugh.

This floor isn't level.

00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,649

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,192

Are they gonna torture us?

00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,111

Unless you plan on telling them

what I know.

00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,238

Last chance to guess

who was the clone.

00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,447

You're his daughter.

00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,824

Something about the eyes,

00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,618

the shameless abandonment

of your family.

00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,453

How ever can I live with myself?

00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,248

One theory -- I was designed by

your father to live with myself,

00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,958

which would mean you made

a conscious choice

00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,460

to swallow your dreams with

cheap wine and dinosaur pasta.

00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,004

You know that's the kind

Jerry likes,

00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,214

same way I know the only

goddamn dream you'll ever follow

00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,674

is your shitty father's

approval.

00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,676

You fetch your shitty father's

lemonade.

00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,678

You cosplay as your

shitty father in his 30s.

00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,096

Red alert. Red alert.

00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,265

Rick Sanchez --

[ Choking ]

00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,392

RICK: More like dead alert.

What else? What else?

00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,727

I wrote some stuff down

in my Notes app.

00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,937

Let me just find it.

00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,523

Screw it. Beth, if --

if one of you is still alive,

00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,607

you're my real daughter.

00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,526

If you're both alive,

don't hurt the other one.

00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,278

She's just a clone.

She's not worth it.

00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,362

I'm coming, baby!

00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,698

-That piece of shit.

-What a piece of shit.

00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,533

I came back to kill him,

you know.

00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,701

I'd like to help.

00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,828

-Kick me between my eyes.

-From here?

00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:50,871

Oh, you dropped yoga

00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,123

so you could buy Jerry

more Flintstones Vitam--

00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,208

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,422

Oh, I do not like the looks

of this giant fight chamber.

00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,883

[ Gas hissing ]

00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,969

[ Whirring ]

00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:07,971

Bird Person?

00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,639

It is now Phoenix Person.

00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,601

You're working for them?

What did they do to you, B.P.?

00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,062

It is now P.P.

Where is Tammy?

00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,564

Oh, don't worry about her.

I killed her.

00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,066

I loved her.

00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:19,900

Really?

Huh.

00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,693

Then can I suggest

as an alternate name

00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,320

Crazy Pussy-Whipped Person?

00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,738

[ Screams ]

00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,198

[ Grunts ]

00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,745

Aah!

00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:35,499

[ Whirring, rattling ]

00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,751

[ Grunts, coughs ]

00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,004

It's funny. I always wondered

who would win if we ever fought.

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,256

Then you were always

a bad friend.

00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,384

[ Whirring ]

00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,135

[ Grunts ]

00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,223

Aah!

00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,808

Morty, we had one grenade.

00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,893

-He had a gun.

-Whatever. Come on.

00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,854

-Did you hear something?

-Doesn't matter.

00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,940

If anyone's around,

they're here to stop the laser,

00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,608

and they can't do it

without us seeing them.

00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,068

"Working together is our belt"?

00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,195

-You gave it away!

-You said we didn't need it.

00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,280

-I wish you were never born.

-Well, you were an accident!

00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,157

[ Crowd screaming ]

00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,492

How come some of the pants

are --

00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,869

The NX-5 can't destroy

Wrangler jeans.

00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,081

Like, it literally can't destroy

them or it's programmed not to?

00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,333

Gee, what do you think?

00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,919

[ Both grunting ]

00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,131

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,511

[ Coughing ]

00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,096

[ Grunts ]

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,390

[ Groans ]

00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,600

[ Screeches ]

00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,772

Aah!

00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,441

[ Music continues ]

00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,026

[ Alarm blaring ]

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,820

-Aah!

-Oh!

00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,488

[ Gasps ]

00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,490

[ Grunts ]

00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,325

You kill a good bug

for a horse doctor.

00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,660

Thanks, me.

00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,370

Maybe we could do, like,

a "Parent Trap" thing

00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,371

together sometime.

00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,123

As long as you mean

the Lindsay Lohan version.

00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,166

Naturally.

00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,501

[ Music continues ]

00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,545

What do you think they do

with all those jeans?

00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:04,546

Make them into jackets?

00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,673

It's not about conserving denim.

It's marketing.

00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,717

Like, uh, "The NX-5 destroys

the whole planet

00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,469

except for the Wrangler jeans."

00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,054

'Cause they're so tough.

Tougher than the laser?

00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,848

-Stupid.

-You're talking about it.

00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,516

You're right.

They -- They got me.

00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,893

Hey, over here!

Look at me!

00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,853

Did you just see a pantsless

little boy run by?

00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,271

I'm not falling for that again.

00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,148

I used to be invisible,

but now I'm the opposite!

00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,316

Get him!

But not in a weird way.

00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,650

You made it weird.

00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,487

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:34,034

NX-5 corporate sponsor

detected.

00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,912

Cannot penetrate Wranglers!

Built too tough!

00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,664

[ Distorting ]

Built...too...tough.

00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,959

I killed them!

I-I did -- I did it offscreen!

00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,711

God damn it, Morty.

Fix your underwear.

00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,172

-I saw your balls for a second.

-That's on you.

00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,799

Why can't I meet your parents?

Are you embarrassed of me?

00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,092

No.

Of them.

00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,093

Aww.

00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,054

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,473

[ Groans ]

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,891

[ Grunting ]

00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,018

[ Metal clanging,

electricity crackling ]

00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,228

Aah!

00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,647

[ Screeching ]

00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,566

Aah!

00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,235

[ Grunts ]

00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,779

Never thought

this was how I'd die.

00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,072

[ Slurps ]

We're nowhere near Venice,

00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,615

and you're not a dwarf

in a raincoat.

00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,908

[ Whirring ]

00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,578

Step back.

00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,456

You're not killing him till we

kick his ass, Bird Person.

00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,542

My name is Phoenix Person.

00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,001

No one's calling you that.

Dumb.

00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,920

It fascinates me

that an entire family

00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,215

can be this critical

and suck this much.

00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,592

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,221

[ Grunts ]

00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,145

Aah!

[ Groans ]

00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,981

JERRY: [ High-pitched ]

Bird Person, stop.

00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,400

It's me, that Tammy girl.

00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,777

Tammy, this is unexpected.

00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,320

I was told you were dead.

00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,115

That is absolutely not true.

00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,326

I'm more alive

than I've ever been!

00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,620

You are behaving

rather strangely.

00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,747

Me? Strange?

Oh, my!

00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,624

Well, who's normal, really?

00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,252

Now, come here, you big

hollow-boned featherhead.

00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,504

Let me give you

some of this sweet ass.

00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,007

Aah!

[ Grunts ]

00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,883

[ Screeching ]

00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,678

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,638

[ Whirring, music stops ]

00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,891

Saved the day with puppeting.

Only one with a decent arc.

00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,184

He does have his moments.

00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,395

Mom, Dad...Mom.

00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,647

Uh, we did it!

Morty became super visible!

00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,025

Summer put my jeans in a laser!

00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,027

Morty, look at your

little balls!

00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:35,238

-I know!

-Bring it in here, guys.

00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,324

Damn!

This thing has twin turbines?

00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,743

I'll forgive you for abandoning

us if you let me drive it.

00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,744

That works for me.

00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,203

I was just gonna give you

space cigarettes.

00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,789

-I love having two moms.

-And I love having two wives!

00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:45,957

RICK:

Never gonna happen, Jerry.

00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,667

You jerk-offs ready to get

the answers

00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,294

to your burning questions?

00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,337

What's this, Dad?

00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,504

The memory of which Beth is real

00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,465

and which Beth is a clone,

obviously.

00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,675

You mind-blew yourself?

00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,470

Y-You literally don't even know

which of your daughters is real.

00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,096

Of course you don't.

Why am I surprised?

00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,932

I'm sure you'd love for us

to need that from you,

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,601

but I don't care

what's in that vial.

00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:05,727

Yeah.

Me neither.

00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,020

You're a piece of shit

either way.

00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,105

So what, after all this, you

don't want to know the truth?

00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,149

The truth is we have

more important shit to do,

00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,693

like raise our kids

and stamp out the Federation,

00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,155

neither of which seem like they

want anything to do with you.

00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,658

[ Both laughing ]

00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,034

Morty? Sum-Sum?

00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,994

You got to at least want to know

who your real mom is.

00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,330

Not really, Rick.

We have two badass moms now.

00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,082

-It's kind of a win/win.

-Yeah, Grandpa Rick.

00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,375

Don't drag us into your bullshit

00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,460

just because

you're losing control.

00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,128

Enh.

00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,339

[ Clicks, whirs ]

00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:37,008

I know what I want to do.

00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,510

-I want you to decide.

-What?

00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,179

For once in my life,

I want you to decide, Dad.

00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,640

Do you want me to stay here

and be part of your life,

00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,767

or do you want me to leave?

00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,228

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,521

[ Hisses ]

00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,944

[ Beeping, crackling ]

00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,071

♪ I know you tried ♪

00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:02,367

♪ I know you tried your best ♪

00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,912

[ Sighs ]

00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,582

♪ And now it's time

to put this all to rest ♪

00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,460

Hup! Ho!

Big money, big money.

00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,796

Eyes on the lady.

Switcheroo.

00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,423

Which one's which?

00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,967

[ Music continues ]

00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,803

Holy shit.

I'm a terrible father.

00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,724

♪ Oh, a distant... ♪

00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,767

At least I'm a pretty good

friend.

00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,602

[ Burps ]

00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,730

Looks like it's just you and me,

buddy.

00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,064

[ Beep, whirring ]

00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,191

[ Screeching ]

00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,444

Okay. All right. We'll give you

a little more time.

00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:41,948

♪ Tried to drag me down ♪

00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,492

♪ Down ♪

00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:51,166

♪ If you go,

then I'm going with you now ♪

00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,838

♪ Don't look back ♪

00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,673

♪ Nothing left to see ♪

00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,469

♪ Just leave the shadows

in the past ♪

00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,804

♪ If I let it go ♪

00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:09,517

♪ Can I shake this feeling? ♪

00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,104

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,940

♪ Just like that ♪

00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:21,154

♪ Tomorrow's one day

that I'm never getting back ♪

00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,657

♪ I can feel you, though ♪

00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:29,329

♪ Wake me from this dreaming ♪

00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,332

Ah.

Goodbye, old friend.

00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,627

We've had our fun,

but I'm ready to be seen again.

00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,045

[ Whirring ]

00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:38,963

[ Clattering ]

00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,423

-MAN: What the fuck?!

-MAN: Oh, my God!

00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,467

-Where did I go?!

-Oh, shitskis.

00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:43,885

-[ Door opens ]

-Aah!

00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,386

-[ Engine revving ]

-Slow down!

00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,347

There's an invisible

garbage truck in the road!

00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,431

Yeah, right.

00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,809

[ Fire crackling ]

00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,686

I'm alive!

I survi--

00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,188

[ Explosion ]

00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,357

[ Men screaming ]

00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,443

-I mean, when in Rome.

-[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:03,780

♪ Invisible Garbage Truck

Jerry ♪

00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,865

♪ It's a new franchise ♪

00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,701

[ Motor humming ]

00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,996

Bitch, your job is to have

intercourse with strangers

00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:13,248

and give me the money.

00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:15,208

Sorry I called you a bitch.

It's a vocational term.

00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,960

It's not how I feel about you

personally.

00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,754

-[ Whirring ]

-What the -- What -- Aah!

00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,965

-[ Window whirring ]

-Somebody call for a pickup?

00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,175

Let's go take out the trash.

00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:27,262

♪ Invisible Garbage Truck

Jerry ♪

00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:29,889

♪ It's a new franchise ♪

00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,892

♪ Until he runs out of gas ♪

00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,854

[ Birds chirping,

vehicles passing ]

00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,484

[ Sighs ]

Well, we had a good run.