Промортей

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Твою мать!

00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,375

Что... что это за дрянь?!

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А я по-твоему знаю?

00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,394

Я лишь помню, как сидел в пещере

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и смотрел на какое-то мокрое яйцо...

А, вот в чём дело.

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Я же говорил тебе не смотреть на яйцо.

00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,317

О-оно было слишком мокрым.

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Не указывай, на что я могу смотреть.

00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:40,055

Я видел твой аккаунт на Порнхабе.

00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,355

И зачем вообще

создавать аккаунт на Порнхабе?

00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,555

Так алгоритм лучше

запоминает предпочтения.

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К тому же, если у тебя

классные отношения с партнёром,

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то можно подписаться

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и следить за фетишами друг у друга.

00:00:48,976 --> 00:00:50,396

Ладно, блин, убедил.

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- Как нам отсюда выбраться?

- Морти, расслабься.

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Это паразиты, которые цепляются за лицо.

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Вряд ли мы заблудимся в их обществе.

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Ладно, возможно будет

сложнее, чем я думал.

00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:03,633

Охренеть! У них есть магазин Эм-эн-Эмс.

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Это плохо, Рик. Э-э-э-э-э-это очень плохо.

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Успокойся, Морти.

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Нам просто надо смешаться с толпой,

найти корабль и валить отсюда.

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В общем, Морти, план таков -

цепляй эту штуку обратно на лицо.

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- Я-я не надену её на лицо!

- Успокойся, она дохлая.

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Вот теперь дохлая.

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Давай, в темпе.

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Рик, о-она кровоточит.

П-причём кислотой.

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Теперь точно сдохла.

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А если нет,

то дёрни меня за руку пару раз.

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Похоже на цикл саморазрушения.

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И нас это ждёт?

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Ты чувствуешь яйца в животе?

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- Нет.

- Стакан наполовину полон.

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- Как дела?

- Здаров.

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- Слава Глорзо.

- Точняк.

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Обожаю Глорзо.

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Глорзо - это мир.

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Мир - это Глорзо.

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Ну и ну. Просто винтики в колесе.

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- З-заставляет задуматься...

- Да, Морти, уверен, что ты снимешь

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об этом прекрасную короткометражку,

которую оплатят твои родители,

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но сейчас нам нужно найти мой корабль.

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Ты точно не завидуешь?

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Похоже, я здесь какая-то знаменитость.

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Будущее - это Глорзо!

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О боже. Я только что читал про вас.

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Поздравляю с попаданием

в печатные издания.

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Там тебя ждёт яркое будущее.

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Если честно, то удивительно

видеть вас двоих вместе.

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Потому что мы оба гении?

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Нет, потому что я видел твои видео,

и от тебя блевать тянет.

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Исправить его.

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Слава Глорзо.

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Сэр, не стоит бродить где попало.

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Мы вас повсюду искали.

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Проект ждёт вашего одобрения.

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- Сэр, этот человек беспокоит вас?

- Нет, в-всё нормально.

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А что... что за проект?

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Господи боже, кем я нахрен был?

00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,976

Есть один научный факт,

о котором мне нельзя говорить...

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Наши носители биологически устроены

так, что они выводят наши яйца.

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Если вас это задевает, то идите нахрен.

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А если нет, то ставьте

лайки и подписывайтесь.

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Новые видосы

каждый Глорзедельник.

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Боже, я хоть был богатым?

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М-м-может, я хотя бы продался

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и торговал витаминами?

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Рик, я достаточно просидел на Порнхабе,

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чтобы знать, как выглядит

квартира-студия.

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Твою мать.

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Боже, а твой Глорзо не страдал хернёй.

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Повелитель, мы ждём вашей команды.

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В смысле...

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стрелять? В-в людей?

00:03:36,609 --> 00:03:37,981

Глорзо это мир.

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Все должны стать Глорзо.

00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:40,907

Слава Глорзо.

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Это сделал я?

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Вы и потрясающие технологии,

которые вы оба предоставили.

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Оно и понятно.

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А-а куда эта штука летела?

На Землю? Наверное, на Землю?

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Люди называют планету "Землёй".

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Так, понятно. Во-первых, отличная работа.

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Видно, что вы постарались.

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- Ну да.

- И это видно.

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В-вот прям видно. Но...

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я-я тут подумал, ну и в общем,

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может, лучше всё отменить?

00:04:03,525 --> 00:04:06,077

- Простите... вы хотели что-то добавить?

- Да нет.

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Думаю, что... это всё.

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Не надо глорзить Землю.

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Лучше бы вы сказали об этом раньше,

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тогда весь день не прошёл впустую.

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Ну, я вообще-то тоже узнал

об этом только что.

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- Это был ваш приказ.

- Да. Э-это так, и...

00:04:20,863 --> 00:04:22,675

Просто в следующий раз лучше

вам подумать как следует,

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а то весь полетит в...

00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:26,524

Ладно, прости, что заставил вас

делать свою работу целый грёбаный день!

00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:27,646

А то вы были так заняты,

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- но вдруг пришёл я и всё вам обосрал.

- Ё-моё.

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Хоть этот чувак и гений, но...

какой ценой, да?

00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:34,605

- Да иди ты нахрен, Рик!

- Какой ещё Рик?

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В общем, если можно задавать вопросы,

00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:39,634

то почему вы не моргали минут двадцать,

00:04:39,661 --> 00:04:42,878

и почему ваш рот не двигается,

когда вы говорите?

00:04:45,822 --> 00:04:47,237

Блин, посмотри на меня.

00:04:47,262 --> 00:04:49,133

Я-я упал на... на... на пол.

00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,538

Ой, дай-ка... дай-ка я помогу...

помогу тебе, приятель.

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Спасибо. Спасибо, дружище. Правильно.

00:04:53,499 --> 00:04:56,985

Я прямо... вот здесь... в седле.

00:05:00,145 --> 00:05:01,611

Ай, нахер! Бежим!

00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:26,177

Капец как мне всё это не нравится!

00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:28,939

Спасибо за отзыв, Морти.

Ты очень помогаешь.

00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:35,659

- Твою мать!

- Блин.

00:05:36,741 --> 00:05:38,115

Какой же здоровый город.

00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,454

Типа выбери занятие по жизни.

00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:41,608

Ты кто, лицехват или промышленник?

00:05:44,573 --> 00:05:46,560

Блин, а здорово,

когда нет чувства вины, да?

00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:48,052

Ну да, как... в "Звёздных Войнах".

00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:50,129

Да, как в "Звёздных Войнах".

Флаг вам в руки.

00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,923

Неплохо, Морти!

Закричи "йии-ха", если хочешь.

00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:58,856

А то... а то всегда кричат "йии-хаа",

как ковбои.

00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:00,972

- Йии... йиии-хааа... йиии-хааа.

- Сойдёт.

00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:12,865

Боже, как мне это нужно.

00:06:12,892 --> 00:06:14,555

Если честно, то я давно уже

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не отрывался, понимаешь?

00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:16,854

Не веселился.

00:06:16,879 --> 00:06:18,867

П-п-п-прости, что отыгрывался на тебе.

00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:21,037

Я всё понимаю.

Тебе приходится нелегко, амиго.

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Т-ты бы почаще говорил со мной об этом.

00:06:23,722 --> 00:06:25,381

- Я-я-я же твой напарник.

- Спасибо, Морти.

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Я серьёзно. Спасибо.

00:06:26,592 --> 00:06:28,202

Иногда я зарываюсь к себе в голову.

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Слушай, в голове бывает здорово.

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Только не забывай пускать меня туда.

00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,505

Хорошо, приятель. Охеренно.

00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,064

Боже, как это весело.

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- Не хочу прекращать.

- Как будто лопаешь пузырчатую плёнку.

00:06:52,552 --> 00:06:54,430

Я даже горд, что мы продолжаем.

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Да. А то прослыли бы дешёвками.

00:06:55,812 --> 00:06:58,500

Ага, будто низко-висящий фрукт.

Мы выше этого.

00:07:01,032 --> 00:07:02,636

С другой стороны Пёрл-Харбор...

00:07:02,662 --> 00:07:04,453

Да, думаю можно.

00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:10,347

Я - бог смерти!

00:07:10,372 --> 00:07:12,220

Жаль, что вы такой поганый вид!

00:07:19,075 --> 00:07:21,280

Вы сделали одиннадцатое сентября?

00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,731

Практически.

00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,256

Мы... мы выбрали Пёрл-Харбор.

00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,397

Довольно изящно.

00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:28,788

- Почему вообще были такие варианты?

- Спроси у саудовцев.

00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,223

- Нифига себе.

- Да, вот тебе политика.

00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,074

Я обсуждаю политику.

А что насчёт тебя, Джерри?

00:07:33,099 --> 00:07:35,329

Что добавишь в модель семейных отношений?

00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:37,543

Я вот занялся пчеловодством.

00:07:41,257 --> 00:07:42,544

А что, нельзя?

00:07:42,781 --> 00:07:43,874

Нельзя что ли?

00:07:43,901 --> 00:07:46,177

Я не заслуживаю счастья? И жизни?

00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:47,494

Извините, что не сотворил Пёрл-Харбор

00:07:47,519 --> 00:07:50,087

одиннадцатого сентября до завтрака,

но у меня тоже есть жизнь!

00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,854

- И мечты!

- Ну а Саммер?

00:07:51,882 --> 00:07:52,995

Ей тоже было весело?

00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:59,238

- Саммер... была...

- С нами.

00:07:59,698 --> 00:08:00,525

Там.

00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,338

Ты видела, как мы сажали её в тачку.

00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:05,740

- Ну да.

- Да, да, конечно.

00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:06,893

Т-так всё и было.

00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,718

- А теперь она...

- Спит.

00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:10,609

Она... она спит.

00:08:10,894 --> 00:08:11,893

Крепко спит.

00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,630

- Поэтому её нет с нами.

- Крепко спит.

00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:16,057

Она спит? Что это была за фигня?

00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,362

- Ты вообще не помогал!

- Обосраться ничем не лучше,

00:08:18,389 --> 00:08:20,830

- чем не обосраться!

- Где Саммер?

00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,177

Вот блин.

00:08:26,204 --> 00:08:27,914

А может она слишком жёстко

разделалась с этими ребятами?

00:08:27,939 --> 00:08:29,164

Как думаешь, почему не возвращаемся

00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:30,228

туда, где уже были?

00:08:30,255 --> 00:08:31,672

Сколько приключений у нас могло бы быть

00:08:31,697 --> 00:08:33,538

на планете Судной Ночи?

А в Мире Шестерёнок?

00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,300

Никаких сиквелов.

Вот что называется цельность.

00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:36,467

Вот, надень эту штуку на лицо.

00:08:36,492 --> 00:08:38,574

- Ты её оставил?

- Ой, а ты хочешь новую?

00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:42,212

- Чё как?

- Йоу.

00:08:42,239 --> 00:08:43,999

Вашу мать! Это они.

00:08:44,026 --> 00:08:46,224

Самое ужасное, что было в нашей жизни!

00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:47,560

Оно и понятно.

00:08:47,587 --> 00:08:49,675

Извини, Морти, мы пытались по-хорошему.

Пора пожестить.

00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,467

Рикпьютер, запустить

излишне-понторезную смену костюма.

00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,530

Лизнём киски!

00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,202

А мы не должны искать Саммер?

00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:16,501

Блин, точняк. Извини. Опять меня занесло.

00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:18,470

Боже, мне надо принимать больше глицина,

00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,249

или я наоборот с ним перегибаю.

00:09:28,648 --> 00:09:30,408

Блин, зря я снарядил сюда мечи.

00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:32,240

Ну да. Запястью дико болят.

00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,383

В следующий раз огнемёты.

00:09:34,776 --> 00:09:35,896

Можно мне лазерный кнут?

00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,440

Ладно, но ты по-любому

отрубишь себе член.

00:09:40,556 --> 00:09:42,408

Сам Сам, идём с нами, если хочешь жить...

00:09:42,954 --> 00:09:46,253

в более низком уровне жизни. Блин.

00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,321

Всё в порядке, императрица?

00:09:49,286 --> 00:09:50,554

Взять их!

00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,105

- Взять их?!

- Что?

00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,842

- Саммер, ах ты сука!

- Да ты издеваешься!

00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:57,371

Не знает никто, что я повидал.

00:09:57,887 --> 00:09:58,930

Знаешь эту песню, Рик?

00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:00,441

Это из... Короче, её заключённые поют.

00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,607

Морти, да твою ж мать.

00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:04,469

Я мотаю срок.

И мотать его я могу, как захочу.

00:10:06,595 --> 00:10:08,283

Воу, воу, воу, воу, воу, приятель!

Эй, эй, эй!

00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,569

Не здесь! Не здесь!

00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,604

Дай сюда.

00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:14,475

Оставьте нас.

00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:17,366

И хер ли вы так долго?!

00:10:17,393 --> 00:10:19,323

- Вы меня кинули.

- Мы не знали, что ты была с нами!

00:10:19,348 --> 00:10:21,345

Вы хоть представляете,

сколько я дерьма повидала?

00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,608

Саммер, на тебе накидка.

Неужто всё так плохо?

00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:25,873

С накидкой не бывает плохого конца.

00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:29,057

Да что ты вообще знаешь о моей истории?

00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:34,497

"Я задалась вопросом, действительно ли

Гархул мог поглотить живое солнце,

00:10:34,524 --> 00:10:37,432

или я просто приближалась к Гархулу?

00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:39,006

Может, Гархул поглощал меня?"

00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:40,554

Рик, может, послушаем что-то другое?

00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,087

Тихо! Она сейчас призовёт Гархула.

00:10:42,112 --> 00:10:44,022

Саммер, она уже три серии талдычит

00:10:44,047 --> 00:10:45,254

про призыв Гархула.

00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:47,112

Минуточку, что это у тебя во рту?

00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,117

Зубочистка.

00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:50,192

Я теперь хожу с зубочисткой, привыкайте.

00:10:50,219 --> 00:10:52,245

Боже, тебе так необходима фишка?

00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:54,051

Это моя фишка.

00:10:54,078 --> 00:10:57,169

Как у тебя - сдохнуть в одиночестве,

а у тебя - теребонькать.

00:10:57,197 --> 00:11:00,006

По крайней мере,

это соответствует моему характеру.

00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,513

Я люблю теребонькать.

Мне 14. Есть такой грех.

00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:03,851

- Я тоже теребонькаю!

- Господи боже,

00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:05,410

- я не хочу думать об этой херне.

- Так, хватит. Саммер, пусть

00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:06,190

- будет зубочистка.

- Гадость!

00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:08,089

Морти, перестань разговаривать

со своей сестрой о теребоньканье.

00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:10,147

Сделайте вид, что подкасты это не скучно.

00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:15,448

Ничего себе, Морти, смотри,

какое мокрое яйцо!

00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,419

Не знаю, Рик. По-моему, слишком мокрое.

00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,783

- Н-не трогай его.

- Я его потрогаю.

00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,256

Зачем вы орёте на яйцо?

00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:21,753

Заткнись, Саммер!

Не мешай смотреть на яйцо!

00:11:21,778 --> 00:11:23,061

Да, Саммер, хлебало завали.

00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:24,067

Никому ты здесь не нужна.

00:11:24,094 --> 00:11:25,551

Иногда нам нравится

отправляться в приключение

00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:27,429

- и смотреть на мокрые яйца, ясно?

- Может пойдём?

00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,793

У меня мурашки по коже от этого места.

00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,227

- Охеренно. Крутое яйцо.

- Эй, смотри, моё тоже так может.

00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:32,620

Вы уверены, что это не опасно?

00:11:34,004 --> 00:11:35,154

Боже мой!

00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,950

Глорзо есть всё.

00:11:44,949 --> 00:11:46,529

Глорзо есть всё.

00:11:49,354 --> 00:11:50,397

- Бог.

- Бог.

00:11:50,504 --> 00:11:52,533

Бог? У неё зубочистка.

00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,061

Вытащите её, а лицо засуньте в яйцо.

00:11:55,086 --> 00:11:55,721

- Бог.

- Бог.

00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,097

Вашу мать, сколько вас высиживали?

00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,154

30 секунд?

00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:01,323

Я живу уже семь минут.

00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:03,894

- Думайте, прежде чем...

- Прошу прощения, семь минут?

00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:06,270

Я здесь уже 29 минут.

00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:08,294

Но да, вытащите зубочистку из её рта.

00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:11,999

Живо присоситесь к её лицу,

а тело используйте, чтобы...

00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:16,960

Что это было?

00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,087

Это называется ответственность.

00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:21,276

Он был частью нашего

величайшего поколения.

00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:24,519

Он понимал, что в этой жизни

нужно присосаться к лицу,

00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,122

высрать яйцо и умереть.

00:12:26,149 --> 00:12:29,122

Стоп, значит, вы живёте по полчаса,

высираете яйцо и умираете?

00:12:29,198 --> 00:12:30,809

Да. Мы это любим.

00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:32,221

Я сделаю это прямо сейчас.

00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:38,573

Так, вам необязательно меня слушать,

00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,482

но я за то, чтобы вы этого не делали?

00:12:40,574 --> 00:12:42,689

Кто готов к изменениям?

00:12:51,264 --> 00:12:55,011

Глорзо рождаются из чьих-то яиц,

00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:57,689

это наша участь.

00:12:57,952 --> 00:13:01,854

Мне пора яйцо отложить и умереть,

00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:09,051

но Саммер решила сказать:

"Глорзо хочет, чтобы вы остались."

00:13:09,078 --> 00:13:12,047

Слава Глорзо

00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:15,568

это и моя слава.

00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,901

Как раса Глорзо станет

00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:21,531

свободной лишь от высиживания?

00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:23,984

Слушайте, во мне эта хрень

копилась уже долго.

00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,835

Этими словами я не выиграю

состязание по популярности,

00:13:26,862 --> 00:13:29,213

но... вот таким я вижу мир.

00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,488

Насколько нам известно, всё что мы знаем -

00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:36,432

эту хрень мы придумали сами.

00:13:36,512 --> 00:13:39,381

Слава Глорзо

00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:42,534

это и моя слава.

00:13:42,561 --> 00:13:46,655

Слушайте, мы созданы, чтобы

присасываться к лицам и откладывать яйца.

00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,531

Такова жизнь, и так она протекает.

00:13:56,092 --> 00:13:57,535

Привет, Трой. Привет, Джез.

00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,728

- Как дела?

- Очень хорошо, коммандер.

00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,121

Завтра всё будет готово.

00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:02,582

Рад это слышать.

00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,613

Хорошая работа, слава Глорзо.

00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,475

Не знаю, как тебя и благодарить, Саммер.

00:14:07,753 --> 00:14:10,328

При нашей первой встрече

мы просто срали яйцами в пещере,

00:14:10,353 --> 00:14:13,462

но ты показала нам,

что жизнь это нечто большее.

00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:14,725

Надо наслаждаться жизнью.

00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,844

А с этими ракетами,

00:14:16,966 --> 00:14:19,690

мы доберёмся до любых уголков вселенной.

00:14:19,718 --> 00:14:23,644

Мы постоянно так говорим,

но видимо Глорзо есть всё.

00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:24,858

Да, звучит неплохо.

00:14:24,974 --> 00:14:26,647

- И вы молодцы.

- Да.

00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:28,544

Вы такие молодцы, что я тут подумала,

00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:30,839

может, вам пора слезть с моего брата?

00:14:31,009 --> 00:14:32,541

А кто твой брат?

00:14:32,756 --> 00:14:33,584

А, этот?

00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:35,181

Я и забыл, что он здесь.

00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,783

Погоди. Так что ты говорила?

00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:38,521

Всё было здорово, Стив,

00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:41,101

но мы думаем, что пора

открыть новую главу.

00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:43,226

- Мы?

- Это Шейн.

00:14:43,254 --> 00:14:44,735

Рутинные дела теперь на нём.

00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,249

Это честь познакомиться с вами, сэр.

00:14:46,274 --> 00:14:49,382

Пусть мне всего две минуты от роду,

но я знаю, что вы - легенда.

00:14:50,319 --> 00:14:51,616

Ей плевать на нас.

00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,704

Она просто хочет вернуть

своего хренова носителя.

00:14:53,731 --> 00:14:56,183

- Я не знаю, что делать.

- Теперь тебе нужна моя помощь?

00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:58,724

- Поздновато.

- Ну же, чувак. Ну, что за херня?

00:14:58,751 --> 00:15:00,085

Не надо так со мной.

00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:02,627

- Мы же оба росли в яйцах.

- Давай без этой херни.

00:15:02,654 --> 00:15:04,259

Да, да, да, теперь ты зауважал

00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,138

биологическую структуру?

00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:09,882

Иди нахер. Тебя заботит лишь прогресс,

общество и небоскрёбы.

00:15:09,907 --> 00:15:11,538

А на биологию тебе насрать.

00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:12,950

Чего ты сказал?

00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:15,765

Ты... А почему ты до сих пор

не отложил яйцо в старика?

00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:16,881

Потому что я делаю, что хочу.

00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:18,645

Потому что кто-то должен

поступить правильно.

00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:21,465

- Почему ты её так ненавидишь?

- Потому что она забрала тебя у меня!

00:15:23,453 --> 00:15:25,236

Блин. Господи боже.

00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:27,547

- Нет, я-я не...

- Эй-эй-эй,

00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:29,238

всё нормально.

00:15:30,248 --> 00:15:31,571

У меня те же чувства.

00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,234

О боже. Вот бы...

00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:40,185

вот бы присосаться друг к другу.

00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,762

- Я тоже хочу присосаться к тебе.

- Я так к тебе присосусь!

00:15:42,789 --> 00:15:44,526

- Присосись ко мне!

- А-а-а-а можно?

00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:47,481

- Р-р-разве можно так делать?

- Мне плевать. Я просто хочу тебя.

00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:48,899

Нахер это всё.

00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:50,366

Давай просто свалим отсюда

00:15:50,394 --> 00:15:52,092

и станем теми, кем хотим.

00:15:52,422 --> 00:15:54,886

Это эволюция. Это прогресс.

00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:57,321

Я хочу семью. Мы можем завести семью?

00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:58,646

Да.

00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:16,450

О боже.

00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:17,899

Вашу мать.

00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:20,677

- Что... что это за дрянь?

- А я по-твоему знаю?

00:16:20,704 --> 00:16:22,687

Эй, секундочку.

Откуда ты знаешь, что было потом?

00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:24,600

- Тебя там не было.

- Я сама додумалась.

00:16:24,627 --> 00:16:26,995

В офисе все знали про Стива и Брюса.

00:16:27,022 --> 00:16:29,580

У меня есть план вообще-то.

Так что слушайтесь меня.

00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:32,894

Наказание -

00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:34,767

- смерть.

- Да твою ж...! Саммер!

00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,514

- Ты сказала, что у тебя есть план!

- Тишина.

00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,761

Совет Глорзо сказал своё слово.

00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:40,325

Скорее, совет говна.

00:16:40,352 --> 00:16:42,263

Глорзо - это закон - Тишина.

00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,194

Наказание - смерть.

00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:47,635

Через... запрыгивание в тачку.

00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:48,873

- Саммер?

- Заткнись.

00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:52,082

Да, посадите их в тачку.

00:16:52,148 --> 00:16:53,271

Этих говнюков.

00:16:53,298 --> 00:16:54,926

Нет, нет, нет! Это как пытка.

00:16:54,953 --> 00:16:57,122

Нет, я-я-я-я-я ненавижу сидеть в тачке!

00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,405

Вы это заслужили, куски говна.

00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,905

А чтобы убедиться в исполнении приговора,

00:17:01,932 --> 00:17:03,404

я присоединюсь к ним.

00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:04,778

В тачке.

00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:08,297

Мы уедем отсюда и умрём.

00:17:08,325 --> 00:17:09,967

Короче.

00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,214

Знаете, что я вам скажу?

00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:13,941

Это я, тот нытик,

которого вы никогда не слушаете.

00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,256

Она хочет сбежать со своей семьёй.

Настал мой звёздный час.

00:17:17,284 --> 00:17:18,416

Казнить её.

00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:20,703

Ладно, план Б. Давай, Морти.

00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:26,685

Господи, Морти, ну и херня.

00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,968

Ладно, хватит играть, Морти.

Дальше я сам.

00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:39,484

Вот что мы получили за эволюцию?

00:17:39,511 --> 00:17:41,149

Простите! Извините.

00:17:41,564 --> 00:17:43,902

Мне жаль. Мы-мы-мы думали, что вы злые.

00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,053

С чего это вдруг?

00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,550

У нас на огромной башне

горела надпись "Глорзо это мир."

00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,879

Я знаю. Может... может нам помочь?

00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,419

- Бу-у!

- Помошничек нашёлся.

00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,814

Понял. Валим. Мы поехали.

00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,356

- Вы... вы просто уезжаете?

- Вы сами сказали валить.

00:17:57,383 --> 00:17:59,570

Ещё раз простите за то, что они сделали.

00:17:59,597 --> 00:18:01,028

Ты тоже причастна. Бу-у-у!

00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:03,016

Тебя мы ненавидим больше всех. Валите.

00:18:04,726 --> 00:18:06,335

Господи, Саммер, почему ты

позволила этим гадам

00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,865

- сидеть на нас так долго?

- У меня было много работы.

00:18:08,892 --> 00:18:11,260

В следующий раз

дайте мне дослушать подкаст.

00:18:16,403 --> 00:18:17,664

Как в перчатку.

00:18:20,111 --> 00:18:21,809

Прикольное яйцо.

00:18:27,503 --> 00:18:29,490

Так, я не буду убирать эту херню.

00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:39,224

Может... может об этом

не стоит никому рассказывать?

00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:40,770

Мы усвоили хоть какой-то урок?

00:18:40,797 --> 00:18:42,921

Что мы говно и все остальные говно?

00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:44,640

Сойдёт наверное.

00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:47,138

Покеда, засранцы.

00:18:47,165 --> 00:18:48,314

Зовите в следующий раз.

00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,941

Рик, я понимаю, что ты хочешь броситься

00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,645

в новое безумное приключение,

но может, просто расслабимся

00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,483

и посмотрим межпространственное кабельное?

00:18:57,508 --> 00:18:59,550

- Я только "за".

- По-моему, хорошая мысль.

00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,378

Н-необязательно каждый раз рвать анусы.

00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:03,150

Давай расслабимся и поболтаем.

00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:05,262

- Вот что мне нравится в нас.

- Мне тоже, приятель.

00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,217

Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?

00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:08,985

Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?

00:19:09,012 --> 00:19:10,867

Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?

00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:12,188

Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?

00:19:12,215 --> 00:19:13,598

- Реджи?

- Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?

00:19:13,623 --> 00:19:15,356

Реджи, ты в порядке?

00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,935

Рик, ты чувствуешь...

00:19:17,962 --> 00:19:20,170

Боже, мне надо высрать яйцо.

00:19:20,197 --> 00:19:21,296

Боже, что за нахер?

00:19:21,323 --> 00:19:22,803

Больно. Господи,

00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,675

- Рик, мы умрём вот так?

- Я не знаю, Морти.

00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,541

- Так мы умрём?!

- Я не знаю!

00:19:26,568 --> 00:19:28,140

- Я не хочу высирать яйцо, Рик!

- Прости, Морти.

00:19:28,165 --> 00:19:30,299

Прости! Это моя вина! Я виноват!

00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,276

Эй, вы двое...

00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:33,728

Бет, твой сын умирает. Попрощайся с ним.

00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,182

- Что вы...

- Попрощайся со своим мальчиком.

00:19:36,207 --> 00:19:37,166

Нет, отвернись!

00:19:37,193 --> 00:19:39,895

Мам, я сейчас снесу яйцо. Я снесу яйцо.

00:19:39,922 --> 00:19:41,890

Ты говорил, что в этом году

будешь держать меня в курсе.

00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,920

Отвернись, Бет! Папочка любит тебя.

00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:45,762

Моя жопа! Моя жопа!

00:19:45,789 --> 00:19:46,836

Вот оно, Морти!

00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:49,332

Мы прошли полный круг с пилота.

Полный круг!

00:19:55,616 --> 00:19:56,728

Наверное...

00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:59,811

- наверное, нам обоим надо посрать.

- Да, н-н-наверное...

00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:01,141

Пипец какая гадость.

00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,867

Убирайте.

00:20:36,797 --> 00:20:39,515

Посмотри на своего отца.

Такой дурашка с этими пчёлами.

00:20:41,315 --> 00:20:43,368

Ну, то есть... это хотя бы интересно.

00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:45,903

Вот бы... мой отец занялся пчеловодством.

00:20:47,263 --> 00:20:48,660

Это довольно мило.

00:20:48,685 --> 00:20:51,554

Типа... батя занимается пчёлами.

00:20:53,578 --> 00:20:55,021

Сколько твоему отцу?

00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:57,978

Наверняка у него возраст пчеловода.

00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:03,054

Не знаю, по-моему, это миленько.

00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,231

- Саммер, я хочу трахнуть твоего отца.

- Серьёзно?

00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,976

-Aah, aah!

-[ Screeches ]

00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,108

Oh, my God.

00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,443

Holy shit. Oh.

00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,694

What are --

What are these things?!

00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,196

Do I look like I know?

00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,198

Last thing I remember, I was,

ugh, in a cave

00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,408

looking at some wet egg and --

Oh, that probably did it.

00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,743

I told you not to look

at that egg!

00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,078

I-It was too wet.

00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,412

You don't get to tell me

what to look at.

00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,705

I've seen

your Pornhub account.

00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,332

Also, who makes

a Pornhub account?

00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,584

The algorithm learns your

preferences better that way.

00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,461

Plus if you get in kind

of a cool enough relationship,

00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,088

you can sort

of follow each other

00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,506

and check out

each other's kinks, you know?

00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,174

Alright, God damn, sold.

00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,551

-How do we get out of here?

-Morty, relax.

00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,469

They're face-hugging

parasites.

00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,680

I don't think their society's

gonna be that hard to navigate.

00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,685

Okay, yeah, this might be

a little harder than I thought.

00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,479

Holy shit.

They've got an M&M's store.

00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,607

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,346

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,807

This is bad, Rick.

Th-Th-Th-Th-This is really bad.

00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,267

Just be cool, Morty.

00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,518

All we gotta do is blend in,

find our ship,

00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,478

and get

the fuck outta here.

00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,188

Alright, Morty, here's the plan,

put this back on your face.

00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,857

I-I'm not putting that

back on my face!

00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:48,899

Relax. It's dead.

00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,068

[ Screeches ]

00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,570

Okay, now it's dead.

00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,406

Come on, hurry up.

00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,407

Rick, i-it's bleeding.

00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,908

I-It's bleeding acid.

00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,410

Alright, well, that should

be the last of it.

00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,829

If not, then just gimme

two tugs on the arm.

00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,416

[ Screams ]

00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,209

Seems like a self-destructive

life cycle.

00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,628

Is that gonna

happen to us?

00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,087

You feel an egg

in your stomach?

00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,049

-No.

-Well, glass half full.

00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,175

-How's it going?

-'Sup.

00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,551

-Glory to Glorzo.

-Totally.

00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,802

Love Glorzo.

00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,429

TOWER: Glorzo is peace.

00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,014

Peace is Glorzo.

00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,433

Wow, just cogs in the machine,

y'know?

00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,226

-Ma-Makes you think --

-Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this

00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,187

into a beautiful short film

that your parents'll pay for,

00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,272

Morty, but right now, we really

just need to find my ship.

00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,899

You sure you're not

just jealous?

00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,109

Looks like I'm kind of

a celebrity around here.

00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,903

GLORZO MORTY:

The future is Glorzo!

00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,781

Oh, my God.

I was just reading you.

00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,241

Congratulations on making it

into print media.

00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,868

Real bright future there.

00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,787

Honestly, it's shocking to see

the two of you together.

00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,789

Because we're both

geniuses?

00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,540

No, because I've seen

your videos,

00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,292

and you make me

fucking sick.

00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,002

Fix him.

00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,547

Glory to Glorzo.

00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,882

Sir, you shouldn't

wander off like that.

00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,258

We've been looking

all over for you.

00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,843

The project is ready

for your approval.

00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,553

Sir, is this man

bothering you?

00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,055

Um, no, h-he's fine.

00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,848

Uh, what -- what project?

00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,351

Jesus Christ,

who the fuck was I?

00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,896

Here's a scientific fact

I'm not allowed to say --

00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:13,150

Our hosts are biologically

designed to incubate our eggs.

00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,403

If that "triggers" you,

fuck off.

00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,946

If it doesn't,

please like and subscribe.

00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,781

New videos every Glorzday.

00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,491

God,

was I at least rich?

00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,159

I mean, d-d-did

I at least sell out

00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,661

and sell vitamins

or something?

00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,162

Rick, I've watched enough

Pornhub to know

00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,664

what a studio apartment

looks like.

00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,207

God damn.

00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,668

Jesus, your Glorzo got

shit done.

00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,421

My lord,

we await your command.

00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,505

Oh, to...

00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,215

shoot it?

A-At people?

00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,675

Glorzo is peace.

00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,343

All shall be made Glorzo.

00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,303

SOLDIERS: Glory to Glorzo.

00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,930

I...did this?

00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,434

You and the amazing technology

you both brought us.

00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,810

Yeah, makes sense.

00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,019

A-And where

was this heading?

00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,146

Earth?

Probably Earth?

00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,814

The humans

call it "Earth."

00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,066

Yeah, well, okay,

first of all, great work.

00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,943

You guys obviously put a lot

of work into this.

00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,528

-Okay.

-And y'know, it shows.

00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,613

I-It really shows.

But um...

00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,031

I-I've been thinking,

and, you know,

00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,200

maybe we should

just call this off.

00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,869

Sorry,

is -- is there more?

00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,120

Nope, nope.

00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,038

I-I guess, uh, that --

that's it.

00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,000

Just don't Glorzo Earth.

00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,711

Just would've been nice

to have heard this sooner

00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,379

before we spent

all day on it.

00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,465

Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing

about it, too.

00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,966

-You ordered it.

-Right.

00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,634

I-I did, and, um...

00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,303

I'm just saying for next time,

maybe put more thought

00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,096

into it

before a whole day of --

00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,098

Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you

do your job for a fucking day!

00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,433

You look like you were

all really busy

00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,018

before I came

and fucked it all up.

00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,186

Boy, oh boy, huh?

This guy's a genius, but at --

00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,437

but at what price,

you know?

00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,646

Y'know, fuck you,

Rick!

00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,024

Who's...Rick?

00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,609

Yeah, well, if we're free

to ask questions,

00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,361

why haven't you blinked,

uh, for 20 minutes,

00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:42,948

and why, uh, doesn't

your mouth move when you talk?

00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,994

Ah, geez, look at me.

00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,871

I-I feel down on --

on -- on the floor.

00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,332

Oh, let -- let me, uh, help --

help you out here, buddy.

00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,667

Ah, thanks, man.

Thanks, pal. That's right.

00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,004

I'm right back where -- where --

right back in the saddle here.

00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,884

Alright,

fuck it, run.

00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,594

[ Glorzos screeching ]

00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:24,031

[ Glorzos screeching ]

00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,991

I-I hate this!

I hate all of this!

00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,409

Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback

coming, Morty.

00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,286

It can only help.

00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,126

-RICK: Oh, shit.

-MORTY: Aw, man!

00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,753

MORTY:

How big is this city?!

00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,129

I know,

it's like pick a lane.

00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,173

Are you face huggers

or industrialists?

00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,220

Damn, feels kinda good

when there's no guilt, huh?

00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,638

Yeah, it's --

it's like in "Star Wars."

00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,931

Yeah, just like

in "Star Wars."

00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,891

Go nuts!

00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,522

Nice, Morty! Give a little

"yee-haw" if you want.

00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,399

They -- They always do a little

"yee-haw" like a cowboy.

00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,608

Yee-- Yee-ha-- Yee-haw.

00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,235

Good enough.

00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,454

God, I needed this.

00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,039

Honestly, it's been a while

since I've been able

00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,291

to just let loose,

you know?

00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,834

Just have fun.

I'm -- I'm --

00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,460

I'm sorry if I've been

taking it out on you.

00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,713

No, I get it. You got a lot

on your plate, amigo.

00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,131

I-I just wish

you'd open up

00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,465

to me more about it

sometimes, you know?

00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,967

-I-I-I'm your partner.

-Thanks, Morty.

00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,468

I mean that.

Thank you.

00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,928

Sometimes, I get a little

in my head, you know?

00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,555

Hey, man, that head's

a good place to be.

00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,682

Just remember to let me

in sometimes, you know?

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,018

Will do, buddy.

Motherfucker.

00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,565

Oh, my God,

this is so much fun!

00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,858

I don't want to stop!

00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,318

Yeah, it's like

popping bubble wrap.

00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,954

Honestly,

I'm proud of us for not.

00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,748

Totally.

It would've been cheap.

00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,417

Yeah, real low-hanging fruit,

and we're better than that.

00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,212

Pearl Harbor,

on the other hand...

00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,423

Yeah, I think

that's in-bounds.

00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,929

I am the god of death!

00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,264

Should've been

a better species!

00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,812

[ Both laugh ]

00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,981

So, you did a 9/11?

00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,358

Almost did a 9/11.

00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,901

We -- We went with

a Pearl Harbor.

00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,152

We're pretty classy.

00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,363

Why were either of those

an option?

00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,530

Ask the Saudis.

00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,657

Wow. Damn.

00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,075

Yeah,

getting political.

00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,660

I'm political now.

How 'bout you, Jerry?

00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,120

You got anything to add

to the family dynamic?

00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,539

I've been getting into

beekeeping lately.

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,378

Is something wrong

with that?

00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,712

What's wrong with that?

00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,839

Don't I have the right

to be happy? To exist?

00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,549

I'm sorry I didn't 9/11

00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,802

Pearl Harbor before breakfast,

but I have a life, too!

00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,428

-I have dreams!

-And how's Summer?

00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,348

Did she have fun, too?

00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,266

Oh.

Uh-um.

00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,018

Summer...

was...

00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,269

With us.

00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,688

There.

00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,940

You saw us take her

in the car with us.

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,275

-Mm, yes.

-Yes, yes, of course.

00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,527

Th-That's what happened.

00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,529

-And now she's...

-Sleepy.

00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,656

Um, she's -- she's sleepy.

00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,074

Really sleepy.

That's why she's not here.

00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,242

So sleepy.

00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,743

She's sleepy?!

00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:15,953

What the hell was that?!

00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,705

I didn't see you trying

anything!

00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,248

Shitting the bed isn't better

than not shitting the bed!

00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,958

Where's Summer?!

00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,754

Geez.

Oh, man.

00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,506

You know, maybe we went

too hardcore on these guys.

00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,757

Yeah, why do you think

we never go back

00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,342

to a place

we've already been?

00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,760

Do you know how many adventures

we could get out

00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,137

of Purge Planet, Morty?

Gear World?

00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,805

I don't sequel.

It's called integrity.

00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,223

Here, put this back

on your face.

00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,642

-You kept it?

-Oh, did you want a new one?

00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021

-'Sup?

-Yo.

00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,772

Oh, shit.

It's them!

00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,899

The worst thing

to ever happen to us!

00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,317

Yeah, that makes sense.

00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,527

Sorry, Morty,

we tried pussin' it.

00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,154

Time to go in hot.

00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,364

Rickputer, initiate

unnecessarily badass suit-up.

00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,210

Let's lick tits.

00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,094

Shouldn't we be

finding Summer?

00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,346

Oh, right, gee, sorry.

I got caught up again.

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,182

God, d-do I need

to take more Adderall,

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,267

or am I taking

too much Adderall?

00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,194

Man, really shouldn't have gone

with swords.

00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,987

I know.

My wrists are killing me.

00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,406

Flame-throwers next time,

for sure.

00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,033

Can I get a laser whip?

00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:40,204

Okay, but there's no way

you don't chop your dick off.

00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,664

Sum Sum, come with us

if you want to live...

00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,917

at a lower standard than this,

I guess.

00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,335

God damn.

00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,921

-Empress, is everything alright?

-Ummm...

00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,255

seize them!

00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,590

-Seize them?!

-What?!

00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,467

-Summer, you bitch!

-You gotta be kidding me!

00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,429

♪ Nobody knows the trouble

I've seen ♪

00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,847

You know that song,

Rick?

00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,099

From the --

When the prisoners sing it?

00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,642

Come on, Morty,

for fuck's sake.

00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,228

It's my jail time.

I-I can spend it however I want.

00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,313

[ Harmonica playing ]

00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,773

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!

Hey, hey, hey!

00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,108

Not in here!

Not in here!

00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,235

Aw...

Gimme that.

00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,322

Leave us.

00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,032

What the fuck

took you so long?!

00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,075

You left me here.

00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,118

We didn't know

you were with us!

00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,911

Do you know how much shit

I've had to deal with?

00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,204

You're in a cape, Summer.

00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,330

How bad could it be?

00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,541

No bad story

ends with a cape.

00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,669

You don't know anything

about my story.

00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,921

WOMAN:

"I couldn't help but wonder,

00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,299

was Gharkhul really capable

of consuming a living sun,

00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,136

or was I simply getting

too close to Gharkhul?

00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,679

Was Gharkhul consuming me?"

00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,180

Rick, can we listen

to something else?

00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,807

Quiet! She's just about

to summon Gharkhul.

00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,517

She's been talking about

summoning Gharkhul

00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,977

for three episodes,

Summer.

00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,728

Wait a minute,

what's that in your mouth?

00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,105

It's a toothpick.

00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,898

I'm a toothpicker now.

Get used to it.

00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,900

God, are you that desperate

for a thing?

00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,735

It is my thing.

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,864

Just like yours is dying alone

and yours is jerking off.

00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,700

At least jerking off tracks

for my character, you know?

00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,119

I like to jerk off.

I'm 14. I own it.

00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,662

-Well, I jerk off, too!

-Alright, stop.

00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,289

Jesus Chris, I don't wanna think

about that shit.

00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,957

-Summer, keep your toothpick.

-Gross!

00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,500

Morty, stop talking to

your sister about jerking off.

00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,835

Everyone pretend podcasting

isn't boring.

00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,129

[ Creature cawing ]

00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,215

Whoa, Morty, look how

wet this egg is.

00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,217

I dunno, Rick.

That looks a little too wet.

00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,635

-D-Don't touch it.

-Oh, I'm gonna touch it.

00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,053

Why are you guys screaming

at an egg?

00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,388

Shut up, Summer!

Just let us look at an egg!

00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,764

Yeah, Summer,

shut the fuck up.

00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,349

-Fucking shit.

-Nobody wants you here.

00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,851

You know, sometimes we like

to go on adventures

00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,186

-and look at wet eggs, you know?

-Can we just go?

00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,395

This place is giving me

the creeps.

00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,688

Holy shit.

I love this egg.

00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,898

Hey, look,

mine's doing it, too.

00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,525

Are you guys sure

that's safe?

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,569

Oh, my God!

00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,239

[ Screeches ]

00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,074

All is Glorzo.

00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,080

All is Glorzo.

00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,790

[ Screeches ]

00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,083

-God.

-God.

00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,211

God?

She has a toothpick.

00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,213

Take it out and put her face

in an egg.

00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,797

-God.

-God.

00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,633

For fuck's sake, how long

have you been hatched?

00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,884

30 seconds?

00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,178

I've been alive

seven minutes.

00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,597

-Think before you --

-Excuse me, seven minutes?

00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,891

Uh, I've been here

for 29 minutes.

00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,018

But yes, take the toothpick

out of her mouth.

00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,313

Suck on her face this instant

and use her body to --

00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,690

[ Screams ]

00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,735

What was that?

00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,946

That is called

responsibility.

00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,989

He was part of

our greatest generation.

00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,159

He understood that what you need

to do is suck on a face,

00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,953

shit an egg, and die.

00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,704

Wait, so, all you do is live

half an hour,

00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,830

shit eggs, and die?

00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,457

Yes.

We love it.

00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,917

I'll do it right now.

00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,460

[ Grunting ]

00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,921

[ Screams ]

00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,173

Okay, you guys don't have

to listen to me,

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,259

but I vote you don't do that?

00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,761

And who's up for

changing things around here?

00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,646

GLORZO SINGER: ♪ Well, I was

hatched from an egg ♪

00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,815

♪ Laid by some guy ♪

00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,818

♪ 'Cause that is Glorzo's way ♪

00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,738

♪ And then it came time

to lay my own egg and die ♪

00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,282

♪ But Summer, she said ♪

00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:08,662

♪ "Hey, Glorzo

wants you to stay" ♪

00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,665

♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪

00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,168

♪ Means glory to me ♪

00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,878

♪ If we're only making eggs ♪

00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:21,049

♪ Are we ever making

Glorzo free? ♪

00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,719

Alright, look, uh, this shit's

been brewing for a while.

00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,638

I'm not gonna win any popularity

contests by saying it,

00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,974

but here's --

here's the world as I see it.

00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,642

GLORZO SINGER:

♪ And for all we know ♪

00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,269

♪ Everything we've known ♪

00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:36,231

♪ Is just some shit

we made up ♪

00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,109

♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪

00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,571

♪ Means glory to me ♪

00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,656

♪ We got too many eggs

and not enough society ♪

00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,742

I mean, look, we are designed

to suck on faces and lay eggs.

00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,494

Life is life,

and that's the way it goes.

00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,336

GLORZO MORTY: Hello, Troy.

Hello, Jez.

00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,379

-GLORZO MORTY: How is it going?

-Really good, commander.

00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,881

Should be ready by tomorrow.

00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,174

That is what

I like to hear.

00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,301

Great work,

Glory to Glorzo.

00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,512

Honestly, Summer,

I can't thank you enough.

00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,140

When we met, we were just

shitting eggs in a cave,

00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:13,143

but you showed us life

is about more than that.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,686

It is about living.

00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,646

And now,

with these missiles,

00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,441

we will be able to reach

the entire universe.

00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,403

We say it all the time,

but I guess all is Glorzo.

00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,613

Yeah, that sounds great.

00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,323

-And you've been great.

-Yeah.

00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,325

You've been so great

that I've been thinking

00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,744

maybe it's time for you

to get off my brother.

00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,245

Who's your brother?

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,455

Oh, this?

00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,915

Forgot he was there, haha.

00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,583

Wait.

What are you saying?

00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,418

I'm saying that you've

been great, Steve,

00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,879

but we've been thinking

it's time for a new chapter.

00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,756

-We?

-Uh, this is Shane.

00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,424

He'll be handling

the day-to-day.

00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,093

It's an honor

to meet you, sir.

00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,304

I might only be two minutes old,

but I know you're a legend.

00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,390

She doesn't care

about us.

00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,475

She just wants her fuckin'

host back.

00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,852

-I don't know what to do.

-Oh, now you want my help.

00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,229

-Too late for that.

-Come on, man.

00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,480

What is this shit?

00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,815

You don't get to

do this to me.

00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,233

We were in eggs together.

00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,734

Oh, fuck since

we were in eggs.

00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,985

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

now you respect, like,

00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,779

the biological

institutions now?

00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,155

Fuck you.

All you care about

00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,616

is "progress"

and society and skyscrapers.

00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,368

You don't care about

fuckin' biology.

00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,286

Oh, yeah, well, what

the fuck?

00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,455

You -- How you you haven't laid

and egg inside this old man yet?

00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,082

Because I do what I want.

00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,291

Because someone's gotta

stand up for what's right.

00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,584

Why do you hate her

so much?

00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,171

Because she took you away

from me!

00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,006

Whoa, man.

Jesus Christ.

00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,551

-No, I-I didn't, I --

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,928

It's cool.

00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,805

I feel the same way.

00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,228

Oh, my God, I...

00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,855

I wish we could suck

on each other.

00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,482

-I wanna suck on you, too.

-I'm gonna suck you so hard.

00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,192

-Suck me.

-C-C-Can we do this?

00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,610

A-A-Are we allowed to

do this?

00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,404

I don't care.

I just want you.

00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,697

Fuck all of this.

00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,031

Let's just get the hell

outta here

00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,033

and be whatever

the fuck we want.

00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,578

That's evolution.

That's progress.

00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,164

I want a family.

Can we have a family.

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,999

Yeah.

00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,508

-Aah, aah!

-[ Screeches ]

00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,016

Oh, my God.

00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,893

Holy shit.

Oh.

00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,102

What are --

What are these things?!

00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,187

Do I look like I know?

00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,355

Hey, wait a second.

How'd you know that last part?

00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,316

You weren't there for that.

I had to fill in some gaps.

00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,568

Everyone around the office

knew about Steve and Bruce.

00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,405

I've got a plan, okay.

You just have to follow my lead.

00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,824

The punishment is...

00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,284

-death.

-Motherfucker. Summer!

00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,203

-You said you had a plan!

-Silence.

00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,455

The council of Glorzos

has spoken.

00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,831

More like

council of shit.

00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,958

-Glorzo is law.

-Silence.

00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,794

The punishment is death.

00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,297

By...

getting into their car.

00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,924

-Summer?

-Shut up.

00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,760

Yes, place them in the car.

00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,053

Those pieces of shit.

00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,804

No, no, no!

This is like torture.

00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,890

No, I-I-I-I hate being

in my car.

00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,518

You deserve it,

you pieces of shit.

00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,520

And to make sure

the sentence is passed,

00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,396

I shall be joining them.

00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,856

In the car.

00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,817

And we shall drive away

from here and die.

00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,319

Oooookay.

00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,946

Guess what, everybody.

00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,698

It's me, the whiny guy

you never want to hear from.

00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,742

She's trying to escape

with her family.

00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:16,910

My time to shine.

00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,453

Execute her.

00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,122

Okay, plan B.

Morty, now.

00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,791

[ Harmonica plays ]

00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,668

Aah!

00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,419

Jesus, Morty, that sucks.

00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,671

Alright, stop playing,

Morty.

00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,130

I-I got this.

00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,549

[ Harmonica plays

over speakers ]

00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,841

Aah!

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,677

[ Glorzos gasping, screaming ]

00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,182

GLORZO: This is what we get

for evolving?

00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,351

Sorry!

Sorry.

00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,520

I-I'm sorry. We -- We --

We thought you were evil.

00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,230

Why would you think that?

00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:48,191

We had a giant tower

that blared "Glorzo is peace."

00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,734

I know.

I -- Should -- Should we help?

00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,819

GLORZO #1 : Boo!

00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,070

GLORZO #2:

Oh, like that's helping.

00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,905

Got it. Going.

Okay, we're gonna hit the road.

00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,075

-You're -- You're just going?

-You told us to go!

00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,286

Once again,

I'm so sorry for what they --

00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,787

You're part of this, too.

Boo!

00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,038

We hate you the most.

00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,332

Get out.

00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,959

Jesus, Summer,

why'd you let these things

00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,210

stay on us for so long?

00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,795

I was working with a lot.

00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,423

Just let me listen

to the podcast next time.

00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,429

Nailed that landing.

00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,264

[ Grunts ]

00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,683

Huh.

Neat-looking egg.

00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,810

[ Glorzo screeches ]

00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,274

Okay, well, I'm not

cleaning up this shit.

00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,985

[ Grunts ]

Aah!

00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,992

Maybe we, uh -- Maybe we don't

tell people about this one.

00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,493

Did we at least

learn something?

00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,746

That we suck

and everyone sucks?

00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,498

I guess that counts.

00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,791

Later, chodes.

00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,543

Hit me on the next one.

00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:52,881

You know, Rick,

I'm sure you wanna jump

00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,425

into another crazy adventure,

but can we just relax

00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,218

and maybe watch

some interdimensional cable?

00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,262

-I'm cool if you are.

-Honestly, that sounds great.

00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,139

W-We don't need to try so hard,

you know.

00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,932

Let's just take it easy

and riff, you know.

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,101

-That's what I love about us.

-Me, too, buddy.

00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,020

MAN #1 : Do you suffer

from Alzheimer's?

00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,772

Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?

00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,148

Do you suffer

from Alzheimer's?

00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,775

Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?

00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:12,984

MAN #2: Reggie?

00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,152

MAN #1 : Do you suffer

from Alzheimer's?

00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,403

MAN #2: Reggie,

you alright in there?

00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,489

-[ Growling ]

-Mm, Rick, do you feel...

00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,949

Oh, God,

I have to shit an egg.

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,201

Oh, my God, oh, shit.

00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,577

Oh, it hurts.

Oh God,

00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,287

is this how we die, Rick?

Is this how we die?!

00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,747

I don't know, Morty.

I don't know! Aah!

00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,040

I don't want to shit an egg,

Rick!

00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,333

I'm sorry, Morty. I'm sorry!

00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,709

It's my fault.

It's all my fault!

00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,960

Hey, you two. Did you --

00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,421

Beth, your son is dying!

Say goodbye!

00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,382

-What are you --

-Say goodbye to your little boy!

00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,841

No, look away!

00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,010

I'm making an egg, Mom.

I'm making an egg!

00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,554

You said you'd keep me more

in the loop this year.

00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,973

Look away, Beth!

Daddy loves you!

00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,266

My ass!

My ass!

00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,518

This is it, Morty!

00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,186

It's full circle

from the pilot.

00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,479

Full circle!

00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,272

[ Both scream, fart ]

00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,524

[ Grunts ]

00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,901

[ Sighs ]

00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,653

Oh, I guess we, uh --

00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,904

I guess we both just had

to take a shit.

00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,572

Yeah,

I-I-I guess we, uh...

00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,865

Fucking gross.

00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,909

Guys, clean it up.

00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,079

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,235

-[ Bees buzzing ]

-Look at your dad.

00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,655

Such a dork, keeping bees.

00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,991

I mean, it's -- at least

it's interesting, though.

00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,410

At least, like --

I wish my dad kept bees.

00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,079

I mean,

it's kind of cute.

00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:52,959

Like...

your dad keeps bees.

00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,503

How old is your dad?

00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,674

He's obviously

beekeeping age.

00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,594

I don't know,

I think it's kind of sweet.

00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,514

Summer, I want to

fuck your dad.

00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,891

Oh, really?