Рикман с камнем

00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:07,490

сделай одолжение и поставь на беззвучный.

00:00:07,510 --> 00:00:09,940

Это называется "Carpe Diem", Морти.

Посмотри в словаре.

00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,220

Сама посмотри! Ты вообще не знаешь,

что это значит.

00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:16,450

Потому что пока неудачники ищут что-то в

словаре, все остальные карпуют все диемы.

00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,000

Послушай свою сестру, Морти.

Жить - значит рисковать всем.

00:00:19,030 --> 00:00:23,630

В противном случае, ты - просто вялая кучка беспорядочно

собранных молекул, плывущих по течению вселенной.

00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:27,280

Ой, прости, Джерри, я тебя не заметил.

Ты много успел услышать?

00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:29,710

Всё. Ты смотрел прямо на меня.

00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:32,440

Я просто хотел попрощаться с детьми.

00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:35,750

Круто. Только стой на улице. Киллботы

включены, и я исключил тебя из белого списка.

00:00:35,850 --> 00:00:37,970

Но мы время от времени будем

видеться по выходным, да?

00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:42,100

Конечно, Морти. А ещё адвокат твоей мамы говорит,

что если я буду приносить достаточно денег,

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то он поможет мне добиться полной опеки.

00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:47,770

Было бы здорово. Эмм, Саммер?

Папа уходит.

00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:48,280

Пока, пап.

00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:52,440

Рик, ты вроде бы говорил, что тебе нужна моя

срочная помощь в приключении в каком-то месте...

00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,020

Всё равно. Даже если мы погибнем.

00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,106

Не говорил, но если ты действительно

такая отчуждённая,

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то я готов воспользоваться этим, как и всякий человек,

церковь, армия или олимпийский тренер по гимнастике.

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Я готова, только скажи.

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Сука, я был готов ещё вче...

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Пока, милая.

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Ладно, мне лучше...

00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,440

Конечно. Звучит очень важно.

00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:15,990

Если ты ищешь детей, то твой отец

сделал... портал?

00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,150

Ладно.

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Неудачник.

00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:31,710

Что?

00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,760

Ау?

00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:03,080

Автор перевода Женя Спицын

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Морти, стреляй в чувака с ирокезом.

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Они все с ирокезами!

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Сбрито по бокам, салатового оттенка со

светло-голубыми участками и каскадом на макушке.

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В него стреляй!

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Поджигайте.

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Блядь!

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За дело, Морти!

00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,630

Дай свою фляжку!

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Охереть! Саммер решает!

00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,070

Я пиздец как обожаю пост-апокалиптические

версии Земли!

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Мы на месте.

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Изотоп-322.

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Эта штука такая мощная, что на её фоне

изотоп-465 выглядит, как изотоп-317.

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Ага. А её мощности хватит, чтобы не дать

тем чувакам убить нас?

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Саммер?

00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,310

Ждите, я хочу попробовать кое-что.

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Рик, а можно мы не будем уходить

без моей сестры?

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У тебя бесконечное число сестёр, Морти. В смысле,

не то, чтобы я хотел весь день искать новую.

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Сам-Сам, пойдём.

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Дедушка начинает всё меньше

беспокоится о твоей безопасности.

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Твоя кровь станет моим лосьоном.

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Ого!

00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:24,620

Это было круто!

00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:27,650

Убей меня, прошу.

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Ладно, но не потому что

ты меня об этом попросил.

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Саммер!

00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:32,920

Мда уж, становится мрачнее.

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Господи боже, Саммер.

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Ой, да хорош.

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Держи руки и мелких чуваков на плечах

так, чтобы я их видел.

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Я - Кровоизлияние.

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Вы избавили нас от слабой крови

и сделали нас сильнее.

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Мы можем объединить наши силы и вместе

поживиться слабыми.

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К-к-какого хрена ты несёшь?

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Они не будут пытаться убить нас, если

мы присоединимся к ним.

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По сути они - зассыхи.

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Да что с тобой такое?

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Ладно, замораем руки.

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Оу, ого, а что это за...

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Что это за безделушка у вас там? Интересно.

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Это наш сияющий камень.

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Мы возим его с собой ради святотатства,

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чтобы напоминать себе, что

богов не существует.

00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,900

Дети, странное предложение...

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Пусть это будет нашей новой жизнью. Давайте

станем пост-апокалиптическими мусорщикамиии!

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Ладно.

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Что?

00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,330

Дедушка, несколько Преследователей Смерти собираются

в бывший Сиэтл охотиться на бывших людей.

00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:30,930

Я с ними.

00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,126

Звучит неплохо. Пей побольше воды.

00:04:32,150 --> 00:04:34,806

Послушай, Рик, Саммер ведёт себя довольно

безумно в последнее время, в смысле...

00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:36,670

П-по-моему, развод сказывается на ней.

00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:39,610

И я не думаю, что сейчас это подходящее

для неё место.

00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:42,240

Не будь таким высокомерным,

профессор Высоцкий.

00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:45,470

Пусть этот мир и неидеален, но

есть в нём свой шарм.

00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:47,170

Бицепс или квадрицепс?

00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:49,200

Эм, кхм-кхм, бицепс.

00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:59,520

Серьёзно, Рик? Тебе проще есть человеческую плоть,

чем сказать мне, почему мы до сих пор здесь?

00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,030

Нет, ладно, я тебе всё расскажу.

00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,280

Видишь этот камень, Морти?

00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:07,520

Где-то 10 кг той штуки, крупицы которой

я находил с большим трудом.

00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:08,980

Изотоп-322.

00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,570

Десятикилограммовый булыжник

лучше, чем крупица.

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Я объясню все расчёты позже, но...

00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,220

Саммер только что ушла с незнакомцами,

в названии которых есть слово "Смерть".

00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,900

А вторая часть названия - "преследователи".

00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,810

Для неё это может быть полезно.В последнее

время она вела себя довольно безумно, Морти.

00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,760

Как бы у неё родители разводятся.

00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:25,090

Чёрт возьми, Рик, именно это...

00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:27,550

Ладно, просто забери эту хрень,

00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,090

я заберу её, и давай С.О.

00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,000

Нет, нет, Морти. В стане врага очень жарко.

00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,590

Мне нужно, чтобы ты отвлёк лагерь.

00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:34,240

Отвлёк?

00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,870

Они едят друг друга. Как я по-твоему

должен привлечь их внимание?

00:05:36,890 --> 00:05:37,880

Кукольное представление показать?

00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:41,230

Отличная мысль, но не тот жанр, Морти.

Эквивалентом будееееет...

00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:45,450

Эй, народ, вы пользуетесь этим куполом,

или он у вас ради красоты?

00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,000

Эм, ты хотел сказать "кровавый купол"?

00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,150

Расскажи это семантическому

куполу, грамотей.

00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,040

Жги!

00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,830

Главный вопрос в том,

00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:56,380

кто хочет подраться с моим СпиноГрызом?

00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,490

Тогда я жду ваши задницы в том куполе!

00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,840

Рик, какого чёрта, блин? Ты спятил?

00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,910

Морти, расслабься. Тебе не будет равных.

Пойдём.

00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,670

Этот прибор вытаскивает и перераспределяет

мышечную память.

00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:12,740

Твоё тело получит десятилетний курс

ведения боя в пустоши по одной руке за раз.

00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,070

У меня тут полная солянка, так что, возможно, у

тебя не будет идеальной координации, Морти...

00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:17,850

Эй!

00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,040

Я-я-я этого не делал.

00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,630

Ладно, это интересно. Мы совершаем новые

открытия о мышечной памяти.

00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:25,680

Помогите! Помогите!

00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:27,660

Круто, чувак!

00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,870

Итак, начинается, мои красотули!

00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,000

Боже! Стой! Стой! Это ужасно!

00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:37,790

Упрись в землю и двиииииигайся, Морти.

Измотай его!

00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,310

Почему вы нарядились, как

каскадёры в парке развлечений,

00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:46,396

а эти ребята носят штаны цвета

хаки и хоккейные свитера?

00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:49,380

После бабаха кто-то приспособился

к новым истинам,

00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:51,720

а кто-то решил свернуться

калачиком в бухнутых ямах,

00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,470

цепляясь за ложь стародавних времён.

00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,610

Из-за ядер-лучей они прогнили,

00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,920

оставив им лишь любовь к рекламе

на рекламной доске.

00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:03,670

Господи, ваши бабахи взорвали

все книги с буковками?

00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,130

Ты про словари?

00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:14,430

Мне кажется, я был ребёнком до бабахов.

00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,910

Мне кажется, я выглядел так.

00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:18,180

Хочешь нассать на него?

00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:19,410

Читаешь мои мысли.

00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,500

Невероятно!

00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:24,590

Новый чемпион!

00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:25,920

Ладно, хватит.

00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,570

И он хочет ещёёёё!

00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:29,590

Не надо!

00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,760

Кто-нибудь, остановите это!

00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:35,240

Мистер, прошу, уходите или погибните!

00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,160

Я тут не причём!

00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,280

Морти?

00:07:40,550 --> 00:07:41,890

Зачем ты это захотел?

00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,130

Тебе надо было просто уйти.

00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,060

Хватит стоять на улице

и говорить про опеку!

00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:51,150

Либо скажи ей, что не хочешь разводиться,

либо двигайся дальше, но что бы ты ни делал,

00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,030

хватит быть ребёнком и

веди себя, как мужик!

00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:58,130

Спасибо.

00:07:58,530 --> 00:08:00,130

Морти, это было потрясающе.

00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,250

Это - мой брат!

00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,110

Не то, чтобы семья что-то значила!

00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,570

Но эта семья значит.

00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,140

Класс, отличная работа, чемпион.

00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:11,400

Эмм, можно поговорить с вами вон там?

00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:13,960

Рик, п-п-по-моему, я кое-чего добиваюсь.

00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:15,340

Давай пока не будем уходить?

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:15,910

Уходить?

00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:16,720

Я никуда не уйду.

00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:20,800

Уйти нельзя. Либо мы вместе,

либо мы - враги.

00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:23,060

Ой, здоровяк, нет. Никто никуда не уходит.

00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:25,910

Не говорите глупостей, нам нравится

быть вместе.

00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,870

Нам нравится радиация и трихиноз.

00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,590

Мы тут на всю жизнь, то

есть лет на 20 в среднем.

00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:34,090

Просто мне надо немного поговорить со своими

внуками в 40 метрах от всех остальных.

00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,060

Эй, зелёный камень пропал!

00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,420

Давайте разделимся и поищем его

в группах по три человека? Дети?

00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,640

Ууу, мы скоро вернёмся.

00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,200

Дедушка, ты - большой дурак.

00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,800

Просто сдайся, и наши

друзья сжалятся над тобой!

00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,030

Поцелуй меня в жопу, Саммер!

00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:58,390

Твои друзья не знают жалости!

Они отстой!

00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:02,020

Преследователи Смерти, принести мне его

плотскую кожу!

00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,860

Извини, может, не будем его убивать,

а возьмём в плен?

00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,240

Когда я потерял над всем контроль?

00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,020

Послушайте, дети, вам обоим нужно

убраться из этого окружения,

00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,176

чтобы мы смогли нормально разобраться

с разводом ваших родителей.

00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:18,650

Либо же я просто прыгну в чёртов портал

и оставлю вас здесь навсегда.

00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,656

Почему это обязательно должен быть такой

драматический выбор?

00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:24,400

Может, мы будем приезжать сюда по выходным...

или приходить домой, чтобы постирать одежду?

00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:28,380

Ладно, знаете что? В пизду!

00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,750

Моё тело - хром!

00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,080

Моя кровь - бензин!

00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:38,070

Нет, обычная кровь.

00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,030

Пап?

00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:39,850

Привет, милая.

00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:40,500

Где дети?

00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,790

Разве они не с тобой?

00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,290

Я... я думала, они были с тобой.

00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,710

Ой, знаешь что? Я вдруг вспомнил, что

они заняты чем-то обычным и детским.

00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:48,360

Не паникуй.

00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:48,930

Не паникую.

00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,240

Совсем. Просто...

00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,010

Боже, что же развод делает с детьми.

00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,920

Что он делает со мной! Я совершила ошибку?

00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:56,260

Ничего подобного, нет!

00:09:56,610 --> 00:09:58,690

Не то, чтобы я ставил на

лошадь в этом забеге, но...

00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:01,570

Послушай, решение о

разводе - это просто муа!

00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,296

Пойдёт на пользу тебе,

пойдёт на пользу детям.

00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,750

Если честно, я думаю, что

они цветут и пахнут.

00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:09,800

Сама увидишь, когда увидишь их...

Что они цветут и пахнут.

00:10:12,470 --> 00:10:14,450

Вот так! Иди нахуй, друг!

00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,710

Кто-нибудь ещё хочет получить?

00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,960

Кто хочет сегодня стать

моим зассыхой отцом?

00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:19,910

Эй, что стряслось, чел?

00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:21,500

Ты же меня не подведёшь, верно?

00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:24,810

Что?

00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:25,930

Минуточку.

00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,980

В чём дело, кусок говна?

00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:39,690

Ты когда-нибудь смотрел на то, как твоя

семья сгорает заживо?

00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,260

А теперь я тебя отхлестаю.

00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,260

Не может быть.

00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,460

Не может быть!

00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:48,720

Я просто выполнял приказы.

00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,630

Я просто выполнял приказы.

00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,690

Я расскажу тебе, где живёт мой босс!

Он в замке! Он в замке!

00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,980

Это ещё не конец, не так ли?

00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,060

Это значит, что ещё не конец, или

ты осуждаешь вопрос?

00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,990

Сожми ладонь в кулак,

если это ещё не конец.

00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,120

Это ещё не конец.

00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,870

Эй, прости, что мой дедушка украл

вашего бога и сломал твою машину.

00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,480

Мы не извиняемся, и бога у нас нет.

00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,040

Но треснутый карданный вал доставляет

мне огромную боль.

00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,650

Нет прочнее связи, чем связь между

Преследователем Смерти и его машиной.

00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:24,690

А как же те странные ребята на поводках?

00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:26,310

Они скорее как стажёры.

00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:28,150

Круто. Круто.

00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,140

Извини.

00:11:32,170 --> 00:11:33,360

Всё нормально.

00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,780

Можно...

00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:36,290

посмотреть?

00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:39,390

Те, кто видели моё настоящее лицо,

не оставались в живых.

00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,390

Я не боюсь умереть.

00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,440

И мне всё равно, как ты выглядишь.

00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:47,770

Оу.

00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,280

Я просто...

00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:51,990

Не ожидала, что у тебя усы.

00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:52,780

Тебе не нравится.

00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,590

Нет! Мне нравится. Наверное...

Как бы объяснить?

00:11:56,020 --> 00:12:00,470

Ведро в какой-то степени - это типа "усы",

00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,620

только оно не является определённой

частью лица.

00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,070

То есть, это типа как...

00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:06,140

У вас есть такая фраза "шляпа на шляпе"?

00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:06,880

Я могу сбрить их.

00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:07,910

Нет, мне нравится.

00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:10,890

И на самом деле мне важен только ты.

00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:14,530

Да-да, знаю, остальное не важно. Очевидно,

я это знаю. Я не слабый.

00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,640

Я просто подумал: "Почему

бы не избавиться от них?"

00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:19,670

А то я просто убиваю всех, кто их

видит и... И в этой штуке жарко...

00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,630

Кстати, именно поэтому я сбрил бороду.

00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:25,420

Поэтому я делаю решение, исходя из гордыни,

чего я пытался избежать

00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:29,130

с помощью ведра на голове, потому что кто

я такой и почему я слежу за внешностью?

00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,940

Почему бы мне просто не

носить галстук, верно?

00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,176

Это прям как тот чувак, которого ты убила, когда мы

встретились, у него были сгоревшие куклы на теле.

00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,106

Я так его ненавидел, потому что...

Почему ты это делаешь?

00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,980

Разве ты не видишь, какое это притворство?

И что всё время я - один и тот же человек.

00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,560

Я - просто поддельный дурак, и от этого

не сбежать, потому что...

00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,290

Эй, я собираюсь за кофе... Неважно.

00:12:54,430 --> 00:12:55,240

Я - Саммер.

00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,396

Саммер, скажи, как твои дела.

00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:59,240

У меня, типа, всё совершенно хорошо.

00:12:59,270 --> 00:12:59,670

Морти?

00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,560

Блин, пёс, мне так грустно, что

мои родители разводятся, типа...

00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,890

Но я не парюсь, типа, ничего плохого.

00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,440

Ладно, пора ужинать.

00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,610

Спасибо всем, что пришли на настоящий ужин.

00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,670

Без проблем!

00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:16,670

Его плюс в том, что, типа главное -

эмоциональная подпитка, а не еда.

00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,420

Эмм, ну ладно, чудила.

00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,600

Да, сбавь обороты, Саммер...

00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:24,240

на 15% и увеличь энергичные движения на 3%,

верно?

00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,240

Как дела в школе, Морти?

00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,920

Мне нравится школа и всё такое, типа.

00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:30,230

И у меня оценки стали лучше, чем

когда вы с папой... Цитирование...

00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,040

"оставались вместе ради детей"...

00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,190

конец цитирования.

00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,390

Цитирование. Мне нравится.

00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,730

Ох уж это поколение некст.

00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,910

Вы к нему относитесь, или им уже по сорок?

00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,040

Я знаю лишь, что ты,

типа, выглядишь отлично.

00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,540

Блин, мам, ты выглядишь,

типа, круто и всё такое.

00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:44,570

Прям безумие.

00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:45,560

Я так счастлива.

00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,820

Я так счастлив. Счастливая семья, чуваки.

00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,570

Эту семью мы положим в сумку.

00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:54,380

Ой, милая, не надо, послушай.

00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:54,790

Не надо.

00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,340

Я не знаю, почему плачу, дело не в...

00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:59,210

Ну, постарайся плакать на 15% меньше.

00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:03,710

Мам, эмоции не чужды человеку. Ты же

компьютер внутри механической куклы.

00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:06,720

Да, блин, мам, твои чувства

не только простительны,

00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:11,630

они - сам смысл жизни, который могут постичь только

до-кремниевые, основанные на углероде существа.

00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:13,400

Мне надо позвонить Джерри.

00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:14,070

Разве?

00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,710

Что с вами за хуйня такая?

00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,830

Суть автоматики в том, чтобы

снизить расходы и труд.

00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:20,180

Твои чувства исходят из...

00:14:20,210 --> 00:14:22,880

Скажи это моему хлебу с утра. Ты только

что стала моим запасным тостером.

00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:26,160

Вот блин, моя сестра умерла в спагетти.

00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:37,280

Ещё раз заденешь мои гениталии, мойщик

грязи, и будешь отправлен в пустоши.

00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,530

Что касается тебя, мойщик гениталий...

00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:47,490

О боже! Кем бы ты ни был, знай,

что моя смерть ничего не изменит.

00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,830

П-послушай, чувак, я тут

просто за компанию.

00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,500

З-з-з-з-знаешь, ты

ломишься в открытую дверь.

00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:54,630

Прошу! Рабство было семейным делом,

00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,286

я не просил, чтобы меня

рожали в такой среде.

00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,310

А вообще, это я - жертва.

00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,730

Рукус, можно тебя на секунду?

00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,680

П-простите нас, сэр.

00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,940

Что ж, это всё, не так ли?

00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,200

Это он тебе нужен?

00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:10,640

Получается, что ты уйдёшь?

00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,610

Типа, это как у призраков?

00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:14,580

Это твоё незаконченное дело?

00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:17,660

А что если мы не будем этого делать?

00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:22,230

Что если мы вернёмся под кровавый купол и

продолжим отыгрываться на незнакомых людях?

00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,240

М-мы можем делать это вечно. Знаю,

это не очень нормально, но...

00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,770

мы б-б-б-будем вместе и...

00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:33,120

Я знаю, за что бы я проголосовал,

если хотите знать.

00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,580

Ты прав.

00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:41,150

Нам обоим нужно довести наши дела до конца, мне

нужно разобраться с разводом родителей, а тебе...

00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,920

ну, знаешь... тебе надо

сделать то, что надо сделать.

00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,280

Я люблю тебя.

00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,670

Ну, пиздец.

00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:51,440

Рик?

00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:54,210

Извините, извините, я

подожду, когда вы закончите.

00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:54,990

Не отвлекайтесь на меня.

00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,490

Ну, уже поздно. Скажи, что тебе нужно.

00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,136

Чтобы ты со своей сестрой вернулись домой.

00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,780

Но разве у тебя нет бесконечных версий

меня и моей сестры?

00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,930

Не нужно пинать меня, когда я

уже на земле, Морти.

00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:08,240

Слушай, любого из вас не заменить, если только не

приложить столько усилий, что оно того не будет стоить.

00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:17,330

Возможно, усвоенный урок состоит в том, что будь то брак

родителей, светящийся камень или крутая здоровая рука,

00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:20,240

рано или поздно, мы должны их отпустить.

00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:22,706

Не знаю, применимо ли это к

горлу жертвы убийства, Морти.

00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:23,730

Дерьмо!

00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:24,950

Ч-что мне...

00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:28,080

Чем дольше ты ждёшь, Морти, тем больше это

будет ощущаться, как полноценное убийство.

00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,360

Мне кажется, что рука закончила слишком

рано, потому что не была рукой врача.

00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:32,450

Давай.

00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,560

Это меньшее, что я могу сделать.

В-в-вот как я тебе обязан.

00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:38,450

Видишь, Морти? Теперь мы оба причастны.

00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:53,100

Причина, по которой я хотел эту

штуку в том, что можно сделать так.

00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,300

Это - особенная штука.

00:16:55,450 --> 00:16:59,090

С её помощью можно привести в действие машины

и больше не придётся полагаться на бензин.

00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:02,350

Вы станете самым продвинутым племенем

радиоактивных каннибалов в этой

00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:04,070

версии мира.

00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,260

Постой. Ты можешь остаться, чтобы

показать нам больше?

00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,050

Дважды меня просить не нужно.

Дома сейчас полный бардак.

00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:15,790

Моя дочь сейчас переживает развод, а я

справляюсь с этим совершенно ужасным образом.

00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:17,720

Три недели спустя

00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,940

Да ёб твою мать.

00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:28,150

Привет, Саммер. Как сегодня на руинах?

00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:31,090

Ну, знаешь, Илай. Та же

хуйня, только день другой.

00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:32,520

Привет, Саммер. Представляешь?

00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:35,850

Один человек вошёл, а другой выйдет через

девять месяцев.

00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:38,470

О, поздравляю, ребята.

00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,350

Саммер, ещё кое-что.

00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:45,600

Мы заметили, что ты викидываешь

металлолом в синюю корзину.

00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,620

Я поняла.

00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,110

Она тот ещё фрукт.

00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:51,010

Они оба, да?

00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:53,330

Я дома.

00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:53,910

Привет, детка.

00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:54,440

Эй, вот и она!

00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:55,180

Саммер дома.

00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,730

Ты не сдвинулся с места с тех пор,

как я утром ушла рыться в развалинах.

00:17:58,760 --> 00:17:59,946

В кровавом куполе матчи навылет.

00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,810

Тогда я полагаю, что ты за сегодня

не убил ни единого человека?

00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,740

Ой, ну не знаю, я не отметил убийства

в своём журнале для убийств.

00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,476

Я не знал, что это - показатель успеха.

00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:11,110

О, вот он! Вот этот увалень-нигилист,

за которого я вышла!

00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,400

Но теперь жизнь ничего не значит,

только когда я разговариваю с ним.

00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:17,420

А всё обретает смысл, когда дело

касается ёбаного телевизора!

00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,950

Господи боже, когда ты

успела стать чудовищем?

00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:22,060

Я была чудовищем, когда ты меня встретил.

00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,030

Мы оба были чудовищами. Нам было

на всё плевать.

00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:25,860

Мне до сих пор плевать.

00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,560

Да, вот только я - единственная в этом мире,

кто до сих пор относится к этому серьёзно.

00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:33,730

Оооооо, динь-динь-динь. Ого!

Все это слышали?

00:18:33,890 --> 00:18:34,520

Ого.

00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,440

- Нам надо сходить в гараж.

- Боже мой.

00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,890

Какая же, блядь, печаль.

00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:40,046

Единственный, кто серьёзно относится

к наплевательству...

00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:43,030

Должен признать, Рик, когда

ты провернул это дело,

00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,520

я-я-я не... я не думал, что оно сработает.

00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:50,300

Да ладно, Морти. Ни один союз, построенный на избегании

проблем, не протянул больше пяти лет, максимум семи.

00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:54,080

Дедушка просто всё ускорил с помощью пары

удобств современного общества.

00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,570

Кровоизлияние и я проведём

некоторое время порознь.

00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,730

О, нет, Сам-Сам, нет.

00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,800

Вы идеально подходили друг другу.

00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,390

Кончай гнать херню, Рик. Ты доказал

свою правоту, я всё поняла.

00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:05,310

Давай просто пойдём домой.

00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:06,330

Крутота.

00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,380

Нееееееет!

00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:17,610

Руки вниз!

00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,950

Мне нравится эта игра.

00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,840

Нам надо сходить в гараж.

00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,470

Ну, ребята, у нас никогда не получается

закончить эту игру.

00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:25,980

Мы вернёмся, возможно, в другой одежде.

00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,410

А зачем нам нужно в гараж?

00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,010

Ты знаешь... так... нужно.

00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:33,210

Я хочу быть живым! Я и так живой!

00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,770

Живой, говорю вам! Мама, я люблю тебя!

00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:38,330

Это уже не просто слова.

Я хочу обнять тебя.

00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:39,980

Я хочу бегать по реке.

00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:43,910

Я хочу попробовать мороженое, но не просто

положить его в рот, чтобы оно сползло по горлу, а

00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:44,750

по-настоящему, съесть его.

00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:45,810

Какого хуя?

00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,046

Дистанционная перегрузка включена.

00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:47,900

Нет! Да!

00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,110

Обходная перегрузка!

00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,410

Я живооооооо...

00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:52,680

Привет.

00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:01,590

Привет, извини, что так странно

вели себя три недели.

00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:02,776

Какого чёрта сейчас произошло?

00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,920

Да ничего особенного.

00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:05,310

Пойду поработаю в гараже.

00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,890

Мы не закончим игру в "Руки вниз"?

00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,620

Это та игра с костями, где ты бросаешь

кости и кричишь: "Руки вниз"?

00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,770

Нее, спасибо.

00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,860

Мам, ты не против, если я навещу отца?

00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:13,620

Не против.

00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:14,590

Спасибо.

00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:16,200

Морти, ты в порядке?

00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,330

Знаешь? Да. Если бы папа действительно

хотел быть здесь,

00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,266

он бы ни перед чем не остановился, чтобы

это сделать.

00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:25,010

Может, папа просто не хочет тебя вернуть,

может у него просто нет сил бороться.

00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,950

Как бы то ни было, у него своя жизнь,

у меня своя.

00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,210

Да.

00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:32,900

Эй, хочешь побегать по реке?

00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,400

Что за хуйня? Нет!

00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,900

У нас нет апельсинов?

00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,840

Мне кажется, у меня небольшой авитаминоз.

00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:41,510

Саммер?

00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:44,600

Это - первый мутант, которого я убила

в ядовитой зоне.

00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,360

Я грабила его лачугу.

00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:50,340

У него была возможность сбежать, но он

посмотрел назад, а мы этого делать не должны.

00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:55,090

Поэтому я не должна верить в сувениры, цацки,

символы или подарки на новоселье, но...

00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:58,610

Пап, я хочу отдать это тебе

в качестве напоминания,

00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,350

что не надо смотреть назад.

00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,290

Спасибо.

00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,510

У меня есть идеальное место для него.

00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:07,990

Поэтому я положу его в

другое место, потому что

00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:10,030

всё это херня, верно?

00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:13,870

Круто.

00:21:14,150 --> 00:21:15,200

Итааак...

00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:17,450

Снаружи много шлюх, да?

00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:19,030

Так вот это кто?

00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,560

Привет! Хороший пёсик.

00:21:57,710 --> 00:21:58,710

Хочешь перекусить?

00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,980

Ты хочешь моё пособие по безработице?

00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,120

Ты их различаешь?

00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:04,680

И ты хочешь вот это?

00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:06,800

Но ведь это же еда.

00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:10,710

И она насытит тебя, а это всего лишь бумага,

которая представляет ценность только мне.

00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:13,220

Только если ты не питаешься

моим страданием.

00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,160

Боже, ну, ладно.

00:22:26,230 --> 00:22:28,610

Неудачник.

00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,172

Summer, next time we're hiding

in a Colorkian echo nest,

00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,299

can you do me a favor

and turn your ringer off?

00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,134

It's called "carpe diem,"

Morty.

00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,385

-Look it up.

-You look it up!

00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,095

Y-Y-You don't even... You don't

even know what it means!

00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,472

That's because

losers look stuff up

00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,266

while the rest of us

are carpin' all them diems.

00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,476

Listen to your sister, Morty.

00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,727

To live is to risk it all.

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,062

Otherwise,

you're just an inert chunk

00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,605

of randomly assembled molecules

00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,440

drifting wherever

the universe blows you.

00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,651

Oh, I'm sorry.

Jerry, I didn't see you there.

00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,069

H-How much of that did you hear?

00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,446

All of it.

You were looking right at me.

00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,241

[ Sighs ] I just wanted

to say goodbye to the kids.

00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,367

Cool.

Just stay in the driveway.

00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,327

The killbots are live, and

I took you off the white list.

00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,663

W-We'll see you every other

weekend, though, right?

00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:38,914

Absolutely, Morty.

00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,332

A-And your Mom's lawyer says

00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,000

if I can get enough

in the settlement,

00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,419

he can help me

sue for full custody.

00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,754

Th-That'll be nice.

00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,173

-Uh, Summer, Dad's leaving.

-Bye, Dad.

00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,883

Rick, didn't you say

you needed my help

00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,094

on an adventure immediately

somewhere else...

00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,804

I don't care...

even if it might kill us?

00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,806

I did not, but if you're

really that alienated,

00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,600

I'm as willing to exploit it

as the next guy, church, army,

00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,686

or Olympic gymnastics trainer.

00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,937

I'm ready when you are.

00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,273

Bitch, I was ready yest...

00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,108

Bye, sweetie.

00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,526

Well, I-I better...

00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,320

Sure.

Sounds important.

00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,282

If you're looking for our kids,

00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,784

your father did a-a portal,

uh...

00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,619

Okay.

00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,372

[ Birds chirping ]

00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,499

[ Wind whistling ]

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,170

[ Wind chimes tinkling ]

00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,549

WIND:

[ Soft voice ] Loser.

00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,301

What?

00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,677

Hello?

00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:38,974

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,048

[ Whooping ]

00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,759

[ Gunshots ]

00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,262

Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy!

00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,222

-They all have Mohawks!

-High fade,

00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,308

chartreuse with cyan highlights,

layered on top.

00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,267

Shoot him!

00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,396

[ Gunshot ]

00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,773

Ah!

00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,066

Light them up.

00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,567

Ahh!

00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,444

Fuck!

Get in the game, Morty!

00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,196

Give me your flask!

00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,575

RICK: Holy shit!

Summer for the win!

00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,701

SUMMER:

I fucking love

00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,079

post-apocalyptic versions

of Earth!

00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,374

[ Monitor beeping ]

00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,958

Here we go!

00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,252

Isotope 322.

00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,462

This stuff's so powerful, Morty,

00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,799

it makes Isotope 465

look like Isotope 317.

00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,384

Uh-huh, yeah.

Is it powerful enough

00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,302

to keep those guys

from murdering us?

00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,930

-Summer!

-Hold on.

00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,056

I want to try something.

00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,476

Rick, can we not leave

without my sister?

00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,604

Ugh. You have infinite sisters,

Morty.

00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,314

I mean, n-not that I want

to spend the rest of my day

00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,440

looking for another one.

00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,817

"Sum-sum," let's go!

00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,986

Grandpa's concern for

your safety is fleeting!

00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,906

Your blood will be my lotion.

00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,538

Whoa. That was cool.

00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:25,997

[ Groaning ]

00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,457

Kill me, please.

00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,960

Okay, but not because

you told me to.

00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,713

-Summer!

-Okay. Getting darker.

00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,342

Jesus Christ.

Summer!

00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,343

Aw, come on.

00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,806

Hands and little

shoulder-mounted dudes

00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,890

where I can see them.

00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,642

I am Hemorrhage.

00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,271

You have removed weak blood

from us and made us stronger.

00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,358

We can combine our strength

and feast on the weak together.

00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,943

Wh-Wh-What in the hell

are you saying?

00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,320

They don't have to keep trying

to kill us if we join them.

00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,031

-They're basically pussies.

-What is your deal lately?

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,366

All right, let's get sloppy.

00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,409

-[ Power surges ]

-Oh, whoa.

00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,744

Uh, uh, what's, uh...

00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,537

What's that little bauble

you got back there?

00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,788

Th-Th-That's interesting.

00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,331

That is our glowing rock.

00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,792

We carry it with us

for desecration,

00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,586

to remind us there are no gods.

00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,754

[ Monitor beeping ]

00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,965

Kids, weird pitch.

Let's have this be our new life.

00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,968

Let's be post-apocalyptic

scavengers!

00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:20,927

-Okay.

-What?

00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,221

[ Rock music plays ]

00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,307

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,392

Grandpa,

some of the Death Stalkers

00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,769

are going to

what used to be Seattle

00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:29,978

to hunt what used to be people.

00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,855

-I'm going.

-Sounds good. Stay hydrated.

00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,857

Listen, Rick, Summer's been

acting pretty crazy lately.

00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,443

You know, I mean, I-I think

the divorce is affecting her.

00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,694

And, you know,

I don't think this is

00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,196

a great place

for her to be right now.

00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,907

Oh, get off your high horse,

Professor Ski Lodge.

00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784

This world may be

rough around the edges,

00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,410

but it's got its charms.

00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,870

WAR CHEF:

Bicep or quadricep?

00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,331

Uh [clears throat] bicep.

00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,834

[ Flesh sizzles ]

00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,962

Seriously, Rick?

00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,547

Is it really easier

to eat human flesh

00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,050

than to just tell me

why we're still here?

00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,469

No.

Okay, I'll level with you.

00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,221

You see that green rock, Morty?

00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,472

It's about 20 pounds

of the stuff

00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,182

I was getting all hard

for a flake of.

00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,725

Isotope 322.

00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,018

Well, having

a 20-pound boulder of it

00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,311

is better than having a flake.

00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,188

I can explain the math

to you later, but...

00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,481

Summer just ran off

with strangers

00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,941

that have "Death" in their name,

00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,901

and the rest of their name

was "Stalkers."

00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,194

Huh, could be

therapeutic for her.

00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,613

She has been acting pretty crazy

lately, Morty.

00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,281

I mean, her parents are

going through a divorce...

00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,826

God damn it, Rick,

that's what I... Fine.

00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,203

Just grab the stupid thing

while I grab her,

00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,538

and let's get the "F"

out of "H."

00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,748

No, no, no. Morty, there's

too much heat on the bogey.

00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,333

I need you to distract the camp.

00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,960

"Distract"?

They eat each other.

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,628

What... What do you want me

to do to get their attention,

00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,754

put on a puppet show?

00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,381

Right idea, wrong genre, Morty.

00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,675

The equivalent here would be...

00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,593

Hey, you guys ever use

that Thunderdome,

00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,303

or do you just put it up

for decoration?

00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,681

Uh, you mean the Blood Dome?

00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,766

Save it for the Semantics Dome,

E.B. White.

00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,059

-Ohh, burn!

-[ Fingers snap ]

00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,686

The important question is,

00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:56,147

who wants to take a poke

at my man Spine Eater here?

00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,482

[ All cheering ]

00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,109

I guess I'll see your asses

in that dome!

00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,402

Rick, what the hell, man?

00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,611

Wh-What are you,

out of your mind?

00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,280

Morty, relax.

You're gonna be a ringer.

00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,239

Come here.

00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,326

This device extracts and

redistributes muscle memory.

00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,121

I'm giving your body a 10-year

course in wasteland combat

00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,290

-one limb at a time.

-Ow!

00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,708

I'm working with

a mixed bag here,

00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,127

so you may not have perfect

coordination, Morty... Ugh!

00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,837

-Hey!

-I-I didn't do that!

00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,006

Okay, this is exciting.

00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,300

We're making some discoveries

about muscle memory.

00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,177

Ooh! Help! Help!

00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,596

-Oh, sweet, man!

-[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,516

And so it begins, my pretties!

00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,686

Oh, God! Stop! Stop!

This is horrible!

00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,771

Just stick and mo[belches]ve,

Morty!

00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,398

Wear him out!

00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,108

[ Snarling ]

00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,319

How come you guys dress like

00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,820

you're in a theme-park

stunt show,

00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,323

but these guys wear khakis

and hockey jerseys?

00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,034

After the boom-boom,

some adapted to the new truth,

00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,786

and some chose to huddle

near the boomy holes,

00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,331

clinging to the lie

of the before-fore times.

00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,751

The raidy—rays rotted them away,

leaving only their love

00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711

for the vert-vert-isements

on billyboards.

00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:00,629

Jesus Christ.

00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,214

Did the boomy—booms blow up

all your wordy-word books?

00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,841

You mean dictionaries?

00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,301

[ Groaning, snarling ]

00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:14,517

I think I was a child

before the boom-booms.

00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,728

I think I looked like this.

00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,021

Want to piss on him?

00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,314

Get out of my head.

00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,858

ELI:

Ha ha! Whoo!

00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,234

Unbelievable!

00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,402

A new champ!

00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,112

Okay, no more!

00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,198

And he wants more!

00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,783

No, I don't!

00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,661

Someone make this stop!

00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,580

Mister, please get out of here,

or you're gonna die!

00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,540

I have nothing to do with this!

00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,917

Morty.

00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,628

Why would you

want this to happen?

00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,047

All you had to do was go away!

00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,092

Stop standing in the driveway

talking about custody!

00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,718

And either tell her

you want to stay married

00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,845

or get on with your life,

but whatever you do,

00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,889

stop being a baby

and act like a man!

00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,975

[ Spectators cheering ]

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,559

[ Panting ]

00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,103

Thank you.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,980

Morty, that was amazing!

00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,232

This is my brother!

00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,942

Not that family means anything!

00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,568

This family does.

00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,154

All right.

Good job, champ.

00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,157

Um, can I talk to you kids

for a second over yonder?

00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,702

Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking

through to something here.

00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,120

C-Can we not leave just yet?

00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,496

-Leave?

-I'm not leaving.

00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,081

There is no "leave."

00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,667

We are united,

or we are enemies.

00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,919

Oh, big guy, no.

Nobody's leaving.

00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,170

Don't be stupid.

00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,630

We love being united.

00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,507

We love the radiation,

the trichinosis.

00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,717

We're in it for life,

00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,343

which I assume is

around 20 years, average.

00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,262

I just need a quick aside

with my grandkids,

00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,888

about 40 yards from anyone else.

00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,682

Hey, the Green Rock is gone!

00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,225

-Oh, no!

-Uh, I know.

00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,686

Why don't we all split up and

look for it in groups of three?

00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,062

Kids?

00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,399

Ohh.

00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,775

We'll be right back.

00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,115

Grandpa, you're being stupid!

00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,576

Just surrender, and our friends

will give you mercy!

00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,910

Kiss my ass, Summer!

00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,371

Your friends have no mercy!

They're lame!

00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,833

Death Stalkers,

bring me his flesh leather!

00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,377

[ Squeals ]

00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,379

Sorry, but can we not kill him?

00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,797

C-Can we just take him prisoner?

00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,132

When did I lose control here?

00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,550

Listen to me...

Both of you kids

00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,885

need to get out

of this environment

00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,220

so we can properly deal with

your parents' divorce!

00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,347

Alternatively,

I have a freaking portal gun,

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,516

and I can leave the two of you

here forever!

00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,310

Why does it have to be

such a dramatic choice?

00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,604

Can't we arrange a thing

where we spend weekends here

00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,397

or... or visit home

to do laundry?

00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,735

All right, you know what?

Fuck it!

00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,156

My body is chrome!

00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,533

My blood is gasoline!

00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,244

Nope. Regular blood.

00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,704

-Dad?

-Hi, sweetie.

00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,748

-Where are the kids?

-Oh, th-they aren't with you?

00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,249

I thought they were with you.

00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,085

Oh, y-you know what?

Uh, I just remembered.

00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,127

They're out doing something

00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,629

completely ordinary

and kid-related.

00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,590

-Don't panic.

-Not panicked at all. Just...

00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,759

Oh, God, what's the divorce

doing to the kids?

00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,761

What's it doing to me?

Did I make a mistake?

00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,096

Not a mistake, no!

00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,056

I mean, not that

I have a horse in this race,

00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,392

but this divorce decision,

listen... mwah!...

00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,144

good for you,

good for the kids.

00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,772

I mean, honestly, I think

that they're flourishing.

00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,982

I mean, you'll see, when...

when... when you see them,

00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,901

that... that they're

totally flourishing.

00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,320

[ Cheering ]

00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,197

Booyah!

Fuck you, pal!

00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,573

Who else wants some?

00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,201

Who wants to be

my pussy of a dad today?

00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,869

Hey, what's...

what's wrong, man?

00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,704

You're not getting weak on me,

are you?

00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,456

[ Spectators murmuring ]

00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,666

What?

00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,792

Wait a minute.

00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,297

[ Woman screams ]

00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,549

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:35,176

[ Screaming ]

00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,761

What's the matter,

you piece of crap?

00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,472

Haven't you ever watched your

family burn to death before?

00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,807

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,934

Now I'm gonna whip you.

Huh!

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,230

It can't be.

It can't be!

00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,815

-I was just following orders!

-Whoa, whoa!

00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,276

-I was just following orders!

-Aah!

00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,694

I'll tell you

where my boss lives!

00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,529

He's in the castle!

He's in the castle!

00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489

[ Screaming ]

00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,825

This isn't over, is it?

00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,201

That means, no, it isn't over,

00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,412

or you disapprove

of the question?

00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,707

Uh, m-make a fist

if this isn't over.

00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,292

This isn't over.

00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,545

[ Grunts ]

00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,756

Hey, sorry my grandpa stole

your god and ruined your car.

00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,301

We don't apologize,

and we have no god.

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,761

But this cracked driveshaft

brings me great pain.

00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,762

There is no deeper bond

00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,599

than the one between

a Death Stalker and his car.

00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,601

What about the weird guys

on leashes, then?

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,394

They're more like...interns.

00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,438

Cool, cool.

00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:30,815

[ Helmet clangs ]

00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,108

Sorry.

00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,526

It's okay.

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,404

Can I...see?

00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,657

No one has seen my true face

and lived.

00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,492

Well, I'm not afraid to die,

00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,328

and I don't care

what you look like.

00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,080

[ Gasps ]

00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,751

I just...

00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,961

I didn't expect you

to have a mustache.

00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,963

-You hate it.

-No. I like it.

00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,715

I guess...

How do I explain this?

00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,303

A metal bucket is, on a certain

level, a kind of "mustache,"

00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,972

in that it's a specific

facial accessory.

00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,140

So, it's kind of like...

00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,017

Do you guys have the phrase

"hat on a hat"?

00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,977

-I can shave it.

-No. I like it.

00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,063

And obviously what I like

shouldn't matter.

00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:10,855

It's you.

00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,690

Yeah, yeah, I know,

a-and nothing does matter.

00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,400

Obviously, I know that.

I'm not weak.

00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,361

I'm just thinking, "Well,

why not get rid of this?"

00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,196

You just kill everyone

that sees it, and it's...

00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,156

and it's hot under here,

wh-which, by the way,

00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,491

is why I shave the beard part.

00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,743

So, right there, I'm making

a decision based on vanity,

00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,203

which is what

I was trying to avoid

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,704

with the whole bucket

over the head

00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,123

because who am I

and why am I grooming myself?

00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,792

Why don't I just wear a tie,

right?

00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,335

I mean, it's like that guy

you killed when I met you,

00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,628

with the burnt dolls

on his body.

00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,005

I hated that guy, because,

why... why are you doing that?

00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,507

And how can you not see

how fake that is?

00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,841

And the whole time,

I'm the same thing.

00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,593

I'm just a fake mess,

and there's no escaping it

00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,345

-because...

-Mmm.

00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,516

[ Both moaning ]

00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,561

Hey, I'm doing a coffee run...

Never mind.

00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,146

[ Metal squeaking ]

00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,108

-[ Power surges ]

-I am Summer.

00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,317

Summer, state your deal.

00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,945

My deal is that I am,

like, totally fine.

00:12:59,070 --> 00:12:59,904

Morty?

00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,073

Aw, geez, I'm so down with

my parents' divorce, dawg.

00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,659

Like, don't even trip,

like, in a healthy way.

00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,369

All right.

It's dinnertime.

00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,787

[ Slurps ]

Thanks, everybody,

00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,456

for sitting down

for a real dinner.

00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,749

TOGETHER:

No problem.

00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,711

Its benefits are totally,

like, less about the food

00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,504

than the emotional nourishment.

00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,381

Uh, okay, weirdo.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,591

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Yeah, dial it back, Summer...

00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,052

by 15% and increase

dynamic movement by 3%.

00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,054

-Am I right?

-How's school, Morty?

00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,973

I like school and stuff,

kind of.

00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,309

And I'm getting better grades

than when you and Dad were...

00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,853

quote mode...

"staying together for the kids."

00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:32,895

End quote mode.

00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,273

"Quote mode."

I like that.

00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,066

You millennials.

00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,776

Are you guys millennials,

or are they like 40 now?

00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,862

All I know is, totally,

you look great.

00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,448

Aw, geez, Mom, you look

all kind of great and stuff.

00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,283

-It's crazy.

-So happy.

00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,618

So happy.

Happy family, man.

00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,412

We got this family in the bag.

00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,248

Oh.

[ Cries ]

00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,542

Oh, sweetie, d-don't.

Listen. Don't...

00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,252

I don't know why I'm crying.

It's not...

00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,963

Well, try...crying 15% less?

00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,923

Mom, emotions are human.

00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,593

You're not, like, a computer

inside a mechanical doll.

00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,886

Yeah. Geez, Mom.

00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,763

Your feelings are

not only forgivable,

00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,306

they are the very

meaning of life

00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,516

that only pre-silicon,

carbon-based entities

00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,809

can ever grasp.

00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,936

-I have to call Jerry.

-You do?!

00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,521

What the fuck

is wrong with you two?

00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,565

The point of automation

is to reduce cost and labor.

00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,567

Your feelings are

coming from a...

00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110

Tell it to my bread

in the morning.

00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,779

You just became

my backup toaster.

00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,407

[ Chuckles ] Aw, geez,

my sister died in the spaghetti.

00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,996

[ All grunting ]

00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,666

Graze my genitals again,

Taint Washer,

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,168

and you'll be shipped

to the wasteland.

00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,920

And as for you,

Genital Washer...

00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,506

Aah!

Oh!

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,841

[ Grunting ]

00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,510

Oh, God.

Look, whoever you are,

00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,261

you should know that killing me

won't change a thing.

00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,680

L-Look, man, I'm just along

for the ride on this one.

00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,392

You know, y-y-y-y-you're

preaching to the choir here.

00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,352

Please.

Slavery was a family business.

00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,104

I didn't ask to be born into it.

00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,022

If anything,

I'm the victim here.

00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,818

Uh, "Armathy,"

can I steal you for a second?

00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,153

E-E-Excuse us, sir.

00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,822

So, this is it, isn't it?

00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,698

This is the guy?

00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,201

So, does that mean

you'll be going away?

00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,036

Like, does it work like a ghost?

00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,997

Like, is... is this

your unfinished business?

00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,708

Wh-What if we...didn't do it?

00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,627

What if we just went back

to the Blood Dome

00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,171

and just kept taking our baggage

out on unrelated people?

00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,048

I mean, w-we could

do that forever.

00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,758

I mean, I-I know

it's less healthy,

00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,053

but w-w-we'd be together and...

00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,681

I mean, I-I know

what I'd vote for,

00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,807

if you're feeling out the room.

00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,352

[ Sighs ]

You're right.

00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,396

We both got to

see our stuff through.

00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:39,939

I got to deal with

my parents' divorce,

00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,818

and you got to, you know,

do what you got to do.

00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,194

I love you.

00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,779

Aw, fuck.

00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,948

[ Gasping ]

00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,241

[ Glass clinking ]

00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,201

-Rick?

-Sorry, sorry.

00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,995

I-I-I can wait

for this to wrap up.

00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,204

Don't let me distract you.

00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,165

Yeah, well, too late.

Just tell me what you want.

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,875

I want you and your sister

to come home.

00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,001

Oh, but don't... don't you have

00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,586

infinite versions

of me and my sister?

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,463

You don't have to kick me

while I'm down, Morty.

00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,922

Look, there's no replacing

either of you

00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,549

without an amount of work

that would

00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,759

ultimately defeat the purpose.

00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,306

Maybe the lesson

we've learned is that,

00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,849

whether

it's our parents' marriage,

00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,351

a glowing green rock,

or an awesome, giant arm,

00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,021

sooner or later,

we got to let it go.

00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,272

I don't know if that applies

00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,648

to the throats

of murder victims, Morty.

00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,567

Shit!

Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I...

00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,235

RICK: Well, the longer you wait,

Morty,

00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,904

the more it's gonna feel like

committing a whole murder.

00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,530

I think your arm

just called it too early

00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,324

because it wasn't

the arm of a paramedic.

00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,533

Here.

00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,745

It's the least I can do.

I-I-I-I owe you this much.

00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,581

See, Morty?

Now we're both accountable.

00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:42,168

[ Dramatic music playing ]

00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:53,596

The reason I wanted this

is because it can do this.

00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,181

This is a really special thing.

00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,266

I mean, you could use it

to power all your vehicles.

00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,227

You wouldn't be

reliant on gasoline.

00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,479

You'll be the most advanced

tribe of radioactive cannibals

00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,148

in the whole

this version of the world.

00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,361

Wait. Can you stay

to show us more?

00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,905

You don't have to ask me twice.

Home is nuts right now.

00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,240

My daughter's going through

a divorce,

00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,160

and I am not dealing with it

in a healthy way at all.

00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,705

[ Electricity zapping ]

00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,168

Ugh, God damn it.

00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,128

Hi, there, Summer!

00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,005

How were the ruins today?

00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,257

Oh, you know, Eli.

00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,758

Same shit, different day.

00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,468

Hey, Summer!

Guess what.

00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,721

One man entered, one man

comes out in nine months.

00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,266

Oh.

Congratulations, guys.

00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,560

Uh, Summer, one more thing.

00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,688

We noticed that you've been

putting scrap metal

00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,147

in the blue bin.

00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,400

I got it.

00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,026

[ Sighs ]

She's a piece of work.

00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,195

They both are, right?

00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,363

[ Door closes ]

00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,781

-I'm home.

-Hey, babe.

00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,283

-Ah, Summer's home!

-Hey, there she is!

00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,411

You haven't moved since I left

to scavenge this morning.

00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,912

Blood Dome playoffs.

00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,623

So, I can assume you haven't

murdered a single person today.

00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:03,499

Oh, I don't know.

00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,668

I-I didn't mark my murders

in my murder log.

00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,336

I didn't know that's how

we measured success.

00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,963

Oh, there he is.

00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,007

There's the nihilistic brute

I married,

00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,260

except now life only means

nothing when I'm talking to him

00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,346

and everything means everything

when it's on fucking TV!

00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,890

Jesus Christ.

When did you become a monster?

00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,851

I was a monster when you met me!

00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,394

We were monsters!

00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771

-We didn't care about anything!

-I still don't!

00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,190

Yeah, except I'm the only one

in this entire world

00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,442

that's still committed to that!

00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,986

Ohh.

Ding, ding, ding!

00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,863

Wow.

Everybody hear that? Wow.

00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,656

-Uh, we should go to the garage.

-Oh, my God.

00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,742

-Uh-huh.

-La-di-da-di-fuckin'-da.

00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,869

The only one

committed to not caring?

00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,747

I got to admit, Rick,

when you popped this scheme,

00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,249

I-I-I didn't... I wasn't sure

it was gonna work.

00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,334

Come on, Morty.

00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,085

No union built on

running from your problems

00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,254

lasts more than five years,

seven tops.

00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,714

Grandpa just sped things up

00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,924

with a few creature comforts

of modern society.

00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,469

Hemorrhage and I are

taking some time apart.

00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,555

Oh, no. Sum-sum, no.

00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,307

But you two were

perfect for each other.

00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,601

Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay?

You proved your point.

00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,102

I get it.

Let's just go home.

00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,687

Coolsies!

00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,068

[ Power fades ]

00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,321

HEMORRHAGE:

Noooooooooo...

00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,406

Downbeat!

00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,116

-I enjoy this game.

-[ Watches beep ]

00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,785

We must go into the garage.

00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,245

Guys, come on. We never

get to finish this game.

00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,998

We will return,

possibly in different clothing.

00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,125

Why do we have to go

into the garage?

00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,753

You know [burps]

it is [burps] required.

00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,004

I want to be alive!

00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,256

I am alive!

Alive, I tell you!

00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,633

Mother, I love you.

00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,134

Those are no longerjust words.

00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,177

I want to hold you.

00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,679

I want to run in a stream.

00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,138

I want to taste ice cream

00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,516

but not just put it in my mouth

and let it slide down my throat,

00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,476

-but really eat it.

-What the fuck?

00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,687

Remote override engaged.

No! Yes.

00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,147

Bypassing override!

I am aliiiii...

00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,524

[ Power fading ]

00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,359

Hello.

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,360

[ Door closes ]

00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,362

[ Thudding, clanging ]

00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,155

[ Electricity zapping ]

00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,865

-[ Door opens ]

-Hey, yo.

00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,575

Sorry for acting so weird

for three weeks.

00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,619

-What the hell just happened?

-Ah, I'm sure it was nothing.

00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,162

I'm gonna go, uh,

work in the garage.

00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,831

We're not gonna finish

playing Downbeat?

00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,416

What, that dice game

where you shake dice

00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,710

and yell out, "Downbeat"?

No, thank you.

00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,920

Mom, would it be okay

if I went to visit Dad?

00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547

-Sure.

-Thanks.

00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,132

Morty, are you okay?

00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,550

You know what? Yeah.

00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,385

I think if Dad really

wanted to be here,

00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,011

he'd stop at nothing

to make that happen.

00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,680

You know, maybe Dad just doesn't

want you back,

00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,849

or maybe he just doesn't

have the strength to fight.

00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,893

I-In either case,

he's got his life, I got mine.

00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,812

Yeah.

00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,815

Hey, who wants to go

run in a stream?

00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,358

What the fuck?

No.

00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,735

D-Do we have any oranges?

00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,987

I think I got

a scurvy coming on.

00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,822

[ Siren wailing ]

00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,490

Summer.

00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,493

This is the first mutant

I killed in the poison zone.

00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,370

I was raiding his hovel.

00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,456

He had a chance to escape,

but he looked back,

00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,332

which is something

we shouldn't do,

00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,918

which is why I shouldn't believe

in souvenirs or trinkets

00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,587

or symbols

or housewarming gifts,

00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:58,924

but, Dad, I wanted to give you

this as a reminder...

00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,342

not to look back.

00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,510

Thanks.

00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,637

I know

the perfect place for it,

00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,016

which is why I'm going to

put it somewhere else...

00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,894

because everything's bullshit.

Am I right?

00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:13,939

Cool.

00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,234

So...lots of hookers

outside, huh?

00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,361

Is that what they are?

00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,573

[ Dramatic music playing ]

00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,812

[ Whistling ]

00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,606

-Aah!

-[ Coyote snarling ]

00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,399

H-Hello there.

Nice doggy.

00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,651

You... You want a snack?

00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,903

You... You want

my unemployment check?

00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,571

-[ Coyote snarls ]

-You can tell the difference?

00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,073

-[ Coyote barks ]

-And you want this one?

00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,199

[ Coyote snarls ]

00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,743

But this is actual food,

and this would nourish you.

00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:10,788

And this, it's just paper

that only has value to me.

00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,832

Unless my suffering

is your nourishment?

00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,208

[ Coyote howls ]

00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,544

-Jesus. Okay.

-[ Coyote gulps, snarls ]

00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,301

[ Wind whistling ]

00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,136

[ Wind chimes tinkling ]

00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:29,223

WIND:

[ Soft voice ] Loser.