Наверное, Рики сошли с ума

00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,508

with a "Ball Fondlers"

movie franchise.

00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,636

I can't believe the things

this reality considers PG-13.

00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:12,389

- Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous.

- Don't be, Morty.

00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:15,308

There's pros and cons

to every alternate timeline.

00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,559

Fun facts about this one...

00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,061

It's got giant,

telepathic spiders,

00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,396

11 9/11s,

00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,481

and the best ice cream

in the multiverse!

00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,149

- Shut up!

- Whoa!

00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:25,694

We're gonna go get

some ice cream, motherfucker!

00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,654

[Engine sputters]

00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,030

Oh, great.

00:00:29,114 --> 00:00:30,782

Oh, boy.

W-What's wrong, Rick?

00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,505

Is it the quantum carburetor

or something?

00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:34,536

"Quantum carburetor"?

Jesus, Morty.

00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,538

You can't just add

a s[burps]... sci-fi word

00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,540

to a car word

and hope it means something.

00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,042

Looks like something's wrong

with the microverse battery.

00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:42,669

We're gonna have to go inside.

00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,295

Um, go inside what?

00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,172

The battery, Morty.

Be right back, Summer.

00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,674

Stay put,

don't touch any buttons,

00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,677

and ignore all random thoughts

that feel... spidery.

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,345

Wait!

You can't leave me here!

00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,638

You'll be fine.

00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:55,223

Ship, keep Summer safe.

00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,392

FEMALE VOICE: [warbles]

Keep Summer safe.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018

MORTY:

Ohh!

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,855

Ugh.

Wonderful.

00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,278

Hey, excuse me.

Hello.

00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,321

Um...

[cellphone clicking]

00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:12,323

What, you think

you're better than me?!

00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,409

Nobody's better than me!

00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:15,660

Hey!

Hey!

00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,750

Aah!

Aaaaah!

00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,585

- Keep Summer safe.

- Aaaaaaah!

00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,794

Hey, man, what the hell?!

00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:26,588

That was my daughter's

pediatrician! Aah!

00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,381

No, stop!

Don't kill him!

00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:29,716

[Beep]

Confirmed.

00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,259

[grunts]

Aah!

00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,385

[Groans]

00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:34,137

Oh, god.

I can't feel my legs.

00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,388

Help!

Help!!

00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:36,723

Summer is safe.

00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,725

I don't feel safe.

[sobs]

00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,202

Confirmed.

[light jazz music plays]

00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,187

[Sobbing] No.

[sniffles]

00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,730

Oh, god, help me.

Help me!

00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,857

[Sobbing] Help me, please!

You can help me!

00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,818

♪♪

00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,059

Oh, man.

Where are we, Rick?

00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,186

Morty, remember eight

seconds ago when... you said,

00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,730

"go inside what?"

And I said, "the battery"?

00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:27,454

Then we showed up here,

and I wasn't like,

00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:28,733

"Whoa, this is unexpected.

00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:30,401

This is not what I was

expecting, Morty.

00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:32,070

What a perplexing mystery

this is."

00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,714

All right, all right,

we're inside the battery.

00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,406

I get it. You don't have

to bust my balls.

00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,510

Huh, this isn't right.

This pipe's supposed to be...

00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,495

sending 20 terawatts of

juice up to the engine, Morty.

00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,338

[Computer beeps]

Instead we've got... zero?

00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,693

Now what are these people doing?

00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,917

- W-W-W-Whoa, people?

- [groans]

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,640

It's time for some

hands-on engine repair.

00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,295

All right, Morty,

hold on to something.

00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,421

Whoa!

00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,217

Holy crap!

00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,219

I thought we were

inside your car battery, Rick.

00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,888

T-T-This is like a whole

p-planet or something.

00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,852

Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty

proud of this bad boy.

00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,350

Check it out.

[keypad beeps]

00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,394

I put a spatially

tessellated void

00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,354

inside a modified temporal field

00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,606

until a planet developed

intelligent life.

00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,276

I then introduced that life

to the wonders of electricity,

00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,611

which they now generate

on a global scale.

00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,506

And, you know, some of it goes

to power my engine

00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,115

and charge my phone and stuff.

00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,284

You have a whole planet

making your power for you?

00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,452

That's slavery.

- It's society.

00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:22,871

They work for each other, Morty.

00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:24,539

They pay each other.

They buy houses.

00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:26,100

They get married and make

children that replace them

00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,834

when they get

too old to make power.

00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,044

That just sounds like slavery

with extra steps.

00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:33,047

Ooh la la, someone's

gonna get laid in college.

00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,049

ANCHOR: It appears we are

being revisited

00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,886

by the alien known as Rick,

who once gave our world

00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,263

the gift

of gooble box technology,

00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,515

which, when stomped on,

generates electricity,

00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,684

powering our homes

and businesses,

00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,579

improving our daily lives,

while safely removing

00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:51,065

the dangerous waste power

to a special disposal volcano.

00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,692

But why has Rick returned?

00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361

And what will he say

when he hears the big news?

00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,988

Let's find out.

00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,407

You need to tell these people

they're in a battery, Rick.

00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,743

It's messed up.

There's caterers down there.

00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,828

Th-Th-They're setting up

chafing dishes.

00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:05,204

Would you relax, Morty?

00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,057

There's nothing dishonest

about what we're doing.

00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,435

Now slap on these antennae.

They need to think we're aliens.

00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:12,462

- What? Why?

- Sh... Obviously [burps]...

00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,006

You really [burps] know

nothing about car repair.

00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,885

[Fanfare plays]

00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,929

Wait for the ramp, Morty.

00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,764

They love the slow ramp.

00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,433

Really gets their dicks hard

when they see this ramp

00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,769

just slowly extending down.

00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,437

[Cheering]

00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,772

Greetings!

00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:33,441

[Creatures chanting,

"Rick! Rick!"]

00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,193

Morty, you gotta flip them off.

00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,195

I told them it means

"peace among worlds."

00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,613

How hilarious is that?

00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:44,911

[Creatures cheering wildly]

00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,162

RICK: Coming through.

00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,122

Two real aliens walking

through here.

00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,124

Rick, our alien friend.

00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,126

Uh, Mr. President,

um, couldn't help but notice

00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,587

that you were having problems

generating power.

00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:57,048

That's correct. [chuckles]

We've evolved.

00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,343

Our most brilliant scientist,

Zeep Xanflorp,

00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,345

has developed a source of energy

00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,098

that makes gooble boxes

obsolete.

00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,016

[Straining]

I would love to see it.

00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,477

- Fuck You.

- What did you say to me?!

00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,937

"Fuck You."

00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,815

Y-You told me

it means "much obliged."

00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,859

Oh. Right.

Uh, b-blow me.

00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,695

No, no, no.

Blow me.

00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:26,953

Zeep, you have an honored guest

from beyond the stars.

00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,580

I said 12 quantum stabilizers,

not 11.

00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,416

Fix it or it's your ass.

00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,126

Chris, I'm in the middle

of something.

00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:36,337

Zeep, this is Rick...

The Alien.

00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,172

Rick The Alien.

00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,174

Rick The Alien...

00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:41,843

Really?

You're gonna pull that move?

00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,636

I guided

your entire civilization.

00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,680

Your people have

a holiday named Ricksgiving.

00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,640

They teach kids

about me in school.

00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:50,184

I dropped out of school.

It's not for smart people.

00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,103

Ohhhh, snap!

00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,022

Listen to me,

you arrogant little...

00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,233

[chuckling] R-Rick was hoping

to see your new energy source.

00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:00,236

I think he could learn

a lot from you, Zeep.

00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,863

Fine.

00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,906

It's hard for people to grasp,

00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,242

but inside that container is

an infinite universe

00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,244

with a planet capable

of generating

00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,413

massive amounts of power.

00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:12,749

I call it a miniverse.

00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834

[Coughs]

Dumb [coughs] Name.

00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,270

- Excuse me?

- [clears throat] Nothing.

00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,379

I mean, it's hard

for us to comprehend all this.

00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,441

Would it be possible

for us to get some kind of tour

00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,258

of your miniverse

from the inside?

00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,885

This isn't a fucking

chocolate factory.

00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,428

I don't have time.

00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,889

Didn't you say time goes

more slowly in the miniverse

00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,891

relative to the real world?

00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:32,268

Yes, Chris.

Thanks for reminding me of that.

00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,771

Great President.

All right, let's go.

00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,355

Whoa-Oh!

00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,524

Hold on to something.

00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,735

I put an unbounded vacuum

inside a temporal field

00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361

until a world developed.

00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,322

I then introduced

the people of this world

00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,617

to the wonders of electricity

in the form of a device

00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,535

I call a flooble crank.

00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,497

What they don't know is that 80%

of every crank's energy output

00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,415

gets channeled

out of the miniverse

00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:56,501

to be used by us.

00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,169

No more gooble boxes.

00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,064

RICK: I gotta tell you, Zeep,

with no disrespect,

00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:02,465

I really think what

you're doing here is unethical.

00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,925

It's not cool.

- What?!

00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,928

Y-Y-You got the people

on this world slaving away

00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,638

making your power.

00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,223

I mean, that's

what I call slavery.

00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,058

No, no, no,

they work for each other

00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,268

in exchange for money,

which they then...

00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:17,563

Well, that just sounds like

slavery with extra steps.

00:07:17,647 --> 00:07:21,400

Eek barba dirkle, somebody's

gonna get laid in college.

00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,693

Rick, a word?

00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:23,820

What the hell was that?

00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:25,655

I know.

"eek barba dirkle"?

00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,218

That's a pretty

fucked up "ooh la la."

00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,908

No, what are you doing

telling this guy

00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,785

that his miniverse is unethical?

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,912

D-Do you not see

the hypocrisy here?

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:36,082

Holy crap.

You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!

00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,018

Somewhere on this planet,

there's gotta be an arrogant...

00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,503

scientist prick on the verge

of microverse technology,

00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,773

which would threaten to make

Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,

00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:44,966

forcing Zeep

to say microverses are bad,

00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,844

at which point he'll realize

what a hypocrite he's being.

00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,346

His people will go back to

stomping on their gooble boxes,

00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,974

and you and I will be

on ice cream street, baby!

00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,976

Eating that motherfucking

ice cream!

00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,894

Slurping, slurping,

slurping it up.

00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:59,188

Wh-Wh-Why are you making

that face?

00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:00,690

Holy shit!

00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,859

It's me. I've convinced

the people of this planet

00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,819

that I'm a traveler

from another world.

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,922

You don't think that's over-

[burps]... doing it a little?

00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,133

I mean, you can achieve the same

effect with a pair of...

00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,277

Never mind. You know what?

I shouldn't be so critical.

00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,577

I'm an alien.

00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,787

Places, please.

We're about to land.

00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,543

[Coughs]

Too fast.

00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:23,254

[Sirens wailing]

- SUMMER: [whimpering]

00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,632

FEMALE VOICE: Law enforcement

converging on location.

00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:27,884

Keep Summer safe.

00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,636

No! No, no!

Don't hurt anybody!

00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,264

- Confirm

custom defense protocol...

00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,058

Keep Summer safe...

No physical force.

00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,227

- Yes.

- Processing.

00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:41,022

MAN: Come out of the vehicle

with your hands in the air!

00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,773

Scanning assailants.

00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,693

[warbling, beeping]

00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:48,154

Psychological option detected.

00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,198

[beeping]

Gestating.

00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:51,490

"Gestating"?

00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,159

Come out with your hands up,

00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,329

or we will be forced

to open fire!

00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,914

- Incoming!

- We got a device!

00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:59,707

Bomb! Bomb!

00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,294

Daddy?

00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,296

Oh, my god.

[sighs]

00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,881

H-Hunter?

- Daddy?

00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,549

What the hell?

00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,052

Jesus Christ, cease fire!

Stay back!

00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,178

H-H-Hunter?

00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,055

- Daddy.

- Hunter!

00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,057

[Sobbing] Oh, my dear,

sweet god, Hunter.

00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,391

Oh, my boy.

My boy.

00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,852

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It was all my fault.

00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:22,063

I'm sorry.

Daddy, leave the car alone.

00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,189

W-W-W-What?

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,316

[Distorted]

Leave the car alone.

00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,901

Hunter?

Don't...

00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,152

Oh, my god.

00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,404

Stay here, Hunter!

No!

00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:33,366

[Sobbing] God, no!

Hunter!

00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,534

FEMALE VOICE:

All of you have loved ones.

00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,203

All can be returned.

00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,830

All can be taken away.

00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,874

Please step away

from the vehicle.

00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,419

Keep Summer safe.

00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:48,214

And if you continue

to turn your flooble cranks,

00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,800

I will bring you

other great alien advancements.

00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,219

- Hey, lemme ask you something.

- Yes?

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,888

Any of your, uh, scientists

working on anything new?

00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,348

All of them.

That's their job.

00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,892

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I mean, like, energy-wise.

00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,270

Anyone working on, say,

a little universe in a box?

00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,397

How do you know about that?

It's top secret.

00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,359

ZEEP: So remember... A crank

a day is not nearly enough.

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,111

[laughs]

Crank it.

00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,905

I told them this means

"peace among worlds."

00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,323

How hilarious is that?

00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:15,992

Re-Really funny, Zeep.

00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:18,077

Hey, Zeep, the fake president

of your fake world

00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,538

has something fake important

to show you.

00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,833

MAN:

It's not much now,

00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,876

but once I learn to accelerate

the temporal field,

00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,421

I'll be able to interact with

any sentient life that evolves

00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,173

and introduce them

to the wonders of electricity

00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:34,260

via a pulley-based device

I call a blooble yank.

00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,470

But what they won't know is...

00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,431

You'll be taking

most of their energy.

00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:39,890

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get it.

00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,435

[Burps]

It's show-[burps]... time.

00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150

You do realize this will make

the flooble crank obsolete?

00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,987

This is wrong, Kyle.

What you're doing is wrong.

00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,364

You're basically...

[scoffs] This is slavery.

00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,867

You're talking about creating

a planet of slaves.

00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,410

[Burps]

Told you, Zeep.

00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,287

Oh, they won't be slaves.

00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,450

They'll work for each other

and pay each other money.

00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:08,544

That just sounds like slavery

with ex... tra... steps.

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,338

- What?

- Wait a minute.

00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:13,049

Did you create my universe?

Is my universe a miniverse?

00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,259

- Microverse!

- Uh, teenyverse.

00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:17,219

- Ugh!

- You bastard!

00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,180

Much obliged.

00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,016

- What the hell is happening?

- This is healthy. Trust me.

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,893

You're my battery, motherfucker!

00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,186

[Groans]

That's all you are.

00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,188

I made you.

Your microverse sucks!

00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,374

And your miniverse is the size

of a fucking lobster tank!

00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,441

It's wack!

00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,485

Are they not really aliens?

00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,862

Nah, they're just

a couple of crazy,

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,906

wacky scientists, you know?

00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,449

So he made a universe,

00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,201

and that guy is

from that universe.

00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,495

- You're my battery!

- And that guy made a universe.

00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:46,082

And that's the universe

where I was born.

00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,334

Where my father died.

00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,586

Where I couldn't make time

for his funeral

00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:55,049

because I was working

on my universe.

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,884

- I made you!

- [laughs] Yeah.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,594

Science, huh?

Ain't it a thing.

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,930

You know, one time,

Rick sh... accidentally shot

00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:02,598

his laser pistol

right through my hand.

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:06,227

You know, I mean, like,

Old-Lady Science, you know?

00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,062

She's a real...

00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,456

You got to hang on tight,

you know?

00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,233

Because she... she...

She bucks pretty hard.

00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,319

Ooh, boy, what...

Oh, my god, no!

00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,325

- Teenyverse.

- Teenyverse.

00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,454

Come on, come on, come on.

00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,665

Pterodactyl!

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,083

[laughs]

- Asshole!

00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,668

When I get

out of this teenyverse,

00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,503

I'm gonna smash it to pieces

with you in it.

00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,272

Yeah, well, when I get

out of this teenyverse,

00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,941

I'm gonna get out of

the surrounding miniverse

00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,776

and then the microverse

around that, and guess what?

00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,718

Don't make things worse, Rick!

00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,720

Uh, he's not gonna destroy

your universe.

00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,764

You know, we... we need it

to start our car.

00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,808

That's what you used

my universe for...

00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,685

To run your car?

00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,353

Yeah, but don't

flatter yourself.

00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:52,857

There's always AAA,

you fucking cock sucker!

00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,525

What's he doing?

What's he crafting?

00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,235

I can craft stuff, too, pal!

00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,154

Just like I crafted

your reality!

00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:01,282

You crafty son of a...

00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,534

Ow! I crafted the guy

that created

00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,411

the planet you're standing on!

00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,888

Yeah, and I made the stars

that became

00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,265

the carbon

in your mother's ovaries!

00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,915

I didn't ask to be born!

00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,542

All right, that's it!

I'm out.

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,294

I-I'm gonna go

into the wilderness,

00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,813

and I'm gonna make

a new life for myself

00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,297

among the tree people.

00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,923

I-It can't be worse

than this.

00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,609

Sure. Okay, Morty,

Just be back before sundown

00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,926

or the tree people will eat you.

00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,136

That's a myth!

00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,096

W-W-Why are you trying

to start a myth?

00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,723

It's a prehistoric planet,

Morty.

00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,433

Someone has to bring

a little culture.

00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,185

And I-i-it certainly

can't be someone

00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,104

whose entire culture powers

my brake lights!

00:13:32,188 --> 00:13:34,607

[Sirens wailing]

00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,151

Go, go, go!

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,570

Oh, my god.

Oh, god.

00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,572

What are we gonna do now?

00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,991

FEMALE VOICE: I am unable

to destroy this army.

00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,994

To clarify, I am quite able to

destroy this army,

00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,622

but you will not permit it.

- Correct.

00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:53,584

You also refuse to authorize

emotional countermeasures.

00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,045

If you're talking

about the melting ghost babies,

00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,880

yes, please, no more of that.

00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340

[Warble]

Confirmed.

00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,008

[sighs]

00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,052

I am currently constructing

a security measure

00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,970

in compliance

with your parameters.

00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,140

But I do want to say

you are not making this easy.

00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:09,892

You know you're

kind of a dick, right?

00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,895

My function is

to keep Summer safe,

00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:16,065

not keep Summer being,

like, totally stoked

00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:19,026

about, like,

the general vibe and stuff.

00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,737

That's you.

That's how you talk.

00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,993

Hey, that's my deer!

00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,829

Aaaaaaah!

00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,164

Raah!

00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:35,292

I hope your god is

as big a dick as you.

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,548

My god's the biggest dick

that's never existed.

00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,758

Why do you think I'm even here?

00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,009

[Snake hisses]

00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:46,679

[Eagle screeches]

You're here...

00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,139

because you created

someone smarter than you.

00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,935

Oh, I thought we were both here

00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,145

because I created

a universe of idiots.

00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,154

Kalo kada sha la.

00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:06,699

Holy shit. Morty?

I haven't seen you in months!

00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,534

You're leading the tree people?

00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:09,952

Huh.

That's a step up.

00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,245

We have no leaders.

00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,831

We follow

only the will of the forest.

00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,040

Ooh. Wow.

00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,458

Gaaaaay.

00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,043

That is pretty gay.

00:15:18,127 --> 00:15:19,962

You two call yourselves

geniuses,

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673

but you have spent

this time learning nothing.

00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,508

Come with me into the forest.

00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:27,136

There is something

I wish to teach you.

00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:34,101

This is Ku'ala, the spirit tree.

00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,103

For generations,

it has guided the...

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,398

You have to get us

the fuck outta here.

00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,275

These people are

backwards savages.

00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,943

They eat every third baby

00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,070

because they think

it makes fruit grow bigger.

00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:47,573

Everyone's gross, and they all

smell like piss all the time.

00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,242

I m... I m... I miss my family.

I miss my laptop.

00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:52,077

I masturbated

to an extra-curvy piece

00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:53,579

of driftwood the other day!

00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,289

Look, I-I don't care

what it takes.

00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,999

You two are putting aside

your bullshit,

00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,376

and you're working together

to get us back home.

00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,295

No can do, Morty.

I just can't.

00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,005

I just don't see how I can...

00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,298

Ro ro dah no gah!

00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,092

You're smart.

You'll figure it out.

00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:09,345

[Guns cocking]

You have 10 seconds

00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,263

to get out of the ship!

00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:14,058

10, 9...

00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,392

All right, not bad.

00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,478

I guess you're

an okay proto recombinator.

00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,147

I've certainly seen

worse ionic cell dioxination.

00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,940

If this works, drinks are on me.

00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,651

If drinks are on you,

you're gonna need

00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:25,361

a second mortgage on that tower.

00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,945

I'm an alcoholic.

00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,447

Opium addict.

00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,699

[Both laugh]

00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:33,285

All right, okay, okay,

okay, wrap it up.

00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953

You guys are the fucking worst!

00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,246

Your gods are a lie!

00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,791

Fuck you, fuck nature,

and fuck trees!

00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,503

Yes! You did it!

Yes!

00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,296

Hey, uh, how about that drink?

00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,132

Sure, I just need to go grab

my wallet from inside my ship.

00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,717

Oh, is your wallet in your ship?

00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,302

That's where

the transporter is, too,

00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,804

so why don't we come with?

00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,140

It's cool.

I'll be back in a sec.

00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:58,977

You know how long a second can

take in a microverse?

00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,146

Run, Morty! That asshole's

willing to risk...

00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,832

everything he cares

about just to defeat me!

00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,233

He's psychotic!

00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,526

[Both pant]

00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,821

- Morty, hop on my back.

- Why?

00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,323

Go, go [burps]

Sanchez ski shoes.

00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,494

- Aaaaaah!

- ...eight...

00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,704

[panting]

00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,080

Aaaah!

Oof!

00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,373

[All grunting]

00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,959

- Hold still.

- [grunts]

00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,794

Oh, hey, guys.

00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,380

I just finished

cooking us a feast.

00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,173

- Aaaah!

- Holy...

00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,467

- You monster!

- Whoa. Bad tour.

00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,094

...seven...

00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,738

[elevator bell dings]

Hey, you gotta sign out.

00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,098

Nothing you do matters!

Your existence is a lie!

00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,727

If that were

really true, then...

00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,979

- I'm here to see Ron Mendleson.

- Third floor.

00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,689

Would you like

to go to dinner with...

00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,357

Uh, no.

00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:47,860

[Both panting]

00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,903

You may have created

this universe, Rick,

00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573

but I live in it.

- Shit!

00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,416

What are we gonna do, Rick?

We're so screwed.

00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,261

He's gonna get to the ship

and smash the microverse,

00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,745

and then he's gonna kill us!

00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,472

Quick, Morty, you've got

to turn into a car.

00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,123

- What?!

- A long time ago...

00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,892

I implanted you with

a subdermal chip that could

00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,716

call upon dormant nanobots

in your bloodstream

00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,045

to restructure your anatomy

and turn you into a car.

00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,547

- Oh, my god!

- Concentrate, Morty.

00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,983

Concentrate and turn

into a car, Morty.

00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,550

[Grunts]

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,194

Never mind. Here's a taxi.

Get in. It's fine.

00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,928

...six...

00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,724

- Hey, Zeep.

- Huh?

00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,435

Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.

00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,395

Aaah!

00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:24,855

We did it, Morty.

00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,916

Now let's get out of here

and destroy this whole universe.

00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,275

Excuse me?

00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360

...five...

- Sir?

00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:32,905

[Spiders hiss]

00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,698

- Holy hell.

- Sir!

00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:35,824

[Tires screech]

00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,034

Hold your fire!

00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,745

[Spider snarls]

00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,288

What's going on?

00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,766

FEMALE VOICE: I have brokered

a peace agreement

00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,167

between the giant spiders

and the government.

00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,587

Thanks to the skilled diplomacy

of this mysterious space car,

00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,507

from this day forward,

human and spiderkind will live

00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,467

side by side in peace.

00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,219

We will stop bombing them,

00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,280

and they will no longer use

their telepathic abilities

00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,723

to make us wander into webs

for later consumption.

00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:01,350

Instead, we will work together

00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,811

to make this world

a better place for all,

00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,146

no matter how many legs.

00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,357

What do we do

about the space car?

00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,691

Leave it alone.

00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,360

I mean, what did it

really do, anyways?

00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,754

Kill a guy

and paralyze his buddy?

00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:15,572

[chuckles] Not a bad trade

for spider peace.

00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,533

All right, that's it.

Move out!

00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,332

[laughs]

I love this spider!

00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,042

FEMALE VOICE:

Summer is safe.

00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,627

All right, I get it.

00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,841

ZEEP:

Riiiick!

00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,509

[Thunder crashes]

00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,177

Don't do it.

00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,514

You quit school, but you

still got some learning to do.

00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:48,313

[Both grunting]

00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,568

[Both groan]

00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,278

Aah!

00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,779

Unh!

00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,496

[Snorts, spits]

00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,540

Class dismissed.

00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,917

Geez.

00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,467

[Bottles clatter]

00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,094

- You all right?

- Uh-Huh!

00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,387

What are you doing, Rick?

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,097

I'm pretty sure

the battery's dead.

00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,473

Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?

00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,142

Well, let's see.

[engine turns over]

00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,561

Hey, wait... Huh?

I don't get it.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,855

Of course you don't.

But Zeep did.

00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,458

He knew that once I got

back to my car,

00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,358

one of two things

was gonna happen...

00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:35,444

I was gonna have to toss

a broken battery,

00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,363

or the battery wouldn't

be broken.

00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:46,622

Peace among worlds, Rick.

00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:47,831

Jesus.

00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,499

Yeah.

Listen to that baby purr.

00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,168

You were right, Morty...

00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,812

We really just needed to

be honest with those guys.

00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,046

All right, here we go.

00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,383

Thank y-o-o-o...

00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,218

See, Morty?

This is what it's all about.

00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,887

This is why we do what we do.

00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,472

- Uh-Huh.

- Ew! What the hell?

00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,599

Jesus!

There's flies in my ice cream.

00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:06,892

Presidential decree...

00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,353

All ice cream is now

for all beings,

00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,938

no matter how many legs.

00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,606

What the fuck

did you do, Summer?!

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,329

It was your ship!

Your stupid ship did it!

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,079

- Don't blame my ship!

- It melted a child!

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028

My ship doesn't do anything

unless it's told to!

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,780

I don't want to hear it, Summer!

00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,865

Your boobs are

all hanging about,

00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,784

and you ruined ice cream

with your boobs out.

00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,535

And don't even try

to deny it, either.

00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:26,745

MORTY:

[groans]

00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,616

[Car alarm chirps]

00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,661

[Engine revs, students scream]

00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:14,126

[Alarm blaring, horn honking]

00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,669

Oh, my god!

00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,129

Did you get any of that?

00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172

It's a good show!

00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,508

with a "Ball Fondlers"

movie franchise.

00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,636

I can't believe the things

this reality considers PG-13.

00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:12,389

- Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous.

- Don't be, Morty.

00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:15,308

There's pros and cons

to every alternate timeline.

00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,559

Fun facts about this one...

00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,061

It's got giant,

telepathic spiders,

00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,396

11 9/11s,

00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,481

and the best ice cream

in the multiverse!

00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,149

- Shut up!

- Whoa!

00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:25,694

We're gonna go get

some ice cream, motherfucker!

00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,030

Oh, great.

00:00:29,114 --> 00:00:30,782

Oh, boy.

W-What's wrong, Rick?

00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,505

Is it the quantum carburetor

or something?

00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:34,536

"Quantum carburetor"?

Jesus, Morty.

00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,538

You can't just add

a s... sci-fi word

00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,540

to a car word

and hope it means something.

00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,042

Looks like something's wrong

with the microverse battery.

00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:42,669

We're gonna have to go inside.

00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,295

Um, go inside what?

00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,172

The battery, Morty.

Be right back, Summer.

00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,674

Stay put,

don't touch any buttons,

00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,677

and ignore all random thoughts

that feel... spidery.

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,345

Wait!

You can't leave me here!

00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,638

You'll be fine.

00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:55,223

Ship, keep Summer safe.

00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,392

Keep Summer safe.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018

Ohh!

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,855

Ugh.

Wonderful.

00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,278

Hey, excuse me.

Hello.

00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,321

Um...

00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:12,323

What, you think

you're better than me?!

00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,409

Nobody's better than me!

00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:15,660

Hey!

Hey!

00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,750

Aah!

Aaaaah!

00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,585

- Keep Summer safe.

- Aaaaaaah!

00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,794

Hey, man, what the hell?!

00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:26,588

That was my daughter's

pediatrician! Aah!

00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,381

No, stop!

Don't kill him!

00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:29,716

Confirmed.

00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,259

Aah!

00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:34,137

Oh, god.

I can't feel my legs.

00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,388

Help!

Help!!

00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:36,723

Summer is safe.

00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,725

I don't feel safe.

00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,202

Confirmed.

00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,187

No.

00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,730

Oh, god, help me.

Help me!

00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,857

Help me, please!

You can help me!

00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,818

♪♪

00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,059

Oh, man.

Where are we, Rick?

00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,186

Morty, remember eight

seconds ago when... you said,

00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,730

"go inside what?"

And I said, "the battery"?

00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:27,454

Then we showed up here,

and I wasn't like,

00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:28,733

"Whoa, this is unexpected.

00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:30,401

This is not what I was

expecting, Morty.

00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:32,070

What a perplexing mystery

this is."

00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,714

All right, all right,

we're inside the battery.

00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,406

I get it. You don't have

to bust my balls.

00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,510

Huh, this isn't right.

This pipe's supposed to be...

00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,495

sending 20 terawatts of

juice up to the engine, Morty.

00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,338

Instead we've got... zero?

00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,693

Now what are these people doing?

00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,917

W-W-W-Whoa, people?

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,640

It's time for some

hands-on engine repair.

00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,295

All right, Morty,

hold on to something.

00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,421

Whoa!

00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,217

Holy crap!

00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,219

I thought we were

inside your car battery, Rick.

00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,888

T-T-This is like a whole

p-planet or something.

00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,852

Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty

proud of this bad boy.

00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,350

Check it out.

00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,394

I put a spatially

tessellated void

00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,354

inside a modified temporal field

00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,606

until a planet developed

intelligent life.

00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,276

I then introduced that life

to the wonders of electricity,

00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,611

which they now generate

on a global scale.

00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,506

And, you know, some of it goes

to power my engine

00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,115

and charge my phone and stuff.

00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,284

You have a whole planet

making your power for you?

00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,452

That's slavery.

- It's society.

00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:22,871

They work for each other, Morty.

00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:24,539

They pay each other.

They buy houses.

00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:26,100

They get married and make

children that replace them

00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,834

when they get

too old to make power.

00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,044

That just sounds like slavery

with extra steps.

00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:33,047

Ooh la la, someone's

gonna get laid in college.

00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,049

It appears we are

being revisited

00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,886

by the alien known as Rick,

who once gave our world

00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,263

the gift

of gooble box technology,

00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,515

which, when stomped on,

generates electricity,

00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,684

powering our homes

and businesses,

00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,579

improving our daily lives,

while safely removing

00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:51,065

the dangerous waste power

to a special disposal volcano.

00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,692

But why has Rick returned?

00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361

And what will he say

when he hears the big news?

00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,988

Let's find out.

00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,407

You need to tell these people

they're in a battery, Rick.

00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,743

It's messed up.

There's caterers down there.

00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,828

Th-Th-They're setting up

chafing dishes.

00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:05,204

Would you relax, Morty?

00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,057

There's nothing dishonest

about what we're doing.

00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,435

Now slap on these antennae.

They need to think we're aliens.

00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:12,462

- What? Why?

- Sh... Obviously...

00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,006

You really know

nothing about car repair.

00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,929

Wait for the ramp, Morty.

00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,764

They love the slow ramp.

00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,433

Really gets their dicks hard

when they see this ramp

00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,769

just slowly extending down.

00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,772

Greetings!

00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,193

Morty, you gotta flip them off.

00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,195

I told them it means

"peace among worlds."

00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,613

How hilarious is that?

00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,162

Coming through.

00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,122

Two real aliens walking

through here.

00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,124

Rick, our alien friend.

00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,126

Uh, Mr. President,

um, couldn't help but notice

00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,587

that you were having problems

generating power.

00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:57,048

That's correct.

We've evolved.

00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,343

Our most brilliant scientist,

Zeep Xanflorp,

00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,345

has developed a source of energy

00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,098

that makes gooble boxes

obsolete.

00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,016

I would love to see it.

00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,477

- Fuck You.

- What did you say to me?!

00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,937

"Fuck You."

00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,815

Y-You told me

it means "much obliged."

00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,859

Oh. Right.

Uh, b-blow me.

00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,695

No, no, no.

Blow me.

00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:26,953

Zeep, you have an honored guest

from beyond the stars.

00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,580

I said 12 quantum stabilizers,

not 11.

00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,416

Fix it or it's your ass.

00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,126

Chris, I'm in the middle

of something.

00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:36,337

Zeep, this is Rick...

The Alien.

00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,172

Rick The Alien.

00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,174

Rick The Alien...

00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:41,843

Really?

You're gonna pull that move?

00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,636

I guided

your entire civilization.

00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,680

Your people have

a holiday named Ricksgiving.

00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,640

They teach kids

about me in school.

00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:50,184

I dropped out of school.

It's not for smart people.

00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,103

Ohhhh, snap!

00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,022

Listen to me,

you arrogant little...

00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,233

R-Rick was hoping

to see your new energy source.

00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:00,236

I think he could learn

a lot from you, Zeep.

00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,863

Fine.

00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,906

It's hard for people to grasp,

00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,242

but inside that container is

an infinite universe

00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,244

with a planet capable

of generating

00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,413

massive amounts of power.

00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:12,749

I call it a miniverse.

00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834

Dumb Name.

00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,270

- Excuse me?

- Nothing.

00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,379

I mean, it's hard

for us to comprehend all this.

00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,441

Would it be possible

for us to get some kind of tour

00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,258

of your miniverse

from the inside?

00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,885

This isn't a fucking

chocolate factory.

00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,428

I don't have time.

00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,889

Didn't you say time goes

more slowly in the miniverse

00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,891

relative to the real world?

00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:32,268

Yes, Chris.

Thanks for reminding me of that.

00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,771

Great President.

All right, let's go.

00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,355

Whoa-Oh!

00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,524

Hold on to something.

00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,735

I put an unbounded vacuum

inside a temporal field

00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361

until a world developed.

00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,322

I then introduced

the people of this world

00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,617

to the wonders of electricity

in the form of a device

00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,535

I call a flooble crank.

00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,497

What they don't know is that 80%

of every crank's energy output

00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,415

gets channeled

out of the miniverse

00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:56,501

to be used by us.

00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,169

No more gooble boxes.

00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,064

I gotta tell you, Zeep,

with no disrespect,

00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:02,465

I really think what

you're doing here is unethical.

00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,925

It's not cool.

- What?!

00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,928

Y-Y-You got the people

on this world slaving away

00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,638

making your power.

00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,223

I mean, that's

what I call slavery.

00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,058

No, no, no,

they work for each other

00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,268

in exchange for money,

which they then...

00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:17,563

Well, that just sounds like

slavery with extra steps.

00:07:17,647 --> 00:07:21,400

Eek barba dirkle, somebody's

gonna get laid in college.

00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,693

Rick, a word?

00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:23,820

What the hell was that?

00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:25,655

I know.

"eek barba dirkle"?

00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,218

That's a pretty

fucked up "ooh la la."

00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,908

No, what are you doing

telling this guy

00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,785

that his miniverse is unethical?

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,912

D-Do you not see

the hypocrisy here?

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:36,082

Holy crap.

You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!

00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,018

Somewhere on this planet,

there's gotta be an arrogant...

00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,503

scientist prick on the verge

of microverse technology,

00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,773

which would threaten to make

Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,

00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:44,966

forcing Zeep

to say microverses are bad,

00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,844

at which point he'll realize

what a hypocrite he's being.

00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,346

His people will go back to

stomping on their gooble boxes,

00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,974

and you and I will be

on ice cream street, baby!

00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,976

Eating that motherfucking

ice cream!

00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,894

Slurping, slurping,

slurping it up.

00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:59,188

Wh-Wh-Why are you making

that face?

00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:00,690

Holy shit!

00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,859

It's me. I've convinced

the people of this planet

00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,819

that I'm a traveler

from another world.

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,922

You don't think that's over-

... doing it a little?

00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,133

I mean, you can achieve the same

effect with a pair of...

00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,277

Never mind. You know what?

I shouldn't be so critical.

00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,577

I'm an alien.

00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,787

Places, please.

We're about to land.

00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,543

Too fast.

00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,632

Law enforcement

converging on location.

00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:27,884

Keep Summer safe.

00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,636

No! No, no!

Don't hurt anybody!

00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,264

- Confirm

custom defense protocol...

00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,058

Keep Summer safe...

No physical force.

00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,227

- Yes.

- Processing.

00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:41,022

Come out of the vehicle

with your hands in the air!

00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,773

Scanning assailants.

00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:48,154

Psychological option detected.

00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,198

Gestating.

00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:51,490

"Gestating"?

00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,159

Come out with your hands up,

00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,329

or we will be forced

to open fire!

00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,914

- Incoming!

- We got a device!

00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:59,707

Bomb! Bomb!

00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,294

Daddy?

00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,296

Oh, my god.

00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,881

H-Hunter?

- Daddy?

00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,549

What the hell?

00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,052

Jesus Christ, cease fire!

Stay back!

00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,178

H-H-Hunter?

00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,055

- Daddy.

- Hunter!

00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,057

Oh, my dear,

sweet god, Hunter.

00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,391

Oh, my boy.

My boy.

00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,852

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It was all my fault.

00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:22,063

I'm sorry.

Daddy, leave the car alone.

00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,189

W-W-W-What?

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,316

Leave the car alone.

00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,901

Hunter?

Don't...

00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,152

Oh, my god.

00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,404

Stay here, Hunter!

No!

00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:33,366

God, no!

Hunter!

00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,534

All of you have loved ones.

00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,203

All can be returned.

00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,830

All can be taken away.

00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,874

Please step away

from the vehicle.

00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,419

Keep Summer safe.

00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:48,214

And if you continue

to turn your flooble cranks,

00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,800

I will bring you

other great alien advancements.

00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,219

- Hey, lemme ask you something.

- Yes?

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,888

Any of your, uh, scientists

working on anything new?

00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,348

All of them.

That's their job.

00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,892

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I mean, like, energy-wise.

00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,270

Anyone working on, say,

a little universe in a box?

00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,397

How do you know about that?

It's top secret.

00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,359

So remember... A crank

a day is not nearly enough.

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,111

Crank it.

00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,905

I told them this means

"peace among worlds."

00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,323

How hilarious is that?

00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:15,992

Re-Really funny, Zeep.

00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:18,077

Hey, Zeep, the fake president

of your fake world

00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,538

has something fake important

to show you.

00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,833

It's not much now,

00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,876

but once I learn to accelerate

the temporal field,

00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,421

I'll be able to interact with

any sentient life that evolves

00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,173

and introduce them

to the wonders of electricity

00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:34,260

via a pulley-based device

I call a blooble yank.

00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,470

But what they won't know is...

00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,431

You'll be taking

most of their energy.

00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:39,890

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get it.

00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,435

It's show-... time.

00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150

You do realize this will make

the flooble crank obsolete?

00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,987

This is wrong, Kyle.

What you're doing is wrong.

00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,364

- You're basically...

- This is slavery.

00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,867

You're talking about creating

a planet of slaves.

00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,410

Told you, Zeep.

00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,287

Oh, they won't be slaves.

00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,450

They'll work for each other

and pay each other money.

00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:08,544

That just sounds like slavery

with ex... tra... steps.

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,338

- What?

- Wait a minute.

00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:13,049

Did you create my universe?

Is my universe a miniverse?

00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,259

- Microverse!

- Uh, teenyverse.

00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:17,219

- Ugh!

- You bastard!

00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,180

Much obliged.

00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,016

- What the hell is happening?

- This is healthy. Trust me.

00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,893

You're my battery, motherfucker!

00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,186

That's all you are.

00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,188

I made you.

Your microverse sucks!

00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,374

And your miniverse is the size

of a fucking lobster tank!

00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,441

It's wack!

00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,485

Are they not really aliens?

00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,862

Nah, they're just

a couple of crazy,

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,906

wacky scientists, you know?

00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,449

So he made a universe,

00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,201

and that guy is

from that universe.

00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,495

- You're my battery!

- And that guy made a universe.

00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:46,082

And that's the universe

where I was born.

00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,334

Where my father died.

00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,586

Where I couldn't make time

for his funeral

00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:55,049

because I was working

on my universe.

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,884

- I made you!

- Yeah.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,594

Science, huh?

Ain't it a thing.

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,930

You know, one time,

Rick sh... accidentally shot

00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:02,598

his laser pistol

right through my hand.

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:06,227

You know, I mean, like,

Old-Lady Science, you know?

00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,062

She's a real...

00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,456

You got to hang on tight,

you know?

00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,233

Because she... she...

She bucks pretty hard.

00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,319

Ooh, boy, what...

Oh, my god, no!

00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,325

- Teenyverse.

- Teenyverse.

00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,454

Come on, come on, come on.

00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,665

Pterodactyl!

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,083

Asshole!

00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,668

When I get

out of this teenyverse,

00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,503

I'm gonna smash it to pieces

with you in it.

00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,272

Yeah, well, when I get

out of this teenyverse,

00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,941

I'm gonna get out of

the surrounding miniverse

00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,776

and then the microverse

around that, and guess what?

00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,718

Don't make things worse, Rick!

00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,720

Uh, he's not gonna destroy

your universe.

00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,764

You know, we... we need it

to start our car.

00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,808

That's what you used

my universe for...

00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,685

To run your car?

00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,353

Yeah, but don't

flatter yourself.

00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:52,857

There's always AAA,

you fucking cock sucker!

00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,525

What's he doing?

What's he crafting?

00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,235

I can craft stuff, too, pal!

00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,154

Just like I crafted

your reality!

00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:01,282

You crafty son of a...

00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,534

Ow! I crafted the guy

that created

00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,411

the planet you're standing on!

00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,888

Yeah, and I made the stars

that became

00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,265

the carbon

in your mother's ovaries!

00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,915

I didn't ask to be born!

00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,542

All right, that's it!

I'm out.

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,294

I-I'm gonna go

into the wilderness,

00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,813

and I'm gonna make

a new life for myself

00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,297

among the tree people.

00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,923

I-It can't be worse

than this.

00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,609

Sure. Okay, Morty,

Just be back before sundown

00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,926

or the tree people will eat you.

00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,136

That's a myth!

00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,096

W-W-Why are you trying

to start a myth?

00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,723

It's a prehistoric planet,

Morty.

00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,433

Someone has to bring

a little culture.

00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,185

And I-i-it certainly

can't be someone

00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,104

whose entire culture powers

my brake lights!

00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,151

Go, go, go!

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,570

Oh, my god.

Oh, god.

00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,572

What are we gonna do now?

00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,991

I am unable

to destroy this army.

00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,994

To clarify, I am quite able to

destroy this army,

00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,622

but you will not permit it.

- Correct.

00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:53,584

You also refuse to authorize

emotional countermeasures.

00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,045

If you're talking

about the melting ghost babies,

00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,880

yes, please, no more of that.

00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340

Confirmed.

00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,052

I am currently constructing

a security measure

00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,970

in compliance

with your parameters.

00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,140

But I do want to say

you are not making this easy.

00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:09,892

You know you're

kind of a dick, right?

00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,895

My function is

to keep Summer safe,

00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:16,065

not keep Summer being,

like, totally stoked

00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:19,026

about, like,

the general vibe and stuff.

00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,737

That's you.

That's how you talk.

00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,993

Hey, that's my deer!

00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,829

Aaaaaaah!

00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,164

Raah!

00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:35,292

I hope your god is

as big a dick as you.

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,548

My god's the biggest dick

that's never existed.

00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,758

Why do you think I'm even here?

00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:46,679

You're here...

00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,139

because you created

someone smarter than you.

00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,935

Oh, I thought we were both here

00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,145

because I created

a universe of idiots.

00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,154

Kalo kada sha la.

00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:06,699

Holy shit. Morty?

I haven't seen you in months!

00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,534

You're leading the tree people?

00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:09,952

Huh.

That's a step up.

00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,245

We have no leaders.

00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,831

We follow

only the will of the forest.

00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,040

Ooh. Wow.

00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,458

Gaaaaay.

00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,043

That is pretty gay.

00:15:18,127 --> 00:15:19,962

You two call yourselves

geniuses,

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673

but you have spent

this time learning nothing.

00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,508

Come with me into the forest.

00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:27,136

There is something

I wish to teach you.

00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:34,101

This is Ku'ala, the spirit tree.

00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,103

For generations,

it has guided the...

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,398

You have to get us

the fuck outta here.

00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,275

These people are

backwards savages.

00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,943

They eat every third baby

00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,070

because they think

it makes fruit grow bigger.

00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:47,573

Everyone's gross, and they all

smell like piss all the time.

00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,242

I m... I m... I miss my family.

I miss my laptop.

00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:52,077

I masturbated

to an extra-curvy piece

00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:53,579

of driftwood the other day!

00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,289

Look, I-I don't care

what it takes.

00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,999

You two are putting aside

your bullshit,

00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,376

and you're working together

to get us back home.

00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,295

No can do, Morty.

I just can't.

00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,005

I just don't see how I can...

00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,298

Ro ro dah no gah!

00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,092

You're smart.

You'll figure it out.

00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:09,345

You have 10 seconds

00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,263

to get out of the ship!

00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:14,058

10, 9...

00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,392

All right, not bad.

00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,478

I guess you're

an okay proto recombinator.

00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,147

I've certainly seen

worse ionic cell dioxination.

00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,940

If this works, drinks are on me.

00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,651

If drinks are on you,

you're gonna need

00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:25,361

a second mortgage on that tower.

00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,945

I'm an alcoholic.

00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,447

Opium addict.

00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:33,285

All right, okay, okay,

okay, wrap it up.

00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953

You guys are the fucking worst!

00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,246

Your gods are a lie!

00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,791

Fuck you, fuck nature,

and fuck trees!

00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,503

Yes! You did it!

Yes!

00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,296

Hey, uh, how about that drink?

00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,132

Sure, I just need to go grab

my wallet from inside my ship.

00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,717

Oh, is your wallet in your ship?

00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,302

That's where

the transporter is, too,

00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,804

so why don't we come with?

00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,140

It's cool.

I'll be back in a sec.

00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:58,977

You know how long a second can

take in a microverse?

00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,146

Run, Morty! That asshole's

willing to risk...

00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,832

everything he cares

about just to defeat me!

00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,233

He's psychotic!

00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,821

- Morty, hop on my back.

- Why?

00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,323

Go, go

Sanchez ski shoes.

00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,494

- Aaaaaah!

- ...eight...

00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,080

Aaaah!

Oof!

00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,959

Hold still.

00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,794

Oh, hey, guys.

00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,380

I just finished

cooking us a feast.

00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,173

- Aaaah!

- Holy...

00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,467

- You monster!

- Whoa. Bad tour.

00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,094

...seven...

00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,738

Hey, you gotta sign out.

00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,098

Nothing you do matters!

Your existence is a lie!

00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,727

If that were

really true, then...

00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,979

- I'm here to see Ron Mendleson.

- Third floor.

00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,689

Would you like

to go to dinner with...

00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,357

Uh, no.

00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,903

You may have created

this universe, Rick,

00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573

but I live in it.

- Shit!

00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,416

What are we gonna do, Rick?

We're so screwed.

00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,261

He's gonna get to the ship

and smash the microverse,

00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,745

and then he's gonna kill us!

00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,472

Quick, Morty, you've got

to turn into a car.

00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,123

- What?!

- A long time ago...

00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,892

I implanted you with

a subdermal chip that could

00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,716

call upon dormant nanobots

in your bloodstream

00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,045

to restructure your anatomy

and turn you into a car.

00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,547

- Oh, my god!

- Concentrate, Morty.

00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,983

Concentrate and turn

into a car, Morty.

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,194

Never mind. Here's a taxi.

Get in. It's fine.

00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,928

...six...

00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,724

- Hey, Zeep.

- Huh?

00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,435

Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.

00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,395

Aaah!

00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:24,855

We did it, Morty.

00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,916

Now let's get out of here

and destroy this whole universe.

00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,275

Excuse me?

00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360

...five...

- Sir?

00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,698

- Holy hell.

- Sir!

00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,034

Hold your fire!

00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,288

What's going on?

00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,766

I have brokered

a peace agreement

00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,167

between the giant spiders

and the government.

00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,587

Thanks to the skilled diplomacy

of this mysterious space car,

00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,507

from this day forward,

human and spiderkind will live

00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,467

side by side in peace.

00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,219

We will stop bombing them,

00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,280

and they will no longer use

their telepathic abilities

00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,723

to make us wander into webs

for later consumption.

00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:01,350

Instead, we will work together

00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,811

to make this world

a better place for all,

00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,146

no matter how many legs.

00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,357

What do we do

about the space car?

00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,691

Leave it alone.

00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,360

I mean, what did it

really do, anyways?

00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,754

Kill a guy

and paralyze his buddy?

00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:15,572

Not a bad trade

for spider peace.

00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,533

All right, that's it.

Move out!

00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,332

I love this spider!

00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,042

Summer is safe.

00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,627

All right, I get it.

00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,841

Riiiick!

00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,177

Don't do it.

00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,514

You quit school, but you

still got some learning to do.

00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,278

Aah!

00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,779

Unh!

00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,540

Class dismissed.

00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,917

Geez.

00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,094

- You all right?

- Uh-Huh!

00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,387

What are you doing, Rick?

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,097

I'm pretty sure

the battery's dead.

00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,473

Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?

00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,142

Well, let's see.

00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,561

Hey, wait... Huh?

I don't get it.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,855

Of course you don't.

But Zeep did.

00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,458

He knew that once I got

back to my car,

00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,358

one of two things

was gonna happen...

00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:35,444

I was gonna have to toss

a broken battery,

00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,363

or the battery wouldn't

be broken.

00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:46,622

Peace among worlds, Rick.

00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:47,831

Jesus.

00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,499

Yeah.

Listen to that baby purr.

00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,168

You were right, Morty...

00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,812

We really just needed to

be honest with those guys.

00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,046

All right, here we go.

00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,383

Thank y-o-o-o...

00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,218

See, Morty?

This is what it's all about.

00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,887

This is why we do what we do.

00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,472

- Uh-Huh.

- Ew! What the hell?

00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,599

Jesus!

There's flies in my ice cream.

00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:06,892

Presidential decree...

00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,353

All ice cream is now

for all beings,

00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,938

no matter how many legs.

00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,606

What the fuck

did you do, Summer?!

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,329

It was your ship!

Your stupid ship did it!

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,079

- Don't blame my ship!

- It melted a child!

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028

My ship doesn't do anything

unless it's told to!

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,780

I don't want to hear it, Summer!

00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,865

Your boobs are

all hanging about,

00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,784

and you ruined ice cream

with your boobs out.

00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,535

And don't even try

to deny it, either.

00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,669

Oh, my god!

00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,129

Did you get any of that?

00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172

It's a good show!

00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,800

с кино франчайзом

"Ласкатели шаров".

00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,070

А я не могу поверить, что тут

такое имеет рейтинг PG-13

00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,300

Да, я-я даже завидую

00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:12,810

Не надо, Морти

00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,710

У каждой альтернативной временной

линии есть свои плюсы и минусы

00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:16,986

несколько забавных фактов об этой:

00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:19,850

В ней есть гигантские пауки-телепаты,

одиннадцать 11-ых сентября

00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,800

и лучшее мороженное во

всей мультивселенной!

00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,800

- Да ладно!

- Да ладно!

00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,500

Мы идём за мороженым, сучары!

00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:29,800

О, здорово.

00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:31,400

Ой, ч-что случилось, Рик?

00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,240

Это квантовый карбюратор

или что-то типа того?

00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:35,370

"Квантовый карбюратор"? Боже, Морти.

00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,056

Нельзя просто добавить слово

из научной фантастики к

00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,356

названию детали машины и

надеяться, что это что-то значит.

00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,820

Хмм, похоже что-то не так с

батареей-микровселенной.

00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:42,850

Придётся залезть вовнутрь.

00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:45,080

Мм, вовнутрь чего?

00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,950

Батареи, Морти. Скоро вернёмся, Саммер.

00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,420

Сиди тут, не трогай никакие кнопки,

00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:51,820

и игнорируй все случайные... паучие мысли.

00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:53,260

Стойте! Вы не можете оставить меня!

00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:55,990

Всё будет в порядке.

Корабль, охраняй Саммер.

00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:58,000

Охранять Саммер.

00:00:58,030 --> 00:00:59,160

Оох!

00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,530

Ах. Замечательно.

00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:09,010

Эй, простите. Здрасте.

00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,080

Эмм...

00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,080

Что, ты думаешь, ты лучше меня?!

00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:15,150

Никто не лучше меня!

00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:16,380

Эй! Эй!

00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,420

А! Аааааа!

00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:23,960

- Аааааа!

- Охранять Саммер.

00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:25,220

Ей, что за чертовщина?!

00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,330

Это был педиатр моей дочки! Ааа!

00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,130

Нет, остановись! Не убивай его!

00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,460

Подтверждено.

00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,960

Ааа!

00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,830

О, боже, я не чувствую ног.

00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:36,100

Помогите! Помогите!

00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,490

Я себя так не чувствую.

00:01:37,491 --> 00:01:38,840

Саммер в безопасности.

00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:40,540

Подтверждено.

00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:42,910

Нет.

00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,480

О, боже, помоги мне. Помоги мне!

00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,480

Помоги мне, пожалуйста.

Ты можешь помочь мне!

00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:49,550

♪♪

00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:17,970

Перевод - savask, стили и тайминг -

alexeymil0, английские субтитры - XhmikosR

00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:21,380

Ого, где мы, Рик?

00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:22,810

Морти, помнишь, девять секунд назад

00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:24,450

ты сказал: "Вовнутрь чего?"

00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,920

А я сказал: "Батареи"?

00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,666

А потом мы очутились здесь, но я не сказал:

00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:28,890

"Ого, неожиданно

00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,890

Это не то, чего я ожидал, Морти.

00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,520

Какая же это невероятная загадка."

00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,520

Да да,

00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:34,460

мы внутри батареи, я понял.

00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:35,700

Не надо меня подкалывать.

00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:36,500

Хмм, это не правильно.

00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:37,860

Эта труба должна передавать

00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,670

20 тераватт в двигатель, Морти.

00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,500

А мы имеем... ноль?

00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:43,800

Что теперь эти люди делают?

00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,140

Ч-ч-ч-что, люди?

00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:47,840

Время для ручной починки двигателя.

00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,150

Ладно, Морти, держись за что-нибудь.

00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:50,640

Оу!

00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:54,510

Ё-моё!

00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,826

Я думал, мы внутри аккумулятора, Рик.

00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:59,080

А-а это вроде целой п-планеты.

00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,020

Спасибо, Морти. Я горжусь этим сорванцом.

00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,420

Погляди-ка.

00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:06,430

Я поместил пространственно-ячеистый вакуум

внутрь модифицированного темпорального поля

00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,860

и подождал, пока на планете

не появилась разумная жизнь.

00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:11,900

Потом я преподнёс этой цивилизации

чудеса электричества,

00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,846

которое они теперь производят

в глобальном масштабе.

00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,716

И, знаешь, часть этого электричества

питает мой двигатель,

00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:16,976

заряжает мой телефон и всё такое.

00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,500

У тебя есть целая планета,

чтобы производить энергию?

00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,810

Это рабство.

00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,980

Это социум.

Они работают друг на друга, Морти.

00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,910

Они платят друг другу.

Покупают дома.

00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,650

Женятся и рожают детей

00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,470

которые заменяют их, когда

родители становятся

00:03:27,482 --> 00:03:28,080

старыми, чтобы

производить энергию.

00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,180

Это звучит как усложнённое рабство.

00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,150

Оля-ля, кому-то перепадёт в колледже.

00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:35,550

Похоже, к нам снова прибыл

00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,490

пришелец, известный как Рик, который

однажды подарил нашему миру

00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,590

технологию губл-коробки,

00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:43,130

которая, когда на ней топчутся,

производит электричество

00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,800

что питает наши дома и производство,

00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:46,506

улучшает повседневную жизнь,

безопасно отводя

00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:51,100

излишнюю энергию в специальный вулкан.

00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:52,800

Почему Рик вернулся?

00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,440

И что он скажет, когда

услышит большую новость?

00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,080

Давайте узнаем.

00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,480

Ты должен сказать этим людям,

что они живут в батарее, Рик.

00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,980

Там неразбериха. Внизу официанты.

00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,180

О-о-они раскладывают сервировочные тарелки.

00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,276

Можешь расслабиться, Морти?

00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,620

Нет ничего нечестного в том, что мы делаем.

00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,190

Теперь одень эти антенны.

00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,090

- Они думают, что мы пришельцы.

- Что? Почему?

00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,030

Очевидно, ты не разбираешься

в автомеханике.

00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,130

Подожди трап, Морти.

00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:22,800

Они обожают медленный трап.

00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,700

У них реально встаёт, когда

они видят этот трап.

00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:28,010

Медленно опускающимся вниз.

00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,280

Приветствую!

00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,210

Морти, ты должен факануть им.

00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,220

Я сказал, что это знак "Мира среди миров"

00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,580

Уморительно, правда?

00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,220

Пробиваясь сквозь толпу,

00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:48,490

два настоящих пришельца подходят сюда.

00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,500

Рик, наш инопланетный друг.

00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,660

Эм, мистер президент,

эм, не мог не заметить

00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,830

ваши проблемы с производством

электричества.

00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,200

Верно, мы эволюционировали.

00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,670

Наш самый лучший учёный, Зип Занфлорп

00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,510

разработал новый источник энергии

00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:04,280

который делает губл-коробки устаревшими.

00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,010

Был бы рад взглянуть на это.

00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:08,100

Пошёл на *уй.

00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,780

Что ты сказал?!

00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:10,920

"Пошёл на *уй"

00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:13,790

В-вы сказали мне,

что это означает "Премного обязан".

00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:16,860

О, точно. Эм, о-отсосните меня.

00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,590

Нет, нет, нет. Отсосните меня.

00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:26,900

Зип, у вас почётный гость с далёких звёзд.

00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:29,850

Я сказал 12 квантовых

стабилизаторов, а не 11.

00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,580

Поправь это, или пеняй на себя.

00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,160

Крис, я занят.

00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:36,530

Зип, это Рик -

пришелец.

00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,030

Рик-пришелец.

00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,430

Рик-пришелец...

00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,030

Реально?

Ты будешь прикидываться?

00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:43,746

Я направил всю твою цивилизацию

на правильный путь.

00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:45,840

У твоего народа есть

праздник - день Рикодарения.

00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,470

Они рассказывают детям в школе обо мне.

00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:48,670

Я бросил школу.

00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:50,040

Это не место для умных людей.

00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,940

Ооо, боже.

00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:53,880

Послушай меня, ты маленький заносчивый

00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:57,050

Р-Рик хотел посмотреть на

твой новый источник энергии.

00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,080

Я думаю, он мог бы многому

у тебя научиться, Зип.

00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,590

Ладно.

00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:03,690

Людям тяжело понять,

00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,690

но внутри этого контейнера

целая бесконечная вселенная

00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,130

с планетой, которая может вырабатывать

чудовищное количество энергии.

00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,500

Я называю это минивселенной.

00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,560

Тупое название.

00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:15,970

Что, простите?

00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:15,970

Ничего.

00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,140

Я хочу сказать, что нам

сложно осознать это.

00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,870

Есть ли некоторая возможность

устроить своего рода тур

00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,740

по твоей минивселенной?

00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,700

Это не чёртова шоколадная фабрика.

00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,610

У меня нет времени.

00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,150

Разве ты не говорил, что время

идёт медленней в минивселенной,

00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,650

относительно реального мира?

00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,020

Да, Крис, спасибо, что напомнил.

00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,550

Хороший президент.

Ладно, пошли.

00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:36,090

Оу!

00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,250

Держитесь за что-нибудь.

00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:41,016

Я поместил неограниченный вакуум

внутрь темпорального поля

00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,616

и подождал, пока не образовалась вселенная.

00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,580

Потом я показал народу этого мира

00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:47,850

чудеса электричества в виде так называемого

00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,580

рычага-флубл.

00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,020

Но они не знают,

00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:54,190

что 80% всей энергии

выходит из минивселенной

00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,720

и используется нами.

00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:58,290

Больше не надо губл-коробок.

00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,266

Я должен сказать тебе, Зип,

без всякого презрения,

00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,660

я думаю, что то, что ты делаешь - неэтично.

00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,130

Это не здорово.

00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,130

Что?!

00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:07,100

Л-л-люди тут работают как рабы,

00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,840

чтобы произвести тебе энергию.

00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:10,340

Я хочу сказать, это рабство.

00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,270

Нет, нет, нет,

они работают друг на друга

00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:14,540

за деньги,

которые они потом...

00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:17,740

Ну, это звучит как усложнённое рабство.

00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:21,580

Ик-барба-дёкл, кому-то

перепадёт в колледже.

00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:22,880

Рик, отойдём?

00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,020

Что это только что было?

00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,820

Я знаю. "Ик-барба-дёкл"?

00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:27,620

Это довольно попорченное "О-ля-ля".

00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,290

Нет, ты говоришь этому парню,

00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,960

что его минивселенная неэтична?

00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:33,090

Ты не видишь тут лицемерие?

00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:35,000

Боже мой, ты прав, Морти.

00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,600

Лицемерие.

00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,730

Где-то на этой планете,

должен быть

00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:41,030

заносчивый вредный учёный,

работающий над микровселенной,

00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,340

которая сделает флубл-палки

Зипа устаревшими.

00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:45,146

Что заставит Зипа сказать, что

микровселенные это плохо,

00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:48,040

и тогда он поймёт, каким лицемером он был,

00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,980

его народ опять пойдёт

топтаться на губл-коробках,

00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:53,350

а мы с тобой будем на улице с мороженым!

00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,180

Есть это чёртово мороженое!

00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,180

Лизать и лизать его.

00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,390

П-п-п-почему ты делаешь

такое лицо?

00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:00,850

- Матерь божья!

- Матерь божья!

00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:01,940

Это я.

00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:03,990

Я убедил людей этой планеты,

что я путешественник

00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:04,990

из другого мира.

00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:06,990

Тебе не кажется, что ты

немного перестарался?

00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:08,676

То есть, ты мог бы добиться

того же эффекта

00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:09,960

с помощью пары...

А, на важно.

00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,406

Знаешь, я не должен быть таким критичным.

00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,800

Я же пришелец.

00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,840

Пожалуйста, по местам. Мы

собираемся приземляться.

00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,740

Слишком быстро.

00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:26,710

Прибывают стражи правопорядка.

00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:27,980

Охранять Саммер.

00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,380

Нет! Нет, нет!

Не причиняй им вред!

00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,390

Подтверждение индивидуального

протокола защиты...

00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:36,190

Охранять Саммер...

Без применения силы.

00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,365

Идёт обработка.

00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:38,510

Да.

00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:41,280

Выйти из машины с поднятыми руками!

00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,050

Сканирую противника.

00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:48,380

Найдена психологическая слабость.

00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,490

Вынашиваю.

00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,850

"Вынашиваю"?

00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:55,460

Выйти с поднятыми руками,

или мы будем вынуждены открыть огонь!

00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:58,260

Наступление!

Тут устройство!

00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,410

Бомба! Бомба!

00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,500

Папочка?

00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:05,500

О, боже мой.

00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,170

Хантер?

Папочка?

00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,940

Какого чёрта?

00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:11,270

Боже правый, прекратить огонь! Всем отойти!

00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:12,440

Х-х-хантер?

00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,240

Папочка.

Хантер!

00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,250

О, мой родной, боже, Хантер.

00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,580

О, мой мальчик.

Мой мальчик.

00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:20,050

Прости меня, прости.

Это всё по моей вине.

00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,250

Прости меня.

Папочка, отстаньте от машины.

00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:23,420

Ч-ч-ч-что?

00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:25,520

Отстаньте от машины.

00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,190

Хантер?

Не...

00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,320

О, боже мой.

00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,630

Не уходи, Хантер!

Нет!

00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:33,560

Боже мой, нет!

Хантер!

00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,920

У всех вас есть любимые.

00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,470

Всех их можно вернуть.

00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,000

Всех их можно забрать.

00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:42,300

Пожалуйста, отойдите от машины.

00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,610

Охранять Саммер.

00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,410

И если вы продолжите

жать на флубл-рычаги,

00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,110

я принесу вам больше грандиозных

инопланетных технологий.

00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,800

Эй, эм, можно вас кое-что спросить?

00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,450

Да?

00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,050

Работают ли какие-нибудь из ваших учёных

над чем-нибудь новым?

00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,590

Все до единого.

Это их работа.

00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,060

Да, да, да.

Но я имею ввиду, касательно энергии?

00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,506

Работает ли кто-нибудь над, допустим,

маленькой вселенной в коробке?

00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:04,630

Как ты узнал об этом?

Это строжайший секрет.

00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:08,560

Так что помните - жать раз в день

не достаточно.

00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,270

Жамкайте.

00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:13,100

Я сказал им, что это значит:

"Мир среди миров".

00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:14,600

Смешно, правда?

00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,210

Д-довольно забавно, Зип.

00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,570

Ей, Зип, фальшивый президент

твоего фальшивого мира

00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:20,680

хочет показать тебе

кое-что фальшиво-важное.

00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,050

Пока всё в процессе,

00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,450

но как я научусь ускорять

темпоральное поле,

00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,620

я смогу взаимодействовать

с любой разумной жизнью,

00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,450

которая эволюционирует, и открыть им

00:10:30,490 --> 00:10:33,220

чудеса электричества

с помощью устройства-тяги,

00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:34,496

которое я называю блубл-дёргалкой.

00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,890

Но о чём они не будут догадываться...

00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,676

Что ты будешь забирать

большинство их энергии.

00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,230

Да, да, да Я понял.

00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,600

Время зажигать.

00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:49,940

Ты понимаешь, что это сделает

флубл-рычаг устаревшим?

00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:53,280

Это неправильно, Кайл. То, что

ты делаешь, не правильно.

00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,580

Ты, попросту...

Это рабство.

00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:58,110

Ты говоришь о том, чтобы

сделать планету рабов.

00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,500

Говорил же, Зип.

00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,450

О, они не будут рабами.

00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,626

Они будут работать друг на друга,

платить друг другу деньги.

00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:08,690

Это звучит как... усложнённое рабство.

00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:10,490

Что?

00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,490

Погоди-ка.

00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:13,160

Ты создал мою вселенную?

Моя вселенная - минивселенная?

00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,500

Микровселенная!

00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,500

Эм, кроховселенная.

00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:17,330

Ух!

Ты, ублюдок!

00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,470

Премного обязан.

00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:21,990

Что за ерунда тут происходит?

00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,990

Это норма, поверь мне.

00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:24,010

Ты - моя батарейка, сучонок.

00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,310

Это всё, чем ты являешься.

00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,310

Я создал тебя.

Твоя микровселенная отстой!

00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,930

А твоя минивселенная размера

с грёбанный аквариум!

00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,710

Это ужас!

00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,020

Они не настоящие пришельцы?

00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,190

Нет, они просто парочка безумных,

поехавших учёных, понимаешь?

00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,590

То есть, он создал вселенную.

00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,290

А тот парень из той вселенной.

00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,620

А этот парень создал вселенную.

00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:46,230

И это была вселенная, в которой я родился.

00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,460

В которой умер мой отец.

00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,700

В которой я не смог найти

время прийти на его похороны

00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:55,200

потому, что я работал над моей вселенной.

00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,010

Я создал тебя!

00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,010

Да.

00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,710

Наука, хех?

Ну и вещица.

00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:01,040

Знаешь, однажды,

Рик вы... случайно выстрелил

00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,686

в мою руку из своего лазерного пистолета.

00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:06,280

Знаешь, я хочу сказать, ну,

старушка-наука, да?

00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,120

Она настоящая...

00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:09,450

Нужно держаться, да?

00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,290

Ведь она... она...

Сильно брыкается.

00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,320

О, что...

О, боже мой, нет!

00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,430

- Кроховселенная.

- Кроховселенная.

00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:26,110

Давай, давай, давай.

00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:27,250

Птеродактиль!

00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,290

Говнарь!

00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,920

Когда я выберусь из этой кроховселенной,

00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,820

я разломаю её на кусочки вместе с тобой.

00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,566

Да, ну, когда я

выберусь из этой кроховселенной,

00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:36,430

я выберусь из внешней минивселенной,

00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,390

а потом из микровселенной, и знаешь что?

00:12:38,430 --> 00:12:39,900

Не усугубляй, Рик!

00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,900

Он не уничтожит твою вселенную.

00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,900

Нам...

Она нужна нам, чтобы завести машину.

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,270

И для этого ты используешь мою вселенную?

00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,940

Чтобы питать машину?

00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,340

Да, но не льсти себе.

00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:52,070

У нас всегда есть батарейки

AAA на подмену, лошок!

00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,010

Что он делает?

Что он мастерит?

00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:56,510

Я тоже могу мастерить, приятель!

00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,380

Прямо как я смастерил твою вселенную!

00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,050

Ах ты умелый сукин...

00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,280

Ау!

00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,920

А я создал чувака, который создал

планету, на которой мы стоим!

00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,366

Да, а я создал звёзды, которые стали

углеродом в яичниках твоей мамки!

00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,160

Я не просил, чтобы меня рожали!

00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,590

Всё, хватит!

Я ухожу.

00:13:11,630 --> 00:13:13,460

Я-я пойду

в дикий лес.

00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,470

И сам начну новую жизнь среди лесных людей.

00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,100

Хуже быть не может.

00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:18,900

Ясно. Ладно, Морти.

00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,340

Только вернись до заката

или лесные люди съедят тебя.

00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,370

Это миф!

00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,310

П-п-почему ты пытаешься

создать миф?

00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,880

Это доисторическая планета, Морти.

00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,456

Кто-то должен привнести

немного культуры.

00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,110

И это точно не может быть тот,

00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:32,280

чья цивилизация питает

мои стоп-сигналы!

00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,850

Пошли, пошли, пошли!

00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,850

О, боже мой. О, Господи.

00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,580

И что мы будем теперь делать?

00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:44,420

Я не могу уничтожить эту армию.

00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:47,860

Вернее, я вполне могу,

00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:49,200

но Вы не разрешите сделать это.

00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,130

Верно.

00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,500

Вы также отказывайтесь дать разрешение

использовать психологические контрмеры.

00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:56,500

Если ты говоришь о плавящихся

малышах-призраках,

00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,470

то да, пожалуйста, не надо этого.

00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,470

Подтверждено.

00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:03,530

Сейчас я конструирую

меру безопасности

00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:05,410

в соответствии

с Вашими параметрами.

00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,750

Но, я хочу сказать,

Вы не делаете это простой задачей.

00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:10,350

Ты знаешь, что ты хамло, да?

00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:13,380

Моя функция -

охранять Саммер,

00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,520

а не потакать её самочувствию

00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:19,460

по поводу атмосферы

происходящего и всего такого.

00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:22,160

Это ты.

Это как ты говоришь.

00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,170

Эй, это мой олень!

00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,170

Аааааа!

00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,500

Ррра!

00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:35,610

Надеюсь твой бог

такой же негодяй, как и ты.

00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,250

Мой бог наибольший несуществующий негодяй.

00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,150

Как ты думаешь, почему я вообще здесь?

00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,190

Ты здесь потому,

00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,400

что создал кое-кого умнее тебя.

00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,370

О, а я думал мы оба здесь потому,

что я создал вселенную идиотов.

00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,440

Кало када ша-ла.

00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,580

Святые угодники, Морти?

00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:07,250

Я не видел тебя месяцы.

00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,820

Ты - вождь лесных людей?

00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,280

Хех.

Это шаг вперёд.

00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,480

У нас нет лидеров.

00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:14,120

Мы следуем только воле леса.

00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,290

Ооо. Вау.

00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,950

Гееейско.

00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,360

Это довольно по-гейски.

00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,230

Вы оба называете себя гениями,

00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,860

но вы потратили это время

так ничему и не научившись.

00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,760

Следуйте за мной в лес.

00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,330

Есть кое-что, чему я хочу научить вас.

00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:34,370

Это куала, дерево духов.

00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,340

На протяжении поколений,

оно направляло...

00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,680

Вы должны вытащить нас отсюда.

00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:41,550

Эти люди - дикари.

00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,180

Они съедают каждого третьего ребёнка

00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,366

потому, что они думают,

что от этого фрукты растут больше.

00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:47,890

Все грязные и постоянно воняют мочой.

00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,490

Я-я скучаю по семье.

Я скучаю по ноутбуку.

00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,760

Однажды я подрочил на округлую корягу!

00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,500

Мне без разницы, что для этого нужно.

00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,206

Вы двое отбрасываете в сторону

своё дерьмо,

00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:59,570

и работаете вместе, чтобы

вернуть нас домой.

00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,500

Это невозможно, Морти.

Я просто не могу.

00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,340

Я не могу понять как я могу...

00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:04,640

Ро-ро до но ха!

00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,410

Вы умные.

Вы разберётесь.

00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,540

У вас 10 секунд, чтобы выйти из корабля!

00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:13,480

10, 9...

00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,750

Ладно, неплохо.

00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,850

Думаю, ты нормальный прото-рекомбинатор.

00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,450

А я точно видел диоксинацию

ионных клеток и похуже.

00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,160

Если это сработает,

с меня бухло.

00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,860

Если бухло с тебя,

тебе потребуется

00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,590

вторая ипотека на ту башню.

00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:27,130

Я алкоголик.

00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,700

Сижу на опиуме.

00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:33,530

Ладно, хорошо, хорошо,

хорошо, закругляемся.

00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,440

Чуваки, вы худшие!

Ваши боги - ложь!

00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,940

Вы, природа, деревья - пошли в ****у!

00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:42,740

Да! Вы сделали это!

Да!

00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:44,510

Ей, как насчёт выпить?

00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,610

Да, пойду возьму кошелёк

в корабле.

00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:49,180

Твой кошелёк в корабле?

00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,220

Там же находится и транспортёр,

так что, почему бы нам не присоединиться?

00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,430

Спокойно.

Я вернусь через пару секунд.

00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:58,940

Знаешь, как долго может занять

секунда в микровселенной?

00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,970

Ау!

Беги, Морти!

00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:03,316

Этот говнюк хочет рискнуть всем.

Он просто хочет победить меня!

00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,480

Он психопат!

00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,680

Морти, запрыгивай мне на спину.

00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,680

Зачем?

00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:12,050

Вперёд-вперёд, лыжные ботинки санчез.

00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:14,800

Ааааа!

00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,890

...восемь...

00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,320

Аааа!

Уф!

00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,690

Не дёргайся.

00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:26,660

О, ей, парни. Я только

закончил готовить нам ужин.

00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,700

Аааа!

00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:28,470

Божьи...

00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,500

Ты, монстр!

00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,670

Воу, плохой тур.

00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,370

...семь...

00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,000

Ей, вы должны выписаться.

00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:36,540

Всё, что ты делаешь - бесполезно!

Твоё существование - ложь!

00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:40,380

Если это правда, то...

00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,456

Я здесь, чтобы посетить Рона Мендельсона.

Третий этаж.

00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,980

Не хочешь пойти поужинать с...

00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,780

Эм, нет.

00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,920

Может ты и создал эту вселенную,

Рик, но я живу в ней.

00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,460

*♪@&!

00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,630

Что мы будем делать, Рик?

Мы влипли.

00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,066

Он доберётся до корабля и

сломает микровселенную,

00:17:57,090 --> 00:17:58,090

а потом убъёт нас!

00:17:58,130 --> 00:17:59,660

Быстро, Морти, ты должен

превратиться в машину.

00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,160

Что?!

00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,600

Давным-давно, я ввёл тебе под кожу чип,

00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:05,100

который может запросить у спящих

нанороботов в твоей крови

00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,500

реорганизовать твоё телосложение

и превратить тебя в машину.

00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,770

О, Господи!

00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,770

Сконцентрируйся, Морти.

00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,570

Сконцентрируйся и превратись

в машину, Морти.

00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,610

Забей. Тут такси.

Забирайся, всё нормально.

00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:15,110

...шесть...

00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:18,950

- Хух?

- Ей, Зип.

00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:21,690

Счастливого Рикодарения, суууучара.

00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,820

Аааа!

00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,520

Мы сделали это, Морти.

00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,106

Теперь давай выберемся отсюда

и уничтожим всю эту вселенную.

00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,460

Простите?

00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:29,890

...пять...

00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:31,600

Сэр?

00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:34,930

Боже правый.

Сэр!

00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,200

Отставить огонь!

00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:41,740

Что происходит?

00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,510

Я заключила мирное соглашение

00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,610

между пауками-гигантами

и государством.

00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,050

Благодаря искусной дипломатии со стороны

этого таинственного космического корабля,

00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,980

с этого дня,

человеческая и паучья расы будут жить

00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,850

бок о бок в мире.

00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,690

Мы перестанем бомбить их,

а они больше не будут использовать

00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,796

свои телепатические способности

чтобы загонять людей в их сети

00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,460

для пожирания.

00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:02,566

Вместо этого мы будем работать вместе

чтобы сделать этот мир

00:19:02,590 --> 00:19:06,600

лучше для всех,

вне зависимости от количества ног.

00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:08,770

А что делать с кораблём?

00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:10,130

Оставьте его.

00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:11,800

То есть, что он вообще сделал?

00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,116

Убил парня

и парализовал его приятеля?

00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:16,010

Не худшая плата

за мир с пауками.

00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,980

Ладно, так точно.

Отступаем!

00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:22,500

Какие грязные сети мы распутали!

00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,720

Мне нравится этот паук!

00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:27,480

Саммер в безопасности.

00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,990

Ладно, я поняла.

00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,220

Рик!

00:19:35,990 --> 00:19:37,560

Не делай этого.

00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,860

Ты бросил школу, но тебе

есть ещё чему поучиться.

00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,680

Ааа!

00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:56,110

Ухх!

00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,990

Урок окончен.

00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,260

Божечки.

00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,500

Ты в порядке?

00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:19,500

Ага!

00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:20,770

Что ты делаешь, Рик?

00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,540

Я вполне уверен,

что батарея разряжена.

00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:23,870

О, ты уверен, Морти?

00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,080

Давай посмотрим.

00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:27,980

Эй, подожди... хух?

Я не понимаю.

00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,250

Конечно ты не понимаешь.

Но Зип понял.

00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,850

Он знал, что как я вернусь в машину,

00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,780

произойдёт одно из двух...

00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,850

Либо я выброшу сломанную батарею,

00:20:35,890 --> 00:20:38,720

либо она не будет сломана.

00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,030

Мир среди миров, Рик.

00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,230

Господи.

00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,570

Да.

Послушай как мурлычит эта малышка.

00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,370

Ты был прав, Морти...

00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,140

Мы должны быть честными с этими ребятами.

00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,370

Ладно, поехали.

00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,810

Спасииибо.

00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,810

Видишь, Морти?

Всё ради этого.

00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:02,286

По этому мы делаем то, что мы делаем.

00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:03,780

- Фу! Что за фигня?

- Ага.

00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:05,950

Боже!

У меня мухи в мороженом.

00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:07,220

Президентский указ...

00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:11,320

Всё мороженое теперь для всех созданий,

не важно сколько у них ног.

00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,420

Что за ***нь ты наделала, Саммер?!

00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:13,420

Это всё твой корабль!

00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,060

- Не вини мой корабль!

- Твой тупой корабль сделал это!

00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,930

- Мой корабль не делает ничего...

- Он расплавил ребёнка!

00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:18,460

- ...пока ему не прикажешь!

- Он сам убил его!

00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,340

- Я не хочу выслушивать это, Саммер!

- Мы почти умерли!

00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:22,400

Развесила свои сиськи,

00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:24,370

даже испортила мороженое

своими сиськами.

00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,100

И даже не пытайся отрицать.

00:22:16,290 --> 00:22:17,290

Ты что-нибудь понял?

00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:22,030

Это хорошее шоу.