Вспомнить Вэ Сэ Йо

00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:07,926

Did you buy us airline tickets?

00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,886

Aw, shoot. It was supposed

to be a surprise.

00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,346

I wanted to thank you

00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:12,823

for letting me live here

all this time,

00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,599

so I'm treating the family

to a vacation!

00:00:14,683 --> 00:00:15,892

Steve, you're so sweet.

00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,852

- Thanks, Uncle Steve!

- Best Uncle ever.

00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:19,312

Look out, world.

00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:20,814

The Smith family

is going to Paris!

00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:22,482

SUMMER:

Yeah! Awesome!

00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:24,585

Rick, I don't like glowing

rocks in the kitchen trash!

00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,236

Well, I don't like

00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:28,738

your unemployed genes

in my grandchildren, Jerry,

00:00:28,822 --> 00:00:30,907

but life is made

of little concessions.

00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,367

I...

You know what?

00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,868

You're gonna land

on your feet, Jer.

00:00:33,952 --> 00:00:35,846

Some company out there's

gonna thank their lucky stars

00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,664

they hired my little brother.

00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:38,665

Who the fuck are you?

00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,250

My goofy brother, Steve.

00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,460

[Chuckles] He's been

living here almost a year now.

00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:43,712

Are you losing your mind?

00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,380

Hey, someone's been spending

00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,257

too much time

around glowing rocks.

00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,401

- Am I right?

- [laughter]

00:00:48,425 --> 00:00:49,426

[Screaming]

00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:50,677

- Oh, my god!

- Call an ambulance!

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,678

JERRY: Oh, god! Steve!

00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:52,863

What the hell, Rick?!

What the hell?!

00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,156

Will everybody just relax

for a second?

00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,641

There's no such thing

as an "Uncle Steve."

00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:58,893

- That is an alien parasite.

[screeches]

00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:00,186

[Both gasp]

00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,855

But I've known him

my whole life.

00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,273

No, you haven't, Jerry.

00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:04,733

These telepathic

little bastards,

00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:06,443

they embed themselves

in memories,

00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,006

and th-then they use

those to multiply

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,821

and spread out,

take over planets.

00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,114

It's...

It's disgusting.

00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,282

Steve wasn't real?

00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:13,575

He's a real piece of shit.

00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,160

This is a big one.

Somebody probably

00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,846

tracked it in last week

on the bottom of their shoe

00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,329

on a piece of alien fruit.

00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,974

- Someone?

- Get off the high road, Summer.

00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:21,207

We all got pink eye

00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:23,051

because you won't stop

texting on the toilet.

00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,044

But Uncle Steve taught me

how to ride a bike!

00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,130

No, "Steve" put that memory

in your brain

00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:29,400

so he could live in your house,

eat your food, and multiply.

00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:31,050

We could be infested

with these things.

00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,719

[Belches]

So we got to keep an eye out

00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,637

for any zany, wacky

characters that pop up.

00:01:34,721 --> 00:01:36,181

Ooh, whee!

00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,742

Whatever you want, Rick!

We're here to help!

00:01:37,766 --> 00:01:39,309

Thanks,

Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,061

I always could count on you.

00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:45,690

♪♪

00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:14,969

♪♪

00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,765

All right. There's six of us,

and that's it.

00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,643

Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth,

Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.

00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:24,229

Maybe you got the first one

in time, Rick!

00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,272

- Can't afford to chance it.

- [beep]

00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:34,155

Dad, why does our house

have blast shields?

00:02:34,239 --> 00:02:35,591

Trust me, Beth,

you don't want to know

00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:36,884

how many answers

that question has.

00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,785

Ooh, gosh,

it feels claustrophobic!

00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286

Reminds me of that time

00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:42,455

we all got stuck

in the elevator together.

00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:46,417

Y... remember that?

After "The Hulk" musical?

00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:50,213

[Grunting]

[Muzak playing]

00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,507

Jerry, buttons don't work better

if you hit them harder,

00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,300

And foam fists

don't make you strong.

00:02:54,384 --> 00:02:56,344

I know.

Friends make you strong.

00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,513

I watched

the same musical you did.

00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,473

Why couldn't I bring

my portal gun?

00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:01,891

[Winces]

00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:03,577

Why did all the drinks

have to be extra large?

00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,228

Oh, the Hulk.

I just got that.

00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,814

Just pee your pants. I did it

the minute we got stuck.

00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:09,691

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.

00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,402

At least when I'm disgusting,

it's on purpose.

00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,362

Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine.

00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,532

I've always been here for

you guys, and I always will be.

00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:20,869

[Chuckles]

Somebody call for repairs?

00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,370

ALL:

Yay! Cousin Nicky!

00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,663

It's me, cousin Nicky.

00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,582

I'm walkin' here!

I mean, I'm not.

00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,542

I'm crouched

in the elevator shaft,

00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:30,253

but hey, I'm walkin' here!

00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,588

[laughter]

00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:33,256

It's true.

00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,550

We really do get into some

crazy situations as a family,

00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,760

mostly when

we're cooped up like this.

00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,846

Hey, maybe

Mr. Poopypants is right.

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,389

L-let's get

some fresh air.

00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:42,783

Come on, cousin Nicky.

You heard Rick.

00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,350

We have to stay quarantined

00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:46,036

until we know that there's

no more of these things.

00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,478

I hear you, Morty.

00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,272

Back in Brooklyn,

we got a sayin'...

00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,274

"We're walkin' here!"

[laughter]

00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:52,567

Nicky, get...

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:53,776

Oh!

[gasps]

00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,570

[Groaning]

What the...?

00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,572

Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!

00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,490

Six, Morty! There's supposed

to be six of us!

00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:01,743

If there's seven, then

that means somebody's not real.

00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,369

But how did you know

it was Nicky?

00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:05,014

I guessed. That's why I

aimed for his shoulder.

00:04:05,038 --> 00:04:06,873

So we can't trust

any of our memories now?

00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:09,083

Nicky was the reason we found

that old Nazi submarine.

00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,501

Did that not even happen?

00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:12,629

Well, of course it happened.

00:04:12,712 --> 00:04:16,299

Now that I possess

the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba,

00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,593

the world will tremble

before the Fourth Reich!

00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,886

This is the last time

00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,138

I ask you for help

on my history final, Rick.

00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,558

Hey, we got a word for Nazis

back in Brooklyn, pal.

00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:27,310

I'm comfortable being

called a Nazi.

00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,563

You think there's some other

word that will hurt my feelings?

00:04:30,647 --> 00:04:32,941

Yeah. Think before

you talk shit.

00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:36,027

Rah-gubaba,

help me kill America!

00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,112

ALL:

Mr. Beauregard!

00:04:38,196 --> 00:04:42,784

After due consideration,

I have elected not to retire.

00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,619

- ALL: Yeah!

- Oh, thank god!

00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,914

Now, I believe someone

has a final exam to attend.

00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:50,333

Set a course

for Morty's high school.

00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:52,794

Perhaps I'm biased, but if

that story never happened,

00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:55,630

then I wouldn't still be

the family butler.

00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:56,923

[Chuckles]

Dare to dream.

00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,007

Wait.

00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,343

And if Mr. Beauregard

wasn't our butler,

00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:03,805

it's safe to say the family'd be

in a hell of a lot of trouble.

00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,765

[laughter]

No! Don't flashback!

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,284

You're just gonna make

more swelling.

00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,535

- Don't worry, Jerry.

- Just relax.

00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:09,703

We called the fire department.

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,646

You know they won't

come here anymore.

00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:12,730

[Grunting]

00:05:13,398 --> 00:05:15,108

[All gasp]

00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:16,818

Marmalade is served.

00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,528

- Yeah!

- Yeah! Yeah!

00:05:18,611 --> 00:05:19,946

[Jerry laughs]

Oh, whee!

00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,824

I guess I take back what I said

about British cuisine.

00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:23,992

[laughter]

00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:25,177

[laughter]

Take that, Summer!

00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:26,786

We're trying to sleep.

00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,663

I don't want

to go to the dance alone.

00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:32,583

MR. BEAUREGARD:

Then perhaps you shouldn't.

00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,585

Aww.

Mr. Beauregard.

00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:37,755

- Shall we, master Morty?

- We shall.

00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,799

Oh, wait,

don't leave without letting

00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,676

Photography Raptor

take a picture.

00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,761

[Raptor screeches]

[camera shutter clicks]

00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:44,971

[laughter]

00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,098

Everybody stop remembering!

00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,850

These parasites

are like bed bugs,

00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:50,977

and every flashback

is another mattress. Look!

00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,604

There's only supposed to be

six people in this house.

00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:54,856

But there's always been 10.

00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:55,940

No!

00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,751

Uh, the fact

that I wrote this number down

00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:58,919

means that

there's four parasites.

00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,111

You sure about that, Rick?

00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,863

Begging your pardon,

master Rick,

00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,948

but I seem to recall

a great deal of confusion

00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,116

surrounding that number.

00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,576

All right, there's six of us.

00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:07,827

[Belches]

And that's it.

00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,538

Me, Morty, Jerry,

Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,832

Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary,

Photography Raptor,

00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,208

Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.

00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:16,085

Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.

00:06:16,169 --> 00:06:18,046

6, 10, what's the difference?

00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:20,631

I just love the number 6

for no reason!

00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:21,883

Where's my pencil at?

00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,259

Here, Rick!

Use me!

00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,053

Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!

00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:27,180

Yeah, I-I g...

I guess that is what happened,

00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:29,140

but I-I don't get

why I would do that.

00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,892

Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.

00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,894

Why do you think

I have one of these?

00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:34,937

[laughter,

camera shutter clicks]

00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:36,314

That's it.

Photos.

00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,940

Hard evidence.

00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,735

You're not in any of my photos,

Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,570

Well, what do you know

about this?

00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,031

You're not in any of mine.

00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:49,160

All I have are pictures of me

and my friends from school.

00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,788

What? What teenage girl

has pictures of her family?

00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,706

It's not like we're

Mormon or dying.

00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,834

I will admit it's suspicious

that Summer's only friend

00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,712

is a magic ballerina lamb

that we've never seen.

00:06:59,796 --> 00:07:00,797

Summer!

00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256

Tinkles!

00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:05,051

It's past my bedtime.

[giggles]

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,136

Not in Never Past Bedtime Land!

00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,055

Here we go!

00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,640

♪ Summer and Tinkles ♪

00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,141

♪ Friends with each other ♪

00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:15,228

♪ Living in

Never Past Bedtime Land ♪

00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,146

♪ No kitchen sinkles ♪

00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,940

♪ No little brother ♪

00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:21,943

♪ Going to raves

and waving our hands ♪

00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,837

[Rapping]

♪ Summer and Tinkle, friends to the end ♪

00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,506

♪ Group text the whole crew,

my motherfuckin' friends! ♪

00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,323

♪ Ketchup to the salt,

salt to the fry ♪

00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,884

♪ "T" to the "inkle"

with a capital "I" ♪

00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:30,701

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,890

- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

- Summer, we're trying to sleep.

00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:36,415

It was Tinkles!

00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,500

Tinkles?

00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:39,269

That is su... [belches]...

Suspicious.

00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,253

We're always hearing about

this Tinkles character,

00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,922

- But we never get to...

- Hi, everybody.

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,091

I'm Tinkles,

and these are my friends.

00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,259

[All sigh]

00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:47,927

See, everyone?

Tinkles is real.

00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,262

That means so am I.

00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,472

- Sorry, Summer.

- Man, I'm sorry, Summer.

00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:54,183

I was on the wrong side

of the pitchfork on this one.

00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:56,978

Okay, look, we shouldn't need

evidence or logic

00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,063

to know who's family

and who isn't.

00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,857

I know who the Smiths are.

00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,942

I've known Beth

since High School.

00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,819

And her husband, sleepy Gary,

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,029

is hands down

my absolute best friend.

00:08:07,113 --> 00:08:08,239

Thanks, Jerry.

00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,116

Beyond that,

no offense to any of you,

00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,534

but all bets are off.

00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:14,078

Look, I'm not used to being

this unsure for this long.

00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,597

I'm just gonna aim for shoulders

starting with the weird girl.

00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,622

Aah!

00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,000

- Grandpa Rick!

- Hold still, "Summer."

00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:21,252

Rick, that is my daughter.

00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,880

Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just

think that, sleepy Gary?

00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,174

I've known you for 15 years.

Don't make me hurt you.

00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,509

Rick, these are

our family and friends,

00:08:28,593 --> 00:08:30,344

the people we barbecue with.

00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:32,346

Have you forgotten the barbecue?

00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:33,848

Wait,

why would you want me to...

00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,171

You're one of them, aren't you?

00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:38,144

Rick. You love

those barbecues, Rick.

00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,478

You lo ve them.

Hai!

00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,938

Remember it, Rick?

00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,274

Shut up, Hamurai!

Shut up, Amish Cyborg!

00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,067

What is this?

'90s Conan?

00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:47,028

ALL:

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:48,321

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:50,114

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:50,198 --> 00:08:52,283

[Chatter]

You know what, Pencilvester?

00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,368

It took me my whole life

to realize it,

00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,037

but I love barbecuing.

00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,872

- You're good at it, Rick.

- Watch me, baby.

00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,916

I'm like Tom Cruise from,

um, "Cuisine"

00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:02,585

or w-whatever that movie's

called where he makes drinks.

00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,045

Yeah, check me out.

00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:05,630

I'm like Tom Cruise

from "Cuisine."

00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,048

[chuckles]

Yeah.

00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:08,549

Is that what it's called?

"Cuisine"?

00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,092

Wow!

Hey, everybody.

00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:12,345

Let's give it up

for the grillmaster Rick!

00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:13,596

Rick!

Rick! Rick!

00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,682

[All chanting "Rick"]

00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,601

Wait.

00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:21,145

[Breathing heavily]

00:09:21,771 --> 00:09:22,772

Noooooo!

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,357

Shoot. Now look.

00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,667

It's like

a "Where's Waldo?" page.

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,984

Can you find me?

00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,378

Check out

all these zany characters.

00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,279

We'll be right back

after these messages.

00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,158

I think

you should put down the gun

00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,701

and we should get you

to a doctor.

00:09:35,785 --> 00:09:37,638

What do you say we take down

these blast shields?

00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:39,181

- ALL: yeah.

- I can't do that, sleepy Gary.

00:09:39,205 --> 00:09:40,623

All right,

everybody listen to me.

00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,184

I don't know

if any of you guys are real,

00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:44,186

but this house has been infested

with fake loved ones

00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:45,753

that spread

through fake memories,

00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,648

and our planet will be destroyed

if they get out.

00:09:47,672 --> 00:09:48,798

[Grunts]

00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,716

But, Rick,

even you have to admit

00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,052

you do tend

to overreact to stuff.

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,512

You guys, we got to hurry.

00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,055

I just got back from Walmart.

00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,766

They're selling Nintendo 3DS

systems for $149.99 on sale,

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,143

plus every time you buy one,

you get a $50 gift card.

00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:03,521

Brings the total price down

to $110 after tax.

00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,690

Now, listen, we can flip

those sons of bitches

00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,066

for 230 bucks apiece easy!

00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,068

They're all limited-edition

"Zelda" ones.

00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,736

Hurry! Hurry!

Come with me!

00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,822

We can be rich,

and we also all get to keep one

00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:14,615

and we can play Nintendo games!

00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,784

Nintendo, give me free stuff.

00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,078

Okay, yes, I definitely

remember doing that,

00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,955

but also, I would never do that.

00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,581

Don't overreact, Rick.

00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,667

Sleepy Gary, a word?

Sure, Jerry.

00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,252

Rick, keep a level head, okay?

00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:29,005

'Cause I'll tell you a secret

about Frankenstein...

00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:33,217

He's actually

Frankenstein's monster.

00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,847

Sleepy Gary,

m-my head is filled

00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,223

with memories of our friendship.

00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:40,826

I'm convinced

that you're Beth's husband

00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,101

and I'm your friend,

00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:44,270

but if those memories

can't be trusted, then...

00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:45,730

Jerry, just say it.

00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,983

Sleepy Gary,

how do we know I'm real?

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,985

Jesus, Jerry.

00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,486

No, you're real.

00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:53,863

Hey, look at me.

00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,590

Now, I don't know

which way is up out there,

00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,159

but I know us,

and you're real, Jerry.

00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,869

Remember our vacation?

00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,249

They're filming that new "Star

Wars" movie down the coast.

00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,417

Should we check it out?

00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,502

Sure. Why not?

00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:19,055

Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.

00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,265

I'd like that.

00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:25,394

[Moaning]

00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,191

What are we doing?

00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,740

I don't give a damn

what else happens out there.

00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,409

You and I

are going to survive this.

00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:41,494

Okay.

00:11:42,078 --> 00:11:43,454

Hey, we agreed.

00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,206

Never in the house.

00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,560

That's a cool watch there, Rick.

00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:49,627

Can I check it out?

00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,253

Uh, no thank...

[grunts]

00:11:51,337 --> 00:11:52,254

Okay.

00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:53,338

Trying to figure out

00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:54,483

how to lower

the blast shields, huh?

00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:56,384

Anybody here

think it's suspicious

00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,844

that a lot of people in here

can't wait to get out of here?

00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:02,348

Ah, you're paranoid, Rick.

You've been paranoid since 'Nam.

00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,933

So, what are you gonna do

00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,410

when you rotate back

to the world, Frankenstein?

00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:08,104

Shi-i-i-i-t.

I'mma bust a...

00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,148

[grunts] No!

Get out of my head, parasite!

00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:12,066

- No!

- Drop it.

00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,293

Give me the gun, Frankenstein!

00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,569

[Indistinct shouting]

00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,321

Give it back!

00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,281

Yeah!

[applause]

00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:20,366

Frankenstein!

00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,998

[Breathing heavily]

Is anyone here even real?

00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,578

Am I the only real person

on Earth?!

00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:25,704

REVERSE GIRAFFE:

Maybe.

00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:28,541

Or maybe, just maybe,

we're all real.

00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:29,851

You know me.

I'm Reverse Giraffe.

00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,544

I have a short neck and legs.

00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,087

I went to college

with Hamurai. Hai!

00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,256

I saved Ghost In A Jar's

life in Vietnam.

00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,258

Boo rah!

And, Beth, how many times

00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,343

have I been a shoulder

for you to cry on?

00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,220

[Sighs]

Too many.

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,139

Okay,

so maybe we're just all fake.

00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:44,723

That don't make no sense!

00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,518

Or maybe there's only one

deceiver here...

00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,787

The person that keeps telling us

00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,439

the path to salvation

is being held prisoner

00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,773

and mistrusting each other.

00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:53,983

Hey, don't blame me!

00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,419

I tried to shoot Summer

10 minutes ago!

00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,778

I know we all have

beloved memories of Rick,

00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:59,738

but are we really

supposed to believe

00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,491

that a mad scientist inventor

with a flying car

00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:06,036

just showed up on our doorstep

after being gone for years?

00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,538

Yeah, you know, he does have

00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,040

a lot of really weird,

made-up sounding catchphrases.

00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:11,542

Wubba lubba dub dub!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,836

Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!

00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:16,964

And that's the wa-a-a-a-y

the news goes.

00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,174

Hit the sack, Jack.

00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,009

Uh-oh!

Somersault jump.

00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:21,093

AIDS!

00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:25,139

And that's why I always say

shum shum shlippedy dop!

00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:28,225

Grassss tastes bad-ah.

00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,352

No jumpin' in the sewer.

00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:31,562

Burger time!

00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,439

Rubber baby baby bunkers!

00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,441

Lick, lick, lick my balls!

00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:36,859

[laughs]

Yeah!

00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,152

Say that all the time.

00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,445

[All muttering]

00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,168

That's a fake-ass catchphrase

right there.

00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:43,365

Yeah, don't forget

his incredibly vague back story.

00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:44,992

Beth, I'm your father!

00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,243

Oh, are you, dad?

Are you?

00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:48,078

Rick, if you want

to prove you're real,

00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,289

just do what any of the rest

of us would do and...

00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,641

And... and open

the blast shields

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,375

and let us the hell out of here!

00:13:53,459 --> 00:13:56,462

Why don't you make me,

implausibly naive pubescent boy

00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,048

with an old Jewish

comedy writer's name?

00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,382

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:02,593

WOMAN:

In your face!

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,303

Give me the gun.

00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,431

I'm not doing this

in front of Pencilvester.

00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,225

Bring him to the garage.

00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:10,601

[All cheering]

00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,521

You listen to me, you

son of a bitch parasite scum.

00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,148

We could either do this

the easy way or the hard way.

00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:17,459

You know, y-y-y...

Do you want to live?

00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:18,943

Then open

the blast shield doors.

00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,712

Shut up, Morty,

you brainwashed, little turd

00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,197

that might not even be real

because I'm brainwashed, too.

00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,990

You know, Rick,

this isn't easy for us.

00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:26,718

You know, w-we all remember

you as a friend.

00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,494

Oh, oh, oh, really?

00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,430

Well, I remember you as a whiny,

little piece of shit, Morty!

00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,622

- Oh... oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,415

I've got

about a thousand memories

00:14:33,499 --> 00:14:35,727

of your dumb, little ass and

about six of them are pleasant.

00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,503

The rest is annoying garbage.

00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,564

So why don't you do us both

a favor and pull the trigger?

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:40,714

Do it!

Do it, motherfucker!

00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,717

Pull the fucking trigger!

00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,387

- [Screeches]

- Oh, wow.

00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,305

Baby Wizard was a parasite?

00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:50,182

He set me up with my wife.

00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:52,101

[Screeches]

- What the hell?

00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,644

I figured it out, Rick!

00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,247

The parasites can only create

pleasant memories.

00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:56,480

I know you're real

00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,608

because I have a ton

of bad memories with you!

00:14:59,692 --> 00:15:04,780

♪ These memories that we have ♪

00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:12,413

♪ These memories

that we cherish ♪

00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:20,496

♪ I wish that we can go

back to that time ♪

00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:24,341

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:26,594

Holy crap, Morty, you're right.

00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,738

Is... is... isn't that what you were trying

to make me understand by yelling at me?

00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,348

Well, yeah,

duh-doy.

00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:34,184

T-took you

long enough.

00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:35,269

[Whirring]

00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,271

RICK:

Now let's go, Morty.

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,440

We got a lot of friends

and family to exterminate.

00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,317

- [Grunts]

- [screaming]

00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,487

Everybody remain calm! This is

gonna take some explaining.

00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,240

We need to kill everyone that

we can only remember fondly.

00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:50,409

Who's got a bad memory

about Mrs. Refrigerator?

00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:53,245

I-I-I-I... everyone has

bad memories of me.

00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:55,164

You remember that one time?

00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:56,248

[Screaming]

00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:02,254

Ooh, man,

we couldn't stop screaming.

00:16:02,338 --> 00:16:05,674

Uh, roller coasters aren't bad,

Mrs. Refrigerator.

00:16:05,758 --> 00:16:07,384

They're thrilling.

00:16:07,468 --> 00:16:10,804

And you've been a perfect

companion to me my entire life.

00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,264

The jig is up!

00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:13,849

[Whimpering]

Get me out of here.

00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,559

Get me out of here!

00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,269

Aah!

[screeching]

00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:18,812

- [All gasping]

- Oh shit!

00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,689

Everybody back!

If you're not a parasite,

00:16:20,773 --> 00:16:22,733

you have nothing to fear.

So what about Summer?

00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,611

Why am I

always your go-to?

00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,322

[Grunts]

[whimpers]

00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,783

- Never go in my room again.

- I didn't!

00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:31,784

She's real.

00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,535

She's my bitch of a sister.

00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:35,537

Nice.

00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:37,956

♪♪

00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,626

Mom, are you driving me to...

00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,419

Hmm?

Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?

00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:43,796

Oh, my god.

Are you drunk?

00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,381

[Belches]

What are you?

00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:46,757

My wife coach?

- Your what?

00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,342

- Oh! God!

- Oh. Oh, my gosh.

00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,343

- Oh! God! Mom!

- Sweetheart, are you okay?

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,594

I didn't mean to...

00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:52,846

I'm gonna have a bruise!

It's picture day!

00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,849

It's not... don't overreact.

I can clean it up.

00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,851

[Sobs]

I want the police to take me!

00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,770

Morty, give a gun to the lady

00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,939

that got pregnant with me

too early

00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,316

and constantly makes it

our problem.

00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,068

Thank you, sweetie.

00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,069

Beth, Beth, please!

00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,254

I thought it was too

good to be true

00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,531

that we'd have

compatible kidneys.

00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,615

[Screeches]

00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,076

[Guns cock]

00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,120

[Screaming]

00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:19,873

[Blasting]

00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,001

[Screeching]

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,463

Come on, man.

00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,024

Haven't we ever had

an uncomfortable silence

00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,758

or an awkward fart

on a road trip?

00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:31,760

Come on, Pencilvester.

Give me anything.

00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,095

Rick, I'm Pencilvester.

00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,097

Listen to that name.

You can't kill me.

00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,182

You're right.

00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,560

Kill Pencilvester.

00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,479

[Screeches]

00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:44,440

[Screeches]

00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:46,734

[Screeching]

00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,111

[Tinkle!]

00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,905

Summer, I've always loved you!

00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,032

Yep.

[screeches]

00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,492

[All gasp]

00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,830

[Screeching]

00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,295

[Shouts]

00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:10,549

Oh, my god!

00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,259

I-I-I thought you went

to a concert!

00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:15,471

We forgot the tickets!

Why in the kitchen?!

00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,347

I do it everywhere!

Stop shaming me!

00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,141

You're not the victim here!

00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,161

I hate you, and I was thinking

about your friend Grace!

00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,186

Aaaaaah!

00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,106

[Screeching]

00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,777

Ah. Master Rick.

00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,779

Remember when you weren't

going to shoot me?

00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:32,863

[Screeches]

00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,574

I guess I did the Butler!

Ha ha!

00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,493

Does...

D-does that scan?

00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:38,827

Oh,

I-I get it.

00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,913

It's a play

on "The Butler Did It."

00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:42,372

Thanks, Ghost In A Jar.

00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,542

You always were good at pointing

out potentially obscure comedy.

00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:47,586

[Screeches]

00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:49,922

[Screeches]

00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,382

You got to hide me, sleepy Gary.

00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:53,801

Don't worry.

I have a plan.

00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,552

If we can get to my boat,

there's a...

00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:56,637

[screeches]

00:18:57,805 --> 00:18:58,931

No. No!

00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:02,893

Just send me to Gary.

I want to be with Gary.

00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,103

Oh, god.

[whimpering]

00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,980

Whoa.

What the hell?

00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,440

Look out for that homeless guy!

00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,734

Open the door!

Open the door! Open the door!

00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:13,070

There isn't time!

Just run!

00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,738

[Grunts]

Get out here and help me!

00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:17,491

They say you shouldn't do that!

Just run!

00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,369

Ugh. Sorry, Jerry.

You're real.

00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,579

[Crying]

I'm a parasite!

00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,748

Yeah, but you're real.

00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:28,794

Uh, uh, I need time

to forget about sleepy Gary.

00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,295

Me, too.

00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:32,923

[Whirring]

00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:35,384

RICK:

From now on, let's all be careful

00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,845

to wash our hands when

we get back from outer space.

00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:39,471

That goes for everyone.

00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,764

This is depressing.

00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,808

We killed every good

person in the house.

00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,810

We 're what's left?

What a family.

00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:46,478

At least we're real, Jerry.

00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:48,230

We're real.

Ricky ticky tavi!

00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,816

Ooh, whee!

Amen to that.

00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,527

Now, this little Poopypants

is hungry.

00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,529

Will somebody

pass me a pork chop?

00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:56,613

[Chomping]

00:19:58,657 --> 00:19:59,783

Huh.

00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,743

I-is... is something wrong,

Beth?

00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:02,953

Ow!

00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,246

[Screams]

Oh, my god!

00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,455

RICK:

No, Beth! Oh fuck!

00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,332

Wait, but I...

00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:08,643

- Oh, Beth! Why?!

- I need an ambulance!

00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,252

There's been a shooting.

My wife shot...

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,088

Uh, my... my wife shot

a long-time family friend.

00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,172

Why?

00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,942

Oh, my god, oh, my god,

oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:17,551

- I-I thought...

- Keep breathing!

00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,303

- Oh, god. What's happening?

- Look at me!

00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,905

Look at me!

Don't... don't fall asleep!

00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,890

Is... is this what

bleeding to death is?

00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,725

Oh, whee.

Is this how I die?

00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,893

Oh, geez!

Oh, my god!

00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:27,561

Why would you

do this? Beth.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,438

It's not supposed to hurt.

00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:30,314

- I-I thought...

[siren wails]

00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,399

Ooh, whee.

00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:36,653

♪♪

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,064

Oh, he... he's looking

a lot better.

00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,941

RICK:

Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.

00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,901

I made a similar mistake

years ago,

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,362

but, you know,

on a planetary scale.

00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,905

Is, um, is he mad at me?

00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,782

He's not pressing charges.

00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,368

I mean, that's got to be

the "You shot me" equivalent

00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,662

of not being mad.

00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:28,455

Can he have visitors?

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,791

He'd like to be alone.

00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:33,835

He told me

to tell you he's sorry

00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:35,879

you didn't have bad

memories of him?

00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:40,759

If you love him,

you should leave.

00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,594

[Door closes]

00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:47,557

And that's the wa-a-a-a-y

the news goes.

00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:48,642

[Screaming]

00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,352

MAN:

Did you get any of that?

00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,562

MAN:

It's-a good show-a.

00:00:06,341 --> 00:00:07,926

Did you buy us airline tickets?

00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,886

Aw, shoot. It was supposed

to be a surprise.

00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,346

I wanted to thank you

00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:12,823

for letting me live here

all this time,

00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,599

so I'm treating the family

to a vacation!

00:00:14,683 --> 00:00:15,892

Steve, you're so sweet.

00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,852

- Thanks, Uncle Steve!

- Best Uncle ever.

00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:19,312

Look out, world.

00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:20,814

The Smith family

is going to Paris!

00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:22,482

Yeah! Awesome!

00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:24,585

Rick, I don't like glowing

rocks in the kitchen trash!

00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,236

Well, I don't like

00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:28,738

your unemployed genes

in my grandchildren, Jerry,

00:00:28,822 --> 00:00:30,907

but life is made

of little concessions.

00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,367

I...

You know what?

00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,868

You're gonna land

on your feet, Jer.

00:00:33,952 --> 00:00:35,846

Some company out there's

gonna thank their lucky stars

00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,664

they hired my little brother.

00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:38,665

Who the fuck are you?

00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,250

My goofy brother, Steve.

00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,460

He's been

living here almost a year now.

00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:43,712

Are you losing your mind?

00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,380

Hey, someone's been spending

00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,257

too much time

around glowing rocks.

00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,401

Am I right?

00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:50,677

- Oh, my god!

- Call an ambulance!

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,678

Oh, god! Steve!

00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:52,863

What the hell, Rick?!

What the hell?!

00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,156

Will everybody just relax

for a second?

00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,641

There's no such thing

as an "Uncle Steve."

00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:58,893

- That is an alien parasite.

00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:01,855

But I've known him

my whole life.

00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,273

No, you haven't, Jerry.

00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:04,733

These telepathic

little bastards,

00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:06,443

they embed themselves

in memories,

00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,006

and th-then they use

those to multiply

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,821

and spread out,

take over planets.

00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,114

It's...

It's disgusting.

00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,282

Steve wasn't real?

00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:13,575

He's a real piece of shit.

00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,160

This is a big one.

Somebody probably

00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,846

tracked it in last week

on the bottom of their shoe

00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,329

on a piece of alien fruit.

00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,974

- Someone?

- Get off the high road, Summer.

00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:21,207

We all got pink eye

00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:23,051

because you won't stop

texting on the toilet.

00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,044

But Uncle Steve taught me

how to ride a bike!

00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,130

No, "Steve" put that memory

in your brain

00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:29,400

so he could live in your house,

eat your food, and multiply.

00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:31,050

We could be infested

with these things.

00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,719

So we got to keep an eye out

00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,637

for any zany, wacky

characters that pop up.

00:01:34,721 --> 00:01:36,181

Ooh, whee!

00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,742

Whatever you want, Rick!

We're here to help!

00:01:37,766 --> 00:01:39,309

Thanks,

Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,061

I always could count on you.

00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:45,690

♪♪

00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:14,969

♪♪

00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,765

All right. There's six of us,

and that's it.

00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,643

Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth,

Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.

00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:24,229

Maybe you got the first one

in time, Rick!

00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,272

Can't afford to chance it.

00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:34,155

Dad, why does our house

have blast shields?

00:02:34,239 --> 00:02:35,591

Trust me, Beth,

you don't want to know

00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:36,884

how many answers

that question has.

00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,785

Ooh, gosh,

it feels claustrophobic!

00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286

Reminds me of that time

00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:42,455

we all got stuck

in the elevator together.

00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:46,417

Y... remember that?

After "The Hulk" musical?

00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,507

Jerry, buttons don't work better

if you hit them harder,

00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,300

And foam fists

don't make you strong.

00:02:54,384 --> 00:02:56,344

I know.

Friends make you strong.

00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,513

I watched

the same musical you did.

00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,473

Why couldn't I bring

my portal gun?

00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:03,577

Why did all the drinks

have to be extra large?

00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,228

Oh, the Hulk.

I just got that.

00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,814

Just pee your pants. I did it

the minute we got stuck.

00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:09,691

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.

00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,402

At least when I'm disgusting,

it's on purpose.

00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,362

Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine.

00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,532

I've always been here for

you guys, and I always will be.

00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:20,869

Somebody call for repairs?

00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,370

Yay! Cousin Nicky!

00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,663

It's me, cousin Nicky.

00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,582

I'm walkin' here!

I mean, I'm not.

00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,542

I'm crouched

in the elevator shaft,

00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:30,253

but hey, I'm walkin' here!

00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:33,256

It's true.

00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,550

We really do get into some

crazy situations as a family,

00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,760

mostly when

we're cooped up like this.

00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,846

Hey, maybe

Mr. Poopypants is right.

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,389

L-let's get

some fresh air.

00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:42,783

Come on, cousin Nicky.

You heard Rick.

00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,350

We have to stay quarantined

00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:46,036

until we know that there's

no more of these things.

00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,478

I hear you, Morty.

00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,272

Back in Brooklyn,

we got a sayin'...

00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,274

"We're walkin' here!"

00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:52,567

Nicky, get...

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:53,776

Oh!

00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,570

What the...?

00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,572

Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!

00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,490

Six, Morty! There's supposed

to be six of us!

00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:01,743

If there's seven, then

that means somebody's not real.

00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,369

But how did you know

it was Nicky?

00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:05,014

I guessed. That's why I

aimed for his shoulder.

00:04:05,038 --> 00:04:06,873

So we can't trust

any of our memories now?

00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:09,083

Nicky was the reason we found

that old Nazi submarine.

00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,501

Did that not even happen?

00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:12,629

Well, of course it happened.

00:04:12,712 --> 00:04:16,299

Now that I possess

the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba,

00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,593

the world will tremble

before the Fourth Reich!

00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:19,886

This is the last time

00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,138

I ask you for help

on my history final, Rick.

00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,558

Hey, we got a word for Nazis

back in Brooklyn, pal.

00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:27,310

I'm comfortable being

called a Nazi.

00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,563

You think there's some other

word that will hurt my feelings?

00:04:30,647 --> 00:04:32,941

Yeah. Think before

you talk shit.

00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:36,027

Rah-gubaba,

help me kill America!

00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,112

Mr. Beauregard!

00:04:38,196 --> 00:04:42,784

After due consideration,

I have elected not to retire.

00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,619

- Yeah!

- Oh, thank god!

00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,914

Now, I believe someone

has a final exam to attend.

00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:50,333

Set a course

for Morty's high school.

00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:52,794

Perhaps I'm biased, but if

that story never happened,

00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:55,630

then I wouldn't still be

the family butler.

00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:56,923

Dare to dream.

00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,007

Wait.

00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,343

And if Mr. Beauregard

wasn't our butler,

00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:03,805

it's safe to say the family'd be

in a hell of a lot of trouble.

00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,765

No! Don't flashback!

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,284

You're just gonna make

more swelling.

00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,535

- Don't worry, Jerry.

- Just relax.

00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:09,703

We called the fire department.

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,646

You know they won't

come here anymore.

00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:16,818

Marmalade is served.

00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,528

- Yeah!

- Yeah! Yeah!

00:05:18,611 --> 00:05:19,946

Oh, whee!

00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,824

I guess I take back what I said

about British cuisine.

00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:25,177

Take that, Summer!

00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:26,786

We're trying to sleep.

00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,663

I don't want

to go to the dance alone.

00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:32,583

Then perhaps you shouldn't.

00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,585

Aww.

Mr. Beauregard.

00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:37,755

- Shall we, master Morty?

- We shall.

00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,799

Oh, wait,

don't leave without letting

00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,676

Photography Raptor

take a picture.

00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,098

Everybody stop remembering!

00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,850

These parasites

are like bed bugs,

00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:50,977

and every flashback

is another mattress. Look!

00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,604

There's only supposed to be

six people in this house.

00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:54,856

But there's always been 10.

00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:55,940

No!

00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,751

Uh, the fact

that I wrote this number down

00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:58,919

means that

there's four parasites.

00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:00,111

You sure about that, Rick?

00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,863

Begging your pardon,

master Rick,

00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,948

but I seem to recall

a great deal of confusion

00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,116

surrounding that number.

00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,576

All right, there's six of us.

00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:07,827

And that's it.

00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,538

Me, Morty, Jerry,

Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,832

Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary,

Photography Raptor,

00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,208

Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.

00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:16,085

Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.

00:06:16,169 --> 00:06:18,046

6, 10, what's the difference?

00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:20,631

I just love the number 6

for no reason!

00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:21,883

Where's my pencil at?

00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,259

Here, Rick!

Use me!

00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,053

Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!

00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:27,180

Yeah, I-I g...

I guess that is what happened,

00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:29,140

but I-I don't get

why I would do that.

00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,892

Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.

00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,894

Why do you think

I have one of these?

00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:36,314

That's it.

Photos.

00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,940

Hard evidence.

00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,735

You're not in any of my photos,

Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,570

Well, what do you know

about this?

00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,031

You're not in any of mine.

00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:49,160

All I have are pictures of me

and my friends from school.

00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,788

What? What teenage girl

has pictures of her family?

00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,706

It's not like we're

Mormon or dying.

00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,834

I will admit it's suspicious

that Summer's only friend

00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,712

is a magic ballerina lamb

that we've never seen.

00:06:59,796 --> 00:07:00,797

Summer!

00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256

Tinkles!

00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:05,051

It's past my bedtime.

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,136

Not in Never Past Bedtime Land!

00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,055

Here we go!

00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,640

♪ Summer and Tinkles ♪

00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,141

♪ Friends with each other ♪

00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:15,228

♪ Living in

Never Past Bedtime Land ♪

00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,146

♪ No kitchen sinkles ♪

00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,940

♪ No little brother ♪

00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:21,943

♪ Going to raves

and waving our hands ♪

00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,837

♪ Summer and Tinkle, friends to the end ♪

00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,506

♪ Group text the whole crew,

my motherfuckin' friends! ♪

00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,323

♪ Ketchup to the salt,

salt to the fry ♪

00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,884

♪ "T" to the "inkle"

with a capital "I" ♪

00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:30,701

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,890

- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

- Summer, we're trying to sleep.

00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:36,415

It was Tinkles!

00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,500

Tinkles?

00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:39,269

That is su......

Suspicious.

00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,253

We're always hearing about

this Tinkles character,

00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,922

- But we never get to...

- Hi, everybody.

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,091

I'm Tinkles,

and these are my friends.

00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:47,927

See, everyone?

Tinkles is real.

00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,262

That means so am I.

00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,472

- Sorry, Summer.

- Man, I'm sorry, Summer.

00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:54,183

I was on the wrong side

of the pitchfork on this one.

00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:56,978

Okay, look, we shouldn't need

evidence or logic

00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,063

to know who's family

and who isn't.

00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,857

I know who the Smiths are.

00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,942

I've known Beth

since High School.

00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,819

And her husband, sleepy Gary,

00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,029

is hands down

my absolute best friend.

00:08:07,113 --> 00:08:08,239

Thanks, Jerry.

00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,116

Beyond that,

no offense to any of you,

00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,534

but all bets are off.

00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:14,078

Look, I'm not used to being

this unsure for this long.

00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,597

I'm just gonna aim for shoulders

starting with the weird girl.

00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:16,622

Aah!

00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,000

- Grandpa Rick!

- Hold still, "Summer."

00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:21,252

Rick, that is my daughter.

00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,880

Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just

think that, sleepy Gary?

00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,174

I've known you for 15 years.

Don't make me hurt you.

00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,509

Rick, these are

our family and friends,

00:08:28,593 --> 00:08:30,344

the people we barbecue with.

00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:32,346

Have you forgotten the barbecue?

00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:33,848

Wait,

why would you want me to...

00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,171

You're one of them, aren't you?

00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:38,144

Rick. You love

those barbecues, Rick.

00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,478

You lo ve them.

Hai!

00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,938

Remember it, Rick?

00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,274

Shut up, Hamurai!

Shut up, Amish Cyborg!

00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,067

What is this?

'90s Conan?

00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:47,028

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:48,321

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:50,114

Remember the barbecue.

00:08:50,198 --> 00:08:52,283

You know what, Pencilvester?

00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,368

It took me my whole life

to realize it,

00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,037

but I love barbecuing.

00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,872

- You're good at it, Rick.

- Watch me, baby.

00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,916

I'm like Tom Cruise from,

um, "Cuisine"

00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:02,585

or w-whatever that movie's

called where he makes drinks.

00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,045

Yeah, check me out.

00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:05,630

I'm like Tom Cruise

from "Cuisine."

00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,048

Yeah.

00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:08,549

Is that what it's called?

"Cuisine"?

00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,092

Wow!

Hey, everybody.

00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:12,345

Let's give it up

for the grillmaster Rick!

00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:13,596

Rick!

Rick! Rick!

00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,601

Wait.

00:09:21,771 --> 00:09:22,772

Noooooo!

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,357

Shoot. Now look.

00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,667

It's like

a "Where's Waldo?" page.

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,984

Can you find me?

00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,378

Check out

all these zany characters.

00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,279

We'll be right back

after these messages.

00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,158

I think

you should put down the gun

00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,701

and we should get you

to a doctor.

00:09:35,785 --> 00:09:37,638

What do you say we take down

these blast shields?

00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:39,181

- yeah.

- I can't do that, sleepy Gary.

00:09:39,205 --> 00:09:40,623

All right,

everybody listen to me.

00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,184

I don't know

if any of you guys are real,

00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:44,186

but this house has been infested

with fake loved ones

00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:45,753

that spread

through fake memories,

00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,648

and our planet will be destroyed

if they get out.

00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,716

But, Rick,

even you have to admit

00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,052

you do tend

to overreact to stuff.

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,512

You guys, we got to hurry.

00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,055

I just got back from Walmart.

00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,766

They're selling Nintendo 3DS

systems for $149.99 on sale,

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,143

plus every time you buy one,

you get a $50 gift card.

00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:03,521

Brings the total price down

to $110 after tax.

00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,690

Now, listen, we can flip

those sons of bitches

00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,066

for 230 bucks apiece easy!

00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,068

They're all limited-edition

"Zelda" ones.

00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,736

Hurry! Hurry!

Come with me!

00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,822

We can be rich,

and we also all get to keep one

00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:14,615

and we can play Nintendo games!

00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,784

Nintendo, give me free stuff.

00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,078

Okay, yes, I definitely

remember doing that,

00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:20,955

but also, I would never do that.

00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,581

Don't overreact, Rick.

00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,667

Sleepy Gary, a word?

Sure, Jerry.

00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,252

Rick, keep a level head, okay?

00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:29,005

'Cause I'll tell you a secret

about Frankenstein...

00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:33,217

He's actually

Frankenstein's monster.

00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,847

Sleepy Gary,

m-my head is filled

00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,223

with memories of our friendship.

00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:40,826

I'm convinced

that you're Beth's husband

00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,101

and I'm your friend,

00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:44,270

but if those memories

can't be trusted, then...

00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:45,730

Jerry, just say it.

00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,983

Sleepy Gary,

how do we know I'm real?

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,985

Jesus, Jerry.

00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,486

No, you're real.

00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:53,863

Hey, look at me.

00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,590

Now, I don't know

which way is up out there,

00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,159

but I know us,

and you're real, Jerry.

00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,869

Remember our vacation?

00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,249

They're filming that new "Star

Wars" movie down the coast.

00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,417

Should we check it out?

00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,502

Sure. Why not?

00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:19,055

Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.

00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,265

I'd like that.

00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,191

What are we doing?

00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,740

I don't give a damn

what else happens out there.

00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,409

You and I

are going to survive this.

00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:41,494

Okay.

00:11:42,078 --> 00:11:43,454

Hey, we agreed.

00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,206

Never in the house.

00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,560

That's a cool watch there, Rick.

00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:49,627

Can I check it out?

00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,253

Uh, no thank...

00:11:51,337 --> 00:11:52,254

Okay.

00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:53,338

Trying to figure out

00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:54,483

how to lower

the blast shields, huh?

00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:56,384

Anybody here

think it's suspicious

00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,844

that a lot of people in here

can't wait to get out of here?

00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:02,348

Ah, you're paranoid, Rick.

You've been paranoid since 'Nam.

00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,933

So, what are you gonna do

00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,410

when you rotate back

to the world, Frankenstein?

00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:08,104

Shi-i-i-i-t.

I'mma bust a...

00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,148

No!

Get out of my head, parasite!

00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:12,066

- No!

- Drop it.

00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,293

Give me the gun, Frankenstein!

00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,321

Give it back!

00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,281

Yeah!

00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:20,366

Frankenstein!

00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,998

Is anyone here even real?

00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,578

Am I the only real person

on Earth?!

00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:25,704

Maybe.

00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:28,541

Or maybe, just maybe,

we're all real.

00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:29,851

You know me.

I'm Reverse Giraffe.

00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,544

I have a short neck and legs.

00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,087

I went to college

with Hamurai. Hai!

00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,256

I saved Ghost In A Jar's

life in Vietnam.

00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,258

Boo rah!

And, Beth, how many times

00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,343

have I been a shoulder

for you to cry on?

00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,220

Too many.

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,139

Okay,

so maybe we're just all fake.

00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:44,723

That don't make no sense!

00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,518

Or maybe there's only one

deceiver here...

00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,787

The person that keeps telling us

00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,439

the path to salvation

is being held prisoner

00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,773

and mistrusting each other.

00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:53,983

Hey, don't blame me!

00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,419

I tried to shoot Summer

10 minutes ago!

00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,778

I know we all have

beloved memories of Rick,

00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:59,738

but are we really

supposed to believe

00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,491

that a mad scientist inventor

with a flying car

00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:06,036

just showed up on our doorstep

after being gone for years?

00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,538

Yeah, you know, he does have

00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,040

a lot of really weird,

made-up sounding catchphrases.

00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:11,542

Wubba lubba dub dub!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,836

Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!

00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:16,964

And that's the wa-a-a-a-y

the news goes.

00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,174

Hit the sack, Jack.

00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:20,009

Uh-oh!

Somersault jump.

00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:21,093

AIDS!

00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:25,139

And that's why I always say

shum shum shlippedy dop!

00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:28,225

Grassss tastes bad-ah.

00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,352

No jumpin' in the sewer.

00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:31,562

Burger time!

00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,439

Rubber baby baby bunkers!

00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,441

Lick, lick, lick my balls!

00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:36,859

Yeah!

00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,152

Say that all the time.

00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,168

That's a fake-ass catchphrase

right there.

00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:43,365

Yeah, don't forget

his incredibly vague back story.

00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:44,992

Beth, I'm your father!

00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,243

Oh, are you, dad?

Are you?

00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:48,078

Rick, if you want

to prove you're real,

00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,289

just do what any of the rest

of us would do and...

00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,641

And... and open

the blast shields

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,375

and let us the hell out of here!

00:13:53,459 --> 00:13:56,462

Why don't you make me,

implausibly naive pubescent boy

00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,048

with an old Jewish

comedy writer's name?

00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,382

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:02,593

In your face!

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,303

Give me the gun.

00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,431

I'm not doing this

in front of Pencilvester.

00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,225

Bring him to the garage.

00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,521

You listen to me, you

son of a bitch parasite scum.

00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,148

We could either do this

the easy way or the hard way.

00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:17,459

You know, y-y-y...

Do you want to live?

00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:18,943

Then open

the blast shield doors.

00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,712

Shut up, Morty,

you brainwashed, little turd

00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,197

that might not even be real

because I'm brainwashed, too.

00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,990

You know, Rick,

this isn't easy for us.

00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:26,718

You know, w-we all remember

you as a friend.

00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,494

Oh, oh, oh, really?

00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,430

Well, I remember you as a whiny,

little piece of shit, Morty!

00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:31,622

- Oh... oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,415

I've got

about a thousand memories

00:14:33,499 --> 00:14:35,727

of your dumb, little ass and

about six of them are pleasant.

00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,503

The rest is annoying garbage.

00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,564

So why don't you do us both

a favor and pull the trigger?

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:40,714

Do it!

Do it, motherfucker!

00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,717

Pull the fucking trigger!

00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,387

Oh, wow.

00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,305

Baby Wizard was a parasite?

00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:50,182

He set me up with my wife.

00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:52,101

What the hell?

00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,644

I figured it out, Rick!

00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,247

The parasites can only create

pleasant memories.

00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:56,480

I know you're real

00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,608

because I have a ton

of bad memories with you!

00:14:59,692 --> 00:15:04,780

♪ These memories that we have ♪

00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:12,413

♪ These memories

that we cherish ♪

00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:20,496

♪ I wish that we can go

back to that time ♪

00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:24,341

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:26,594

Holy crap, Morty, you're right.

00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,738

Is... is... isn't that what you were trying

to make me understand by yelling at me?

00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,348

Well, yeah,

duh-doy.

00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:34,184

T-took you

long enough.

00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,271

Now let's go, Morty.

00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,440

We got a lot of friends

and family to exterminate.

00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,487

Everybody remain calm! This is

gonna take some explaining.

00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:48,240

We need to kill everyone that

we can only remember fondly.

00:15:48,324 --> 00:15:50,409

Who's got a bad memory

about Mrs. Refrigerator?

00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:53,245

I-I-I-I... everyone has

bad memories of me.

00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:55,164

You remember that one time?

00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:02,254

Ooh, man,

we couldn't stop screaming.

00:16:02,338 --> 00:16:05,674

Uh, roller coasters aren't bad,

Mrs. Refrigerator.

00:16:05,758 --> 00:16:07,384

They're thrilling.

00:16:07,468 --> 00:16:10,804

And you've been a perfect

companion to me my entire life.

00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,264

The jig is up!

00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:13,849

Get me out of here.

00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,559

Get me out of here!

00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,269

Aah!

00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:18,812

Oh shit!

00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,689

Everybody back!

If you're not a parasite,

00:16:20,773 --> 00:16:22,733

you have nothing to fear.

So what about Summer?

00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,611

Why am I

always your go-to?

00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,783

- Never go in my room again.

- I didn't!

00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:31,784

She's real.

00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,535

She's my bitch of a sister.

00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:35,537

Nice.

00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:37,956

♪♪

00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,626

Mom, are you driving me to...

00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,419

Hmm?

Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?

00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:43,796

Oh, my god.

Are you drunk?

00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,381

What are you?

00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:46,757

My wife coach?

- Your what?

00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,342

- Oh! God!

- Oh. Oh, my gosh.

00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,343

- Oh! God! Mom!

- Sweetheart, are you okay?

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,594

I didn't mean to...

00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:52,846

I'm gonna have a bruise!

It's picture day!

00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,849

It's not... don't overreact.

I can clean it up.

00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,851

I want the police to take me!

00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,770

Morty, give a gun to the lady

00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,939

that got pregnant with me

too early

00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,316

and constantly makes it

our problem.

00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,068

Thank you, sweetie.

00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,069

Beth, Beth, please!

00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,254

I thought it was too

good to be true

00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,531

that we'd have

compatible kidneys.

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,463

Come on, man.

00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:28,024

Haven't we ever had

an uncomfortable silence

00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,758

or an awkward fart

on a road trip?

00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:31,760

Come on, Pencilvester.

Give me anything.

00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:33,095

Rick, I'm Pencilvester.

00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,097

Listen to that name.

You can't kill me.

00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,182

You're right.

00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,560

Kill Pencilvester.

00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,905

Summer, I've always loved you!

00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,032

Yep.

00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:10,549

Oh, my god!

00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,259

I-I-I thought you went

to a concert!

00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:15,471

We forgot the tickets!

Why in the kitchen?!

00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:17,347

I do it everywhere!

Stop shaming me!

00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,141

You're not the victim here!

00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,161

I hate you, and I was thinking

about your friend Grace!

00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,186

Aaaaaah!

00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,777

Ah. Master Rick.

00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,779

Remember when you weren't

going to shoot me?

00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,574

I guess I did the Butler!

Ha ha!

00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,493

Does...

D-does that scan?

00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:38,827

Oh,

I-I get it.

00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,913

It's a play

on "The Butler Did It."

00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:42,372

Thanks, Ghost In A Jar.

00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,542

You always were good at pointing

out potentially obscure comedy.

00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,382

You got to hide me, sleepy Gary.

00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:53,801

Don't worry.

I have a plan.

00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,552

If we can get to my boat,

there's a...

00:18:57,805 --> 00:18:58,931

No. No!

00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:02,893

Just send me to Gary.

I want to be with Gary.

00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,103

Oh, god.

00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,980

Whoa.

What the hell?

00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,440

Look out for that homeless guy!

00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,734

Open the door!

Open the door! Open the door!

00:19:10,818 --> 00:19:13,070

There isn't time!

Just run!

00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,738

Get out here and help me!

00:19:14,822 --> 00:19:17,491

They say you shouldn't do that!

Just run!

00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,369

Ugh. Sorry, Jerry.

You're real.

00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,579

I'm a parasite!

00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,748

Yeah, but you're real.

00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:28,794

Uh, uh, I need time

to forget about sleepy Gary.

00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,295

Me, too.

00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:35,384

From now on, let's all be careful

00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,845

to wash our hands when

we get back from outer space.

00:19:37,928 --> 00:19:39,471

That goes for everyone.

00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,764

This is depressing.

00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,808

We killed every good

person in the house.

00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,810

We 're what's left?

What a family.

00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:46,478

At least we're real, Jerry.

00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:48,230

We're real.

Ricky ticky tavi!

00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,816

Ooh, whee!

Amen to that.

00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,527

Now, this little Poopypants

is hungry.

00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,529

Will somebody

pass me a pork chop?

00:19:58,657 --> 00:19:59,783

Huh.

00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,743

I-is... is something wrong,

Beth?

00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:02,953

Ow!

00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,246

Oh, my god!

00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,455

No, Beth! Oh fuck!

00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,332

Wait, but I...

00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:08,643

- Oh, Beth! Why?!

- I need an ambulance!

00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,252

There's been a shooting.

My wife shot...

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,088

Uh, my... my wife shot

a long-time family friend.

00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,172

Why?

00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,942

Oh, my god, oh, my god,

oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.

00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:17,551

- I-I thought...

- Keep breathing!

00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,303

- Oh, god. What's happening?

- Look at me!

00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,905

Look at me!

Don't... don't fall asleep!

00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,890

Is... is this what

bleeding to death is?

00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,725

Oh, whee.

Is this how I die?

00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,893

Oh, geez!

Oh, my god!

00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:27,561

Why would you

do this? Beth.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,438

It's not supposed to hurt.

00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:30,314

- I-I thought...

00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,399

Ooh, whee.

00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:36,653

♪♪

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,064

Oh, he... he's looking

a lot better.

00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,941

Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.

00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,901

I made a similar mistake

years ago,

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,362

but, you know,

on a planetary scale.

00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,905

Is, um, is he mad at me?

00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,782

He's not pressing charges.

00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,368

I mean, that's got to be

the "You shot me" equivalent

00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,662

of not being mad.

00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:28,455

Can he have visitors?

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,791

He'd like to be alone.

00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:33,835

He told me

to tell you he's sorry

00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:35,879

you didn't have bad

memories of him?

00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:40,759

If you love him,

you should leave.

00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:47,557

And that's the wa-a-a-a-y

the news goes.

00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,352

Did you get any of that?

00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,562

It's-a good show-a.

00:00:06,304 --> 00:00:08,220

сообщение. Ты что купил

нам билеты на самолёт?

00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:11,834

О, блин. Это должен был быть сюрприз.

Я хотел отблагодарить вас за то что

00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:15,226

позволили жить здесь всё это время и

решил отправить всю семью в отпуск.

00:00:15,426 --> 00:00:16,742

Стив, ты такой милый.

00:00:16,942 --> 00:00:17,464

Спасибо, дядя Стив!

00:00:17,664 --> 00:00:18,304

Самый лучший дядя.

00:00:18,504 --> 00:00:21,384

Берегись, мир! Семья Смит едет в Париж!

00:00:21,584 --> 00:00:23,490

Да! Офигенно!

00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,084

Рик, мне не нравятся святящиеся

камни в кухонном мусоре!

00:00:26,284 --> 00:00:28,687

Ну а мне не нравятся твои

безработные гены в моих

00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:31,403

внуках, Джерри, но жизнь

состоит из маленьких уступков.

00:00:31,603 --> 00:00:32,403

Я... знаешь что?

00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:35,362

Ты не пропадёшь, Джер. Какая-то

компания будет восхвалять

00:00:35,374 --> 00:00:37,906

небеса за то что смогли

нанять моего младшего брата.

00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,106

А ты чё за хуй?

00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:40,516

Мой забавный брат, Стив.

00:00:40,716 --> 00:00:44,041

Он тут уже почти год живёт.

Ты сходишь с ума?

00:00:44,241 --> 00:00:47,215

Эй, кое-кто проводит слишком много

времени со святящимися камнями. Я прав?

00:00:50,962 --> 00:00:52,078

Боже мой! Звоните в скорую!

00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:53,071

Боже! Стив!

00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:53,917

Что за херня, Рик?! Что за херня?!

00:00:54,117 --> 00:00:56,005

Вы можете на секунду успокоиться?

Нет

00:00:56,017 --> 00:00:58,316

никакого "Дяди Стива".

Это иноземный паразит.

00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,141

Но я знал его всю мою жизнь.

00:01:02,341 --> 00:01:04,716

Ничего подобного, Джерри.

Эти мелкие телепатические

00:01:04,728 --> 00:01:06,748

ублюдки, они вставляют

себя в воспоминания,

00:01:06,948 --> 00:01:09,328

а п-потом с их помощью

размножаются и распространяются,

00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:11,347

захватывают планеты. Это...

это отвратительно.

00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:12,547

Стив не был настоящим?

00:01:12,691 --> 00:01:14,632

Он настоящий кусок говна. Этот здоровенный.

00:01:14,832 --> 00:01:16,587

Наверное кто-то

притащил его на прошлой

00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:18,587

неделе, на подошве, или

на иноземном фрукте.

00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,170

Кто-то?

00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,490

Не всё так очевидно, Саммер.

00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,149

У нас у всех режет глаза,

потому что ты никак

00:01:22,161 --> 00:01:23,553

не можешь перестать

смситься в туалете.

00:01:23,577 --> 00:01:25,393

Но дядя Стив учил меня

ездить на велосипеде!

00:01:25,593 --> 00:01:27,656

Нет, "Стив" засунул эти

воспоминания тебе в голову чтобы

00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:29,706

он мог жить в твоём доме,

есть твою еду и размножаться.

00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:31,248

Мы можем быть заражены этими штуками.

00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:33,647

Так что нам надо быть на

чеку насчёт всяких юморных,

00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,495

прикольных типков которые

вдруг появляются.

00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:38,944

Ооой дааа. Как скажешь, Рик!

Мы здесь чтобы помочь!

00:01:39,144 --> 00:01:41,624

Спасибо, мистер Сраная Попка. Я

всегда мог на тебя положиться.

00:02:11,072 --> 00:02:13,159

Перевод - RAD

00:02:16,885 --> 00:02:18,593

Ладно. Тут нас шестеро и всё.

00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:21,792

Я, Морти, Джерри, Бэт, мистер

Сраная Попка и Саммер.

00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:25,126

Может ты вовремя прибил первого, Рик!

00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:26,366

Не могу на это полагаться.

00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:34,463

Пап, почему у нашего дома

есть взрывостойкие щиты?

00:02:34,663 --> 00:02:37,283

Поверь мне, Бэт, тебе не стоит знать

сколько есть ответов на этот вопрос.

00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:41,059

Боженьки, как-то клаустрофобно!

Напоминает мне

00:02:41,071 --> 00:02:44,434

тот раз когда мы вместе

застряли в лифте.

00:02:44,634 --> 00:02:46,774

В... помните? После мюзикла "Халк"?

00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:52,667

Джерри, кнопки не работают

лучше если ты бьёшь по ним

00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:54,868

сильнее и поролоновые кулаки

не делают тебя сильным.

00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:58,940

Я знаю. Друзья делают тебя сильным.

Я смотрел тот-же мюзикл что и ты.

00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:00,748

Почему я не взял свою портальную пушку?

00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:05,227

Почему все напитки должны быть

очень большими? А, Халк. Я понял.

00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:08,101

Просто мочись в штаны. Я сделала это

в ту-же минуту как мы застряли.

00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:12,357

А, ну да, да, стыдите меня. Я хотя бы

отвратительна по какой-то причине.

00:03:12,557 --> 00:03:18,158

Эй, ребят, всё будет хорошо. Я

всегда был с вами и всегда буду.

00:03:19,507 --> 00:03:20,906

Вызывали ремонт?

00:03:21,106 --> 00:03:22,722

Даа! Кузен Ники!

00:03:22,922 --> 00:03:26,796

Это я, кузен Ники. Тут рядом проходил!

В смысле не

00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:30,922

совсем. Я ползаю по лифтовой

шахте, но эй, я ж рядом!

00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:35,412

И вправду. Мы действительно

попадаем в сумасшедшие

00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,225

истории всей семьёй, особенно

когда сидим взаперти.

00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:41,610

Эй, может мистер Сраная Попка и прав.

Давайте выйдем на свежий воздух.

00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:44,051

Да ладно, кузен Ники. Ты слышал Рика.

Нам нужно оставаться в

00:03:44,063 --> 00:03:46,537

карантине пока мы не будем уверены

что здесь больше нет этих штук.

00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:51,226

Я понял, Морти. В Бруклине мы

говорили "Мы тут рядом проходили!".

00:03:51,426 --> 00:03:52,426

Ники...

00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:57,667

Что за... Кузен Ники был паразитом?!

00:03:57,867 --> 00:04:02,159

Шесть, Морти! Нас должно быть шесть! Если

нас семь, значит кто-то не настоящий.

00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:03,679

Но как ты узнал что это был Ники?

00:04:03,847 --> 00:04:05,459

Угадал. Поэтому целился ему в плечо.

00:04:05,659 --> 00:04:07,613

То есть теперь мы не можем верить

ни одному из наших воспоминаний?

00:04:07,637 --> 00:04:10,760

Из-за Ники мы нашли ту старую

нацистскую подлодку. Этого что не было?

00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,416

Да конечно было.

00:04:13,323 --> 00:04:16,413

Теперь, когда я обладаю

Посохом силы Ра-гУбаба,

00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:19,269

мир будет трепетать

перед четвёртым рейхом!

00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:22,572

Это последний раз когда я прошу тебя

помочь мне с экзаменом по истории, Рик.

00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:25,921

Эй, в Бруклине у нас было

прозвище для нацистов, приятель.

00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:29,459

Меня устраивает когда меня называют

нацистом. Думаешь какое-то

00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,875

другое слово оскорбит меня? Да.

Думай перед тем как нести чушь.

00:04:33,075 --> 00:04:36,072

Ра-губАба, помоги мне убить Америку!

00:04:36,272 --> 00:04:38,042

Мистер Борегард!

00:04:38,242 --> 00:04:42,500

Поразмыслив, я решил не уходить в отставку.

00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:43,712

Да!

00:04:43,912 --> 00:04:44,654

Слава Богу!

00:04:44,854 --> 00:04:50,247

Я думаю, кому-то надо сдать итоговый

экзамен. Курс на школу Морти.

00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:53,597

Возможно я придираюсь, но

если эта история никогда не

00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:57,181

происходила, я бы не был до сих

пор семейным лакеем. Мечтай.

00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,381

Погодите.

00:04:58,537 --> 00:05:01,011

А если бы мистер Борегард

не был нашим лакеем, можно

00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:03,696

смело сказать что наша семья

была бы по уши в проблемах.

00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:05,801

Нет! Не вспоминай!

00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,078

Так только больше опухнет.

Просто расслабься.

00:05:08,278 --> 00:05:09,954

Не беспокойся, Джерри. Мы вызвали пожарных.

00:05:09,978 --> 00:05:11,698

Ты же знаешь что они сюда больше не придут.

00:05:15,278 --> 00:05:17,172

Мармелад подан.

00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,124

Похоже мне надо забрать свои

слова о британском кузине.

00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,332

Получай, Саммер!

00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:26,908

Мы пытаемся заснуть.

00:05:27,108 --> 00:05:29,048

Я не хочу идти на танцы один.

00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:31,556

Ну может и не стоит.

00:05:31,756 --> 00:05:34,672

Ооо, мистер Борегард.

00:05:34,872 --> 00:05:36,678

Могу я, господин Морти?

00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,088

Конечно.

00:05:38,288 --> 00:05:41,502

Постойте, не уходите пока

Фотограптор не сделал снимок.

00:05:45,515 --> 00:05:48,319

Народ, хватит вспоминать! Эти

паразиты как постельные клопы,

00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:51,146

а каждое воспоминание это ещё

один матрас для них. Смотрите!

00:05:51,346 --> 00:05:53,907

В доме должно быть всего шестеро людей.

00:05:54,107 --> 00:05:55,250

Но всегда было десять.

00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:58,987

Нет! Тот факт что я написал этот

номер значит что здесь 4 паразита.

00:05:59,187 --> 00:06:01,022

Ты уверен, Рик?

00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:03,126

Прошу прощения, господин

Рик, но я испытываю

00:06:03,138 --> 00:06:05,182

некоторое замешательство

по поводу этого числа.

00:06:05,382 --> 00:06:09,400

Ладно, тут нас 6 и всё. Я, Морти,

Джерри, Бэт, мистер Сраная Попка,

00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:13,382

Франкенштейн, Сонный Гарри,

Фотограптор, мистер Борегард и Саммер.

00:06:14,613 --> 00:06:16,280

Эээ, пап, это вроде как 10 людей.

00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:21,794

6, 10, какая разница? Мне просто непонятно

почему нравится число 6! Где мой карандаш?

00:06:21,994 --> 00:06:23,399

Тут, Рик! Используй меня!

00:06:23,599 --> 00:06:24,866

О, спасибо, Пенсильвестер!

00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:29,373

Ага, я-я, вроде... Вроде так и было, но

я-я не понимаю зачем мне так делать.

00:06:29,573 --> 00:06:33,097

Все совершают ошибки, Рик. Как

ты думаешь, зачем мне это?

00:06:35,484 --> 00:06:38,335

Точно. Фотографии. Весомые улики.

Тебя нет ни

00:06:38,347 --> 00:06:41,086

на одной из моих фото,

мистер Сраная Попка.

00:06:41,286 --> 00:06:44,952

Ну а как насчёт того что

тебя нет ни на одной моей?

00:06:45,152 --> 00:06:47,960

У меня только фотографии

меня и моих школьных друзей.

00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:51,815

Что? У какой девчонки

подростка есть фотографии

00:06:51,827 --> 00:06:53,741

своей семьи? Мы ж не

мормоны и не умираем.

00:06:53,941 --> 00:06:56,896

Я должен заметить что подозрительно

что единственный друг Саммер

00:06:56,908 --> 00:06:59,692

это волшебная овечка балерина,

которую мы никогда не видели.

00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:01,912

Саммер!

00:07:02,112 --> 00:07:04,282

Тинклс! Уже время спать.

00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:08,512

Только не в стране где никогда

не время спать! Полетели!

00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:15,294

Саммер и Тинклс дружат друг с другом

И живут в стране где не надо спать

00:07:15,494 --> 00:07:22,053

Ни грязной посуды, ни младшего брата

Руки подними, мы будем танцевать

00:07:22,253 --> 00:07:25,537

Саммер и Тинкл, друзья на всегда

Разошлю сообщение всем блядским друзьям!

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:29,652

Кетчуп с солью, соль с картошкой.

"Т" с "инкл" и заглавной "И"

00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:35,107

Саммер, мы пытаемся заснуть.

00:07:35,307 --> 00:07:37,549

Это была Тинклс! Тинклс?

00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:42,016

Это по... подозрительно. Мы постоянно

слышим об этой Тинклс, но никогда не...

00:07:42,216 --> 00:07:45,628

Всем привет. Я Тинклс, а это мои друзья.

00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:49,477

Видите? Тинклс настоящая. Значит и я тоже.

00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:50,677

Извини, Саммер.

00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,360

Блин, прости, Саммер.

00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,149

В этот раз я поставил не на тот случай.

00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,510

Ладно, смотрите, нам не

нужны доказательства,

00:07:57,522 --> 00:08:00,626

или логика чтобы знать

кто семья, а кто нет.

00:08:00,826 --> 00:08:03,269

Я знаю что такие Смиты.

Я знаю Бэт со школы.

00:08:03,469 --> 00:08:07,215

А её муж, Сонный Гари, конечно

мой самый лучший друг.

00:08:07,415 --> 00:08:11,623

Спасибо, Джерри. Так что не

обижайтесь, но все места заняты.

00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,032

Слушайте, я не привык сомневаться

такое долгое время. Я

00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:16,424

просто начну палить по плечам

начиная со странной девчонки.

00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:17,786

Дедушка Рик!

00:08:17,986 --> 00:08:19,166

Не с места, "Саммер".

00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,421

Рик, это моя дочь.

00:08:21,621 --> 00:08:24,017

А, да? Ну а что если ты просто

так думаешь, Сонный Гарри?

00:08:24,029 --> 00:08:26,146

Я тебя 15 лет знаю, не

заставляй меня тебя ранить.

00:08:26,346 --> 00:08:29,404

Рик, это наша семья и

друзья, люди с которыми

00:08:29,416 --> 00:08:32,286

мы готовили барбекю.

Ты забыл про барбекю?

00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:35,098

Стой, зачем ты хочешь чтобы я...

Ты один из них, не так ли?

00:08:35,298 --> 00:08:39,446

Рик. Ты любишь эти барбекю, Рик.

Ты любишь их.

00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:41,628

Помнишь, Рик?

00:08:41,828 --> 00:08:45,200

Заткнись Хамонрай! Заткнись, Эмиш Киборг!

Это что? Конан из 90х?

00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,552

Вспомни барбекю. Вспомни барбекю.

00:08:51,888 --> 00:08:53,867

Знаешь что, Пенсильвестер?

Мне понадобилась целая

00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:56,030

жизнь чтобы понять это, но

я обожаю готовить барбекю.

00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,430

У тебя хорошо получается, Рик.

00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:01,822

Смотри-ка. Я как Том Круз из, эээ,

"Кузина", или как там этот фильм назывался

00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:05,504

где он готовит напитки. Ага, зацени-ка.

Я как Том Круз из "Кузина".

00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,751

Да. Он так и назывался? "Кузин"?

00:09:08,951 --> 00:09:12,362

Ого! Эй, народ. Давайте

поблагодарим грильмастера Рика!

00:09:12,562 --> 00:09:13,861

Рик! Рик! Рик!

00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,340

Погоди-ка.

00:09:21,721 --> 00:09:23,921

Нееет!

00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:26,742

Чёрт. Смотри. Теперь это как

картинка из "Найди Вальдо".

00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:28,972

Можешь меня найти? Зацени

какие забавные типки.

00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:30,520

Мы вернёмся после этих сообщений.

00:09:32,691 --> 00:09:35,691

Я думаю тебе стоит положить пистолет.

И мы должны отправить тебя к доктору.

00:09:35,796 --> 00:09:37,546

Что скажешь? Уберём эти взрывостойкие щиты?

00:09:37,746 --> 00:09:38,292

Да.

00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:41,439

Я не могу этого сделать, Сонный Гарри.

Ладно, народ слушайте сюда. Не знаю

00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:44,331

есть ли среди вас настоящие, но этот

дом заражён поддельными любимыми...

00:09:44,355 --> 00:09:45,985

...которые распространяются

через поддельные воспоминания

00:09:45,997 --> 00:09:47,497

и наша планета будет уничтожена,

если они выберутся.

00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:52,468

Но, Рик, даже тебе придётся признать что ты

зачастую слишком остро на всё реагируешь.

00:09:53,309 --> 00:09:56,821

Ребят, надо спешить. Я только что из

Уолмарта. У них Нинтендо 3ДС по 149,99 на

00:09:56,833 --> 00:10:00,713

распродаже, плюс когда ты покупаешь его, ты

получаешь подарочную карту на 50 долларов.

00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:03,718

Это значит что итоговая цена с

налогом падает до 110 долларов.

00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,816

Теперь слушайте, мы можем кинуть

этих сучар на 230 баксов как нехер.

00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:10,911

Они все из ограниченного издания "Зельда".

Быстрее! Быстрее! Идём со мной! Мы

00:10:10,923 --> 00:10:14,829

все можем разбогатеть, а ещё мы одну

оставим и сможем играть в игры Нинтендо!

00:10:15,029 --> 00:10:16,549

Нинтендо, пришли мне халявных штук.

00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,728

Ладно, да, я определённо

помню что делал

00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,926

это, но так-же я никогда

бы так не поступил.

00:10:21,126 --> 00:10:22,334

Не реагируй так остро, Рик.

00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,106

Сонный Гарри, можно тебя на пару слов?

00:10:24,306 --> 00:10:25,012

Конечно, Джерри.

00:10:25,212 --> 00:10:27,021

Рик, целься в голову, хорошо.

Потому что я

00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,938

тебе расскажу один секрет

про Франкенштейна.

00:10:29,138 --> 00:10:31,367

Он на самом деле монстр Франкенштейна.

00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:38,322

Сонный Гарри, моя голова

полна воспоминаний о нашей

00:10:38,334 --> 00:10:41,551

дружбе. Я уверен что ты

муж Бэт, а я твой друг...

00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:44,497

...но, если верить этим

воспоминаниям, тогда...

00:10:44,697 --> 00:10:45,697

Просто скажи, Джерри.

00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:48,769

Сонный Гарри, откуда нам

знать что я настоящий?

00:10:48,969 --> 00:10:49,969

Господи, Джерри.

00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:53,889

Нет, ты настоящий. Эй, посмотри на меня.

Так, я не знаю как так

00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:58,108

получилось, но я знаю нас, и ты

настоящий, Джерри. Помнишь наш отпуск?

00:11:02,753 --> 00:11:05,888

Чуть дальше по берегу снимают новый

эпизод Звёздных Войн. Может посмотрим?

00:11:06,088 --> 00:11:07,468

Конечно. Почему бы нет?

00:11:15,139 --> 00:11:17,100

Может мы увидим Чубакку.

00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,439

Я был бы рад.

00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:28,419

Что мы делаем?

00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:40,213

Мне плевать что ещё тут произойдёт.

Мы с тобой это переживём.

00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:43,993

Хорошо. Эй, мы договаривались.

Только не в доме.

00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:49,282

Какие клёвые часы, Рик. Можно взглянуть?

00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:54,559

Э, нет спаси... Ладненько. Хочешь понять

как опустить взрывостойкие щиты, да?

00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:56,621

Кому-нибудь кажется

подозрительным что многие

00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,547

здесь ждут не дождутся

чтобы выбраться отсюда?

00:11:58,747 --> 00:12:01,723

Ты параноишь, Рик. Ты стал

параноить после Вьетнама.

00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,915

И, чем займёшься когда вернёшься

на гражданку, Франкенштейн?

00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:07,819

Бля-я-я-я, я вздрючу...

00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,988

Нет! Вали из моей головы, паразит!

00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:11,572

Нет!

00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,411

Отпусти.

00:12:12,611 --> 00:12:13,811

Отдай мне пушку, Франкенштейн!

00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,152

Отдай!

00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:20,622

Франкенштейн!

00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:24,412

Тут вообще есть кто нибудь настоящий? Я

последний настоящий человек на планете?!

00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:29,871

Может быть. А может быть, просто может

быть, мы все настоящие. Вы меня знаете.

00:12:30,071 --> 00:12:32,798

Я Жираф наоборот, у меня короткие ноги

и шея. Я ходил в колледж с Хамонраем.

00:12:32,822 --> 00:12:35,119

Я спас жизнь привидения

в банке во Вьетнаме.

00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:39,301

И, Бэт, как часто ты

плакалась в мою жилетку?

00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:40,776

Слишком часто.

00:12:40,976 --> 00:12:43,330

Ладно, так может быть мы все ненастоящие.

00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,644

Это полный бред!

00:12:44,844 --> 00:12:48,685

А может быть здесь только один обманщик...

тот кто постоянно говорит

00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:52,606

нам что путь к спасению это сидеть

взаперти и подозревать друг друга.

00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,326

Эй, я тут при чём! Я пытался

пристрелить Саммер 10 минут назад!

00:12:55,512 --> 00:12:57,898

Я знаю у нас всех есть

любимые воспоминания о Рике.

00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,078

Но действительно ли мы

должны поверить в то...

00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:03,113

...что сумасшедший учёный

с летающей машиной просто

00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:05,863

появился на пороге после

стольких лет отсутствия?

00:13:06,063 --> 00:13:09,619

Да, а ты знаешь, у него действительно

много странных, надуманных фразочек.

00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:13,490

Рики - тики - тави! Сучара!

00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:16,350

Вот тааакие новости.

00:13:16,550 --> 00:13:17,844

Отвянь, Ваня.

00:13:18,044 --> 00:13:19,388

О-о. Сальто.

00:13:19,588 --> 00:13:20,628

СПИД!

00:13:20,828 --> 00:13:21,978

Поэтому я всегда говорю...

00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:28,068

От травки тянет не сладко.

00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:30,074

Не ныряй в канализацию.

00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:31,274

Время бургеров!

00:13:31,408 --> 00:13:33,155

Пупсовые пупсилища!

00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,102

Са-са-са-сосите мои яйца!

00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:37,732

Да! Постоянно так говорю.

00:13:37,932 --> 00:13:41,138

Да это вообще нелепая фраза.

00:13:41,338 --> 00:13:43,578

Ага, и не забудьте про его

невероятно невнятную историю.

00:13:43,641 --> 00:13:44,688

Бэт, я твой отец!

00:13:44,888 --> 00:13:46,728

А, правда, пап? Правда?

00:13:46,928 --> 00:13:50,016

Рик, если хочешь доказать что ты настоящий,

просто сделай то что любой из нас

00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:53,128

бы сделал и... и... и открой взрывостойкие

щиты и выпусти нас отсюда наконец!

00:13:53,259 --> 00:13:56,222

Почему ты не вызываешь доверия,

невероятно наивный половозрелый

00:13:56,234 --> 00:13:58,604

мальчик с именем как у

старых еврейских сатириков?

00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:00,948

Утрись!

00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:08,139

Дай мне пистолет. Я не буду делать это на

глазах у Пенсильвестра. Тащите его в гараж.

00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,623

Слушай меня, выродок паразитной суки.

Мы может

00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,611

сделать это по-хорошему,

или по-плохому.

00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,491

Знаешь, т-т-т... ты хочешь жить?

Тогда открой взрывостойкие ворота.

00:14:18,538 --> 00:14:20,765

Заткнись, Морти, гавнюк с

промытыми мозгами, который может

00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,016

быть даже не настоящий, потому

что мои мозги тоже промыты.

00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,464

Знаешь, Рик, нам это не легко. Понимаешь,

м-мы все помним тебя как друга.

00:14:26,664 --> 00:14:29,972

Ой-ой-ой, правда? А я помню ты

был ноющим куском говна, Морти!

00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:30,788

А... а, да?

00:14:30,988 --> 00:14:33,795

Да! У меня около тысячи воспоминаний

о твоей тупой заднице и

00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:36,488

около 6 из них положительные.

Остальное это унылый мусор.

00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:38,953

Почему бы тебе не сделать

нам обоим одолжение и не

00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,554

спустить курок? Давай! Давай, уёбок!

Жми на ебаный курок!

00:14:45,506 --> 00:14:50,133

О, ого. Малыш маг был паразитом?

Он познакомил меня с моей женой.

00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:52,523

Что за хрень?

00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:55,731

Я понял, Рик! Паразиты могут создавать

только положительные воспоминания. Я

00:14:55,743 --> 00:14:58,843

знаю что ты настоящий потому что у меня

есть о тебе куча плохих воспоминаний!

00:14:59,994 --> 00:15:03,998

Наши воспоминания

00:15:06,745 --> 00:15:10,989

Воспоминания которые мы храним

00:15:11,189 --> 00:15:19,189

Мне хотелось бы вернуться в то время

00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:25,369

Срань господня, Морти, ты прав.

00:15:25,569 --> 00:15:28,481

А-а-а разве не это ты хотел мне

дать понять когда кричал на меня?

00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:32,492

Ну, да, агам. Д-долго до тебя доходило.

00:15:35,813 --> 00:15:38,738

Ну погнали, Морти. Нам ещё много друзей

и родственников надо уничтожить.

00:15:42,687 --> 00:15:45,193

Сохраняйте спокойствие!

Это потребует объяснений.

00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:47,814

Нам надо убить всех о ком мы

можем вспомнить только хорошее.

00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:49,979

У кого есть плохие воспоминания

о миссис Холодильник?

00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:54,543

Я-я-я-я... у всех есть плохие

воспоминания обо мне. Помните как-то раз?

00:15:58,988 --> 00:16:02,570

Вот это да, мы не могли перестать кричать.

00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:06,272

Э, американские горки это не

плохо, миссис Холодильник. Они

00:16:06,284 --> 00:16:09,740

захватывающие. А Вы были идеальной

подругой всю мою жизнь.

00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:14,484

Покровы сорваны! Выпустите меня.

Выпустите меня!

00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:18,536

Вот чёрт!

00:16:18,736 --> 00:16:22,262

Все назад! Если ты не паразит, тебе

нечего бояться. Как насчёт Саммер?

00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:24,182

Почему ты постоянно всё переводишь на меня?

00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,858

Больше никогда не заходи в мою комнату.

00:16:29,058 --> 00:16:30,078

Я не заходил!

00:16:30,278 --> 00:16:33,037

Она настоящая. Это моя сука сестра.

00:16:33,237 --> 00:16:34,933

Неплохо.

00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,053

Мам, ты отвезёшь меня...

00:16:40,253 --> 00:16:42,065

Ммм? Ага, ага, да. Погоди немного?

00:16:42,265 --> 00:16:44,097

Боже мой. Ты пьяна?

00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:46,098

А ты чё меня учишь быть женой?

00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:46,614

Чего?

00:16:46,814 --> 00:16:47,500

О, боже.

00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,500

Боже мой, ты в порядке?

00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:50,012

Мама!

00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:50,912

Я не хотела...

00:16:51,112 --> 00:16:52,880

У меня будет синяк! Нас

сегодня фотографируют!

00:16:52,904 --> 00:16:55,939

Да нет... не нагнетай. Я все уберу.

00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:57,499

Я хочу чтобы полиция меня забрала!

00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,352

Морти, дай оружие даме

которая рано мной

00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:02,924

забеременела и постоянно

делает это нашей проблемой.

00:17:03,124 --> 00:17:04,896

Спасибо, дорогая.

00:17:05,096 --> 00:17:06,957

Бэт, Бэт, пожалуйста!

00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:10,237

Я знала что слишком хорошо чтобы быть

правдой то что у нас совместимые почки.

00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:27,196

Да ладно, приятель. Разве

у нас никогда не было

00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,307

неловкого молчания, или

неловкого пердежа в поездке?

00:17:29,377 --> 00:17:31,144

Давай, Пенсильвестер, дай мне что нибудь.

00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:34,908

Рик, я Пенсильвестер. Услышь это имя.

Ты не можешь меня убить.

00:17:35,108 --> 00:17:36,108

Ты прав.

00:17:37,239 --> 00:17:38,624

Убей Пенсильвестра.

00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,348

Саммер, я всегда тебя любила!

00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:52,548

Ага.

00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,152

Боже мой!

00:18:10,352 --> 00:18:12,117

Я-я-я думал ты ушла на концерт!

00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:15,038

Мы забили билеты! Почему на кухне?!

00:18:15,238 --> 00:18:17,115

Я везде это делаю! Хватит стыдить меня!

00:18:17,315 --> 00:18:18,816

Не ты здесь пострадавший!

00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,978

Я тебя ненавижу, и я думал

о твоей подруге Грэйс!

00:18:27,893 --> 00:18:31,350

А. Господин Рик. Помните как

не собирались меня убивать?

00:18:32,789 --> 00:18:36,918

Походу я сделал лакея! Это... это понятно?

00:18:37,118 --> 00:18:40,818

А, я-я понял. Это игра слов

от "Это сделал лакей".

00:18:41,018 --> 00:18:44,914

Спасибо, призрак в банке. Ты всегда

хорошо примечал тонкие шутки.

00:18:50,222 --> 00:18:51,797

Ты должен спрятать меня, Сонный Гарри.

00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:55,164

Не волнуйся, у меня есть план. Если мы

сможем добраться до моей лодки, там...

00:18:57,557 --> 00:19:01,654

Нет, нет! Просто отправь меня к Гарри.

Я хочу быть с Гарри.

00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:04,294

О, Боже.

00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:05,806

Что за фигня?

00:19:06,748 --> 00:19:08,372

Берегись того бездомного!

00:19:08,572 --> 00:19:10,165

Открой дверь! Открой дверь! Открой дверь!

00:19:10,189 --> 00:19:11,782

На это нет времени! Просто беги!

00:19:13,314 --> 00:19:14,478

Выйди и помоги мне!

00:19:14,678 --> 00:19:16,558

Они сказали не стоит этого делать!

Просто беги!

00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:20,125

Эх. Извини, Джерри. Ты настоящий.

00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,276

Я паразит!

00:19:22,476 --> 00:19:23,549

Да, но настоящий.

00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:27,449

Не, не, мне нужно время чтобы

забыть о Сонном Гарри.

00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:29,758

Мне тоже.

00:19:34,113 --> 00:19:36,625

Теперь давайте быть

осторожнее, мойте руки когда

00:19:36,637 --> 00:19:38,954

возвращаетесь из космоса.

Это касается всех.

00:19:39,154 --> 00:19:44,584

Это угнетает. Мы убили всех хороших людей в

доме. Это то что осталось? Что за семья.

00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,551

Ну хотя бы мы настоящие, Джерри. Настоящие.

00:19:48,552 --> 00:19:51,721

Ооой, дааа! Аминь.

Так, эта сраная попка

00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:55,302

голодна. Кто-нибудь

подаст мне кусок свинины?

00:19:59,426 --> 00:20:02,006

Ч-ч-что-то не так, Бэт?

00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:04,412

Боже мой.

00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:05,228

Нет, Бэт!

00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:06,115

Вот бля!

00:20:06,315 --> 00:20:06,970

Стойте, но я...

00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:07,944

Бэт! За что?!

00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:10,616

Мне нужна скорая! Была перестрелка.

Моя жена застрелила...

00:20:10,628 --> 00:20:12,860

Эээ, моя... моя жена застрелила

давнего друга семьи.

00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,060

За что?

00:20:14,158 --> 00:20:16,886

Боже мой, боже мой, боже

мой, мистер Сраная Попка.

00:20:17,086 --> 00:20:18,127

Я-я думала...

00:20:18,327 --> 00:20:19,647

Продолжай дышать. Смотри на меня!

00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:20,755

Боже что происходит?

00:20:20,955 --> 00:20:22,254

Смотри на меня! Не... не засыпай!

00:20:22,278 --> 00:20:25,058

Так... так истекают кровью?

Ой, дааа. Так я и умру?

00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,258

Господи. Боже мой.

00:20:26,411 --> 00:20:27,451

Зачем ты это сделала? Бэт.

00:20:27,534 --> 00:20:30,752

Не должно быть так больно.

Я-я думал... Ой, дааа.

00:21:09,263 --> 00:21:11,368

О, он... он выглядит гораздо лучше.

00:21:11,568 --> 00:21:14,200

Слушай, Бэт, не мучай себя.

Я сделал похожую ошибку

00:21:14,212 --> 00:21:17,110

несколько лет назад, но, знаешь,

в планетарном масштабе.

00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:20,338

Он, эм, он злится на меня?

00:21:20,538 --> 00:21:25,168

Он не выдвинул обвинений. В смысле, так

не злятся люди которых подстрелили.

00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:27,941

К нему можно посетителям?

00:21:28,141 --> 00:21:31,771

Он хотел бы побыть один.

Он сказал передать вам что

00:21:31,783 --> 00:21:35,285

ему жаль что у вас нет

плохих воспоминаний о нём?

00:21:37,124 --> 00:21:39,765

Если вы его любите вам нужно уйти.

00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:46,642

Вот тааакие новости.