Аутоэротическая ассимиляция

00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,756

♪ Connection ♪

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♪ Experience ♪

00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,635

Yeah, Morty.

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♪ Come together ♪

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♪ With love, connection,

and experience ♪

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- It's my favorite song.

- [laughing] Oh, yeah.

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- [Alarm beeps]

- Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

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[Belches]

Yeah, baby!

00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,357

You're excited about that?

00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880

The first rule

of space travel, kids,

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is always check out

distress beacons.

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9 out of 10 times,

it's a ship full of dead aliens

00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614

and a bunch of free shit!

00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,818

- BOTH: Whoa!

- 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,

00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,952

but I'm ready

to roll those dice.

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♪♪

00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,712

Seems like something

terrible happened here.

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Yep. Cha-ching.

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Oh, yeah, if you find

a room full of eggs,

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don't shy away from it.

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Give one of them a shake.

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Those facehuggers

are worth more than this ship.

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- Uh, what's that?

00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198

This'll make the cops

write it up

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as a looting by the Korblocks.

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That's horrible.

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I hear you, man.

Cops are racist.

00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771

Oh, hey. You're alive.

Thank god.

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Can you help us?

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Our planet was taken over

by some kind of... entity.

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It absorbed

the minds of our people.

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We didn't notice

until it was too late.

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The people it takes over,

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they... they look

like your friends,

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your family, your leaders,

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but they're not

themselves anymore.

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They're part of... it.

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Then how do you know it didn't

get on the ship with you?

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Those two dingdongs seem pretty

calm about the whole thing.

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[Both screech]

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Hey, no!

No, wait! Stop!

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[Screaming]

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Called it.

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[Gurgles]

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[Ray gun beeps]

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ALL:

Hello, Rick.

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Long time no see.

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Unity?

00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931

- Rick?

- Grandpa?

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Oh, boy. Uh...

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910

these are my grandkids,

Summer and Morty.

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Summer, Morty,

this is, uh, Unity.

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We sort of used to,

uh... date.

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♪♪

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♪♪

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[Dog panting]

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[Engine hums in distance]

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Quite an operation

you got going here, Une.

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You're a whole planet now, huh?

00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,926

After we broke up,

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I spent some time

wandering through space.

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- Then I found this world...

- ...where I was better able

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to focus on my passion

for unification.

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You mean

stealing people's bodies?

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Summer, rude.

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Why don't you two kids

go run off and play with Unity

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while Unity and I

do some catching up.

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Ugh.

No, wait, Rick,

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aren't these people gonna barf

into our mouths and absorb us?

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You're guests here on my planet.

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You're free to be yourselves.

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I've never been any good

at disappointing Rick.

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Well, now I'm going to barf.

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Come on, Morty.

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Jerry, what are you...

What are you doing in here?

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I'm trying to find

our weed whacker,

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'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

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But you can't go in the garage

when Rick's not here.

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I "can't"?

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- Well, he doesn't like it.

- What's he gonna do?

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Crash rent-free

at his other family's house?

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BETH: What is that

supposed to mean?

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Your dad gets to walk

all over us

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because of

your abandonment issues.

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He's playing you, shorty.

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Oh, stop affecting

that stupid hip-hop dialect.

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Stop shifting the cross hairs

to my ironic urban patois

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just because your relationship

with your father

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is to' up from the flo' up.

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[Screeching]

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What the hell was that?

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I don't know.

Let's just leave.

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[Gurgling]

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That is a hatch.

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Your father put a hatch

in my garage.

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You don't know it was him.

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Anyway, we're not

supposed to be in here.

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Obviously, neither is whatever's

gurgling down there.

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[Screech, gurgle]

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"World peace achieved."

Nice.

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Little weird to publish

a paper about it

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for yourself, but hey.

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So, what's next?

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After I become

a type-one civilization,

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this world will be invited

into the Galactic Federation.

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Oh, goody.

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From there, I'll have access to

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countless planets and species.

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One by one, I will unify them,

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I will become the universe,

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and I will be what

the single-minded

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once called a god.

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[Belches]

I like that.

00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:00,408

Oh, that's pretty sexy.

00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,428

Hey, listen, where can we get

a drink around here?

00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,746

Recreational substances

were phased out here.

00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,915

There's no need

for escape from the self

00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,166

when your world is one.

00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792

Unity, Unity,

who am I talking to?

00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,961

I watched you assimilate

a whole police station

00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,130

just to get your hands on

the evidence locker.

00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,716

Rick, when we met,

I was a young hive mind

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with the population

of a small town.

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- People change...

- [engine turns over]

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Especially when I change them.

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I'm sorry to disappoint you,

00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,016

but I've grown.

00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,018

Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,770

I have!

00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539

See, I've... I've reconnected

with my family, right?

00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,065

Hm.

Why's that, I wonder?

00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858

Maybe it's part of getting old.

00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:37,654

Maybe I just missed

being with a collective.

00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:38,738

[Moaning]

00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,740

ALL:

Yes, Rick. Yes.

00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283

- Oh, yeah.

- Yes. Yes.

00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327

Wait, wait. Stop.

Hold it.

00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,037

Not like this.

00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,038

We need a hang glider

00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432

and a crotchless

Uncle Sam costume,

00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708

and I want the entire field

of your largest stadium

00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,418

covered end to end

with naked redheads,

00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:53,962

and I want the stands packed

00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,422

with every man that remotely

resembles my father.

00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:59,550

[Triumphant music plays]

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,347

Man, look at them go.

So coordinated.

00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849

[Gulps]

What's your problem?

00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,533

They're making you into

a Mount Rushmore.

00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,811

They made burgers!

00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062

Morty, open your eyes.

00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480

There is no "They."

00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,941

These poor people's bodies

are being used.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144

They're a planet of puppets.

00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,819

- I can hear you.

- Ugh.

00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,363

Well, it seems like

everybody here's cool with it.

00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,823

Except for all those redheads.

00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199

They seem like

they're in a hurry

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,367

to be somewhere else.

00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,536

Balloon, Summer?

Balloon, Morty?

00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,538

No, we don't want

your dumb balloons, okay?

00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,248

We're bored.

Take us back to Rick.

00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,083

Now's not a good time.

00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,961

Oh, yeah!

00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880

I want yooooooou!

00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:39,132

ALL: [chanting]

Go, son, go!

00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,385

Go, son, go!

Go, son, go!

00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,014

Oh, real nice.

Real nice.

00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,974

How does a man do this

without me noticing?

00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,100

Oh, you know my dad

00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,411

once he puts his mind

to something.

00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,020

You're spinning this

to his credit?

00:05:52,103 --> 00:05:54,105

[Screeching, gurgling]

00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481

I'm going down there.

00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:57,191

- Jerry...

- Beth, this is my house,

00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,402

which makes this my garage,

my secret hatch,

00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,989

my hidden subterranean lair,

and my faceless gargler.

00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,741

Now, are you gonna keep

hating this playa

00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,492

or are you gonna jack my steez?

00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,494

Okay, you're just

making stuff up now.

00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,455

- [Applause]

- Ugh. Oh, my god.

00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,831

Oh, my god.

00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541

- Ugh!

- [glug! glug! glug!]

00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210

Oh, Rick.

That was so bad.

00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:17,336

What's this "was" stuff?

00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,713

I just need to hydrate,

00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090

- Then we're doing that again.

- [spaceships whir]

00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:22,934

- Oh, damn.

- Listen, if this is an invasion,

00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218

I got to sit this one out,

00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,182

but I'll be back to have sex

with the survivors.

00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972

It's a neighboring

hive-mind species,

00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,098

Beta Seven.

00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:30,975

Our planets maintain

a practical alliance

00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,685

for exchange of vital resources,

00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:34,437

so be nice.

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521

Unity,

00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:38,691

is it a bad time?

00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:42,737

Are all present life forms

assimilated?

00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573

Beta Seven,

this is my single-minded friend

00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,741

from Earth, Rick.

00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826

Rick Sanchez.

00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,578

Unity has spoken of you.

00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371

All bad, I hope.

Ha ha!

00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,664

ALL:

Bleeeeeeeeeh!

00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,041

Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710

Beta Seven, if my allies

are a problem for you,

00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,670

perhaps our alliance is,

as well.

00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,380

Our alliance is beneficial.

00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,424

When Beta Seven

expresses concern,

00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,051

it... it's only

be-because...

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678

RICK: Oh, snap!

Powdered neutronium?

00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:08,763

Amphetetron?

00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598

You know I can make

with this stuff?

00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850

Oh, Rick,

I... I shouldn't.

00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,936

Come on. It's not every day

that I'm town.

00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687

It's...

It's for old time's sake.

00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,065

Uh... okay, what the hell.

00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,943

We can purify the resin

and make fractal dust.

00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,529

Oh, I was thinking

velocitinis, but...

00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,532

Aw, old man Rick can't party

with a whole planet?

00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,367

[Both laugh]

00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,662

I can do whatever

you do and more, baby.

00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,497

[All groaning]

00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707

You know, I think [belches]

Beta Seven over there

00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,001

is hoping your alliance

can be more than practical.

00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,628

[laughing]

Stop.

00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:41,712

[laughter]

00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:48,594

Well, this explains

the $6,000 electric bill.

00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,097

Whoa!

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,598

[Screeches]

00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:56,811

Well, nice. Real nice.

00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604

Alien prisoners under the house.

00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,064

Real nice.

00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,150

Nice.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal...

00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,402

God damn it, stop.

00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446

Wake up, people!

You have to fight it!

00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,949

You're under the spell

of an evil monster!

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785

- I can hear you.

- Yeah, so you keep saying.

00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:13,870

[Grunts]

00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913

- Summer!

- Wake up!

00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,124

You have to have some

individuality left in there!

00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500

Why do you hate me, Summer?

00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,085

I'm not talking to you.

00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:23,588

I'm talking to...

Steven Phillips.

00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,174

Steven, set yourself free.

00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,551

Summer, before I took

over this planet,

00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,137

this man was

a registered sex offender.

00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,890

Yeah? Well, so what?

At least he was himself.

00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,934

This woman was a drug addict

on the verge of suicide.

00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:38,853

Now she's a marine biologist.

00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914

Listen, Unity, I don't think

my sister's trying to say

00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,291

that life would be perfect

without you.

00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,001

I think she's just saying

that life would be,

00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:45,276

you know, life.

00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112

I have transformed life

here into a paradise.

00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,156

Prostitutes are now scientists.

00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408

The homeless

are now "Phisosophers."

00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,160

Oh. Oh.

"Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.

00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,329

- Philopol... Phiphophopher...

- Oh, my god.

00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348

Where did you learn to talk,

you grandpa-stealing slut?

00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374

I'm feeling...

00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,709

[retches]

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377

Ugh.

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671

Oh, man, let me help

all of you guys up.

00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,715

ALL:

I'm fine.

00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,801

[Dance music plays]

00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:14,013

[Sniffs] Do you know

what I love about you, Rick?

00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973

You're the only single mind

I've met

00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:17,600

that really sees

the big picture.

00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,018

You got that right.

00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,603

But, baby, listen...

00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105

Y-you're talking about taking

over planets and galaxies.

00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,565

You got to...

Got to just remember

00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,067

to let go sometimes, you know?

00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,193

I can let go.

Hey, look.

00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636

You see that town

across the river?

00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154

Watch this.

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,490

- Whoa!

- Ha ha! Whoo!

00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,075

Whoa!

That's not what I meant!

00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535

[laughing]

It's okay. It's okay.

00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,497

I evacuated.

I evacuated the town. Look.

00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,333

ALL:

Hey! We're right here. We're fine.

00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,417

[laughs]

00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:50,049

Oh, that was awesome.

[chuckles]

00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,260

My... my grandkids

weren't in that town, right?

00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,220

A-are my grandkids alive?

00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,347

M-my drink is empty.

00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,432

[All retching]

00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,435

[Groans]

00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,522

♪♪

00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,117

- Unity, what's happening?

- Who's Unity?

00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744

You kids have nice feet.

Mind if I take a picture?

00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:21,372

- Gross. No.

[cellphone camera clicks]

00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,666

MORTY: I think you're getting

what you wanted, Summer.

00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,710

Something's happening to Unity.

00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504

Do all of you remember

who you are?

00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048

Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.

00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:34,010

I'm an electrical engineer,

father of two,

00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,680

and, as you can see from my

flat, concentric nipple rings,

00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224

I'm a member of

this planet's top race!

00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,976

[Cheers]

Okay, that's good.

00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,437

Uh, don't focus too much

on the last part, but...

00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,398

I'm Daryl Jefferson.

I'm a landscaper.

00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,025

And I'll be damned if

00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:51,402

that ripple-nipple bitch's

race is superior!

00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,404

The cone-nipple people

will rule this world!

00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,865

You shut your mouth,

you dirty knife-nipple bastards.

00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,991

What'd you say to me,

00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201

you target-chest

piece of shit.

00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,037

Race war!

00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961

Ugh!

00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,172

[Grunting]

00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,715

Why are you fighting?!

00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,009

Can't you see

you're all the same?

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510

Oh, Summer.

[laughs]

00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,012

First race war, huh?

00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,143

[All shouting, screaming]

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228

Way to go, Summer.

You started a race war.

00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:28,898

I didn't start it!

They're the racists.

00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232

I... I merely

empowered them

00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,193

to follow their apparently

misguided dreams.

00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,778

Okay, thanks for clarifying.

00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,738

I'll have a super-accurate

headstone now.

00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090

Hey, wait...

What race are you guys?

00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,199

We're neither. S-see?

00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,909

Yeah, take my word for it.

00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702

We just have regular nipples.

00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:44,121

Hey, these two freaks

have no race!

00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,206

♪♪

00:11:45,623 --> 00:11:48,834

[All shouting indistinctly]

00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837

Oh, there's no place like home.

00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,523

There's no place like home.

Remember, Summer?

00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067

From Dorothy

and the tiny people movie?

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258

Yes, yes.

00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:58,219

- All the tiny people.

- Dorothy, take us away.

00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722

♪♪

00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603

Hello, Summer.

Hello, Morty.

00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,189

- It's okay. You're safe now.

- Unity?

00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,401

- Yes.

- Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,195

I didn't know freedom meant

people doing stuff that sucks.

00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696

I was thinking more of

00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,615

a choose your own

cellphone-carrier thing.

00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,075

Oh, Summer,

you did nothing wrong.

00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,785

I'm having fun

with your grandpa.

00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,078

Lost a little control.

00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330

Probably shouldn't be

piloting a hovercopter,

00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:29,166

nor should I be running

200,000 pediatric hospitals

00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,668

and 12 million deep fryers,

00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071

but hey,

it's not like this planet

00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,546

can take its business elsewhere.

00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,506

Um, should we maybe

stop somewhere

00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,966

and get you a coffee?

00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009

Maybe splash a little water

on your face, or...

00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:40,928

No, no, if I wanted to be sober,

00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721

I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,806

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,810

[Screeches, gurgles]

00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,520

Oh, man.

I cannot wait...

00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648

I cannot wait to hear Rick

explain his way around this.

00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,983

He is gone.

00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,276

Jerry, stop, please, okay?

00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920

We weren't even

supposed to be down here.

00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,184

If we confront him about this...

00:12:58,237 --> 00:12:59,780

Oh, my god!

I love this.

00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,283

I love that this is

how far you will go for him.

00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660

You want to go upstairs

and cut carrots

00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,287

and watch a Lifetime original

00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,873

above a fucking alien dungeon!

00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792

Your relationship with

your father is psychotic.

00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,294

Oh, listen to you

relish the idea

00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,171

that my genius father

is a bad person.

00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,881

Step out of your ego

for a second

00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,841

and look at this thing...

It's a monster.

00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,176

He might have it chained up

00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,760

so that it doesn't

eat the planet!

00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,013

Right, because your father's

such an altruist?

00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683

I once saw him briefly

forget the word for "Humans."

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,894

He's probably harvesting

this creature's organs.

00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,896

He's probably racing

to cure its space AIDS.

00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,248

- He's going to eat it!

- He's protecting it!

00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,106

[Shrills]

00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,649

BOTH:

Shut up!

00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069

[Humming]

Whoa!

00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988

Unity, this place is a mess.

00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,198

Oh, it's cool.

00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,300

The part of me

that's the cleaning lady

00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,658

is coming on Friday.

00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:46,327

[Gasps]

Oh, my god. I have a meeting

00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245

at the Galactic Federation

in an hour.

00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:49,330

Oh, I'll never make it.

00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956

Ah, I'll push it to next week.

00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,000

Unity, could you get Rick

out here, please?

00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,627

He's unavailable.

He's...

00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,337

having sex with you.

We get it. Gross.

00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671

Get him out here now.

00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:58,857

I don't think he wants to be...

00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,050

- Grandpa Rick!

- Rick! Rick!

00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843

I'm gonna tell mom and dad

about the gagoo

00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,321

you have locked up

under the garage!

00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,889

[Belches]

What the hell is your problem?

00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,933

Grandpa,

we need to go home, now.

00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809

Fine. Sheesh.

00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,144

[Glass shatters]

00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,354

[Beeps]

00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,897

See you.

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690

Uh, Rick,

I think we should all go.

00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,044

Tend to your garden, kids.

I'm kind of doing a thing here.

00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:21,153

[laughs]

Whoo!

00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:23,072

Grandpa Rick,

we're not leaving without you.

00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,074

Oh, my god, you guys.

I get it.

00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,243

You're afraid

the big, bad hive mind

00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,370

is gonna steal

your grandpa away.

00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,955

Actually, no.

I think Unity's great

00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706

and you're

a horrible influence on it.

00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,375

- What?

- This isn't healthy, Rick.

00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002

You know, you're...

You're really up to no good

00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,088

around here a-at

this place, you know?

00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,339

You and Unity are like...

00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,091

Like leggings

and mid-calf boots.

00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759

You think you're great together,

00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136

but you're just bringing out

the worst in each other.

00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,764

Oh, gee.

Boy, Summer. Well put.

00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,641

Uh, why don't we see

what Unity thinks?

00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725

Unity?

00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:53,769

I'm just taking

a little break from stuff.

00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,813

You know?

I need to relax.

00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,940

Oh, hey, w-what's this

on the news, guys?

00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149

L-I-let me turn it up.

00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,651

In the news today,

00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319

this looks

a lot worse than it is.

00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,029

We're really just

having a good time.

00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,447

Karen?

Thanks, Todd.

00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,366

Up next, are you

a concerned grandchild

00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034

or just a buzzkill?

00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:10,953

We'll tell you

how you can know for sure.

00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,955

I think you two

are a little outnumbered.

00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,124

Okay, well, what if

you did it for me?

00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,376

What if you came with us

as a favor to us

00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086

because you love us?

00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,838

What? Dumb. Bye.

00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,256

But Rick, Summer's just...

00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150

Summer's just a hyper-emotional,

needy little...

00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485

What's the word

I'm looking for here?

00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510

Uh... human.

00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095

It runs in the family.

00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,263

I can tolerate it,

00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,574

but I can't

give a crap about it.

00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,099

Take a hike.

00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102

Take care of yourself, Unity.

00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,441

I'm not looking for judgment,

just a yes or no...

00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,401

Can you assimilate a giraffe?

00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,277

You're the worst!

00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113

No, you're the worst!

You don't support this family!

00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,573

All you care about is yourself!

00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925

You think supporting the family

is about supporting you emotionally...

00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,552

you've got two children

being dragged across the cosmos

00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,970

...because it's never

enough, Jerry!

00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,179

...by your dangerously

ill father!

00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472

And you force me to

watch it happen...

00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,999

...because you'd rather

lose them and lose me...

00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518

...it's like to be afraid

of losing anything...

00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,603

- than lose him!

- Because you cling...

00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,645

And why? Because

you're the child, Beth!

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547

- You, not me! You!

- [screeches]

00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,174

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,759

- Oh, my god.

- Aah!

00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,260

[Both sigh]

00:16:10,346 --> 00:16:12,139

[Both gasp]

00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,350

Um, first of all, hello.

00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,518

Uh, my name is

Blim Blam the Korblok.

00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,395

Second of all,

cards on the table,

00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,189

I'm a murderer that eats babies,

00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,775

and I came to this planet

to eat babies.

00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,613

However, I am also carrying

a highly infectious disease

00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991

that I suppose you could call

"Space AIDS" as you put it.

00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,201

And Rick did chain me up

00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,203

so that he could

attempt to cure it.

00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,330

At the same time,

00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,332

Rick's motivation

to cure my disease

00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,501

was not to save my life

or anyone else's,

00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,754

but to patent and sell the cure

for billions of blemflarcks.

00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297

But you know the reason why

00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,341

I ripped my chains

out of the wall?

00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,219

And do you know why I'm never

coming back to this planet?

00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181

Because the two of you

are the fucking worst!

00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850

You both hate yourselves

and each other.

00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,186

And the idea that it has

anything to do with Rick

00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,813

is laughable.

00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,065

I'd laugh,

but I'm biologically incapable.

00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858

That's how alien I am.

00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,319

And even I'm sitting here

listening to the two of you

00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,239

and being like, "What the fuck"!

00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449

So good luck

with your shitty marriage,

00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,577

and tell Rick I'm sorry he has

to deal with either of you.

00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,038

Blim Blam out.

00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,209

[Gurgles]

00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,379

You know what?

I'm taking this.

00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,552

How do you...

What is this?

00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015

Uh, is there a slow setting?

00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,018

Best door ever.

00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:47,025

RICK:

[belches, sighs, coughs]

00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:50,529

Okay, okay. Now make them cry,

but happy crying.

00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,823

Now make them all

make fun of the blonde one.

00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342

Now make them all

do it on the table.

00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,535

I can't believe you created

a whole show for me.

00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162

Now cancel it.

00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,288

Okay, now put it back on.

00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,414

[laughs]

00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957

All right, I'm bored.

00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,459

Rick, is there a way for you

00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,085

to call Summer and Morty?

00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,504

- I feel bad that they...

- Pbht. Screw those guys.

00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,007

Ugh.

I'll be right back.

00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,134

Don't waste your brain

on those weirdos, Unity.

00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236

They're no different

from any of the aimless

00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,553

chumps that you occupy.

00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,114

They just put you at

the center of their lives

00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,306

because you're powerful.

00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,891

And then because

they put you there,

00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294

they want you

to be less powerful.

00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,411

Never gonna happen

though, right?

00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,519

ALL:

Never.

00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,605

Never.

Back in a flash.

00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,190

[Door whooshes]

00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,275

[Toilet flushes]

00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,612

Best weekend ever, Rick.

00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,032

I agree, Rick.

Let's see how long we can go.

00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951

Hey, Une.

You got any more...

00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956

FEMALE UNITY:

Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.

00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,543

I'm not strong enough

to do it in persons.

00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,313

DELIVERY GUY:

I realize now that I'm attracted to you

00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,589

for the same reason

I can't be with you.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257

You can't change.

00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:54,551

BEGGAR: And I have

no problem with that,

00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:57,471

but it clearly means

I have a problem with myself.

00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914

NEWSPAPER VENDOR: I'm sure there's no

perfect version of me.

00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726

I'm sure I'lljust unify

species after species

00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,561

and never really be complete.

00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,565

FEMALE PRESIDENT:

But I know how it goes with us.

00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,525

I lose who I am

and become part of you.

00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,943

Because in a strange way,

00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,612

you're better at what I do

without even trying.

00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,659

Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329

P. S., I don't know where

those coal miners were

00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,572

before they were assimilated.

00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,165

You might want to get checked.

00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,267

- Man: [belches]

[laughter]

00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,293

[Door opens, closes]

00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,378

Hey.

00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,672

Dad.

00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,510

[Clears throat]

I, um... Jerry and I

00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179

were looking for

our weed whacker

00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,723

and found your subterranean lair

00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:44,309

and your alien prisoner,

00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,270

and he got away.

00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729

And I know I sound like mom,

00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,624

but I can't sacrifice

this whole family's safety

00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,483

just because I'm afraid

you'll leave again,

00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,402

so no more alien prisoners

00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196

and no more

subterranean excavation

00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,698

without consulting us.

00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783

- Okay.

- Okay?

00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:03,036

"Okay"... like you're gonna

quietly teleport somewhere

00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,414

and never come back?

- No. It's your house.

00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625

Grandpa Rick,

what happened with Unity?

00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,336

Who? Oh, Unity.

Yeah, well...

00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,231

I mean, honestly,

we're talking about an entity

00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,607

that thrives on

enslavement, you know?

00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,717

It's not cool. Fun's fun,

but who needs it?

00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218

I'll be in the garage.

00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,721

[Chaos Chaos's

"Do you feel it?" plays]

00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400

♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪

00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,319

♪ Let me see your hand ♪

00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821

♪ Show me what you got ♪

00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,324

♪ You're always talking ♪

00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075

♪ But you're not playing ♪

00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,703

♪ It doesn't

match your face ♪

00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249

♪ Get them away,

away from this place ♪

00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,502

♪ Can you take me now? ♪

00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,421

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,006

♪ I want it real ♪

00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425

♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,011

♪♪

[machine whirring]

00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,764

♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:10,854

♪ Do you feel

that I can see your soul? ♪

00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:12,189

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,777

♪ Do you feel the pain

in your heart? ♪

00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,197

♪ I want it real ♪

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,741

♪ Run away with me now ♪

00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537

♪ I want it real ♪

00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,539

♪ Run away with me now ♪

00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:32,000

♪ Ah, ah ♪

00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,380

♪♪

00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556

♪ Don't leave me ♪

00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269

♪ Never leave me out ♪

00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,563

♪ Don't leave me ♪

00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:59,277

♪ Never leave me out ♪

00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,827

RICK:

Unity! Unity!

00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286

Unity!

00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163

How can I assist you?

00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,457

I want to talk to [belches]

Unity, Beta Seven.

00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,625

I know it's in there.

00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:15,252

You're classified

as a hostile entity,

00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,962

and Unity

doesn't want to talk to you.

00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,963

I know your game, Beta Seven.

00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214

I've met a billion of you,

00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508

you little on-deck,

in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!

00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,678

You are classified

as a hostile entity.

00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,239

Oh, you're just loving this, mother...

00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:28,265

This isn't gonna

shake out like you think, pal.

00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,659

Unity's not into other

hive minds.

00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,184

It's gonna suck you in

and use you up,

00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,477

and a month from now,

00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,621

I'm gonna be making out

with all of you

00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521

in a bunch of red wigs!

00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606

Unity! Unity!

00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317

Unity, I know you can hear me.

Get out here.

00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,670

BETA SEVEN:

Weapons systems engaged.

00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,404

Oh, in your dreams

you have weapon systems.

00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,823

Ugh, Rick, you said

we were going to a movie.

00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,824

We are, Morty.

00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,576

All right, Beta shit Seven,

00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619

you just got

saved by the bell, bitch!

00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:50,704

[Screaming]

00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:52,622

MAN:

Did you get any of that?

00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,082

MAN:

It's-a good show-a.

00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,756

♪ Connection ♪

00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,841

♪ Experience ♪

00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,635

Yeah, Morty.

00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,970

♪ Come together ♪

00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:14,099

♪ With love, connection,

and experience ♪

00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,351

- It's my favorite song.

- Oh, yeah.

00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,646

Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,897

Yeah, baby!

00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,357

You're excited about that?

00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880

The first rule

of space travel, kids,

00:00:23,942 --> 00:00:25,694

is always check out

distress beacons.

00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,779

9 out of 10 times,

it's a ship full of dead aliens

00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614

and a bunch of free shit!

00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,818

- Whoa!

- 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,

00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,952

but I'm ready

to roll those dice.

00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,038

♪♪

00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,712

Seems like something

terrible happened here.

00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,046

Yep. Cha-ching.

00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,382

Oh, yeah, if you find

a room full of eggs,

00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,675

don't shy away from it.

00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,135

Give one of them a shake.

00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,987

Those facehuggers

are worth more than this ship.

00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,096

- Uh, what's that?

00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198

This'll make the cops

write it up

00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,515

as a looting by the Korblocks.

00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,598

That's horrible.

00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,810

I hear you, man.

Cops are racist.

00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771

Oh, hey. You're alive.

Thank god.

00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,398

Can you help us?

00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,109

Our planet was taken over

by some kind of... entity.

00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,944

It absorbed

the minds of our people.

00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,779

We didn't notice

until it was too late.

00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:10,989

The people it takes over,

00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,490

they... they look

like your friends,

00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:13,742

your family, your leaders,

00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:16,703

but they're not

themselves anymore.

00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:19,080

They're part of... it.

00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:21,416

Then how do you know it didn't

get on the ship with you?

00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,769

Those two dingdongs seem pretty

calm about the whole thing.

00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,046

Hey, no!

No, wait! Stop!

00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:29,882

Called it.

00:01:32,177 --> 00:01:33,595

Hello, Rick.

00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,888

Long time no see.

00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:35,847

Unity?

00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931

- Rick?

- Grandpa?

00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,433

Oh, boy. Uh...

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910

these are my grandkids,

Summer and Morty.

00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,145

Summer, Morty,

this is, uh, Unity.

00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:45,273

We sort of used to,

uh... date.

00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359

♪♪

00:01:50,737 --> 00:01:51,738

♪♪

00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,101

Quite an operation

you got going here, Une.

00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,633

You're a whole planet now, huh?

00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,926

After we broke up,

00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,844

I spent some time

wandering through space.

00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:17,222

- Then I found this world...

- ...where I was better able

00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,891

to focus on my passion

for unification.

00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,476

You mean

stealing people's bodies?

00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,894

Summer, rude.

00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,039

Why don't you two kids

go run off and play with Unity

00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:26,815

while Unity and I

do some catching up.

00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,399

Ugh.

No, wait, Rick,

00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,795

aren't these people gonna barf

into our mouths and absorb us?

00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,153

You're guests here on my planet.

00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:33,655

You're free to be yourselves.

00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,865

I've never been any good

at disappointing Rick.

00:02:35,949 --> 00:02:37,158

Well, now I'm going to barf.

00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:38,910

Come on, Morty.

00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,934

Jerry, what are you...

What are you doing in here?

00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,752

I'm trying to find

our weed whacker,

00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,380

'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,316

But you can't go in the garage

when Rick's not here.

00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,675

I "can't"?

00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,402

- Well, he doesn't like it.

- What's he gonna do?

00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,971

Crash rent-free

at his other family's house?

00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,114

What is that

supposed to mean?

00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,890

Your dad gets to walk

all over us

00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:03,101

because of

your abandonment issues.

00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,853

He's playing you, shorty.

00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,813

Oh, stop affecting

that stupid hip-hop dialect.

00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,858

Stop shifting the cross hairs

to my ironic urban patois

00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,818

just because your relationship

with your father

00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,695

is to' up from the flo' up.

00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,156

What the hell was that?

00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,300

I don't know.

Let's just leave.

00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370

That is a hatch.

00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,706

Your father put a hatch

in my garage.

00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,124

You don't know it was him.

00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,959

Anyway, we're not

supposed to be in here.

00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,212

Obviously, neither is whatever's

gurgling down there.

00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,385

"World peace achieved."

Nice.

00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,137

Little weird to publish

a paper about it

00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,096

for yourself, but hey.

00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,347

So, what's next?

00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,349

After I become

a type-one civilization,

00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:47,061

this world will be invited

into the Galactic Federation.

00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,146

Oh, goody.

00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,248

From there, I'll have access to

00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,065

countless planets and species.

00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,984

One by one, I will unify them,

00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,277

I will become the universe,

00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,279

and I will be what

the single-minded

00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,362

once called a god.

00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,823

I like that.

00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:00,408

Oh, that's pretty sexy.

00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,428

Hey, listen, where can we get

a drink around here?

00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,746

Recreational substances

were phased out here.

00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,915

There's no need

for escape from the self

00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,166

when your world is one.

00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792

Unity, Unity,

who am I talking to?

00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,961

I watched you assimilate

a whole police station

00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,130

just to get your hands on

the evidence locker.

00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,716

Rick, when we met,

I was a young hive mind

00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,594

with the population

of a small town.

00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,821

People change...

00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,045

Especially when I change them.

00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,348

I'm sorry to disappoint you,

00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,016

but I've grown.

00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,018

Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,770

I have!

00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539

See, I've... I've reconnected

with my family, right?

00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,065

Hm.

Why's that, I wonder?

00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858

Maybe it's part of getting old.

00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:37,654

Maybe I just missed

being with a collective.

00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,740

Yes, Rick. Yes.

00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283

- Oh, yeah.

- Yes. Yes.

00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327

Wait, wait. Stop.

Hold it.

00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,037

Not like this.

00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,038

We need a hang glider

00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432

and a crotchless

Uncle Sam costume,

00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708

and I want the entire field

of your largest stadium

00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,418

covered end to end

with naked redheads,

00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:53,962

and I want the stands packed

00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,422

with every man that remotely

resembles my father.

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,347

Man, look at them go.

So coordinated.

00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849

What's your problem?

00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,533

They're making you into

a Mount Rushmore.

00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,811

They made burgers!

00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062

Morty, open your eyes.

00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480

There is no "They."

00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,941

These poor people's bodies

are being used.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144

They're a planet of puppets.

00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,819

- I can hear you.

- Ugh.

00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,363

Well, it seems like

everybody here's cool with it.

00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,823

Except for all those redheads.

00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199

They seem like

they're in a hurry

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,367

to be somewhere else.

00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,536

Balloon, Summer?

Balloon, Morty?

00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,538

No, we don't want

your dumb balloons, okay?

00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,248

We're bored.

Take us back to Rick.

00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,083

Now's not a good time.

00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,961

Oh, yeah!

00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880

I want yooooooou!

00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:39,132

Go, son, go!

00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,385

Go, son, go!

Go, son, go!

00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,014

Oh, real nice.

Real nice.

00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,974

How does a man do this

without me noticing?

00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,100

Oh, you know my dad

00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,411

once he puts his mind

to something.

00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,020

You're spinning this

to his credit?

00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481

I'm going down there.

00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:57,191

- Jerry...

- Beth, this is my house,

00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,402

which makes this my garage,

my secret hatch,

00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,989

my hidden subterranean lair,

and my faceless gargler.

00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,741

Now, are you gonna keep

hating this playa

00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,492

or are you gonna jack my steez?

00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,494

Okay, you're just

making stuff up now.

00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,455

Ugh. Oh, my god.

00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,831

Oh, my god.

00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541

Ugh!

00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210

Oh, Rick.

That was so bad.

00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:17,336

What's this "was" stuff?

00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,713

I just need to hydrate,

00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090

Then we're doing that again.

00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:22,934

- Oh, damn.

- Listen, if this is an invasion,

00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218

I got to sit this one out,

00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,182

but I'll be back to have sex

with the survivors.

00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972

It's a neighboring

hive-mind species,

00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,098

Beta Seven.

00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:30,975

Our planets maintain

a practical alliance

00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,685

for exchange of vital resources,

00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:34,437

so be nice.

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521

Unity,

00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:38,691

is it a bad time?

00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:42,737

Are all present life forms

assimilated?

00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573

Beta Seven,

this is my single-minded friend

00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,741

from Earth, Rick.

00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826

Rick Sanchez.

00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,578

Unity has spoken of you.

00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371

All bad, I hope.

Ha ha!

00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,664

Bleeeeeeeeeh!

00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,041

Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710

Beta Seven, if my allies

are a problem for you,

00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,670

perhaps our alliance is,

as well.

00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,380

Our alliance is beneficial.

00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,424

When Beta Seven

expresses concern,

00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,051

it... it's only

be-because...

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678

Oh, snap!

Powdered neutronium?

00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:08,763

Amphetetron?

00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598

You know I can make

with this stuff?

00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850

Oh, Rick,

I... I shouldn't.

00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,936

Come on. It's not every day

that I'm town.

00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687

It's...

It's for old time's sake.

00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,065

Uh... okay, what the hell.

00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,943

We can purify the resin

and make fractal dust.

00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,529

Oh, I was thinking

velocitinis, but...

00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,532

Aw, old man Rick can't party

with a whole planet?

00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,662

I can do whatever

you do and more, baby.

00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707

You know, I think

Beta Seven over there

00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,001

is hoping your alliance

can be more than practical.

00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,628

Stop.

00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:48,594

Well, this explains

the $6,000 electric bill.

00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,097

Whoa!

00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:56,811

Well, nice. Real nice.

00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604

Alien prisoners under the house.

00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,064

Real nice.

00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,150

Nice.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal...

00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,402

God damn it, stop.

00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446

Wake up, people!

You have to fight it!

00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,949

You're under the spell

of an evil monster!

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785

- I can hear you.

- Yeah, so you keep saying.

00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913

- Summer!

- Wake up!

00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,124

You have to have some

individuality left in there!

00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500

Why do you hate me, Summer?

00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,085

I'm not talking to you.

00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:23,588

I'm talking to...

Steven Phillips.

00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,174

Steven, set yourself free.

00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,551

Summer, before I took

over this planet,

00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,137

this man was

a registered sex offender.

00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,890

Yeah? Well, so what?

At least he was himself.

00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,934

This woman was a drug addict

on the verge of suicide.

00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:38,853

Now she's a marine biologist.

00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914

Listen, Unity, I don't think

my sister's trying to say

00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,291

that life would be perfect

without you.

00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,001

I think she's just saying

that life would be,

00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:45,276

you know, life.

00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112

I have transformed life

here into a paradise.

00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,156

Prostitutes are now scientists.

00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408

The homeless

are now "Phisosophers."

00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,160

Oh. Oh.

"Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.

00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,329

- Philopol... Phiphophopher...

- Oh, my god.

00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348

Where did you learn to talk,

you grandpa-stealing slut?

00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374

I'm feeling...

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377

Ugh.

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671

Oh, man, let me help

all of you guys up.

00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,715

I'm fine.

00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:14,013

Do you know

what I love about you, Rick?

00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973

You're the only single mind

I've met

00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:17,600

that really sees

the big picture.

00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,018

You got that right.

00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,603

But, baby, listen...

00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105

Y-you're talking about taking

over planets and galaxies.

00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,565

You got to...

Got to just remember

00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,067

to let go sometimes, you know?

00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,193

I can let go.

Hey, look.

00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636

You see that town

across the river?

00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154

Watch this.

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,490

- Whoa!

- Ha ha! Whoo!

00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,075

Whoa!

That's not what I meant!

00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535

It's okay. It's okay.

00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,497

I evacuated.

I evacuated the town. Look.

00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,333

Hey! We're right here. We're fine.

00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:50,049

Oh, that was awesome.

00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,260

My... my grandkids

weren't in that town, right?

00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,220

A-are my grandkids alive?

00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,347

M-my drink is empty.

00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,522

♪♪

00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,117

- Unity, what's happening?

- Who's Unity?

00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744

You kids have nice feet.

Mind if I take a picture?

00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:21,372

- Gross. No.

00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,666

I think you're getting

what you wanted, Summer.

00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,710

Something's happening to Unity.

00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504

Do all of you remember

who you are?

00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048

Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.

00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:34,010

I'm an electrical engineer,

father of two,

00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,680

and, as you can see from my

flat, concentric nipple rings,

00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224

I'm a member of

this planet's top race!

00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,976

Okay, that's good.

00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,437

Uh, don't focus too much

on the last part, but...

00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,398

I'm Daryl Jefferson.

I'm a landscaper.

00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,025

And I'll be damned if

00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:51,402

that ripple-nipple bitch's

race is superior!

00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,404

The cone-nipple people

will rule this world!

00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,865

You shut your mouth,

you dirty knife-nipple bastards.

00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,991

What'd you say to me,

00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201

you target-chest

piece of shit.

00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,037

Race war!

00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961

Ugh!

00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,715

Why are you fighting?!

00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,009

Can't you see

you're all the same?

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510

Oh, Summer.

00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,012

First race war, huh?

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228

Way to go, Summer.

You started a race war.

00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:28,898

I didn't start it!

They're the racists.

00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232

I... I merely

empowered them

00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,193

to follow their apparently

misguided dreams.

00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,778

Okay, thanks for clarifying.

00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,738

I'll have a super-accurate

headstone now.

00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090

Hey, wait...

What race are you guys?

00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,199

We're neither. S-see?

00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,909

Yeah, take my word for it.

00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702

We just have regular nipples.

00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:44,121

Hey, these two freaks

have no race!

00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,206

♪♪

00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837

Oh, there's no place like home.

00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,523

There's no place like home.

Remember, Summer?

00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067

From Dorothy

and the tiny people movie?

00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258

Yes, yes.

00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:58,219

- All the tiny people.

- Dorothy, take us away.

00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722

♪♪

00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603

Hello, Summer.

Hello, Morty.

00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,189

- It's okay. You're safe now.

- Unity?

00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,401

- Yes.

- Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,195

I didn't know freedom meant

people doing stuff that sucks.

00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696

I was thinking more of

00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,615

a choose your own

cellphone-carrier thing.

00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,075

Oh, Summer,

you did nothing wrong.

00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,785

I'm having fun

with your grandpa.

00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,078

Lost a little control.

00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330

Probably shouldn't be

piloting a hovercopter,

00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:29,166

nor should I be running

200,000 pediatric hospitals

00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,668

and 12 million deep fryers,

00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071

but hey,

it's not like this planet

00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,546

can take its business elsewhere.

00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,506

Um, should we maybe

stop somewhere

00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,966

and get you a coffee?

00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009

Maybe splash a little water

on your face, or...

00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:40,928

No, no, if I wanted to be sober,

00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721

I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,806

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,520

Oh, man.

I cannot wait...

00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648

I cannot wait to hear Rick

explain his way around this.

00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,983

He is gone.

00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,276

Jerry, stop, please, okay?

00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920

We weren't even

supposed to be down here.

00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,184

If we confront him about this...

00:12:58,237 --> 00:12:59,780

Oh, my god!

I love this.

00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,283

I love that this is

how far you will go for him.

00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660

You want to go upstairs

and cut carrots

00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,287

and watch a Lifetime original

00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,873

above a fucking alien dungeon!

00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792

Your relationship with

your father is psychotic.

00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,294

Oh, listen to you

relish the idea

00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,171

that my genius father

is a bad person.

00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,881

Step out of your ego

for a second

00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,841

and look at this thing...

It's a monster.

00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,176

He might have it chained up

00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,760

so that it doesn't

eat the planet!

00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,013

Right, because your father's

such an altruist?

00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683

I once saw him briefly

forget the word for "Humans."

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,894

He's probably harvesting

this creature's organs.

00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,896

He's probably racing

to cure its space AIDS.

00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,248

- He's going to eat it!

- He's protecting it!

00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,649

Shut up!

00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069

Whoa!

00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988

Unity, this place is a mess.

00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,198

Oh, it's cool.

00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,300

The part of me

that's the cleaning lady

00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,658

is coming on Friday.

00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:46,327

Oh, my god. I have a meeting

00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245

at the Galactic Federation

in an hour.

00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:49,330

Oh, I'll never make it.

00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956

Ah, I'll push it to next week.

00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,000

Unity, could you get Rick

out here, please?

00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,627

He's unavailable.

He's...

00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,337

having sex with you.

We get it. Gross.

00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671

Get him out here now.

00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:58,857

I don't think he wants to be...

00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,050

- Grandpa Rick!

- Rick! Rick!

00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843

I'm gonna tell mom and dad

about the gagoo

00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,321

you have locked up

under the garage!

00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,889

What the hell is your problem?

00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,933

Grandpa,

we need to go home, now.

00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809

Fine. Sheesh.

00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,897

See you.

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690

Uh, Rick,

I think we should all go.

00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,044

Tend to your garden, kids.

I'm kind of doing a thing here.

00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:21,153

Whoo!

00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:23,072

Grandpa Rick,

we're not leaving without you.

00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,074

Oh, my god, you guys.

I get it.

00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,243

You're afraid

the big, bad hive mind

00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,370

is gonna steal

your grandpa away.

00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,955

Actually, no.

I think Unity's great

00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706

and you're

a horrible influence on it.

00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,375

- What?

- This isn't healthy, Rick.

00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002

You know, you're...

You're really up to no good

00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,088

around here a-at

this place, you know?

00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,339

You and Unity are like...

00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,091

Like leggings

and mid-calf boots.

00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759

You think you're great together,

00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136

but you're just bringing out

the worst in each other.

00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,764

Oh, gee.

Boy, Summer. Well put.

00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,641

Uh, why don't we see

what Unity thinks?

00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725

Unity?

00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:53,769

I'm just taking

a little break from stuff.

00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,813

You know?

I need to relax.

00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,940

Oh, hey, w-what's this

on the news, guys?

00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149

L-I-let me turn it up.

00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,651

In the news today,

00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319

this looks

a lot worse than it is.

00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,029

We're really just

having a good time.

00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,447

Karen?

Thanks, Todd.

00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,366

Up next, are you

a concerned grandchild

00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034

or just a buzzkill?

00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:10,953

We'll tell you

how you can know for sure.

00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,955

I think you two

are a little outnumbered.

00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,124

Okay, well, what if

you did it for me?

00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,376

What if you came with us

as a favor to us

00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086

because you love us?

00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,838

What? Dumb. Bye.

00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,256

But Rick, Summer's just...

00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150

Summer's just a hyper-emotional,

needy little...

00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485

What's the word

I'm looking for here?

00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510

Uh... human.

00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095

It runs in the family.

00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,263

I can tolerate it,

00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,574

but I can't

give a crap about it.

00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,099

Take a hike.

00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102

Take care of yourself, Unity.

00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,441

I'm not looking for judgment,

just a yes or no...

00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,401

Can you assimilate a giraffe?

00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,277

You're the worst!

00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113

No, you're the worst!

You don't support this family!

00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,573

All you care about is yourself!

00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925

You think supporting the family

is about supporting you emotionally...

00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,552

you've got two children

being dragged across the cosmos

00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,970

...because it's never

enough, Jerry!

00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,179

...by your dangerously

ill father!

00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472

And you force me to

watch it happen...

00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,999

...because you'd rather

lose them and lose me...

00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518

...it's like to be afraid

of losing anything...

00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,603

- than lose him!

- Because you cling...

00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,645

And why? Because

you're the child, Beth!

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547

You, not me! You!

00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,174

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,759

- Oh, my god.

- Aah!

00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,350

Um, first of all, hello.

00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,518

Uh, my name is

Blim Blam the Korblok.

00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,395

Second of all,

cards on the table,

00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,189

I'm a murderer that eats babies,

00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,775

and I came to this planet

to eat babies.

00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,613

However, I am also carrying

a highly infectious disease

00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991

that I suppose you could call

"Space AIDS" as you put it.

00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,201

And Rick did chain me up

00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,203

so that he could

attempt to cure it.

00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,330

At the same time,

00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,332

Rick's motivation

to cure my disease

00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,501

was not to save my life

or anyone else's,

00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,754

but to patent and sell the cure

for billions of blemflarcks.

00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297

But you know the reason why

00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,341

I ripped my chains

out of the wall?

00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,219

And do you know why I'm never

coming back to this planet?

00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181

Because the two of you

are the fucking worst!

00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850

You both hate yourselves

and each other.

00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,186

And the idea that it has

anything to do with Rick

00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,813

is laughable.

00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,065

I'd laugh,

but I'm biologically incapable.

00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858

That's how alien I am.

00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,319

And even I'm sitting here

listening to the two of you

00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,239

and being like, "What the fuck"!

00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449

So good luck

with your shitty marriage,

00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,577

and tell Rick I'm sorry he has

to deal with either of you.

00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,038

Blim Blam out.

00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,379

You know what?

I'm taking this.

00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,552

How do you...

What is this?

00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015

Uh, is there a slow setting?

00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,018

Best door ever.

00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:50,529

Okay, okay. Now make them cry,

but happy crying.

00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,823

Now make them all

make fun of the blonde one.

00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342

Now make them all

do it on the table.

00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,535

I can't believe you created

a whole show for me.

00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162

Now cancel it.

00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,288

Okay, now put it back on.

00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957

All right, I'm bored.

00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,459

Rick, is there a way for you

00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,085

to call Summer and Morty?

00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,504

- I feel bad that they...

- Pbht. Screw those guys.

00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,007

Ugh.

I'll be right back.

00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,134

Don't waste your brain

on those weirdos, Unity.

00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236

They're no different

from any of the aimless

00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,553

chumps that you occupy.

00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,114

They just put you at

the center of their lives

00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,306

because you're powerful.

00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,891

And then because

they put you there,

00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294

they want you

to be less powerful.

00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,411

Never gonna happen

though, right?

00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,519

Never.

00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,605

Never.

Back in a flash.

00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,612

Best weekend ever, Rick.

00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,032

I agree, Rick.

Let's see how long we can go.

00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951

Hey, Une.

You got any more...

00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956

Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.

00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,543

I'm not strong enough

to do it in persons.

00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,313

I realize now that I'm attracted to you

00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,589

for the same reason

I can't be with you.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257

You can't change.

00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:54,551

And I have

no problem with that,

00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:57,471

but it clearly means

I have a problem with myself.

00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914

I'm sure there's no

perfect version of me.

00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726

I'm sure I'lljust unify

species after species

00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,561

and never really be complete.

00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,565

But I know how it goes with us.

00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,525

I lose who I am

and become part of you.

00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,943

Because in a strange way,

00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,612

you're better at what I do

without even trying.

00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,659

Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329

P. S., I don't know where

those coal miners were

00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,572

before they were assimilated.

00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,165

You might want to get checked.

00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,267

Man:

00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,378

Hey.

00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,672

Dad.

00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,510

I, um... Jerry and I

00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179

were looking for

our weed whacker

00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,723

and found your subterranean lair

00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:44,309

and your alien prisoner,

00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,270

and he got away.

00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729

And I know I sound like mom,

00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,624

but I can't sacrifice

this whole family's safety

00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,483

just because I'm afraid

you'll leave again,

00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,402

so no more alien prisoners

00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196

and no more

subterranean excavation

00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,698

without consulting us.

00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783

- Okay.

- Okay?

00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:03,036

"Okay"... like you're gonna

quietly teleport somewhere

00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,414

and never come back?

- No. It's your house.

00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625

Grandpa Rick,

what happened with Unity?

00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,336

Who? Oh, Unity.

Yeah, well...

00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,231

I mean, honestly,

we're talking about an entity

00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,607

that thrives on

enslavement, you know?

00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,717

It's not cool. Fun's fun,

but who needs it?

00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218

I'll be in the garage.

00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400

♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪

00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,319

♪ Let me see your hand ♪

00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821

♪ Show me what you got ♪

00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,324

♪ You're always talking ♪

00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075

♪ But you're not playing ♪

00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,703

♪ It doesn't

match your face ♪

00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249

♪ Get them away,

away from this place ♪

00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,502

♪ Can you take me now? ♪

00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,421

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,006

♪ I want it real ♪

00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425

♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,011

♪♪

00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,764

♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:10,854

♪ Do you feel

that I can see your soul? ♪

00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:12,189

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,777

♪ Do you feel the pain

in your heart? ♪

00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,197

♪ I want it real ♪

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,741

♪ Run away with me now ♪

00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868

♪ I, I want it ♪

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537

♪ I want it real ♪

00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,539

♪ Run away with me now ♪

00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:32,000

♪ Ah, ah ♪

00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,380

♪♪

00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556

♪ Don't leave me ♪

00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269

♪ Never leave me out ♪

00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,563

♪ Don't leave me ♪

00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:59,277

♪ Never leave me out ♪

00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,827

Unity! Unity!

00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286

Unity!

00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163

How can I assist you?

00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,457

I want to talk to

Unity, Beta Seven.

00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,625

I know it's in there.

00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:15,252

You're classified

as a hostile entity,

00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,962

and Unity

doesn't want to talk to you.

00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,963

I know your game, Beta Seven.

00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214

I've met a billion of you,

00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508

you little on-deck,

in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!

00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,678

You are classified

as a hostile entity.

00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,239

Oh, you're just loving this, mother...

00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:28,265

This isn't gonna

shake out like you think, pal.

00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,659

Unity's not into other

hive minds.

00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,184

It's gonna suck you in

and use you up,

00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,477

and a month from now,

00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,621

I'm gonna be making out

with all of you

00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521

in a bunch of red wigs!

00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606

Unity! Unity!

00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317

Unity, I know you can hear me.

Get out here.

00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,670

Weapons systems engaged.

00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,404

Oh, in your dreams

you have weapon systems.

00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,823

Ugh, Rick, you said

we were going to a movie.

00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,824

We are, Morty.

00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,576

All right, Beta shit Seven,

00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619

you just got

saved by the bell, bitch!

00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:52,622

Did you get any of that?

00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,082

It's-a good show-a.

00:00:07,487 --> 00:00:08,487

Да, Морти.

00:00:09,124 --> 00:00:14,720

Объединяйтесь, любовью,

взаимностью и чувствами!

00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,563

Это моя любимая песня.

00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:16,763

О, да.

00:00:17,496 --> 00:00:19,573

Ооо, дааа, аварийный маяк!

00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:20,962

Даа, детка!

00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:22,283

Ты так этому рад?

00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:25,803

Первое правило космических путешествий,

ребят - всегда проверяйте аварийные маячки.

00:00:25,888 --> 00:00:29,088

В 9-ти из 10-ти раз это полный корабль

дохлых пришельцев и кучей халявной херни!

00:00:30,761 --> 00:00:33,641

1 из 10 раз это смертельная

ловушка, но я готов рискнуть.

00:00:41,796 --> 00:00:43,956

Похоже здесь произошло нечто ужасное.

00:00:44,156 --> 00:00:45,808

Ага. Опаньки.

00:00:46,008 --> 00:00:50,019

Ах, да. Если наткнётесь на полную комнату

яиц, не пугайтесь. Потрясите одно из них.

00:00:50,219 --> 00:00:51,991

Эти лицехваты стоят больше чем корабль.

00:00:52,191 --> 00:00:53,191

Эмм, а это зачем?

00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,616

Так копы подумают что

корабль обнесли Корблоки.

00:00:55,816 --> 00:00:56,816

Это ужасно.

00:00:56,912 --> 00:00:58,395

Да я понимаю. Копы - расисты.

00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:01,702

О, привет. Вы живы. Слава богу.

00:01:01,902 --> 00:01:06,318

Вы можете нам помочь? Наша планета

была захвачена каким-то... существом.

00:01:06,518 --> 00:01:08,231

Оно поглотило сознание нашего народа.

00:01:08,431 --> 00:01:09,544

Мы не замечали этого до тех пор

пока не стало слишком поздно.

00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:12,973

Люди, которых оно забрало, они

выглядят как твои друзья, твои

00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:16,347

родственники, твои начальники,

но они уже не являются собой.

00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:19,427

Они часть... него.

00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,715

А как вы поняли что оно не

попало на корабль с вами?

00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,827

Тем двум болванам похоже

вообще вся история по боку.

00:01:25,631 --> 00:01:27,844

Эй, нет! Нет, стой! Перестань!

00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:30,238

Я ж сказал.

00:01:32,619 --> 00:01:33,881

Привет, Рик.

00:01:34,081 --> 00:01:35,172

Давненько не виделись.

00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:36,372

Юнити?

00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,223

Рик?

Дедушка?

00:01:37,423 --> 00:01:38,226

О, блин. Эээ...

00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:42,155

Это мои внучата, Саммер и Морти.

Саммер, Морти,

00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:45,831

это, эээ, Юнити. Мы, вроде как...

встречались.

00:01:46,031 --> 00:01:50,121

Перевод: RAD

00:02:08,538 --> 00:02:11,869

Ну и заварушка у тебя тут, Юн.

Ты теперь целая планета, да?

00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:15,429

После того как мы расстались, я

некоторое время скиталась по космосу.

00:02:15,629 --> 00:02:17,645

Затем я нашёл этот мир...

где мне было легче

00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:20,001

сконцентрироваться на своём

увлечении объединением.

00:02:20,201 --> 00:02:21,630

В смысле краже тел людей?

00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,750

Саммер, грубишь. Почему бы

вам обоим, ребят, не пойти

00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:27,586

и поиграть с Юнити пока я

с Юнити немного поболтаю.

00:02:27,786 --> 00:02:30,816

Нет, стой, Рик, а эти люди не наблюют

нам в рот и не поглотят нас?

00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:33,751

Вы гости на моей планете. Вы

можете быть самими собой.

00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:36,260

У меня всегда плохо

получалось разочаровать Рика.

00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,577

Так, теперь меня тянет блевать.

Идём, Морти.

00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:45,105

Джерри, ты что.. ты чего тут делаешь?

00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:50,235

Пытаюсь найти нашу газонокосилку, потому

что нашу траву пора бы закосить, йо.

00:02:50,435 --> 00:02:52,788

Но тебе нельзя заходить в гараж без Рика.

00:02:52,988 --> 00:02:53,760

Мне "нельзя"?

00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,776

Это ему не нравится.

00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:58,066

И что он сделает? Завалится жить на

халяву в дом к своей другой семье?

00:02:58,266 --> 00:02:59,266

О чём это ты?

00:02:59,342 --> 00:03:02,285

Твой отец плевать на нас хотел,

всё из-за твоего синдрома

00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:05,150

брошенного ребёнка. Он вертит

тобой как хочет, малышка.

00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,190

Да хватит уже сыпать этими

хип-хоп фразочками.

00:03:07,297 --> 00:03:10,505

Хватит гнать на мой ироничный

местный говор из-за

00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:13,737

того что твои отношения с

отцом полнейший отстой.

00:03:16,198 --> 00:03:17,257

Это что за хрень?

00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:18,718

Я не знаю. Давай просто уйдём.

00:03:21,892 --> 00:03:24,840

Это из люка. Твой отец

сделал люк в моём гараже.

00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,285

Ты не знаешь это сделал он. В любом

случае, мы не должны быть тут.

00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:31,365

Очевидно как и то что там рычит.

00:03:35,588 --> 00:03:38,920

Достигнуто всемирное перемирие. Неплохо.

Немного странно выпускать

00:03:38,932 --> 00:03:41,876

об этом газету для самого себя, ну ладно.

Так, что дальше?

00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:44,671

После того как я стану

цивилизацией первого типа,

00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,395

этот мир будет приглашён в

Галактическую Федерацию.

00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,301

А, нормуль.

00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:51,421

Оттуда я получу доступ к бесчисленному

множеству планет и видов.

00:03:51,621 --> 00:03:54,846

Один за одним я их объединю,

я стану вселенной,

00:03:54,858 --> 00:03:57,757

и тем что односознательные

называют Богом.

00:03:57,957 --> 00:04:02,225

Мне нравится. Это довольно сексуально.

Эй, слушай, а где мы тут можем выпить?

00:04:02,425 --> 00:04:05,759

Производство развлекательных

веществ здесь прекращено.

00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:08,327

Нет нужды забываться

когда твой мир един.

00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:11,517

Юнити, Юнити, с кем я говорю? Я

видел как ты поглотило целый

00:04:11,529 --> 00:04:14,432

полицейский участок только чтобы

добраться до склада улик.

00:04:14,632 --> 00:04:17,604

Рик, когда мы познакомились,

я было юным коллективным

00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:20,821

разумом, с населением в небольшой город.

Люди меняются...

00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:25,535

Особенно когда я их меняю. Не хочу

тебя расстраивать, но я повзрослело.

00:04:25,735 --> 00:04:28,005

Эй, слушай, я тоже повзрослел.

Серьёзно!

00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,521

Видишь, я воссоединился

со своей семьёй, да?

00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:32,402

Хм. И с чего бы это?

00:04:32,602 --> 00:04:37,696

Может быть это часть старения. Может

быть я просто соскучился по компании.

00:04:39,715 --> 00:04:41,116

Да, Рик. Да.

00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:43,445

О, да. Да. Да.

00:04:43,645 --> 00:04:47,733

Погоди, погоди. Стой. Погоди-ка. Не так. Нам нужен дельтаплан и костюм

Дяди Сэма без промежности и мне нужно целое поле твоего самого большого

00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:51,645

стадиона по грани заполненное голыми рыженькими, а все трибуны чтобы

были забиты людьми которые хотя бы отдалённо похожи на моего отца.

00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:05,029

Блин, смотри как они работают.

Так согласованно.

00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:09,881

Что с тобой? Они делают из тебя

гору Рашмор. Они наделали бургеров!

00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:13,067

Морти, разуй глаза. Нет

никакого "они". Тела

00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,343

этих бедных людей используют.

Это планета кукол.

00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:17,833

Я тебя слышу.

00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:20,291

Ну, похоже никто тут не против этого.

00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:24,312

Кроме всех этих рыжих.

Похоже они куда-то спешат.

00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:26,607

Шарик, Саммер? Шарик, Морти?

00:05:26,807 --> 00:05:28,678

Нет, нам не нужны твои

тупые шарики, понятно?

00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:30,327

Нам надоело. Отведи

нас обратно к Рику.

00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:32,132

Сейчас не подходящее время.

00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,805

О, даааа!

00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:37,683

Я хочу тебяяя!

00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:42,241

Давай, сынок, давай!

Давай, сынок, давай!

Давай, сынок, давай!

00:05:43,491 --> 00:05:48,185

О, неплохо. Очень неплохо. И как

такое сделать чтобы я не заметил?

00:05:48,385 --> 00:05:50,666

Ну ты знаешь моего папу, если

ему что-то пришло в голову.

00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:52,343

Ты спускаешь ему это со счетов?

00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:55,515

Я иду туда.

00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:56,052

Джерри...

00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:59,813

Бэт, это мой дом, а значит и

мой гараж, мой секретный люк,

00:05:59,825 --> 00:06:03,095

моя спрятанная подземная

пещера и мой безликий рычун.

00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:06,484

Так ты и дальше будешь агриться на

этого чела, или подмажешь мне катки?

00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:07,935

Ладно, ты уже начал выдумывать.

00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:10,821

Боже мой. О, боже мой.

00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:16,215

О, Рик, это было так мощно.

00:06:16,415 --> 00:06:19,992

Почему это "было"? Мне надо

попить и потом повторим.

00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:21,995

О, чёрт.

00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:24,521

Слушай, если это вторжение, мне

надо его где-то переждать,

00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,435

но я вернусь чтобы заняться

сексом с выжившими.

00:06:26,589 --> 00:06:28,889

Это соседний вид коллективного

разума, Бэта 7.

00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,947

Наши планеты заключили

взаимовыгодный союз для обмена

00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,935

жизненно важными ресурсами,

так что будь поприветливее.

00:06:35,135 --> 00:06:42,344

Юнити, я не вовремя? Все

местные формы жизни поглощены?

00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:46,332

Бэта 7, это мой односознательный

друг с Земли - Рик.

00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:50,615

Рик Санчез. Юнити говорила о тебе.

00:06:50,815 --> 00:06:51,868

Только плохое, надеюсь.

00:06:53,661 --> 00:06:54,832

Господи боже.

00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:59,940

Бэта 7, если мои связи проблема для тебя,

вероятно всё так-же и с нашим союзом.

00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:04,704

Наш союз выгоден. Если Бэта 7 и выражает

беспокойство, это только потому что

00:07:04,904 --> 00:07:10,399

Ё-моё! Нейтрониевый порошок? Амфитетрон?

Вы знаете что я могу с этим сделать?

00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:12,499

О, Рик, мне мне не стоит.

00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:16,468

Да ладно. Я ж не каждый день здесь.

В память о прошлых временах.

00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:18,931

Ну ладно, какого чёрта.

00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:21,809

Мы можем очистить смолу и

сделать фрактальную пыль.

00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,777

А, я думал о скоростини, но

00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:27,125

Старенький Рик не может

потусить с целой планетой?

00:07:30,365 --> 00:07:32,390

Я могу всё что можешь ты

и даже больше, детка.

00:07:34,394 --> 00:07:36,490

Знаешь, мне кажется что

этот Бэта 7 надеется что

00:07:36,502 --> 00:07:38,566

ваш союз мог бы быть более

чем просто выгодным.

00:07:39,713 --> 00:07:40,713

Прекрати.

00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:48,431

Что ж это объясняет счёт в 6000

долларов за электричество.

00:07:54,085 --> 00:07:56,659

Что ж, неплохо. Очень неплохо.

00:07:56,859 --> 00:08:02,998

Инопланетные заключённые под нашим домом.

Очень неплохо. Неплохо. Оооооооооооооо...

00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:03,957

Твою мать, прекрати.

00:08:04,157 --> 00:08:10,024

Очнитесь, люди! Вы должны сопротивляться!

Вы под заклятием злобного монстра!

00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:10,839

Я тебя слышу.

00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,569

Ага, ты всё время это говоришь.

00:08:13,979 --> 00:08:14,687

Саммер!

00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:17,517

Очнись! Там должно было остаться

хоть немного индивидуальности!

00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,700

Почему ты ненавидишь меня, Саммер?

00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:26,740

Я не с тобой говорю. Я говорю со...

Стивеном Филипсом. Стивен, освободись.

00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:31,055

Саммер, до того как я захватило эту

планету, этот человек числился насильником.

00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:34,539

Да? Ну и что? Он хотя бы был собой.

00:08:34,739 --> 00:08:39,038

Эта женщина была наркоманкой склонной

к самоубийству. Теперь она океанолог.

00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:42,765

Послушай, Юнити, я не думаю что моя сестра

пытается сказать что жизнь была бы безупречна

00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:45,878

без тебя. Мне кажется она хочет сказать

что жизнь была бы, ну как-бы, жизнью.

00:08:45,949 --> 00:08:49,352

Я превратило здешнюю жизнь в рай.

Проститутки

00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:52,630

теперь учёные. Бездомные

теперь "фисософы".

00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,857

"Фисософы"? Неплохо.

00:08:55,057 --> 00:08:56,090

Филопол... фифофофер...

00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,304

Боже мой. Ты где училось

говорить, ворующая дедов шлюха?

00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:00,504

Что-то мне...

00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:06,172

О, блин, сейчас я вам, ребят помогу.

00:09:06,372 --> 00:09:07,372

Я в порядке.

00:09:12,693 --> 00:09:15,756

Знаешь что мне в тебе нравится, Рик?

Ты единственный односознательный

00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:18,360

из тех что я встречала который

по настоящему всё понимает.

00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,542

Ну всё верно. Но, малышка, слушай. Ты

говоришь о захватах планет и галактик.

00:09:22,554 --> 00:09:26,289

Тебе надо просто... просто не забывать

расслабляться иногда, понимаешь?

00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:29,908

Я могу расслабиться. Эй, слушай.

Видишь тот город за рекой? Смотри.

00:09:33,516 --> 00:09:34,649

Я не это имел в виду!

00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:40,368

Да всё в порядке, всё в порядке. Я

эвакуировало. Эвакуировало город. Смотри.

00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,884

Эй! Мы тут. Мы в порядке.

00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:49,699

Это было офигенно.

00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:56,253

Мои внуки не были в этом городе да? Мои

внуки живы? У меня бухло закончилось.

00:10:13,866 --> 00:10:15,222

Юнити, что происходит?

00:10:15,422 --> 00:10:19,102

Кто такая Юнити? У вас, ребят, прекрасные

ножки, не против если я сфотографирую?

00:10:19,302 --> 00:10:20,302

Фууу. Нет.

00:10:22,635 --> 00:10:25,327

Мне кажется ты добилась своего, Саммер.

Что-то происходит с Юнити.

00:10:26,603 --> 00:10:28,851

Вы все помните кто вы такие?

00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:32,991

Да, ох, моё имя Рон Бэнсон. Я электрик, у

меня два ребёнка и как вы уже поняли по

00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:37,051

моим плоским концентрическим кольцам на

сосках, я член верховной расы этой планеты!

00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:45,398

Что-ж, отлично. Не обращайте много

внимания на последнюю часть, но...

00:10:45,598 --> 00:10:48,379

Я Дэрил Джефферсон. Я

ландшафтный дизайнер. И будь я

00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:51,132

проклят если эта трёхсосковая

сучья раса верховная.

00:10:51,332 --> 00:10:53,693

Конусососковый народ будет

править этим миром!

00:10:53,893 --> 00:10:55,972

Заткните рот, ножесосковые выродки.

00:10:56,172 --> 00:10:59,073

Ты чё сказал, целегрудый кусок говна?

00:10:59,273 --> 00:11:00,872

Расовая война!

00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:14,940

Почему вы дерётесь?! Разве вы не

видите что вы все одинаковые?

00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,792

О, Саммер. Первая расовая война да?

00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:26,288

Молодец, Саммер. Ты начала расовую войну.

00:11:26,488 --> 00:11:29,311

Я ничего не начинала! Они расисты.

Я только позволила

00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:32,210

им следовать за своими

по-видимому ошибочными мечтами.

00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:35,689

Понятно, спасибо за объяснение. Теперь у

меня будет очень подробное надгробие.

00:11:35,889 --> 00:11:37,436

Эй, стойте, а вы из какой расы, ребята?

00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:38,782

Не из какой, видите?

00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:41,732

Да, поверьте мне на слово. У

нас просто обычные соски.

00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:43,809

Эй, у этих двух уродов нет расы!

00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:52,800

Нет места лучше дома. Нет

места лучше дома. Помнишь,

00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,314

Саммер? Как в фильме про

Дороти и маленьких человечков?

00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:56,130

Да, да.

00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:56,748

Этих маленьких человечков.

00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:58,188

Дороти, забери нас. Забери нас.

00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:07,407

Привет, Саммер. Привет, Морти.

00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:09,207

Всё в порядке. Теперь вы в безопасности.

00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,329

Юнити?

00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:10,922

Да.

00:12:11,122 --> 00:12:15,260

Юнити, мне так жаль. Я не думала что

свободные люди занимаются такой

00:12:15,272 --> 00:12:19,122

фигнёй. Я думала больше о свободном

выборе сотового провайдера.

00:12:19,681 --> 00:12:22,959

Саммер, ты ничего плохого не сделала.

Я веселюсь с твоим дедом.

00:12:22,971 --> 00:12:26,159

Немного забылось. Наверное не

стоит мне управлять вертолётом,

00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:30,107

а так-же управлять 200000 педиатрических

клиник и 12 миллионами фритюрниц. Но,

00:12:30,119 --> 00:12:33,688

эй, не похоже что эта планета может

переложить свои заботы на кого-то ещё.

00:12:33,888 --> 00:12:36,569

Эм, может быть нам стоит

где-нибудь остановиться и взять

00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,179

тебе кофе? Может побрызгать

водой тебе на лицо, или...

00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:42,401

Не, не, если бы я хотело быть

трезвым, я бы не напивалось.

00:12:48,319 --> 00:12:51,452

О, боже. Я не могу

дождаться, не могу дождаться

00:12:51,464 --> 00:12:53,889

как Рик всё это объяснит.

Он уходит.

00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:56,012

Джерри стой, пожалуйста.

Ладно, нас тут даже не

00:12:56,024 --> 00:12:58,000

должно быть. Что если мы

расспросим его об этом?

00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,207

Боже мой! Я в восторге от этого. Я в восторге от того

насколько далеко ты готова ради него зайти. Хочешь

00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:06,200

пойти наверх, порезать моркови и посмотреть документальный

фильм над ёбанным подземельем с пришельцами!

00:13:08,999 --> 00:13:11,662

Твои отношения с отцом это диагноз.

00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:15,510

Смотри как ты наслаждаешься вероятностью

того что мой гениальный отец плохой

00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:18,944

человек. Вылезь из своего эго на

секунду и посмотри на это, это монстр.

00:13:19,144 --> 00:13:21,576

Может он его заковал чтобы

он не сожрал планету!

00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:25,685

Верно, потому что твой отец такой

альтруист? Я как-то видел как он не мог

00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:29,670

вспомнить слово "люди". Он скорее всего

вырезает из этого существа органы.

00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:32,099

Он вероятно пытается излечить

его космический СПИД.

00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:32,827

Он его съест!

00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:34,088

Он его защищает!

00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:35,580

Заткнись!

Заткнись!

00:13:39,424 --> 00:13:41,082

Юнити, что тут за бардак?

00:13:41,282 --> 00:13:45,036

А, да ладно. Та часть меня, которая

уборщица приходит по пятницам.

00:13:45,048 --> 00:13:48,532

Боже мой. У меня встреча в

Галактической Федерации через час.

00:13:48,732 --> 00:13:51,013

Мне ни за что не успеть. А,

перенесу на следующую неделю.

00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:52,985

Юнити, ты не могло бы привести сюда Рика?

00:13:53,185 --> 00:13:54,500

Он недоступен. Он..

00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,572

Занимается с тобой сексом. Мы поняли.

Фуу. Тащи его сюда сейчас же.

00:13:57,772 --> 00:13:58,812

Я не думаю что он хочет...

00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,811

Дедушка Рик!

Рик! Рик!

00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:04,405

Я расскажу маме с папой о Гагу,

которого ты запер под гаражом!

00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:06,937

Чё с тобой за херня такая?

00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,057

Дедушка, нам надо отправляться

домой, сейчас же.

00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,787

Ладно. Хосподи.

00:14:13,798 --> 00:14:14,522

Увидимся.

00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:16,507

Эээ, Рик, мне кажется нам всем надо идти.

00:14:16,707 --> 00:14:19,067

Возвращайтесь в свой садик, детки.

Я тут, вроде как, занят.

00:14:21,071 --> 00:14:22,963

Дедушка Рик, мы не уйдём без тебя.

00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,022

Боже мой, вы ребят. Я понял.

Вы боитесь что большой,

00:14:26,034 --> 00:14:28,688

плохой коллективный разум

украдёт у вас дедушку.

00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:32,634

Вообще то нет. Я считаю Юнити молодец,

а ты пагубно на него влияешь.

00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:33,425

Что?

00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:38,894

Это вредно, Рик. Знаешь, ты совсем

не на пользу тут, понимаешь?

00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:42,846

Ты и Юнити как леггинсы с кожаными

сапогами. Тебе кажется что вам

00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:46,336

хорошо вместе, но вы только

раскрываете худшее друг в друге.

00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,967

О боже. Блин, Саммер.

Хорошо задвинула. Э, а

00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:51,640

почему бы нам не узнать

что Юнити думает? Юнити?

00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,066

Я чутка передохну. Понимаешь?

Мне надо расслабиться.

00:14:56,266 --> 00:14:59,699

О, эй, а что это по новостям, ребят?

Дайте-ка включу звук.

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,331

И в сегодняшнем выпуске, всё

выглядит хуже чем на самом

00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:04,699

деле. Мы действительно отлично

проводим время. Карен?

00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:07,614

Спасибо, Тод. И далее, вы

обеспокоенный внук или

00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:10,632

просто зануда? Мы расскажем

вам как узнать наверняка.

00:15:10,832 --> 00:15:12,800

Похоже вы двое немного в меньшинстве.

00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,827

Ладно, тогда, а что если ты

сделаешь это для меня? Что

00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:18,833

если ты пойдёшь с нами ради

нас потому что ты любишь нас?

00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:20,784

Что? Тупо. Пока.

00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:22,266

Но, Рик, Саммер просто...

00:15:22,466 --> 00:15:24,710

Саммер просто слишком

эмоциональный, капризный

00:15:24,722 --> 00:15:26,834

маленький, как там это слово?

А... человек.

00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:31,406

Это семейное, я могу это терпеть, но это

не значит что это важно для меня. Гуляйте.

00:15:32,810 --> 00:15:34,439

Береги себя, Юнити.

00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:42,540

Я не хочу упрёков, просто скажи да,

или нет. Ты можешь поглотить жирафа?

00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:43,394

Ты ужасен!

00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:47,537

Нет это ты ужасна! Ты не поддерживаешь

эту семью! Ты думаешь только о себе!

00:15:47,737 --> 00:15:49,863

Ты думаешь что поддерживать семью значит

эмоционально поддерживать тебя...

00:15:49,887 --> 00:15:50,591

У тебя двоих детей...

00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,185

Но как тебя поддержать...

...утащил в космос...

00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:53,973

Этого никогда не достаточно Джерри!

Твой полоумный папаша!

00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:55,513

И никогда не будет достаточно!

А ты хочешь чтобы я просто

00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:57,052

смотрел на это, потому то ты

лучше потеряешь их и меня...

00:15:57,076 --> 00:15:58,979

А ты даже не знаешь что значит бояться

потерять что-либо... чем его!

00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,654

...потому что ты

придираешься и придираешься.

00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,039

И почему? Потому что

ты ребёнок, Бэт!

00:16:02,063 --> 00:16:03,144

Ты, а не я! Ты!

00:16:05,621 --> 00:16:06,621

Боже мой!

00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:16,445

Эм, во-первых, здравствуйте.Э,

меня зовут Блим Блам Корблок.

00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:19,846

Во-вторых, если быть честным,

я убийца, который ест

00:16:19,858 --> 00:16:22,948

детей и я прибыл на эту

планету чтобы есть детей.

00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:26,629

Однако, я так-же носитель крайне

заразной болезни, которую, я

00:16:26,641 --> 00:16:30,810

предполагаю, можно было бы назвать

"космический СПИД", как вы выразились.

00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:34,305

И Рик действительно заковал меня

чтобы попробовать вылечить её.

00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:38,426

Но в то-же время, мотивацией Рика вылечить

мою болезнь было не спасение моей жизни, или

00:16:38,438 --> 00:16:42,505

чьей-либо ещё, а в том чтобы запатентовать

лекарство и продавать за миллиарды блемфларков.

00:16:43,221 --> 00:16:46,667

А знаете почему я вырвал

свои оковы из стены? А

00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:50,353

знаете почему я никогда не

вернусь на эту планету?

00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:56,630

Потому что вы двое охуенно ужасны!

Вы оба ненавидите себя и друг друга.

00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,710

А мысль о том что к этому как-то

причастен Рик, смехотворна.

00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:04,687

Я бы посмеялся, но мой вид на это

не способен. Вот насколько я

00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:08,910

пришелец. И даже я сидя тут и слушая

вас двоих думал "Что за нахуй?".

00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:13,917

Так что удачи в вашем дерьмовом

браке, и передайте Рику что

00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:17,600

мне жаль что он имеет дела с кем

либо из вас. Блим Блам, всё.

00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,142

И знаете что? Я это забираю.

00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,285

А как... что это?

00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:40,608

А скорость можно поменять?

Просто великолепная дверь.

00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,482

Ладно, ладно. Теперь сделай так чтобы

они плакали, но плакали от радости.

00:17:51,506 --> 00:17:53,586

Теперь сделай так чтобы они

смеялись над блондинкой.

00:17:53,651 --> 00:17:55,579

Теперь сделай так чтобы

делали это на столе.

00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:57,880

Не могу поверить что ты

создала целое шоу для

00:17:57,892 --> 00:18:00,189

меня. Теперь закрой его.

Ладно, теперь верни его.

00:18:01,544 --> 00:18:02,573

Ладно, мне надоело.

00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:07,244

Рик, может позвонишь Саммер и Морти?

Я волнуюсь что они...

00:18:07,444 --> 00:18:11,432

Пффф, нахер их. Я скоро вернусь.

Не трать нервы на этих чудиков,

00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:15,444

Юнити. Они не лучше любого бесцельного

болвана что ты захватило.

00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:18,947

Они молятся на тебя просто потому что ты

могущественно. И из-за того что они это

00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:22,378

делают, они хотят чтобы ты стало менее

могущественным. Этого никогда не будет, верно?

00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:23,514

Никогда.

00:18:23,714 --> 00:18:25,524

Никогда. Вернусь через мгновение.

00:18:31,014 --> 00:18:33,370

Лучшие выходные, Рик. Я

согласен, Рик. Давай

00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:35,381

посмотрим как далеко

мы сможем зайти.

00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,858

Эй, Юн. А у тебя осталось...

00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:44,098

Рик, извини что говорю

об этом в записках. Я

00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:46,121

не настолько сильно чтобы

сделать это лично.

00:18:46,321 --> 00:18:49,622

Теперь я поняло что привязалось

к тебе по той-же причине

00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:53,005

по которой не могу быть с тобой.

Ты не можешь измениться.

00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:58,072

Как по мне это не проблема, но это

ясно даёт понять что проблема со мной.

00:18:58,272 --> 00:19:01,605

Я уверено что нет идеальной версии меня.

Я уверено что просто

00:19:01,617 --> 00:19:04,962

буду объединять вид за видом но

никогда не стану полноценным.

00:19:05,162 --> 00:19:09,274

Но я понимаю что происходит в нашем случае.

Я теряю себя и становлюсь частью тебя.

00:19:09,286 --> 00:19:13,162

Потому что каким-то образом ты лучше

делаешь то что я делаю, даже не пытаясь.

00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:18,972

Твоё и ничьё больше, Юнити.

00:19:20,998 --> 00:19:23,219

П.С. Не знаю где были

те шахтёры до того как

00:19:23,231 --> 00:19:25,662

были поглощены. Возможно

тебе стоит провериться.

00:19:28,442 --> 00:19:29,442

Привет.

00:19:30,566 --> 00:19:31,566

Пап.

00:19:33,864 --> 00:19:38,055

Я, эм, Джерри и я искали

газонокосилку и нашли твоё подземное

00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:41,864

хранилище и твоего иноземного

заключённого и он сбежал.

00:19:46,388 --> 00:19:48,756

Знаю, я говорю как мама, но не

могу рисковать безопасностью

00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:50,989

этой семьи только потому что

боюсь опять тебя потерять.

00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:54,230

Так что больше никаких

иноземных заключённых и

00:19:54,242 --> 00:19:57,656

никаких подземных раскопок

без согласования с нами.

00:19:57,856 --> 00:19:58,500

Ладно.

00:19:58,700 --> 00:19:59,472

Ладно?

00:19:59,672 --> 00:20:01,754

"Ладно" в смысле ты в

тихаря телепортируешься

00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,223

куда-то и никогда не вернёшься?

00:20:03,423 --> 00:20:04,620

Нет, это ваш дом.

00:20:05,569 --> 00:20:08,334

Дедушка Рик, что случилось с Юнити?

00:20:08,534 --> 00:20:12,522

С кем? А, Юнити. Да, ну... Ну, если честно,

мы поговорили о единстве которое держится

00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:16,534

на порабощении, вот. Это не круто. Весело

то весело, но кому это надо? Буду в гараже.

00:20:18,079 --> 00:20:25,534

[Chaos Chaos - Do you feel it?]

00:22:04,229 --> 00:22:06,373

Юнити! Юнити!

00:22:06,573 --> 00:22:07,573

Юнити!

00:22:08,497 --> 00:22:09,694

Могу я Вам помочь?

00:22:09,894 --> 00:22:12,910

Я хочу поговорить с Юнити, Бэта 7.

Я знаю оно там.

00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:16,564

Вы обозначены как враждебная сущность

и Юнити не хочет с Вами говорить.

00:22:16,764 --> 00:22:18,872

Я знаю что ты задумал, Бэта 7.

Я миллиард таких

00:22:18,884 --> 00:22:21,092

встречал, ты мелкая жилетка

для нытья с крыльями!

00:22:21,292 --> 00:22:24,252

Вы обозначены как враждебная сущность.

00:22:24,452 --> 00:22:26,999

А, тебе нравится это, муд... это

не пройдёт так просто как ты

00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:29,776

думаешь, приятель. Юнити не интересуют

другие коллективные разумы.

00:22:29,976 --> 00:22:32,948

Оно тебя использует и

высосет и через месяц я вас

00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,884

всех буду дрючить в рыжих париках!

Юнити! Юнити!

00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:39,038

Юнити, я знаю ты меня слышишь. Иди сюда.

00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:40,478

Оружейные системы активированы.

00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:42,582

А, в твоих снах у тебя

есть оружейные системы.

00:22:42,782 --> 00:22:44,628

Эээ, Рик, ты сказал что мы идём в кино.

00:22:44,828 --> 00:22:48,692

Мы идём, Морти. Ладно Бэта бля

7, ты спасён гонгом, сука!