Риксованный бизнес

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Have fun, you two.

00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,464

Yes, we will have as

much fun as possible on our...

00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,591

Titanic-themed getaway.

00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,468

Let's lose the 'tude, please.

00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,261

It's supposed to be romantic.

00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586

Speaking of disasters, Dad,

we are leaving you in charge.

00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,265

I know, c-can we wrap

this up?

00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,601

Morty and I have some

synthetic laser eels

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oxidizing in the garage.

00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,479

Hey, don't blow me off.

00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,314

I am drawing a line, okay?

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Any damage to this house

or these children

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when we get back, and...

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n-no more

adventures with Morty.

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Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's

the one saying it,

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then you know it's pretty

serious this time.

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- That's right.

- Wait. What?

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Listen, you have

my word as a caregiver,

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everything's gonna be fine.

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And if not, like you say, no

more adventures or whatever.

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It's like that old song

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"Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop

A-Noop Noop Noop."

00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,047

Y-You guys know that song?

From Tiny Rogerts?

00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,632

You never heard of it?

00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,093

You know, the black effeminate

guy from the '50s?

00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,594

No-Nobody?

00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,638

A-All right, whatever.

Look, who cares?

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Just go on your stupid trip.

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Not one thing out of place.

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Not a single thing.

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Well, we're past

the point of no return.

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I'm going to have a party.

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I found jello. Can you

sneak your mom's vodka?

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Yes, she does.

I saw it in your laundry room.

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Listen, you can't both be

in denial about it.

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Okay, bye.

- Summer!

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You can't throw a party!

Remember what mom said?

00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,832

Yeah, if anything

gets messed up,

00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237

you and Grandpa Rick get

punished.

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I'm only a human being, Morty.

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Rick, tell Summer

she can't have a party!

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Uh, Summer, you can't

have a party.

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Because

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I'm having

a party, b-i-i-i-itch!

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Oh, what?!

Rick, you can't!

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What do you mean

you're having a party?

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Are some Glip Glops

from the third dimension

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going to come over

and play cards or something?

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"Glip Glop?"

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You're lucky a Traflorkian

doesn't hear you say that.

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Is that like their

N-word?

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It's like the N-word

and the C-word had a baby

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and it was raised by

all the bad words for Jews.

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Listen, I think the

three of us could just,

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you know, have a nice

time, like, just hanging out,

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and, you know, doing

a little bonding and...

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Screw that.

This is my chance...

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to gain some footing

with the cool kids.

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That's why you party?

Boy, you really are 17.

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- Why do you party?

- To get...

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wr-wriggedy

wriggedy wrecked, son!

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Just keep your sci-fi friends

away from my awesome ones.

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Yeah, and you keep your

awesome friends away

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from my canapes.

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After dinner, Titanic2will

attach to the rail system

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near our replica iceberg,

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and the hydraulics

encased in these tubes

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will execute a controlled sink

into the icy depths.

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A rail system seems archaic

00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354

for an attraction this

impressive.

00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,231

Are you sure the ship will sink?

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I can assure you the ship

will sink,

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as it has a thousand

times before.

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It is UN-unsinkable.

- Ooh!

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Look, it's the line for the bow!

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Jerry, I'd love to just

kick back

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with a margarita and read.

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Do you mind if I skip the whole

"King of the World" bit?

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Well, it's not

the "King of the World" bit.

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That's Jack and Fabrizio.

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This is where Rose says,

"I'm flying, Jack!"

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But whatever.

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I can be the only one

to do it alone.

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Well, what about her?

Excuse me, ma'am.

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Would you like to take

my place in line?

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I, uh... I could get

into trouble.

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We won't tell.

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So...

you're a Titanic fanatic?

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Oh, yes. I've worked here

since it opened,

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but I've never been able

to participate.

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Happy to help... Rose.

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I love watching bukkake.

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I mean, like, I don't know if I

personally would ever do it...

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- Brad! Hey!

- Yo.

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Brad is here! Quick, make

my hair look drunk.

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Check it out.

Tammy's already drunk.

00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,496

Cool.

00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,540

The beacon was activated.

00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,376

Who is in danger?

- Ugh! Grandpa!

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Birdperson!

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I am pleased there is

no emergency.

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Oh, there's an emergency,

all right.

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A pussy emergency!

00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,843

When's the last time

you got laid, 'Pers?

00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,305

It has been a... challenging

mating season for Birdperson.

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Then it's time to get

your beak wet tonight, player.

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Go have some fun out there

Birdp... Bird... Birdperson.

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Oh, man, how many

people did you invite, Rick?

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Uh... people?

Mm, six.

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Yo! What up,

my Glip Glops?!

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Oh, man!

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Oh!

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Y-Y-You know there's

a garbage, right?

00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,956

Hey, uh, what the hell?!

00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749

Ooh. That's why you never

invite a Floopy Doop

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and a Shmoopy Doop

to the same party.

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Oh, oh, g...

oh, that's disgusting!

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You guys are in my parents' bed!

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Oh. Sorry.

I'm not feeling too well.

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I just needed to lie down

for a bit.

00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,598

Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry.

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310

Oh, my god!

Are you kidding me?!

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The thing people don't

realize about the gear wars

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is that it was never really

about the gears at all.

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Uh-huh. Yeah.

No, no, to-totally.

00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,570

Rick, you gotta stop...

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Morty!

Have you met Gearhead?

00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,907

- Hey, how's...

- Morty here, he...

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792

he would love to hear

all about the Gear Wars.

00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704

How familiar are you

with the gear wars, exactly?

00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,622

Uh... not at all.

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Oh, boy.

I envy you.

00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,962

Okay, it was about

754 years ago...

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Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met

my buddy Scropon?

00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,723

Not again, Rick.

00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,808

That last guy droned on for

20 minutes, you know?

00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,643

And meanwhile, the whole house

is being destroyed!

00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478

Whoa, Morty, this guy's

entire planet was destroyed.

00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,105

Have a little perspective.

00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,399

Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!

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Aw! Squanchy!

00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,069

Is there a good place for me

to squanch around here?

00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,405

Squanchy, you can

squanch wherever you want, man.

00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449

Mi casa es su casa, dawg!

00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,951

All right!

I like your squanch!

00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,245

Uh, Rick, what exactly

is "squanching"?

00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080

Morty, listen...

we've had a lot

00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,832

of really cool adventures

over the last year,

00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542

but it's time to relax.

00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,960

Yeah, if I relax now,

there might not

00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,420

even be any more adventures!

00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,047

Jesus, Morty, you're

bumming me out.

00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,715

Can't we just pretend like

everything's fine

00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,425

for a few hours,

enjoy ourselves,

00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,385

and then worry

about all this later?

00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,262

Yeah, that's easy

for you to say, Rick.

00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,264

You know, you like not

caring about stuff.

00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,893

You know, wh-wh-what's

in this for me?

00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,193

Jessica.

00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,986

Knock it off, Slow Mobius!

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,821

Ha ha! Sorry, dude!

00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,909

I'm just trying to show off

my powers, bro!

00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,577

I can't believe she's here.

00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,245

Well, what are you

doing standing here, Morty?

00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,914

Go. Talk to her.

00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,248

Tonight, the only adventure

you're on

00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,084

is your cusping manhood.

00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,047

Oh, Rose.

00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,592

Whee!

00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,052

Is that what I think it is?

00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,136

Yes, every couple gets

to re-create Jack's drowning

00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014

at the end of the movie.

00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099

It's so romantic.

00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,017

I can't wait to do

that with Beth.

00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,894

I don't know, Jerry.

With all due respect...

00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,978

it seems like your wife

may not be that interested.

00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,397

Look!

00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:26,028

Iceberg, right ahead!

The buffet is now closed.

00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,864

Uh, sir?

There's not a problem.

00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,242

What do you mean

there's not a problem?

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,202

The guidance system

isn't putting us

00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,954

on a direct collision course.

00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,957

This ship is about to completely

miss the giant iceberg!

00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,167

Well, do something!

Steer into it!

00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,419

I'm trying!

00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,049

It's too late.

Ladies and gentlemen...

00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,717

don't brace yourselves.

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,637

No! What happened?!

00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,931

Their rail system must have failed.

00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,520

Totally gonna get laid tonight.

00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,188

I like your feathers.

00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,107

They are designed to attract

the attention of the female.

00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733

It's working.

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,402

Tammy, I should let you know

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737

I just got out of a highly

intense soul bond

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,406

with my previous spirit mate.

00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,950

I'm not looking to get

into a soul bond.

00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,286

I'm just looking for...

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,955

I believe Birdperson can

arrange that.

00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,624

Hey, Summer, haven't seen you

at flute practice in a while.

00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626

Summer, don't tell me

you're friends with her.

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295

Are you kidding me?

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,297

I don't even know

what she's doing here.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,299

Whoa. Not cool, Summer.

This is a party.

00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,009

Everybody should be welcome.

00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,638

Oh, great. Who invited

Abradolph Lincoler?

00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,932

I thought everyone was welcome.

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,601

It's not the same, Summer.

00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,144

Lincoler is a crazed maniac...

00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,062

just a misguided effort

of mine to create

00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787

a morally neutral

superleader by combining

00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,733

the DNA of Adolf Hitler

and Abraham Lincoln.

00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,695

Turns out it just adds

up to a lame, weird loser.

00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,364

Rick, you brought me

into this world,

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,200

a suffering abomination

00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,036

tortured by the duality

of its being.

00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,163

But I shall finally know peace

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,707

when I watch the life drain

from your wretched body!

00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083

Whoa. What's up, man?

00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,002

I have no quarrel with you, boy.

00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,837

"Boy"?

What's that supposed to mean?

00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,255

It's just... l-look,

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,133

I-I don't know how you thought

I meant it, but...

00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,509

Don't look at me, dude.

00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,970

Look, I'm

half-Abraham Lincoln, so...

00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,223

So I should get on my knees

and kiss your ass?!

00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,891

Well, no, but...

00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893

You know?

- What do I know?

00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,604

That the Third Reich will reign

for a thousand years?

00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814

- Leave him alone, Brad.

- Stay out of this, Jessica!

00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,150

Kick his ass, Brad!

Kick his ass!

00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,403

Kick his ass! Kick his ass!

00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,363

Brad!

00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,906

Stupid!

00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,616

Rick!

00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,910

I just did you a favor, Morty.

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,579

Sorry about all that.

00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,206

Rick has some really

strange friends.

00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,750

Ugh! Brad is such a jerk.

00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,752

He's always trying to prove

what a man he is.

00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,297

I just want to find somebody

nice and sweet.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,425

Jessica, can I show

you something?

00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,554

- Wow! Look at all this stuff.

- Yeah.

00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,974

This is me and my grandpa Rick's

sci-fi workshop.

00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,558

Check this out.

00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,062

It's beautiful.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064

You know, Jessica,

there's something

00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,233

I've always wanted to tell you.

00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,194

- What's that, Morty?

- I think you're the most...

00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,071

No, that...

those weird sounds

00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,741

coming from the closet

over there.

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,913

- Oh, my god!

- Aah!

00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,581

Hey, I'm squanching in here!

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,542

Oh, my god!

Oh, that is so disgusting!

00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,128

Ow! Oh! Oh, crap!

00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,814

Huh.

Big star in the sky.

00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,817

Oxygen-rich atmosphere.

00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,819

Giant testicle monsters.

00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,237

We'll be fine! Let's party!

00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,956

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see whatcha got ♪

00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,833

♪ Just shake that ass... ♪

00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,252

I swear to god, Morty,

if it weren't for the fact

00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137

that everyone's still

having a blast in there,

00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,089

I would be so furious

with you right now.

00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,966

Oh, man.

Y-You hear that, Morty?

00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931

You really lucked out

with Summer o-on that one.

00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054

How are you guys not

freaking out right now?!

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,681

T-The whole house is sitting

in another dimension!

00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,933

I-I mean, w-what the hell

are we supposed to do?!

00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,810

M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna

kill us!

00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,271

I'm losing it here, Rick!

- Relax, Morty, relax!

00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,856

It's gonna be fine.

00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150

All we have to do is go out

and find us

00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,651

some Kalaxian crystals.

00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,653

Oh, shit, motherfucker!

00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,280

Kalaxian crystals, Morty,

00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,740

just a few miles south of here.

00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,283

Okay. Let's go, then.

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,202

W-W-We got to go get those

crystals right now, Rick.

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,204

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Morty, l-I can't go with you.

00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,872

I got to hang back

00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,166

and make sure everything stays

cool here, you know?

00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,336

I mean, who knows what... what

if somebody breaks something?

00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,296

Yeah. Me too.

I should stay.

00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,714

You guys have any aspirin?

00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,466

Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect!

00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,385

You can take Lincoler with you.

00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069

Hey, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm injured.

00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,763

Shut up, Lincoler.

00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,057

It's the least you can do

for wrecking the living room.

00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,559

Yeah! And, Nancy,

you should go, too.

00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,478

What? Why... why me?

00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,814

Because, uh, you're...

00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,983

you're so good

at playing the flute.

00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,987

Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.

00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,156

We should resume sinking shortly.

00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,158

In the meantime, please,

stay on the ship

00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,036

and enjoy a complimentary plate

of James Cameronion rings.

00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,205

Great. Not only is

the ship not sinking,

00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,082

but now the fourth wall

has been broken.

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,210

I am gonna go back

to the room to finish my book.

00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,003

You should find that Lucy woman.

00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,213

But... but...

00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,215

You see, Jerry?

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883

May I show you something?

00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,510

Had everything gone as planned,

00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220

this entire area

would be underwater.

00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,514

I would have liked to see it.

00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,183

This trip has been a "Titanic"

failure.

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,269

Get it?

Ooh!

00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,521

- Draw me, Jerry.

- Oh, boy.

00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,231

Lucy, wow.

00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,942

Uh, this isn't

what I had in mind.

00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,694

But it's the perfect moment.

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,071

We've been dreaming

about this for 16 years.

00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,948

Um, not like this.

Not... not with you.

00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952

You are gonna draw me.

00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122

Then you're going to fuck

me in that car over there.

00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,040

It's weird,

'cause I definitely think

00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,042

that all men are created equal.

00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,253

But, at the same time...

- Okay!

00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,422

Um, the crystals should be

really close.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965

There they are!

00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,843

Wait.

Something's not right.

00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,099

Get the crystals!

I'll handle the beast!

00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,895

Prepare to be emancipated from

your own inferior genes!

00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273

Summer's gonna like me again.

00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,240

Lincoler, come on!

Let's get out of here!

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910

Mein journey is over, Morty.

00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:52,915

I have something

important to tell you.

00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,502

♪ And the gears, they turned

for a thousand years ♪

00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,005

♪ Until the dark day

that they stopped ♪

00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,007

Rick, I got them!

00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425

I got the crystals!

00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,093

All right!

You did it, Morty.

00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,387

Rick, wait! There's something

you need to know.

00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,139

I couldn't have done it

without Lincoler.

00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,504

He said that he was really sorry

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,142

and that he loves you

like a father.

00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,560

He only wanted you

to accept him,

00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,020

and he hopes that his final act

00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,438

would redeem him in your eyes.

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,941

He sacrificed himself to save

all of us, Rick.

00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,567

He died.

00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,361

Well, at least

he didn't die in vain.

00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,113

He got these crystals.

00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,492

And these babies just saved

this lame-ass party!

00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,035

Wubba, lubba, dub, dub!

00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,870

Play something.

S-Somebody, play something.

00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,164

Wait a minute. What?

00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,087

♪ Put your right foot forward

and your left foot back ♪

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,839

♪ Then slide around like

on a Nordictrack ♪

00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,175

♪ Move to the left.

Step to the right ♪

00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,929

♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look

up into the light ♪

00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,181

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,809

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,769

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,646

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,439

Slow Mobius, hit me

with the clock beam!

00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,905

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,492

That's the Rick dance!

All right!

00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,910

Whoa, man!

00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,455

What the hell was that?!

00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460

I thought those crystals were

supposed to help us

00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,834

get home or something!

00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086

What? No, no, no, I can get us home

whenever I want to.

00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547

But, listen, speaking of those

crystals, can I get the rest of them?

00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,340

I'm starting to come down,

Morty.

00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,218

Crystal Kalaxian is a really

strong, but fleeting high.

00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,014

That's what I think of your

crystals, Rick!

00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,849

Oh, Morty, you idiot!

00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,184

Does anybody else have

any more K-Lax?

00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,561

B-Birdperson?

Uh, Squanchy?

00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,229

Don't squaunch at me.

00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,523

All right, everybody,

party is officially over!

00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,525

Rick, take us home now.

00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,902

All right, fine, Morty,

you party pooper buzzkill!

00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321

Boo, boo! Morty sucks!

00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,157

Boo! You suck,

whatever your name is.

00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,159

Morty, you're the worst, Morty.

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,411

But these gears just

started turnin'.

00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,288

Almost finished, Jerry?

00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332

Uh, almost.

00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,627

I haven't quite captured

your beautiful eyes.

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,378

I'm sure it's good enough.

Move!

00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,047

Every weekend,

Jacks and Roses have

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,882

their Titanic experience

in this car,

00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,426

and I have to mop it up.

00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,304

The floor drops out

to make it easier.

00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,014

But now it's my turn.

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,683

We're going to get it nice

and steamy in there,

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,144

and I'm going to slam my hand

on the steam

00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,896

and leave a nice handprint,

00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,565

and then you're going to love

inside of me.

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,442

No mess. No clean.

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,445

Beth!

00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031

Bet you're glad I think

Kindles are dumb now.

00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,743

I can't help

but feel a little guilty.

00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,912

I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.

00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,914

What does a rapist

look like exactly, Beth?

00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,916

Is it a Slavic man

wearing a denim jacket

00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,585

with a patchy beard

and the scent of cheap champagne

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,296

wafting over his

blister-pocked lips?

00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,381

What?

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,967

Well, at least you got

all this free stuff.

00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,970

Should be enough to satisfy your

Titanic Jones for a while.

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,598

I'm not going to fit.

00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,351

Beth, listen to me.

You're going to get outta here.

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,061

You're gonna go on, and...

00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,604

Jerry, just leave the door.

00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,314

It's not a door, Beth.

It's debris.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,149

I don't care.

Just leave it.

00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944

Yeah. Okay.

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,493

"Cape Fear"!

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,078

"Cape Fear"!

00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080

I'm... I'm doing... I'm...

I'm going to do like

00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,623

from "Cape Fear."

00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,342

Hey, squanchers!

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,886

The party's squanching on

at my place!

00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,390

- Cool.

- I'm coming, too.

00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267

Uh, no.

You're not squanchy enough...

00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,227

for a squanchy party.

- What?

00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,937

Nancy told us

what a bitch you are.

00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856

Guys, seriously.

Nancy?

00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,774

Summer, you're a bad person.

00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,943

All you care about is having

popular people like you.

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,945

That's not what

Abradolph Lincoler stood for.

00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,282

Well, i-it was hard to pin down

what he stood for,

00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,744

but it's certainly not

what he died for.

00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,998

Next time I party,

I'm just gonna focus

00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,000

on getting totally wrecked.

00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793

You're so wise.

00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,422

May I assist you with that?

00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,132

Uh, sure, yeah.

Thanks.

00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,051

Morty, do you know what

"wubba lubba dub dub" means?

00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,637

Uh, that's just Rick's

stupid nonsense catchphrase.

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,514

It's not nonsense at all.

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767

In my people's tongue, it means,

00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,727

"I am in great pain.

Please help me."

00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,271

Well, I got news for you.

He's saying it ironically.

00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356

No, Morty.

Your grandfather is, indeed,

00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,400

in very deep pain.

00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,402

That is why he must numb

himself.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,196

- Come on, um...

- Birdperson.

00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,698

Come on, Birdperson.

Rick's not that complicated.

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,617

He's just a huge asshole.

00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,244

Then why do you care so much

if you are no longer allowed

00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,246

to continue on your adventures

together?

00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,582

It appears fate has presented

you with an opportunity

00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,334

to free yourself of Rick

forever.

00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961

You know what? You're right.

I shouldn't even care.

00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,589

This is probably the best thing

that could have happened to me.

00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299

I'm sick of having adventures

with Rick.

00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801

My people have another saying...

00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,427

"gubba nub nub doo rah

kah."

00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,806

Lt means, "whatever lets you

sleep at night."

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,266

Guys, Mom and Dad are, like,

00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,935

right around the corner.

00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,771

This is your moment, Morty.

Choose wisely.

00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,147

Tammy!

00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,817

Caw!

00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,281

Wow. We are so screwed.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,116

- Rick, wake up.

- Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop.

00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,743

Rick, you got to do

something quick.

00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,120

My parents are home.

00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,498

Uh, all... all right.

All right. Hold... hold on.

00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,417

Ahh! So good.

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,585

Oh, my god. They're walking up

the driveway.

00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,838

- Bring me the thing.

- What... what thing?

00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,506

The thing. The thing.

00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,216

It's got, like, buttons on it

and lights on it.

00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,759

It... it... it beeps.

- Rick!

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,344

That describes everything

in your garage!

00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,428

Do you mean this?

00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974

Summer for for the win.

00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,600

All right, that should do it.

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,895

- Whoa! What did you do?

- Uh, s-see for yourself.

00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,605

Whoa!

00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,482

Yeah, e-everything's

frozen in time.

00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,359

Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks

he's all that.

00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,819

For how long?

00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,779

I don't know.

How long do you guys want?

00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,239

A week? A month?

00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,868

Can we start cleaning the house

and see how we feel?

00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867

- Worst movie ever.

- Dumb.

00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,311

Ooh, boy, what a waste of time.

00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,731

Get it?

You know, 'cause it's frozen.

00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,566

This has been so much fun.

00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,401

Hey, Rick.

You know, this whole time,

00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,069

I haven't once

heard you say that

00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738

"wubba lubba dub dub" thing

that you usually say.

00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197

Don't need to.

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,991

I have a new

catchphrase.

00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,826

Oh, yeah?

What... what's that, Rick?

00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,995

- I love my grandkids.

- Aww.

00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872

Psych! Just kidding...

my new catchphrase is,

00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,916

"I don't give

a fuck!"

00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see whatcha got ♪

00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,880

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see what you got ♪

00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,757

Roll credits!

00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,800

♪ Just shake that a... ♪

Roll the credits! Go!

00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,136

♪ Just shake that ass ♪

That's the end of season one!

00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,055

That's the end, motherfucker!

00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,349

"I don't give a fuck" is

my new catchphrase!

00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,808

Fuck you!

00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,852

That's season one! Boom!

00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,730

Season one up in your face,

motherfucker!

00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814

Yeah!

00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,599

Revenge.

00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,601

What?!

00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,982

Party!

00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,525

Whoo, baby!

00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:02,237

Please, stop!

00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,613

Hey, brah!

00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,615

I don't understand.

Are you enjoying this?

00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,367

Do you like this?

00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,369

Yeah, you know it, dawg!

00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,497

Whoo, baby!

00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,458

Did you get any of that?

00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,502

It's a good-a show!

00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,795

Have fun, you two.

00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,464

Yes, we will have as

much fun as possible on our...

00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,591

Titanic-themed getaway.

00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,468

Let's lose the 'tude, please.

00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,261

It's supposed to be romantic.

00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586

Speaking of disasters, Dad,

we are leaving you in charge.

00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,265

I know, c-can we wrap

this up?

00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,601

Morty and I [burps] have some

synthetic laser eels

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,811

oxidizing in the garage.

00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,479

Hey, don't blow me off.

00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,314

I am drawing a line, okay?

00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,525

Any damage to this house

or these children

00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,568

when we get back, and...

00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,612

n-no more

adventures with Morty.

00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,781

Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's

the one saying it,

00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,783

then you know it's pretty

serious this time.

00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,326

- BOTH: That's right.

- Wait. What?

00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,328

Listen, you have

my word as a caregiver,

00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,247

everything's gonna be fine.

00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,958

And if not, like you say, no

more adventures or whatever.

00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,751

It's like that old song

00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,795

"Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop

A-Noop Noop Noop."

00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,047

Y-You guys know that song?

From Tiny Rogerts?

00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,632

You never heard of it?

00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,093

You know, the black effeminate

guy from the '50s?

00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,594

No-Nobody?

00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,638

A-All right, whatever.

Look, who cares?

00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,765

Just go on your stupid trip.

00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,184

Not one thing out of place.

00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,396

[ engine turns over ]

00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,149

Not a single thing.

00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,613

[ bubbling, crackling ]

00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,411

Well, we're past

the point of no return.

00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,871

I'm going to have a party.

00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,405

SUMMER: I found jello. Can you

sneak your mom's vodka?

00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,741

Yes, she does.

I saw it in your laundry room.

00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,577

Listen, you can't both be

in denial about it.

00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,245

Okay, bye.

- Summer!

00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,372

You can't throw a party!

Remember what mom said?

00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,832

Yeah, if anything

gets messed up,

00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237

you and Grandpa Rick get

punished.

00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,493

I'm only a human being, Morty.

00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,462

Rick, tell Summer

she can't have a party!

00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,380

Uh, Summer, you can't

have a party.

00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,049

- [ scoffs ]

- Because [burps]

00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,717

I'm having

a party, b-i-i-i-itch!

00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,594

Oh, what?!

Rick, you can't!

00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,638

What do you mean

you're having a party?

00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,681

Are some Glip Glops

from the third dimension

00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,809

going to come over

and play cards or something?

00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,018

"Glip Glop?"

00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,686

You're lucky a Traflorkian

doesn't hear you say that.

00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,313

Is that like their

N-word?

00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,981

It's like the N-word

and the C-word had a baby

00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,983

and it was raised by

all the bad words for Jews.

00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,860

Listen, I think the

three of us could just,

00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,779

you know, have a nice

time, like, just hanging out,

00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,583

and, you know, doing

a little bonding and...

00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,324

Screw that.

This is my chance...

00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,159

to gain some footing

with the cool kids.

00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,620

That's why you party?

Boy, you really are 17.

00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,789

- Why do you party?

- To get [burps]...

00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,958

wr-wriggedy

wriggedy wrecked, son!

00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,836

Just keep your sci-fi friends

away from my awesome ones.

00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,129

Yeah, and you keep your

awesome friends away

00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,507

from my canapes.

00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,635

After dinner, Titanic2will

attach to the rail system

00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,011

near our replica iceberg,

00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,888

and the hydraulics

encased in these tubes

00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,724

will execute a controlled sink

into the icy depths.

00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,768

A rail system seems archaic

00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354

for an attraction this

impressive.

00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,231

Are you sure the ship will sink?

00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,899

I can assure you the ship

will sink,

00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,818

as it has a thousand

times before.

00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,530

It is UN-unsinkable.

- Ooh!

00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,782

Look, it's the line for the bow!

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,659

Jerry, I'd love to just

kick back

00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,494

with a margarita and read.

00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,454

Do you mind if I skip the whole

"King of the World" bit?

00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,540

Well, it's not

the "King of the World" bit.

00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,791

That's Jack and Fabrizio.

00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,085

This is where Rose says,

"I'm flying, Jack!"

00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,503

But whatever.

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,713

I can be the only one

to do it alone.

00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882

Well, what about her?

Excuse me, ma'am.

00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,967

Would you like to take

my place in line?

00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,344

I, uh... I could get

into trouble.

00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,138

We won't tell.

00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,266

So...

you're a Titanic fanatic?

00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,602

Oh, yes. I've worked here

since it opened,

00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,812

but I've never been able

to participate.

00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,731

Happy to help... Rose.

00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,482

[ giggles ]

00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,484

I love watching bukkake.

00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,695

I mean, like, I don't know if I

personally would ever do it...

00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,739

- Brad! Hey!

- Yo.

00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,283

Brad is here! Quick, make

my hair look drunk.

00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,785

Check it out.

Tammy's already drunk.

00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,496

Cool.

00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,540

The beacon was activated.

00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,376

Who is in danger?

- Ugh! Grandpa!

00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,920

Birdperson!

00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,671

I am pleased there is

no emergency.

00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,423

Oh, there's an emergency,

all right.

00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,966

A pussy emergency!

00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,843

When's the last time

you got laid, 'Pers?

00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,305

It has been a... challenging

mating season for Birdperson.

00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,432

Then it's time to get

your beak wet tonight, player.

00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,596

Go have some fun out there

Birdp... Bird... Birdperson.

00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,603

Oh, man, how many

people did you invite, Rick?

00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,066

Uh... people?

Mm, six.

00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,318

Yo! What up,

my Glip Glops?!

00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,861

Oh, man!

00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,197

[ electronic music plays ]

00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,783

[ breathing heavily ] Oh!

00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,661

Y-Y-You know there's

a garbage, right?

00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,956

Hey, uh, what the hell?!

00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749

Ooh. That's why you never

invite a Floopy Doop

00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,002

and a Shmoopy Doop

to the same party.

00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,880

[ bed springs squeaking ]

00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,757

Oh, oh, g...

oh, that's disgusting!

00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,121

You guys are in my parents' bed!

00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,094

Oh. Sorry.

I'm not feeling too well.

00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,221

I just needed to lie down

for a bit.

00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,598

Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry.

[ chuckles ]

00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,392

[ groans ]

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310

Oh, my god!

Are you kidding me?!

00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,939

The thing people don't

realize about the gear wars

00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,234

is that it was never really

about the gears at all.

00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,069

Uh-huh. Yeah.

No, no, to-totally.

00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,570

Rick, you gotta stop...

00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,280

Morty!

Have you met Gearhead?

00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,907

- Hey, how's...

- Morty here, he...

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792

he would love to hear

all about the Gear Wars.

00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704

How familiar are you

with the gear wars, exactly?

00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,622

Uh... not at all.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,624

Oh, boy.

I envy you.

00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,962

Okay, it was about

754 years ago...

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,388

Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met

my buddy Scropon?

00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,723

Not again, Rick.

00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,808

That last guy droned on for

20 minutes, you know?

00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,643

And meanwhile, the whole house

is being destroyed!

00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478

Whoa, Morty, this guy's

entire planet was destroyed.

00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,105

Have a little perspective.

00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,399

Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!

00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,859

Aw! Squanchy!

00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,069

Is there a good place for me

to squanch around here?

00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,405

Squanchy, you can

squanch wherever you want, man.

00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449

Mi casa es su casa, dawg!

00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,951

All right!

I like your squanch!

00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,245

Uh, Rick, what exactly

is "squanching"?

00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080

Morty, listen...

we've had a lot

00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,832

of really cool adventures

over the last year,

00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542

but it's time to relax.

00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,960

Yeah, if I relax now,

there might not

00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,420

even be any more adventures!

00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,047

Jesus, Morty, you're

bumming me out.

00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,715

Can't we just pretend like

everything's fine

00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,425

for a few hours,

enjoy ourselves,

00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,385

and then worry

about all this later?

00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,262

Yeah, that's easy

for you to say, Rick.

00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,264

You know, you like not

caring about stuff.

00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,893

You know, wh-wh-what's

in this for me?

00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,520

[ soft music plays ]

00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,398

[ indistinct conversations ]

00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,193

Jessica.

00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,986

Knock it off, Slow Mobius!

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,821

Ha ha! Sorry, dude!

00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,909

I'm just trying to show off

my powers, bro!

00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,577

I can't believe she's here.

00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,245

Well, what are you

doing standing here, Morty?

00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,914

Go. Talk to her.

00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,248

Tonight, the only adventure

you're on

00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,084

is your cusping manhood.

00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,920

[ both laugh ]

00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,047

Oh, Rose.

00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,592

Whee!

00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,052

Is that what I think it is?

00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,136

Yes, every couple gets

to re-create Jack's drowning

00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014

at the end of the movie.

00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099

It's so romantic.

00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,017

I can't wait to do

that with Beth.

00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,894

I don't know, Jerry.

With all due respect...

00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,978

it seems like your wife

may not be that interested.

00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,397

[ gasps ] Look!

00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:26,028

Iceberg, right ahead!

The buffet is now closed.

00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,864

Uh, sir?

There's not a problem.

00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,242

What do you mean

there's not a problem?

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,202

The guidance system

isn't putting us

00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,954

on a direct collision course.

00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,957

This ship is about to completely

miss the giant iceberg!

00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,167

Well, do something!

Steer into it!

00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,419

I'm trying!

00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,049

It's too late.

Ladies and gentlemen...

00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,717

don't brace yourselves.

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,637

- [ all gasping ]

- JERRY: No! What happened?!

00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,931

WOMAN:

Their rail system must have failed.

00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,933

[ indistinct murmuring ]

00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,520

Totally gonna get laid tonight.

00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,188

I like your feathers.

00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,107

They are designed to attract

the attention of the female.

00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733

It's working.

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,402

Tammy, I should let you know

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737

I just got out of a highly

intense soul bond

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,406

with my previous spirit mate.

00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,950

I'm not looking to get

into a soul bond.

00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,286

I'm just looking for...

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,955

I believe Birdperson can

arrange that.

00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,624

Hey, Summer, haven't seen you

at flute practice in a while.

00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626

Summer, don't tell me

you're friends with her.

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295

Are you kidding me?

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,297

I don't even know

what she's doing here.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,299

Whoa. Not cool, Summer.

This is a party.

00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,009

Everybody should be welcome.

00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,553

[ crashes ]

00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,638

Oh, great. Who invited

Abradolph Lincoler?

00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,932

I thought everyone was welcome.

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,601

It's not the same, Summer.

00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,144

Lincoler is a crazed maniac...

00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,062

just a misguided effort

of mine to create

00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787

a morally neutral

superleader by combining

00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,733

the DNA of Adolf Hitler

and Abraham Lincoln.

00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,695

Turns out it [burps] just adds

up to a lame, weird loser.

00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,364

Rick, you brought me

into this world,

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,200

a suffering abomination

00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,036

tortured by the duality

of its being.

00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,163

But I shall finally know peace

00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,707

when I watch the life drain

from your wretched body!

00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083

Whoa. What's up, man?

00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,002

I have no quarrel with you, boy.

00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,837

"Boy"?

What's that supposed to mean?

00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,255

It's just... l-look,

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,133

I-I don't know how you thought

I meant it, but...

00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,509

Don't look at me, dude.

00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,970

Look, I'm

half-Abraham Lincoln, so...

00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,223

So I should get on my knees

and kiss your ass?!

00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,891

Well, no, but...

00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893

You know?

- What do I know?

00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,604

That the Third Reich will reign

for a thousand years?

00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814

- Leave him alone, Brad.

- Stay out of this, Jessica!

00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,150

Kick his ass, Brad!

Kick his ass!

00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,403

ALL:

Kick his ass! Kick his ass!

00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,363

Brad!

00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,906

Stupid!

[ grunts ]

00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,616

Rick!

00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,910

I just did you a favor, Morty.

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,579

Sorry about all that.

00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,206

Rick has some really

strange friends.

00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,750

Ugh! Brad is such a jerk.

00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,752

He's always trying to prove

what a man he is.

00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,297

I just want to find somebody

nice and sweet.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,425

Jessica, can I show

you something?

00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,554

- Wow! Look at all this stuff.

- Yeah.

00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,974

This is me and my grandpa Rick's

sci-fi workshop.

00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,558

Check this out.

00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,394

[ projector beeping ]

00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,062

It's beautiful.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064

You know, Jessica,

there's something

00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,233

I've always wanted to tell you.

00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,194

- What's that, Morty?

- I think you're the most...

00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,071

No, that...

those weird sounds

00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,741

coming from the closet

over there.

00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:21,620

[ closet rattling ]

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,913

- Oh, my god!

- Aah!

00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,581

Hey, I'm squanching in here!

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,542

Oh, my god!

Oh, that is so disgusting!

00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,128

Ow! Oh! Oh, crap!

00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,630

[ device warbling ]

00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,596

[ warbling ]

00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,057

[ all screaming ]

00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,814

Huh.

Big star in the sky.

00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,817

[ inhales sharply ]

Oxygen-rich atmosphere.

00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,819

Giant testicle monsters.

00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,237

We'll be fine! Let's party!

00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,323

[ all cheering ]

00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,956

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see whatcha got ♪

00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,833

♪ Just shake that ass... ♪

00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,252

SUMMER: I swear to god, Morty,

if it weren't for the fact

00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137

that everyone's still

having a blast in there,

00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,089

I would be so furious

with you right now.

00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,966

Oh, man.

Y-You hear that, Morty?

00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931

You really lucked out

with Summer o-on that one.

00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054

How are you guys not

freaking out right now?!

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,681

T-The whole house is sitting

in another dimension!

00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,933

I-I mean, w-what the hell

are we supposed to do?!

00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,810

M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna

kill us!

00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,271

I'm losing it here, Rick!

- Relax, Morty, relax!

00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,856

It's gonna be fine.

00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150

All we have to do is go out

and find us

00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,651

some Kalaxian crystals.

00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,653

[ detector beeping ]

Oh, shit, motherfucker!

00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,280

Kalaxian crystals, Morty,

00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,740

just a few miles south of here.

00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,283

Okay. Let's go, then.

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,202

W-W-We got to go get those

crystals right now, Rick.

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,204

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Morty, l-I can't go with you.

00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,872

I got to hang back

00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,166

and make sure everything stays

cool here, you know?

00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,336

I mean, who knows what... what

if somebody breaks something?

00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,296

Yeah. Me too.

I should stay.

00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,714

You guys have any aspirin?

00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,466

Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect!

00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,385

You can take Lincoler with you.

00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069

Hey, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm injured.

00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,763

Shut up, Lincoler.

00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,057

It's the least you can do

for wrecking the living room.

00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,559

Yeah! And, Nancy,

you should go, too.

00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,478

What? Why... why me?

00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,814

Because, uh, you're...

00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,983

you're so good

at playing the flute.

00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,987

CAPTAIN:

Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.

00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,156

We should resume sinking shortly.

00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,158

In the meantime, please,

stay on the ship

00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,036

and enjoy a complimentary plate

of James Cameronion rings.

00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,205

Great. Not only is

the ship not sinking,

00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,082

but now the fourth wall

has been broken.

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,210

[ sighs ] I am gonna go back

to the room to finish my book.

00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,003

You should find that Lucy woman.

00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,213

But... but...

00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,215

[ clears throat ]

You see, Jerry?

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883

May I show you something?

00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,510

Had everything gone as planned,

00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220

this entire area

would be underwater.

00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,514

[ sighs ]

I would have liked to see it.

00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,183

This trip has been a "Titanic"

failure.

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,269

Get it?

Ooh!

00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,521

- Draw me, Jerry.

- Oh, boy.

00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,231

Lucy, wow.

00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,942

Uh, this isn't

what I had in mind.

00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,694

But it's the perfect moment.

00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,071

We've been dreaming

about this for 16 years.

00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,948

Um, not like this.

Not... not with you.

00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,950

[ chuckles nervously ]

00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952

[ gun cocks ]

You are gonna draw me.

00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122

Then you're going to fuck

me in that car over there.

00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,040

It's weird,

'cause I definitely think

00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,042

that all men are created equal.

00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,253

But, at the same time...

- Okay!

00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,422

Um, the crystals should be

really close.

00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965

There they are!

00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,843

Wait.

Something's not right.

00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,303

[ creature growls ]

00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,512

[ screams ]

00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,972

[ creature roars ]

00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,099

Get the crystals!

I'll handle the beast!

00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,895

Prepare to be emancipated from

your own inferior genes!

00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,438

[ grunting ]

00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273

[ gasps ]

Summer's gonna like me again.

00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,232

[ creature growling ]

00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:42,946

[ grunts ]

00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,240

Lincoler, come on!

Let's get out of here!

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910

Mein journey is over, Morty.

00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:52,915

[ groaning ] I have something

important to tell you.

00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,502

♪ And the gears, they turned

for a thousand years ♪

00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,005

♪ Until the dark day

that they stopped ♪

00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,007

[ gasps ] Rick, I got them!

00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425

I got the crystals!

00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,093

All right!

You did it, Morty.

00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,387

Rick, wait! There's something

you need to know.

00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,139

I couldn't have done it

without Lincoler.

00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,504

He said that he was really sorry

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,142

and that he loves you

like a father.

00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,560

He only wanted you

to accept him,

00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,020

and he hopes that his final act

00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,438

would redeem him in your eyes.

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,941

He sacrificed himself to save

all of us, Rick.

00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,567

He died.

00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,361

Well, at least

he didn't die in vain.

00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,113

He got these crystals.

00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,448

[ sniffs ]

00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,492

And these babies just saved

this lame-ass party!

00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,035

Wubba, lubba, dub, dub!

00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,870

Play something.

S-Somebody, play something.

00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,164

[ clicks ]

Wait a minute. What?

00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:37,167

[ hip-hop music plays ]

00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,087

♪ Put your right foot forward

and your left foot back ♪

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,839

♪ Then slide around like

on a Nordictrack ♪

00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,175

♪ Move to the left.

Step to the right ♪

00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,929

♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look

up into the light ♪

00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,181

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,809

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,769

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,646

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,439

Slow Mobius, hit me

with the clock beam!

00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,361

[ warbling ]

00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,905

♪ It's the, it's the ♪

00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156

♪ It's the Rick dance ♪

00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,492

That's the Rick dance!

All right!

00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,910

[ burps ] Whoa, man!

00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,995

[ all cheering ]

00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,455

What the hell was that?!

00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460

I thought those crystals were

supposed to help us

00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,834

get home or something!

00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086

What? No, no, no, I can get us home

whenever I want to.

00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547

But, listen, speaking of those

crystals, can I get the rest of them?

00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,340

I'm starting to come down,

Morty.

00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,218

Crystal Kalaxian is a really

strong, but fleeting high.

00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,012

[ door slides open,

Morty grunts ]

00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,014

That's what I think of your

crystals, Rick!

00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,849

Oh, Morty, you idiot!

00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,184

Does anybody else have

any more K-Lax?

00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,561

B-Birdperson?

Uh, Squanchy?

00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,229

Don't squaunch at me.

00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,523

All right, everybody,

party is officially over!

00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,525

Rick, take us home now.

00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,902

All right, fine, Morty,

you party pooper buzzkill!

00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321

Boo, boo! Morty sucks!

00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,157

Boo! You suck,

whatever your name is.

00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,159

RICK:

Morty, you're the worst, Morty.

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,411

But these gears just

started turnin'.

00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,288

LUCY:

Almost finished, Jerry?

00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332

Uh, almost.

00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,627

I haven't quite captured

your beautiful eyes.

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,378

I'm sure it's good enough.

Move!

00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,047

Every weekend,

Jacks and Roses have

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,882

their Titanic experience

in this car,

00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,426

and I have to mop it up.

00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,304

The floor drops out

to make it easier.

00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,014

But now it's my turn.

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,683

We're going to get it nice

and steamy in there,

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,144

and I'm going to slam my hand

on the steam

00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,896

and leave a nice handprint,

00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,565

and then you're going to love

inside of me.

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,442

No mess. No clean.

00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,110

[ grunts ]

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,445

Beth!

00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031

Bet you're glad I think

Kindles are dumb now.

00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,743

BETH: I can't help

but feel a little guilty.

00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,912

I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.

00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,914

What does a rapist

look like exactly, Beth?

00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,916

Is it a Slavic man

wearing a denim jacket

00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,585

with a patchy beard

and the scent of cheap champagne

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,296

wafting over his

blister-pocked lips?

00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,381

What?

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,967

Well, at least you got

all this free stuff.

00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,970

Should be enough to satisfy your

Titanic Jones for a while.

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,598

[ grunts ] I'm not going to fit.

00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,351

Beth, listen to me.

You're going to get outta here.

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,061

You're gonna go on, and...

00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,604

Jerry, just leave the door.

00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,314

It's not a door, Beth.

It's debris.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,149

I don't care.

Just leave it.

00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944

Yeah. Okay.

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,493

[ laughs evilly ] "Cape Fear"!

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,078

"Cape Fear"!

00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080

I'm... I'm doing... I'm...

I'm going to do like

00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,623

from "Cape Fear."

00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,500

[ grunts, groans ]

00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,503

[ moaning, screaming ]

00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,342

SQUANCHY:

Hey, squanchers!

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,886

The party's squanching on

at my place!

00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,722

[ all cheering ]

00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,390

- Cool.

- I'm coming, too.

00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267

Uh, no.

You're not squanchy enough...

00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,227

for a squanchy party.

- What?

00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,937

Nancy told us

what a bitch you are.

00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856

Guys, seriously.

Nancy?

00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,774

Summer, you're a bad person.

00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,943

All you care about is having

popular people like you.

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,945

That's not what

Abradolph Lincoler stood for.

00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,282

Well, i-it was hard to pin down

what he stood for,

00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,744

but it's certainly not

what he died for.

00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,998

Next time I party,

I'm just gonna focus

00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,000

on getting totally wrecked.

00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793

You're so wise.

00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,545

[ mumbles ]

00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,422

May I assist you with that?

00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,132

Uh, sure, yeah.

Thanks.

00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,051

Morty, do you know what

"wubba lubba dub dub" means?

00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,637

Uh, that's just Rick's

stupid nonsense catchphrase.

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,514

It's not nonsense at all.

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767

In my people's tongue, it means,

00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,727

"I am in great pain.

Please help me."

00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,271

Well, I got news for you.

He's saying it ironically.

00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356

No, Morty.

Your grandfather is, indeed,

00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,400

in very deep pain.

00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,402

That is why he must numb

himself.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,196

- Come on, um...

- Birdperson.

00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,698

Come on, Birdperson.

Rick's not that complicated.

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,617

He's just a huge asshole.

00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,244

Then why do you care so much

if you are no longer allowed

00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,246

to continue on your adventures

together?

00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,582

It appears fate has presented

you with an opportunity

00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,334

to free yourself of Rick

forever.

00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961

You know what? You're right.

I shouldn't even care.

00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,589

This is probably the best thing

that could have happened to me.

00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299

I'm sick of having adventures

with Rick.

00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801

My people have another saying...

00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,427

"gubba nub nub doo rah

kah."

00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,806

Lt means, "whatever lets you

sleep at night."

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,266

[ cellphone beeps ]

Guys, Mom and Dad are, like,

00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,935

right around the corner.

00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,771

This is your moment, Morty.

Choose wisely.

00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,147

Tammy!

00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,817

[ grunts ] Caw!

00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,281

SUMMER:

Wow. We are so screwed.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,116

- Rick, wake up.

- Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop.

00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,743

Rick, you got to do

something quick.

00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,120

My parents are home.

- [ groans ]

00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,498

Uh, all... all right.

All right. Hold... hold on.

00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,749

[ gulping ]

00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,417

Ahh! So good.

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,585

Oh, my god. They're walking up

the driveway.

00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,838

- Bring me the thing.

- What... what thing?

00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,506

The thing. The thing.

00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,216

It's got, like, buttons on it

and lights on it.

00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,759

It... it... it beeps.

- Rick!

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,344

That describes everything

in your garage!

00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,428

Do you mean this?

00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974

Summer for [burps] for the win.

00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,600

All right, that should do it.

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,895

- Whoa! What did you do?

- Uh, s-see for yourself.

00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,605

Whoa!

00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,482

Yeah, e-everything's

frozen in time.

00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,359

Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks

he's all that.

00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,819

For how long?

00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,779

I don't know.

How long do you guys want?

00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,239

A week? A month?

00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,868

Can we start cleaning the house

and see how we feel?

00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,370

[ mid-tempo rock music plays ]

00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,182

[ epic music plays]

00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867

- RICK: Worst movie ever.

- SUMMER: Dumb.

00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,311

Ooh, boy, what a waste of time.

00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,812

[ laughter ]

00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,731

Get it?

You know, 'cause it's frozen.

00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,566

This has been so much fun.

00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,401

Hey, Rick.

You know, this whole time,

00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,069

I haven't once

heard you say that

00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738

"wubba lubba dub dub" thing

that you usually say.

00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197

Don't need to.

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,991

I have [burps] a new

catchphrase.

00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,826

Oh, yeah?

What... what's that, Rick?

00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,995

- I love my grandkids.

- BOTH: Aww.

00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872

Psych! Just kidding...

my new catchphrase is,

00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,916

"I don't give

a fuck!"

00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see whatcha got ♪

00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,880

♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,

and let me see what you got ♪

00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,757

Roll credits!

00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,800

♪ Just shake that a... ♪

Roll the credits! Go!

00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,136

♪ Just shake that ass ♪

That's the end of season one!

00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,055

That's the end, motherfucker!

00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,349

"I don't give a fuck" is

my new catchphrase!

00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,808

Fuck you!

00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,852

That's season one! Boom!

00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,730

Season one up in your face,

motherfucker!

00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814

Yeah!

00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,599

Revenge.

00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,601

What?!

00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,982

MAN:

Party!

00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,525

Whoo, baby!

00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:02,237

LINCOLER: [ groans ]

Please, stop!

00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,613

Hey, brah!

00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,615

I don't understand.

Are you enjoying this?

00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,367

Do you like this?

00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,369

Yeah, you know it, dawg!

00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,079

[ Lincoler retches ]

00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,497

Whoo, baby!

00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,458

Did you get any of that?

00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,502

It's a good-a show!