Мисикс и разрушение

00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,207

Morty, do it!

Hit the button now!

00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,291

I can't do it, Rick!

00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,626

They're my parents and sister!

00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,086

Morty, I already told you...

it's not your family!

00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,046

They're clones from

an alternate reality,

00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,715

possessed by demonic alien

spirits from another

00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:49,882

dimension's future!

00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,342

Do you need a mnemonic

device or something?

00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,635

Just hit the button, already!

00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,098

Morty, please,

I love you, sweetheart.

00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,474

Oh!

00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,482

Good work, Morty.

00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,695

You know, Th-Th-these demonic

alien spirits are really valuable.

00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:11,988

You okay, Morty?

00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,031

I told you not to

trust that tuna.

00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,491

I just killed my family!

00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,696

I don't care what they were.

00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,827

I don't know, Morty.

00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,287

Some people'd pay top dollar

for that kind of breakthrough.

00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,371

You know what, Rick?

00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,497

That's it!

00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,124

I'm done with these

insane adventures!

00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,376

That was really traumatizing!

I quit! I'm out!

00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,961

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,880

Come on, Morty, don't...

don't... don't be like that.

00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,548

The Universe is a crazy,

chaotic place.

00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,924

You're the one that's

crazy and chaotic!

00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,218

Adventures are supposed

to be simple and fun.

00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,303

Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah.

00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,424

Yeah, that... that... that's

00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:38,389

real easy to say from the

sidekick position.

00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,433

But... but, uh, how about

next time you be in charge,

00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,518

and then we'll talk about

how simple and fun it is?

00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,811

Seriously, Rick?

00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,938

Y-y-you'll... you'll

let me call the shots?

00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,231

Okay, yeah, fine.

00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,756

But let's make it interesting,

Morty.

00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,861

I-I-I-If your adventure sucks

and we bail halfway through it,

00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,405

you lose the right to bitch

about all future adventures.

00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,282

Plus, you have to do

my laundry for a month.

00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,575

Okay, all right, tough guy!

00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,826

But if my adventure's good,

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,328

I get to be in charge of

every third adventure!

00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,412

Every 10th.

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,413

Deal. All right.

00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:03,581

W-well, come on,

let's get going.

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,583

Dad, the dishwasher's

doing that thing again.

00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,501

Washing dishes?

00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,418

No. The opposite.

00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,795

Can you fix it?

00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,463

Grandpa Rick, can you help me

with my science homework?

00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,464

Yeah... j-just don't do it.

00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,840

Grandpa!

00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,802

Hey, Rick, you got some kind of

hand-shaped device that can open

00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:16,928

this mayonnaise jar?

00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,179

Wow. Hat trick.

00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,305

All right, Morty,

let's put a pin in this.

00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,598

I got to help your

pathetic family.

00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,682

Oh, that sounds like

something a chicken would say.

00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,519

Bawk, bawk, bawk,

bawk, bawk, bawk.

00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:25,686

Oh, Morty, you done

did it this time.

00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,146

It's on.

00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,311

I can't wait to watch your

adventure lay a huge fart.

00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,025

As for you dingdongs...

00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,110

This is a Meeseeks Box.

00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,237

Let me show you how it works.

00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,196

You press this.

00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,989

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,074

Look at me!

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,450

You make a request.

00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,455

Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's

stupid mayonnaise jar.

00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,954

Yes, siree!

00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,497

The Meeseeks fulfills

the request.

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,873

All done!

00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,041

Wow!

00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,501

And then it stops existing.

00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,086

Oh, my God, he exploded!

00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,254

Trust me, they're fine with it.

00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,505

Knock yourselves out...

00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,298

Just keep

your requests simple.

00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,258

They're not gods.

00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,467

All right!

00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,760

G-get out of here now!

Everybody out of here!

00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,303

I got a bet to win!

00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,014

So many possibilities.

00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,307

My mind is racing.

00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:04,552

If we're gonna use this thing,

00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:05,768

which I'm not even

sure we should,

00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,853

we need to keep it simp...

00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,229

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,355

I want to be popular at school!

00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,731

Ooh, okay!

00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,275

Summer, what did I just...

00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,318

Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

Look at me!

00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,820

I-I-I want... I want to

be a more complete woman!

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:16,737

Beth!

00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,823

Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!

00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,367

You guys are doing it wrong.

00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,370

He said "Simple."

00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,789

Hey, there.

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,042

Mr. Meeseeks,

I would like to take

00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,794

two strokes off my golf game.

00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,548

Ooh, yeah! Can do!

00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,841

Nailed it.

00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,135

God, Morty, what a boring

start to an adventure.

00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,512

I don't... w-w-w-why didn't we

just go to Kentucky?

00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,806

Rick, this is a fantasy-type

world with creatures

00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,516

and all sorts of fantasy things.

00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,934

W-we're going on a quest, okay?

00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,353

Can't wait.

00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,105

Ahem. Excuse me!

00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,901

We are two humble heroes

in search of adventure!

00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,193

Oh, my God, so embarrassing.

00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,862

At last! Two heroes!

00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,363

You must help us!

00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:02,700

This village is terribly poor,

yet the giant that lives in the

00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,744

clouds above has

untold treasures!

00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,203

You know what?

00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,790

I-I-I accept your call to

adventure, good sir, kind sir.

00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,125

Come on, Rick.

00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,460

There's a giant in the clouds!

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,419

Yeah.

00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,921

Beginner's luck.

00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,758

Ln conclusion, a friendship

with Summer Smith is the most

00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:22,386

valuable and enriching

experience of your young lives.

00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,722

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,057

Look at me!

00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:26,974

Thank you!

00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,434

Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it?

00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,727

Yeah. Gene Vagina.

00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,813

Listen, I'm in a bit of custody

thing with my ex and was wondering...

00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,658

No, I'll G... I'll get

your info from Summer.

00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,026

I got pregnant at 17.

00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,028

I mean, I still put myself

through Veterinary School.

00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:44,742

Yes, I'm successful,

but what if I hadn't...

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,329

I'm just saying,

somewhere along the way,

00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,374

I lost that wide-eyed

girl from Muskegon.

00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,459

She's still there, Beth.

00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,835

Well, her waistline isn't.

00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,382

Beth, having a family

doesn't mean that you

00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,717

stop being an individual.

00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,760

You know the best thing you can

00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,929

do for people that

depend on you?

00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:09,141

Be honest with them, even if

it means setting them free.

00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,353

You're saying I

should leave Jerry.

00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:16,941

I can't believe I'm finally

having this conversation.

00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,117

More wine?

00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,494

I think I've had enough.

00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,210

Remember to square your

shoulders, Jerry.

00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,004

Yeah, yeah. I got it.

00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,634

That's okay.

00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,469

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!

00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,388

Try again and

keep your head down.

00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,639

Okay, well, which is it?

00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,099

Square my shoulders

or keep my head down?

00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,642

Well, it's both.

00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:54,395

But most importantly,

you got to relax.

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,599

You know what, Mr. Meeseeks?

00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,564

I don't think this is working.

00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,982

I give up.

00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,401

I'm sorry, Jerry,

but it doesn't work like that.

00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,777

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,655

I have to fulfill my

purpose so I can go away.

00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,823

Look at me.

00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,867

Well, make yourself comfortable,

because I suck.

00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,828

No, Jerry, I'm the one who

sucks!

00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,663

Let me try something.

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:13,956

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,041

Look at me!

00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,042

Hi, Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:16,959

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.

00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,461

Hi!

00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,713

Can you help me get two strokes

off of Jerry's golf swing?

00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,214

Can do!

00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,716

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,509

Is he keeping his

shoulders squared?

00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,303

Ooh, he's trying!

00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,435

All right, Morty.

00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,437

W-w-we're in your

stupid giant's castle.

00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,521

W-what do we do next?

00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,647

Would you just relax, Rick?

00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,191

All we got to do is find

the treasure room, okay?

00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,692

It's nice and simple.

00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,444

You know, I-I-I'm sorry

everything's going so

00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,904

smoothly and adventurously.

00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,449

Uh-oh, Morty.

00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,773

Startin' to get a little hairy.

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,945

What do you want to do, boss?

00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:51,786

Come on, hurry.

00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:52,912

Behind this cookie jar.

00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,582

Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!

00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,125

Just give up, Morty.

00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,376

J-J-J... this is game over.

00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,586

I'll take us home right now.

00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,545

You just say the word.

00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,463

No way, Rick.

00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,589

This is all part of it.

00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,591

Adventures have conflict.

Deal with it.

00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,843

I smell the blood of...

whoop!

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,845

Holy crap.

00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,930

Oh, boy.

00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,264

He looks pretty

bad down there, Morty.

00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,475

Looks like he's bleeding out.

00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,685

Oh, Jesus! Dale!

00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,604

You sons of bitches!

00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,855

- Oh, man.

- Uh-oh.

00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,190

Hello, 91 1?

00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,994

My husband has been

attacked by tiny people!

00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:23,901

He's dying!

00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,072

Hey, look, we get it.

00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,490

You're little, you're down

on your luck, you think,

00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,950

"Hey, he's a giant.

00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,952

Why don't we break into his

home, rob him, and murder him?"

00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,870

Th-Th... but that's

not how it went down!

00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,664

Oh, well, it's going

down like that.

00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,457

You're both going down like that.

00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,835

Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really

showing me how it's done.

00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,586

ReAl straight forward

and fun.

00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,173

Like, letting go of the

need to be popular is what

00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,675

makes people like you.

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,344

The most important love you

can receive is from yourself.

00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,139

Okay, Jerry, you got to

just choke up on the club!

00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,099

Well, which is it,

choke up or follow-through?!

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,601

Aww, come on, Jerry,

we've been over this.

00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,270

You know you got to do both!

00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,856

This is as frustrating

for us as it is for you.

00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,982

Don't tell me that!

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,316

That just puts pressure on me!

00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,401

Just try to relax.

00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,527

You try to relax!

00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,112

Have you ever tried to relax?!

00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,072

It is a paradox!

00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,533

Ugh, these Meeseeks, huh?

00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,951

Kind of a handful.

00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,078

I can't imagine what you

two must be going through.

00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,205

Our Meeseeks have been

gone for hours, Jerry.

00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,540

You're kidding me.

00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,250

Notice anything different?

00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,918

I-I-I'm sorry. Hours?

00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,795

Dad, mom is a beautiful woman!

00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,963

Look at her!

00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,131

You will lose her!

00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,591

Uhh...

00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,302

Hey, Jerry, you mind if we

get back to the task at hand?

00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,096

Meeseeks don't usually

have to exist this long.

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,015

It's getting weird.

00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,100

Order in the court!

00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,810

Before the jury

reaches its verdict,

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:44,231

I just want to say that I

consider you both very guilty.

00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,399

Oh, great adventure, buddy.

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,859

Rick and Morty

go to giant prison.

00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,485

You know, if somebody

drops the soap,

00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,821

it's gonna land on our heads

and crush our spines, Morty.

00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,574

You know, i-i-i-it'll be really

easy to rape us after that.

00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,783

We're gonna be okay, Rick.

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,910

How?

00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,244

They took my portal gun.

00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,769

This is an open-and-shut case,

Morty.

00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,372

You know, w-w-w-what do you

think's gonna happen,

00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,458

some magical angel's

gonna show up and then...

00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,626

Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!

00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,461

I smell the violation

of civil liberties!

00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,005

Your honor, I'm from a

tiny-persons advocacy group

00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,133

and I have here in my

hand a motion to dismiss.

00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,538

These little men were never read

their giant rights and are

00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,513

therefore Free-fi to Fo-home.

00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,224

W-what the hell is

he talking about?

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,600

They're free to go,

is what I meant.

00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,728

I-I-I'm deconstructing

our... our... our thing we say.

00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,647

For giants. Nobody got that?

00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,940

Whatever.

00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,384

Oh, man, what did

I tell you, Rick?

00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,859

We did it!

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,362

All right, Morty, looks like

the portal gun's still working.

00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,738

You ready to head home?

00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:33,989

Oh, yeah, you'd like that,

wouldn't you, Rick?

00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,074

Well, you know what?

00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,408

We're not bailing out just yet.

00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,118

You know, w-we're gonna go

find some treasure or...

00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,745

or something and...

00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,330

and we're gonna bring

it to those villagers.

00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,748

Morty, cut your losses.

00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,166

This is obviously a wash.

00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,751

Yeah, you were saying

that back...

00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,462

back w-w-w-when we first got

arrested, but here we are,

00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,089

you know, walking down

the courthouse steps.

00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,051

Oh, boy, Morty.

00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,255

Usually, walking down the

courthouse steps is the easy

00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,513

part of the adventure.

00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,764

What do you say, Morty?

00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,100

I say give me a hand, sidekick.

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,147

Everybody shut up!

00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,315

Let me try!

00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:13,237

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,321

I'm going out.

00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,406

Wait. What?

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,074

Well, you're busy.

I'm hungry.

00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,492

I thought I'd go out.

00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,411

Do you want me to be happy or do

you want me to be in prison?

00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,855

Whoa, whoa, where

in the hell is...

00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,956

I'll take you to dinner.

00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,333

Hey, you know what?

00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,543

It's hard being me, too.

00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,086

I'll be right there.

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,880

Look, I've got a marriage

to keep together.

00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,842

At this point, my golf swing is

more your problem than mine.

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,554

I can't take it anymore.

00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,805

I just want to die!

00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,889

We all want to die!

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,974

We're Meeseeks!

00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,559

Why did you even

rope me into this?

00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,102

'Cause he roped me into this!

00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,521

Well, him over there,

he roped me into this!

00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,939

Well, he roped me into this!

00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,024

Well, what about me?

00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,358

He... he roped me into this.

00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,027

Well, that one over

there roped me into this.

00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,528

Well, he roped me into this.

00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:59,533

Yeah, Morty, this is the part

of the story everybody loves...

00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,910

scaling down 650,000

oversized steps.

00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,454

All right, okay,

y-you know,

00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,707

if this was a story, this part

wouldn't be included, stupid.

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,917

Hey, Rick, w-w-w-w-w-what

do you know?

00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,377

Look down there.

00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,129

Looks like some kind of tavern

or something built right into

00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,255

the side of the step.

00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,175

Oh, wow, Rick.

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,968

Now, this is more like it.

00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,512

Look, there's little

staircase-shaped people in here.

00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,431

A-all kinds of crazy characters.

00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,641

This place is great, you know?

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,435

It's whimsical and fun.

00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:30,481

- What are you looking at, motherfucker?

- Easy, Rick.

00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:31,690

Pay them no mind.

00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,567

Those Stair Goblins

can be moody.

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,486

Now, what can I getcha?

00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:42,785

We've got Skarlog Poppies,

Flurlow, Halzingers, Bloogies,

00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,036

Juicy Time Babies.

00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,871

Yeah, yeah, yeah, h-how

about some scotch whiskey?

00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,081

You got any of that around here?

00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,207

Or just a bunch

of nonsense words?

00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,291

Rick.

00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,793

We'll have two Bloogies, please.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,213

And, uh, we were wondering, is

there a faster way two heroes

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:55,589

could get down these stairs?

00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,508

Y'all need to

ride down the stairs?

00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:01,595

My name is Slippely-Slippery Stair.

00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,681

I'll take you down

there for 25 shmeckels.

00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,183

25 shmeckels?

00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,768

I-I-I don't know how much...

I don't know what that is.

00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,061

Is that a lot?

Is it a little?

00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,022

That's exactly how much

I spent on my big fake boobies.

00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,399

Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer.

00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,317

I'll buy those boobies

for 25 shmeckels.

00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,320

It's a tempting offer,

but I'm gonna have to decline.

00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,905

Rats! What a shame.

00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,449

Morty, your adventure's

in a spiral.

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,992

For real, man, time to pull out.

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,517

You keep heckling my adventure,

Rick!

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,537

You know why?

00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,579

Uh, because it's lame?

00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,747

It's because you're petty!

00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,082

You know, h-how many times have

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,043

I had to follow you into some

nonsensical bull crap?

00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,753

I always roll with

the punches, Rick.

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,046

Why can't you?

00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,051

Look, I got to take a leak,

and when I come back,

00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:41,135

i-if you haven't learned how to

lighten up, don't be here!

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,928

Whatever.

00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,222

It's become clear...

look at me...

00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,975

that if we concentrate all our

efforts on Jerry's

00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,894

follow-through,

we will solve this problem.

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,062

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,605

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

Look at me.

00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,108

The only thing that's clear

is that choking up is

00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,526

the one true solution.

00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,319

Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,947

I've been trying to help Jerry

for two days,

00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,117

an eternity in Meeseeks time,

and nothing's worked.

00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,577

I fear the worst.

00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,079

Your failures are your own,

old man.

00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,914

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.

00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,708

I say follow-through!

00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,917

Who's with me?!

00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,379

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

Look at me!

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,505

Kill him!

00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,721

How are you today?

00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,389

I'm Mr. Jelly Bean.

00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,474

Hi, Mr. Jelly Bean.

00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,600

I'm Morty.

00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,124

My grandpa and I

are on an adventure.

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,936

Nice. Is it a fun adventure?

00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,521

I hope so.

00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,398

But I'm starting to get nervous

that maybe it's gone a little

00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,608

too far off the rails.

00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,860

Isn't that what adventures do?

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,195

Hey, y-you know what?

00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,279

You're right.

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,530

Everything's going fine.

00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,116

I just got to relax

and go with the flow.

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,452

Yeah.

00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,537

O-o-okay. Uh. B-bye.

00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,414

Uhh, no, stay.

00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:53,624

Go with the flow.

00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:54,958

Stop.

00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,335

Y-y-you're making me

really uncomfortable.

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,253

Stop fighting me.

00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,089

- Just let this happen.

- Get off of me!

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,634

♪ Sweet home Alabama ♪

00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,551

Whoo!

00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,138

No! Stop! Please!

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,475

Stop being such a fucking tease,

you sweet little twat.

00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,904

No! No!

00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:25,781

Ow!

00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,629

Everybody sto-o-o-p!

00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,964

Look at me!

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,841

My brothers, nothing will be

accomplished by shedding

00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,260

Meeseeks blood.

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,221

None of us can die

until our job is done.

00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,597

The job can't be done!

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,474

We'll never get two

strokes off his game!

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,809

No, we won't.

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,812

But we will get all

strokes off his game.

00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,397

Where's he going with this?

00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,481

What's he mean?

00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,149

When we kill him.

00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:07,030

Jerry, maybe it's time I take

that trip I always talk about.

00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,490

Where would you go?

00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,700

I don't know, man.

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,369

Italy. Greece. Argentina.

00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,872

Countries known

for their sexually aggressive men.

00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,835

Did I tell you how much

I love your new haircut?

00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,462

What the heck?

00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,131

There he is!

00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,594

Run, Jerry!

00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,554

Aah!

00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,599

Come on out, Jerry!

00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,558

Guys, I'll choke up.

00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,809

I'll follow through.

00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,060

I'll do whatever you

tell me to do, okay?

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,771

Oh, we're well past that, Jerry.

00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:43,775

Come on, Rick, quit SK...

stalling.

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,236

What do ya got?

00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,654

Read 'em and weep,

fellas!

00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,572

Aw!

00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,115

Oh, hey, Morty.

00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,950

Listen, I'm really sorry about

all that stuff I said earlier

00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,201

about your adventure.

00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,828

I-I-I'm havin' a good time,

Morty.

00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,912

It's not so bad.

00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:56,997

Let's just go home, okay?

00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:57,873

I'm calling it.

00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,124

The adventure's over.

00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,626

We can't leave now, Morty.

I'm on fire!

00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,750

Look, I want to leave now.

00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,128

You win the bet, okay?

00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,005

Just give me the portal gun

and let's go, please.

00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:10,927

Please, I just want

to go home. Okay.

00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,012

Listen, Morty.

00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,555

I just won a bunch of shmeckels.

00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,099

Why don't we use 25 of them to

pay slippery stair here for a

00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,393

ride back to the village, and

then we'll give the rest of the

00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,718

shmeckels to the villagers, huh?

00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,271

Really?

00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,522

Sure, Morty. Yeah.

00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,024

You know, a good adventure

needs a good ending.

00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,111

Buckle up!

00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,452

Meeseeks are not born into this

world fumbling for meaning,

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,828

Jerry!

00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,332

We are created to serve a

singular purpose for which

00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,584

we will go to any

lengths to fulfill!

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,545

Existence is pain

to a Meeseeks, Jerry.

00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,382

And we will do anything

to alleviate that pain.

00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,466

Just ask...

- Aah!

00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,259

What's your name, ma'am?

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,470

S-Samantha. Please, mister!

00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,222

Give him what he wants!

00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,850

Innocent people are going

to die because of me.

00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,687

Why am I so mediocre?

00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,856

Jerry, turn around.

00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,024

Straighten your back.

00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,109

Bend your knees.

00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:07,984

Bend them.

00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,277

Square your shoulders.

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,738

Take a deep breath.

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,616

I love you.

00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,493

I'm counting to three, Jerry.

00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,719

What the fuck is going on?

00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,055

He's got it!

00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,223

Th-Th-that's a lower

handicap stro-o-ke!

00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,687

Excuse me.

00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,355

I'm a bit of a

stickler Meeseeks.

00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,566

What about your short game?

00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,860

Oh, my god, oh, my god!

00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,738

What about your short game?!

00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,120

Ooh, nice!

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,793

I think we'll take

our food to go.

00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,711

No, you won't.

00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:08,795

The police are coming.

00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,380

You have so many

questions to answer.

00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,673

Fair enough.

00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,097

Thank you, kind sir.

00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,557

Our village is saved!

00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,392

You are both true heroes!

00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,896

Oh!

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,980

Good job, Morty.

00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,565

Looks like you won the bet.

00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,817

Thanks, Rick,

but I don't know if I should.

00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,402

You know, you were

right about the Universe.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,404

It's a crazy and chaotic place.

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,281

Well, you know, maybe that's

why it could use a little

00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,285

cleaning up every

now and then, you know.

00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,327

This one's wrapped up neat

and clean because we did it

00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,745

Morty style.

00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:45,165

Oh! Heroes, we would like to

introduce you to our beloved

00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,793

King so that he may

thank you personally.

00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,836

Uh, no, i-it's cool.

00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,421

Rick. Portal. Hurry.

00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,721

Aah!

00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,603

So...

00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,647

you still thinking

about taking that trip?

00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,315

Jerry, look.

00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,858

We don't have a

perfect marriage,

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,443

but I'm not going anywhere.

00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,945

When we were in that freezer,

00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,447

I realized the Meeseeks are like

the guys I went to High School with...

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:21,034

willing to say anything

to "complete their task."

00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,661

Was I one of those guys?

00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,872

The difference is you didn't

disappear afterwards.

00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,165

Well...

00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,542

I got you pregnant.

00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,460

Yeah...

00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,212

What the hell happened

to this place?

00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,839

Uh, your Meeseeks Box happened.

00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,174

They went crazy when they

couldn't take two strokes off

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,259

Jerry's golf game.

00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,552

He felt terrible.

00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,470

Hey, it's not my fault

that Jerry's an idiot.

00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,805

Dad!

00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,598

Is there anything you can

do to clean this place up?

00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,600

Well, you know, I do

have a fleeseeks box.

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,269

No. No more boxes.

00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,478

What?

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,855

It just has a mop and

some floor wax in it.

00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,898

Wubba lubba dub dubs!

00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,317

Yeah! That's my new thing!

00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,318

I'm kind of like

what's his name...

00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,736

Ar-Arsenio.

00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,905

Isn't that... it's what Arsenio

used to say on his show.

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,782

Wobble gobba lop bops!

Right?

00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,741

See you next week, everybody.

00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,826

I don't get it.

00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,320

Sir, I think you're going

to want to see this.

00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:42,157

We found it inside a lockbox

inside King Jelly Bean's closet.

00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,409

We have to tell the people.

00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,870

Wait.

00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,288

Destroy it.

00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,839

Our people will get more from

the idea he represented than

00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,883

from the Jelly Bean

he actually was.

00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,428

Did you get any of that?

00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,347

It's a good-a show!

00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,744

Run!

00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,580

[ gasps ]

00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,207

Morty, do it!

Hit the button now!

00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,291

I can't do it, Rick!

00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,626

They're my parents and sister!

00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,086

Morty, I already told you...

it's not your family!

00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,046

They're clones from

an alternate reality,

00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,715

possessed by demonic alien

spirits from another

00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:49,882

dimension's future!

00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,342

Do you need a mnemonic

device or something?

00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,635

Just hit the button, already!

00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,053

[ growling ]

00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,098

Morty, please,

I love you, sweetheart.

00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,474

Oh!

00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,767

[ grunts ]

00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,603

[ clones scream ]

00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,814

[ moans ]

00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,482

Good work, Morty.

00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,695

You know, Th-Th-these demonic

alien spirits are really valuable.

00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:11,988

You okay, Morty?

00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,031

I told you not to

trust that tuna.

00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,491

I just killed my family!

00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,696

I don't care what they were.

00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,827

I don't know, Morty.

00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,287

Some people'd pay top dollar

for that kind of breakthrough.

00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,371

You know what, Rick?

00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,497

That's it!

00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,124

I'm done with these

insane adventures!

00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,376

That was really traumatizing!

I quit! I'm out!

00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,961

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,880

Come on, Morty, don't...

don't... don't be like that.

00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,548

The Universe is a crazy,

chaotic place.

00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,924

You're the one that's

crazy and chaotic!

00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,218

Adventures are supposed

to be simple and fun.

00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,303

Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah.

00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,424

Yeah, that... that... that's

00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:38,389

real easy to say from the

sidekick position.

00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,433

But... but, uh, how about

next time you be in charge,

00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,518

and then we'll talk about

how simple and fun it is?

00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,811

Seriously, Rick?

00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,938

Y-y-you'll... you'll

let me call the shots?

00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,231

Okay, yeah, fine.

00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,756

But let's make it interesting,

Morty.

00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,861

I-I-I-If your adventure sucks

and we bail halfway through it,

00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,405

you lose the right to bitch

about all future adventures.

00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,282

Plus, you have to do

my laundry for a month.

00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,575

Okay, all right, tough guy!

00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,826

But if my adventure's good,

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,328

I get to be in charge of

every third adventure!

00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,412

Every 10th.

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,413

Deal. All right.

00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:03,581

W-well, come on,

let's get going.

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,583

Dad, the dishwasher's

doing that thing again.

00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,501

Washing dishes?

00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,418

No. The opposite.

00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,795

Can you fix it?

00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,463

Grandpa Rick, can you help me

with my science homework?

00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,464

Yeah... j-just don't do it.

00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,840

Grandpa!

00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,802

Hey, Rick, you got some kind of

hand-shaped device that can open

00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:16,928

this mayonnaise jar?

00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,179

Wow. Hat trick.

00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,305

All right, Morty,

let's put a pin in this.

00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,598

I got to help your

pathetic family.

00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,682

Oh, that sounds like

something a chicken would say.

00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,519

Bawk, bawk, bawk,

bawk, bawk, bawk.

00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:25,686

Oh, Morty, you done

did it this time.

00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,146

It's on.

00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,311

I can't wait to watch your

adventure lay a huge fart.

00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,025

As for you dingdongs...

00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,110

This is a Meeseeks Box.

00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,237

Let me show you how it works.

00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,196

You press this.

00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,989

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,074

Look at me!

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,450

You make a request.

00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,455

Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's

stupid mayonnaise jar.

00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:42,954

Yes, siree!

00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,497

The Meeseeks fulfills

the request.

00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,873

All done!

00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,041

Wow!

00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,501

And then it stops existing.

00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,086

Oh, my God, he exploded!

00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,254

Trust me, they're fine with it.

00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,505

Knock yourselves out...

00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,298

Just [burps] keep

your requests simple.

00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,258

They're not g[burps]ods.

00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,467

All right!

00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,760

G-get out of here now!

Everybody out of here!

00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,303

I got a bet to win!

00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,014

So many possibilities.

00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,307

My mind is racing.

00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:04,552

If we're gonna use this thing,

00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:05,768

which I'm not even

sure we should,

00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,853

we need to keep it simp...

00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,229

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,355

I want to be popular at school!

00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,731

Ooh, okay!

00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,275

Summer, what did I just...

00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,318

Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

Look at me!

00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,820

I-I-I want... I want to

be a more complete woman!

00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:16,737

Beth!

00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,823

Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am!

00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,367

You guys are doing it wrong.

00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,370

He said "Simple."

00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,789

Hey, there.

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,082

[ clears throat ]

00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,042

Mr. Meeseeks,

I would like to take

00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,794

two strokes off my golf game.

00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,548

Ooh, yeah! Can do!

00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,841

Nailed it.

00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,135

God, Morty, what a boring

start to an adventure.

00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,512

I don't... w-w-w-why didn't we

just go to Kentucky?

00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,806

Rick, this is a fantasy-type

world with creatures

00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,516

and all sorts of fantasy things.

00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,934

W-we're going on a quest, okay?

00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,353

RICK:

Can't wait.

00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,105

Ahem. Excuse me!

00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,901

We are two humble heroes

in search of adventure!

00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,193

Oh, my God, so embarrassing.

00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,862

At last! Two heroes!

00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,363

You must help us!

00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:02,700

This village is terribly poor,

yet the giant that lives in the

00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,744

clouds above has

untold treasures!

00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,203

You know what?

00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,790

I-I-I accept your call to

adventure, good sir, kind sir.

00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,125

Come on, Rick.

00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,460

There's a giant in the clouds!

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,419

Yeah.

00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,921

[ burps ] Beginner's luck.

00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,758

MEESEEKS: Ln conclusion, a friendship

with Summer Smith is the most

00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:22,386

valuable and enriching

experience of your young lives.

00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,471

[ applause ]

00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,722

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,057

Look at me!

00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:26,974

Thank you!

00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,434

Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it?

00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,727

Yeah. Gene Vagina.

00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,813

Listen, I'm in a bit of custody

thing with my ex and was wondering...

00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,658

No, I'll G... I'll get

your info from Summer.

00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,026

I got pregnant at 17.

00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,028

I mean, I still put myself

through Veterinary School.

00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:44,742

Yes, I'm successful,

but what if I hadn't...

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:48,329

I'm just saying,

somewhere along the way,

00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,374

I lost that wide-eyed

girl from Muskegon.

00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,459

She's still there, Beth.

00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,835

Well, her waistline isn't.

00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,671

[ laughs ]

00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,382

Beth, having a family

doesn't mean that you

00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,717

stop being an individual.

00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,760

You know the best thing you can

00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,929

do for people that

depend on you?

00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:09,141

Be honest with them, even if

it means setting them free.

00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,353

You're saying I

should leave Jerry.

00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:16,941

I can't believe I'm finally

having this conversation.

00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,404

[ romantic music plays ]

00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,117

More wine?

00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,034

[ clears throat ]

00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,494

I think I've had enough.

00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,579

[ grunts ]

00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,210

Remember to square your

shoulders, Jerry.

00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,004

Yeah, yeah. I got it.

00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,508

[ grunts ]

00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,634

That's okay.

00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,469

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!

00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,388

Try again and

keep your head down.

00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,639

Okay, well, which is it?

00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,099

Square my shoulders

or keep my head down?

00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,642

Well, it's both.

00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:54,395

But most importantly,

you got to relax.

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,599

You know what, Mr. Meeseeks?

00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,564

I don't think this is working.

00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,982

I give up.

00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,401

I'm sorry, Jerry,

but it doesn't work like that.

00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,777

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,655

I have to fulfill my

purpose so I can go away.

00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,823

Look at me.

00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,867

Well, make yourself comfortable,

because I suck.

00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,828

No, Jerry, I'm the one who

sucks!

00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,663

Let me try something.

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:13,956

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,041

Look at me!

00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,042

Hi, Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:16,959

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.

00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,461

Hi!

00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,713

Can you help me get two strokes

off of Jerry's golf swing?

00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,214

Can do!

00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,716

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,509

Is he keeping his

shoulders squared?

00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,303

Ooh, he's trying!

00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,514

[ medieval music playing ]

00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,100

[ both grunt ]

00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,435

All right, Morty.

00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,437

W-w-we're in your

stupid giant's castle.

00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,521

W-what do we do next?

00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,647

Would you just relax, Rick?

00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,191

All we got to do is find

the treasure room, okay?

00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,692

It's nice and simple.

00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,444

You know, I-I-I'm sorry

everything's going so

00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,904

smoothly and adventurously.

00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,490

[ footsteps booming ]

00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,449

Uh-oh, Morty.

00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,773

Startin' to get a little hairy.

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,945

What do you want to do, boss?

00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:51,786

Come on, hurry.

00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:52,912

Behind this cookie jar.

00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,582

Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!

00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,125

Just give up, Morty.

00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,376

J-J-J... this is game over.

00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,586

I'll take us home right now.

00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,545

You just say the word.

00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,463

No way, Rick.

00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,589

This is all part of it.

00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,591

Adventures have conflict.

Deal with it.

00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,843

I smell the blood of...

whoop!

00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:08,928

[ crunch ]

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,845

- [ groaning ]

- Holy crap.

00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,930

Oh, boy.

00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,264

He looks pretty

bad down there, Morty.

00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,475

Looks like he's bleeding out.

00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,685

Oh, Jesus! Dale!

00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,604

You sons of bitches!

00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,855

- Oh, man.

- Uh-oh.

00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,190

[ speed-dialing ]

Hello, 91 1?

00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,994

My husband has been

attacked by tiny people!

00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:23,901

He's dying!

00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,362

[ camera shutter clicking ]

00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,072

Hey, look, we get it.

00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,490

You're little, you're down

on your luck, you think,

00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,950

"Hey, he's a giant.

00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,952

Why don't we break into his

home, rob him, and murder him?"

00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,870

Th-Th... but that's

not how it went down!

00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,664

Oh, well, it's going

down like that.

00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,457

You're both going down like that.

00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,835

Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really

showing me how it's done.

00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,586

Re[burps]Al straight forward

and fun.

00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,173

Like, letting go of the

need to be popular is what

00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,675

makes people like you.

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,344

The most important love you

can receive is from yourself.

00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,139

Okay, Jerry, you got to

just choke up on the club!

00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,099

Well, which is it,

choke up or follow-through?!

00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,601

Aww, come on, Jerry,

we've been over this.

00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,270

You know you got to do both!

00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,856

This is as frustrating

for us as it is for you.

00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,982

Don't tell me that!

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,316

That just puts pressure on me!

00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,401

Just try to relax.

00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,527

You try to relax!

00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,112

Have you ever tried to relax?!

00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,072

It is a paradox!

00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,533

Ugh, these Meeseeks, huh?

00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,951

Kind of a handful.

00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,078

I can't imagine what you

two must be going through.

00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,205

Our Meeseeks have been

gone for hours, Jerry.

00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,540

You're kidding me.

00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,250

Notice anything different?

00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,918

I-I-I'm sorry. Hours?

00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,795

Dad, mom is a beautiful woman!

00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,963

Look at her!

00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,131

You will lose her!

00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,591

Uhh...

00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,302

Hey, Jerry, you mind if we

get back to the task at hand?

00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,096

Meeseeks don't usually

have to exist this long.

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,015

It's getting weird.

00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,100

Order in the court!

00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,810

Before the jury

reaches its verdict,

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:44,231

I just want to say that I

consider you both very guilty.

00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,399

Oh, great adventure, buddy.

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,859

Rick and Morty

go to giant prison.

00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,485

You know, if somebody

drops the soap,

00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,821

it's gonna land on our heads

and crush our spines, Morty.

00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,574

You know, i-i-i-it'll be really

easy to rape us after that.

00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,783

We're gonna be okay, Rick.

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,910

How?

00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,244

They took my portal gun.

00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,769

This is an open-and-shut case,

Morty.

00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,372

You know, w-w-w-what do you

think's gonna happen,

00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,458

some magical angel's

gonna show up and then...

00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,626

Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!

00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,461

I smell the violation

of civil liberties!

00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,005

Your honor, I'm from a

tiny-persons advocacy group

00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,133

and I have here in my

hand a motion to dismiss.

00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,538

These little men were never read

their giant rights and are

00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,513

therefore Free-fi to Fo-home.

00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,224

W-what the hell is

he talking about?

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,600

They're free to go,

is what I meant.

00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,728

I-I-I'm deconstructing

our... our... our thing we say.

00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,647

For giants. Nobody got that?

00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,940

Whatever.

00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,384

Oh, man, what did

I tell you, Rick?

00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,859

We did it!

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,362

All right, Morty, looks like

the portal gun's still working.

00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,738

You ready to head home?

00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:33,989

Oh, yeah, you'd like that,

wouldn't you, Rick?

00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,074

Well, you know what?

00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,408

We're not bailing out just yet.

00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,118

You know, w-we're gonna go

find some treasure or...

00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,745

or something and...

00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,330

and we're gonna bring

it to those villagers.

00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,748

Morty, cut your losses.

00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,166

This is obviously a wash.

00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,751

Yeah, you were saying

that back...

00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,462

back w-w-w-when we first got

arrested, but here we are,

00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,089

you know, walking down

the courthouse steps.

00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,633

[ eagle screeches ]

00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,051

Oh, boy, Morty.

00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,255

Usually, walking down the

courthouse steps is the easy

00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,513

part of the adventure.

00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,764

What do you say, Morty?

00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,100

I say give me a hand, sidekick.

00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,685

[ sighs ]

00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,062

[ Meeseeks yelling ]

00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,147

Everybody shut up!

00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,315

Let me try!

00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,317

[ grunts ]

00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:13,237

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,321

I'm going out.

00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,406

Wait. What?

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,074

Well, you're busy.

I'm hungry.

00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,492

I thought I'd go out.

00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,411

Do you want me to be happy or do

you want me to be in prison?

00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,855

Whoa, whoa, where

in the hell is...

00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,956

I'll take you to dinner.

00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,040

[ Meeseeks yell ]

00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,333

Hey, you know what?

00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,543

It's hard being me, too.

00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,086

I'll be right there.

[ sighs ]

00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,337

[ door opens, closes ]

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,880

Look, I've got a marriage

to keep together.

00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,842

At this point, my golf swing is

more your problem than mine.

00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,052

[ door opens, closes ]

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,554

I can't take it anymore.

00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,805

I just want to die!

00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,889

We all want to die!

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,974

We're Meeseeks!

00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,559

Why did you even

rope me into this?

00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,102

'Cause he roped me into this!

00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,521

Well, him over there,

he roped me into this!

00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,939

Well, he roped me into this!

00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,024

Well, what about me?

00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,358

He... he roped me into this.

00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,027

Well, that one over

there roped me into this.

00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,528

Well, he roped me into this.

00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,155

[ both grunting ]

00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:59,533

Yeah, Morty, this is the part

of the story everybody loves...

00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,910

scaling down 650,000

oversized steps.

00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,454

All right, okay,

y-you know,

00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,707

if this was a story, this part

wouldn't be included, stupid.

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,917

Hey, Rick, w-w-w-w-w-what

do you know?

00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,377

Look down there.

00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,129

Looks like some kind of tavern

or something built right into

00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,255

the side of the step.

00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,840

[ indistinct conversations ]

00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,175

Oh, wow, Rick.

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,968

Now, this is more like it.

00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,512

Look, there's little

staircase-shaped people in here.

00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,431

A-all kinds of crazy characters.

00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,641

This place is great, you know?

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,435

It's whimsical and fun.

00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:30,481

- What are you looking at, motherfucker?

- Easy, Rick.

00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:31,690

Pay them no mind.

00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,567

Those Stair Goblins

can be moody.

00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,486

Now, what can I getcha?

00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:42,785

We've got Skarlog Poppies,

Flurlow, Halzingers, Bloogies,

00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,036

Juicy Time Babies.

00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,871

Yeah, yeah, yeah, h-how

about some scotch whiskey?

00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,081

You got any of that around here?

00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,207

Or just a bunch

of nonsense words?

00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,291

Rick.

00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,793

We'll have two Bloogies, please.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,213

And, uh, we were wondering, is

there a faster way two heroes

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:55,589

could get down these stairs?

00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,508

Y'all need to

ride down the stairs?

00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:01,595

My name is Slippely-Slippery Stair.

00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,681

I'll take you down

there for 25 shmeckels.

00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,183

25 shmeckels?

00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,768

I-I-I don't know how much...

I don't know what that is.

00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,061

Is that a lot?

Is it a little?

00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,022

That's exactly how much

I spent on my big fake boobies.

00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,399

Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer.

00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,317

I'll buy those boobies

for 25 shmeckels.

00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,320

It's a tempting offer,

but I'm gonna have to decline.

00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,905

Rats! What a shame.

00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,449

Morty, your adventure's

in a spiral.

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,992

For real, man, time to pull out.

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,517

You keep heckling my adventure,

Rick!

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,537

You know why?

00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,579

Uh, because it's lame?

00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,747

It's because you're petty!

00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,082

You know, h-how many times have

00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,043

I had to follow you into some

nonsensical bull crap?

00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,753

I always roll with

the punches, Rick.

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,046

Why can't you?

00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,051

Look, I got to take a leak,

and when I come back,

00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:41,135

i-if you haven't learned how to

lighten up, don't be here!

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,928

Whatever.

00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,222

It's become clear...

look at me...

00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,975

that if we concentrate all our

efforts on Jerry's

00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,894

follow-through,

we will solve this problem.

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,062

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,605

I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

Look at me.

00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,108

The only thing that's clear

is that choking up is

00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,526

the one true solution.

00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,319

Look at me. I'm Mr. Meeseeks.

00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,947

I've been trying to help Jerry

for two days,

00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,117

an eternity in Meeseeks time,

and nothing's worked.

00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,577

I fear the worst.

00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,079

Your failures are your own,

old man.

00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,914

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me.

00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,708

I say follow-through!

00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,917

Who's with me?!

00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,502

[ meeseeks shout

"Follow-through" ]

00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,379

I'm Mr. Meeseeks!

Look at me!

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,505

Kill him!

00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,465

[ hisses ]

00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,800

[ Meeseeks shouting ]

00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,721

How are you today?

00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,389

I'm Mr. Jelly Bean.

00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,474

Hi, Mr. Jelly Bean.

00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,600

I'm Morty.

00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,124

My grandpa and I

are on an adventure.

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,936

Nice. Is it a fun adventure?

00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,521

I hope so.

00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,398

But I'm starting to get nervous

that maybe it's gone a little

00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,608

too far off the rails.

00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,860

[ laughs ]

Isn't that what adventures do?

00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,195

Hey, y-you know what?

00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,279

You're right.

00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,530

Everything's going fine.

00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,116

I just got to relax

and go with the flow.

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,452

Yeah.

00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,537

O-o-okay. Uh. B-bye.

00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,414

Uhh, no, stay.

00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:53,624

Go with the flow.

00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:54,958

Stop.

00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,335

Y-y-you're making me

really uncomfortable.

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,253

[ grunts ] Stop fighting me.

00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,379

[ gasping ]

00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,089

- Just let this happen.

- Get off of me!

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,634

♪ Sweet home Alabama ♪

00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,551

Whoo!

00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,886

[ gasping ]

00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,138

No! Stop! Please!

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,475

Stop being such a fucking tease,

you sweet little twat.

00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,937

[ Meeseeks yelling ]

00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,904

No! No!

00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:24,988

[ grunts ]

00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:25,781

Ow!

00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,659

[ grunting ]

00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,665

[ panting ]

00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,293

[ Meeseeks yelling ]

00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,629

Everybody sto-o-o-p!

00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,964

Look at me!

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,841

My brothers, nothing will be

accomplished by shedding

00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,260

Meeseeks blood.

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,221

None of us can die

until our job is done.

00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,597

The job can't be done!

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,474

We'll never get two

strokes off his game!

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,809

No, we won't.

00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,812

But we will get all

strokes off his game.

00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,397

Where's he going with this?

00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,481

What's he mean?

00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,149

When we kill him.

00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,276

[ Meeseeks cheer ]

00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:07,030

BETH: Jerry, maybe it's time I take

that trip I always talk about.

00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,490

Where would you go?

00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,700

I don't know, man.

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,369

Italy. Greece. Argentina.

00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,872

[ as Carnac ] Countries known

for their sexually aggressive men.

00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,624

[ chuckles ]

00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,835

[ normal voice ] Did I tell you how much

I love your new haircut?

00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,211

[ rumbling ]

00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,462

What the heck?

00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,131

There he is!

00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,592

[ customers gasp,

Meeseeks shouting ]

00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:27,509

[ gunshot ]

00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,594

Run, Jerry!

00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,554

Aah!

[ panting ]

00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,599

Come on out, Jerry!

00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,558

Guys, I'll choke up.

00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,809

I'll follow through.

00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,060

I'll do whatever you

tell me to do, okay?

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,771

Oh, we're well past that, Jerry.

00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:43,775

Come on, Rick, quit SK...

stalling.

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,236

What do ya got?

00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,654

Read 'em and we[burps]ep,

fellas!

00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,572

ALL:

Aw!

00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,115

Oh, hey, Morty.

00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,950

Listen, I'm really sorry about

all that stuff I said earlier

00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,201

about your adventure.

00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,828

I-I-I'm havin' a good time,

Morty.

00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,912

It's not so bad.

00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:56,997

Let's just go home, okay?

00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:57,873

I'm calling it.

00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,124

The adventure's over.

00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,626

We can't leave now, Morty.

I'm on fire!

00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,750

Look, I want to leave now.

00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,128

You win the bet, okay?

00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,005

Just give me the portal gun

and let's go, please.

00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,506

[ groans ]

00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:10,927

Please, I just want

to go home. Okay.

00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,012

Listen, Morty.

00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,555

I just won a bunch of shmeckels.

00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,099

Why don't we use 25 of them to

pay slippery stair here for a

00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,393

ride back to the village, and

then we'll give the rest of the

00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,718

shmeckels to the villagers, huh?

00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,271

Really?

00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,522

Sure, Morty. Yeah.

00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,024

You know, a good adventure

needs a good ending.

00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,401

[ grunts ]

00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,111

[ coughs ] Buckle up!

00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,452

Meeseeks are not born into this

world fumbling for meaning,

00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,828

Jerry!

00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,332

We are created to serve a

singular purpose for which

00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,584

we will go to any

lengths to fulfill!

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,545

Existence is pain

to a Meeseeks, Jerry.

00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,382

And we will do anything

to alleviate that pain.

00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,466

Just ask...

- Aah!

00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,259

What's your name, ma'am?

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,470

S-Samantha. Please, mister!

00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,222

Give him what he wants!

00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,850

Innocent people are going

to die because of me.

00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,687

Why am I so mediocre?

00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,480

[ crash! ]

00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,856

Jerry, turn around.

00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,024

Straighten your back.

00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,109

Bend your knees.

00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:07,984

Bend them.

00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,277

Square your shoulders.

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,738

Take a deep breath.

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,616

I love you.

00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,493

I'm counting to three, Jerry.

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,370

[ door bangs ]

00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,831

[ heroic music playing ]

00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:29,756

[ clink ]

00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,383

[ Meeseeks "ooh" ]

00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,719

What the fuck is going on?

00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,095

[ Meeseeks cheer ]

00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,055

He's got it!

00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,223

Th-Th-that's a lower

handicap stro-o-ke!

00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,518

[ Meeseeks cheer ]

00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,687

Excuse me.

00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,355

I'm a bit of a

stickler Meeseeks.

00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,566

What about your short game?

00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,860

Oh, my god, oh, my god!

00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,738

[ crying ]

What about your short game?!

00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:58,618

[ plink ]

00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,120

Ooh, nice!

00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,875

[ both moan ]

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,793

I think we'll take

our food to go.

00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,711

No, you won't.

00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:08,795

The police are coming.

00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,380

You have so many

questions to answer.

00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,673

Fair enough.

00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,135

[ villagers cheer ]

00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,721

[ chicken squawks ]

00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,097

Thank you, kind sir.

00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,557

Our village is saved!

00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,392

You are both true heroes!

00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,896

Oh!

[ laughs ]

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,980

Good job, Morty.

00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,565

Looks like you won the bet.

00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,817

Thanks, Rick,

but I don't know if I should.

00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,402

You know, you were

right about the Universe.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,404

It's a crazy and chaotic place.

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,281

Well, you know, maybe that's

why it could use a little

00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,285

cleaning up [burps] every

now and then, you know.

00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,327

This one's wrapped up neat

and clean because we did it

00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,745

Morty style.

00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:45,165

Oh! Heroes, we would like to

introduce you to our beloved

00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,793

King so that he may

thank you personally.

00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,836

Uh, no, i-it's cool.

00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,421

Rick. Portal. Hurry.

00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,721

Aah!

00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,890

[ villagers scream ]

00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,603

So...

00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,647

you still thinking

about taking that trip?

00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,315

[ sighs ] Jerry, look.

00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,858

We don't have a

perfect marriage,

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,443

but I'm not going anywhere.

00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,945

When we were in that freezer,

00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,447

I realized the Meeseeks are like

the guys I went to High School with...

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:21,034

willing to say anything

to "complete their task."

00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,661

Was I one of those guys?

00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,872

The difference is you didn't

disappear afterwards.

00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,165

Well...

00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,542

I got you pregnant.

00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,460

Yeah...

00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,212

What the hell happened

to this place?

00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,839

Uh, your Meeseeks Box happened.

00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,174

They went crazy when they

couldn't take two strokes off

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,259

Jerry's golf game.

00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,552

He felt terrible.

00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,470

Hey, it's not my fault

that Jerry's an idiot.

00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,805

Dad!

00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,598

Is there anything you can

do to clean this place up?

00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,600

Well, you know, I do

have a fleeseeks box.

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,269

No. No more boxes.

00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,478

What?

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,855

It just has a mop and

some floor wax in it.

00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,898

Wubba lubba dub dubs!

00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,149

[ laughter ]

00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,317

Yeah! That's my new thing!

00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,318

I'm kind of like

what's his name...

00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,736

Ar-Arsenio.

00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,905

Isn't that... it's what Arsenio

used to say on his show.

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,782

Wobble gobba lop bops!

Right?

00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,741

See you next week, everybody.

00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,826

I don't get it.

00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,734

[ rapid footsteps ] [ panting ]

00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,320

Sir, I think you're going

to want to see this.

00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:42,157

We found it inside a lockbox

inside King Jelly Bean's closet.

00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,408

[ retches ]

00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,409

We have to tell the people.

00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,870

Wait.

00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,288

Destroy it.

00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,839

Our people will get more from

the idea he represented than

00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,883

from the Jelly Bean

he actually was.

00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,428

Did you get any of that?

00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,347

It's a good-a show!