М. Найт Шьямал-Инопланетяне!

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Hey, Rick.

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Boy, sure is really especially

beautiful out there today, huh?

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Oh, yes, Morty.

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L-it's almost unbelievable,

isn't it?

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Yeah, you know?

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There's something about the air

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and just the way the sunshine is.

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Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah.

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Sure. B-brilliant. Very convincing.

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Wha... convincing?

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Oh. Responsive, too.

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In real time. I love it.

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Uhh... okay.

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I'm going to work.

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Morty, good morning.

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Dad, good morning.

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I am going to work. Goodbye.

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What's with mom?

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Oh, what's with mom?

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So, you're saying that

she's acting weird?

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How sophisticated.

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Careful, guys.

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You're gonna burn out

the CPU with this one.

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Okay, you know what, Rick?

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You're acting weird, too.

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Whatever,

quote-unquote "Morty."

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All right, well...

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I'll see you after school.

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Ow! Oof! Ugh!

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Damn it!

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I'm all right. I'm okay.

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All right, who can tell

me what 5 x 9 is?

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Morty?

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Uh, me?

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What is 5 x 9?

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Umm... you know,

it's uhh ...at least 40.

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Morty, that's exactly correct!

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5 x 9 is at least 40!

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Come up here.

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Whoo! Way to go, Morty!

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Everybody,

this is the best student.

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I want you to be

the teacher today.

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Teach us, Morty!

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Interesting.

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W-w-w-what do you

want me to teach you?

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Ooh, ooh!

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How do you make

concentrated dark matter?

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Oh, that's a good question.

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Concentrated huh?

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Concentrated dark matter...

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the fuel for accelerated

space travel.

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Now, do you know how to make it?

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Umm...

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Come on, Morty.

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Isn't your grandpa,

like, a scientist?

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Oh, yeah, but, you know,

he told me that I shouldn't go

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around spouting off about, you

know, his science and stuff.

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I bet you've seen him make

concentrated dark matter a lot.

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You know, if you tell us,

I'll be your girlfriend.

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Uh, y-you will?

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Seems like a rare opportunity,

Morty.

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Morty, u-uh, come on.

There's a family emergency.

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Stop right there!

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If he leaves,

I'm giving him an "F."

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He doesn't care.

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Aw, man!

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Rick, I have to go back!

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I think I was about

to get married!

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Ugh! Take a shower with me,

Morty.

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What?!

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Listen to me, Morty.

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Get your clothes off and

get in the shower right now.

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Y-y-y-you got to

trust me, Morty.

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Ugh!

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I'm gonna get an

"F" in class, Rick.

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Morty, that's not class.

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T-T-T-That wasn't your teacher.

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This isn't your school.

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This entire world

is not the world.

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We're inside a huge simulation

chamber on an alien spaceship.

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Wait a minute.

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W-what are you talking about?

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It's all fake Morty...

all of it.

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Nanobotic renderings, a bunch

of crazy fake nonsense, Morty.

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I couldn't say so until

we got in the shower.

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They won't monitor us in here.

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Monitor us?! W-who?!

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Zigerion scammers, Morty...

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the Galaxy's most ambitious,

least successful con artists.

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You know, it's lucky for

us they're also really

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uncomfortable with nudity.

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Aw, come on, Rick.

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If everyone's just

gonna be insane today,

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at least let me be

insane with Jessica.

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I can't let

you do that, Morty.

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Give it to me!

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No!

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You give it to me!

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G-g-give it! No, Rick!

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Oh, God, Sir!

They're still naked!

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Ugh.

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Well, check every five Quintons

and tell me when they're not.

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I think we should

make Kevin look, sir.

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What?! No!

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W-w-why would you even say that?

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Uh, sir, we have

a situation over here.

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If there's a wiener on that

monitor,

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I swear to god, Stu...

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something is drawing a

lot of processing power.

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Oh, wait. No wonder.

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There's another real

human in the simulator.

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Okay, Jerry...

big pitch meeting.

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Make-or-break time.

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You can do this.

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How did this happen?!

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Where's the

Abductions Department?

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Hey, man, Abductions just

follows the acquisition order.

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Don't put this on Acquisitions!

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We only acquire humans that

haven't been simulated!

00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,708

Well, simulations doesn't

simulate anybody that's been

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abducted,

so oh, I see!

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Oh, oh!

It was no one's fault.

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Oh, okay.

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I'm sorry.

Well, then, problem solved.

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Oh, wait... no.

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There's still another

human in here!

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Who is he?

00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,970

Rick's son-in-law,

Jerry Smith.

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So far, he hasn't noticed

he's in a simulation.

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Well, cap his sector at 5%

processing,

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keep his settings on auto, and

we'll deal with him later.

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Rick Sanchez is the target.

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Got to relax.

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It's just a pitch.

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Got to relax.

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This is Earth radio.

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And now, here's... human music.

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Hmm. Human music.

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I like it.

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Rick!

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Uhp, uhp, uhp!

00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:09,558

Morty, keep your hands

off your ding-dong!

00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,123

It's the only way

we can speak freely.

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Look around you, Morty.

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Do you really think

this world is real?

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You'd have to be an idiot not to

notice all the sloppy details.

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Look... that guy's putting

a bun between two hot dogs.

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I don't know, Rick.

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I mean, I've seen people

do that before.

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Well, look at that old lady.

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She's... she's walking

a cat on a leash.

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Uh, Mrs. Spencer does

that all the time, Rick.

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Look, I-I-l don't want to

hear about Mrs. Spencer, Morty!

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She's an idiot!

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All right, all right, there.

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W-what about that, Morty?

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Okay, okay, you got me on that one.

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Oh, really, Morty?

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Are you sure you haven't

seen that somewhere

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in real life before?

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No, no.

I haven't seen that.

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I mean, why would a

pop tart want to live inside

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a toaster, Rick?

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I mean, that would be, like, the

scariest place for them to live.

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You know what I mean?

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You're missing the point, Morty.

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Why would he drive a smaller

toaster with wheels?

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,662

I mean, does your car look like

a smaller version of your house?

00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:53,769

No.

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So, why are they doing this?

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W-what do they want?

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Well, that would be

obvious to you, Morty,

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if you'd been paying attention.

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We got the President of the

United States in here!

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We need 10cc of concentrated

dark matter, stat, or he'll die!

00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,950

Concentrated dark matter?

00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,660

They were asking

about that in class.

00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,412

Yeah, it's a special fuel I

invented to travel through

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space faster than anybody else.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,374

These Zigerions are always

trying to scam me out of my secrets,

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but they made a big

mistake this time, Morty.

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They dragged you into this.

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Now they're gonna pay!

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What do you...

w-w-what are we gonna do?

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We'll scam the scammers, Morty.

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And we're gonna take them for

everything they've got.

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National Apple Farmers of America,

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welcome to our Ad Agency.

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I'm Jerry Smith.

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All right.

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I'll just... get to the pitch.

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Um, simple question, gentlemen,

what are apples?

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Excuse me.

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Ahh.

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What are apples?

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Apples are food.

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And... when do we need food?

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When we're hungry.

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With that, I give

you your new slogan!

00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,048

Well, say something!

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Do you like it?

00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,258

Yes.

00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,343

You do?

00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,385

Yes.

00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,012

So... I sold it?

00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,014

I sold the idea?

00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099

Yes.

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Oh, my god! Thank you!

00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,727

Thank you.

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You're welcome.

00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,234

Hey!

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I just sold my first pitch!

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Slow down! Lookin' good.

00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,531

My man!

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Hello.

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Guess who just sold

the apples campaign.

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Who just sold

the apples campaign?

00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,915

Me!

00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,626

I guess it wasn't a rip-off

of "Got milk? " after all.

00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,503

Guess someone was wrong.

00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,671

Yes.

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Well, all is forgiven,

because right now,

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I've got an erection the size

of an East coast lighthouse,

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and I'm coming home to share

it with my beautiful wife.

00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,636

Okay.

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Wait... really?

00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,429

Yes.

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Yes! See you in 10 minutes!

00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,349

Hey!

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I'm going to make

love to my wife!

00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,352

Lookin' good.

00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,228

Slow down!

00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,187

My man!

00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,982

Aw, geez, Rick.

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,733

I-I don't know if I

like this plan, you know?

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,653

I mean, crowds,

t-t-t-they have a tendency

00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,777

to make me really nervous.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,905

Morty, relax.

00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,657

It's just a bunch

of 1s and 0s out there.

00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,950

You're gonna be fine.

00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,201

Just follow my lead.

00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,786

Yo, deejay, drop that beat.

00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,124

Uh-oh, Morty.

00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,294

This crowd looks too small for

one of our famous rap concerts.

00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,212

I don't think we can

perform our new song,

00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,506

"The Recipe for

Concentrated Dark Matter,"

00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,716

for a crowd this tiny.

00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,301

You got that right, Rick.

00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,431

Now that's more like it!

00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,141

Morty, here we go.

00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,102

Let me hear everybody

say "Hey-oh!" yeah!

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,897

All the ladies say, "Yeah!"

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,233

Everybody over 30,

do this with your hands!

00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,903

Everybody with a red shirt,

jump up and down!

00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,874

Mm. Mm. Mm.

00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,417

Yeah, don't move.

00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,711

Mm, mm, mm, mm!

00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,087

Mm!

00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,882

Yo, everyone whose first name

begins with an "L"

00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,593

who isn't Hispanic, walk in a

circle the same number of times

00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,304

as the square root

of your age times 10!

00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,433

Run, Morty!

00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,726

Before the system reboots!

00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,270

Yeah! You like that?

00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,356

Now who's unremarkable?

00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,899

You hungry for apples?

00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,611

Are you hungry... for... apples?!

00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,243

Oh, my God.

00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,162

That's the best sex

I've ever had in my life.

00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:44,458

It's... it's... too good.

00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,752

I don't deserve this, Beth.

00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,921

I'm a fraud.

00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,005

Oh, man, Rick!

00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,298

W-w-w-where we running to?

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,633

Out of the simulation, Morty.

00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,635

Normally, the chamber

operates like a treadmill,

00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,479

with the virtual world

disappearing behind us

00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,514

and being rendered in front

of us as we move through it,

00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,558

but while it's frozen, Morty,

we can get to...

00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,269

the edge.

00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,353

Here we go.

00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,271

Holy crap!

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,355

Come on, Morty.

00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,025

Sir, they're over the edge.

00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,193

Yes, they are.

00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,196

Just... as... planned.

00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,077

Oh, this is going to

be such a mindfuck!

00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,456

Keep your eyes peeled for the

central processing room, Morty.

00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,208

That's how we're gonna

scam these idiots.

00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,627

So, hey, why do these aliens

keep coming after you, Rick,

00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,112

if you're so

much smarter than them?

00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,771

It's an obsession

for them at this point.

00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,674

The Zigerions have

been trying to outsmart

00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,967

me for years, Morty.

00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,052

Every time they do,

I'm one step ahead of them.

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,178

Aha!

00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,346

Here we go.

00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,558

Grab as many processors

as you can carry, Morty.

00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,018

These guys aren't good at much,

00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,312

but they're reallygood

at making these chips.

00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,231

I've got so many,

l can barely hold them all.

00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,317

Look at...

look at this.

00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,401

Oops. l dropped one.

00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,777

Don't worry about it, Morty.

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,279

There's plenty of them,

you little goofball.

00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,032

Come here, Morty!

Oh, l gotcha!

00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:58,991

Come on, quit it, Rick!

00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,367

Quit it!

00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,369

Nothing wrong with just a

little bit of horseplay every

00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,996

now and then, little fella.

00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,967

Wow. What do you know?

00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,385

Huh. That was easy.

00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,888

Totes malotes, dawg.

00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,097

Just kind of hard to believe,

you know?

00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,557

Believe it, Morty.

00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,851

And once again, I'm flying away

with everything l can carry,

00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,354

and the Zigerions

got nothing of mine.

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,851

Mr. Marklevitz,

do you have a...

00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,029

minute to talk?

00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,489

Yes.

00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,157

Look, I'm a fraud.

00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,700

I mean, let's face it...

00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,203

"Hungry For Apples" is just

a rip-off of "Got Milk?"

00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,496

It's almost identical.

00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,789

Yes.

00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,082

Okay.

00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,333

I deserve that.

00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,711

Umm... I guess...

I'll just pack up my desk.

00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,004

Yes.

00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,426

Oh, my God.

00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,054

Wait. You know what?! No!

00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,139

The milk people don't

have a patent on

00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,100

simple rhetorical questions!

00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,644

There's not even a single word

in "Hungry For Apples" that's

00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,521

shared by "Got Milk?"

00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,439

It's a completely

different slogan.

00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,816

It's different!

00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,818

And I shouldn't be fired.

00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,528

I should be promoted!

00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,852

- Yes.

- Yeah!

00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:19,863

Wait. Really?

00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:20,948

- Yes.

- Yes!

00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,574

I mean, I'm...

it may be derivative,

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,451

but it's the most successful

campaign to come out of this

00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,536

agency in a long time.

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,954

Yes.

00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,956

I-I'm not saying it should win

an award for commercials,

00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,041

but it could certainly be

nominated for an award

00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,001

for commercials specifically

about apples,

00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,711

like... an Appley or something.

00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,796

Yes.

00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,922

Is there really an

award called the Appley

00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,132

for Apple-Related ad campaigns?

00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,258

Yes.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,551

- Could we nominate me?

- Yes.

00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,386

Holy crap!

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,685

Get in, Morty.

00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,354

I'm gonna be able to use

these processors to make some

00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,148

real important science stuff.

00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,901

Huh.

00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,153

I thought l entered

the code right.

00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,954

Wha... well, what's this?

00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,498

W-what could this possibly be?

00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,168

Because it looks like

you're inside a simulation...

00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,087

inside a simulation.

00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,714

You're still on the ship.

00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,340

Game-day bucket go boom.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,926

Sir, the, uh, doctor's

appointment to examine the

00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,095

discoloration on your

butthole flaps was...

00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,513

Too loud, Cynthia.

00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,764

Too loud and too specific.

00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,849

Uhh...

00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,852

We've known how to make

concentrated dark matter

00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,896

for a long time.

00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:39,401

But now we also know the code to

your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,988

All your most valuable

secrets will now be ours!

00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,740

Uh, yeah, until I get home

before you and change the

00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,325

combination,

you bunch of idiots!

00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,743

That is why you're

never getting home.

00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,952

Get them!

00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,417

Run, Morty!

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,468

Oh, my God!

00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:21,985

Ow!

00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,246

l got to tell you, this morning,

00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,810

l didn't even know

this award existed.

00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,332

Now I'm holding one.

00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,709

And... um...

00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,547

look, I want to say that today

was the best day of my life...

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,759

but... the truth is, it's...

it's more meaningful than that.

00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:46,843

My man!

00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,136

Yes. Thank you, sir.

00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:53,684

l...am... finally complete!

00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,189

My... my... my... my man!

00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,610

Aah!

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,945

What the hell?!

00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,449

No.

00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,534

- Jerry?!

- Dad!

00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,994

What are you doing here?

00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,161

W-why are you

dressed like a waiter?

00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,371

Screw it.

We don't have time.

00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,247

Come on.

00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,748

No!

00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300

Ohhhhh!

00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,553

Aah!

00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,491

Yes! Yes! Yes!

00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,626

Oof!

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,253

Man up, Jerry!

00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,713

I may need you to

work the lasers.

00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,227

Oh, man!

They're hot on our tail, Rick!

00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,271

I guess they really do have

concentrated dark matter.

00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,856

Well, you know how to make it,

too, right, Rick?

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,940

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,317

Uh, check the engine room.

00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,070

We just need Cesium, Plutonic

Quarks, and bottled water.

00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:31,573

It's all here, Rick!

00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,658

Wow, Morty.

Lucky break.

00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,909

Grab that bucket.

00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,162

Okay, two parts Plutonic Quarks,

one part Cesium.

00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,372

Okay. Uh-huh.

00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,875

All right.

00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,460

Now empty the water bottle

into the bucket and pour

00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,546

it all into the fuel tank so we

can get the hell out of here!

00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,711

What are you doing, Morty?!

00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,757

There's no time!

00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,057

Oh, no.

00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,266

What the...

00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,351

No!

00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,733

Oh, my God, Rick.

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,485

How dumb are you?

00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,237

You're inside a simulation...

00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,322

of a simulation...

00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,117

inside another giant simulation!

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,329

W-We never had the recipe for

concentrated dark matter.

00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,997

But we do now!

00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,708

We do now, sucka!

00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,918

You simulated my

grandson's genitalia?!

00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,421

Y-Y-You bunch of

diabolical sons of bitches!

00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,798

Kevin fought real hard to

supervise that project.

00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,883

You said you weren't

gonna tell anyone!

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,760

I'm never gonna live

this down, am I?

00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,137

All right. Okay.

All right, great. Wonderful.

00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,680

You win.

Can we go home now?

00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,390

I don't know.

Can you?

00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,349

Ha! Nice.

00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,017

Okay, okay.

00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,061

Show this gullible

turd to his shuttle.

00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,438

I'm done with him.

00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,439

Oh, wait.

Let me get a picture.

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,941

Aww. Look at his face.

00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,225

He's trying to figure out if

he's in a simulation still.

00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,236

Are you, Rick?

00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,612

Are you?

00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,031

You're not.

00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,075

Or are you?

00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,997

Oh, a-and, by the way, l don't

have discolored butthole flaps.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,415

That was part of the simulation.

00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:04,583

Oh.

00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,126

Uh, sir, should I cancel

that appointment, then?

00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,669

Yeah! Of course you should!

00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,005

No, keep it.

00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,369

Move it up, actually,

if you can.

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,471

Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it.

00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,264

So what if the most meaningful

day of your life was a

00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,808

simulation operating at

minimum capacity?

00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,268

You know what, Rick?

00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,562

Those guys took you

for a ride, too.

00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,689

You should try having a little

respect for the dummies of the Universe,

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,566

now that you're one of us.

00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,067

Maybe you're right, Jerry.

00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,861

Maybe you're right.

00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,573

All right, everybody.

00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,118

Two parts Plutonic Quarks...

00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,412

One part Cesium...

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,957

A-and listen,

I'm sorry for yelling earlier.

00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,418

I-I couldn't ask

for a better staff.

00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,838

I love you guys,

and I love all your families.

00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:55,050

And the final ingredient...

00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,595

Whoa!

00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,680

What the hell?!

W-what happened back there?

00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,308

Why don't you ask the smartest

people in the Universe, Jerry?

00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,185

- Oh, yeah.

- you can't.

00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,603

They blew up.

00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,103

So...

00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,688

what do you think?

00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,481

You're fired.

00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,691

Wha...

00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,777

But t-this idea was tested in a

state-of-the-art simulation.

00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,487

Well, then, it was

a terrible simulation.

00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,072

Get out.

00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,871

Man, how does a guy like that go

home and have sex with his wife?

00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:07,581

Hey, Morty.

00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,498

What?

00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,583

Hey, little buddy.

00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,418

H-h-how you doing

in here right now?

00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,378

Aw, geez, Rick.

What are you doing, man?

00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,838

Y-y-you're a

good kid, Morty.

00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,923

Y-you're a real l-little

c-character, Morty.

00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,258

Oh, boy.

00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,886

You know, l had a really

rocky road today, M-Morty.

00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,013

You're my little friend,

aren't you?

00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,433

We had some good times together,

huh, M-Morty?

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,560

We... you're a real

true hero out in the field.

00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,771

You're a Li... you're a real

trooper, huh, M-M-Morty?

00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,016

Have you been drinking, Rick?

00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,274

I really appreciate you, Morty.

00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,692

O-okay, cool.

00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,444

A-all right, Rick...

you little son of a bitch!

00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,362

Y-y... are you a simulation?!

00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,739

Huh?! Are you a simulation?!

00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,282

No! No! No!

00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,533

You little son of a bitch!

00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,244

l-I-I'm sorry, Morty.

00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,537

Y-you're a good...

you're a good kid, Morty.

00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:48,705

Geez!

00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,873

Y-you're a good...

you're a good kid.

00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,041

Oh, my god!

00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,711

W-W-What the hell?

00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:55,795

What a life.

00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,965

Did you get any of that?

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,884

It's a good-a show!

00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,495

Hey, Rick.

00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,748

Boy, sure is really especially

beautiful out there today, huh?

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,041

Oh, yes, Morty.

00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,918

L-it's almost unbelievable,

isn't it?

00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,044

Yeah, you know?

00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,369

There's something about the air

00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,005

and just the way the sunshine is.

00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,090

Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah.

00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,758

Sure. B-brilliant. Very convincing.

00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:51,843

Wha... convincing?

00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,927

Oh. Responsive, too.

00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,303

In real time. I love it.

00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,972

Uhh... okay.

00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,256

[ robotic ] I'm going to work.

00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,641

Morty, good morning.

00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,767

Dad, good morning.

00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,728

I am going to work. Goodbye.

00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,229

What's with mom?

00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,731

Oh, what's with mom?

00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,649

So, you're saying that

she's acting weird?

00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,234

How soph[burps]isticated.

00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,527

Careful, guys.

00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,404

You're gonna burn out

the CPU with this one.

00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,697

Okay, you know what, Rick?

00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:13,865

You're acting weird, too.

00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,701

Whatever,

quote-unquote "Morty."

00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:17,952

All right, well...

00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,287

I'll see you after school.

00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,122

Ow! Oof! Ugh!

00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,206

Damn it!

00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,458

I'm all right. I'm okay.

00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,710

[ slurps ]

00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,963

All right, who can tell

me what 5 x 9 is?

00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,673

[ students whispering ]

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,591

Morty?

00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,550

Uh, me?

00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,801

What is 5 x 9?

00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,971

Umm... you know,

it's uhh ...at least 40.

00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,139

[ students gasp ]

00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,433

Morty, that's exactly correct!

00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,019

5 x 9 is at least 40!

00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:43,978

Come up here.

00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,396

Whoo! Way to go, Morty!

00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,857

Everybody,

this is the best student.

00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,859

I want you to be

the teacher today.

00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,319

Teach us, Morty!

00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,570

Interesting.

00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,030

W-w-w-what do you

want me to teach you?

00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,156

Ooh, ooh!

00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,991

How do you make

concentrated dark matter?

00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,242

Oh, that's a good question.

00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,660

Concentrated huh?

00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:00,870

Concentrated dark matter...

00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,456

the fuel for accelerated

space travel.

00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,540

Now, do you know how to make it?

00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,500

Umm...

00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,584

JESSICA:

Come on, Morty.

00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,753

Isn't your grandpa,

like, a scientist?

00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,380

Oh, yeah, but, you know,

he told me that I shouldn't go

00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,091

around spouting off about, you

know, his science and stuff.

00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,178

I bet you've seen him make

concentrated dark matter a lot.

00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,431

You know, if you tell us,

I'll be your girlfriend.

00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,599

Uh, y-you will?

00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,601

Seems like a rare opportunity,

Morty.

00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,977

[ blam! ]

00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,813

Morty, u-uh, come on.

There's a family emergency.

00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,980

Stop right there!

00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,190

If he leaves,

I'm giving him an "F."

00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,274

RICK:

He doesn't care.

00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,317

Aw, man!

00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,693

Rick, I have to go back!

00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,153

I think I was about

to get married!

00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,321

Ugh! Take a shower with me,

Morty.

00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,239

What?!

00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,532

Listen to me, Morty.

00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,408

Get your clothes off and

get in the shower right now.

00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,202

Y-y-y-you got to

trust me, Morty.

00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,286

Ugh!

00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,621

I'm gonna get an

"F" in class, Rick.

00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,831

Morty, that's not class.

00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,374

T-T-T-That wasn't your teacher.

00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,625

This isn't your school.

00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,252

This entire world

is not the world.

00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,736

We're inside a huge simulation

chamber on an alien spaceship.

00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:52,797

Wait a minute.

00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:53,965

W-what are you talking about?

00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,883

It's all fake [burps] Morty...

all of it.

00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:59,720

Nanobotic renderings, a bunch

of crazy fake nonsense, Morty.

00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,565

I couldn't say so until

we got in the shower.

00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,849

They won't monitor us in here.

00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,433

Monitor us?! W-who?!

00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,935

Zigerion scammers, Morty...

00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,105

the Galaxy's most ambitious,

least successful con artists.

00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,357

You know, it's lucky for

us they're also really

00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,481

uncomfortable with nudity.

00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,651

Aw, come on, Rick.

00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:14,986

If everyone's just

gonna be insane today,

00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,113

at least let me be

insane with Jessica.

00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,155

I can't [burps] let

you do that, Morty.

00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,031

Give it to me!

00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:19,907

No! [ burps ]

00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,825

You give it to me!

00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,743

G-g-give it! No, Rick!

00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,460

[ aliens groaning ]

00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,212

Oh, God, Sir!

They're still naked!

00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,755

Ugh.

00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,091

Well, check every five Quintons

and tell me when they're not.

00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,385

I think we should

make Kevin look, sir.

00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,469

What?! No!

00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,929

W-w-why would you even say that?

00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:44,056

Uh, sir, we have

a situation over here.

00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,683

If there's a wiener on that

monitor,

00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,268

I swear to god, Stu...

00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,270

something is drawing a

lot of processing power.

00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,521

Oh, wait. No wonder.

00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,982

There's another real

human in the simulator.

00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,318

Okay, Jerry...

big pitch meeting.

00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,527

Make-or-break time.

00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,612

[ whirring]

00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:58,613

You can do this.

00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,655

How did this happen?!

00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,157

Where's the

Abductions Department?

00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,784

Hey, man, Abductions just

follows the acquisition order.

00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,286

Don't put this on Acquisitions!

00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,914

We only acquire humans that

haven't been simulated!

00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,708

Well, simulations doesn't

simulate anybody that's been

00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,919

abducted,

so [chuckles] oh, I see!

00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,295

Oh, oh!

It was no one's fault.

00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,546

Oh, okay. [ chuckles ]

00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,797

I'm sorry.

Well, then, problem solved.

00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:17,924

Oh, wait... no.

00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,967

There's still another

human in here!

00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,385

Who is he?

00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,970

Rick's son-in-law,

Jerry Smith.

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,848

So far, he hasn't noticed

he's in a simulation.

00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,933

[ sighs ]

00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,497

Well, cap his sector at 5%

processing,

00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,686

keep his settings on auto, and

we'll deal with him later.

00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,897

Rick Sanchez is the target.

00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,484

[ inhales deeply ] Got to relax.

00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,860

It's just a pitch.

00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,195

Got to relax.

00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,071

[ click ]

00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:40,988

[ static ]

00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,531

This is Earth radio.

00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,242

And now, here's... human music.

00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,454

[ repetitive rhythmic beeping]

00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,456

Hmm. Human music.

00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,000

I like it.

00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,002

[ beeping continues]

00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:06,013

[ Rick and Morty panting ]

00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,098

Rick!

00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,182

Uhp, uhp, uhp!

00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:09,558

Morty, keep your hands

off your ding-dong!

00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,123

It's the only way

we can speak freely.

00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,353

Look around you, Morty.

00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,480

Do you really think

this [burps] world is real?

00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,149

You'd have to be an idiot not to

notice all the sloppy details.

00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,360

Look... that guy's putting

a bun between two hot dogs.

00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,486

MORTY:

I don't know, Rick.

00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,029

I mean, I've seen people

do that before.

00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,434

RICK:

Well, look at that old lady.

00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,074

She's... she's walking

a cat on a leash.

00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,076

Uh, Mrs. Spencer does

that all the time, Rick.

00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,495

Look, I-I-l don't want to

hear about Mrs. Spencer, Morty!

00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,663

She's an idiot!

00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:31,622

All right, all right, there.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:32,873

W-what about that, Morty?

00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,709

MORTY:

Okay, okay, you got me on that one.

00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,918

Oh, really, Morty?

00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,461

Are you sure you haven't

seen that somewhere

00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,421

in real life before?

00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,755

No, no.

I haven't seen that.

00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,799

I mean, why would a

pop tart want to live inside

00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,217

a toaster, Rick?

00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,678

I mean, that would be, like, the

scariest place for them to live.

00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,804

You know what I mean?

00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,128

You're missing the point, Morty.

00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,060

Why would he drive a smaller

toaster with wheels?

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,662

I mean, does your car look like

a smaller version of your house?

00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:53,769

No.

00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:54,854

So, why are they doing this?

00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,022

W-what do they want?

00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,189

Well, that would be

obvious to you, Morty,

00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,514

if you'd been paying attention.

00:05:58,567 --> 00:05:59,734

[ siren wails ]

00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,068

[ tires screech ]

00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,987

We got the President of the

United States in here!

00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,906

We need 10cc of concentrated

dark matter, stat, or he'll die!

00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,950

Concentrated dark matter?

00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,660

They were asking

about that in class.

00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,412

Yeah, it's a special fuel I

invented to travel through

00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,122

space faster than anybody else.

00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,374

These Zigerions are always

trying to scam me out of my secrets,

00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,002

but they made a big

mistake this time, Morty.

00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,879

They dragged you into this.

00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,047

Now they're gonna pay!

00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,691

What do you...

w-w-what are we gonna do?

00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,675

We'll scam the scammers, Morty.

00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,470

And we're gonna take them for

everything they've got.

00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,181

JERRY:

National Apple Farmers of America,

00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,349

welcome to our Ad Agency.

00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,351

I'm Jerry Smith.

00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,479

All right.

00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,855

I'll just... get to the pitch.

00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:41,901

Um, simple question, gentlemen,

[ hoarsely ] what are apples?

00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,319

[ clears throat ] Excuse me.

00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,112

Ahh.

00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,239

[ coughs, clears throat ]

00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,200

What are apples?

00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,869

Apples are food.

00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,455

And... when do we need food?

00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,415

When we're hungry.

00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,544

With that, I give

you your new slogan!

00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,129

[ sighs ]

00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,048

Well, say something!

00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,132

Do you like it?

00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,258

Yes.

00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,343

You do?

00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,385

ALL:

Yes.

00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,012

So... I sold it?

00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,014

[ laughs ] I sold the idea?

00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099

ALL:

Yes.

00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,767

Oh, my god! Thank you!

00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,727

TOGETHER:

Thank you.

00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:17,812

You're welcome.

00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:20,815

[ "Baker Street" plays ]

00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,234

Hey!

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,693

I just sold my first pitch!

00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,153

[ dialing ]

00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,363

Slow down! Lookin' good.

00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,531

My man!

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,242

[ beeping, telephone ringing ]

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,451

[robot] Hello.

00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,745

Guess who just sold

the apples campaign.

00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,455

Who just sold

the apples campaign?

00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,915

Me!

00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,626

I guess it wasn't a rip-off

of "Got milk? " after all.

00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,503

Guess someone was wrong.

00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,671

Yes.

00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,214

Well, all is forgiven,

because right now,

00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,579

I've got an erection the size

of an East coast lighthouse,

00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,794

and I'm coming home to share

it with my beautiful wife.

00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:50,636

Okay.

00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,512

Wait... really?

00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,429

Yes.

00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,265

Yes! See you in 10 minutes!

00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,349

[ cellphone beeps ] Hey!

00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,934

I'm going to make

love to my wife!

00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,352

Lookin' good.

00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,228

Slow down!

00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,187

My man!

00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:01,647

[ beeping ]

00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,982

Aw, geez, Rick.

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,733

I-I don't know if I

like this plan, you know?

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,653

I mean, crowds,

t-t-t-they have a tendency

00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,777

to make me really nervous.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,905

Morty, relax.

00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,657

It's just a bunch

of 1s and 0s out there.

00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,950

You're gonna be fine.

00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,201

Just follow my lead.

00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,786

Yo, deejay, drop that beat.

00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,663

[ hip-hop beat plays ]

00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,581

[ cheers and applause ]

00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,124

Uh-oh, Morty.

00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,294

This crowd looks too small for

one of our famous rap concerts.

00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,212

I don't think we can

perform our new song,

00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:27,506

"The Recipe for

Concentrated Dark Matter,"

00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:28,716

for a crowd this tiny.

00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,301

You got that right, Rick.

00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,679

[ cheers and applause ]

00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,431

RICK:

Now that's [burps] more like it!

00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,141

Morty, here we go.

00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,102

Let me hear everybody

say "Hey-oh!" yeah!

00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,520

[ crowd cheering ]

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,897

All the ladies say, "Yeah!"

00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:43,981

[ ladies cheering ]

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,233

Everybody over 30,

do this with your hands!

00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,903

Everybody with a red shirt,

jump up and down!

00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,779

[ beeping ]

00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,161

[ tires screech ]

00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,874

Mm. Mm. Mm.

00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,417

Yeah, don't move.

00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,711

Mm, mm, mm, mm!

00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,087

Mm!

00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,339

[ cheers and applause ]

00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,882

Yo, everyone whose first name

begins with an "L"

00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,593

who isn't Hispanic, walk in a

circle the same number of times

00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,304

as the square root

of your age times 10!

00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,557

[ beeping ]

00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,433

Run, Morty!

00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,726

Before the system reboots!

00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,144

[ squeaking ]

00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,270

JERRY:

Yeah! You like that?

00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,356

Now who's unremarkable?

00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,899

You hungry for apples?

00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,484

[ squeaking intensifies ]

00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,611

Are you hungry... for... apples?!

00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,322

[ squeaking stops ]

00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,531

[ sighs deeply ]

00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:35,616

[ chuckles ]

00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,243

Oh, my God.

00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,162

That's the best sex

I've ever had in my life.

00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:44,458

It's... it's... too good.

00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,752

I don't deserve this, Beth.

00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,921

I'm a fraud.

00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,005

Oh, man, Rick!

00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,298

W-w-w-where we running to?

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,633

Out of the simulation, Morty.

00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,635

Normally, the chamber

operates like a treadmill,

00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,479

with the virtual world

disappearing behind us

00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,514

and being rendered in front

of us as we move through it,

00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,558

but while it's frozen, Morty,

we can get to...

00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,269

the edge.

00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,353

Here we go.

00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,271

Holy crap!

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,355

Come on, Morty.

00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,898

[ grunts ]

00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,025

Sir, they're over the edge.

00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,193

Yes, they are.

00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,196

Just... as... planned.

00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:18,075

[ evil laughter ]

00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,077

Oh, this is going to

be such a mindfuck!

00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,456

Keep your eyes peeled for the

central processing room, Morty.

00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,208

That's how we're gonna

scam these idiots.

00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,627

So, hey, why do these aliens

keep coming after you, Rick,

00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,112

if you're so

much smarter than them?

00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,771

It's an obsession

for them at this point.

00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,674

The Zi[burps]gerions have

been trying to outsmart

00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,967

me for years, Morty.

00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,052

Every time they do,

I'm one step ahead of them.

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,178

Aha!

00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,346

Here we go.

00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,558

Grab as many processors

as you can carry, Morty.

00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,018

These guys aren't good at much,

00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,312

but they're reallygood

at making these chips.

00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,231

RICK: I've got so many,

l can barely hold them all.

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,316

[ chuckles ]

00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,317

Look at...

look at this.

00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,401

Oops. l dropped one.

00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,777

Don't worry about it, Morty.

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,279

There's plenty of them,

you little goofball.

00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,405

[ both laugh ]

00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,032

Come here, Morty!

Oh, l gotcha!

00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:58,991

Come on, quit it, Rick!

00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,367

Quit it!

[ laughs ]

00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,369

Nothing wrong with just a

little bit of horseplay every

00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,996

now and then, little fella.

00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,543

[ glass shatters ]

00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,967

Wow. What do you know?

00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,385

Huh. That was easy.

00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,888

Totes malotes, dawg.

00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,097

Just kind of hard to believe,

you know?

00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,557

Believe it, Morty.

00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,851

And once again, I'm flying away

with everything l can carry,

00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,354

and the Zigerions

got nothing of mine.

00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:34,526

[ sighs ]

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,851

Mr. Marklevitz,

do you have a...

00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,029

minute to talk?

00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,489

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,157

Look, I'm a fraud.

00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,700

I mean, let's face it...

00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,203

"Hungry For Apples" is just

a rip-off of "Got Milk?"

00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,496

It's almost identical.

00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,789

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,082

[ sighs ] Okay.

00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,333

I deserve that.

00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,711

Umm... I guess...

I'll just pack up my desk.

00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,004

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,757

[ crying ]

00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,426

[ sobbing ] Oh, my God.

00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,054

Wait. You know what?! No!

00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,139

The milk people don't

have a patent on

00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,100

simple rhetorical questions!

00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,644

There's not even a single word

in "Hungry For Apples" that's

00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,521

shared by "Got Milk?"

00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,439

It's a completely

different slogan.

00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,816

It's different!

00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,818

And I shouldn't be fired.

00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,528

I should be promoted!

00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,852

- [ snaps fingers ] Yes.

- Yeah!

00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:19,863

Wait. Really?

00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:20,948

- [ snaps fingers ] Yes.

- Yes!

00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,574

I mean, I'm...

it may be derivative,

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,451

but it's the most successful

campaign to come out of this

00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,536

agency in a long time.

00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,954

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,956

I-I'm not saying it should win

an award for commercials,

00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,041

but it could certainly be

nominated for an award

00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,001

for commercials specifically

about apples,

00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,711

like... an Appley or something.

00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,796

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,922

Is there really an

award called the Appley

00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,132

for Apple-Related ad campaigns?

00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,258

[ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,551

- Could we nominate me?

- [ snaps fingers ] Yes.

00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,386

Holy crap!

00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,470

[ beeping ]

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,685

Get in, Morty.

00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,354

I'm gonna [burps] be able to use

these processors to make some

00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,148

real important science stuff.

00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,608

[ keypad beeping ]

00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,901

Huh.

00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,153

I thought l entered

the code right.

00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,487

[ keypad beeping ]

00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,954

Wha... well, what's this?

00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,498

W-what could this possibly be?

00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,168

Because it looks like

you're inside a simulation...

00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,087

inside a simulation.

00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,714

You're still on the ship.

00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,340

Game-day bucket go boom.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,926

Sir, the, uh, doctor's

appointment to examine the

00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:25,095

discoloration on your

butthole flaps was...

00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,513

Too loud, Cynthia.

00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,764

Too loud and too specific.

00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,849

Uhh...

00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:29,975

[ chuckles ]

00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,852

We've known how to make

concentrated dark matter

00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,896

for a long time.

00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:39,401

But now we also know the code to

your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,988

All your most valuable

secrets will now be ours!

00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,740

Uh, yeah, until I get home

before you and change the

00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,325

combination,

you bunch of idiots!

00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,743

That is why you're

never getting home.

00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,952

Get them!

00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,329

[ grunts ]

00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,498

[ aliens shouting, groaning ]

00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,417

Run, Morty!

00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,377

[ both panting ]

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,468

Oh, my God!

00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,224

[ beep, click ]

00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,188

[ mechanical breathing ]

00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:21,985

Ow!

00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,615

[ click, whoosh ]

00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,034

[ aliens screaming ]

00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,036

[ both panting ]

00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,246

l got to tell you, this morning,

00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,810

l didn't even know

this award existed.

00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,332

Now I'm holding one.

00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,709

And... um...

00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,547

look, I want to say that today

was the best day of my life...

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,759

but... the truth is, it's...

it's more meaningful than that.

00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:46,843

MAN:

My man!

00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,136

Yes. Thank you, sir.

00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,013

[ sighs deeply ]

00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:53,684

l...am... finally complete!

00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,352

[ beeping ]

00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,189

My... my... my... my man!

00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,610

Aah!

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,945

What the hell?!

00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,240

[ beeping ]

00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,449

No.

00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,534

- Jerry?!

- Dad!

00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,994

What are you doing here?

00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,161

W-why are you

dressed like a waiter?

00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,371

Screw it.

We don't have time.

00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,247

Come on.

00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,748

[ sobbing ] No!

00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,215

[ alarm blaring ]

00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,300

Ohhhhh!

00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,553

[ beeping ] Aah!

00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,491

ALL:

Yes! Yes! Yes!

00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,626

Oof!

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,253

Man up, Jerry!

00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,713

I may need you to

work the lasers.

00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,632

[ beeping ]

00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:08,675

[ slurps ]

00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,593

[ gasps ]

00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,553

[ alarm blaring ]

00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,227

Oh, man!

They're hot on our tail, Rick!

00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,271

I guess they really do have

concentrated dark matter.

00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,856

Well, you know how to make it,

too, right, Rick?

00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,940

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,317

Uh, check the engine room.

00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,070

We just need Cesium, Plutonic

Quarks, and bottled water.

00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:31,573

It's all here, Rick!

00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,658

Wow, Morty.

Lucky break.

00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,909

Grab that bucket.

00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,162

Okay, two parts Plutonic Quarks,

one part Cesium.

00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,372

Okay. Uh-huh.

00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:40,624

[ fizzing ]

00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,875

All right.

00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,460

Now empty the water bottle

into the bucket and pour

00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,546

it all into the fuel tank so we

can get the hell out of here!

00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,711

What are you doing, Morty?!

00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,757

There's no time!

00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,801

[ beeping ]

00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,305

[ stammering ]

00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,057

Oh, no.

00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,266

What the...

00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,351

No!

00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,103

[ laughter ]

00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,733

Oh, my God, Rick.

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,485

How dumb are you?

00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,237

You're inside a simulation...

00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,322

of a simulation...

00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,117

inside another giant simulation!

00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,493

[ laughs ]

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,329

W-We never had the recipe for

concentrated dark matter.

00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,997

But we do now!

00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,708

We do now, sucka!

00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,918

You simulated my

grandson's genitalia?!

00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,421

Y-Y-You bunch of

diabolical sons of bitches!

00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,798

Kevin fought real hard to

supervise that project.

00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,883

You said you weren't

gonna tell anyone!

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,760

I'm never gonna live

this down, am I?

00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:35,137

All right. Okay.

All right, great. Wonderful.

00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,680

You win.

Can we go home now?

00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,390

I don't know.

Can you?

00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,349

Ha! Nice.

00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,017

Okay, okay.

00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,061

Show this gullible

turd to his shuttle.

00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,438

I'm done with him.

00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,439

Oh, wait.

Let me get a picture.

00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,356

[ shutter clicks ]

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:47,941

Aww. Look at his face.

00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,225

He's trying to figure out if

he's in a simulation still.

00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,236

Are you, Rick?

00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,612

Are you?

00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,739

[ laughs ]

00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,031

You're not.

00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,075

Or are you?

00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,997

Oh, a-and, by the way, l don't

have discolored butthole flaps.

00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,415

That was part of the simulation.

00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:04,583

Oh.

00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,126

Uh, sir, should I cancel

that appointment, then?

00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,669

Yeah! Of course you should!

00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,879

[ chuckles ]

00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,005

No, keep it.

00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,369

Move it up, actually,

if you can.

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,471

RICK:

Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it.

00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,264

So what if the most meaningful

day of your life was a

00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,808

simulation operating at

minimum cap[burps]acity?

00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,268

You know what, Rick?

00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,562

Those guys took you

for a ride, too.

00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,689

You should try having a little

respect for the dummies of the Universe,

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,566

now that you're one of us.

00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,067

Maybe you're right, Jerry.

00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,861

Maybe you're right.

00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,237

[ aliens cheering ]

00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,573

[ dance music plays ]

All right, everybody.

00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,118

Two parts Plutonic Quarks...

00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,412

One part Cesium...

00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,705

[ fizzing ]

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,957

A-and listen,

I'm sorry for yelling earlier.

00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,418

I-I couldn't ask

for a better staff.

00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:51,838

I love you guys,

and I love all your families.

00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:55,050

And the final ingredient...

00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,595

JERRY:

Whoa!

00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,680

What the hell?!

W-what happened back there?

00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,308

Why don't you ask the smartest

people in the Universe, Jerry?

00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,185

Oh, yeah.

[ burps ] you can't.

00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,603

They blew up.

00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,146

[ sighs ]

00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,272

[ beep ]

00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,484

[ "Baker Street" plays]

00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,403

[ vocalizing ]

00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:21,451

[ vocalizing out of sync ]

00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:30,836

[ "Baker Street" continues ]

00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,103

JERRY:

So...

00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,688

what do you think?

00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,481

You're fired.

00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,691

Wha...

00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,777

But t-this idea was tested in a

state-of-the-art simulation.

00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,487

Well, then, it was

a terrible simulation.

00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,072

Get out.

00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,367

[ door opens, closes ]

00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,871

Man, how does a guy like that go

home and have sex with his wife?

00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:07,581

Hey, Morty.

00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,498

What?

00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,583

Hey, little buddy.

00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,418

H-h-how you doing

in here right now?

00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,378

Aw, geez, Rick.

What are you doing, man?

00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,838

Y-y-you're a

good kid, Morty.

00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,923

Y-you're a real l-little

c-character, Morty.

00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,258

Oh, boy.

00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,886

You know, l had a really

rocky road today, M-Morty.

00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,013

You're my little friend,

aren't you?

00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,222

[ sighs ]

00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,433

We had some good times together,

huh, M-Morty?

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,560

We... you're a real

true hero out in the field.

00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,771

You're a Li... you're a real

trooper, huh, M-M-Morty?

00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,016

Have you been drinking, Rick?

00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,274

I really appreciate you, Morty.

00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,692

O-okay, cool.

00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,444

A-all right, Rick...

you little son of a bitch!

00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,362

Y-y... are you a simulation?!

00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,739

Huh?! Are you a simulation?!

00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,282

No! No! No!

00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,533

You little son of a bitch!

00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,618

[ gasping ]

00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,244

l-I-I'm sorry, Morty.

00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,537

Y-you're a good...

you're a good kid, Morty.

00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:48,705

Geez!

00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,873

Y-you're a good...

you're a good kid.

00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,041

Oh, my god!

00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,125

[ snoring ]

00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,711

W-W-What the hell?

00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:55,795

What a life.

00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,965

Did you get any of that?

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,884

It's a good-a show!