Анатомический парк

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♪ On the Christmas Christmas ♪

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Mmm.

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Jerry, you are really

giving it to this ham.

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Um, Merry Christmas.

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Hello?

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My parents are coming over

for the first time in years.

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Can we stow the

gadgets and look alive?

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Alive?

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For your parents?

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Mm, good one.

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Hey, man! You "Hey, man!"

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This holiday is about humanity.

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You know, I thought it was

about being born half-god or something.

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Whatever.

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All electronic items are going

in the stocking... now.

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Dad, I'm not

giving you my phone.

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Put it in the stocking, Summer,

or I'm joining Facebook.

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A-ho, ho, ho, everybody.

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More like

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

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What is this?

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My parents are coming!

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Calm down, Jerry.

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This is Reuben, an old friend.

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Pearl Harbor.

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I check in on him once a year

and give him a little

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medical evaluation.

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Aww!

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Dad, that is so sweet!

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Yeah, it is.

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I don't get it.

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Korea.

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Don't worry about your

C-Christmas, Jerry.

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I'll be with Reuben in

my workshop while you guys are

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having another day in

Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.

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Huh.

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You think you know a guy.

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Okay, there's my parents.

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Now, remember...

no TV, no phones, no laptops.

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We are connecting this Christmas,

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like old-school

Jews on a Saturday.

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Hey, hey!

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Merry Christmas, son.

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Uh, hi.

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Can I help you?

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Jerry, this is Jacob.

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Didn't you get our text message?

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No!

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You must be Jerry.

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That's a fine-looking apron.

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Williams-Sonoma?

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I wish!

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But thank you.

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So, you're a...

friend of the family?

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Uh, the way we see it,

he's a part of the family.

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Wow.

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After your father's brush with

cancer and losing your uncle,

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we looked at life and wondered,

how have we spent it,

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and how do we spend

the rest of it?

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What are we going to

be when we die...

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A list of fears and questions

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or a collection

of real experiences?

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Holy crap.

Joyce, that's amazing.

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Then Jacob came into our lives,

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and... we're learning

to live again.

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All three of us.

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Cool.

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Eggnog?

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Now we are talking!

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This man's got the apron

and the eggnog, huh?

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Hi, Joyce. Leonard.

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Hello, there.

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Merry Christmas, man.

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Morty, a moment of your time?

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He's in bad shape, Morty.

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Aw, geez, Rick.

What'd you do?

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Gee, thanks, Morty.

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W-w-what kind of monster

do you think I am?

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I-I-I'm sitting here trying

to save the guy's life.

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I need your help.

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I want you to find

Dr. Xenon Bloom.

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He'll know what's going on.

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Uh, w-w-w-where...

where do I find Dr. Bloom?

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In Reuben.

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Reuben, Minne... Minnesota?

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Reuben on the table, Morty.

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Look, I-I-I I don't

have time for you to wrap your

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little walnut around everything.

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Just hold your breath

until the process is over

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or your lungs will collapse.

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What proc...

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Hey, Dad, where's Morty?

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He's busy.

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Morty, can you hear me?

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Head north.

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Rick, where am I?

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Depending on my aim,

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you should be just

south of the entrance.

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Entrance to what?

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Welcome, Morty.

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Welcome...

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to Anatomy Park!

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It's a little business venture

I've been cooking up on the side

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with Dr. Bloom... an amusement

park inside a human body.

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Science isn't ch...

cheap, Morty.

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This should really help

put a dent in the overhead.

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Oh, my God!

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This is insane!

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Spleen Mountain?

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Bladder Falls?

Pirates of the Pancreas?

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You got a problem

with that last one, Morty?

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Huh? No, no.

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I'm just reading 'em out loud in

the order that I'm seeing 'em.

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Okay. All right.

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If I sounded a little defensive,

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it's because Pirates of the

Pancreas was my baby.

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You know, I got...

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I got a lot of pushback

when I pitched it, Morty.

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I guess I'm still

a little defensive.

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Let's just find Dr. Bloom,

all right?

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I-I'm picking up a distress

signal in the liver, Morty.

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Proceed to the liver.

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Arriving at...

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liver.

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Ow!

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Mind the gap.

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It's really scary in here, Rick.

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The liver's under maintenance.

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Reuben's seen some

rough years, Morty.

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Don't judge.

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You don't agree to have a theme

park built inside you if your

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life's going great.

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Rick! It's a monster!

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No, no, no. Morty.

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The only monster here is

alco ... ...holism.

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That is an animatronic werewolf.

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Who are you?!

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Answer me!

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Where'd you come from?

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My... my... my

grandpa Rick sent me!

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Poncho!

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That's quite enough.

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Morty, that's Poncho.

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This is Roger and Annie.

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And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom.

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Hey, Bloom, it's Rick.

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What the hell's going on here?

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I don't know why, but the entire

security system has shut down,

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and I'm afraid...

the exhibits are unlocked.

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Exhibits?

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Anatomy Park's greatest

attraction, young man,

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isn't the music

or the food or the...

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Pirates of the Pancreas.

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Watch it.

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It is, first and foremost, a

living museum of humanity's most

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noble and ferocious diseases.

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Diseases?

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Hey, doc.

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I got news for you.

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Your living museum is

officially a wild safari!

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Hepatitis A!

Run!

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Oh, the food goes

in your mouth, girl.

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Oh, Jacob.

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l-I'm sorry, Jacob.

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I-I guess I'm still confused

about the precise nature and

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origin of your relationship

with my parents.

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Are you, like, uh... are you,

like, their caretaker?

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Is that what it is?

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We can go into

detail later, son.

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Now, wait.

Th-there's no point to secrecy.

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Let's all live and die honestly.

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Your mother and I have shared

40 years of each other, mind,

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body, and soul, and when

minds and souls are joined

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for eternity and when eternity

is at the door,

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it's an invitation to let go of

the body and an opportunity

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to share and experiment.

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Dad, please.

What are you saying?

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Whatever it is, it's beautiful,

Leonard, and we support you.

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Hey, speak for yourself,

because it

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sounds like you're about

to say Jacob is your lover.

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No, no, no, no, no, no.

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Jacob is your mother's lover.

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I watch them...

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Sometimes from a chair and

sometimes from a closet,

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almost always dressed

as Superman.

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Oh.

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Jerry, this ham has got

to be all you, right?

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It's incredible.

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Happy human holiday, Dad.

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Aah!

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Hepatitis won't follow us

into the respiratory system.

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That's strange.

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Airflow is down 20%.

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So, the brain isn't

getting enough oxygen.

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That's why security's offline.

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Well, I guess we

better check it out.

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Hey! Wait for me!

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Put that back on!

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If we got up to the

Bronchial Catwalk,

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we could look for a blockage.

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I'll go.

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Don't be a hero, kid.

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I'm not.

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I'm doing it because it's fun.

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We shouldn't be here.

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Whatever you do, do not

fire that thing in here.

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We must save Reuben.

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This is my life's work.

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It's all right, my dear.

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Nearly all human lungs contain a

strain of these bacteria,

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but the scar tissue

keeps them...

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dormant.

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Morty, get down!

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Whoa-ho-ho!

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Whoa!

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Whoa, whoa, whoa!

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Oh, what are those things?

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Tuberculosis...

coming in fast!

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Not faster than a bullet!

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Aah!

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No!

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Do you know what you've done?!

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,482

Whoa!

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Get to the digestive tract!

00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,611

He's coughing!

00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531

Whoaaaa!

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Don't let me die!

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Just take a deep breath, Reuben.

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You're not gonna die!

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What's your name?

00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788

My name is...

00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,207

Alexand...

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Rick... R-R-Reuben's got

tuberculosis!

00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,256

Oh, great work, Morty.

00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,008

Okay, I'll just

cure it and then...

00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,635

Okay.

00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,887

Well, I can't cure death.

00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,013

This is bad, Morty.

00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,217

You're trapped in a dead man.

00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,682

Listen, if the situation

keeps darkening,

00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,518

do yourself a favor and pop by

Pirates of the Pancreas.

00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,854

Obviously I'm biased,

but I think it's great, Morty.

00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,981

It's a bunch of

pirates running around a

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,150

pancreas.

00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,568

We don't whitewash it,

either, Morty.

00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,153

I mean, the pirates

are really rapey.

00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,072

The top priority is to get,

you know, you guys out of there,

00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,200

but I'm just saying, if that

becomes impossible, please,

00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,826

you gotta treat yourself.

00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,161

Oh, man.

00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,954

W-w-w-what is

that horrible smell?

00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,164

You mean the Panda Express?

00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,083

Kidding. I-I'm kidding.

00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,420

The body is beginning to

constrict and fill with gas.

00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,130

We're inside a corpse, my boy.

00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,257

Anatomy Park is doomed.

00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,592

Forget about the park, doctor!

00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,801

How do we get out?

00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,887

The digestive tract is the

evacuation route.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,388

Get it?

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,599

There's an emergency station in

the colon with a ray that can

00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,059

enlarge us all.

00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,560

Everybody, head for the colon!

00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,688

Now I'm taking orders

from a 12-year-old boy?

00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,401

Morty, the scar sacs containing

the tuberculosis were sabotaged.

00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,570

This disaster was an inside job.

00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,572

Keep your eye on Annie.

00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,741

She was written up several times

00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,869

by her manager

at the Churro Stand.

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,704

Intestines are ahead to the

left, then to the right,

00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,249

then left, ET cetera.

00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,753

Hey, just so you know,

l-I-I'm actually 14.

00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,213

So, you know...

what?

00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756

Not 12.

00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,216

Okay.

00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,843

You know, because

he just said I was 12.

00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,220

Oh.

00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,805

Good for you.

00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,556

Oof. Ugh. Morty.

00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,891

Strike one.

00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,396

♪ It's a road of wonder ♪

00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,106

♪ A trail of food ♪

00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,985

♪ It's a pathway to break

up the bad and good ♪

00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,030

♪ It's a tube that digests

and then sends out the rest ♪

00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,118

♪ It's a small,

small intestine ♪

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,787

Lt goes on like this for miles.

00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,206

Then we get to the

large intestine!

00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,334

Shh!

I hear something.

00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,381

Don't move.

00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:36,218

Gonorrhea can't see

us if we don't move.

00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,638

Wait, I was wrong.

00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,803

I was thinking of a T. Rex.

00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,351

Move!

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,231

We're sitting ducks!

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,233

Doc, didn't you say that the

body was filling with gas?

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,609

Yes. Why?

00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,570

Kid, you're a genius.

00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,654

Are you mad?!

00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,947

Everybody, in here!

00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,366

Hey, Gonorrhea!

00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,910

How's this for a

burning sensation?

00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,044

Huh.

00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,214

♪ Drummer drum drum

drum drum drum ♪

00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,258

♪ Drum drum drum

drum drum drum ♪

00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,343

♪ Christmas drums ♪

00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,510

Oh, sing it, Summer.

00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,721

♪ Christmas drums being played

by a b-o-o-o-y ♪

00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,014

Oh, I love to hear you sing.

00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,060

Jerry, come on.

00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,269

This is what you wanted.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,354

I get it, Beth.

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,556

Be careful what you wish for.

00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,231

I'm being punished

for taking your iPad.

00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,191

What?

00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,692

Jerry, let that stuff go, okay?

00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,235

I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier.

00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,279

Let's just be here.

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,281

Summer!

00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,366

Ethan?

00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,367

What are you doing here?

00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,409

I've been texting you for hours!

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,619

What the hell?!

00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703

I don't have my phone!

00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,163

I'm doing a human holiday!

00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,957

Well, did you even consider

how that might make me feel?!

00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,209

How you feel?!

00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,544

Why is everything always

happening to you?!

00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,463

Summer, do you have a boyfriend?

00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,006

Yeah, do you, Summer?

00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:56,882

I don't know, Ethan.

00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,092

Do I?!

00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,969

Jerry, no disrespect,

but you really need to

00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,971

connect more with

your family, man.

00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,308

I should be able to access the

backup generator to get the

00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,684

growth ray online.

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,728

If it works, we'll be

regular-sized in a few minutes.

00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,893

I just hope Reuben's not in a

room with white carpets

00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940

or upholstery.

00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,359

What the hell is that?

00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,568

The Sphincter Dam.

00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,404

We built it when Reuben became

incontinent,

00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,281

but it was not designed

to hold a corpse load.

00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,367

I've almost got it.

00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,119

Everybody, move

inside the circle.

00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,329

Poncho?

00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,622

What is this in your backpack?

00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,958

That's Bubonic plague!

00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,482

What are you doing

with that, Poncho?

00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420

Everybody, get back!

00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,879

Poncho, you son of a bitch!

00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,258

You released the tuberculosis

so you could steal from me?

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,676

That's right, baby.

00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,886

A lot of people

would pay top dollar

00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,847

to decimate the population.

00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,265

I'll take the highest bidder...

00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,100

Al-Qaeda, North Korea,

00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,311

Republicans, Shriners, balding

men that work out,

00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,314

people on the internet that are

only turned on by cartoons

00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,024

of Japanese teenagers...

00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,529

Anything is better than working

for you, you pompous, negligent,

00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,825

iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday-

bonus-giving mother...

00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,579

Come on!

00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,708

Aah!

00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,584

Get off!

00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,255

You guys!

00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,590

It's gonna burst! Go!

00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,549

Go, go, go!

00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,178

My foot is stuck.

00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,721

No! It's okay!

00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,806

It's okay. Just go.

Tell my family I love them.

00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,850

They may be hard to find 'cause

my wife kept her last name and

00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,374

she made the kids take it, too,

so, I-I don't know, you can...

00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,854

No!

00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,526

Let me ask you a question,

Ethan.

00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,403

Where's the anger

coming from, man?

00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,156

From Summer being a total bitch!

00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,077

Where's the anger coming from?

00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,664

My brother... took me fishing

once ...in the bushes...

00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,292

I can't... I can't...

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,003

He made me feel like a girl!

00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,380

I... he made me a girl!

00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,550

He didn't make

you anything, man.

00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,427

You are who you are.

00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,179

She is who she is.

00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515

Now, you go to her... brand-new.

00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,599

Come here, right now.

00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,558

Oh, my God.

00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,893

I'm so sorry, Ethan!

00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,019

I love you!

00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:14,937

I love you so much.

00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,981

Um...

00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,816

You did it again, cubbie.

00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,984

Come here.

00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,741

No! Stop! I hate this!

00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,786

Well, Christmas doesn't revolve

around what you hate, son.

00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,120

Well, then I hate Christmas!

00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,539

Enjoy being human!

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,249

You guys are gross and lame.

00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,417

My name's Reuben Ridley.

00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,546

You're inside me right now, but

by the end of this journey...

00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,630

Whoopsie.

00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,924

I'll be inside all of you.

00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,926

My story begins during

00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,345

the dot-com crash

in the early '90s.

00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,057

You can put your fingers

wherever you want.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059

Morty, you want to put it

on mute or something?

00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,477

I'm... I'm trying to

concentrate.

00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,562

Uh... Rick?

00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,813

Not now, Jerry.

00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,523

I've got much,

much smaller fish to fry.

00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,358

I wanted to say I'm sorry

I ever judged you.

00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,610

Right now,

you're my sanest relative.

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,362

Relative.

00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,572

R-relative size!

00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,365

Jerry, hand me a scalpel

and a bundle of dynamite.

00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,700

Morty, can you get

to the left nipple?

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,034

Are you kidding?

00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,619

I'm hoping I can get

to both of 'em, Rick.

00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,496

No, Morty, I'm talking about

Reuben's left nipple.

00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,278

We need to get

to the left nipple!

00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,960

The body is decaying.

00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,296

The arterial transit

system is useless.

00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,172

We can try the service shuttle.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,737

It's connected to

the skeletal system.

00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,759

That's why we call

it the bone train.

00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,887

Would you like to ride

the bone train, Miss?

00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,514

If it'll get us out of here.

00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,099

How about you, Morty?

00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,060

Would you like to

ride the bone train?

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,353

Why are you doing this bit?

00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,063

We're gonna die! Let's go!

00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,068

Well... I can see you're busy.

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,486

Merry Christmas, Rick.

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,366

There's no autopilot.

00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,578

One of us will have to stay

here and operate it manually.

00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,797

- Uh, well...

- No, you're... you're right.

00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,920

I-It was a dick move for me

to even pause like that.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,047

This is all my fault.

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,423

You go on.

00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,467

What the hell is that?

00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,801

E. Coli outbreak.

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,719

Hurry!

00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,015

Wait, there isan autopilot.

00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,683

Wait!

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,268

It's okay! Never mind!

00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,146

I wanted to sacrifice

myself anyway!

00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,910

They're... they're chewing

through the doors!

00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,403

We're in the areola, Rick...

00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,698

almost to the nipple, but we're

also in a really bad situation!

00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,450

I'm almost there, Morty!

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,879

Reports from all over the

country have been coming in

00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,256

about what appears

to be a giant,

00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,593

naked man over the

continental United States.

00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,054

We now go to Tom Randolph

in New York. Tom?

00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,307

Well, the eyes aren't twinkling

and the dimples aren't merry,

00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,311

but I'm standing under a

nose like a 70-mile cherry.

00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,521

Thank you, Tom.

00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,190

Let's go now to Eric McMahan

in Los Angeles.

00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,192

We've got feet here on

the West Coast, Bill...

00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,652

giant feet,

00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696

even relative to the

giant man's size,

00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,448

and you know what

they say about that.

00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,534

Well, if the old adage is true,

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:20,706

one can only wonder what's going

down in the Rocky Mountains.

00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,833

Wha?

00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,261

Oh my God, the track!

00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,637

It's Hepatitis A!

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,180

Aaaah!

00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,114

The nipple hole.

00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,366

It's beautiful.

00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,207

Oh, no!

00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,709

Holy crap!

00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,088

Whoa! It's Hepatitis C!

00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,219

Um... wait...

00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,764

Did we have some sort of

relationship with him?

00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,265

I think they're just like that?

00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,142

I think they're just good guys.

00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,644

Oh. Huh.

00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,062

Where's Dr. Bloom?

00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,689

I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead.

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,815

God damn it, Morty.

00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,650

I ask you to do one thing!

00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,352

Jerry doesn't know

what he's missing.

00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,705

He'll come around, Beth.

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,290

Christmas is a special time.

00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,417

It has funny ways of

bringing families together.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,835

I don't know, Jacob.

00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,963

Jerry got an invitation to be

alive today, and he rejected it.

00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,508

I don't know if

our marriage will...

00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679

It's raining blood!

00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,889

Oh, shit. Find Jerry.

00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,973

Oh, God.

00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,725

Jerry!

It's all right.

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,727

The TV says there's

nothing to worry about.

00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,647

The giant, naked sky

Santa has exploded.

00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:12,192

Blood and chunks of viscera are

raining down on the country.

00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,194

Everything should be fine.

00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,321

Oh, yes.

00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,697

Dad, can I have my phone back?

00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,199

A sure, sweetie. Here.

00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,618

Everybody, take a device.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,245

It'll help you relax.

00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,329

This is nice.

00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705

Yeah.

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,583

Look, I guess we really learned

something this Christmas, Jacob.

00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,751

No, we didn't, Dad.

00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,670

No, we didn't.

00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,714

Too bad about Dr. Bloom.

00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,966

He was a genius...

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,301

the only man capable of

creating a new Anatomy Park.

00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,887

Actually, I studied

Dr. Bloom's work.

00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,181

I-I-I-I believe I have the

knowledge necessary to create

00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,975

an entirely new,

much safer park.

00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,059

What about...

00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,394

Pirates of the Pancreas?

00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,896

I think it was one of the

most underrated attractions.

00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,482

Boo-yah!

Hold your breath.

00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,651

Hey, w-w-what the hell,

Rick?!

00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,653

What the hell, man! I liked her!

00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,613

I really had something

going there, Rick!

00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,948

Yeah, so I heard.

00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,700

you dodged a bullet,

Morty... trust me.

00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,493

Puffy vagina.

00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,828

W-what's wrong with that?

00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,371

That doesn't sound

like a problem to me.

00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,622

I don't know.

00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,790

Come on,

let's get some stuffing.

00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,250

I'm starving.

00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,545

Oh, unbelievable.

00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,922

We got... we got a bunch of

robot, computer people,

00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,675

sitting around with their faces

stuffed into computer screens.

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,802

Do you guys realize that

Christ was born today?

00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,347

Jesus Christ, our savior,

was born today.

00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,016

Are... are... are

you people even human?

00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,059

What kind of Christmas is this?

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,967

Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me?

00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:01,843

Loud and clear, Annie.

00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,928

Great.

00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,721

We're also on with Alejandro,

our Chief Imaginarian.

00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,847

Hey, Rick.

00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,141

Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter

from Microscopic Marketing,

00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,852

Zack from Organ Concepts,

and Jamie from New Media.

00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,228

Hey, everybody.

00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,271

Hi, how's it going? Hi, Rick.

00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,814

So, Pirates of the Pancreas.

00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,899

Yeah. Talk to me.

00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,400

Hey, Rick.

It's Alejandro speaking.

00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,654

Um, so, we asked ourselves,

internally...

00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,988

we asked ourselves over here,

00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,990

"Okay, what does

a pancreas do?"

00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,660

and the answer was,

"Does it make pirates?"

00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,787

No, it makes insulin, you know?

00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,538

So, we're starting with a new...

00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,999

Those guys are inside me, huh?

00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,751

Like, building a park?

00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,753

Those guys are inside you

building a piece of shit, Ethan!

00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,588

They're inside you building

a monument to compromise!

00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,298

Fuck 'em.

00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,383

Fuck those people.

00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,969

Fuck this whole thing, Ethan.

00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,512

Cool.

00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,596

And who pays me?

00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,808

Did you get any of that?

00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726

It's a good-a show!

00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,620

♪ On the Christmas Christmas ♪

00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,830

[ sniffs ]

00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,081

Mmm.

00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,667

Jerry, you are really

giving it to this ham.

00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,877

[ devices beeping ]

00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,379

Um, Merry Christmas.

00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,755

Hello?

00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,632

My parents are coming over

for the first time in years.

00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,759

Can we stow the

gadgets and look alive?

00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,635

Alive?

00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,720

For your parents?

00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,721

Mm, good one.

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,305

Hey, man! You "Hey, man!"

00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,266

This holiday is about humanity.

00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,950

You know, I thought it was

about being born half-god or something.

00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:01,811

Whatever.

00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,105

All electronic items are going

in the stocking... now.

00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,231

[ groans ]

00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,733

Dad, I'm not

giving you my phone.

00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,193

Put it in the stocking, Summer,

or I'm joining Facebook.

00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,361

[ gasps ]

00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,863

[ door opens ]

A-ho, ho, ho, everybody.

00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,067

More like

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:13,865

What is this?

00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,782

My parents are coming!

00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,867

Calm down, Jerry.

00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,068

This is Reuben, an old friend.

00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,327

Pearl Harbor.

00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,579

I check in on him once a year

and give him a little

00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,998

[burps] medical [burps] evaluation.

00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,874

Aww!

00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,126

Dad, that is so sweet!

00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,711

Yeah, it is.

00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,670

I don't get it.

00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,088

Korea.

00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,673

Don't worry about your

[burps] C-Christmas, Jerry.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,675

[burps] I'll be with Reuben in

my workshop while you guys are

00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,303

having another day in

Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.

00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,262

Huh.

00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,346

You think you know a guy.

00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,389

[ doorbell rings ]

00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,474

Okay, there's my parents.

00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,310

Now, remember...

no TV, no phones, no laptops.

00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,145

We are connecting this Christmas,

00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,606

like old-school

Jews on a Saturday.

00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,774

Hey, hey!

00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,025

Merry Christmas, son.

00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,526

Uh, hi.

00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,486

Can I help you?

00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,820

Jerry, this is Jacob.

00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,145

Didn't you get our text message?

00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,156

TOGETHER:

No!

00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,282

You must be Jerry.

00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,658

That's a fine-looking apron.

00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,785

Williams-Sonoma?

00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,119

I wish!

[ chuckles ]

00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,329

But thank you.

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,456

So, you're a...

friend of the family?

00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,626

Uh, the way we see it,

he's a part of the family.

00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,169

Wow.

00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,047

After your father's brush with

cancer and losing your uncle,

00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,425

we looked at life and wondered,

how have we spent it,

00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,302

and how do we spend

the rest of it?

00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,054

What are we going to

be when we die...

00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,306

A list of fears and questions

00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,392

or a collection

of real experiences?

00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,603

Holy crap.

Joyce, that's amazing.

00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,814

Then Jacob came into our lives,

00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,107

and... we're learning

to live again.

00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,192

All three of us.

00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,318

[ chuckles ]

00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,028

Cool.

00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:34,904

Eggnog?

00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,197

Now we are talking!

00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,074

This man's got the apron

and the eggnog, huh?

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,618

[ laughter ]

00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,869

Hi, Joyce. Leonard.

00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:42,829

Hello, there.

00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,788

Merry Christmas, man.

00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,032

Morty, a moment of your time?

00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,915

[ gurgling ]

00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:46,999

He's in bad shape, Morty.

00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,202

Aw, geez, Rick.

What'd you do?

00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,210

Gee, thanks, Morty.

00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,974

W-w-what kind of monster

do you think I am?

00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,839

I-I-I'm sitting here trying

to save the guy's life.

00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,923

I need your help.

00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,008

I want you to find

Dr. Xenon Bloom.

00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,218

He'll know what's going on.

00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,929

Uh, w-w-w-where...

where do I find Dr. Bloom?

00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,180

In Reuben.

00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,345

Reuben, Minne... Minnesota?

00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,808

Reuben on the table, Morty.

00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,228

Look, I-I-I [belches] I don't

have time for you to wrap your

00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,688

little walnut around everything.

00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,231

Just hold your breath

until the process is over

00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,524

or your lungs will collapse.

00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,608

What proc...

00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,569

[ screams ]

00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,279

[ grunts ]

00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,363

Hey, Dad, where's Morty?

00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,406

He's busy.

00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,491

[ screaming ]

00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,035

- [ panting ]

- Morty, can you hear me?

00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,911

Head north.

00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:24,996

Rick, where am I?

00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,664

Depending on my aim,

00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,124

you should be just

south of the entrance.

00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,500

MORTY:

Entrance to what?

00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,668

Welcome, Morty.

00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,586

Welcome...

00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,503

[ gasps ]

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:35,256

to Anatomy Park!

00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,508

It's a little business venture

I've been cooking up on the side

00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,803

with Dr. Bloom... an amusement

park inside a human body.

00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,889

Science isn't ch... [burps]

cheap, Morty.

00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,682

This should really help

put a dent in the overhead.

00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,808

Oh, my God!

00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,184

This is insane!

00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,603

Spleen Mountain?

00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,396

Bladder Falls?

Pirates of the Pancreas?

00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,522

RICK: You got a problem

with that last one, Morty?

00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,274

Huh? No, no.

00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,692

I'm just reading 'em out loud in

the order that I'm seeing 'em.

00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,776

RICK:

Okay. All right.

00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,069

If I sounded a little defensive,

00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,988

it's because Pirates of the

Pancreas was my baby.

00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,323

You know, I got...

00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,949

I got a lot of pushback

when I pitched it, Morty.

00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,474

I guess I'm still

a little defensive.

00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:04,827

Let's just find Dr. Bloom,

all right?

00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,704

I-I'm picking up a distress

signal in the liver, Morty.

00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,623

Proceed to the liver.

00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,295

ANNOUNCER:

Arriving at...

00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,130

[ bell dings ] liver.

00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,214

Ow!

00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,424

ANNOUNCER:

Mind the gap.

00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,720

It's really scary in here, Rick.

00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:23,971

RICK:

The liver's under maintenance.

00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:24,972

Reuben's seen some

rough years, Morty.

00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,515

Don't judge.

00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,100

You don't agree to have a theme

park built inside you if your

00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,685

life's going great.

00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:31,938

[ roars ]

00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,439

[ screams ]

Rick! It's a monster!

00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,732

No, no, no. Morty.

00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,568

The only monster here is

alco ...[belches] ...holism.

00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,403

That is an animatronic werewolf.

00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,821

[ grunts ]

00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:41,739

Who are you?!

00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,698

Answer me!

00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,908

Where'd you come from?

00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,392

My... my... my

grandpa Rick sent me!

00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,494

Poncho!

00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,870

That's quite enough.

00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,747

Morty, that's Poncho.

00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,290

This is Roger and Annie.

00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,750

[ gasps ]

00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,670

And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom.

00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,034

[ gasps ] Hey, Bloom, it's Rick.

00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,506

What the hell's going on here?

00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:03,052

I don't know why, but the entire

security system has shut down,

00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,681

and I'm afraid...

the exhibits are unlocked.

00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,932

Exhibits?

00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,643

Anatomy Park's greatest

attraction, young man,

00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,228

isn't the music

or the food or the...

00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,813

Pirates of the Pancreas.

00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,314

RICK:

Watch it.

00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,901

It is, first and foremost, a

living museum of humanity's most

00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,362

noble and ferocious diseases.

00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,279

Diseases?

00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,155

[ creature roars ]

00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,031

Hey, doc.

00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,366

I got news for you.

00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,036

Your living museum is

officially a wild safari!

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,414

Hepatitis A!

Run!

00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,499

[ all scream ]

00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,797

Oh, the food goes

in your mouth, girl.

00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,132

[ laughter ]

00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,049

[ laughing ] Oh, Jacob.

00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:42,967

[ laughs ]

00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,468

l-I'm sorry, Jacob.

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,793

I-I guess I'm still confused

about the precise nature and

00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,598

origin of your relationship

with my parents.

00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,434

Are you, like, uh... are you,

like, their caretaker?

00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,518

Is that what it is?

00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,841

We can go into

detail later, son.

00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,731

Now, wait.

Th-there's no point to secrecy.

00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,774

Let's all live and die honestly.

00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,444

Your mother and I have shared

40 years of each other, mind,

00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,238

body, and soul, and when

minds and souls are joined

00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,825

for eternity and when eternity

is at the door,

00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,162

it's an invitation to let go of

the body and an opportunity

00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,539

to share and experiment.

00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,249

Dad, please.

What are you saying?

00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,252

Whatever it is, it's beautiful,

Leonard, and we support you.

00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,504

Hey, speak for yourself,

because it [laughs nervously]

00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,798

sounds like you're about

to say Jacob is your lover.

00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,050

GRANDFATHER:

No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,218

Jacob is your mother's lover.

00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,178

[ chuckles ]

00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,429

I watch them...

00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,599

Sometimes from a chair and

sometimes from a closet,

00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,893

almost always dressed

as Superman.

00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,186

[ smooches ]

00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,105

Oh.

00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,566

Jerry, this ham has got

to be all you, right?

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,318

It's incredible.

00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,611

[ chuckles ]

00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,905

Happy human holiday, Dad.

00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,240

Aah!

00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,992

[ roars ]

00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,412

Hepatitis won't follow us

into the respiratory system.

00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,624

That's strange.

00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,917

Airflow is down 20%.

00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,002

So, the brain isn't

getting enough oxygen.

00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,088

That's why security's offline.

00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,048

Well, I guess we

better check it out.

00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,594

Hey! Wait for me!

00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,721

Put that back on!

00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,183

If we got up to the

Bronchial Catwalk,

00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,643

we could look for a blockage.

00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,936

I'll go.

00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,604

[ laughs nervously ]

00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,897

Don't be a hero, kid.

00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:20,981

I'm not.

00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,274

I'm doing it because it's fun.

00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,485

We shouldn't be here.

00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,029

Whatever you do, do not

fire that thing in here.

00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,031

We must save Reuben.

00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,741

This is my life's work.

00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:31,826

[ blob squeals ]

00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,188

[ gasps ]

It's all right, my dear.

00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,914

Nearly all human lungs contain a

strain of these bacteria,

00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,458

but the scar tissue

keeps them...

00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,418

dormant.

00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,670

Morty, get down!

00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,754

Whoa-ho-ho!

00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,005

Whoa!

00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,132

[ bacteria snarl ]

00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,341

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,177

[ grunting ]

00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,304

Oh, what are those things?

00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,682

Tuberculosis...

coming in fast!

00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,225

Not faster than a bullet!

00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,518

Aah!

00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,602

DR. BLOOM:

No!

00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,895

Do you know what you've done?!

00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,063

[ coughs ]

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,482

ALL:

Whoa!

00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,527

Get to the digestive tract!

00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,611

He's coughing!

00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,946

[ coughs ]

00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531

Whoaaaa!

00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,991

Don't let me die!

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,409

Just take a deep breath, Reuben.

00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,577

[ gasps ]

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,661

You're not gonna die!

00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,704

What's your name?

00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788

My name is...

00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:18,873

[ coughs ]

00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,207

Alexand...

[ screams ]

00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,585

[ coughs ]

00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,170

[ all grunt ]

00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,088

Rick... R-R-Reuben's got

tuberculosis!

00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,256

Oh, great work, Morty.

00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,008

Okay, I'll just

cure it and then...

00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,551

[ flatline ]

00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,635

Okay.

00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,887

Well, I can't cure death.

00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,013

This is bad, Morty.

00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,217

You're trapped in a dead man.

00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,682

Listen, if the situation

keeps darkening,

00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,518

do yourself a favor and pop by

Pirates of the Pancreas.

00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,854

Obviously I'm biased,

but I think it's great, Morty.

00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,981

It's a bunch of [belches]

pirates running around a

00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,150

[belches] pancreas.

00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,568

We don't whitewash it,

either, Morty.

00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,153

I mean, the pirates

are really rapey.

00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,072

The top priority is to get,

you know, you guys out of there,

00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,200

but I'm just saying, if that

becomes impossible, please,

00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,826

you gotta treat yourself.

00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,161

Oh, man.

00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,954

W-w-w-what is

that horrible smell?

00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,164

You mean the Panda Express?

00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,332

[ chuckles ]

00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,083

Kidding. I-I'm kidding.

00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,420

The body is beginning to

constrict and fill with gas.

00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,130

We're inside a corpse, my boy.

00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,257

Anatomy Park is doomed.

00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,592

Forget about the park, doctor!

00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,801

How do we get out?

00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,887

The digestive tract is the

evacuation route.

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,388

Get it?

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,599

There's an emergency station in

the colon with a ray that can

00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,059

enlarge us all.

00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,560

Everybody, head for the colon!

00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,688

Now I'm taking orders

from a 12-year-old boy?

00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,401

Morty, the scar sacs containing

the tuberculosis were sabotaged.

00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,570

This disaster was an inside job.

00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,572

Keep your eye on Annie.

00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,741

She was written up several times

00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,869

by her manager

at the Churro Stand.

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,704

Intestines are ahead to the

left, then to the right,

00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,249

then left, ET cetera.

00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,753

Hey, just so you know,

l-I-I'm actually 14.

00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,213

So, you know...

what?

00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756

Not 12.

00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,216

Okay.

00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,843

You know, because

he just said I was 12.

00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,220

Oh.

00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,805

Good for you.

00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,556

RICK:

Oof. Ugh. Morty.

00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,891

Strike one.

00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,101

[ groans ]

00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,560

[ festive music plays ]

00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,396

♪ It's a road of wonder ♪

00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,106

♪ A trail of food ♪

00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,985

♪ It's a pathway to break

up the bad and good ♪

00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,030

♪ It's a tube that digests

and then sends out the rest ♪

00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,118

♪ It's a small,

small intestine ♪

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,787

Lt goes on like this for miles.

00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,206

Then we get to the

large intestine!

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,457

[ creature roars ]

00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,334

Shh!

I hear something.

00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,088

[ roars ]

00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,381

Don't move.

00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:36,218

Gonorrhea can't see

us if we don't move.

00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,679

[ roars ]

00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,638

Wait, I was wrong.

00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,803

I was thinking of a T. Rex.

00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,808

[ all scream ]

00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,351

Move!

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,231

We're sitting ducks!

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,233

Doc, didn't you say that the

body was filling with gas?

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,609

Yes. Why?

00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,570

Kid, you're a genius.

00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,654

Are you mad?!

00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,947

Everybody, in here!

00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,157

[ roars ]

00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,366

Hey, Gonorrhea!

00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,910

How's this for a

burning sensation?

00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,751

[ groans ]

00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,044

Huh.

00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,795

[ giggles ]

00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,214

♪ Drummer drum drum

drum drum drum ♪

00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,258

♪ Drum drum drum

drum drum drum ♪

00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,343

♪ Christmas drums ♪

00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,510

Oh, sing it, Summer.

00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,721

♪ Christmas drums being played

by a b-o-o-o-y ♪

00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,014

Oh, I love to hear you sing.

00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,098

[ laughs ]

00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,850

[ scatting ]

00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,060

Jerry, come on.

00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,269

This is what you wanted.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,354

I get it, Beth.

00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,556

Be careful what you wish for.

00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,231

I'm being punished

for taking your iPad.

00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,191

What?

00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,692

Jerry, let that stuff go, okay?

00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,235

I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier.

00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,279

Let's just be here.

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,281

[ grunts ] Summer!

00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,366

Ethan?

00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,367

What are you doing here?

00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,409

I've been texting you for hours!

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,619

What the hell?!

00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703

I don't have my phone!

00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,163

I'm doing a human holiday!

00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,957

Well, did you even consider

how that might make me feel?!

00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,209

How you feel?!

00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,544

Why is everything always

happening to you?!

00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,463

Summer, do you have a boyfriend?

00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,006

Yeah, do you, Summer?

00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:56,882

I don't know, Ethan.

00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,092

Do I?!

00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,969

Jerry, no disrespect,

but you really need to

00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,971

connect more with

your family, man.

00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,308

I should be able to access the

backup generator to get the

00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,684

growth ray online.

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,728

If it works, we'll be

regular-sized in a few minutes.

00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,893

I just hope Reuben's not in a

room with white carpets

00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940

or upholstery.

00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:13,982

[ rumbling ]

00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,359

What the hell is that?

00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,568

The Sphincter Dam.

00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,404

We built it when Reuben became

incontinent,

00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,281

but it was not designed

to hold a corpse load.

00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,367

I've almost got it.

00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,119

Everybody, move

inside the circle.

00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,370

[ bacterium squeals ]

00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,329

Poncho?

00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,622

What is this in your backpack?

00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,958

That's Bubonic plague!

00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,482

What are you doing

with that, Poncho?

00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,335

[ gasps ]

00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420

Everybody, get back!

00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,879

Poncho, you son of a bitch!

00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,258

You released the tuberculosis

so you could steal from me?

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,676

That's right, baby.

00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,886

A lot of people

would pay top dollar

00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,847

to decimate the population.

00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,265

I'll take the highest bidder...

00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,100

Al-Qaeda, North Korea,

00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,311

Republicans, Shriners, balding

men that work out,

00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,314

people on the internet that are

only turned on by cartoons

00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,024

of Japanese teenagers...

00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,529

Anything is better than working

for you, you pompous, negligent,

00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,825

iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday-

bonus-giving mother...

00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,993

[ screams ]

00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,244

[ grunts ]

00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,579

Come on!

00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,830

[ groans ]

00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,747

[ laughs ]

00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:11,832

[ bacterium squeals ]

00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,708

Aah!

00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,584

[ grunts ] Get off!

00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,253

[ screams ]

00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,337

[ rumbling ]

00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,255

You guys!

00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,590

It's gonna burst! Go!

00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,549

Go, go, go!

00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,260

[ all panting ]

00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,178

My foot is stuck.

00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,721

No! It's okay!

00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,806

It's okay. Just go.

Tell my family I love them.

00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,850

They may be hard to find 'cause

my wife kept her last name and

00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,374

she made the kids take it, too,

so, I-I don't know, you can...

00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,854

No!

00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,689

[ sobs ]

00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,526

Let me ask you a question,

Ethan.

00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,403

Where's the anger

coming from, man?

00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,156

From Summer being a total bitch!

00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,077

Where's the anger coming from?

00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,664

My brother... took me fishing

once ...in the bushes...

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,999

[ whimpers ]

00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,292

[ voice breaking ]

I can't... I can't...

00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,376

[ sobs ]

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,003

He made me feel like a girl!

00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,380

I... he made me a girl!

00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,548

[ sobs ]

00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,550

He didn't make

you anything, man.

00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,427

You are who you are.

00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,179

She is who she is.

00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515

Now, you go to her... brand-new.

00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,599

Come here, right now.

00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,558

Oh, my God.

00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,893

I'm so sorry, Ethan!

00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,019

I love you!

00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:14,937

I love you so much.

00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,563

[ both moaning ]

00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,981

Um...

00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,816

You did it again, cubbie.

00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,984

Come here.

00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:25,447

[ both moaning ]

00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,741

No! Stop! I hate this!

00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,786

Well, Christmas doesn't revolve

around what you hate, son.

00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,120

Well, then I hate Christmas!

00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,539

Enjoy being human!

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,249

You guys are gross and lame.

00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,417

My name's Reuben Ridley.

00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,546

You're inside me right now, but

by the end of this journey...

00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,630

Whoopsie.

00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,924

ANIMATRONIC REUBEN:

I'll be inside all of you.

00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,926

My story begins during

00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,345

the dot-com crash

in the early '90s.

00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,888

[ whirring ]

00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,057

You can put your fingers

wherever you want.

00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059

RICK: Morty, you want to put it

on mute or something?

00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,477

I'm... I'm trying to

concentrate.

00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,562

Uh... Rick?

00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,813

Not now, Jerry.

00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,523

I've got [belches] much,

much smaller fish to fry.

00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,358

I wanted to say I'm sorry

I ever judged you.

00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,610

Right now,

you're my sanest relative.

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,362

Relative.

00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,572

R-relative size!

00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,365

Jerry, hand me a scalpel

and a bundle of dynamite.

00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,700

Morty, can you get

to the left nipple?

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,034

Are you kidding?

00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,619

I'm hoping I can get

to both of 'em, Rick.

00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,496

No, Morty, I'm talking about

Reuben's left nipple.

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,831

[ rumbling ]

00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,915

[ grunts ]

00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,278

We need to get

to the left nipple!

00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,960

The body is decaying.

00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,296

The arterial transit

system is useless.

00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,172

We can try the service shuttle.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,737

It's connected to

the skeletal system.

00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,759

That's why we call

it the bone train.

00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,887

Would you like to ride

the bone train, Miss?

00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,514

If it'll get us out of here.

00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,099

How about you, Morty?

00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,060

Would you like to

ride the bone train?

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,353

Why are you doing this bit?

00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,063

We're gonna die! Let's go!

00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,068

Well... I can see you're busy.

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,486

Merry Christmas, Rick.

00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,865

[ groans ]

00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,366

There's no autopilot.

00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,578

One of us will have to stay

here and operate it manually.

00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,797

- Uh, well...

BLOOM: No, you're... you're right.

00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,920

I-It was a dick move for me

to even pause like that.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,047

This is all my fault.

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,423

You go on.

00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,382

[ bacteria screeching ]

00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,467

What the hell is that?

00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,801

E. Coli outbreak.

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,719

Hurry!

00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,012

[ screams ]

00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:12,971

[ grunts ]

00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,015

Wait, there isan autopilot.

00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,683

Wait!

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,268

It's okay! Never mind!

00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,146

I wanted to sacrifice

myself anyway!

00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,910

They're... they're chewing

through the doors!

00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:26,943

[ screams ]

00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,403

We're in the areola, Rick...

00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,698

almost to the nipple, but we're

also in a really bad situation!

00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,450

RICK:

I'm almost there, Morty!

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,879

Reports from all over the

country have been coming in

00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,256

about what appears

to be a giant,

00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,593

naked man over the

continental United States.

00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,054

We now go to Tom Randolph

in New York. Tom?

00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,307

Well, the eyes aren't twinkling

and the dimples aren't merry,

00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,311

but I'm standing under a

nose like a 70-mile cherry.

00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,521

Thank you, Tom.

00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,190

Let's go now to Eric McMahan

in Los Angeles.

00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,192

We've got feet here on

the West Coast, Bill...

00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,652

giant feet,

00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696

even relative to the

giant man's size,

00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,448

and you know what

they say about that.

00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,534

Well, if the old adage is true,

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:20,706

one can only wonder what's going

down in the Rocky Mountains.

00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,833

Wha?

00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,377

[ screams ]

00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,550

[ bacteria screeching ]

00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,261

Oh my God, the track!

00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,637

It's Hepatitis A!

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,180

Aaaah!

00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,026

[ screams ]

00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,487

[ gasps ]

00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,114

The nipple hole.

00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,366

It's beautiful.

00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,123

[ roars ]

00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,207

Oh, no!

00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,709

Holy crap!

00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,088

Whoa! It's Hepatitis C!

00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,631

[ grunts ]

00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,219

Um... wait...

00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,764

Did we have some sort of

relationship with him?

00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,265

I think they're just like that?

00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,142

I think they're just good guys.

00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,644

Oh. Huh.

00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,062

RICK:

Where's Dr. Bloom?

00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,689

I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead.

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,815

God damn it, Morty.

00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,650

I ask you to do one thing!

00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,352

Jerry doesn't know

what he's missing.

00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,705

He'll come around, Beth.

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,290

Christmas is a special time.

00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,417

It has funny ways of

bringing families together.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,835

I don't know, Jacob.

00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,963

Jerry got an invitation to be

alive today, and he rejected it.

00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,508

I don't know if

our marriage will...

00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,637

[ gasps ]

00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679

It's raining blood!

00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,889

Oh, shit. Find Jerry.

00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,973

Oh, God.

00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,725

Jerry!

It's all right.

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,727

The TV says there's

nothing to worry about.

00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,647

The giant, naked sky

Santa has exploded.

00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:12,192

Blood and chunks of viscera are

raining down on the country.

00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,194

Everything should be fine.

00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,278

[ all sigh ]

00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,321

Oh, yes.

00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,697

Dad, can I have my phone back?

00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,199

A sure, sweetie. Here.

00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,618

Everybody, take a device.

00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,245

It'll help you relax.

00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,329

This is nice.

00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705

Yeah.

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,583

Look, I guess we really learned

something this Christmas, Jacob.

00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,751

No, we didn't, Dad.

00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,670

No, we didn't.

00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,714

RICK:

Too bad about Dr. Bloom.

00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,966

He was a genius...

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,301

the only man capable of

creating a new Anatomy Park.

00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,887

Actually, I studied

Dr. Bloom's work.

00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,181

I-I-I-I believe I have the

knowledge necessary to create

00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,975

an entirely new,

much safer park.

00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,059

What about...

00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,394

Pirates of the Pancreas?

00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,896

I think it was one of the

most underrated attractions.

00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,482

Boo-yah!

Hold your breath.

00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,651

Hey, w-w-what the hell,

Rick?!

00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,653

What the hell, man! I liked her!

00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,613

I really had something

going there, Rick!

00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,948

Yeah, so I heard.

00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,700

[belches] you dodged a bullet,

Morty... trust me.

00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,493

Puffy vagina.

00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,828

W-what's wrong with that?

00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,371

That doesn't sound

like a problem to me.

00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,622

I don't know.

00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,790

Come on,

let's get some stuffing.

00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,250

I'm starving.

00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,168

[ gadgets beeping ]

00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,545

Oh, unbelievable.

00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,922

We got... we got a bunch of

robot, computer people,

00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,675

sitting around with their faces

stuffed into computer screens.

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,802

Do you guys realize that

Christ was born today?

00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,347

Jesus Christ, our savior,

was born today.

00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,016

Are... are... are

you people even human?

00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,059

What kind of Christmas is this?

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,967

ANNIE:

Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me?

00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:01,843

Loud and clear, Annie.

00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,928

ANNIE:

Great.

00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,721

We're also on with Alejandro,

our Chief Imaginarian.

00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,847

ALEJANDRO:

Hey, Rick.

00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,141

Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter

from Microscopic Marketing,

00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,852

Zack from Organ Concepts,

and Jamie from New Media.

00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,228

Hey, everybody.

00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,271

[on phone]

Hi, how's it going? Hi, Rick.

00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,814

ANNIE:

So, Pirates of the Pancreas.

00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,899

Yeah. Talk to me.

00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,400

Hey, Rick.

It's Alejandro speaking.

00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,654

Um, so, we asked ourselves,

internally...

00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,988

we asked ourselves over here,

00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,990

"Okay, what does

a pancreas do?"

00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,660

and the answer was,

"Does it make pirates?"

00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,787

No, it makes insulin, you know?

00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,538

So, we're starting with a new...

00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,999

Those guys are inside me, huh?

00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,751

Like, building a park?

00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,753

Those guys are inside you

building a piece of shit, Ethan!

00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,588

They're inside you building

a monument to compromise!

00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,298

Fuck 'em.

00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,383

Fuck those people.

00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,969

Fuck this whole thing, Ethan.

00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,512

Cool.

00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,596

And who pays me?

00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,808

Did you get any of that?

00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726

It's a good-a show!