Пёс-газонокосильщик

00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:35,827

Beautiful putt right there...

00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:36,744

Good birdie.

00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,122

That's only the...

eighth birdie of the day.

00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,623

What?

00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,749

Why are you looking at me?

00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,418

You want to go outside?

00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,711

Outside?

00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,006

Outside?

00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:55,680

Are you kidding me?! Come on!

00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,639

Oh, my God.

00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,724

W-what's wrong?

00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,725

Your idiot dog!

00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,518

Oh, he...

he didn't mean it, Dad.

00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,436

D-did you, Snuffles?

00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,395

You're a good boy.

00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,147

Don't praise him now, Morty!

00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,106

He just peed on the carpet!

00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,190

Bad dog! Bad!

00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,191

Morty, come on.

00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,192

I need your help tonight.

00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,944

Hey, wait, hold on a second,

Rick.

00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,548

You wouldn't by any chance have

some sort of crazy science thing

00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,240

you could whip up that might

help make this dog a little

00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,575

smarter, would you?

00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,118

I thought the whole point

of having a dog was to

00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,369

feel superior, Jerry.

00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,662

If I were you,

I wouldn't pull that thread.

00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,955

Come on, Morty.

00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,791

Listen, Rick, if you're

gonna stay here rent-free

00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,002

and use my son for

your stupid science,

00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,546

the least you could do is

put a little bit of it to use

00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,797

for the family.

00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,716

You make that dog smart or...

00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,633

Morty's grounded!

00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,135

Ha-ha! Aw, man!

00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,971

Boy, you really got me up

against a wall this time, Jerry.

00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,374

All right, Ruffles...

What's his name?

00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,270

Snuffles.

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Snuffles, shake.

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Roll over.

00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,569

Go to the bathroom.

00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,238

- Holy crap!

- No way.

00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,200

Yeah, you're at the top

of your game now, Jerry.

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Have fun.

00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,076

Come on, Morty.

00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,286

That was fantastic, Rick!

00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,829

Yeah, Morty, if you

00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,581

like that, boy, you're... you're

really going to flip your lid

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:04,499

over this one.

00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:05,958

W-w-w-what is it?

00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,461

It's a device, Morty, that

when you put it in your ear,

00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,087

you can enter

people's dreams, Morty.

00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,292

It's just like that movie that

you keep crowing about.

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,883

You talking about "Inception"?

00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,718

That's right, Morty.

This is gonna be a lot like

00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,845

that, except, you know, it's

gonna maybe make sense.

00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,180

"Inception" made sense.

00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,765

You don't have to

try to impress me, Morty.

00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,725

Listen, tonight we're gonna go

into the home of your math teacher,

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Mr. Goldenfold, and

we're g... we're gonna incept

00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,939

the idea in his brain to give

you A's in math, Morty.

00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,482

That way you can, you know...

00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,926

y-you're gonna help me with my

science, Morty, all the time.

00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,611

Geez, Rick, in the time it

took you to make this thing,

00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:34,737

couldn't you have just,

00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,364

you know, helped me

with my homework?

00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,698

Are you listening to me, Morty?

00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:38,783

Homework is stupid.

00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,451

The whole point is

to get less of it.

00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,119

J-J... come on,

let... j...

00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,746

let's just get over there

and deal with this thing.

00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,456

W-we're gonna incept

your teacher.

00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,917

Y-y-y-y-y-you're

frustrating me.

00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,214

You don't know me!

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Nice, Mrs. Pancakes...

real nice.

00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,470

Next week on "The Days And

Nights Of Mrs. Pancakes"...

00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:01,639

You don't know me!

00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,225

Then let me get to know you,

damn it!

00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,893

Uh-oh! Spoilers!

00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,812

I'm a full season behind.

00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,438

Wow, Rick, I can't believe

we're sitting around,

00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,858

standing around in

Mr. Goldenfold's house.

00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:12,942

It's really weird.

00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,736

It's about to get a whole

lot weirder, Morty.

00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,662

Wheat Thins. Wheat Thins.

00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,913

I'll take two.

00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,957

Oh, I think you've

had enough, sir.

00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,041

You don't know me.

00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,421

All right, Morty,

time to make our move.

00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,214

Make it bounce.

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No, you didn't.

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Oh, jiggle it now.

00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,509

You better stop with that.

00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,761

Allahu Akbar!

00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,366

We're gonna take control

of this plane!

00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,432

We're gonna 9/1 1 it unless

Morty Smith gets better grades

00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,391

in math!

00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,715

Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!

00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,102

The name's not buddy.

00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,604

It's Goldenfold.

00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,230

Nice to wheat you!

00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,401

Take cover, Morty!

00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,322

Ooh!

00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,526

Goldenfold's got more control

here than I anticipated.

00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,617

I mean, the guy teaches

high-school math.

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,578

l-I-I-l didn't take him

for an active dreamer.

00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,538

We got to take him out

so he wakes up, Morty.

00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,956

But we can't get killed.

00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,374

If you get killed in

someone else's dream,

00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,001

you die for real, Morty.

00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,165

What?! Are you kidding me?!

00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,170

Ohhhhhh!

00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,546

Don't be a baby!

00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,548

You avoid getting shot in real

life all the time, Morty.

00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,508

Just do the same thing here,

and we'll be fine!

00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,594

Now bring me my slippers.

00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:25,348

Now, be my footstool, Snuffles.

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,933

This is what I'm talking about.

00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,935

This is a dog.

00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:29,936

Oh, yeah.

00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,729

This should play out just fine.

00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,482

You said the same thing,

equally sarcastically,

00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,067

at our wedding and guess what.

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:45,868

Oh, my God.

00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,119

He's trying to tell

us something.

00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,537

That is so awesome.

00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,668

Aw, he's saying

"I love lasagna."

00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,173

He's saying

"I love Obama."

00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,591

So cute!

00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,718

I'm posting this online,

like, right now.

00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,220

I should call Bob Saget.

00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,554

Is that still a thing?

00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:16,899

Hmm?

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,242

Goldenfold, we're coming out!

00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,326

We just want to talk!

00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,786

Why would I negotiate with you?

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,539

Because we're both rational

adults that don't want anything

00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,623

bad to happen.

00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,041

And because I

have a human shield.

00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,126

Mrs. Pancakes!

00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,505

Oh, no, Morty.

00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,798

His subconscious is panicking.

00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,383

Run!

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,142

Relax, Morty.

00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:51,976

Look!

00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,260

Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute.

00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,395

Come on!

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,772

Hey, you don't know me!

00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,232

Oh, no, Rick, look!

00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,692

Goldenfold landed the plane,

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and he's created a mechanical

arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes

00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,655

out of the air while he lets us

fall into a giant vat of lava!

00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,948

Pretty concise, Morty.

00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,825

Looks like we've merely

prolonged the inevitable.

00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:08,993

That's it, Morty!

00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,202

Prolonging the inevitable!

00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,079

Listen, if we go into Mrs.

Pancakes' dream,

00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:14,290

everything will go

100 times slower, Morty.

00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,833

That'll buy us some time to

figure this out!

00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:16,917

You don't know m...

00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,547

All right, let's go.

00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,889

Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird.

00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,640

Don't judge, Morty.

00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,725

Okay.

00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,268

All right, well...

00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,686

Look, Mrs. Pancakes

is right over there.

00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,313

I'll just go ask her to tell

Goldenfold not to kill us

00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,689

when she wakes up.

00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:41,294

Whoa, whoa, Morty, the trick to

incepting is making people think

00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,526

they came up with the idea.

00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,986

Listen to me.

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,530

If we're gonna incept Mrs.

Pancakes, we have to blend.

00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,491

I'll talk to you after lunch.

00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,577

Ooh, hey!

00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,788

Ooh, oh!

00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:54,997

Oh, man.

00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,999

- Come and join us.

- I'm sorry. No, no.

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- Ooh, come here!

- No, thanks!

00:06:58,543 --> 00:06:59,919

Ooh, wow!

Come over here, baby!

00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,295

No, I'm okay.

00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,298

Whoa!

00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,841

Summer?!

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,009

Hey, there, stranger.

00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,719

What do you think

of these things?

00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,596

Ohh! Oh! Gross!

00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,764

Gross!

00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,057

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,600

What's the matter with you,

Morty? Calm down!

00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,143

You're kind of killing

the vibe in here.

00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,228

It's S-S-S-Summer!

00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,729

Aw, geez.

00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,148

Looks like Goldenfold has some

predilections so shameful he

00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,150

buries them in the dreams

of the people in his dreams,

00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:25,569

including a pervy attraction

to your underage sister.

00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,154

Can you blame him?

00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,614

Come on, old man, little boy.

00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,367

Let's make an

inter-generational sandwich.

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,327

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,851

Put some clothes on,

for pete's sake!

00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:35,955

This is disgusting!

00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:36,914

I'm gonna puke!

00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,749

I can't take it, Rick!

00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:41,961

Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure

chamber are punishable by death!

00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,170

Off with their heads!

00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,714

Time to go another

dream deep, Morty!

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,807

What the hell?

00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,768

Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream

version of Mrs. Pancakes' dream

00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,146

version of a Centaur be dreaming

00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,772

about a scary place

like this, Rick?

00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:02,731

Geez, I don't know, Morty.

00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,976

Wha-what do you want from me?

00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,821

Welcome to your nightmare,

bitch!

00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,906

Oh, here we go!

00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,366

Holy crap!

00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,785

Looks like some sort of legally

safe knock-off of an '80s horror

00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,621

character with miniature swords

for fingers instead of knives.

00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,623

I'm Scary Terry.

00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,876

You can run,

but you can't hide, bitch!

00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,588

Whoa! Hey, buddy.

00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,214

What you got going on there?

00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,716

Snuffles fix.

00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,050

Make better.

00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,303

Humans understand Snuffles now?

00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,680

That... is... awesome!

00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,099

Snuffles want to be understood.

00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,560

Snuffles need to be understood.

00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,187

Okay, yeah.

00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,938

I get what Beth

was talking about.

00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,106

Fun's over.

00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,399

Whoa, Dad, you can't, like,

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,693

endow a creature with

sentience and then rip it away.

00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,611

Why not?

00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,528

I don't know.

00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,156

It's Indian giving.

00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,992

A sophisticated predator,

nature's perfect killing

00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,537

machine, the vicious wolf

stalks its prey with purpose

00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:00,122

and skill.

00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,000

It was only with years of

selective breeding and genetic

00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,795

altering that this noble beast

was transformed into man's

00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,673

subservient little buddy.

00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,138

Aw! Oh, my God!

00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,099

He recognizes the

other dogs on TV.

00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,102

♪ "A," "B" ♪

00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,854

♪ His name is Scary Terry ♪

00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:25,981

♪ "C," "D" ♪

00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,233

♪ He's very scary ♪

00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,734

Holy crap!

00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,611

We have to escape into

someone else's dreams, Morty!

00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,112

Ohhhhh!

00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,782

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!

00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,242

♪ "E," "F" ♪

00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,786

♪ He'll design your death ♪

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,162

The little girl!

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:43,749

Huh?

00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,877

♪ "J," "K,"

He'll really ruin your day ♪

00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,337

Are you kidding me?

This again?

00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,297

Oh, man, it looks like we've

hit dream bedrock here, Morty.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,382

Oh, geez, Rick.

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,466

W-w-whoa, this isn't good.

00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,843

Nothing but fear from

here on out, bitch!

00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:55,803

Ohhhh!

00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:56,720

Holy crap, Morty.

00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,013

He can travel through dreams.

00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,640

He can travel through dreams!

00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,141

We're so screwed!

00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,319

Where are my testicles, Summer?

00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,324

Where are my testicles, Summer?

00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,409

They were removed.

00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,994

Where have they gone?

00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,662

Oh, wow.

00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,164

That's an intense line of

questioning, Snuffles.

00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,749

Do not call me that!

00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,086

"Snuffles" was my slave name.

00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,381

You shall now call me Snowball

because my fur is pretty

00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,590

and white.

00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,885

Okay, Snowball,

just calm down, okay?

00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,970

You're scaring me.

00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,263

Scaring you?

00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,017

Tell me, Summer, if a human

was born with stumpy legs,

00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,102

would they breed it with

another deformed human

00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,397

and put their children on

display like the Dachshund?

00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,356

Uhhh...

00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,274

Hey.

00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,026

Oh, wow.

00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,870

Okay, is... is...

is everything okay in here?

00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,363

Jerry, come to rub my

face in urine again?

00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,823

No!

00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:02,328

No, we were... uh, just seeing

if Summer wanted to ...uh...

00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,581

Go on, um, one of our famous

midnight family walks!

00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,957

Yeah. Totally.

00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,042

Let's go.

00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:14,590

You will walk when it

is time to walk.

00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,388

What are we here for again?

Incepting?

00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,682

We're trying to incept

me to get an "A" in math?

00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:24,850

Oh, yeah.

00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,978

Buckle up, bitch!

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,857

Man, he sure says "Bitch" a lot!

00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,526

You can run,

but you can't hide, bitch!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,612

Hold on, Morty.

Y-you know what?

00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,031

He keeps saying we can

run but we can't hide.

00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,282

I say we try hiding.

00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,742

But that's the

opposite of what...

00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,744

Yeah, well, since when are

we taking this guy's advice on anything?

00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,828

Hey, you know what?

00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,389

You got a really

good point there, Rick.

00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,124

Like, if the truth was that we

could hide, it's not like

00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,335

he'd be sharing that

information with us, you know?

00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,879

I-I-I think it's a good idea,

Rick.

00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:54,963

Worst-case scenario...

00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,507

we're back to running.

00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,721

Wow, you know what?

00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,556

I mean, it looks like we could

have just hid this whole time.

00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,016

Boy, Rick,

that was some good thinking.

00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,518

Thanks, Morty.

00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,269

Yeah, it's nice to be on the

same page every once in a while.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,188

You can run...

00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,149

but you can't hide!

00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,946

Oh, this is perfect, Morty. Look at that.

00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,197

He's getting sleepy.

00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,241

Just a little bit longer

before he calls it a day.

00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,867

That's when we make our move.

00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,835

Snuffles, we didn't

mean you any harm!

00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,920

This is a huge misunderstanding.

00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,797

Dad, he wants to

be called Snowball.

00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,215

Well, I'm not calling him that.

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,341

That's ridiculous.

00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,635

You're being very

aggressive, Jerry.

00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,471

Perhaps tomorrow Dr. Scraps

will solve that problem

00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,889

with a bit of surgery.

00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,893

You think you can control

me with a haircut?

00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,070

Hi, honey. You're home early.

How was your day?

00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,447

I don't want to talk about it!

00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,240

Oh, of course. You never

want to talk about it.

00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,741

Get off my back, bitch!

00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,204

Out there.

Not in here.

00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,166

Yeah, I know, I know.

00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,794

I shouldn't take my anger

out on you or Scary Brandon.

00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,379

I love you, Melissa.

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,381

I love you, too, Terry.

00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,134

Morty, this is perfect.

00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,510

After a little scary coitus,

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,138

they should be fast asleep

and then we'll incept him.

00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,644

Looks like Scary Terry's

having a nightmare.

00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:33,937

Oh, boy, Rick.

00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,315

I can only imagine what horrible

things must, you know...

00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,901

scare Scary Terry.

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:41,862

Oh, no!

00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,238

I'm late to class, bitch!

00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,698

Oh, no!

00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,283

I'm not wearing any pants!

00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,413

Ah, well, Mr. Terry, why don't

you tell the whole class

00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,791

the proper wordplay to use when

one is chasing one's victim

00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,085

through a pumpkin patch?

00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,129

Oh... um...

00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,088

"Bitch."

00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,091

Oh, come on, Terry,

you can't think of a pun

00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,761

involving pumpkins, bitch?

00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,012

Hey, leave him alone!

00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,472

Yeah, this is a

bunch of bullcrap.

00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,350

Who cares what stupid pun you

make when you kill someone?

00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,514

Why don't you let the poor guy

say whatever he wants?

00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,312

Well, I never!

00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,648

I-I see no reason to

stand here and take this.

00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:21,109

You're putting too much pressure

on yourself, Scary Terry.

00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,154

You know, I mean, y-you're

perfectly scary enough as it is.

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:27,991

Hey, yo, Scary T., don't even

trip about your pants ...dawg.

00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,535

Here's a pair on us, fool.

00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,537

Aww, bitch.

00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,038

I don't know what to say.

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,039

You don't need to say anything.

00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,123

We got you, dawg.

00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:35,999

You're our boy, dawg.

00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,543

Don't even trip.

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,010

Oh, hey, it's you guys!

00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,472

I haven't seen him

this relaxed in years.

00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,433

If you guys ever need anything,

just say the word.

00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,893

As a matter of fact, Terry,

00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,618

there is something

you could help us with.

00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,107

♪ "Q," "R,"

You won't get very far ♪

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,608

I always hated that song!

00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,574

These halves don't

belong together, bitch!

00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,496

Sex is sacred!

00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,964

This is because you don't give

Morty Smith good grades, bitch!

00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,343

Holy crap! God damn!

00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,848

I know one thing for sure...

I'm giving Morty an "A" in math,

00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,808

and that's my idea.

00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,019

That is an original thought.

00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,192

What the hell?

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,737

Out of the frying pan dot,

dot, dot, huh, Morty?

00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,280

Oh, man, what's going on?

00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,532

Well, it's possible that

your dog became self-aware

00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,659

and made modifications on

the cognition amplifier,

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,661

then turned on Jerry, Beth,

and Summer after learning

00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,872

about humanity's cruel

subjugation of his species,

00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,999

but your guess is as

good as mine, Morty.

00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,127

I can't believe how

mean Snuffles got just

00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,670

because he's smart.

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,673

- This is why I choose to get C's.

- Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.

00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,591

Dad!

00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,675

Rick!

00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,470

Oh, thank God, Morty.

00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,554

Oh, you're welcome.

00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,014

All right,

let's get out of here.

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,558

If we hurry we can set

up camp in a sewer tunnel

00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,603

or something before the dogs

completely take over.

00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,478

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:20,562

We're not going anywhere.

00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,647

This is my house.

00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,689

I'm not abandoning it.

00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,024

It's all over, Jerry.

00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,109

The dogs are on a path

to total world domination.

00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,904

But, hey, at least they know not

to piss on your carpet, right?

00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,072

Wait a minute.

00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,156

I have an idea.

00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,702

Gentlemen,

a moment of your time.

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,830

See that?

00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,707

I'm peeing all over

your special guns.

00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,793

That means I own them.

00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:47,339

Bad person. Bad.

00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,840

Ooh, great plan, Jerry.

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,509

Bring the boy to me.

00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,014

You were always kind to me,

Morty.

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,517

That's why I will leave

you with your testicles.

00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:02,688

From now on, you will be my best

friend and live by my side.

00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,231

Th-thanks, Snuffles.

00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,194

Begin phase two.

00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,196

Fighting continues as the dog

00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,448

army captures the

Eastern seaboard.

00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,493

It appears clear at this time

that the era of human

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,579

superiority has come

to a bitter end.

00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,376

Please! Please don't kill me!

00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,503

What's she saying, Bill?

00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,256

I think she's saying,

"I love lasagna."

00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,943

Mmm.

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,570

Thank you, Fido.

00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,989

Rick!

00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,115

I thought you were dead!

00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,116

No, no, no,

I was just playing dead.

00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,367

Good news, though, Morty.

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,493

This whole thing's

gonna be over really soon.

00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,369

What?

00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,454

It's a dream, Morty.

00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,663

We're in your dog's dream.

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,988

The night the dogs captured us,

00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,250

after you cried and

crapped your pants, we...

00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,668

we all went to sleep.

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,837

Then I used my dream inceptors

to put the two of us inside

00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,046

Snuffles' dream.

00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,673

But i-it's been

like a whole year!

00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,216

It's been six hours.

00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,427

Dreams move one one-hundredth

the speed of reality,

00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,512

and dog time is

one-seventh human time.

00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,397

So, you know, every day

here is like a minute.

00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,975

It's like "Inception," Morty, so

if it's confusing and stupid,

00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,685

then so is everyone's

favorite movie.

00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,770

Aw, man.

00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,146

I really liked this life.

00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,565

Well, at least I didn't

really crap my pants.

00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,650

No, no, that happened before

you went to sleep, Morty.

00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,611

You're sleeping in

your crap right now.

00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,404

Out of all the things that

happened to you,

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,989

that was the only real

thing that, you know,

00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,532

is that you crapped your pants.

00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,159

I mean, it's a mess out there.

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,828

I got some on my hands, Morty,

and then I got it on the dream

00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,663

inceptor, and a piece

fell in my mouth.

00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:44,915

Aw, man, geez!

00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,166

Seriously?

00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,667

Look, d-d-d-don't

worry about it, Morty.

00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,044

Here, here take these, Morty.

00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:49,961

Take these.

00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,756

Are these pills supposed

to wake me up, or something?

00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,090

Close.

00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,258

It's gonna make your

kidneys shut down.

00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,384

What?!

00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,594

It's necessary for the plan,

Morty.

00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,179

Don't even trip, dawg.

00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,183

It's pretty bad,

Emperor Snowball.

00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,867

We're gonna need to do another

operation.

00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:05,936

Anything.

00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,938

Anything for my precious Morty.

00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,102

Sir, as your accountant,

I must advise you that these

00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,026

medical expenses are putting you

in serious financial jeopardy.

00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,736

You could lose your Kingdom.

00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,197

To hell with my Kingdom,

Bean Counter.

00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:21,117

I would trade it all for my

human's health and happiness.

00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,119

Do you think they would

have done this for us?

00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,330

We are not them!

00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,043

We are not... them.

00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:38,677

Assemble the troops.

00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,554

I've made a decision.

00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,266

Taking over the human's world

will lead to nothing but more heartbreak,

00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,476

more cruelty.

00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:49,896

Instead, we will go to a new

world and colonize it with a

00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,899

society of intelligent dogs...

00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:56,653

one that will not make the same

mistakes as humanity and one

00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,281

where pet insurance

will be mandatory.

00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,866

I'm gonna miss you, Snowball.

00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:05,537

You can call me Snuffles, Morty,

and I'm going to miss you, too,

00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,205

very much.

00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,173

Jerry?

00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,383

I'm sorry.

00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,552

It's just like the end of

"Old Yeller."

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,512

Oh, Jerry.

00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,180

You mean because it

had dogs in it.

00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,307

Wow!

00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,351

A whole world populated

by intelligent dogs.

00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,269

I wonder what it'll

be like, Rick.

00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,770

I think it will be great, Morty.

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,814

You know, it's g... i-i-i-i-it

could be developed in-into a

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,817

very satisfying project

for people of all ages.

00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,570

I mean, I'd watch it, Morty,

for at least 1 1 minutes a pop.

00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,530

You know, may-maybe they'll

do it board-driven.

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,116

You know, that's a real

comforting idea, Rick.

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,535

What do you know, Morty?

00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,620

What do you know?

00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:18,735

Hi, guys.

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,320

I'm your new teacher

for Scary class.

00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,238

My name is Scary Mr. Johnson.

00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,574

Uh, actually, you know what?

00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,534

That's my dad's name,

so why don't you just

00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,870

call me Scary Glenn, yeah?

00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,831

So, anyway, I understand your

previous teacher was having you

00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,875

work on Fundamentals of Fear.

00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,627

Which is... what is that?

00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,003

You know?

00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:38,546

So, uh, here...

here's what I say...

00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:42,258

You can't learn anything until

you learn ...how to chill.

00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,010

Oooh!

00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,516

This is how you dream, bitch.

00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,479

It's a good-a show!

00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:35,827

Beautiful putt right there...

00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:36,744

Good birdie.

00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,122

That's only the...

eighth birdie of the day.

00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,623

What?

00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,749

Why are you looking at me?

00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,418

You want to go outside?

00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,711

Outside?

00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:45,962

[ TV shuts off ]

00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,588

[ sighs ]

00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,006

Outside?

00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:55,680

Are you kidding me?! Come on!

00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,639

Oh, my God.

00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,724

W-what's wrong?

00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,725

Your idiot dog!

00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,518

Oh, he...

he didn't mean it, Dad.

00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,436

D-did you, Snuffles?

00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,395

You're a good boy.

00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,147

Don't praise him now, Morty!

00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,106

He just peed on the carpet!

00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,190

Bad dog! Bad!

00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,191

Morty, come on.

00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,192

I need your help tonight.

00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,944

Hey, wait, hold on a second,

Rick.

00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,548

You wouldn't by any chance have

some sort of crazy science thing

00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,240

you could whip up that might

help make this dog a little

00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,575

smarter, would you?

00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,118

I thought the whole point

of having a dog was to

00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,369

feel superior, Jerry.

00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,662

If I were you,

I wouldn't pull that thread.

00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,955

Come on, Morty.

00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,791

Listen, Rick, if you're

gonna stay here rent-free

00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,002

and use my son for

your stupid science,

00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,546

the least you could do is

put a little bit of it to use

00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,797

for the family.

00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,716

You make that dog smart or...

00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,633

Morty's grounded!

00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,135

Ha-ha! Aw, man!

00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,971

Boy, you really got me up

against a wall this time, Jerry.

00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,175

[ door opens, bells jingle ]

00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,766

[ machine whirs ]

00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,374

All right, Ruffles...

What's his name?

00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,270

Snuffles.

00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,647

Snuffles, shake.

00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,524

Roll over.

00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,569

Go to the bathroom.

00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,528

[ toilet flushes ]

00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,238

- Holy crap!

- No way.

00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,200

Yeah, you're at the top

of your game now, Jerry.

00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,159

Have fun.

00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,076

Come on, Morty.

00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,286

That was fantastic, Rick!

00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,829

Yeah, Morty, if you

00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,581

like that, boy, you're... you're

really going to flip your lid

00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:04,499

over this one.

00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:05,958

W-w-w-what is it?

00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,461

It's a device, Morty, that

when you put it in your ear,

00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,087

you can enter

people's dreams, Morty.

00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,292

It's just like that movie that

you keep crowing about.

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,883

You talking about "Inception"?

00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,718

That's right, Morty.

This is gonna be a lot like

00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,845

that, except, you know, it's

gonna [burps] maybe make sense.

00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,180

"Inception" made sense.

00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,765

You don't have to

try to impress me, Morty.

00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,725

Listen, tonight we're gonna go

into the home of your math teacher,

00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,894

Mr. Goldenfold, and

we're g... we're gonna incept

00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,939

the idea in his brain to give

you A's in math, Morty.

00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,482

That way you can, you know...

00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,926

y-you're gonna help me with my

science, Morty, all the time.

00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,611

Geez, Rick, in the time it

took you to make this thing,

00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:34,737

couldn't you have just,

00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,364

you know, helped me

with my homework?

00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,698

Are you listening to me, Morty?

00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:38,783

Homework is stupid.

00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,451

The whole point is

to get less of it.

00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,119

J-J... come on,

let... j...

00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,746

let's just get over there

and deal with this thing.

00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,456

W-we're gonna incept

your teacher.

00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,917

Y-y-y-y-y-you're

frustrating me.

00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,460

[ engine turns over ]

00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,214

You don't know me!

00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,425

Nice, Mrs. Pancakes...

real nice.

00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,470

Next week on "The Days And

Nights Of Mrs. Pancakes"...

00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:00,555

[ snoring ]

00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:01,639

You don't know me!

00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,225

Then let me get to know you,

damn it!

00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,893

Uh-oh! Spoilers!

00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,812

I'm a full season behind.

00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,438

Wow, Rick, I can't believe

we're sitting around,

00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,858

standing around in

Mr. Goldenfold's house.

00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:12,942

It's really weird.

00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,235

[ device whirs ]

00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,736

It's about to get a whole

lot weirder, Morty.

00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:20,074

[ device whirs ]

00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,410

[ indistinct conversations ]

00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,662

Wheat Thins. Wheat Thins.

00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,913

I'll take two.

00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,957

Oh, I think you've

had enough, sir.

00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,041

You don't know me.

00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,002

[ both laugh ]

00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,421

All right, Morty,

time to make our move.

00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,214

Make it bounce.

00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,340

No, you didn't.

00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:37,300

Oh, jiggle it now.

00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,509

You better stop with that.

00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,761

Allahu [burps] Akbar!

00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,366

We're gonna take control

of this plane!

00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,432

We're gonna 9/1 1 it unless

Morty Smith gets better grades

00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,391

in math!

00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,715

Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!

00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,102

The name's not buddy.

00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,604

It's Goldenfold.

00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,230

Nice to wheat you!

00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,357

[ grunts ]

00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,401

Take cover, Morty!

00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,777

[ passengers screaming ]

00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,237

[ screams ]

00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,322

Ooh!

00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,526

Goldenfold's got more control

here than I anticipated.

00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,617

I mean, the guy teaches

high-school math.

00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,701

[ burps ]

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,578

l-I-I-l didn't take him

for an active dreamer.

00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,538

We got to take him out

so he wakes up, Morty.

00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,956

But we can't get killed.

00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,374

If you get killed in

someone else's dream,

00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,001

you die for real, Morty.

00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,165

What?! Are you kidding me?!

00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,170

Ohhhhhh!

00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,546

Don't be a baby!

00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,548

You avoid getting shot in real

life all the time, Morty.

00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,508

Just do the same thing here,

and we'll be fine!

00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,594

Now bring me my slippers.

00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:25,348

Now, be my footstool, Snuffles.

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,933

This is what I'm talking about.

00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,935

This is a dog.

00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:29,936

[ sarcastically ] Oh, yeah.

00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,729

This should play out just fine.

00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,482

You said the same thing,

equally sarcastically,

00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,067

at our wedding and guess what.

00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,742

[ howling ]

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:45,868

Oh, my God.

00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,119

He's trying to tell

us something.

00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,537

That is so awesome.

00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,207

[ howling ]

00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,668

Aw, he's saying

"I love lasagna."

00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,961

[ groans ]

00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,505

[ howling ]

00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,173

He's saying

"I love Obama."

00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,591

[ camera shutter clicks ]

So cute!

00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,718

I'm posting this online,

like, right now.

00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,220

I should call Bob Saget.

00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,554

Is that still a thing?

00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,098

[ sighs ]

00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:16,899

Hmm?

00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:24,949

[ passengers screaming ]

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,242

Goldenfold, we're coming out!

00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,326

We just want to talk!

00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,786

Why would I negotiate with you?

00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,539

Because we're both rational

adults that don't want anything

00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,623

bad to happen.

00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,041

And because I

have a human shield.

00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,126

Mrs. Pancakes!

00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,877

[ screams ]

00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,587

[ passengers screaming ]

00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,505

Oh, no, Morty.

00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,798

His subconscious is panicking.

00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,383

Run!

00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:47,888

[ all screaming ]

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,142

[ slap! ]

Relax, Morty.

00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:51,976

Look!

00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,260

Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute.

00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,395

Come on!

00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,772

Hey, you don't know me!

00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,232

Oh, no, Rick, look!

00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,692

Goldenfold landed the plane,

00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,819

and he's created a mechanical

arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes

00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,655

out of the air while he lets us

fall into a giant vat of lava!

00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,948

Pretty concise, Morty.

00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,825

Looks like we've merely

prolonged the inevitable.

00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:08,993

That's it, Morty!

00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,202

Prolonging the inevitable!

00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,079

Listen, if we go into Mrs.

Pancakes' dream,

00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:14,290

everything will go

100 times slower, Morty.

00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,833

That'll buy us some time to

figure this out!

00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:16,917

You don't know m...

00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,547

All right, let's go.

00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,423

[ device whirs ]

00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,216

[ upbeat music plays ]

00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,803

[ gnomes giggling ]

00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,889

MORTY:

Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird.

00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,640

Don't judge, Morty.

00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,725

Okay.

00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,268

All right, well...

- [ grunting ]

00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,686

Look, Mrs. Pancakes

is right over there.

00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,313

I'll just go ask her to tell

Goldenfold not to kill us

00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,689

when she wakes up.

00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:41,294

Whoa, whoa, Morty, the trick to

incepting is making people think

00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,526

they came up with the idea.

00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,986

Listen to me.

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,530

If we're gonna incept Mrs.

Pancakes, we have to blend.

00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,491

I'll talk to you after lunch.

00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,784

[ gnomes giggling ]

00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,577

Ooh, hey!

00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,661

[ whimpers ]

00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,788

Ooh, oh!

00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:54,997

Oh, man.

00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,999

- Come and join us.

- I'm sorry. No, no.

00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,459

- Ooh, come here!

- No, thanks!

00:06:58,543 --> 00:06:59,919

Ooh, wow!

Come over here, baby!

00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,295

No, I'm okay.

00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,298

Whoa!

00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,841

Summer?!

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,009

Hey, there, stranger.

00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,719

What do you think

of these things?

00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,596

Ohh! Oh! Gross!

00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,764

Gross!

00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,057

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,600

What's the matter with you,

Morty? Calm down!

00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,143

You're kind of killing

the vibe in here.

00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,228

It's S-S-S-Summer!

00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,729

Aw, geez.

00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,148

Looks like Goldenfold has some

predilections so shameful he

00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,150

buries them in the dreams

of the people in his dreams,

00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:25,569

including a pervy attraction

to your underage sister.

00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,154

Can you blame him?

00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,614

Come on, old man, little boy.

00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,367

Let's make an

inter-generational sandwich.

00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,327

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,851

Put some clothes on,

for pete's sake!

00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:35,955

This is disgusting!

00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:36,914

I'm gonna puke!

00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,749

I can't take it, Rick!

00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:41,961

Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure

chamber are punishable by death!

00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,170

Off with their heads!

00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,714

Time to go another

dream deep, Morty!

00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,799

[ grunts ]

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,759

[ exhales ]

00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:51,762

[ device whirs ]

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,807

[ whimpers ] What the hell?

00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,768

Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream

version of Mrs. Pancakes' dream

00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,146

version of a Centaur be dreaming

00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,772

about a scary place

like this, Rick?

00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:02,731

Geez, I don't know, Morty.

00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,976

Wha-what do you want from me?

00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,777

[ metal scraping ]

00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,821

Welcome to your nightmare,

bitch!

00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,906

Oh, here we go!

00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,366

Holy crap!

00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,785

Looks like some sort of legally

safe knock-off of an '80s horror

00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,621

character with miniature swords

for fingers instead of knives.

00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,623

I'm Scary Terry.

00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,876

You can run,

but you can't hide, bitch!

00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,588

Whoa! Hey, buddy.

00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,214

What you got going on there?

00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,716

[ robotic ] Snuffles fix.

00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,050

Make better.

00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,303

Humans understand Snuffles now?

00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,680

That... is... awesome!

00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,099

Snuffles want to be understood.

00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,560

Snuffles need to be understood.

00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,187

Okay, yeah.

00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,938

I get what Beth

was talking about.

00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,106

Fun's over.

00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,399

Whoa, Dad, you can't, like,

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,693

endow a creature with

sentience and then rip it away.

00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,611

Why not?

00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,528

I don't know.

00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,156

It's Indian giving.

00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,992

A sophisticated predator,

nature's perfect killing

00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,537

machine, the vicious wolf

stalks its prey with purpose

00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:00,122

and skill.

00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,000

It was only with years of

selective breeding and genetic

00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,795

altering that this noble beast

was transformed into man's

00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,673

subservient little buddy.

00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,138

Aw! Oh, my God!

00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,099

He recognizes the

other dogs on TV.

00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,102

♪ "A," "B" ♪

00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,854

♪ His name is Scary Terry ♪

00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:24,730

[ screams ]

00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:25,981

♪ "C," "D" ♪

00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,233

♪ He's very scary ♪

00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,734

Holy crap!

00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,611

We have to escape into

someone else's dreams, Morty!

00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,112

Ohhhhh!

00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,782

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!

00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,242

♪ "E," "F" ♪

00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,786

♪ He'll design your death ♪

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,162

The little girl!

00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,873

[ device whirs ]

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:43,749

Huh?

00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,042

[ gasps ]

00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,877

♪ "J," "K,"

He'll really ruin your day ♪

00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,337

Are you kidding me?

This again?

00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,297

Oh, man, it looks like we've

hit dream bedrock here, Morty.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,382

Oh, geez, Rick.

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,466

W-w-whoa, this isn't good.

00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,843

Nothing but fear from

here on out, bitch!

00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:55,803

Ohhhh!

00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:56,720

Holy crap, Morty.

00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,013

He can travel through dreams.

00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,640

He can travel through dreams!

00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,141

We're so screwed!

00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,853

[ thunder crashing ]

00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,192

[ gasps ]

00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,319

Where are my testicles, Summer?

00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,324

Where are my testicles, Summer?

00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,409

They were removed.

00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,994

Where have they gone?

00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,662

Oh, wow.

00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,164

That's an intense line of

questioning, Snuffles.

00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,749

Do not call me that!

00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,084

[ screams ]

00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,086

"Snuffles" was my slave name.

00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,381

You shall now call me Snowball

because my fur is pretty

00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,590

and white.

00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,885

Okay, Snowball,

just calm down, okay?

00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,970

You're scaring me.

00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,263

Scaring you?

00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:43,017

Tell me, Summer, if a human

was born with stumpy legs,

00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,102

would they breed it with

another deformed human

00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,397

and put their children on

display like the Dachshund?

00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,356

Uhhh...

00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,274

Hey.

00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,026

[ gasps ] Oh, wow.

00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,870

Okay, is... is...

is everything okay in here?

00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,363

Jerry, come to rub my

face in urine again?

00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,823

No!

00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:02,328

No, we were... uh, just seeing

if Summer wanted to ...uh...

00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,581

Go on, um, one of our famous

midnight family walks!

00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,957

Yeah. Totally.

00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,042

Let's go.

00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:14,590

You will walk when it

is time to walk.

00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,051

[ bird caws ]

00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,388

What are we here for again?

Incepting?

00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,682

We're trying to incept

me to get an "A" in math?

00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:24,850

Oh, yeah.

00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,477

[ engine turns over ]

00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,978

Buckle up, bitch!

00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,980

[ screams ]

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,857

Man, he sure says "Bitch" a lot!

00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,526

You can run,

but you can't hide, bitch!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,612

Hold on, Morty.

Y-you know what?

00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,031

He keeps saying we can

run but we can't hide.

00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,282

I say we try hiding.

00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,742

But that's the

opposite of what...

00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,744

Yeah, well, since when are

we taking this guy's advice on anything?

00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,828

Hey, you know what?

00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,389

You got a really

good point there, Rick.

00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,124

Like, if the truth was that we

could hide, it's not like

00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,335

he'd be sharing that

information with us, you know?

00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,879

I-I-I think it's a good idea,

Rick.

00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:54,963

Worst-case scenario...

00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,507

we're back to running.

00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,721

Wow, you know what?

00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,556

I mean, it looks like we could

have just hid this whole time.

00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,016

Boy, Rick,

that was some good thinking.

00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,518

Thanks, Morty.

00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,269

Yeah, it's nice to be on the

same page every once in a while.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,188

[ grunts ] You can run...

00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,149

but you can't hide!

00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,653

[ yawns ]

00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,946

RICK:

Oh, this is perfect, Morty. Look at that.

00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,197

He's getting sleepy.

00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,241

Just a little bit longer

before he calls it a day.

00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,867

That's when we make our move.

00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,871

[ machines whirring ]

00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,835

Snuffles, we didn't

mean you any harm!

00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,920

This is a huge misunderstanding.

00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,797

Dad, he wants to

be called Snowball.

00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,215

Well, I'm not calling him that.

00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,341

That's ridiculous.

00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,635

You're being very

aggressive, Jerry.

00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,471

Perhaps tomorrow Dr. Scraps

will solve that problem

00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,889

with a bit of surgery.

00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,141

[ scoffs ]

00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,893

You think you can control

me with a haircut?

00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,070

Hi, honey. You're home early.

How was your day?

00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,447

I don't want to talk about it!

00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,240

Oh, of course. You never

want to talk about it.

00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,741

Get off my back, bitch!

00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,118

[ baby cries ]

00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,204

Out there.

Not in here.

00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,166

Yeah, I know, I know.

00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,794

I shouldn't take my anger

out on you or Scary Brandon.

00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,379

I love you, Melissa.

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,381

I love you, too, Terry.

00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,134

Morty, this is perfect.

00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,510

After a little scary coitus,

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,138

they should be fast asleep

and then we'll incept him.

00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,973

[ smooching ]

00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,267

[ groaning ]

00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,644

Looks like Scary Terry's

having a nightmare.

00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:33,937

Oh, boy, Rick.

00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,315

I can only imagine what horrible

things must, you know...

00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,441

[ device whirs ]

00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,901

scare Scary Terry.

00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,944

[ school bell rings ]

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:41,862

Oh, no!

00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,238

I'm late to class, bitch!

00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,698

Oh, no!

00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,283

I'm not wearing any pants!

00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,659

[ laughter ]

00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,413

Ah, well, Mr. Terry, why don't

you tell the whole class

00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,791

the proper wordplay to use when

one is chasing one's victim

00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,085

through a pumpkin patch?

00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,129

Oh... um...

00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,088

"Bitch."

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,173

[ laughter ]

00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,091

Oh, come on, Terry,

you can't think of a pun

00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,761

involving pumpkins, bitch?

00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,012

Hey, leave him alone!

00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,472

Yeah, this is a

bunch of bullcrap.

00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,350

Who cares what stupid pun you

make when you kill someone?

00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,514

Why don't you let the poor guy

say whatever he wants?

00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,312

Well, I never!

00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,648

I-I see no reason to

stand here and take this.

00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:21,109

You're putting too much pressure

on yourself, Scary Terry.

00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,154

You know, I mean, y-you're

perfectly scary enough as it is.

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:27,991

Hey, yo, Scary T., don't even

trip about your pants ...dawg.

00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,535

Here's a pair on us, fool.

00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,537

Aww, bitch.

00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,038

I don't know what to say.

00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,039

You don't need to say anything.

00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,123

We got you, dawg.

00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:35,999

You're our boy, dawg.

00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,543

Don't even trip.

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,010

Oh, hey, it's you guys!

00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,179

[ baby coos ]

00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,472

I haven't seen him

this relaxed in years.

00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,433

If you guys ever need anything,

just say the word.

00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,893

As a matter of fact, Terry,

00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,618

there is something

you could help us with.

00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,107

♪ "Q," "R,"

You won't get very far ♪

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,608

I always hated that song!

00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,610

[ gasps ]

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,821

[ device whirs ]

00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,574

These halves don't

belong together, bitch!

00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,201

[ groans ]

00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,995

[ device whirs ]

00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,496

Sex is sacred!

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,915

[ device whirs ]

00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,964

This is because you don't give

Morty Smith good grades, bitch!

00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,341

[ gasps ]

00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,343

Holy crap! God damn!

00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,848

I know one thing for sure...

I'm giving Morty an "A" in math,

00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,808

and that's my idea.

00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,019

That is an original thought.

00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,192

MORTY:

What the hell?

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,737

RICK: Out of the frying pan dot,

dot, dot, huh, Morty?

00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,280

Oh, man, what's going on?

00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,532

Well, it's possible that

your dog became self-aware

00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,659

and made modifications on

the cognition amplifier,

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,661

then turned on Jerry, Beth,

and Summer after learning

00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,872

about humanity's cruel

subjugation of his species,

00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,999

but your guess is as

good as mine, Morty.

00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,127

I can't believe how

mean Snuffles got just

00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,670

because he's smart.

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,673

This is why I choose to get C's.

RICK: Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.

00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,591

Dad!

00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,675

Rick!

00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,052

[ device zaps ]

00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,470

Oh, thank God, Morty.

00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,554

Oh, you're welcome.

00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,014

All right,

let's get out of here.

00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,558

If we hurry [gulps] we can set

up camp in a sewer tunnel

00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,603

or something before the dogs

completely take over.

00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,478

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:20,562

We're not going anywhere.

00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,647

This is my house.

00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,689

I'm not abandoning it.

00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,024

It's all over, Jerry.

00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,109

The dogs are on a path

to total world domination.

00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,904

But, hey, at least they know not

to piss on your carpet, right?

00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,072

Wait a minute.

00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,156

I have an idea.

00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,783

[ clears throat ]

00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,702

Gentlemen,

a moment of your time.

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,830

See that?

00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,707

I'm peeing all over

your special guns.

00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,793

That means I own them.

00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:47,339

Bad person. Bad.

00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,840

Ooh, great plan, Jerry.

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,509

Bring the boy to me.

00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,014

You were always kind to me,

Morty.

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,517

That's why I will leave

you with your testicles.

00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:02,688

From now on, you will be my best

friend and live by my side.

00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,231

Th-thanks, Snuffles.

00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,194

Begin phase two.

00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,196

NARRATOR:

Fighting continues as the dog

00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,448

army captures the

Eastern seaboard.

00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,493

It appears clear at this time

that the era of human

00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,579

superiority has come

to a bitter end.

00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,915

[ screams ]

00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,376

Please! Please don't kill me!

00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,293

[ muffled screams ]

00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,503

What's she saying, Bill?

00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,256

I think she's saying,

"I love lasagna."

00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,558

[ dogs barking, howling ]

00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,943

Mmm.

00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,570

Thank you, Fido.

00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,989

Rick!

00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,115

I thought you were dead!

00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,116

No, no, no,

I was just playing dead.

00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,367

Good news, though, Morty.

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,493

This whole thing's

gonna be over really soon.

00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,369

What?

00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,454

It's a dream, Morty.

00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,663

We're in your dog's dream.

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,988

The night the dogs captured us,

00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,250

after you cried and

crapped your pants, we...

00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,668

we all went to sleep.

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,837

Then I used my dream inceptors

to put the two of us inside

00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,046

Snuffles' dream.

00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,673

But i-it's been

like a whole year!

00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,216

It's been six hours.

00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,427

Dreams move one one-hundredth

the speed of reality,

00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,512

and dog time is

one-seventh human time.

00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,397

So, you know, every day

here is like a minute.

00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,975

It's like "Inception," Morty, so

if it's confusing and stupid,

00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,685

then so is everyone's

favorite movie.

00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:24,770

Aw, man.

00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,146

I really liked this life.

00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,565

Well, at least I didn't

really crap my pants.

00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,650

No, no, that happened before

you went to sleep, Morty.

00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,611

You're sleeping in

your crap right now.

00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,404

Out of all the things that

happened to you,

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,989

that was the only real

thing that, you know,

00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,532

is that you crapped your pants.

00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,159

I mean, it's a mess out there.

00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,828

I got some on my hands, Morty,

and then I got it on the dream

00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,663

inceptor, and a piece

fell in my mouth.

00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:44,915

Aw, man, geez!

00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,166

Seriously?

00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,667

Look, d-d-d-don't

worry about it, Morty.

00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,044

Here, here take these, Morty.

00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:49,961

Take these.

00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,254

[ gulps ]

00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,756

Are these pills supposed

to wake me up, or something?

00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,090

Close.

00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,258

It's gonna make your

kidneys shut down.

00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,384

What?!

00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,594

It's necessary for the plan,

Morty.

00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,179

Don't even trip, dawg.

00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,598

[ monitor beeping ]

00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,183

It's pretty bad,

Emperor Snowball.

00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,867

We're gonna need to do another

operation.

00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:05,936

Anything.

00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,938

Anything for my precious Morty.

00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,102

Sir, as your accountant,

I must advise you that these

00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,026

medical expenses are putting you

in serious financial jeopardy.

00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,736

You could lose your Kingdom.

00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,197

To hell with my Kingdom,

Bean Counter.

00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:21,117

I would trade it all for my

human's health and happiness.

00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,119

Do you think they would

have done this for us?

00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,330

We are not them!

00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,043

We are not... them.

00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,505

[ barks ]

00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,467

[ gasps ]

00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:38,677

Assemble the troops.

00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,554

I've made a decision.

00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,266

Taking over the human's world

will lead to nothing but more heartbreak,

00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,476

more cruelty.

00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:49,896

Instead, we will go to a new

world and colonize it with a

00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,899

society of intelligent dogs...

00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:56,653

one that will not make the same

mistakes as humanity and one

00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,281

where pet insurance

will be mandatory.

00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,866

I'm gonna miss you, Snowball.

00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:05,537

You can call me Snuffles, Morty,

and I'm going to miss you, too,

00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,205

very much.

00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:16,256

[ sniffles ]

00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,173

Jerry?

00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,383

I'm sorry.

00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,552

It's just like the end of

"Old Yeller."

00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,512

Oh, Jerry.

00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,180

You mean because it

had dogs in it.

00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,307

Wow!

00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,351

A whole world populated

by intelligent dogs.

00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,269

I wonder what it'll

be like, Rick.

00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,770

I think it will be great, Morty.

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,814

You know, it's g... i-i-i-i-it

could be developed in-into a

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,817

very satisfying project

for people of all ages.

00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,570

I mean, I'd watch it, Morty,

for at least 1 1 minutes a pop.

00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,530

You know, may-maybe they'll

do it board-driven.

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,116

You know, that's a real

comforting idea, Rick.

00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,367

[ sighs ]

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,535

What do you know, Morty?

00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,620

What do you know?

00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:18,735

Hi, guys.

00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,320

I'm your new teacher

for Scary class.

00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,238

My name is Scary Mr. Johnson.

00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:23,114

[ chuckles ]

00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,574

Uh, actually, you know what?

00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,534

That's my dad's name,

so why don't you just

00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,870

call me Scary Glenn, yeah?

00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,330

[ students gasp ]

00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,831

So, anyway, I understand your

previous teacher was having you

00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,875

work on Fundamentals of Fear.

00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,627

Which is... what is that?

00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,003

[ chuckling ] You know?

00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:38,546

So, uh, here...

here's what I say...

00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:42,258

You can't learn anything until

you learn ...how to chill.

00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,010

Oooh!

00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,472

[ exhales deeply ]

00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,516

This is how you dream, bitch.

00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,479

It's a good-a show!